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12 Unhinged ADHD Hacks That ACTUALLY Work (don't judge til you try)

Does your brain feel like 7 highly caffeinated squirrels are barrelling around up there? Does this cause overwhelm, anxiety and procrastination? Do you feel like you can't start basic chores? Here are 12 unhinged ADHD hacks that ACTUALLY work! Chapters: 02:10 Pinch your thoughts 04:17 Start with ‘No’ 07:26 The dopamine menu 10:34 Leave laptop charger at home 13:06 The task finisher hack 14:23 ‘To do list’ VS backlog 16:40 Slower mornings, not earlier mornings 20:07 Tiimo advert 21:24 Just one dish 23:54 Scary hour 25:32 RSD bracelet 30:43 Blink for one minute 31:39 Check your tribe Get 30% off an annual Tiimo subscription 👉 https://www.tiimoapp.com/offers/adhdchatter Pre-order Alex’s latest book about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 👉 https://linktr.ee/adhdchatter?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=9ffd8709-06df-444c-9936-c136fbd14d6e Buy Alex's book entitled 'Now It All Makes Sense' 👉 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Now-All-Makes-Sense-Diagnosis/dp/1399817817 Producer: Timon Woodward Recorded by: Hamlin Studios Trailer Editor: Ryan Faber DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Alex Partridgehost
Jan 27, 202639mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 2:10

    Intro

    1. AP

      12 ADHD hacks that actually work

    2. AP

      And when did you put these into practice?

    3. AP

      So I think it's important to say, I don't speak about it too much, but before my ADHD diagnosis, I had a 10-year business career where I started two global social media brands, one called UniLad and one called LADbible. And it was really interesting, when I got my ADHD diagnosis, I really reflected on the conscious and subconscious hacks that I had implemented that enabled me to bypass, to get through some of the, the, the challenges that I was probably facing with things like disorganization and motivation and procrastination. So I really wanted to put a list together of the hacks that I used that helped me make LADbible, really helped me make this podcast too, to share with the audience in the hope that it will benefit them too.

    4. AP

      Great. And so there's 12 of them?

    5. AP

      12 of my best hacks, yes.

    6. AP

      Right. And I've read through them, and some of them are absolutely genius.

    7. AP

      They do get better-

    8. AP

      And I never thought-

    9. AP

      -as the list goes on

    10. AP

      ... yeah. They're really, really good, really, really clever, and then a couple of them are out- just outright bizarre.

    11. AP

      But-

    12. AP

      So-

    13. AP

      Yeah

    14. AP

      ... but they work

    15. AP

      ... some of them, some of them are a bit bizarre, but I think it... We're, we're incredible problem solvers, and I think if we let our ability to think outside the box lead sometimes, we're actually capable of finding really interesting, unique ways to almost hijack our ability to, to not procrastinate.

    16. AP

      Mm.

    17. AP

      And looking back on what I was subconsciously doing through my business career and in the early stages of this podcast, I think they're... Yes, they're, they're, they're definitely out of the box, but I promise you, they are incredibly effective.

    18. AP

      And very simple to implement. You could do these today.

    19. AP

      None of them require any money, no investment, just a little bit of knowledge and a little bit of ability to try something new.

    20. AP

      Right. Right, shall we start?

    21. AP

      Let's go.

    22. AP

      They're sort of written in code, so I'm gonna say them. I have no idea what they mean. You're gonna explain them.

    23. AP

      Yeah.

    24. AP

      And we're starting at number 12.

    25. AP

      Yes.

    26. AP

      And then they get way more interesting as the list goes on.

    27. AP

      Yes. [laughs]

    28. AP

      Right, which is very exciting.

  2. 2:10 – 4:17

    Pinch your thoughts

    1. AP

      Okay, right, number 12. Pinch your thoughts.

    2. AP

      Yeah, so this is something anyone can do now. If you take an object near you, I'm gonna use this pen for an example, and hold it out in front of you, and really try and focus on this one object. Really notice the nuances of it. What color is it? What shape is it? How the light reflects off it, what texture it is.

    3. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    4. AP

      Really intentionally try to focus your attention on this object, and by doing this, you're squeezing out all other distractions, other things that might be pulling your attention in different directions. It's like a bicep curl for your attention.

    5. AP

      Right.

    6. AP

      And it's a really simple exercise, but if you do this often enough, you can train your attention to really focus on the, on the important things that come up in our lives.

    7. AP

      Interesting.

    8. AP

      You're manifesting your attention into one thing. If you really, really hold one object out in front of you and focus on it and f- really notice the details, the, the, the minuscule nuances of, of that object, like the, the color, the texture, how light bounces off it, and you're using your intention to focus your attention.

    9. AP

      Right.

    10. AP

      And we, we take our mi- we take our bodies to the gym and work out our muscles to get fitter, but we don't always work out our brain.

    11. AP

      Mm.

    12. AP

      You can use little exercises like this to really strengthen that mental muscle that enables you to really tunnel vision your focus when it really matters.

    13. AP

      But do you think you could pinch your thoughts too efficiently and you m- might miss your train stop by just holding-

    14. AP

      [laughs]

    15. AP

      ... out the pen like this for too long?

    16. AP

      Yeah.

    17. AP

      Your hack works-

    18. AP

      Well, that's when hack number seven comes in, and we'll get to that. [laughs]

    19. AP

      Oh, right, yeah, yeah. Hack number seven is a real good one. [laughs]

    20. AP

      [laughs]

    21. AP

      It might change my life when I start implementing that. Right, shall we go on to the next one? Number 11.

  3. 4:17 – 7:26

    Start with ‘No’

    1. AP

      Start with 'No'

    2. AP

      In all of our lives, people will ask things from us. They'll demand our time, and I think it's so easy when you have ADHD, particularly when you are fearful of letting people down, to make your default answer to people asking things of you as yes. So the advice is to start with no. If someone asks something of you, start with no.

    3. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    4. AP

      A common problem is, for example, someone would ask you like, "Can you walk my dog on Thursday?" And because people with ADHD crave stimulation, it's easy to say, "Yes, I'd love to walk your dog." And then you walk away from that situation, maybe you're driving home, and you check your phone and you remember that on the same day you agreed to walk this person's dog, you've also agreed to go out for lunch with a friend.

    5. AP

      Mm. Mm-hmm.

    6. AP

      And you think, "Oh my gosh, I've double-booked myself." So you go into problem-solving mode. You think, "Hang on, I can probably drive to walk the dog at 12 o'clock, walk the dog for 20 minutes, jump in my car, get to the restaurant, and be fine for that lunch appointment at, at 1:30."

    7. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    8. AP

      Then, of course, the day comes around and time blindness and overwhelm, everything that comes with that. There's a lot of things that you didn't account for, and you end up realizing, "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to let these people down." And you often just avoid the conversation. Maybe you ghost their texts saying, "Where are you?" You get a text saying like, "Why did you agree to this?" And it's just f- so much shame, so much disappointment, so much anxiety because you, you've let people down because you've committed to too much, and all of this can be resolved if you really try toShift your knee-jerk responses to, from yes to, to, to, to no. Like, just make no your start point, because it's so much easier to say no and then maybe change it to a yes later on, than it is to say yes and then think, "Oh my gosh. Actually, I need to change that to a no."

    9. AP

      It's important for people to realize that they don't owe anyone anything.

    10. AP

      100%. You, you have to protect your energy, which is oh so finite, with anyone, but particularly with you have ADHD. And we can get s- in such a muddle, in such this, this, this spiral of overwhelm and anxiety about letting people down, when suddenly we've, we've said yes to 10 things and we've double-booked ourselves, we've over-committed. And the mental exhaustion that comes with trying to wriggle your way out of this, this conundrum of, of over-committing yourself, when it can all be avoided if we just start with no.

    11. AP

      That's good advice, but i- it is also important to caveat that with you don't owe anyone anything, apart from, like, loans and stuff for banks and, you know, you still have to pay that back.

    12. AP

      [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

    13. AP

      Okay?

    14. AP

      Saying no to a bailiff-

    15. AP

      Yeah

    16. AP

      ... [laughs] often doesn't work.

    17. AP

      Yeah. This one's a great one, 'cause there's a prop.

    18. AP

      Yes.

    19. AP

      Can you tell me what it is? Number

  4. 7:26 – 10:34

    The dopamine menu

    1. AP

      10.

    2. AP

      So this is a dopamine menu, and a dopamine menu is a list of tasks that give you genuine joy and genuine dopamine, and it serves as a reminder of what you are genuinely passionate and interested and what you actually do for fun. 'Cause if you don't have a visual reminder, it's, uh, really easy to just default back to doomscrolling or online shopping or whatever it is. Um, and in my dopamine menu, I break it down into four categories. So starters, these are things that should be 15 minutes or less. So on my starter list, it's one minute of easy exercise, drinking a cup of coffee, listening to my favorite song, cuddling my dog, whistling, quick meditation, put on a face mask, stretch, watering my plants, or just doodle. And on my mains, which is 30 minutes plus, catching up with a friend, playing an instrument, walking my dog, dive into special interests, exercising, journaling, cooking or baking, or having a hot bath. Now, on the sides, these are things that give me dopamine that can actually accompany me as I'm trying to do a boring task. So things that can just be happening in the background, almost acting as kind of like a body double that help me get through a boring tasks. And on my sides list, there's listening to white noise, lighting a candle, playing a podcast, using a fidget toy, gamification, so making the, the, the task more interesting by gamifying it-

    3. AP

      Mm-hmm

    4. AP

      ... or calling a friend as I'm trying to do the boring tasks.

    5. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    6. AP

      And I think it's also important on all of our dopamine menus to include desserts, something that we can almost treat ourselves from time to time, but you don't wanna do too often because they're not the healthiest form of dopamine.

    7. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    8. AP

      And on mine, that is doomscrolling, online shopping, or binge-watching TV. And I think it's so important for people with ADHD who have object permanence, who can forget sometimes actually what they do for fun.

    9. AP

      Mm.

    10. AP

      Plus, there's the whole masking things that comes into it. Many people don't really know who they really are and what actually gives them dopamine. So when we do have these moments of clarity, write them down on your dopamine menu so you have a constant visual reminder of what actually you can do in your day that gives you healthy dopamine.

    11. AP

      Yeah. The menu doesn't have to be that big, though, does it?

    12. AP

      [laughs] Uh, it could be bigger-

    13. AP

      Yeah [laughs]

    14. AP

      ... if you want. [laughs]

    15. AP

      Yeah. Yeah.

    16. AP

      This is a tiny one.

    17. AP

      [laughs] Yeah, no, that's what I mean. It's like, uh, for a dopamine menu, you see them, people carrying them round town, don't you?

    18. AP

      Yeah, yeah.

    19. AP

      They're huge. Absolutely massive.

    20. AP

      [laughs]

    21. AP

      The bigger, the better. Any other desserts you can, you can think of in there?

    22. AP

      Uh, f- probably playing computer games.

    23. AP

      Yeah.

    24. AP

      For me. Um, having a Nando's.

    25. AP

      Do Nando's sponsor the show yet?

    26. AP

      [laughs]

    27. AP

      They should.

    28. AP

      Yeah.

    29. AP

      [laughs] Actually, by the, the amount of times that you use Nando's, they probably don't even need to sponsor.

    30. AP

      Yeah.

  5. 10:34 – 13:06

    Leave laptop charger at home

    1. AP

      leave laptop charger at home.

    2. AP

      So when I wrote my second book, I realized that if I stayed indoors and tried to do a task based off, like, no accountability, it often didn't get done. If I took my laptop to a cafe and I left my charger at home-

    3. AP

      Mm-hmm

    4. AP

      ... that gave me almost, like, a deadline, because I know for a fact that if I'm writing, my laptop has about four to five hours worth of power on it.

    5. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    6. AP

      So it gives me this adrenaline rush of thinking, "Oh my gosh, I literally have four to five hours of writing before my laptop will turn off."

    7. AP

      Mm.

    8. AP

      So leaving your charger at home gives you this deadline, gives you the adrenaline to actually get through the task. And of course, if you're doing other things like video editing or watching stuff on YouTube, whatever it is, you've probably got less time, less battery.

    9. AP

      Mm.

    10. AP

      So depending on what you're doing, leave your charger at home, and you give yourself this deadline, which will give you an adrenaline rush to, to get the task finished.

    11. AP

      So my problem is that I came up with a hack to counteract that hack, and that is just not charging my laptop, and then I go to the cafe and it's got, like, two minutes left, and I go, "Oh, no, I've gotta go home again" [laughs] .

    12. AP

      [laughs]

    13. AP

      So don't do that. But yeah, it's... That's a really good one. That's a really good one. So I-

    14. AP

      What work do you do in two minutes?

    15. AP

      Well, exactly. [laughs]

    16. AP

      Yeah.

    17. AP

      I can just about enter my password.

    18. AP

      Yeah.

    19. AP

      And then I, like, "Oh, it's time to go home 'cause my laptop needs charging"-

    20. AP

      Yeah

    21. AP

      ... "and then I go."

    22. AP

      So this hack is dependent on you remembering to remember [laughs] to charge your laptop.

    23. AP

      To charge the laptop, exactly. But it's true. If you have two hours left on your laptop, you're like, "Right, this needs..." You know, you're-Allowing yourself only two hours, which means that you can sort of have a short burst, 'cause otherwise you could hyperfocus and be in the cafe all night probably and work too much, which is a problem. So you're giving yourself, like, a little window. Think you need that, don't you?

    24. AP

      Yeah, it really amplifies the hyperfocus when you know you only have a certain amount of time until your laptop literally runs out of battery-

    25. AP

      Yeah

    26. AP

      ... to the point where if someone, a friend sees you in the coffee shop and taps you on the shoulder and be like, "Alex, hey, how are you?" And you know you've got 45 minutes left before your battery turns off [laughs]

    27. AP

      Yeah

    28. AP

      ... you're like, "Leave me alone"

    29. AP

      Yeah

    30. AP

      "I've got a deadline to meet"

  6. 13:06 – 14:23

    The task finisher hack

    1. AP

      number eight, complete a task before your favorite song finishes.

    2. AP

      Yeah, self-explanatory really.

    3. AP

      Yeah

    4. AP

      You know, we've all got little tasks that are... we're procrastinating over. Ugh, I just can't be bothered to empty the dishwasher. I can't be bothered to Hoover the flat. I can't be bothered to pick up my floor robe and sort out my clothes. But if you just put on a song, your favorite song, whatever that is, Christina Carpenter-

    5. AP

      Mm-hmm

    6. AP

      ... Beyonce, Bruno Mars, Eminem, whatever it is, you know-

    7. AP

      Mm-hmm

    8. AP

      ... that probably gives you about three and a half minutes to, to... It gamifies it. It, like, says, "Right, I've got three and a half minutes." You've got your best bop on, you're happy, and nine times out of 10, I swear it helps you get over that procrastination hump, and it gives you that deadline. Again, it fires up that adrenaline, and it makes it fun.

    9. AP

      Yeah. Well, another alternative is not only your favorite song, but maybe favorite episode of ADHD Chatter.

    10. AP

      Yeah. And I c- it's not Christina Carpenter, is it? It's Sabrina Carpenter.

    11. AP

      Yeah.

    12. AP

      Yeah. But it shows my, yeah, my knowledge. [laughs]

    13. AP

      Well, Christina Carpenter might be someone else.

    14. AP

      Christina Carpenter. It's, it's-

    15. AP

      She might be, like, a smaller artist

    16. AP

      ... yeah, if, if Christina Carpenter is listening and you've, you know, you've just... You're very good, and you help me get through my songs.

    17. AP

      Yeah. Christina, she sounds like she could be very talented, but don't send your music here 'cause it's not gonna be listened to or used.

    18. AP

      [laughs]

    19. AP

      Uh, right. So number seven,

  7. 14:23 – 16:40

    ‘To do list’ VS backlog

    1. AP

      to-do list versus backlog.

    2. AP

      So most people listening or watching will have the idea of a to-do list-

    3. AP

      Yeah

    4. AP

      ... but it's so easy to confuse your to-do list with your backlog list. You should only ever have three things on your to-do list, no more than three.

    5. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    6. AP

      And that's the mistake people trip up on. They put everything on their to-do list, and then they wonder why they get so overwhelmed when they look at this list with 15 things on it, and it sort of puts them into paralysis, and they end up doing not a lot.

    7. AP

      Hmm.

    8. AP

      Like, your backlog is, is kind of everything that comes into your head. Oh, I need to go shopping. Oh, I need to renew the car insurance. Oh, I need to clean the dishes. Like, all of these little things, they all, they all go on your backlog. And then you transfer some over to your to-do list, but there's no more than... there's never ever, ever more than three things on your to-do list.

    9. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    10. AP

      And when you just have three things on your to-do list, it makes it a lot less overwhelming to actually get the things done.

    11. AP

      Right. Yeah. So it's all about sort of beating a overwhelm, making it sort of bite size.

    12. AP

      Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it time and time again, people have this huge to-do list that is, like, longer than the Great Wall of China, and it's no wonder that you look at it and you have no idea where to start. You can't order them in any form of priority, and you just kind of go, "Ugh," and default back to maybe doom scrolling on the sofa, and you procrastinate, and nothing gets done.

    13. AP

      Hmm.

    14. AP

      But if you just have, like, no more than three things on your to-do list at any given time-

    15. AP

      Yeah

    16. AP

      ... it makes it so much easier to visualize, like, actually starting one of them and, and getting through them. And then when you knock one off, you can then go to your backlog list and move one from your backlog onto your main to-do list.

    17. AP

      Yeah.

    18. AP

      So just keeping those two things separately, your to-do list and your backlog separate, really creates this, this almost shield against the overwhelm.

    19. AP

      That's good advice. Really good advice. I was just thinking the Great Wall of China, imagine having that on your to-do list. [laughs]

    20. AP

      Yeah. Each brick is a-

    21. AP

      Yeah

    22. AP

      ... is a task.

    23. AP

      God. Yeah, yeah. Um, that's a good one. Okay. That's number seven. So this one's really interesting, and it doesn't make much sense to me, so you're gonna have to explain it 'cause I can't, I can't, um, understand what it means, but it's an interesting one. [laughs] Number

  8. 16:40 – 20:07

    Slower mornings, not earlier mornings

    1. AP

      six, slower mornings, not earlier mornings.

    2. AP

      The worst advice for people with ADHD, and it's something I see on social media and LinkedIn all the time, is to be more productive, you need to get up earlier.

    3. AP

      God, yeah.

    4. AP

      And people with ADHD don't need to get up earlier. No matter what time we wake up, we are sluggish. We have brain fog. We are slow because it takes the ADHD brain time to accumulate dopamine-

    5. AP

      Hmm

    6. AP

      ... and stack up enough dopamine in order to do progressively tougher tasks.

    7. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    8. AP

      So to assume that you're gonna wake up earlier will solve the problem is just nonsense. You need to wake up slower, and this again, the dopamine menu can come in handy here. Knowing what you're gonna do and in what order when you get out of bed to incrementally give your brain dopamine, that will slowly progress you onto the more challenging task later on in the day. Like, wake up, perhaps make the bed. That's a slow task that should give you a little bit of dopamine. Brush your teeth, again, the same thing. Walk into the kitchen. I think it's about really slowing the pace down and recognizing that you need to really start the day with, with really small, slow tasks.

    9. AP

      Hmm.

    10. AP

      Enjoy the dopamine that those give you, and then use that dopamine to do the harder tasks that will follow.

    11. AP

      So you don't think happiness lies at 5:00 AM, cold plunges, and ice baths?

    12. AP

      Sounds bloody dreadful to me. No-

    13. AP

      Yeah

    14. AP

      ... I mean, I, I think... I, I don't, I honestly haven't met a single successful person in my whole life, let alone in my business career, who wakes up at 5:00 AM and jumps into an ice bath, and gets into the gym at 5:30 AM, has their second coffee at 6:00, gets into the office at 7:30. Like, it's all nonsense.

    15. AP

      Mm.

    16. AP

      It doesn't make any sense. It's almost like you're torturing yourself in trying to maintain this perfect routine that some guru who's probably trying to sell a course on how to be a successful businessperson-

    17. AP

      Mm-hmm

    18. AP

      ... or how to be more productive is selling.

    19. AP

      Mm.

    20. AP

      Um, and I think it lacks self-awareness. I think, for sure, it might work for a few people, but it's not about, like, waking up early and trying to cram in so many things in a perfect order. It's about waking up when you want, when you can, and really realizing that you need to start slow. Because the ADHD brain needs to start slow, because it wakes up and it is foggy, it is dopamine depleted. If anything, it wants to stay in bed. You just need to start... The first task you d- you do in the morning needs to be so small. Like, for me, I- I get up and I... The first thing I do is I make my bed. Like, it- it's such a simple thing, but it just gives me that little bit of dopamine that enables me to then brush my teeth, which gives me more dopamine, which enables me to go upstairs, which enables me to have a cup of coffee, which gives me slightly more dopamine. And before you know it, the momentum has built and I'm sat on my laptop or I'm out walking my dog. And you've got to start slow, building dopamine up incrementally to give yourself the best chance of almost building that runway that will enable you to, to go along it and build up that momentum to give you a productive day.

    21. AP

      Okay. Right. We're in the top five, so things are really

  9. 20:07 – 21:24

    Tiimo advert

    1. AP

      heating up.

    2. AP

      My sincerest apologies for interrupting your hyperfocus, but a quick word from our sponsor. Like many in the new year, we want to turn over a new leaf, looking to be more productive, more organized, and never late. Well, Tiimo app is here to help. Tiimo wasn't named app of the year in 2025 for no reason. It's the ultimate planning partner, gently guiding you towards busting your day-to-day chores list. The important difference is Tiimo is designed by neurodivergent brains for neurodivergent brains, and you can tell. It's built to adapt to your neurodivergent way of thinking and be flexible to your way of planning, and now it's even more simple with the AI planning assistant. Tiimo offers an incredible new voice transcribing service, making it even easier to use. It's almost so simple that it feels like a cheat code to play life on easy mode. Give it a go and use the link in my bio for 30% off. Just a note though, this code is only applicable on the web browser, not the smartphone. Back to the episode. These are ones I actually wish I knew when I was a lot younger, but I'm glad that I'm able to share them now.

    3. AP

      Yeah, 'cause you put the work in, haven't you? Just compiling a list of things that have worked for you that will work for other people, if they're willing to employ them. So five,

  10. 21:24 – 23:54

    Just one dish

    1. AP

      just one dish.

    2. AP

      Just one dish is using an example of emptying your dishwasher, but the same theory applies to anything in your life. It's, again, you look at the dishwasher as a task you've got to do, emptying it, quite overwhelming. It's gonna take a lot of time. I'm gonna have to put all of the cutlery away in its right places, all of the plates away in its right places, all of the pans away-

    3. AP

      Ugh

    4. AP

      ... in their right places, and before you know it, you're just, like, avoiding that task. It's too much.

    5. AP

      Yeah.

    6. AP

      I don't have the dopamine to start it. But you tell yourself, like, rather than doing the whole task, all of that boring stuff, just one plate. Just pick up one plate.

    7. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    8. AP

      You tell yourself you don't even need to put it away.

    9. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    10. AP

      You just need to take the plate out of the dishwasher and put it on the side.

    11. AP

      Mm.

    12. AP

      Like, because it's almost like tricking your brain into convincing yourself that it's a, it's a really small task. And again, it's like that habit stacking, it's that dopamine stacking. Getting a plate out of the dishwasher and putting it on the side, n- nine times out of 10, you're gonna go all or nothing. You'll enter all or nothing mode, and you'll be like, "Oh, right. I'm gonna do the whole dishwasher now, and I'm actually gonna do it really well."

    13. AP

      Mm.

    14. AP

      It's just, it's just getting over that procrastination hump of, of thinking, "This is gonna be dreadful," to saying, "Actually, no, just getting one plate out, that's easy." But when you get that plate out, suddenly doing the rest is really easy too.

    15. AP

      Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's good advice. There's nothing worse than a dishwasher, is there? It's so annoying, 'cause you just wanna unpack it really, really fast, but you also can't smash anything. It'd be great just to sort of pour it into, like, a- another sort of just one drawer. Maybe that hack should be just called just one drawer.

    16. AP

      One drawer, yeah. [laughs]

    17. AP

      And you just pour it in.

    18. AP

      I think it was, um, Rory Sutherland-

    19. AP

      Yeah

    20. AP

      ... wasn't it?

    21. AP

      He made a great point.

    22. AP

      He said, like, why do we empty our dishwashers?

    23. AP

      Yeah.

    24. AP

      Like, you're literally taking stuff out of the dishwasher, which is all effectively-

    25. AP

      Yeah

    26. AP

      ... already put away. It's just in the dishwasher.

    27. AP

      Yeah.

    28. AP

      Why are we putting it in the cupboards? Just take the fr- the clean stuff out of the dishwasher when you want to use it.

    29. AP

      He said that dishwashers aren't to wash dishes, they're to hide dirty dishes, which I thought was really good.

    30. AP

      Uh, uh-

  11. 23:54 – 25:32

    Scary hour

    1. AP

      Scary hour. What the hell does that mean?

    2. AP

      Scary hour. So we've all got things on our to... Maybe they're on our to-do list, maybe they're on our backlog list, things that are just like, "That is giving me zero dopamine. I'm really, really struggling to get started." Maybe that's renewing your car insurance. Maybe that's paying that parking ticket. Things that will just never get done unless we, like, really intentionally designate one hour per day-To things that we think are scary. Like, those, that, that, there I would classify those as scary tasks.

    3. AP

      Yeah

    4. AP

      Things that give us nothing. And we say, "Okay, I'm gonna give one hour per day to tick off the scary tasks" And as soon as that hour finishes, you drop. You stop doing anything, and anything that's kind of like incomplete, it just carries on to the next day, and then you carry on. So if it takes, like, I don't know, two hours to renew your car insurance, because these-

    5. AP

      Mm

    6. AP

      ... things take time, you don't try and finish it in one day. You just do it in the scary hour. If, if the hour runs out, you drop it, you carry on the next day. It kind of rolls over.

    7. AP

      Cool.

    8. AP

      So it's just, like, just designating one hour per day to things that, the really horrible tasks, the scary tasks that are just absolutely boring.

    9. AP

      Wow. See, I thought scary hour was letting your spouse go through your internet history for an hour.

    10. AP

      [laughs] Gosh, yeah.

    11. AP

      [laughs] But that makes a lot more sense given that it's a hack episode.

    12. AP

      All she would, all, all they would see is just [laughs] ADHD-

    13. AP

      ADHD

    14. AP

      ... research.

    15. AP

      Yeah, exactly. Yeah

    16. AP

      How to-

    17. AP

      Yeah. Exactly

    18. AP

      ... how to be a better podcast host.

    19. AP

      There would be such a disappointment. Yeah. [laughs]

    20. AP

      New ADHD research. Yeah, it would be very disappointment. [laughs]

    21. AP

      [laughs] Okay, number three, top three. So the bronze medal goes

  12. 25:32 – 30:43

    RSD bracelet

    1. AP

      to RSD bracelet.

    2. AP

      So unfortunately, most people listening and watching will recognize the term RSD. It stands for Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. I've written a whole book on the subject. Um, it's such a big thing that's, that holds so many of us back. It, it creates this irrational fear that everyone hates you a million times a day for no other reason other than you've sensed someone's tone of voice is slightly off, or someone's got a slightly heavier footstep or whatever.

    3. AP

      What? Have you written a new book?

    4. AP

      [laughs]

    5. AP

      About RSD?

    6. AP

      I have, I have.

    7. AP

      [laughs]

    8. AP

      Yeah. It's, it's, you can pre-order it now.

    9. AP

      [laughs]

    10. AP

      It's called Why Does Everybody Hate Me? Living and Loving with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

    11. AP

      Yeah.

    12. AP

      It's the book I wish I could read to my younger self.

    13. AP

      Yeah.

    14. AP

      Honestly. And it's, um, one of the key strategies in that book is, like, when you are triggered, when, when someone says something to you that you've taken personally, when your boss asks you for a quick chat on a Monday morning without any context, and you instantly catastrophize and you think the world's gonna end.

    15. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    16. AP

      Um, or your friend says they're too busy to see you and, and you think that they hate you and your entire existence is a nuisance to them, and you fill up with this internalized sadness or rage.

    17. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    18. AP

      But shame. Like, that's the thing. Like, every time it's this crippling shame. And the hack is, like, to have a list of your positives on you at all times. Like, a s- it could literally be a, a, a physical list, a, a bit of paper in your pocket that... And we can't, like, not be a bit arrogant here. Like, so many people with ADHD really struggle with self-esteem and truly believe that they are terrible human beings, heartbreakingly.

    19. AP

      Yeah.

    20. AP

      And I think some people feel really uncomfortable at, about writing down a list of their positives and their qualities because they think, "Why should I do that? I don't deserve to... I don't have any."

    21. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    22. AP

      But we do. Everyone does. Like, y- you're, you're creative, or you're a great problem solver, or you're a great friend, or you are a great musician, or you're a great sports person, whatever it is, like, you all, all have positives. So you really have to really think about the positives, write them down, so when you are triggered, when you feel that intense emotional pain, you can just reach for it, you can read it, and it instantly soothes that emotional reaction.

    23. AP

      Mm.

    24. AP

      And of course, it's not always, like, possible to have a list in your pocket. Um, sometimes what I find has really helped people in the past is you could have, like, a bracelet on your wrist, and you can wear this all the time, with charms on it, and each charm perhaps is a little logo or a reminder of something that you're good at. Like, if you're good at, if you're a musician, one of the charms could be, like, a saxophone. Or if you're great at maths, it could be a calculator, or if you're a great sports person, it could be a little running shoe. Um, whatever it is, or a heart to remind you how much of a good friend you are.

    25. AP

      Mm.

    26. AP

      So they're little things that will be quite ambiguous and incognito to the outside world, but when you're triggered, you can look down at your bracelet and see the charms, and they will remind you of your positives, which will bring you out of the extreme emotional response that, that many of us experience when we are triggered by RSD.

    27. AP

      That's a good one. Yeah, that's quite nice, isn't it? See, I think having a list of my qualities in my pocket isn't enough. I need there to be a list of my qualities in everyone's pocket.

    28. AP

      [laughs]

    29. AP

      [laughs] And then I can sleep at night.

    30. AP

      [laughs]

  13. 30:43 – 31:39

    Blink for one minute

    1. AP

      medal. Blink for one minute

    2. AP

      So bear with me, let me explain, because I thought this was nonsense when I first saw it, but there's this whole body of new research that says-- that has just come out that explains that if you struggle to sleep, which so many people with ADHD do-

    3. AP

      Mm-hmm

    4. AP

      ... if you're lying in bed and you're feeling restless, if you blink really, really fast for a minute, it actually hijacks your nervous system, and it tricks your body into thinking that you're ready for bed. It literally fatigues the muscles in your eyes, which sends signals to your brain that releases chemicals that enters you into sleep mode, and many people have reported that it, it really helps with, with, with falling asleep when you otherwise might be lying in bed all night unable to fall asleep.

    5. AP

      That's pretty cool. [laughs]

    6. AP

      [laughs]

    7. AP

      All right. Number one, the gold medal.

  14. 31:39 – 39:35

    Check your tribe

    1. AP

      Check your tribe

    2. AP

      So closing advice really, I mean, it's, it's-- I call it a hack, really it's general advice. It's like we're so used to just hanging out with the same people sometimes, the same colleagues, the same friends, and we often forget that it's good to check, like, who these people are and that we're not hanging out with assholes. Um, and, you know, the biggest determination of success with anyone, ADHD or not, is a self-belief that you can do something. The people who truly believe that they can do something and truly believe that they can't do something are always right. Like, there's loads of research that backs that up, and one of the biggest factors in determining our self-belief is the messaging that we're getting from the external world. Like, people that are around us, are they encouraging us or are they discouraging us?

    3. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    4. AP

      When we go to somebody and we say we've got this new idea, are they dismissing your idea? Are they giving you an eye roll or are they saying, "That's fantastic. Go for it"? The point is to really check in on your inner circle from time to time and to make sure that you're not kind of coasting through and actually the people that you're surrounding yourself with are draining your energy and draining your confidence and draining your self-belief rather than doing the opposite-

    5. AP

      Mm-hmm

    6. AP

      ... which is filling your cup, making you feel like you can do something. So I think this is really important to just remind yourself that we're not hanging around with people that we're-- we, we feel like we need to mask in front of. We feel that if we suggest something that is a passion of ours, it's gonna be met with an eye roll. We wanna just double-check all the time that the people we're spending our time with are people that are actually feeding us rather than draining us. Because ultimately, we become a product of the people and the environment that we put ourselves in, and, and many of us, I think, sometimes just don't take stock sometimes that the-- what is watering us is, is, is, is water and it's not some kind of toxin. Um, and the result often is that it kind of perpetuates this, this inner voice that so many of us have, which is that we're, we're useless and that we can't.

    7. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    8. AP

      When in fact we wanna make sure that what, what is entering us is water and that we are going against that internal self-belief. Um, and just to take stock of the people that are around you and make sure that they're giving you energy rather than draining it.

    9. AP

      Mm-hmm. I guess that's particularly important, especially early in two thousand and twenty-six, if someone has, like, I don't know, like, dietary goals or not wanting to drink as much alcohol, you don't wanna be surrounded by people who are saying, "Oh, why? Just have a drink," or that sort of thing. It's that sort of... You learn a lot about your friends when you enforce those boundaries, don't you?

    10. AP

      Absolutely. And, and the, the older you get, the more you realize who you really are and what you're willing to tolerate, what's healthy for you, what's not healthy for you, what direction you generally want to go in in life. And it's absolutely fine if you look around and you realize that the people who were-- you were friends with maybe, like, last year or five years ago or ten years ago, whatever, they're not right for you now. I think it's easy to just coast through and assume, "Well, they've been my friend for ten years, I-- therefore, I should be friends with them for life."

    11. AP

      Mm-hmm.

    12. AP

      But not if that person hasn't grown with you-

    13. AP

      Yeah

    14. AP

      ... not if they've, uh, not if they haven't evolved with you, if they haven't got healthier like you want to do. Because again, subconsciously, they could be pulling you in an unhealthy direction. I mean, your example is perfect. Like, if, if you are someone who drank a lot and you wanna stop, y- the people you surround yourself should be encouraging you to, to stop. They should say, "Go to that meeting. Come out, have a non-alcoholic drink." If they're the type of person who's saying, "Oh, why are you not doing that?" Like, "What's wrong with you?" Then, you know, it's just a little stock check that perhaps, uh, either a conversation needs to happen or you need to just face the, the, the hard truth sometimes that maybe you've outgrown that person.

    15. AP

      Mm-hmm. And I guess it's also important that you be that friend to someone else and be supportive of what they wanna achieve.

    16. AP

      Yeah. People gravitate over time into groups that have evolved at the same pace that they have. So if you've gone through your unmasking journey and you now realize that the person that you thought you were isn't in alignment with who the you-- who you want to be, like, there's no shame in recognizing that therefore the friends that your masked version was friends with no longer fit your current purpose.

    17. AP

      Yeah.

    18. AP

      And just taking stock of the energy that you're getting from the people you're surrounding yourself with. Because if you're surrounding yourself with one particular person or a group of people often, and they're not right for you and they're pulling you in the wrong direction, that's gonna significantly alter the, the outcome of, of where you want to be in life.

    19. AP

      Yeah. That's good advice. And on that note, I'm resigning from ADHD Shadow Council. [laughs]

    20. AP

      [laughs] Come on, just one drink at the pub.

    21. AP

      Yeah. [laughs]

    22. AP

      We're both sober.

    23. AP

      Yeah.

    24. AP

      So-

    25. AP

      God, yeahWell, that was a whirlwind

    26. AP

      Yeah

    27. AP

      I feel much more productive already, and I've done none of them yet [laughs]

    28. AP

      [laughs] Well, [laughs] by this time next year, you could have started and scaled a multi-million pound business off the back of that

    29. AP

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which one helped you the most when you were starting up your businesses?

    30. AP

      Just say no. Start with no, and that's the one that helps me the most today still

Episode duration: 39:36

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