CHAPTERS
ADHD trait spotlight: struggling to accept compliments
Alex frames an experience he believes many people with ADHD share: finding compliments hard to believe or internalize. He sets it up as one of the most annoying ADHD-related patterns for him.
The trigger event: becoming a #1 Sunday Times bestseller
He recounts discovering his RSD book reached number one on the Sunday Times bestseller list. The achievement is presented as clear, objective evidence of success.
Others celebrate, but pride doesn’t show up
People message him with congratulations and encouragement, expecting pride and satisfaction. His internal reaction is unexpectedly flat: he doesn’t feel proud.
Accomplishment replaced by exhaustion and relief
Instead of reward or joy, he describes feeling depleted and simply relieved the process is over. Success feels like the end of a stressful ordeal rather than a positive milestone.
“Faulty positive reinforcement”: success doesn’t register
Alex characterizes his brain’s reward system as miscalibrated—positive reinforcement doesn’t “land.” The completion of tasks feels like survival, not celebration.
Discounting praise: assuming people are just being nice
He explains that he tends to distrust congratulations, interpreting them as politeness rather than genuine recognition. Even when praise is warranted, he struggles to believe it’s real.
Even objective evidence feels unreal
Despite the measurable proof of success, he still doubts its legitimacy. He jokes that even the bestseller list feels like it’s “being nice,” underscoring how deep the disbelief runs.
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