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The Diary of a CEOThe Diary of a CEO

World Leading Therapist: 3 Simple Steps To Remove Your Negative Thoughts: Marisa Peer | E154

This episode is part of our USA series, over the coming weeks you will get to see some incredible conversations with guests the likes of which we’ve never seen before. Bringing more value, more incredible stories, and more world-beating expertise. Marissa Peer is a world-leading therapist who specialises in helping people discover their best self, who doubles as a speaker, therapy trainer, and multiple best-selling author of You Are Enough, Tell Yourself a Better Lie and Ultimate Confidence. Topics: 0:00 Intro 01:33 Your early years 08:18 Your teachers & techniques 10:58 Stories are what cause us problems 21:36 People living in ignorant bliss 25:09 The Increase in mental health issues 26:28 People putting themselves down 30:50 How do you default to optimism 34:08 Rewiring your thoughts 41:05 Using words to change your actions 43:23 Heartbreak cases 48:00 Mistakes parents make 50:55 Come with a question rather than judgement 54:15 Taking responsibility 59:25 I know who I want to be but I still go against it 01:06:33 Your triple A process 01:11:19 The last guest question Marisa: https://twitter.com/MarisaPeer Marisa’s book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09PRMSBGV/ Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-diary-of-a-ceo-by-steven-bartlett/id1291423644 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT7XGuZSzAMjoNWlX FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-bartlett-56986834/ Sponsors: Huel - https://my.huel.com/Steven Craftd - https://bit.ly/3JKOPFx Vodafone Business - https://bit.ly/3NIM35n https://bit.ly/3AuPKsA

Marisa PeerguestSteven Bartletthost
Jun 23, 20221h 17mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. 4:00 – 13:00

    Marisa’s Childhood: Feeling ‘Different’ and Learning Human Psychology Early

    Marisa Peer describes growing up with an unfulfilled, often ill mother and an intellectually driven father who was more invested in other people’s children than his own. Feeling overlooked between a ‘clever’ brother and ‘beautiful’ sister, she internalized a belief that she wasn’t enough, while a supportive grandmother provided a crucial counterweight of belief. These experiences gave her early insight into what it means to feel different and disconnected despite an outwardly ‘normal’ family.

  2. 13:00 – 25:30

    From Art Dreams to Hypnotherapy: Discovering Rapid Transformation

    Peer recounts her early desire to be an artist, family pressure to become a teacher, and eventual move to LA where she worked for Jane Fonda in the fitness industry. Seeing eating disorders and body dysmorphia mishandled as purely physical or dietary issues led her to study hypnotherapy with Gil Boyne. Over years of practice, client feedback about ‘the one thing’ that changed their lives helped her synthesize Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), aimed at giving ER-style speed to emotional healing.

  3. 25:30 – 35:30

    Stories We Inherit: Childhood Beliefs, ‘Not Enough,’ and Fast Reframing

    This section delves into how children adopt other people’s stories—parents’, teachers’, relatives’—and convert them into personal truths such as ‘I’m a disappointment’ or ‘I should have been a boy.’ Peer explains that kids stop loving themselves rather than their caregivers when needs aren’t met. By revisiting key childhood scenes and examining them with an adult brain, clients can see that their long-held ‘truths’ were misunderstandings, allowing rapid belief shifts and behavior change.

  4. 35:30 – 45:00

    How RTT Works: Detective, Dentist, and Coder of the Mind

    Peer outlines the core mechanics of Rapid Transformational Therapy by comparing the therapist’s roles to detective, dentist, and coder. Instead of asking ‘what’s wrong with you,’ she investigates ‘what happened to you,’ uses regression and questioning to uncover the root purpose of symptoms, then extracts toxic beliefs and installs new ones. She emphasizes that every behavior has a role—comfort, protection, connection—and long-term change requires addressing that role rather than merely suppressing symptoms.

  5. 45:00 – 54:00

    Depression, Disconnection, and the Cost of Self-Criticism

    The conversation turns to rising rates of depression and anxiety, which Peer attributes largely to harsh self-talk, social disconnection, and ignoring one’s true desires. She critiques a culture that normalizes self-disparagement and pessimism as humility or protection from disappointment. By consciously choosing ‘better lies’—uplifting stories about oneself, as Muhammad Ali did—people can harness the mind’s tendency to make repeated beliefs real.

  6. 54:00 – 1:04:00

    Thought–Feeling–Behavior Loops and Redefining Self-Identity

    Peer maps how thoughts create feelings, which trigger behaviors, which reinforce the original thoughts. She and Steven discuss how core beliefs like ‘relationships are prison’ or ‘I’m always late’ form from childhood experiences and then govern adult choices until examined. By deliberately adopting new identities (‘I cope phenomenally,’ ‘I am enough’) and repeating them, people gradually behave in line with these upgraded definitions.

  7. 1:04:00 – 1:12:00

    The Power of Words: Labels, Stories, and Rewriting Roles

    Here Peer explores how one word change can unlock life decisions, illustrated by a woman who stopped calling her abusive partner a ‘good husband’ and instead labeled him a ‘good provider.’ Recognizing the difference allowed her to leave. She urges people to replace minimizing or negative phrasing with accurate, empowering language and to see their life as many possible ‘parts,’ not just the one they learned in childhood.

  8. 1:12:00 – 1:19:00

    Parenting, Children’s Feelings, and Giving Kids a Voice

    Peer discusses common parenting mistakes, especially telling children not to feel or invalidating their reactions (‘Don’t cry,’ ‘That didn’t hurt’). She advocates instead for acknowledging feelings, asking curious questions, and allowing children to argue and express themselves so they can later assert boundaries with peers and adults. She shares stories of helping a boy stand up to an abusive father and teaching her own daughter to talk about shoplifting, drugs, and difficult emotions openly.

  9. 1:19:00 – 1:27:00

    Responsibility, Self-Esteem, and Healthy Adult Relationships

    Moving into adult dynamics, Peer and Bartlett explore how low self-esteem fuels defensiveness, blame, and perfectionism, while robust self-worth allows people to admit mistakes and repair. Concepts like ‘flawsome’ (being happily flawed) and the practice of asking, ‘What’s the story I’m telling myself?’ help couples defuse misinterpretations. Being heard and having feelings acknowledged are framed as central human needs for significance and worth.

  10. 1:27:00 – 1:34:30

    Food, Cravings, and Evolutionary Wiring: Why You Eat the Pringles

    Bartlett raises his struggle with eating junk food despite knowing better, and Peer explains how our evolutionary wiring favors sugar, fat, and finishing what’s available due to ancient feast–famine patterns. She criticizes the shame-based diet industry and emphasizes that our response to food is heavily driven by internal images and associations. Changing those pictures and words—as with seeing Coke as ‘black oil’—can make certain foods naturally unappealing without white-knuckle willpower.

  11. 1:34:30 – 1:44:30

    AAA for Difficult Feelings and Three Rules of the Mind

    Peer introduces her AAA framework—Aware, Accept, Articulate—to process challenging emotions instead of numbing them. She then distills her understanding of the mind into three core principles: feelings follow pictures and words; the mind returns to what’s familiar and avoids the unfamiliar; and the mind does what it thinks you want. Applied consistently, these principles allow people to recondition their responses, shift habits, and pursue what they genuinely desire.

  12. 1:44:30

    Curing ‘Not Enough’: The I Am Enough Movement and Closing Reflections

    In the final segment, Peer answers a question from the previous guest about being ‘experienced’ and reflects on how decades of therapy work revealed a common denominator: almost everyone believes they’re not enough. She shares how this insight led to her ‘I Am Enough’ movement and her commitment to simplifying therapy so that change feels accessible. Bartlett closes by crediting her ideas with influencing his own book and helping him overcome childhood insecurity.

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