Joe Rogan Experience #1476 - Patton Oswalt

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Hello, everybody. I have…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Hello, everybody. I have an announcement. The podcast is moving to Spotify. I signed a multi-year licensing agreement with Spotify that will start on September 1st. Starting on September 1st, the entire JRE library will be available on Spotify, as well as all the other platforms. Then somewhere around the end of the year, it will become exclusive to Spotify, including the video version of the podcast. It will be the exact same show. I am not going to be an employee of Spotify. We're gonna be working with the same crew, doing the exact same show. The only difference will be it will now be available on the largest audio platform in the world. Nothing else will change. It will be free. It will be free to you. You just have to go to Spotify to get it. We're very excited to begin this new chapter of the JRE, and I hope you're there when we cross over. Thanks! All right, we're rolling. Patton Oswalt, how are you, fella?

   2. POPatton Oswalt0:58

      I'm good. How are you doing, man?

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00

      It's good to see you. I wish I saw you right here. I wish I could give you a hug. I wish we weren't in the plague, but, uh-

   4. POPatton Oswalt1:05

      I know.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:06

      It is weird.

   6. POPatton Oswalt1:08

      It is very weird. I've been trying to do your show, you know, that was for so long. My schedule is always insane. The drive for me is restrictive 'cause I'm usually shooting something or doing voiceover, something. So it, it took a plague during this pandemic-

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:23

      (laughs)

   8. POPatton Oswalt1:23

      ... uh-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:23

      I know. We, we see each other like ships passing in the night at the Comedy Store. That's my relationship with you.

   10. POPatton Oswalt1:28

       Exactly, I see you in the parking lot going in, or I'm going in, you're coming out, something. We're in... God, how much do you miss just the c- just going in with a notebook of stuff and just trying it out to see if it, if it works?

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:41

       It's making me appreciate everything. You know, the-

   12. POPatton Oswalt1:44

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:44

       ... the downside of it, I mean, I can look at the negative. Yes, I miss it. Yes, I'm frustrated. But the positive side of it, I appreciate everything. I appreciate comics. I appreciate just being-

   14. POPatton Oswalt1:54

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:54

       ... able to talk to you. I appreciate to be, just having my friends that I can communicate with, and just talking shit to each other and making each other laugh and saying horrible things over text messages. I apprec- (laughs)

   16. POPatton Oswalt2:05

       I know.

   17. JRJoe Rogan2:05

       I appreciate that. (laughs) I appreciate that.

   18. POPatton Oswalt2:08

       If, if this comes back, if we get to do standup again ever, I just feel like comedians are gonna be so much more social and just happy to be with each other, and appreciate the being around people where you can run jokes and they're honest enough to either tag something brilliant or tell you, "Dude, it's-

   19. JRJoe Rogan2:26

       (laughs)

   20. POPatton Oswalt2:27

       "... just, I know you think it's funny. It's so lame. Don't run down that road."

   21. JRJoe Rogan2:31

       (laughs)

   22. POPatton Oswalt2:32

       "It's so waste..." Like, I miss that so f-... 'Cause I, I'm trying to sit down and write every day. I don't know what your process is. My process is to write general ideas and then work them out on stage, and then h- work them out with friends. Just sitting and actually writing it, no matter how detailed I make it, I don't know if it's funny or not till I get it up there.

   23. JRJoe Rogan2:52

       Yeah, it's a-

   24. POPatton Oswalt2:52

       I just don't know.

   25. JRJoe Rogan2:52

       It's a weird disconnect, isn't it?

   26. POPatton Oswalt2:55

       Yeah. It's a-

   27. JRJoe Rogan2:55

       My process is very similar. I, I write like an essay form, and then I extract stuff out of that and I turn that into bits.

   28. POPatton Oswalt3:04

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan3:05

       That's my... Or occasionally, I don't write it at all. Occasionally, an idea just comes and I start going with it, and then I build it up on stage. That's rare, though.

   30. POPatton Oswalt3:12

       Yeah.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   (sniffs) Yeah, well that...…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

   2. POPatton Oswalt15:00

      (sniffs) Yeah, well that... Okay, that's another thing. Talking about the, the disease. It, it just... I, I've, I reread Guns, Germs, and Steel about the Spanish flu and the way that diseases, you know, rewire and reboot your body to benefit themselves and stuff.

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      Mm-hmm.

   4. POPatton Oswalt15:13

      It's just, it seems like we're making the same mistakes at the beginning of the Spanish flu epidemic, and that there's going to be an insane spike, which is where all of the real death and destruction happened with that. If that spike is coming because of all of these half-measures and all of these, "I'm not wearing a mask, I'm..." You know, like that defiant, "I'm going out, I'm pu-" You know, and we're just, we have to brace ourselves for this other spike that's coming. And I just feel-

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:39

      It could happen. But also what could happen is we could get an education on how to boost your immune system. I mean, one of the things that's really driving me crazy about this is there's nothing proactive about what we're being asked to do. Everyone's being asked to shelter in place, but somehow or another it's okay to go to the grocery store, it's okay to go to Target, it's okay to go to a lot of places. But it's not okay to go to some places. And I feel like people need to have the ability to take their own chances and need to have the ability to protect themselves. Like you, you need to give people the opportunity to work.

   6. POPatton Oswalt16:12

      (clears throat) Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:12

      Especially in, in situations where, you, you know, you're, you're dealing with people who their, their entire life could fall apart over these couple of months where you tell them they can't work. And there is, there is a way to test people. There is a way to sanitize. There is a way to be safe. There is a way to be smart about this. There is a way to keep your immune system strong. And we're only looking at keep away. We're not looking at the whole spectrum of possibilities that we can do-

   8. POPatton Oswalt16:38

      Well-

   9. JRJoe Rogan16:38

      ... here to, to move on.

   10. POPatton Oswalt16:40

       I, obviously everyone sh- anyone could be, should be allowed to take their own risks, except that in this case, in this scenario, you taking your own risks tips other people who might not want to take that risk into those areas. And I absolutely understand that someone's life can fall apart in two months if they don't work. That's, you know, I think that's more of a symptom of there not being the social safety net that we have to have out there for these kind of situations. We're sort of seeing that in a very stark way. But, what I'm saying is, if we don't follow these harsh... 'Cause the other, the other scary thing about the Spanish flu is, it kind of, the re- the way we got over it is it kind of went, it kind of just burned itself out. And we need to burn it out of the population that way, and it sucks that that's right now the only way we have to do it, 'cause we clearly don't have the testing capacity that we need.

   11. JRJoe Rogan17:30

       No, it's so weird.

   12. POPatton Oswalt17:31

       You know, it's, it's all these-

   13. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       And also-

   14. POPatton Oswalt17:32

       ... back and forths like everything you say is right, but we don't have the stuff to implement what you're saying. Like it, it's so frustrating.

   15. JRJoe Rogan17:40

       Well, we don't have the stuff to im- implement what I'm saying right now. But we do have-

   16. POPatton Oswalt17:45

       Right.

   17. JRJoe Rogan17:45

       ... we do have the information as far as like things you can do to boost your immune system. Make sure you get better sleep, don't eat this-

   18. POPatton Oswalt17:52

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan17:52

       ... don't do that. But then you, you've got people that... Look, you know how many kids relied on school for food? I mean, it's a huge-

   20. POPatton Oswalt17:59

       It was-

   21. JRJoe Rogan17:59

       ... problem. Right now that's a giant-

   22. POPatton Oswalt18:01

       I agree.

   23. JRJoe Rogan18:02

       ... problem 'cause there's a lot of-

   24. POPatton Oswalt18:03

       I-

   25. JRJoe Rogan18:03

       ... poor kids who literally r- relied on school in order to get their meals in. And now their family has to str- scramble and figure out how to come up-

   26. POPatton Oswalt18:12

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan18:12

       ... with more money to feed these kids when they can't work. Like it's, it's all madness.

   28. POPatton Oswalt18:18

       Mm-hmm.... these, these kids relied on school for food, they relied on school for shelter, for, like, a safe space to actually talk to a responsible adult. Some of them come from very bad home situations. Like, it, and, and I, it just, again, all we do is cut money for schools.

   29. JRJoe Rogan18:34

       Yeah.

   30. POPatton Oswalt18:34

       Which is where such a big part of the population is alive because of what the schools provide, and it, I don't think it has to come... I don't think it should come down to, um, a billionaire's whim of what they want to give money to or not, or your local church. There should be some kind of structure so that people can have some dignity and not have to beg.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Hmm. …

   1. POPatton Oswalt30:00

      but she's very... She was raised with very responsible parents, and very... Not strict, but just, like, "If I say this will happen..." She's, she's consistent both ways. If I say we're going to the beach on Saturday, it will happen. I will not flake out. If I also say, "No iPad for a week," you will not see that iPad. I won't flake either way.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:20

      Hmm.

   3. POPatton Oswalt30:20

      There's always consistency. Um, and I'm-

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:23

      That's great.

   5. POPatton Oswalt30:23

      ... the flakier one. So my daugh-

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:24

      (laughs)

   7. POPatton Oswalt30:24

      Just like you, my daughter knows to come to me and say-

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:26

      Ugh.

   9. POPatton Oswalt30:27

      ... "Can I eat?" And I'm like, "I guess so." And, but now, although now, she d- sh- to her... Well, to our credit, she's done it so clumsily that now we... Whenever she asks something, we text it like, "Hang on, let me text Mommy," and I can see her face like, "Damn it." Like-

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:41

       Hmm.

   11. POPatton Oswalt30:41

       ... "You thought-"... and I'm like, "Hey, you can't do this to me." You know?

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       Are you noticing that people are, through this nonsense, are at least taking a little bit better care of their health or recognizing that this is, this is a real thing they need to invest in? Have you noticed that?

   13. POPatton Oswalt30:58

       I have noticed. I've noticed it in myself that, uh, unfortunately, a lot of this, um, uh, a lot of the lockdown means you gotta eat a lot of processed food because it lasts longer, and, you know, that's how you make your, your food dollar stretch, um, in a lot of ways. And you see the immediate effects of not having fresh food and organic stuff in your diet very, very quickly.

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:20

       Yeah.

   15. POPatton Oswalt31:20

       And, and what I also especially hope is that people, including me who, again, sometimes I forget my fucking privilege, um, and you go, "Oh, this is how people who don't have a lot of money are forced to eat and live and maybe make things better for them, and there'll be less stress and anger and depression ac- across the spectrum." You know?

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:42

       100%.

   17. POPatton Oswalt31:42

       Um, yeah, but anybody who-

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:44

       I mean, that's, that's what you were-

   19. POPatton Oswalt31:46

       Huh?

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:46

       ... what you were saying before about a, a flex for the whole, you know, like, "We're, we're taken care of." That is, that is something that's really-

   21. POPatton Oswalt31:52

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:52

       ... missing in this country in a big way, is that we'll-

   23. POPatton Oswalt31:55

       Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:55

       ... we'll spend a lot of money fixing up other places that we've blown up all over the world, but we'll spend no money trying to-

   25. POPatton Oswalt32:02

       Right.

   26. JRJoe Rogan32:02

       ... balance out Baltimore or South Side of Chicago or Detroit.

   27. POPatton Oswalt32:07

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:07

       It's like-

   29. POPatton Oswalt32:08

       Or, we will do the, we will do it, and sometimes I'm guilty of this too. We will do it if there's a photo op and our name can be tagged in it.

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:16

       Mm.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yup. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      and I'd rather have th- the old people die off than lose my business." It's also-

   2. POPatton Oswalt45:05

      Yup.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      ... "Hey, I don't like you telling me what to do, because I don't think you're any different than me. I think you're just a person." And a person that has power and new power, like the power to tell people you can or can't do something, that's a very tricky position.

   4. POPatton Oswalt45:19

      But it's so weird how those are the kinds of, uh, statements that we push back on, and yet there are other more blatantly controlling statements that we will absolutely accept. You know, like, if you would look at some of the stuff that Trump says to his audience, um, basically mocking them, like holding up a Bible going, "Boy, you people sure love this," like, you would think they would go, "I think he's making fun of us," but they're just like, (claps hands) "Yes!" Like, it's just weird how what one person will push against, you would think, "Oh, that, that's a critical thinker," but then they'll turn around and blindly accept something else. And that's really deceiving.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:55

      Hmm, that's just in case.

   6. POPatton Oswalt45:56

      You know, like, "Wait a minute. How... You were so rightfully suspicious and cautious about that statement, and yet that one got no review from you, and you just went, 'Great.'"

   7. JRJoe Rogan46:05

      Well, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about in particular, 'cause I, I didn't see Trump do that. But the thing about him, like, mocking a Bible, even if it's offensive, it doesn't stop people from doing anything. What, what this, what these orders are-

   8. POPatton Oswalt46:17

      Right, but-

   9. JRJoe Rogan46:17

      ... they're stopping people from making a living, and it's... That's, that's-

   10. POPatton Oswalt46:20

       But what I'm-

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:20

       ... never happened before.

   12. POPatton Oswalt46:21

       Yeah. He's not stopping anyone from doing anything. But the way that he held it up and the way he said it is, "This thing that you believe, I really don't believe it, and I'm just gonna use you to get the power that I need."

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:32

       I never saw that. I've never seen that.

   14. POPatton Oswalt46:34

       Yeah, he was, he, he was... It was at one of his rallies, and he was like... And again, it was his way of going, "Isn't the Bible great?" But he was saying, "Boy, you people sure love this." Like, the undercurrent was, "Come..." (laughs) I mean, "All I gotta do is hold this thing up, and you're mine." Like, he could barely-

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:49

       Well-

   16. POPatton Oswalt46:49

       ... keep himself from hiding it. It was like... You talk about, like, bad PR, like... That's such clumsy statecraft right there. Like, why are you doing that? You know?

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:57

       Well, what's way more confusing than that is some of the other bad PR he's gotten away with, like the stuff that he's said about McCain. And he said, like, "I, I prefer my soldiers that don't get caught." Like, didn't he say something like that? Like, better soldiers-

   18. POPatton Oswalt47:11

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan47:11

       ... that don't get caught? Like some-... 'Cause-

   20. POPatton Oswalt47:13

       I, I prefer my heroes to not be caught. Like, like, something, the kind of thing that would-

   21. JRJoe Rogan47:16

       Something along those lines.

   22. POPatton Oswalt47:17

       ... that would end a political career on the spot.

   23. JRJoe Rogan47:19

       End it. And how about the other-

   24. POPatton Oswalt47:21

       Like-

   25. JRJoe Rogan47:21

       ... the family of the, the soldier that had died, and there, he had been in some sort of a dispute with the family, and o- openly dismissive about that situation?

   26. POPatton Oswalt47:32

       The Goldstar family?

   27. JRJoe Rogan47:33

       Yes.

   28. POPatton Oswalt47:33

       Well, I thought it was fascinating when then they asked... 'Cause th- the father went up and said, "What have you sacrificed?" So then the interviewer was talking to Trump, and wasn't trying to do anything gotcha, just like, "What ha-... Like, how do you answer that?" Like, "What do you sac-" And he, you, like his brain fritzed out. He couldn't phrase it in a way of... He was like, "I've built great buildings. I mean, I've made... I've been very successful. I've made a lot of money." And, like, like, that, he, that's as close as that he could get to embracing the idea or the concept of sacrifice.

   29. JRJoe Rogan48:01

       Yeah, I mean it's n-

   30. POPatton Oswalt48:02

       Because I-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:08:59

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      Uh, I still like them.

   2. POPatton Oswalt1:00:02

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:02

      Like you're allowed that if you don't like-

   4. POPatton Oswalt1:00:04

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:04

      I have friends who hate Marvel comic movies.

   6. POPatton Oswalt1:00:07

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:07

      I fucking love them. I love comic book movies.

   8. POPatton Oswalt1:00:11

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:11

      And I have friends like, "I'm not watching that stupid shit. That guy's definitely gonna live. You're not, nothing's gonna happen. He's the hero."

   10. POPatton Oswalt1:00:17

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

       I'm like, "Listen man, I get it."

   12. POPatton Oswalt1:00:21

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       "I, I understand how you feel a certain way," but, uh, the other thing about film to think about a guy like Scorsese where he needs to be put in much, uh, uh, m- a, a much better perspective is that when you think about some of the stuff that he did in like the '70s, what... Movies had only been around for like, real movies, for like 40 years.

   14. POPatton Oswalt1:00:47

       Yeah. Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       Like King Kong, like th- in the '30s. And then here you go-

   16. POPatton Oswalt1:00:52

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       ... 40 years later you're talking about some-

   18. POPatton Oswalt1:00:54

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:54

       ... of those Scorsese movies or the Coppola movies.

   20. POPatton Oswalt1:00:57

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:00:57

       Like Apocalypse Now. Like think about how-

   22. POPatton Oswalt1:00:59

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       ... crazy that movie is when you really stop and think about when it was actually created and how, uh, w- what a, a short time films had even been made like that.

   24. POPatton Oswalt1:01:10

       Yeah. A- and, and how crazy the execution of it is. It's like, well when I, when I hosted the Independent Spirit Awards, uh, the year I hosted it in 2014, it was the 50th anniversary of John Waters' first film-

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:24

       Wow.

   26. POPatton Oswalt1:01:24

       ... which he made when he was a teenager in Baltimore. It's called Hag in a Black Leather Jacket-

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:28

       (laughs)

   28. POPatton Oswalt1:01:28

       ... and it's about an interracial wedding being, um, decided over by a Klansman. It's a Klansman marrying, um, an interracial couple. (laughs) That was his...

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:37

       (laughs)

   30. POPatton Oswalt1:01:37

       He shot it on his parents' roof in Baltimore in the '60s, and I told the audience, like, "This is the 50th anniversary of John Waters' first film. Any of you guys are, like, 'Are we pushing too far? Are we going too far?' He's already done all that work for you. Fucking go for it."

Episode duration: 1:15:23