TONY ROBBINS: If You Want to CHANGE Your Life This Year, Do THIS 3 Step Process…

Jay Shetty 0:00 [dramatic music] Tony, I wanna start with, you know, with you there's so many things we can talk about, and you've been doing this work for decades. I feel like your ability to learn what's at the root of things is, is second to none. It's so powerful for you to know. And I feel today, since even when you started, people are still stuck. The thing I hear the most is, "I'm stuck in a relationship," "I'm stuck in a dead-end job."

Tony Robbins 0:50 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:50 "I'm stuck in life, and I feel like I can't move. I don't know what I need to do." What's the first thing people need to do if they feel stuck?

Tony Robbins 0:59 They've gotta make some decisions, right? I mean, and what stops people making decisions, you and I know, what is this fear? People are afraid of making the wrong decision, fear of not being perfect, fear of the consequences of their decisions. But, uh, let's, let's chunk it up a little bit. What do people really want? We started out [laughs] we were all here created by something. I, I like God as the term, some people like the universe. I, I'm not here to argue with that whatsoever, but we have to agree that something created us, and that something gave us choices, and choices are how we create. We co-create our, basically our lives. It's not your conditions, it's your decisions that determine the quality of your life. I had pretty rough [laughs] conditions growing up, to say the least, but I turned those into good conditions because of a mindset, because of certain psychology, because of certain decisions. And if you think about your life, most people are stressed because they... Stress is usually measured by how much you feel you control events versus events control you.

Jay Shetty 1:52 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 1:52 The more you feel events are controlling you, the more overwhelmed you feel, the more stress, the more anxiety, the more fear. And we live in a culture where mental health is at r-record lows [laughs] in terms of quality and happiness and joy and fulfillment, and depression and anxiety are through the roof. And it's not because the world is so much more stressful. It's because the way we

Tony Robbins 2:10 process the world. We have more information coming at us at, than any time in history, obviously. We're drowning in information, we're starving for wisdom. But in order to go from being stressed to not, we understand that the... I think the single most important tool is decision making. Because I, I think that's been the skill that took me from, you know, [laughs] barely surviving in a family that had tremendous pain and tremendous, um, angst, was to be the nicest word to say, and no finances, and four different fathers, and a lot of physical and emotional abuse, to being able to serve literally hundreds of millions and billions of people. It's been decisions along the way. So if you look at your own life, yours, mine, anyone's life, anyone listening or watching, you have to be honest and say, "I'm a creator, and if I don't like what I have, I've gotten here by the decisions that have created that." And now look, there's lots of little decisions we make all day long, and I know you talk about decisions. I'm writing a whole book on it right now. Um, and most people, m- you know, don't understand that most decisions are easy to change, right? You know, I think, uh, I think you give an example. I, I give the example of Bezos as well as Amazon, and type2 decisions are the ones you can change very easily. Type1 are significant. Like, they're gonna be hard to change. Focusing on those big decisions is really important in life, but I think most people, they're afraid, and then the second thing is they think they don't have enough information, which is really just fear again. Because, you know, I, I wrote an entire book where I interviewed 50 of the most incredible financial people in the world. All people who started with nothing and became billionaires. The best investors in history. The Ray Dalios, the Carl Icahns, the Warren Buffets. And one of the things I learned over and over again from them is the smartest people usually are terrible investors.

Jay Shetty 3:45 Interesting.

Tony Robbins 3:45 I said, "How can that be?"

Jay Shetty 3:46 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 3:46 And they said, "Because the smartest people wanna know everything before they decide."

Jay Shetty 3:50 Mm.

Tony Robbins 3:50 "And if you wait till you know everything, the opportunity's gone." And that's true not just in finance, I think that's true in life.

Jay Shetty 3:56 Yes.

Tony Robbins 3:56 Right? We wait till we have absolute certainty. There's no absolute certainty in life. The only absolute certainty is faith. You know, it's like how do you drive down a street with nothing but a yellow line [laughs] separating you from crazies coming, driving at you at 65 miles an hour, and every single day in every country in the world, in every city in the world, someone will cross that line and kill someone 'cause they were drunk, 'cause they fell asleep, 'cause they're texting. And yet, how do you get out there every day without fear and do it? You use a gift that God gave us. It's called faith. It's not what you learned faith. I'm not talking about a religion. I'm talking the capacity to see beyond the present moment-

Jay Shetty 4:29 Wow

Tony Robbins 4:29 ... and have a sense of certainty, right? And so why do you do it? Because the alternative [laughs] is to live at home and do nothing. Go back to the COVID days and be trapped, right? We know what that did to people psychologically and emotionally, because they felt completely at the effect of things. So the fastest way to change your life is start making some real decisions, and I know it's hard initially. Um, the other part is, is just, uh, the more you make decisions, the more decision-making muscles you get. You know what I mean? It's like you barely... Some people have weak decision-making muscles. They, uh... You ever been to a dinner with somebody or a group of people and there's always one person-

Jay Shetty 5:01 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 5:02 ... that's hanging on to the last moment, still can't decide, and you see the waiter or waitress trying to be nice, and you can see them kinda losing their patience?

Jay Shetty 5:07 It's my worst nightmare.

Tony Robbins 5:08 Right? It's like, "Just freaking decide. Help this lady out," right? And they finally decide. Well, some- that's the habit of a lot of people. And if, if they can't make a decision on what to eat for dinner tonight-

Jay Shetty 5:17 Yeah

Tony Robbins 5:17 ... how are they gonna make a life decision, right? So the first step is to make some. Maybe make some small ones that you can do and get some momentum. But the more decisions you make, the faster it gets. I think the whole idea that I have to make the right decision, uh, is, is, is, is the wrong way to look at it. My whole view has been not deciding is the worst decision, right?

Jay Shetty 5:36 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 5:36 I need to consciously decide if I don't wanna feel like things are affecting me, if I'm gonna shape my world, I make a decision. And if I'm wrong, I'll find out quicker. I, I'll give you a real-life example. I, uh, I don't know if you remember General Schwarzkopf. I got to know him pretty well. Those who are younger probably don't even remember his name, but the first war that was done over, you know, in, um, with Iran, I guess, basically, or with Iraq rather, um, he ran the, the Allied Forces. And he was a brilliant guy. And you-He was very powerful. He could talk to guys that were from the barrio, and he could talk to guys from Princeton incredibly well, and a really love, lovely human being. But I asked him what the most important skill was of a leader, and he said decision-making, which I agreed with obviously. And I said, "Well, what do you think keys to making decisions?" And he said, "I'll tell you a story." So he told me the story. I'll tell you the short version of it briefly. When he was a private, he represented, uh, a general, and the Pentagon had worked for almost, I think he said more than a decade and a half analyzing this strategic decision they had to make. And there were people on both sides, and they argued it on both sides fully, so strongly that no one made a decision for over 10 years, and they knew they had to make the decision. If they didn't make it now, it could cost the country our security. It's a big decision. And so he, being the private, organized the team. They had to read all these volumes of material so they could summarize it, so the general would have the information. And he said then the meeting got pushed up, and even with a group of eight people, they could not gather all the information to fully summarize it. Meanwhile, the general's called overseas during this time when he should have been prepping. It wasn't his fault, but he had to deal with it. Flew back. The night before, they're loading up with all this information, and he didn't get back till 10 o'clock at night. The meeting was 8:00 in the morning, right? Most important decision in the Pentagon's history. It was how it was framed. He said he came in the meeting. He said, "Give me your arguments." And one person stood up for 20 minutes and gave this full-blown argument, this is the direction to go. "All right, give me your argument." 20 minutes, full blast, their argument. He said, "Okay, do this." And they all saluted, and he walked out of the room. And he said, Schwarzkopf said he, he was a private, not a general, right, at that time, right? He said, "I don't know what the hell to do." He couldn't possibly know all this information. He couldn't possibly d- know what to do in this situation, and he was totally stressed by it. [laughs] And so he worked up enough courage to knock on the general's door and said, "General, permission to speak freely." He said, "At ease. At ease."

Tony Robbins 8:00 He goes, "General, I have worked on this for four weeks with eight people." I said, "You weren't even here last night. The, uh, this is one of the most important decisions ever. How could... I know you didn't have all the information. How could you possibly make that decision?" He said, "Young man, 'cause a decision needed to be made."

Jay Shetty 8:15 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 8:16 And he said, "And both sides are equally strong, so I picked the one I believe is right. If I'm wrong, we'll find out quicker. It won't take a decade, d- you know, 10 years to find out. And if I'm right, we'll continue. If I'm wrong, we'll make a shift." And he said it, he said it just was outside of his world. It was so simple. And then he told me one other one that I thought was really good. He said he was leaving one time, and he left him as a private in charge of things. He said, "You're in charge. You make these decisions. You do these things." I said, "General, General, um, I, I don't know. How do I know what to do?" He said, "Rule 13." He goes, "Rule 13, sir." And he's starting to go out the door, and he says, "What's rule 13?" [laughs] Couldn't figure out what rule 13 was. "When put in command, take charge."

Jay Shetty 8:55 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 8:55 He goes, "Okay." And he goes, "But, but how do I make the right decision?" He goes, "Rule 14." He goes, "Rule 14, sir? What's rule 14?" "Do what's right." Right?

Jay Shetty 9:05 [laughs] Yeah.

Tony Robbins 9:05 And those simple approaches, I think, can guide us, and I, I really believe decision-making is the most important thing. So if you don't like your body, change it. If you don't like your relationship, change it. Maybe change you first, otherwise you'll just trade people and have the same problems, right? You know, you don't like your, your career? Change it. But it, for things to get better, we gotta get better. For things to change, my teacher Jim Rohn said, "You gotta change," right? But it all begins with a decision. So maybe start with small decisions or maybe attack a big one, 'cause when you do, you get momentum, and by, by the way, it's only a decision if you act on it immediately. And so I have a rule that's like anytime I set a goal, anytime I make a decision, I make sure that within a few minutes of making it, I do something that commits me to follow through, 'cause here's the other problem. Have you ever done this? You ever made a decision, then not followed through?

Jay Shetty 9:52 Yeah. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 9:52 Why?

Jay Shetty 9:54 Uh, because I was... Maybe, maybe because I made a decision and I was uneasy about it afterwards, or there was some fear that crept in, or I didn't, I didn't have a plan to execute it, on it properly.

Tony Robbins 10:04 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 10:04 Maybe one of those.

Tony Robbins 10:05 All those are-

Jay Shetty 10:05 Yeah

Tony Robbins 10:05 ... all those are the typical answers-

Jay Shetty 10:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tony Robbins 10:07 ... so you're spot on in your experience.

Jay Shetty 10:08 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 10:08 But the biggest reason is people think decision is a one-step process, and I found it's three.

Jay Shetty 10:13 Mm.

Tony Robbins 10:13 Right? You can decide in the moment. The reason I make that commitment that when I'm in the moment, I do something that commits me when I leave that moment, you get in a state. You get inspired enough or you get pissed off enough, something moves you and say, "Not another day, not an hour. I'm changing this," right? But then when you leave that moment and you get caught up with s- some meeting or something with your family or something in your, your social media, email, or whatever it is, gradually you're in a different state, and then you don't follow through, and what you s- said is true. Something else comes up as you weren't prepared for, right? So a real decision, the word decision comes from incision in Latin, right? It means to cut off from. When you cut off any

Tony Robbins 10:50 other possibility except what you've committed to, you'll find the way. So I always tell people, if you wanna take the island, burn your boats. As long as your brain has a way out, it'll go back, and it's amazing what you'll do when there's no option to go back. Most of my career has been 'cause I had no net. I, you know, Serena Williams and I gotta turn around right now. She can't get on... Her sister died. She can't get on the USO, but she can't get on, stand up. She can't get up to do anything. Everybody knows I'm working with her. If I don't get her up, [laughs] the whole thing's over. I get her up. I turn the president around. I do whatever I've gotta do. E- no matter who it was, with no net, you find a way. So I think the biggest thing is once you decide, you wanna go to the second step is commit. In fact, I hear women say this to me all the time. I know you have a large female audience. They'll say, you know, "Men don't commit." And I said, "Has he even decided?"

Jay Shetty 11:36 Mm.

Tony Robbins 11:36 'Cause they're different steps.

Jay Shetty 11:38 Mm.

Tony Robbins 11:38 Women jump to commitment very quickly.

Jay Shetty 11:40 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 11:40 Men, not as quickly.

Jay Shetty 11:41 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 11:41 Right? And so deciding is like a war sometimes. You know, I, I gotta figure it out. Okay, I've decided. But then commitment, it's... I ask

Tony Robbins 11:50 your audience to ask them, what's the difference... Let me ask you, what's the difference between deciding and committing to you?

Jay Shetty 11:54 I feel like decide is I know which direction I wanna do, go in.

Tony Robbins 11:58 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 11:58 Commitment is I wanna stay in that direction for a long period of time.

Tony Robbins 12:01 Yes. You just added the, exactly what it is. A commitment takes it into the future. Decision is the moment, and that moment can change-

Jay Shetty 12:08 Mm

Tony Robbins 12:08 ... which is why so many people make a decision legitimately and don't follow through. That's why you need to take action immediately that commits you to follow through, meaning book the meetingEnroll in the class. You know, call the person and set it up. [laughs] Organize so you can have that conversation you haven't wanted to have, and put it on the calendar so that there's momentum going out of it. But then committing, deciding is really rough. Committing is not that rough, it's just creating enough compelling reasons-

Jay Shetty 12:34 Mm

Tony Robbins 12:34 ... to follow through even though it might be tough right now. But there's a third step, and after you decide and commit, there's resolve. What's the difference between decide and commit and resolve for you? What's the emotional difference?

Jay Shetty 12:47 Resolve to me, at least from the way I'm hearing it, is-

Tony Robbins 12:50 Just in your own experience

Jay Shetty 12:51 ... yeah, there's a sense of, I, I feel a sense of confidence that I made the right decision so I can recommit and reconnect, or I get a sense of now's the time to pivot.

Tony Robbins 13:02 Okay. Yes.

Jay Shetty 13:02 And so there's a resolution of-

Tony Robbins 13:03 Yes

Jay Shetty 13:03 ... am I, am I continuing down this road-

Tony Robbins 13:05 Yes

Jay Shetty 13:05 ... or are we gonna pivot?

Tony Robbins 13:06 Yes.

Jay Shetty 13:07 At, at least how I hear it.

Tony Robbins 13:07 Yes. I, I, I, I understand completely. You're evaluating whether something new came. But to me, resolve is whatever you did in that moment, it's done.

Jay Shetty 13:14 Right.

Tony Robbins 13:15 Right?

Jay Shetty 13:15 Right, right, right.

Tony Robbins 13:16 I, I, I know, um, Jim Rohn had told me one time that he was speaking about resolve to this audience of young people, and I think it was like a nine-year-old girl. He said, "Who's got a definition of resolve?" And this young girl stood up, and she said, "I think it's promising yourself you will never give up."

Jay Shetty 13:28 Mm. Great. Okay, yeah.

Tony Robbins 13:29 And I thought it was a beautiful example. When you resolve, you're at peace.

Tony Robbins 13:33 Deciding's like a war, right? Committing requires energy and taking it to the future, as you describe. And then resolve, it's amazing. It's like it's done. I, it's done in me. It may not be done in the world, but it's done in me now. I'll find the way or I'll make the way. Y- and there's no uncertainty, there's no fear, there's no anxiety, there's no... It's like, it, when you get to that psychological, emotional place, that's the place in which you get results. If you look at an athlete, athletes are a perfect example of this. I'm sure you've seen a time where you watch an athlete walk up to shoot a free throw or let's say a kicker in football, and you think, "He's gonna miss it."

Jay Shetty 14:07 Yeah. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 14:08 And then they do.

Jay Shetty 14:09 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Tony Robbins 14:09 How did you know they're gonna miss it?

Jay Shetty 14:10 Yeah. Physiology, the, the, where their head was, where their eyes were.

Tony Robbins 14:14 Yes. You could see in their state a lack of certainty.

Jay Shetty 14:18 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 14:18 When someone, when you see like, uh, you know, somebody [laughs] like LeBron take the ball to go [laughs] straight in and go over so- top of somebody's head and put it through, there is not... He didn't just decide, he didn't just commit, he has resolved that every ounce of his being will push-

Jay Shetty 14:31 That's where the ball is going

Tony Robbins 14:33 ... that's where it's gonna go.

Jay Shetty 14:33 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 14:34 Right? So I think, um, just to summarize, I think there isn't a more important skill than decision-making, and if you're not good at it, all you gotta do is start making some decisions. What would you... I, my question would be, instead of just listening to us today, if nothing else came out of this, what's one little decision you could make that would increase the quality of your life that honestly you know you should make?

Jay Shetty 14:54 Mm.

Tony Robbins 14:54 Maybe you've been putting it off 'cause it's inconvenient, you've got lots of other stressful things in your life, or you're not really comfortable. But if you really committed and you followed through, you decided, committed, and followed through, right, resolved, where would you be a year from now? What would your life be like? And I would take a little decision, and what action would you take today? Make that decision now. And then if you're bold, what's a big decision? What's a tough decision? What's a decision you've been putting off or you know in your gut it's right? You know, it might be about a relationship. You know, it might be about how you're dealing with your kids. It might be around your career or your business or your finances, but that's how life gets better. That's how you start creating life as opposed to being a manager of circumstance. And I, I think when people are maintaining, when they're managing their circumstances, when they're surviving, they're miserable.

Jay Shetty 15:40 Mm.

Tony Robbins 15:40 Like, we are made to grow, and we're made to give. When we grow, we have more to give, and so I think decision-making is the pathway, one of them certainly, to getting there.

Jay Shetty 15:48 Yeah. It's, it's so powerful listening to you talk about it because I feel a lot of us, the second mistake we make is that after we make a decision, we hope that that decision solved everything.

Tony Robbins 15:59 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:00 So it's like you make one decision, and then you're like, "All right, well, I quit my job," or, "I left that person," or, "I got a new job, and that should solve it."

Tony Robbins 16:09 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:09 And the reality is, what you're saying is, no, decision making is a continual process.

Tony Robbins 16:14 That's right.

Jay Shetty 16:14 It has to happen time and time again.

Tony Robbins 16:15 Yes.

Jay Shetty 16:15 You don't get to make one decision and your life is solved.

Tony Robbins 16:18 That's right.

Jay Shetty 16:18 Life is made up of lots of little and big decisions along the way.

Tony Robbins 16:21 You know what the biggest problem is that people have? They think they're not supposed to have them.

Jay Shetty 16:26 Ah, right. Yeah.

Tony Robbins 16:27 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:27 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 16:27 Problems are a sign of life. I remember I interviewed, uh, um, what was his name, Norman Vincent Peale.

Jay Shetty 16:33 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 16:33 Dr. Peale, who wrote the original Power of Positive Thinking book. When I was 32, he was 92, and he invited me, 'cause my career was growing, invited me up to Toronto to meet him at an event he was doing. So I came backstage, and we spent about an hour in advance, and, um, I remember asking him, I said, "You know, I'm curious," I said, "why are you still doing these events?" He goes, "Well, Tony, there's still a few negative people around here." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:56 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 16:56 At 92. I said, "What's the most..." And think about 92. He's what, man's horse and carriage to rockets, right? You know, nothing to computers, right? Just the, the changes in his lifetime were just unbelievable. I said, "What do you think is the most important thing people need to understand?" And he said, "The power of problems."

Jay Shetty 17:15 Mm.

Tony Robbins 17:16 And I said, "What do you mean by that?" He goes, "Well, the only people without problems are in cemeteries." And I said, "I think I heard that somewhere." He said, "In 1947, I said that."

Jay Shetty 17:23 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 17:24 He said, "But they never finished my quote." I said, "The only people without problems are in cemeteries, so if you don't have any, you better get on your knees and pray for some,"

Tony Robbins 17:31 'cause he said, "Problems are a sign of life, and what I find is problems call us." He, he said he was sitting one time at this, um, dais, he was at a speaking dais, and it was like a luncheon, and beside him was the heavyweight champion of the world. This was back in the '40s, right? And he said that, uh, he looked at him. His name was Gene Tunney. He's a pretty famous guy. And he said, "Gene, how do you get muscles like that?" And Gene said, "Do you really wanna know, or are you just asking?"

Jay Shetty 17:57 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 17:58 [laughs] And he said, and he just looked me in his head. He goes, "I was thinking, I was just asking, but now I really wanna know," because he was so intense about it. He says, "No, I really wanna know." He goes, "Every day, I push against unbelievable resistance, and that's what sculpts these muscles," right? That's how you build muscle. And he said, "I thought about it a long time afterwards," and he said, "I think that's how we develop spiritually. We push against problems, and that's what sculpts our souls."

Jay Shetty 18:19 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 18:20 And so I think, um, to think you shouldn't have problems, you can call them challenges, it feels better, but it's part of life. It's part of the journey. And solving them makes you bigger, more alive, more spiritually developed, more-... human. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 18:32 Mm. Mm.

Tony Robbins 18:33 More caring. Um, you know, pain and suffering, you don't have to suffer long, but we're all gonna experience some of it, right? But, uh, decision making is how we get out of it.

Jay Shetty 18:41 Yeah. And you're so right, because one of the biggest challenges today is overthinking.

Tony Robbins 18:45 Yes.

Jay Shetty 18:45 Right? We're exposed to more information, or so we think, and-

Tony Robbins 18:48 Yeah

Jay Shetty 18:49 ... I was reading a study that was saying we now consume 72 gigabytes of data per day, which is-

Tony Robbins 18:54 I don't know how much we have truly cons- consume-

Jay Shetty 18:55 Consume, yeah

Tony Robbins 18:56 ... absorb is a different one. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 18:57 Absorb, yeah, absorb. But it's like faced by it.

Tony Robbins 18:59 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 19:00 And you think, like, that's a lot. I remember when you were lucky enough to get one gigabyte on your iPhone, and now we're talking about 72 gigabytes coming at you.

Tony Robbins 19:07 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 19:07 So decision making is the kind of arrow that cuts through that-

Tony Robbins 19:12 100%

Jay Shetty 19:13 ... because that's the only way to get out of overthinking.

Tony Robbins 19:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 19:16 And so if someone's spiraling, if they actually listen to you and said, "Hey, if I just make one decision off of this-

Tony Robbins 19:21 Yes

Jay Shetty 19:21 ... that will actually create a shift for them."

Tony Robbins 19:23 I can tell you too, I- it's too long in a, in a conversation like this-

Jay Shetty 19:25 Right

Tony Robbins 19:25 ... to describe in detail, but I can give you how I make important decisions.

Jay Shetty 19:29 Please.

Tony Robbins 19:29 Um, I have a six-step process, and if people wanna jot it down, I call it OOCEMR. Those are the trigger letters for what I do, OOCEMR. And I developed this years ago because I only had one business. Now I'm fortunate enough I have 114 companies. [laughs] We do over $10 billion in business, and I have no business background. All decision making, learning skills, et cetera. But way back then when I had a small business, I, these decisions were just... It was tough. They were important decisions. They felt like they were life and death decisions for the business. And I knew that knowing how smart I am, you're better with a group of people around you. 'Cause even if you have more information, they have another perspective, you know? And so I was trying to find a decision-making model and I thought, "Well, all decision making is really value clarification." Like, what's most important to you? Like, what you decide, what someone else decide may be different but may be right, 'cause it's about what do you value most, right? So I thought, I should start with decision making not by all the emotion that I may have of either anxiety or fear or excitement or passion. Either one can lead you astray. It's like, what do I want? What's the outcome? That's the first O.

Jay Shetty 20:30 Outcome.

Tony Robbins 20:30 So I get pe- and by the way, I tell people, "Do not do this in your head." The reason people get overwhelmed is they ask multiple questions too fast to answer in their heads. Like, "What am I gonna do? I don't know what to do. What if she says this? What if he did that? But what if it doesn't do that? What..." And you're asking 20 questions, and you don't have the processing power to answer them, so you just go into overwhelm. Slow it down.

Jay Shetty 20:48 Write this down.

Tony Robbins 20:48 One thing at a time, right? But start not with what you're afraid of, start with what you want, because that's how the human nervous system is designed. It's designed to make things happen, to create. So if you become a creator, you start with the OEM. So what are your outcomes? And this is the reason it's hard to make decisions for most people, is they have multiple outcomes they're trying to get from the same decision, right? They wanna make everybody happy, and they wanna make a million dollars, [laughs] and they wanna have

Tony Robbins 21:10 more free time, [laughs] and, you know, all simultaneously. So you have to say, which of those things is most important to you? Is it the free time? Is it the family time? Is it to make more money? Is it... Decide what's most important for you, right? So I have people write down their outcomes, and th- they're usually mult- if they're having a hard time, that's 'cause there's multiple outcomes. And then I also say, "Don't ever do this in your head," 'cause you can't manage it all in your head. Picture's worth a thousand words. So you write down the outcomes and then you put them in order, and then you put the why, because the why is what matters. Like, what is the reason? What's the emotion behind this? What is it I'm... Even though I say this is what I want, what do I want out of this? What's it gonna give me? It's gonna give me joy. It's gonna give me happiness, fulfillment, spiritual development. What is it, right? So now when you're crystal clear what you want and the order you want it in, and that's critical. What's number one? You gotta be rigorous. Now you can make decisions by going to the second O. What's, what are your options? And I always tell people one option is no option. Two options is a dilemma. You need at least three choices to be a choice, right? And so, and when you get to three, you usually find there's four or five. Now, you may not like them all, but you shouldn't lie to yourself and say, "This is the only option." That'll stress you out. Or these two are the only option, you'll get stuck in a dilemma. So I write out all the options. Then I go to OOC is consequences, which is what you're doing the decisions for. What's the upside and the downside of each of these decisions to the best of my knowledge? The upside could be this and this, the downside could be that and that. I've considered the first half, okay? Now you know what exactly you want, you know what your options are, and you know upsides and downsides of each. So now we're gonna go into the last three stages. I'm gonna evaluate, mitigate, and resolve. E, evaluate. Now I'm gonna evaluate what's the probability of those consequences? 'Cause you might have something that's like, "Oh, my God, if this happens, it's the worst thing on earth," but the probability is next to zero, and you're all stressed out. Unless you evaluate probability, you're wasting your time. You might have some go, "Oh, my God, if this works out, it's gonna be the greatest thing in the history of the world," but the likelihood of happening is zero.

Jay Shetty 23:02 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 23:03 Right? You can't let those extremes get you. So you start to see by evaluating what's there. And then the last two steps are fast. It's mitigation. Mitigation means, okay, I've seen what I want. I know my options. I know the upside down. I know what's probable. Now, could I take something from this option and mix it with this one? Is there a way to mitigate the downsides?

Jay Shetty 23:24 Mm.

Tony Robbins 23:24 And almost always there are. And at this stage, your brain gets really creative 'cause it's not in fear or uncertainty or anxiety 'cause you're not in your head. It's right in front of you. And the last part is resolve. And I gave you a million stories, but it's too late to do. But I can just tell you, I've made personally $400 million from one decision I made from this personally. I'm just, I'm trying to give you an economic piece. What the spiritual emotional value has been on things like is priceless. Um, and I, I can honestly tell you by using this system, I'm writing this book right now called The Power of Decision because I want people to have that skill. And I show them everybody, Bezos' decision-making skills. I, I teach people everybody's format, but this is my format for doing it. And I found it to be incredibly valuable, especially when you add commit, resolve, you know, you know, to it, not just decide to the process. So I hope pe- that's helpful for people.

Jay Shetty 24:09 That's a great system.

Tony Robbins 24:11 And useful.

Jay Shetty 24:11 That's, that's the best way I've heard it explained.

Tony Robbins 24:13 That's great.

Jay Shetty 24:13 I really appreciate that model because I think too much of what decisions making is based on today is, oh, if you really want something and you go after it and you organize and you have a plan, you'll get there. And it's like, well, wait a minute-

Tony Robbins 24:24 It's not true. It's not true

Jay Shetty 24:24 ... you didn't, you didn't evaluate the probability.

Tony Robbins 24:26 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 24:26 You didn't look at it from a systematic point of view.

Tony Robbins 24:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 24:28 Or the other side of it is like, all right, you made a decision. You get some good advi- insight, get some good advice, get some good mentorship. You pivot, you pivot. But the point is you can save yourself so much time-

Tony Robbins 24:38 You got it

Jay Shetty 24:39 By doing what you just shared

Tony Robbins 24:40 Huge amounts of time

Jay Shetty 24:41 ... huge amounts of time, money, and energy. I was gonna ask you, Tony, you have such a systematic brain. Like, when I've learned from you, listened to you, everything is so process-oriented, which I love. But at the same time, you have this deep faith, this deep spirituality

Tony Robbins 24:54 Yes, yes

Jay Shetty 24:54 ... and you, you brought it out there. You said, "I made $400 million, and at the same time, the emotional and spiritual benefits-

Tony Robbins 25:00 Priceless

Jay Shetty 25:00 ... are off the charts." Talk to me, uh, genuinely, because I think today we all hear about, oh, you can manifest this, and you can get that and this. I feel like you have a really pragmatic and process-driven approach to both.

Tony Robbins 25:13 Yes.

Jay Shetty 25:13 How does faith, how does energy, how does spirituality correlate with a very systematic, process-driven approach?

Tony Robbins 25:20 That's a great question. Um, no one's really asked me that question. That's nice. Uh, it's a reflection of your qualities as well, which does... I think you look at both sides as well as I do. I think, um, there's nothing more important, spirit, soul, there's nothing more important than your spiritual development. Anything else is a joke. And yet, uh, maybe the best way to describe it is think of about it as East and West, right? We both have experiences of both. Uh, I go to India at least once a year on average, and I've been going since I was in my 20s, um, because I was fascinated by the cultural differences. And, and as a gross generalization, the East is more about internal development. If you go to a place like Varanasi, which is

Tony Robbins 25:57 one of the oldest cities on the planet, you know, 3,800 years old, they have fires that have been burning for 38 straight years nonstop. And for people who don't know it, in that culture, you know, everyone has different perceptions of God or belief of what God is, but in that particular culture, doesn't matter what kind of Hindu you are, if you... There's some believe you should give up all your clothing, everything but your clothes. Some people believe it's studying the Vedas. Some people believe it's through yoga. Different ways to get to God. A million different ways, and there's more than 300 million different gods, your own personal god in that culture, right? Very different. But they have a belief there that if you, uh, die in Varanasi, that's the only thing you have unified, then you don't come back, because the belief is reincarnation. So they want to, you know, not come back, which would be nirvana, right? And they burn these fires, and when someone dies, they try to get to Varanasi no matter what they do because they believe if they die there, they won't come back. And the, the city is filled... You've been there, haven't you?

Jay Shetty 26:49 Yes.

Tony Robbins 26:49 Yeah. Filled with people that are dying and joyous.

Jay Shetty 26:53 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 26:53 Like, I remember we, we, we went to Mother Teresa's facility, and there was a woman there that was, you know, tiny little lady, and she was, like, ni- in her 90s. And I was talking with her. She only broken English but, and she was mad as hell. She was dying, and she was mad they scooped her off the streets, and they're helping her. She came here to die-

Jay Shetty 27:10 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 27:11 ... 'cause this was her fa- I mean, really pissed off, right?

Jay Shetty 27:13 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 27:14 And then most Americans have s- you know, they burn the bodies. I watched them burn the bodies. I'm on this boat, and I'll never forget the first time I did this, and I watched this little boy who's flipping this look like stick or twig, and it was his grandfather's leg. No one is crying. No one is sad. Um, they believe that the body's the T-shirt. You burn it, and it goes away. So the spiritual side of life is all that is seen there and, but yet people live in squalor. You come to America, and people get stressed about they didn't get the special burger on, sauce on their burger, right? [laughs] Um, and you see people that live with tremendous economic opportunity who spoil it and don't take advantage of it, and people have tremendous economic opportunity, but they're not fulfilled in their relationships. They're not, who's to say they're not spiritually developed, but looks on the outside by the way they treat people, they're not spiritually developed. And, um, and so I don't believe you have to pick one or the other. I believe that they go together. I've always believed when I originally was learning, you know, constantly listening to albums, that's how old I am, and cassette tapes and reel-to-reels, that's how old I am, eight tracks of various professors, speakers. I was just immersing myself in things. I noticed almost everybody specialized in either how I com- look at as philosophy or strategy.

Jay Shetty 28:23 Mm.

Tony Robbins 28:23 Right? Philosophy is critical. It determines the quality of your life. It determines whether you're happy or not happy, fulfilled or not fulfilled. Strategy is how.

Jay Shetty 28:35 Mm.

Tony Robbins 28:35 How do you get it done? And strategy's critical because you could save a decade with the right strategy, in business, in your personal life, with your body. The wrong strategy and you're gonna be ill, right? And so early on I decided you need both. So I teach both, and I don't think that's anything but intelligent, [laughs] you know, to do both. So that's how I look at it. But if you think, like, what creates... You know, when you look, I try to look at what does everybody want, and we're all different. Um, and I think the best example I can give is that people want an extraordinary quality of life, but that definition's different for everybody.

Jay Shetty 29:08 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 29:08 Like, some people's idea of an extraordinary life is, you know, three beautiful children and a husband or wife that they adore. Some people's is, um, to write poetry or write music or to build a farm or a garden. Some people's is to grow a business. Um, everyone has completely different ideas of what that is. I don't pretend that my life should be your life or I'm the example for you, but I'm an example of how you can take what you believe you wanna create and make it real by a combination, and enjoy it. 'Cause how many you know have achieved everything they want and then said, "Is this all there is?" 'Cause they didn't have the right philosophy, or they were trying to achieve something they thought would meet a need for significance, and they missed love,

Tony Robbins 29:45 you know, the more important pieces of life. So I believe that there's two primary skills to have an extraordinary quality of life, which I would define as life on your terms. So the first one is the science of achievement. That's a skill. So when I wrote my financial books, I ended up writing three of them. I never intended that, but after 2008 I was so angry, 'cause I worked with Paul Tudor Jones, one of the top 10 traders in the history of the world, and I knew this was coming. I tried to warn people. And only a few number of people almost destroyed, destroyed the world economy, right? And then we punished them by giving them more of our money. [laughs] This is the most crazy thing. So I don't have a lot of power, but I have the power to convene, and so I brought together 50 of the best financial people in the world and kinda dug into their brains and figured out what's the common pattern, they're all different, that have made them go from nothing financially to financially free. And I wanna show people that's still doable, 'cause I think most, especially young people, they don't think that's possible, and they're wrong. Um, the system's rigged is what everybody says. It is rigged to some extent, but it's still totally win, winnable. Life isn't always fair, but it's still magnificent, right? [laughs] You can still make it magnificent. So-The skillsets, it's like it's a science. If you do certain things, you're gonna have too much month at the end of the money [laughs] , right? You're gonna have stress. If you do certain other things financially, you're gonna be free. That's a science. Your body is a science. Every one of us is slightly different, but there's certain patterns that if you violate them, you're gonna have illness, you're gonna have disease, right? That's what it is. Uh, if you s- surround yourself or apply them, you're gonna have a high level of energy, a high level of health. That skill is the one that most human beings in the Western world are pursuing. They want to achieve more, and the whole focus is, "Let's get more." And we're a consumer culture, and so as a result, a lot of people do that, and they're still unhappy,

Tony Robbins 31:31 right?

Jay Shetty 31:31 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 31:31 That's 'cause the second skill is more important and is not promoted in a Western culture very much, and that is the art of fulfillment.

Jay Shetty 31:37 Mm.

Tony Robbins 31:37 And notice I said art, not science, 'cause what fulfills you, and I consider you a dear friend, and what fulfills your best friend and what fulfills your kids may be really different even though you love each other and, and you're all part of the same family, so to speak. We're all d- unique in that way. It's like what does God love? [laughs] Go to a forest and take a look around. Everything's different. It's ultimate levels of variety, of shapes and directions, and it's not supposed to be one thing. I think that's the biggest challenge in our culture. We've experienced all this, you know, this pain and these, these shootings and so forth about people that wanna shoot other people because they believe something different than them. Um, man, what... We've really lost it when we can't have a conversation anymore or we can't learn to agree to disagree. You know, that's part of... You can love somebody and still disagree with them. I know in Congress, I have friends who were... you know, worked at the vice president level and worked at the presidential level and worked in Congress and Senate, and they would fight like hell three or four decades ago, and they'd go have a beer together. Now they don't even talk to each other. It's a crazy thing. But my point is fulfillment is an art, and fulfillment is as different as you and I are. There are no laws to fulfillment, but there are some principles, and one is growth. If you're gonna be fulfilled, you gotta grow. In fact, the whole self-care mentality we have, which I think was important, it was like the antidote to the, uh, what they used to call it, the hustle culture.

Jay Shetty 32:57 Hustle burnout culture.

Tony Robbins 32:58 And, and, and people are always stressed. You know why they're stressed? They're hustling just to make money. There's no meaning.

Jay Shetty 33:02 Mm.

Tony Robbins 33:02 When there's no mean- You can work your ass off and be so fulfilled if it's meaningful to you, if you're doing it for a higher purpose than just money. I'm not saying you shouldn't have money. You should. It's part of a master

Tony Robbins 33:13 skill of being alive and take care of your family. But if that's the only thing you're doing it for, you're gonna stress out and burn out. I mean, stress comes from making things more important than it really is. Failure comes from making things less important than they really are.

Jay Shetty 33:25 Mm.

Tony Robbins 33:25 It's an art.

Jay Shetty 33:25 Mm.

Tony Robbins 33:25 Right?

Jay Shetty 33:26 Mm.

Tony Robbins 33:26 But the fulfillment side is finding what it is that allows you to grow because when you grow, you feel alive. I always tell people, people ask me all the time, they say, "What is it that makes people happy? You travel the world. You meet millions of people. What is... What's the common key to happiness?" And I say progress.

Jay Shetty 33:42 Mm.

Tony Robbins 33:43 Progress equals happiness. When you're making progress, you're happy, even when you achieve it. Like can you think of a goal you've achieved that you're really proud of and then afterwards thought, "Is this all there is?"

Jay Shetty 33:55 No.

Tony Robbins 33:55 Oh, good. I'm so glad.

Jay Shetty 33:56 No. Yeah.

Tony Robbins 33:56 Well, then you're more purposeful.

Jay Shetty 33:57 Yeah, no, but-

Tony Robbins 33:57 Of course. The Purpose Podcast. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 33:59 No, and you too. No, but, I said, like, I think that's because that's... 'cause you know it's about progress.

Tony Robbins 34:03 Yeah. Yes, I totally-

Jay Shetty 34:04 Like no, no, I'm agreeing with you. Yeah, yeah.

Tony Robbins 34:05 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:06 It's kind of-

Tony Robbins 34:06 Have you ever had, though, a goal where you achieved it and you're out of your mind? Like out of your mind and good, like celebratory?

Jay Shetty 34:11 Probably not either.

Tony Robbins 34:12 Oh, interesting.

Jay Shetty 34:13 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 34:14 Well, most people have had some celebration that they've-

Jay Shetty 34:16 Yes. Yes, I've both. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tony Robbins 34:17 ... yeah. And when they celebrate that, what I always ask people is, "You're really celebratory. It was great. You achieved it. You were proud of yourself. Great." I say, "How long did that feeling last?"

Jay Shetty 34:24 [laughs] Not long.

Tony Robbins 34:25 And I say, "Did it last six years?" "No." "Six months?" [laughs] "Six weeks?"

Jay Shetty 34:30 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 34:31 "Six days?" "Six hours?" Most people somewhere between six days, six hours, and six weeks max.

Jay Shetty 34:37 Mm.

Tony Robbins 34:37 Because, you know, why, why does it go away? Because we're not made just to achieve goals. We're made to grow. We're made to become more because when we grow and we make progress, we have something to give. We have more to give. So it's like everything in the world either grows or it dies. If your relationship's not growing, don't BS yourself, it's dying. If your business is not growing, it's dying. If you're not growing, some part of you is dying inside. So, but I found that when people really grow, they're happy, and then they wanna share, and they have something worth sharing, right?

Jay Shetty 35:03 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 35:04 So if you look at somebody like, you know, Robin Williams, I mean, Robin Williams I think was one of the gifts of our country to the world. You know, he, he made people laugh all over the earth. He came here to Hollywood, you know, where we are right now, and he had almost no resources except creativity, and he said, "I'm gonna star in my own TV show." Everybody says that. Nobody does it. He did it. Then he said, "Okay. I don't wanna not only star in my own TV show, I wanna make it the number one show in at least five countries." He did it in nine, right? Then he said, "I don't wanna do TV anymore. I wanna make movies. That's more dramatic." And he did. Then he said, "I wanna win an Academy Award for not being funny, a dramatic Academy Award," and he won.

Jay Shetty 35:45 Mm.

Tony Robbins 35:46 He said, "I want a family that totally loves me and I love," and he did. He said, "I wanna have more money than I could ever spend," and he did it. And he hung himself in his own home. How do you explain that? Now, people say he had Lewy bodies in his brain, but he abused alcohol and cocaine and drugs his entire life, staying hyped up. He worked to make everybody as happy except himself. So I really believe that success without fulfillment's the ultimate failure, and you do not have to separate them because if what you're doing is designed to try and serve something more than yourself, you're not gonna be stressed.

Jay Shetty 36:21 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 36:21 I mean, when you're trying to serve your kids or you're trying to serve your community or your country, when there's something you care about more than yourself, there's an energy that you have. All suffering comes focused on the self. And iron- ironically, again, I started to mention self-care. I'm not being derogatory towards self-care 'cause I think it's important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others and take care of yourself, but it's become the new... it's, it's the new hustle culture.

Jay Shetty 36:44 Mm.

Tony Robbins 36:45 Self-care means you're doing something,

Tony Robbins 36:47 directing your mind, soul, and spirit to become more, not just checking out, right?

Jay Shetty 36:52 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 36:52 And so many people are doing it now, and I think it's a huge reason why, I don't know if you saw, I looked it up the other day. I was... I actually brought it. I wanna make sure I had the right numbers. It blew my mind. Yeah, 61% of Gen Z has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder.

Jay Shetty 37:03 Mm.

Tony Robbins 37:03 61% of a generation, um-54% of Gen Z women report diagnosed mental health conditions by American Psychological Association. 34% of Gen Z are currently taking prescription medication, and there's been 129% increase in the trajectory use of antidepressants among teenage girls since the pandemic. I mean, it's like there's something wrong here. This mental health crisis is because we think we should do less, and we're gonna be happier. There was a study done right in the middle of COVID, um, by a woman who wr- wrote an article in The New York Times, and she took people who are miserable and angry and sad and said, "We're gonna do a time management course with you for nine weeks, and I'm gonna ask that you do more during these nine weeks." And at the end of nine weeks, just by feeling control of their lives, right, 20% increase in life satisfaction, 18% increase in productivity by doing five times more than what they were doing when they ke- 'Cause the problem with pulling back and taking care of yourself when it's the extreme side, not what you or I would do. I know you have the meds thing you talk about, right, in terms of meditating and eating well-

Jay Shetty 38:10 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Tony Robbins 38:10 ... and diet and sleep, right?

Jay Shetty 38:11 Yeah. Yeah.

Tony Robbins 38:11 Those are the ones you couldn't agree more with you on that. But when people make it like just letting go and doing nothing-

Jay Shetty 38:17 Yeah

Tony Robbins 38:18 ... I, I mean, I, I don't downplay the value of that. But the weaker we get, the harder it gets.

Jay Shetty 38:22 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 38:22 It doesn't... Like, you don't hit a bottom, and now you're okay. You just get weaker and weaker, and now little things are stressful. It's just like the decision making.

Jay Shetty 38:29 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 38:29 The more you don't make decisions, the more anxiety you have. The more you start making decisions, the stronger you feel. You feel like you're in control of your life, and all it takes is a few good ones for

Tony Robbins 38:38 you to start getting momentum. So I think those two skills are the key to a great life. Master the science of achievements. You can study how people did it. Get the same thing with your body or your emotions or your relationships or your finances. But then when it comes to fulfillment, you have to discover what will help you to grow and what will help you to give more and what taps you. I, I- I'll give one final example 'cause it's humorous to me.

Jay Shetty 39:00 Please.

Tony Robbins 39:00 Uh, Steve Wynn is a good friend of mine who built most of Las Vegas, about half of Las Vegas.

Jay Shetty 39:04 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 39:04 Beautiful man.

Jay Shetty 39:04 My favorite hotels.

Tony Robbins 39:05 Yes.

Jay Shetty 39:06 Yeah. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 39:06 Beautiful, beautiful man, and Steve is quite a philanthropist, great human being, and a good friend of mine. So he li- we both have, uh, vacation homes in Sun Valley, Idaho, you know, for the snow. And, um, I arrive one morning and... or one night, the night before, and I, I got there, like, 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. [laughs] And the phone rings at 8:00 AM. I'm, you know, four or five hours sleep. [laughs] Who could possibly be calling me at m- this home, right? And Steve. "T- uh, Tony, it's my birthday. I want you to come over today." I said, "Steve, I know, but it's [laughs] what? 8:15, 8:30 in the morning. I just got here." He goes, "Listen, I got this new piece of art." He said, "It's unbelievable. I've coveted this piece of art for the last 13 years." He said, "I, I outbid everybody at Sotheby's, and literally they delivered it late last night for my birthday. You must come and see this painting." I said, "All right, Steve. I have one question. How much did it set you back?" "$86.9 million."

Jay Shetty 39:59 Wow.

Tony Robbins 39:59 $87 million. So I said, "Steve, screw lunch. I'm coming for breakfast."

Jay Shetty 40:04 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 40:04 "I, I gotta see what an $87 million painting looks like." And I'm picturing God crashing-

Jay Shetty 40:08 Yeah. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 40:08 ... through the clouds, some Renaissance image. You know, anything else. I get there, and he takes me in the room, and he goes, "See?" And I look at it, and I understand what it is. It's a Rothko, but it's an orange square.

Jay Shetty 40:20 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 40:20 If you've ever seen a Rothko, it's an... it's literally an orange square, orange and red square. And I said, "Steve, they missed a few spots," 'cause it isn't filled in right. He got a little... [laughs]

Jay Shetty 40:28 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 40:28 And I said, "This is a Rothko." I said, "I know what it is," right? He goes, "Yeah." But I said, "Steve." I said, "Give me $100 worth of red paint. Give me a s- piece of paper. Give me 20 minutes. I think I can do this again."

Jay Shetty 40:39 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 40:39 And it

Tony Robbins 40:40 stirred him up a little bit, you know? He knows I was teasing him. He goes, "Tony, you don't understand. He committed suicide." Started telling me the whole story of the guy. I said, "Well, for suicide, he, you sh- you, he should be his blood for $87 million."

Jay Shetty 40:49 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 40:49 I mean, come on, right? But the reason I tell this story is he can barely see, but he can have almost an orgasm looking at that.

Jay Shetty 40:55 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 40:56 He... be- because he finds meaning in everything, like he knows what every stroke means. I'm look at it, I see an orange square. I'm unsophisticated. So what makes you feel fulfilled depends on what you focus on. If... and, you know, some people say, "Why'd he do that? He should've given that money away." He's given millions and millions and millions, hundreds of millions of dollars away. That's just everybody's judgment. I think you should figure out what it is that fulfills you because if you don't find fulfillment, you're gonna be miserable. More stress comes 'cause you're not fulfilled. It's not because you're not achieving. It's 'cause you're not making progress on what matters to you. It's 'cause you feel at the effect of events versus you're affecting events.

Jay Shetty 41:30 Mm. So many breakthroughs there that I just want to flag for people that I think are huge. The first point being this breakdown of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment, it's so important because I think today what people are getting confused is that they think if they're more fulfilled, they'll be better at the science.

Tony Robbins 41:46 No.

Jay Shetty 41:47 And that doesn't work that way.

Tony Robbins 41:48 And, and you won't stay fulfilled either-

Jay Shetty 41:49 And you-

Tony Robbins 41:49 ... 'cause their idea of fulfillment is what feels good in the moment. But what feels good in the moment isn't what feels good long term. What feels good long term is when you grow-

Jay Shetty 41:57 Yes

Tony Robbins 41:57 ... and then, and when you give. The two things that make us feel alive is growing and giving.

Jay Shetty 42:00 Yes.

Tony Robbins 42:01 And you grow so you have something to give.

Jay Shetty 42:02 Yes, and then same back the other way. The science of achievement won't make you more fulfilled-

Tony Robbins 42:07 No

Jay Shetty 42:07 ... which you made one big breakthrough. Second one is what you just said now, this idea that self-care is promoting this idea that we all want more comfort.

Tony Robbins 42:16 Yes. Yes.

Jay Shetty 42:16 That we should all have more comfort in life, and if we have more comfort in life, then we'll be happier. And you're completely kinda uprooting that and going, "Well, actually, the discomfort makes you experience progress, which equals happiness."

Tony Robbins 42:29 That's correct.

Jay Shetty 42:29 Because that's the algorithm that we wanna be a part of, and that's the hard choice because that hard choice is choosing the discomfort, choosing the discipline, choosing the decision that may feel hard but is right.

Tony Robbins 42:42 But the, but the one that's the hardest one is regret. Not making the decision almost always leads to regret. If you make a decision that's wrong, you can change it and make another one. Even those Type 1 decisions, you know, that, that Jeff Bezos talks about, most of them are still possible to change. This just takes a lot. So it's always possible to shift. What's, what will screw your life up is not deciding, is living on the fence, 'cause the brain does not do well [laughs] with uncertainty, right? Well, that's one of the human needs is the need for certainty, and the fastest way to certainty is just make some decisions and act on them and discover what's real.

Jay Shetty 43:13 Mm.

Tony Robbins 43:13 Um, so I, I appreciate your meta comments about that 'cause I think, uh, I think it's really important to master both skills. I know so many people who achieve so much, and they're so unfulfilled, and there are so many people that are trying for fulfillment, and they, you know, never last.Um, it's 'cause, like, you gotta think about it. Everything in life is calling us to grow, and if you wanna know what doesn't work, the pop psychology of self-care is not working any more than the hustle culture did.

Jay Shetty 43:37 Mm.

Tony Robbins 43:37 They're both extremes.

Jay Shetty 43:38 Mm.

Tony Robbins 43:38 Right? Life's a balance, right? And if you wanna see what the results are, look at the medication and, y- you know, and Millennials are known as the RX, not the X generation, the RX generation, right? So it's like that is not solving it to feel good. Not feeling good is part of what gives you drive. It either destroys you or drives you. You have to make those choices, and most of us will not let it destroy us if we don't medicate ourselves, if we don't... We find a way to push through. But if, if you don't have to, people go for comfort, and comfort will never make you proud.

Jay Shetty 44:07 Mm.

Tony Robbins 44:07 Comfort won't make you strong. Comfort will not allow you to inspire your kids or your community or your friends. But there's a greater thing than comfort that comes from fulfillment by pushing through what... And here's the other part, it's like I, I hear the word, the other pop culture element drives me crazy is self-esteem. "Oh, I don't have any self-esteem 'cause when I was a child, people said these horrible things to me." And how convenient you only remember the horrible things they said to you, right? [laughs] Um, they said lots of things, but the truth of the matter is what people said to you makes no m- means whatsoever as to whether you feel like you have high self-esteem or not. Self-esteem is earned by yourself with yourself. Someone can tell you your whole life you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're so smart, and you can feel you're not, right? I meet people like that all the time, right?

Jay Shetty 44:52 Absolutely.

Tony Robbins 44:52 And they have all this anxiety-

Jay Shetty 44:53 Absolutely

Tony Robbins 44:53 ... 'cause they thought they're the best in the world, and they find out they're not. Their parents overblew who they were at that stage. They didn't teach them to develop it or to push through or develop the muscle that would make them the best in the world at what they do. On the other hand, you can be told by people you're a piece of, worthless piece of junk. You'll never be this. You're a piece of that. You're... And that person can say, "Screw you. I'll show you who I am." So what people have said has zero impact on your self-esteem, and telling people they're great or not great does not change it. Teaching them to have grit, teaching them to push through. The way you develop esteem for yourself is by doing difficult things that you know are right. When you do something that you know is right even though it's difficult, your esteem for yourself grows, and no one can take that away. They can take away money or material things. No one can take away who I've become as a man and my, my path, or you as a man, or anyone else as a woman. And I think it's really important to note if you wanna feel good about yourself, it's not by relaxing. Don't get me wrong. I, I know how to relax. I know how to take time, and I have a beautiful family. I have five kids and five grandkids [laughs] , so I certainly have to be able to do that. And one of my kids is, thanks to COVID, I have a 51-year-old daughter, and I have a four-year-old daughter.

Jay Shetty 45:58 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 45:58 So I have quite a spread [laughs] at 60. What, I'm gonna be

Tony Robbins 46:02 66 pretty soon, so to give you a sense. So my life is full, but it still has to have growth in it. It still has to have progress, and that's what makes it fulfilling.

Jay Shetty 46:12 Yeah. What's the difference between growth and hustle? Meaning?

Tony Robbins 46:15 Well, yes, exactly. Hustle, I'm just doing it to try to make money. If I'm busting my tail, but man, I know what I'm doing, I... You know what it is? Is I always people... I measure people's lives. I, I get them, ask to give a 0 to 10 score on their body, not compared to someone else, like your idea of a 10. When I was 20, I thought washboard abs was a 10, and I had them, and my back hurt, you know? My-

Jay Shetty 46:35 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 46:35 ... shoulders, I was out of balance, right? You know, everything else was screwed up, big biceps and, you know, weak in other areas. Then so I ask people, "Where are you 0 to 10 in your life today based on what you want for your life? Is it energy? What is it? Where are you 0 to 10 in the level of meaning and emotion?" 'Cause if you don't measure something, you can't manage it. And I can give it 0 to 10, a little description. Give me 0 to 10 where you are in your relationships and, um, and the most important one, your intimate relationships, 'cause friendships are easy, right? [laughs] You know, where's that 0... And if you don't have one, that's 0, and but you wanna see that so it pushes you, right? Uh, where are you in, you know, your... And this is the one that led me to it, is your work, or is it for you a career, or is it, you know, um, a calling or a mission? And I already know who people are based on which word they pick. If it's work, it's work. If it's a career, they work at it, and they're pretty fulfilled at it. But if it's mission, like I know you and I are both called.

Jay Shetty 47:29 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 47:29 I, I don't have to do this another day of my life. I do it 'cause it's my mission. It's my purpose. I believe it's what I'm made for. There is no amount of work that can wear you down when it's mission. Zero. And if you haven't found that, um, I would caution against one other thing, if I may. I love you've, you've t- stirred me up with some different questions here.

Jay Shetty 47:48 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 47:48 It's good. I think it's important to understand a lot of people are trying to find their purpose. What's my purpose? What's this big purpose?

Tony Robbins 47:55 Who said you had one, right? Who said you had one for a lifetime? I... If you write down a purpose statement, this long mission statement, it sounds real good, and you read it, it's never gonna cover all of who you are or were for. You know, I have a different purpose when I'm sitting down with my daughter, my youngest daughter, than I am with my oldest. I have a different sense of purpose in what I'm doing, and this business is for that. I have a different purpose in our conversation today. Purpose is what gives life meaning.

Jay Shetty 48:17 Mm.

Tony Robbins 48:18 Um, but you don't have to have one giant purpose that you're struggling to find. Life will evolve, and if you just keep moving forward in a purposeful manner, like whatever you do, there's some meaning to it, then I think you're gonna find you are much more fulfilled. And those measurements, by the way, I would do them on your finances, and I'd do them on the spiritual side of life, not religious, but, like, religio means celebration.

Jay Shetty 48:39 Mm.

Tony Robbins 48:39 Most people in religion don't have a lot of celebration [laughs] anymore.

Jay Shetty 48:42 No, yeah.

Tony Robbins 48:42 Right? Just a bunch of rules. So it's like, okay, I divided this between how much are you celebrating your life? 'Cause isn't this an unbelievable gift that we're each sitting here breathing, this heart's beating, we don't have to work at it, that we're, the skin's working, that we can have a conversation, that we can feel, that we can live, that we can have our children? That's a miracle. We forget what a miracle it is just to be alive, right? So are you celebrating? And then are you contributing? Because celebration without contribution doesn't last.

Jay Shetty 49:09 Mm.

Tony Robbins 49:09 You know? And so I say measure those things. But to answer your question specifically, I think it's critical that you understand stress comes from having... Activity without purpose is the drain on your emotional wellbeing.

Jay Shetty 49:21 Mm. Yeah, and that's, and that's what we're struggling with.

Tony Robbins 49:23 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 49:23 That makes sense.

Tony Robbins 49:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 49:24 You just mentioned that you have a-... child who's 51 years old and one that's four and a half.

Tony Robbins 49:29 I don't,

Tony Robbins 49:30 I wouldn't call her a child now.

Jay Shetty 49:31 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 49:31 She wouldn't appreciate that.

Jay Shetty 49:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tony Robbins 49:32 I have a daughter who's 51. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 49:32 Daughter, yeah. You have a daugh- you have a daughter. Sorry, yeah. You said you have a daughter who's 51 years old, and you probably still see her as a child in some ways, I assume.

Tony Robbins 49:40 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 49:40 I don't know. My, my mom-

Tony Robbins 49:41 Parents always do. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 49:42 My mom can't stop seeing me as a child. Uh, but yes, you have a daughter who's 51 years old, you have a daughter who's four and a half years old.

Tony Robbins 49:48 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 49:49 Talk to me about what being a dad at that age was like, uh, in your 20s-

Tony Robbins 49:55 Yes

Jay Shetty 49:56 ... to what being a dad in your 60s looks like. Like, what is... What's different? What are the different challenges? What are the-

Tony Robbins 50:02 It's, it's-

Jay Shetty 50:02 ... different lessons?

Tony Robbins 50:03 It, it's, it's... My favorite stage of life is this stage of life. I would say that first. For everyone listening, you know, I look at life in seasons. You know, it's like, um, I'm a big believer that the three skills we need to teach our kids or ourselves, especially in a world that in the next five to 10 years will have more change than any time in human history, between nanotechnology and AI and, um, you know, robotics and everything else, the world is gonna change like never before. So how do you have an advantage there? You have to master three skills. You have to matter- pattern recognition so that you're not fearful.

Jay Shetty 50:35 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 50:35 A lot of fear is 'cause you think this is the only time this has happened. Politically, vo- we've never been this way. It's bullshit. I can show you stuff that makes Republicans and Democrats look nice to each other from the past. You know, when you recognize a pattern, you go, "Okay, this has happened before," and seasons are one of those patterns, right? Um, and then you're not fearful. And then the second part, it's not random. The second skill is ma- mastering really pattern, you know, utilization. That's what gives you power in your life. 'Cause now a baby can't get out of this room until they recognize almost all rooms have an exit, and if I look around there, it's shaped

Tony Robbins 51:08 a certain way, and there's a handle that if I push, pull it, I can get out of here. If you don't, you're trapped. So pattern recognition is power. At a little level, get out of the room. At a big level, if you look at somebody that's great in business, like how do I have all these companies? I couldn't even run one company with five employees. I was trying to do a million dollars in business. [laughs] I, I wasn't hitting it, and I was stressed out of my mind to now have 114 companies doing 10 billion. The difference is pattern recognition. It's like understanding and then learning how to use those patterns in those situations. So if you're good in business, there's certain patterns. If you're good at investing, there's certain patterns. If you've got good mental health, there's certain patterns. You know, if you're physically well, there's certain patterns. If you know somebody's a good dancer, they recognize how to use patterns to produce a specific result. Spielberg has made movies for 40 years. He knows if I'm moving slowly like this, he knows that if I go fast, what'll happen, if I pull back, if I bring the music up here. So anyone you know that you probably respect and like doesn't just recognize patterns, they got great at using them. But the third level for me is pattern, you know, where you... a creation, where you really... It's like if you played music, you did it usually by playing someone else's music. Beethoven, Bach, whoever you did. You learned someone else's patterns. And you did that long enough, you could use it, and then one day you start to come through. You started to become a creator, right? We stand on the shoulders of the people before us. And so those three skills are how you can compete or do well, and I want that for my 51-year-old and I want my four-year-old. Having said that, you don't recognize as many patterns when you're 25.

Jay Shetty 52:39 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 52:39 To answer your question, right? And I'm proud of the father I was. I mean, I got married, my first marriage, to a woman that was, uh, 12 years my senior, and she'd been married twice before me. She had kids from both husbands. And she moved in with me, and she was so unhappy, and I was like, "Bring them here." And I adopted all of those kids. So if you can imagine, I was 24, just turning 25 years old. I had a 17-year-old son [laughs] and an 11-year-old daughter, a five-year-old, and then shortly after, a blood child of my own coming on board. And so I was out to change the world, and I had to lear- learn how to manage my life and who I was, and these kids, I fell totally in love with them, and they're, they're the joy of my life today. And that marriage lasted 14 years, and when I grew up, I really... I was there for the kids, honestly, more than anything else. We weren't the, the right match for each other. We're still good friends. And I married my wife now. We've been together 25 years, the greatest gift of my life. But my wife didn't think we could have kids. Um, the doctor told her point blank we couldn't. So we ended up doing it with a surrogate, and it was COVID, and I'm normally going on the road 225 days in a year, 200 days in a year. With COVID, they shut down every arena in the world. I mean, it went from doing 15,000 people to them saying I could put 100 people in the arena. So we pivoted, and I started doing digital seminars. We did the biggest ones in the world, 1.3 million people-

Jay Shetty 53:55 Yeah, huge screens. Yeah

Tony Robbins 53:55 ... and did that for three days, you know, and really made it an experience that was amazing. So there was time, so we got our daughter. But to answer your question specifically, I think in my 20s and 30s, um, I was still trying to figure out completely who I was, and all I knew is I want these kids to be loved. I want them to know that they're not here to demand from life. Life is expecting something from you, and that if you're here to be a contributor, you'll always be happy. And I really accomplished that. I'm proud of all my kids. They're all contributors. They all contribute time, energy, money, resources to help people who are not as well off as they are. Uh, they're all great parents, um, and they're all just, um, they're just good people. Um, but with my daughter today, it's, you know, I had her at 61, so, um, certainly not what I planned for. It brought more joy to me than anything else because you know so much more. You have so much more wisdom to share. You have more time to just experience things versus when you're running, trying to make it all happen.

Jay Shetty 54:49 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 54:49 And I think someone like yourself at 30, you know, we talked off the air here that at some point you'll probably have children. I think in that 38, 39, 40, you have more wisdom to... 'Cause you're still, you know who you are now to a great extent. You'll continue to evolve.

Jay Shetty 55:00 Yeah, continue. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 55:01 Especially you, right?

Jay Shetty 55:02 Right. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 55:03 I'm continuing, I'm continuing to evolve, right?

Jay Shetty 55:04 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 55:04 But I think there's just more to give at that stage. But I also would tell anybody that I wouldn't... If someone would've told me if you think of 0 to 21 as being a pattern of seasons, like when I say pattern recognition, the pattern that has changed humanity the most, the first recognized pattern that we changed and started to use was seasons.

Jay Shetty 55:23 Mm.

Tony Robbins 55:24 Until then, we were hunter-gatherers and starving to death unless we could find the right food. Total stress. Way more stress than we have today, right? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 55:31 Yeah, yeah.

Tony Robbins 55:32 But then what happened? We realized, wow, there are these seasons, and if I plant in the spring, I protect it during the summer, I get to reap in the fall, have enough for winter, I can do the whole thing again. Well, if you do the right thing at the wrong timeYou get nothing. It doesn't matter how hard you work. So I, I'm a big believer in looking at what season you are in your life-

Jay Shetty 55:51 Such a great answer

Tony Robbins 55:52 ... what season you are in history, right? What season I'm, I'm in with my family. And so I think of 0 to 21 as springtime. Everything grows in springtime. It's easy to grow things in springtime. If you start a business in springtime, you think you're a genius. [laughs] You're not a genius, you're just in the right season, right? But then summer comes, and things are tested, and God or the universe, whatever you wanna call it, has made it so we have an easy time, and then we have a tough time-

Jay Shetty 56:14 Mm-hmm

Tony Robbins 56:14 ... to test us, to make us grow. An easy time, rewards, and a tough time. So summer, think of it as, like, 22 to 42, roughly. 0 to 21, you're taken care of. I had a childhood that was a little tough, but, you know, I was 13 or 14, I had to work to support the family. But I still... I didn't have to make all the money for the food. Someone else [laughs] was housing me. Someone else was taking care of me. At that stage of life, you're taking in information. 22 to 42, now you go test it, right? Now you go say, "Well, I was taught all this stuff, but what do I believe?" You know? And in the early stages of that season, you think you're invincible. You think you're gonna be a multi-billionaire, President of United States, and have 100 relationships simultaneously, and everyone will be happy, right? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 56:55 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 56:55 And by the time you're 32 or 3 or something like that, you start going, "I'm not a billionaire, I'm not the President of United States, and I can't even one person happy-

Jay Shetty 57:02 Yeah. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 57:02 ... in a relationship. What the hell is going on here?" And that's usually when people start to look out for people like you and I, who are looking for some wisdom about how to live life in a way that's happy and fulfilling and growing and expanding, 'cause they know they're not invincible. That stage, if you're listening, if you're in that 22 to 42, it is the most painful stage across all studies, most unhappy stage. If you're happy right now, that is awesome, and anyone can be, but most aren't fully happy at that stage. It's the most trying stage. It's the testing time. And if you didn't grow during spring and take care of yourself summer, then you won't reap in the fall. You're gonna weep. But if you grew in both those stages, now you go to the third stage. That's, you know, basically 43 to 63. And both these numbers are round, right? Some people are early, some people are late. But in that stage of life, you've accumulated enough skill and knowledge if you've grown. You know the people... I'm sure you're already experiencing it now. Like, I was in Greece, [laughs] and I, I got stuck. I have a... I'm fortunate enough to have a private plane, and I'm supposed to fly to Germany, and I wanna drop my family in Italy so they can have a good time. And they t- you know, we had it two weeks in advance, they told us what the times would be, and then they changed the times and said I couldn't get out till after my seminar started with 13,000 people in 54 countries, right? And I'm like... And they were immovable. And so, like, okay, my only option is find some other way to get to Athens and fly out somewhere else. And it's like, no, you know, at this stage of my life, there aren't very many people on the planet. Who do I know that knows, you know, the prime minister of Greece? So I asked ChatGPT, Tony Robbins, who does he know that... It gave me a list. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 58:31 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 58:31 It's like Mark Benioff of Salesforce, and my dearest friends, and human rights advocates. Peter Diamandis, one of my partners in business.

Jay Shetty 58:37 Yeah, yeah.

Tony Robbins 58:38 He's... You know, he's from Greece, and he knows... And it went through the whole list. There was, like, nine of them. So I called three of them, and-

Jay Shetty 58:43 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 58:44 ... you know, the poor prime minister got about nine calls, and next thing I know, no problem, they moved the time and everything else. There's a stage of life that if you've done your job and have contributed enough to society, that you know most of the players, or you know most of the people in the industry, and you have... You've got relationships that are 20 years long or maybe 30 years long. And the talent pool's not elastic. There's only so many people that keep growing. And so you usually know those people and have a role in that. So that stage is where most people have... That stage that we can think of as, as autumn, as the fall, as the reward stage. That's when most people earn the most. That's when most people tend to grow the most. That's when you start to really become a leader, in that stage. Now, obviously, it can happen earlier. And then 64 to 84 to 104 to 124, which is the oldest living humans, is the winter stage, which is there's a gradual decline in the body no matter what you do at some stage, and you have to make sure you keep your mental facilities up. But it's also the most magnificent stage because you can make not only a phone call to get your plane out, [laughs] but you are able... You have 30, I have 40-year relationships now. I've got five kids and five grandkids. You know, I've got people that I love with my soul, that I would do anything for, would do anything for me. I don't know many things in life... I'm, I feel closer to God and the universe than I've ever felt in my life. I feel like my life is such a blessing. If, if my life ended tomorrow, I'd be the most blessed man on earth. I'd, I'd like to continue contributing-

Jay Shetty 1:00:08 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 1:00:09 ... um, but that's not in my hands.

Jay Shetty 1:00:09 Yeah, we need you around, Tony. Yeah. [laughs]

Tony Robbins 1:00:11 But it's not, that's not in my hands. Wherever I go, it'll be the right time. So, so it's like I want people to know, and all the studies, by the way, show if you stay healthy, this stage I'm talking about is the most fulfilling stage. And it's the stage where you get to become, you know, an elder statesman, and you... And y- you're not trying to prove to somebody who the hell you are. You know, you, you, you don't play the social media game. You know who the hell you are. If people know you, like people know you're a good person, but if they don't, [laughs] you don't really care, right? You just go deliver what you're here to deliver and do what you're gonna do. So those stages of life, I think, are useful 'cause we're all different, but there's a racetrack to life. And you're not there yet, but there's a stage in your life when your brain will go, "There may be more days behind me than ahead of me."

Jay Shetty 1:00:50 Mm.

Tony Robbins 1:00:51 That's usually midlife, whatever age that is in people's heads. It's different for everybody. And there's a, there's a beauty, there's a massive increase of the beauty of life when you begin to realize it's a limited racetrack.

Jay Shetty 1:01:05 Mm.

Tony Robbins 1:01:06 It's, uh, you value every moment, every relationship, every experience you have even more. And I'm at a stage of life where I have so many friends that are 20 years my senior. Um, I have a lot of friends in their 80s, and I have friends my age that have passed away just in recent years, and it just reminds you that it's a limited racetrack. It's... But I think that's valuable. I remember I read a, um-Um, Ray Kurzweil, uh, sent me one time... Ray Kurzweil is a brilliant futurist

Jay Shetty 1:01:32 Mm-hmm

Tony Robbins 1:01:33 ... one of the smartest in the world, right? And, uh, one day he sent me this little story. He goes, "Tony, I think that you'd appreciate this." And it was a write-up about a, a story from, um, uh, a TV show that was done years ago. And in the TV show, which has a little twist, um, it's about a man who is a gambler, and he goes to heaven, and his idea of heaven is staying at the Wynn Hotel-

Jay Shetty 1:01:54 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 1:01:55 ... in the presidential suite, right-

Jay Shetty 1:01:56 Yeah

Tony Robbins 1:01:56 ... or the Encore presidential suite. And he wakes up in heaven. He wakes up at the top of the Encore, and he opens his closet. There's all these suits and outfits, and he opens the drawers, and there's cash, and there's jewelry, and r- watches, and all these things. And he goes downstairs, and every woman notices him, and he goes, and he's, "Blackjack, you win. 21, you win. You win," you know? And all of a sudden he's playing craps, "You win. You win. You win." And he's, like, lit up like a Christmas tree, and he goes home that night with more than one person, and he thinks it's the greatest experience of his life. And he wakes up the next day and does the whole thing again. And the next day, and does the whole thing again. The next day, does the whole thing again. After three weeks of this, he's sitting at the table. He's playing blackjack and goes, "21, you win." He goes, "Of course I win. I always win." He's getting angry. He goes, "There's something wrong here." He goes, "I want to speak to the head angel. There's something wrong here." And so the head angel comes over, he looks like Guy Lombardi in his tuxedo, and says, "Can I help you, sir?" And he says, "Yes." He goes, "I win every single time." He goes, "There's, there's a mistake here. I don't belong in heaven. I'm not the kind of guy that should be in heaven." And the angel looks at him and said, "Who said you're in heaven?"

Jay Shetty 1:03:01 Oh, wow.

Tony Robbins 1:03:03 "If we always got everything we wanted, if time

Tony Robbins 1:03:06 was unlimited, would you value life as much?"

Jay Shetty 1:03:08 Mm.

Tony Robbins 1:03:09 "So I'm here to make sure-

Jay Shetty 1:03:10 So good

Tony Robbins 1:03:10 ... we make every moment matter-

Jay Shetty 1:03:12 Mm

Tony Robbins 1:03:13 ... with meaning and with love."

Jay Shetty 1:03:15 Mm. It's beautiful. I love that story. Love that story. And I mean, you've dedicated so much to this, and you keep doing it, Time To Rise Summit. Time To Rise is coming up at the end of this month.

Tony Robbins 1:03:27 Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:03:27 And it's another opportunity for people to get better at making decisions-

Tony Robbins 1:03:31 Yes

Jay Shetty 1:03:31 ... to decide, to commit, to act, to resolve, to have that energy. Everything we've been talking about today.

Tony Robbins 1:03:37 Plus, it, it's, you gotta, you know, there's something about the calendar that's so funny. It's totally arbitrary.

Jay Shetty 1:03:41 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 1:03:41 But a new year is like a new life.

Jay Shetty 1:03:43 Yeah.

Tony Robbins 1:03:43 You know, it's like a fresh start, and we all need a fresh start. But the problem is most people set a bunch of New Year's resolutions and, you know, 98% they don't follow through on them. So this is about, hey, let's figure out what you really want. What's getting in the way? What's the plan? It's only three hours a day, so think of it like a great movie, only you're in it, and you're actually changing your life three days in a row. So it's January 29th through the 31st, and you can go, you can attend from anywhere on Earth. We had, uh, 1.3 million people last year attend from 193 countries. Every country on Earth that exists, at least that the UN recognizes. And it's an experience that probably you won't forget. Plus, there's a community of people, and there's zero charge. It's not like partial pay or... There's zero charge. Once a year I do this just to give back to people all over the Earth, and, uh, it's really, really dynamic, and people s- create incredible changes, and they share them with the community on Facebook. Uh, I look forward to it every year, so I hope people will join us. And then the other thing, I hope you'll j- join me for that because it's an immersion, and it's the beginning of the year, and you set yourself up to win and meet some great people. Uh, but then also I've actually now created, uh, uh, with partnership with Paramount, where I'm doing the Tony Robbins Network-

Jay Shetty 1:04:46 Mm-hmm

Tony Robbins 1:04:46 ... which we've just launched, and it'll be all over the world. They're gonna actually translate it in every language. And we'll obviously use AI, so I'll be speaking with my own voice in there. It's amazing technology we have today. Um, but it's literally 24/7 channel of nothing, but we've got, you know, dozens of programs we've developed on how to improve your body, your emotions, your relationships, your finances, and there's no charge for it at all. So anybody can-

Jay Shetty 1:05:06 Wow

Tony Robbins 1:05:06 ... dip

Tony Robbins 1:05:07 in and have an experience there as well.

Jay Shetty 1:05:08 Wow, that's fantastic. I mean, what I love about Time To Rise is that that few days, those two to three days-

Tony Robbins 1:05:15 It's immersion, yes

Jay Shetty 1:05:15 ... that people will spend with you, it will create a shift.

Tony Robbins 1:05:18 There's no question.

Jay Shetty 1:05:19 Because we all need those moments where we just immerse.

Tony Robbins 1:05:22 That's right.

Jay Shetty 1:05:22 We get absorbed, we get focused.

Tony Robbins 1:05:23 That's right.

Jay Shetty 1:05:23 Because some of us maybe will do 10 minutes of thinking about our life here and 30 minutes over there, and-

Tony Robbins 1:05:29 You're right

Jay Shetty 1:05:29 ... maybe you'll spend an hour if you're lucky. But to have three days of three hours each-

Tony Robbins 1:05:33 Yes

Jay Shetty 1:05:33 ... it's, it's colossal what could happen in your life, I feel.

Tony Robbins 1:05:36 And, and I really believe in immersion. The reason I do live events, and they're usually [laughs] 12 hours a day to give you an idea, and people who won't sit for a three-hour movie will go 12 hours and say, "This is the greatest experience of my life," is immersion is the way to learn. Like, if you're gonna learn a language, and you learn a little bit at a time, most people have learned in high school and college, they don't speak the language years later. But if I dropped you in Rome-

Jay Shetty 1:05:53 [laughs]

Tony Robbins 1:05:54 ... for 90 days with no teacher, and I pick you up, you're gonna be speaking 'cause you're seeing it, feeling, experiencing it. So three hours isn't quite that level of immersion, but it's enough to really create momentum, make some real choices, and really change your life for the better, and it'd be my privilege to serve anyone who wants to join us. And again, there's no charge for it.

Jay Shetty 1:06:08 Uh, last question, Tony, before we end. You, you mentioned there that, and, and you've talked about in your seminars, I've seen you talk about it, your relationship with God, the universe.

Tony Robbins 1:06:17 Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:06:17 And I wanted to ask you about that because I think we often refer to a relationship with God, a relationship with the universe. What does a relationship with God and the universe look like? How does one nurture that? What does that mean?

Tony Robbins 1:06:28 It, it's more of what it feels like to me than what it looks like. It feels like, um, I feel like I've been guided in my life, um, because I've asked for guidance, and I believe I've been created... I think we're all created for different purposes, and, um, my own personal belief, which may be [laughs] wrong, is that I'm here to make things better. I mean, I have a, I wear these silly baseball caps all the time just for fun, but, um, if you read them on the side, it says, "Be a blessing and you'll be blessed," is what it says underneath. And that's my whole philosophy of life, be a blessing. And I think, um... I know my, one of my sons, Josh, I remember when he became a Christian. I'm of the Christian faith personally, but I'm quite broad in my approach. I'm not restrictive in my thinking, and I don't believe everyone should be what I b- believe to believe. In other words, if you have a spiritual belief, I hope you follow it, because whatever it is, if you don't follow it, you're probably not gonna be happy. Um, and I'm not a proselytizer of, of people to have to be or think a certain way. But I remember my son, he, he, he became Christian, and when people, you know, find God in whatever way they find it, they often think no one else has that. [laughs] It's only their way, you know? [laughs] And he became very, very rules driven about this is how it is, and that's how it is. And I was quite concerned, but rather than trying to push him to be a certain wayI told my wife, Sage, I said, "Honey," uh, we were in Fiji and I said, "You know, I've got a few days." I said, "I'm gonna go on a fast for the next four days, maybe five, but four or five days just drink juice, and I'm gonna read the whole Bible from cover to cover." And I said, "Because I've never read it that way.

Tony Robbins 1:07:51 I've never done total immersion like I talked about." And I read the whole Bible in literally [laughs] about 18 hours a day, and I was struck at the end by an overall pattern. So I went to my son, he's been very devout and very right, wrong, good, bad. And, and any time you make things extreme, I think it creates problems, right? And I didn't try to make him wrong in any way. I said, "God's this, and God means this, and this, this is what Christ did, and this is how it is." And I said, "Okay, Josh." I said, "Just I have one question for you." I said, "I just read the entire Bible from cover to cover." And his jaw dropped open. I said, "I'm dead serious." And Sage is with me, she goes, "He did it." I said, "One thing that comes out of it, I read the Old Testament and God seems like a selfish bastard who's mean and vindictive. And I read the New Testament, and God seems incredibly loving and supportive of all." So I said, "If that's true, does God grow?" And there was this long pause. He felt like he was being trapped. You know, like, "You're trying to trap me." And I said, "I'm not trying to trap you, I'm asking an honest question. I mean, everything in the universe either grows or dies, so does God grow? If the Bible is a real reflection of, of God, and there are many other books that are a reflection of being inspired by the divine, but let's say that's the book, does God grow? 'Cause it sure looks like it in the book."

Jay Shetty 1:09:11 Mm.

Tony Robbins 1:09:11 You know? "And if that's true, only reason I'm bringing that up is I know what you're fearing is that you can't have absolute certainty about how things are, which is what everybody wants. But you could have faith." And I said... He goes, "Well, if God knows everything, God knows what you're gonna do before you're gonna do, how it's gonna be," and he gave me this rattle. And I said, "Okay, uh, I believe all that, but the question is does God grow?"

Jay Shetty 1:09:31 Mm.

Tony Robbins 1:09:32 And he couldn't give me an answer either way because he felt like he was being trapped in it, but eventually he loosened up, and I can say today he's much more balanced, you know-

Jay Shetty 1:09:39 Yeah

Tony Robbins 1:09:39 ... in that area. He's not trying to make everybody else believe what he believes. But I think, I think the universe grows, I think God grows, and I think it's our job to grow. And I think that when I look at the spiritual side of life, the relationship I have is one that's more emotional than visual. I feel like when I get up to serve, God comes through me. Um, when God- when I stand- when someone stands up in, I ne- let's say it's a Date With Destiny, you've been to Date With Destiny, you never know who's gonna stand up. They could say, you know, "I'm suicidal," or they could say, you know, "I'm con- considering killing myself and my five kids." I mean, I've had that come up. They could say, "I made $400 million and I'm depressed," and people want to slap them [laughs] just, you never know what somebody's gonna say. But the minute they stand up, inside me, it's already done. Not 'cause I'm so smart, because I know they stood up in this moment, I believe 'cause this is all by design, and the right answers will come through me, and they do. I mean, I've never lost a suicide, knock on wood, in, you know, 48 years. Um, and you know, I'm sure people have seen, some people may have seen I'm Not Your Guru on Netflix.

Jay Shetty 1:10:38 Mm-hmm.

Tony Robbins 1:10:38 It's a, a piece, but you see a-

Jay Shetty 1:10:40 It's fantastic

Tony Robbins 1:10:40 ... you see people six years later, like the woman that was there that was suicidal that was in that cult where they made you have sex with the, the adults, and, you know, she's got out, she's now a psychologist, she's [laughs] rescued all these other kids. She doesn't have an ounce of depression or suicidal thoughts, you know? Uh, Stanford did a study that shows that. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the spiritual side of life is critical. But what I said to my son is this, I said, "I want everyone's relationship to be God if I had a choice," which I don't. But if I had a choice. "It should be as unique as your signature. Why should everybody be copying everybody else? You should have an individual relationship with God." So I said, "I'd really appreciate if you read the Bible or you read any great spiritual book," I'm personally Christian, but read any of them, "and let God speak to you. Don't just take it from another man or woman standing on a stage telling you what to believe." I always tell people at my events, "I'm not here to tell you how to be. Who the hell would I be to do that? I'm just sharing with you insights and tools and strategies that can help you guide yourself to whoever you want to be." And then, and hopefully to ask you, "Who do you want to be in this lifetime?" 'Cause in the end, what you get's not gonna make you happy. [laughs] It's who are you gonna become that's gonna make you happy or sad. So I think, I think it's an individual decision, and I think it evolves for people over time, but I think it's one of the most important things. 'Cause for those who believe that there's nothing, you know, nihilistic, but, but this moment or this, this body, um, I think that's a big mistake. It's like saying Webster's Dictionary is the result of an explosion at a print factory. It all came together perfectly in balance. [laughs] I just don't buy that, even logically, and I think you're missing out on life if you don't think there's something more than you, and also something more to serve than you. And that gives me personally a great sense of meaning.

Jay Shetty 1:12:16 Yeah. Tony, thank you for your, your work, your tools, your insights, your life-

Tony Robbins 1:12:20 Appreciate it

Jay Shetty 1:12:20 ... your service. Thank you for your time and energy today. And-

Tony Robbins 1:12:22 Thank you for all that you do. I appreciate it so much

Jay Shetty 1:12:24 ... no, I'm so grateful for our friendship, honestly. It's been-

Tony Robbins 1:12:26 You too

Jay Shetty 1:12:26 ... it's been a real gift. And I wanna push people to timetorisesummit.com. It's timetorisesummit.com. That's where you can subscribe. Remember, you can sign up for absolutely free to join the Time To Rise Summit, can be a part of it with all of the seminars, the insights, three hours a day. It's very rare that we get to do a podcast and I get to direct you to something which will exactly solve what we've been talking about. Today we get to do that, get to give you this summit as a gift, it's absolutely free, that Tony's doing with him and his friends. Timetorisesummit.com. Please go do yourself a favor. It's a gift, it's free. Start your year off right. Get into that great season in the first quarter of this year. And remember, I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you. Uh, Tony, thank you so much.

Tony Robbins 1:13:11 Thank you, brother.

Jay Shetty 1:13:11 Truly, thank you.

Tony Robbins 1:13:12 Appreciate it.

Jay Shetty 1:13:13 Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort is the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking your hidden potential. If you know you want to be more and achieve more this year, go check it out right now.

Tony Robbins 1:13:31 You set a goal today, you achieve it in six months, and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief. There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of expected it, and you would have been disappointed if it didn't happen