ADHD Chatter PodcastI don’t believe compliments 🫣 #adhd
Alex Partridge on aDHD and RSD make compliments feel fake, despite success evidence.
In this episode of ADHD Chatter Podcast, featuring Alex Partridge, I don’t believe compliments 🫣 #adhd explores aDHD and RSD make compliments feel fake, despite success evidence After learning his RSD book hit #1 on the Sunday Times bestseller list, Alex feels relief and exhaustion rather than pride.
At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
ADHD and RSD make compliments feel fake, despite success evidence
- After learning his RSD book hit #1 on the Sunday Times bestseller list, Alex feels relief and exhaustion rather than pride.
- He describes his “positive reinforcement setting” as faulty, where finishing a project feels like survival instead of accomplishment.
- Compliments like “you must be so proud” don’t land for him; he assumes people are only being nice rather than sincere.
- Even objective proof of success doesn’t override his doubt, as he jokingly imagines the bestseller list itself is “just being nice.”
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasBig wins can feel emotionally flat with ADHD/RSD.
Even a clear milestone (a #1 bestseller) can register as relief and fatigue rather than joy, suggesting the reward system may not deliver a “success feeling” reliably.
Completion may feel like survival, not celebration.
He frames finishing tasks as “Thank gosh I survived,” highlighting how effort and stress can dominate the emotional memory of an achievement.
Compliments can be mistrusted even when they’re accurate.
Praise is interpreted as politeness instead of truth, which can prevent positive feedback from building confidence over time.
Evidence doesn’t automatically defeat self-doubt.
Objective validation (a reputable bestseller list) still doesn’t feel fully believable, showing how feelings can override facts in self-assessment.
This pattern can quietly reduce motivation and satisfaction.
If accomplishments don’t produce a rewarding emotional payoff, it may become harder to feel energized by progress or to recognize personal growth.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesIt's got to be the most annoying part of ADHD, and I'll demonstrate it by explaining what happened to me yesterday.
— Alex Partridge
So yesterday, I discovered that my RSD book was a number one Sunday Times bestseller. Number one.
— Alex Partridge
Like, there's no sense of accomplishment, only exhaustion and a relief that it's done.
— Alex Partridge
It's like my positive reinforcement setting is faulty.
— Alex Partridge
I don't believe anyone who tries to congratulate me. I just think they're being kind or nice, even when I have the evidence.
— Alex Partridge
QUESTIONS ANSWERED IN THIS EPISODE
5 questionsWhen you say your “positive reinforcement setting is faulty,” what sensations or thoughts show up right after a success?
After learning his RSD book hit #1 on the Sunday Times bestseller list, Alex feels relief and exhaustion rather than pride.
Do you think the disbelief is more related to RSD (fear of rejection) or impostor syndrome (doubting competence), or both?
He describes his “positive reinforcement setting” as faulty, where finishing a project feels like survival instead of accomplishment.
What would a compliment that actually feels believable look or sound like for you?
Compliments like “you must be so proud” don’t land for him; he assumes people are only being nice rather than sincere.
Have you found any strategies that help you internalize achievements—journaling wins, external metrics, sharing with trusted people, therapy/coaching?
Even objective proof of success doesn’t override his doubt, as he jokingly imagines the bestseller list itself is “just being nice.”
Could the exhaustion you describe be a sign of burnout from how you work (e.g., urgency, perfectionism), and how might you change the process—not just the outcome?
Chapter Breakdown
ADHD trait spotlight: struggling to accept compliments
Alex frames an experience he believes many people with ADHD share: finding compliments hard to believe or internalize. He sets it up as one of the most annoying ADHD-related patterns for him.
The trigger event: becoming a #1 Sunday Times bestseller
He recounts discovering his RSD book reached number one on the Sunday Times bestseller list. The achievement is presented as clear, objective evidence of success.
Others celebrate, but pride doesn’t show up
People message him with congratulations and encouragement, expecting pride and satisfaction. His internal reaction is unexpectedly flat: he doesn’t feel proud.
Accomplishment replaced by exhaustion and relief
Instead of reward or joy, he describes feeling depleted and simply relieved the process is over. Success feels like the end of a stressful ordeal rather than a positive milestone.
“Faulty positive reinforcement”: success doesn’t register
Alex characterizes his brain’s reward system as miscalibrated—positive reinforcement doesn’t “land.” The completion of tasks feels like survival, not celebration.
Discounting praise: assuming people are just being nice
He explains that he tends to distrust congratulations, interpreting them as politeness rather than genuine recognition. Even when praise is warranted, he struggles to believe it’s real.
Even objective evidence feels unreal
Despite the measurable proof of success, he still doubts its legitimacy. He jokes that even the bestseller list feels like it’s “being nice,” underscoring how deep the disbelief runs.
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript
Get more out of YouTube videos.
High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.
Add to Chrome