Joe Rogan Experience #1476 - Patton Oswalt

1. 0:01 – 1:28

   Spotify deal announcement + Patton joins during the pandemic

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:01

      Hello, everybody. I have an announcement. The podcast is moving to Spotify. I signed a multi-year licensing agreement with Spotify that will start on September 1st. Starting on September 1st, the entire JRE library will be available on Spotify, as well as all the other platforms. Then somewhere around the end of the year, it will become exclusive to Spotify, including the video version of the podcast. It will be the exact same show. I am not going to be an employee of Spotify. We're gonna be working with the same crew, doing the exact same show. The only difference will be it will now be available on the largest audio platform in the world. Nothing else will change. It will be free. It will be free to you. You just have to go to Spotify to get it. We're very excited to begin this new chapter of the JRE, and I hope you're there when we cross over. Thanks! All right, we're rolling. Patton Oswalt, how are you, fella?

   2. POPatton Oswalt0:58

      I'm good. How are you doing, man?

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00

      It's good to see you. I wish I saw you right here. I wish I could give you a hug. I wish we weren't in the plague, but, uh-

   4. POPatton Oswalt1:05

      I know.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:06

      It is weird.

   6. POPatton Oswalt1:08

      It is very weird. I've been trying to do your show, you know, that was for so long. My schedule is always insane. The drive for me is restrictive 'cause I'm usually shooting something or doing voiceover, something. So it, it took a plague during this pandemic-

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:23

      (laughs)

   8. POPatton Oswalt1:23

      ... uh-

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:23

      I know. We, we see each other like ships passing in the night at the Comedy Store. That's my relationship with you.

2. 1:28 – 4:28

   Comedians without a room: writing, testing jokes, and why Zoom mics fail

   1. POPatton Oswalt1:28

      Exactly, I see you in the parking lot going in, or I'm going in, you're coming out, something. We're in... God, how much do you miss just the c- just going in with a notebook of stuff and just trying it out to see if it, if it works?

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:41

      It's making me appreciate everything. You know, the-

   3. POPatton Oswalt1:44

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:44

      ... the downside of it, I mean, I can look at the negative. Yes, I miss it. Yes, I'm frustrated. But the positive side of it, I appreciate everything. I appreciate comics. I appreciate just being-

   5. POPatton Oswalt1:54

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:54

      ... able to talk to you. I appreciate to be, just having my friends that I can communicate with, and just talking shit to each other and making each other laugh and saying horrible things over text messages. I apprec- (laughs)

   7. POPatton Oswalt2:05

      I know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:05

      I appreciate that. (laughs) I appreciate that.

   9. POPatton Oswalt2:08

      If, if this comes back, if we get to do standup again ever, I just feel like comedians are gonna be so much more social and just happy to be with each other, and appreciate the being around people where you can run jokes and they're honest enough to either tag something brilliant or tell you, "Dude, it's-

   10. JRJoe Rogan2:26

       (laughs)

   11. POPatton Oswalt2:27

       "... just, I know you think it's funny. It's so lame. Don't run down that road."

   12. JRJoe Rogan2:31

       (laughs)

   13. POPatton Oswalt2:32

       "It's so waste..." Like, I miss that so f-... 'Cause I, I'm trying to sit down and write every day. I don't know what your process is. My process is to write general ideas and then work them out on stage, and then h- work them out with friends. Just sitting and actually writing it, no matter how detailed I make it, I don't know if it's funny or not till I get it up there.

   14. JRJoe Rogan2:52

       Yeah, it's a-

   15. POPatton Oswalt2:52

       I just don't know.

   16. JRJoe Rogan2:52

       It's a weird disconnect, isn't it?

   17. POPatton Oswalt2:55

       Yeah. It's a-

   18. JRJoe Rogan2:55

       My process is very similar. I, I write like an essay form, and then I extract stuff out of that and I turn that into bits.

   19. POPatton Oswalt3:04

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:05

       That's my... Or occasionally, I don't write it at all. Occasionally, an idea just comes and I start going with it, and then I build it up on stage. That's rare, though.

   21. POPatton Oswalt3:12

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:12

       Most of the time, it comes from an essay.

   23. POPatton Oswalt3:14

       Yeah, and I also, I, I miss the deleting of stuff, where you write something down, or you have to... And then your mind is awesome, and you go up on stage and the beginning part's great and the end part's great, and you're like, "This whole middle section, I thought I was gonna be-

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:28

       (laughs)

   25. POPatton Oswalt3:28

       ... George Carlin," and it's just, I could lose all of that-

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:31

       (sighs)

   27. POPatton Oswalt3:31

       ... this bit and this bit, and that's what it is.

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:34

       Yeah, it's a weird-

   29. POPatton Oswalt3:34

       Which-

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:34

       ... art form we're, we're I think the only art form that I'm aware of that you must have an audience in order to fully create it. You can't-
3. 4:28 – 7:07

   COVID testing, false positives, and contact-tracing worries

   1. POPatton Oswalt4:28

      Those gets recorded. My God. You know, are you... You have a mix of people coming in live, in person with you, and then people doing it over remote, right?

   2. JRJoe Rogan4:36

      Yes, yes. Most people come in live-

   3. POPatton Oswalt4:38

      So when you g-

   4. JRJoe Rogan4:38

      ... and I test all those people.

   5. POPatton Oswalt4:41

      They come in. They get the test.

   6. JRJoe Rogan4:42

      Yeah.

   7. POPatton Oswalt4:43

      But if you get the test and you're negative, you can still get it, right?

   8. JRJoe Rogan4:47

      Y- Well, you could get it right after you walk out the door.

   9. POPatton Oswalt4:51

      Right.

   10. JRJoe Rogan4:51

       I mean, it really depends on what you've been in contact with and what you do and if you're smart. But-

   11. POPatton Oswalt4:56

       Right, right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan4:57

       You know, thankfully everyone's honest. Like, h- if they don't, no one said, "Hey, I don't feel so good. Maybe I shouldn't do this." That would be weird. Um, we've been-

   13. POPatton Oswalt5:06

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan5:06

       ... real lucky. Everybody's been negative. But we tested a lot of people. Uh, Dan, who is, uh, Tim Dillon's producer, he had a false positive. And so we had to give him a second test, and we gave him a nose swab and it turned out he was negative. But it's, it's iffy stuff, you know? It's, uh, until we really can tell. And then what are you gonna give up for them to know? Are you gonna give up contact tracing? Are you, are you willing to do that? Are-

   15. POPatton Oswalt5:31

       Right.

   16. JRJoe Rogan5:31

       You're really willing to have something on your phone that shows who you've been in contact with and who your phone has come near and whether or not they're negative or positive? Like, ooh, that's a slippery slope. I don't like that.

   17. POPatton Oswalt5:42

       That's very weird. And, and also, are there ways... And this is, again, I know so little about internet testing level. Are there ways if you get tested that they can go, "Oh, you actually had it and you recovered from it?"

   18. JRJoe Rogan5:52

       Yes, yes. Yeah, we do those, too.

   19. POPatton Oswalt5:54

       Oh, that shows up?

   20. JRJoe Rogan5:55

       Yeah, yeah. There's, uh, two different li- When you do an antibodies test, there's one line that shows whe- whether it's an active virus, and then there's another line that shows that it's just, uh, the antibodies of a virus that you got and, and recovered from.... and a lot of people that recover from it, apparently, uh, they didn't even know they had it. They had no idea they had it.

   21. POPatton Oswalt6:15

       Yeah, I had... I have a couple of friends who were convinced they had it back in January. They had every symptom that they talk about, an- and they just thought, "Oh, well, it's flu season. I've got a shitty flu." And they recovered and pr- but they don't want to go out and get tested right now 'cause they don't want to go out, so...

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:30

       Mm. Yeah.

   23. POPatton Oswalt6:31

       But a couple of friends feel like I had it, so...

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:35

       Everybody thinks that. Everybody thinks that.

   25. POPatton Oswalt6:37

       (clears throat)

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:37

       But here's the thing, like all the old colds are still around, like the common cold-

   27. POPatton Oswalt6:41

       I know.

   28. JRJoe Rogan6:41

       ... the flu, all that stuff's still around. The flu's different every year-

   29. POPatton Oswalt6:44

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan6:44

       Still around. It's like-
4. 7:07 – 8:20

   Unknowns of the virus: long-term effects and rare complications in kids

   1. POPatton Oswalt7:07

      Yeah.

   2. JRJoe Rogan7:07

      ... parts of my day where I'm not worried about it at all, and there's parts of my day where I'm like, "Fuck, what if this mutates?" You know?

   3. POPatton Oswalt7:13

      Right. Or what if I just did something that I thought was safe and... but now I've met the new strain and-

   4. JRJoe Rogan7:20

      Yeah.

   5. POPatton Oswalt7:20

      ... and two weeks ago, "Remember how we told you to do this? You actually need to be doing..." And it was... And I also... The thing that freaks me out is they don't know what the long-term aftereffects are for this, even if you recover from it. They're thinking that there could be long-term, uh, bronchial issues, respiratory issues. They don't know yet.

   6. JRJoe Rogan7:38

      Yeah, they really have no idea.

   7. POPatton Oswalt7:40

      They don't know.

   8. JRJoe Rogan7:40

      I was reading about this article in The Times (clears throat) today about, um, children that get it, get a particular type of, uh, inflammatory disorder, um, that's causing... One kid was like 14 years old, he got heart failure. It's very rare. Out of all the people that have gotten it-

   9. POPatton Oswalt7:54

      Huh.

   10. JRJoe Rogan7:54

       ... it's like less than 200 people have got this disorder. Um, most children, when they come in contact with this disease, don't have an issue, but some of 'em do.

   11. POPatton Oswalt8:03

       Right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:03

       And this one particular kid, uh, basically he was 14, he was having heart failure, and they don't know why. They don't know... Like it's not nece- ... They used to think it was just a respiratory disease, and now they're like, "Well, what is this?" So it's like these are new things they're trying to figure out as they go along.

5. 8:20 – 12:33

   Who gets to do the ‘COVID bit’ first? + Michael Yo’s severe case

   1. POPatton Oswalt8:20

      A- again, we're talking about this now because we're going through this. I just feel like... A- and again, I- I don't like to predict the future. If we do get to go back doing comedy, I just feel like I'll never talk about this on stage. The last thing people are gonna wanna see on stage is my funny COVID story, which is gonna be (laughs) just a variation on everyone's funny COVID story. So there's no real... You know, I'm not gonna inflict that on an audience. I don't feel like it.

   2. JRJoe Rogan8:45

      Well, if you go up 10th at the store (laughs) on a Wednesday night, it's covered, bro.

   3. POPatton Oswalt8:51

      You... If, yeah, if someone has covered it way better than you, so...

   4. JRJoe Rogan8:54

      Yeah, move on. Let's move on. Yeah, I think it's one of-

   5. POPatton Oswalt8:57

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan8:57

      ... those things that's gonna be a real problem for comics, you know? I mean, you ha-

   7. POPatton Oswalt9:01

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan9:01

      I- I hear what you're saying, but l- on the other hand, someone will come along like Attell, or someone will come along and have-

   9. POPatton Oswalt9:09

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan9:09

       ... the perfect take on it, and you're like, "Oh, well, there it is." You know?

   11. POPatton Oswalt9:12

       Oh, I'll go, "Yeah, that's checked off." Or on the other end of the spectrum, like Joey Diaz will come up and do the rawest, most personal-

   12. JRJoe Rogan9:20

       (laughs)

   13. POPatton Oswalt9:20

       ... uncomfortable, but also brilliant take where you're like... where you might actually have a unique story, but after hearing Joey's you're like, "Yeah, I don't need to share mine." That-

   14. JRJoe Rogan9:29

       Yeah, exactly.

   15. POPatton Oswalt9:30

       That's an interesting thing, right? Yeah, someone's gonna have a crazy story that you're gonna go, "Well, I don't need this story."

   16. JRJoe Rogan9:38

       Yeah, it'll... someone will nail it. Yeah. And hopefully someone who's g- ... I think first dibs go to people who caught it.

   17. POPatton Oswalt9:45

       Yeah, let them... Yeah, if- if- if a comedian actually gets it, maybe they get to do the bit first.

   18. JRJoe Rogan9:50

       Yeah, like Michael Yo-

   19. POPatton Oswalt9:52

       Michael...

   20. JRJoe Rogan9:52

       Michael Yo almost died.

   21. POPatton Oswalt9:54

       I didn't know that.

   22. JRJoe Rogan9:55

       Oh, yeah. He got it real bad.

   23. POPatton Oswalt9:56

       Oh.

   24. JRJoe Rogan9:57

       Yeah. Um, he actually was here in studio the week before he went to New York. He, uh, was ru- burning the candle at both ends, flies to New York with no sleep, does radio, does all the promo shows, does everything, does stand up at Gotham, flies back with no sleep, drives the next day to Vegas and home from Vegas in the same day with his family, kids screaming.

   25. POPatton Oswalt10:22

       Yep. (clears throat)

   26. JRJoe Rogan10:22

       Then he has auditions for the next two days, stressed out, burnt out, boom, then it hits him. And when it hit him, it was... He felt like shit. Then his friend, uh... while he was suffering, one of his friends who's a doctor told him to take Advil 'cause he said he had a headache 'cause he gets migraines. He takes Advil-

   27. POPatton Oswalt10:40

       Right.

   28. JRJoe Rogan10:40

       ... boom, it goes off the deep end, and then he gets it real bad. And he-

   29. POPatton Oswalt10:44

       Right.

   30. JRJoe Rogan10:44

       ... was in the hospital for a week, (clicks tongue) and the doctor, you know... they were talking about putting him on a ventilator. This is the early days of the disease, very early. This is like-
6. 12:33 – 15:00

   Vitamin D, sunlight, and health disparities in severe COVID outcomes

   1. JRJoe Rogan12:33

      Another thing he had was a vitamin D deficiency, and I didn't know about that until, uh-

   2. POPatton Oswalt12:38

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JRJoe Rogan12:38

      ... after I did a podcast with Dr. Rhonda Patrick, and she was talking about studies that have been done in New Orleans and Indonesia and several different studies. What it, what, one of the things they've shown is the people that are in critical care or in the, uh, ICU, there's a large-

   4. POPatton Oswalt12:53

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JRJoe Rogan12:53

      ... percentage, in some cases over 80% of them are vitamin D deficient, versus the people who have sufficient levels of serum vitamin C, vitamin D in their, in their body.

   6. POPatton Oswalt13:02

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan13:02

      Those people, it's less than 5%. So it was 4% of them that were in the ICU, the people with sufficient vitamin D, and more than 80% of people were deficient. And vitamin D is not just a vitamin apparently, according to her. It's actually a hormone, and it regulates many things in the body, and most people are deficient from it. And in the Uni- United States-

   8. POPatton Oswalt13:21

      Right. Right.

   9. JRJoe Rogan13:21

      ... more than 70% of people have insufficient levels of vitamin D, and 29% are deficient to the point where it actually can cause medical issues.

   10. POPatton Oswalt13:31

       Yeah. That's my-

   11. JRJoe Rogan13:31

       Real big deal.

   12. POPatton Oswalt13:31

       ... my, my doctor is, is like, "Take, here. You take this vitamin D every day-"

   13. JRJoe Rogan13:36

       Yeah.

   14. POPatton Oswalt13:36

       "... and go walk in the sun. Get some goddamn vitamin D."

   15. JRJoe Rogan13:38

       That's the best way. The best way is the sun. It's number one.

   16. POPatton Oswalt13:42

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan13:42

       But if you can't get in the sun all the time, vitamin D supplements do work. You know, and I've-

   18. POPatton Oswalt13:47

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan13:47

       ... I've seen people argue this. Like, get, really the best ways to, supplements are bullshit. Like, no they're not. They're, they're okay.

   20. POPatton Oswalt13:53

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan13:53

       They're just not as good-

   22. POPatton Oswalt13:54

       Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan13:55

       ... as the sun. Don't be stupid. Like, look, I get-

   24. POPatton Oswalt13:57

       Yeah, yeah.

   25. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       ... my blood tested. I take vitamins, and I, and I find out what my serum levels are. It, it works. You take vitamin D-

   26. POPatton Oswalt14:02

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan14:02

       ... you get higher levels. It's really simple. The sun is for sure-

   28. POPatton Oswalt14:05

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:05

       ... better though. No one's gonna argue that.

   30. POPatton Oswalt14:07

       Yeah.
7. 15:00 – 19:14

   Spanish flu parallels, reopening tradeoffs, and the missing safety net

   1. POPatton Oswalt15:00

      (sniffs) Yeah, well that... Okay, that's another thing. Talking about the, the disease. It, it just... I, I've, I reread Guns, Germs, and Steel about the Spanish flu and the way that diseases, you know, rewire and reboot your body to benefit themselves and stuff.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:13

      Mm-hmm.

   3. POPatton Oswalt15:13

      It's just, it seems like we're making the same mistakes at the beginning of the Spanish flu epidemic, and that there's going to be an insane spike, which is where all of the real death and destruction happened with that. If that spike is coming because of all of these half-measures and all of these, "I'm not wearing a mask, I'm..." You know, like that defiant, "I'm going out, I'm pu-" You know, and we're just, we have to brace ourselves for this other spike that's coming. And I just feel-

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:39

      It could happen. But also what could happen is we could get an education on how to boost your immune system. I mean, one of the things that's really driving me crazy about this is there's nothing proactive about what we're being asked to do. Everyone's being asked to shelter in place, but somehow or another it's okay to go to the grocery store, it's okay to go to Target, it's okay to go to a lot of places. But it's not okay to go to some places. And I feel like people need to have the ability to take their own chances and need to have the ability to protect themselves. Like you, you need to give people the opportunity to work.

   5. POPatton Oswalt16:12

      (clears throat) Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:12

      Especially in, in situations where, you, you know, you're, you're dealing with people who their, their entire life could fall apart over these couple of months where you tell them they can't work. And there is, there is a way to test people. There is a way to sanitize. There is a way to be safe. There is a way to be smart about this. There is a way to keep your immune system strong. And we're only looking at keep away. We're not looking at the whole spectrum of possibilities that we can do-

   7. POPatton Oswalt16:38

      Well-

   8. JRJoe Rogan16:38

      ... here to, to move on.

   9. POPatton Oswalt16:40

      I, obviously everyone sh- anyone could be, should be allowed to take their own risks, except that in this case, in this scenario, you taking your own risks tips other people who might not want to take that risk into those areas. And I absolutely understand that someone's life can fall apart in two months if they don't work. That's, you know, I think that's more of a symptom of there not being the social safety net that we have to have out there for these kind of situations. We're sort of seeing that in a very stark way. But, what I'm saying is, if we don't follow these harsh... 'Cause the other, the other scary thing about the Spanish flu is, it kind of, the re- the way we got over it is it kind of went, it kind of just burned itself out. And we need to burn it out of the population that way, and it sucks that that's right now the only way we have to do it, 'cause we clearly don't have the testing capacity that we need.

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:30

       No, it's so weird.

   11. POPatton Oswalt17:31

       You know, it's, it's all these-

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:32

       And also-

   13. POPatton Oswalt17:32

       ... back and forths like everything you say is right, but we don't have the stuff to implement what you're saying. Like it, it's so frustrating.

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:40

       Well, we don't have the stuff to im- implement what I'm saying right now. But we do have-

   15. POPatton Oswalt17:45

       Right.

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:45

       ... we do have the information as far as like things you can do to boost your immune system. Make sure you get better sleep, don't eat this-

   17. POPatton Oswalt17:52

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:52

       ... don't do that. But then you, you've got people that... Look, you know how many kids relied on school for food? I mean, it's a huge-

   19. POPatton Oswalt17:59

       It was-

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:59

       ... problem. Right now that's a giant-

   21. POPatton Oswalt18:01

       I agree.

   22. JRJoe Rogan18:02

       ... problem 'cause there's a lot of-

   23. POPatton Oswalt18:03

       I-

   24. JRJoe Rogan18:03

       ... poor kids who literally r- relied on school in order to get their meals in. And now their family has to str- scramble and figure out how to come up-

   25. POPatton Oswalt18:12

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan18:12

       ... with more money to feed these kids when they can't work. Like it's, it's all madness.

   27. POPatton Oswalt18:18

       Mm-hmm.... these, these kids relied on school for food, they relied on school for shelter, for, like, a safe space to actually talk to a responsible adult. Some of them come from very bad home situations. Like, it, and, and I, it just, again, all we do is cut money for schools.

   28. JRJoe Rogan18:34

       Yeah.

   29. POPatton Oswalt18:34

       Which is where such a big part of the population is alive because of what the schools provide, and it, I don't think it has to come... I don't think it should come down to, um, a billionaire's whim of what they want to give money to or not, or your local church. There should be some kind of structure so that people can have some dignity and not have to beg.

   30. JRJoe Rogan18:55

       Yes.
8. 19:14 – 23:23

   Fragility, disasters, and redefining America’s ‘flex’ toward taking care of people

   1. JRJoe Rogan19:14

      And one thing that I would hope out of this is the shock of all being so vulnerable will make people a little bit more humble, and hopefully-

   2. POPatton Oswalt19:23

      Got it. Exactly.

   3. JRJoe Rogan19:24

      ... uh, hopefully, th- the dash some of the flames of materialism that have gone through our society during these soft times, when people just got in really into shiny bullshit, and just recognize, like, "Boy, we live in a very fi- uh, finite state. We don't have much time. We have a, a brief-"

   4. POPatton Oswalt19:44

      And a very fragile state.

   5. JRJoe Rogan19:45

      Very fragile, yeah, and we're waking up to that. We, we, we existed in a Goldilocks period in this country. You know, from essentially-

   6. POPatton Oswalt19:53

      (laughs) That's a good way to put it.

   7. JRJoe Rogan19:54

      ... from World War II on f- to here, where there's a, um, a, a... There's an Instagram page, uh, History, and they had this, uh, this really sobering post about imagine if you were born in th- in the year 1900, and then it goes on to what would happen. By the time you're X years old, the Spanish flu starts. By the time you're Y years old, World War II. And it just goes on and on and on and shows how fucking horrific it was for people-

   8. POPatton Oswalt20:23

      Yeah.

   9. JRJoe Rogan20:23

      ... who were born 120 years ago. We're just... We got lucky. We hit a, a nice sweet spot where the w- the waves weren't there. It was nice and calm.

   10. POPatton Oswalt20:32

       Yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan20:32

       It wasn't too hot out, and then we got cocky.

   12. POPatton Oswalt20:35

       E- excepted i- it feels like now, especially Gen Z is repeating a version of what people born in 1900 went through, because they, a lot of them remember, "Oh my God, there was 9/11, and then now this." Th- they, they actually remember a lot of disasters. I mean-

   13. JRJoe Rogan20:49

       Yeah, Australia was on fire.

   14. POPatton Oswalt20:51

       Australia, th- this year started-

   15. JRJoe Rogan20:53

       (laughs)

   16. POPatton Oswalt20:53

       ... with Australia on fire. That's how we rang in the new year, and it's gotten so much worse.

   17. JRJoe Rogan20:59

       Uh, do you ever see the size-

   18. POPatton Oswalt21:00

       Like, think about that.

   19. JRJoe Rogan21:01

       ... of the burned area of Australia (laughs) ? It's fucking crazy.

   20. POPatton Oswalt21:05

       It, well, it, it, uh, I, I don't even... Y- your mind, I think some people's minds shut down about that, um-

   21. JRJoe Rogan21:13

       They lost half a billion animals.

   22. POPatton Oswalt21:15

       ... they, it's... Half a billion, and that's going to start becoming a typical summers. That is going to become the norm if a radical, drastic change isn't made. But maybe, you know, you were talking about how what if there was a shift in consciousness in terms of, uh, how fr- knowing how fragile and how precarious everything is. It'd, I think it'd be really cool if America switched to... I don't mind America flexing its might and saying, "We're number one," but it would be so cool if we changed that flex to, like, the way a small town gangster flexes-

   23. JRJoe Rogan21:49

       (laughs)

   24. POPatton Oswalt21:49

       ... and he goes, "Look at, look, everyone here, if there's some old lady that's about to get evicted, I paid for it. Every one of my, every one of my five blocks is taken care of." Like, that's the brag. Yes, he drives a nice car and wears a suit, but that, it's that brag of, "My flex is no one in this country goes hungry, doesn't get medical care," and that's what we flex to the world. Instead of flexing, "Look at w- our billionaires. We have, like, 20 crazy rich billionaires. It's amazing, and we..." Like, instead of that, b- our, the brag should be that no one in America is, is, you know, in need and is desperate and is dying. That should be the weird jock flex. That'd be cool if we could shift to that mentality. Wouldn't it be awesome?

   25. JRJoe Rogan22:31

       (laughs) It's funny that you think we need, we need a weird jock flex, but it's a, it's an interesting motivation, a weird jock flex.

   26. POPatton Oswalt22:38

       Yeah. Yeah, but, um, there, uh, a, a jock flex can be used for good. You know what I mean?

   27. JRJoe Rogan22:43

       Yeah.

   28. POPatton Oswalt22:43

       Like, instead of using it... Instead of directing it back on yourself, direct it outward and make that the thing. Like, "Hey," you know? Like, could you imagine if, if there was a high school where all the jocks, all the alpha jocks were like, "No one gets bullied in my high school. If I see any bullying going on, shut that down." Like, what if that was their flex?

   29. JRJoe Rogan23:01

       I bet there's more of that today than you'd believe.

   30. POPatton Oswalt23:03

       Oh-
9. 23:23 – 26:04

   Why government and regulation matter: pandemic response, inspectors, and ‘simple answers’

   1. JRJoe Rogan23:23

      Well, one thing that we are realizing from this is that, you know, there's a lot of people, like, th- that have that libertarian bent, "Let the market decide," you know, "We need a small government," this and that. When something like this goes down, you realize, oh, you need structure. You n- you actually need-

   2. POPatton Oswalt23:38

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan23:38

      ... a pandemic response team. You n- you need people to-

   4. POPatton Oswalt23:42

      Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan23:42

      ... figure out a way to get food to folks. You know, we need to, we need to plan like this can happen again. It's very important.

   6. POPatton Oswalt23:48

      Yeah, I mean, again, visit any third world country after an earthquake and look at all the crumbled buildings with no rebar and go, "Do you really want no building inspectors and no regulations on it?"

   7. JRJoe Rogan23:57

      Exactly.

   8. POPatton Oswalt23:58

      Like, is that what you're fighting for?

   9. JRJoe Rogan23:59

      Exactly.

   10. POPatton Oswalt24:00

       Because it'll all fucking crumble. You know? So...

   11. JRJoe Rogan24:01

       Dude, I've had that argument with people, that stupid libertarian argument. I'm like, "Look, my dad's an architect. My stepfather's an architect. I grew up on construction sites."

   12. POPatton Oswalt24:09

       Yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan24:09

       You have to have inspectors. If you don't have inspectors, man, you're fucked. Like, these guys are... Th- there's a lot of dirt bags out there making houses (laughs) . They're bad people.

   14. POPatton Oswalt24:19

       Yeah. (laughs) They really are.

   15. JRJoe Rogan24:19

       Th- they're cutting corners and stealing money, and watering down the cement. Like, the fuck outta here. You can't, can't let the market decide. It takes too long too.

   16. POPatton Oswalt24:27

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan24:27

       If you buy a house, it takes years before it starts fucking up if they do a shitty job.

   18. POPatton Oswalt24:31

       Yep.

   19. JRJoe Rogan24:31

       It takes two years in.

   20. POPatton Oswalt24:33

       ... the inspectors are there to protect the people that are actually doing it correctly, 'cause a lot of times the people doing it correctly have gotta go to subcontractors-

   21. JRJoe Rogan24:41

       Yeah.

   22. POPatton Oswalt24:41

       ... and subcontractors to supply stuff. And those people can be sketchy. So if you don't have the inspector come by going, "Oh, this dude just ripped you off with substandard cement." Oh, fuck's sake, 'cause I have... That guy's got 900 things he's gotta do every day.

   23. JRJoe Rogan24:53

       Yeah.

   24. POPatton Oswalt24:53

       So you need the guy in there checking stuff out, going... Just doing it so that sh- shit doesn't collapse on you.

   25. JRJoe Rogan24:58

       Well, the world is really-

   26. POPatton Oswalt24:59

       I know people who have-

   27. JRJoe Rogan24:59

       ... complicated, and people love simplistic answers, and simple... that less government answer.

   28. POPatton Oswalt25:04

       Oh.

   29. JRJoe Rogan25:04

       The le- "We don't need cops. We don't need cops."

   30. POPatton Oswalt25:07

       (laughs)
10. 26:04 – 34:06

    Comedy careers, boom/bust lessons, and parenting: staying childish but responsible

    1. POPatton Oswalt26:04

       Well, that will... Weirdly enough, that might be something that comes out of this, is what if people in the private sector start thinking more like people in show business or comedians? 'Cause comedians act like every day is a rainy day.

    2. JRJoe Rogan26:17

       (laughs)

    3. POPatton Oswalt26:17

       Except for a few idiots that we've seen. And I remember coming up as a comedian, um, I, I started comedy as the boom ended, so-

    4. JRJoe Rogan26:24

       Mm-hmm.

    5. POPatton Oswalt26:24

       ... I was very fortunate. I saw a lot of-

    6. JRJoe Rogan26:25

       What year did you start?

    7. POPatton Oswalt26:27

       1988.

    8. JRJoe Rogan26:28

       Me too.

    9. POPatton Oswalt26:29

       Yeah. '88. Where did you start?

    10. JRJoe Rogan26:31

        Boston.

    11. POPatton Oswalt26:32

        I started in DC.

    12. JRJoe Rogan26:34

        Ah.

    13. POPatton Oswalt26:35

        Me and, me and Dave Chappelle went up on the same night for the first time.

    14. JRJoe Rogan26:38

        No shit. That's wild.

    15. POPatton Oswalt26:40

        He was 14, I was 19.

    16. JRJoe Rogan26:42

        Wow.

    17. POPatton Oswalt26:43

        Yeah. But, so then... Okay, maybe you saw this then. At the end of the boom, there were a lot of comedians that, for a time, you could be not great and make 100 grand a year-

    18. JRJoe Rogan26:53

        Yes.

    19. POPatton Oswalt26:53

        ... because there were clubs everywhere, and these guys spent money like, "I'm gonna make 100 grand a year forever." Like, "This'll be my base." And then suddenly, I was watching headliners getting cars towed. I saw a guy get his house repossessed. I came in, he goes-

    20. JRJoe Rogan27:07

        Mm-hmm.

    21. POPatton Oswalt27:07

        ... "I don't have a place to live," he had to go crash on someone's apartment.

    22. JRJoe Rogan27:10

        Wow.

    23. POPatton Oswalt27:10

        Because they weren't a- And then I was told by a, uh, younger guy, "Whatever you make, half of it you don't have. Just save it or put it away. Pretend like you're making half of what you're making and live on that. That's how you live in this business."

    24. JRJoe Rogan27:25

        That's very wise.

    25. POPatton Oswalt27:26

        Or you will... Yeah, which is what, I think, that's how the world should be. Pret- Act as if there's gonna be this happening again and save for it.

    26. JRJoe Rogan27:34

        It's hard to be a baller like that, though, dude.

    27. POPatton Oswalt27:37

        (laughs)

    28. JRJoe Rogan27:37

        If you wanna be balling, if you wanna, like, bling bling-

    29. POPatton Oswalt27:39

        But-

    30. JRJoe Rogan27:39

        ... if you wanna let everybody know. (laughs)
11. 34:06 – 39:44

    Politics, media spectacle, and WWE reality: Trump, power, and broadcast culture

    1. JRJoe Rogan34:06

       We're at a point now where it's like, who, who the fuck would wanna be president?

    2. POPatton Oswalt34:13

       (laughs)

    3. JRJoe Rogan34:13

       Right? Who the fuck would want that job?

    4. POPatton Oswalt34:15

       I-

    5. JRJoe Rogan34:15

       Even if you have some good ideas, like, you have to go way out on a limb to take that job. So who are we getting? You know, we're getting young people-

    6. POPatton Oswalt34:25

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan34:25

       ... that are idealistic and they get for, kind of trent- Tulsi Gabbards and the like. They get kind of-

    8. POPatton Oswalt34:30

       Right.

    9. JRJoe Rogan34:30

       ... pushed aside by the machine 'cause they're not willing to play ball. And then you get-

    10. POPatton Oswalt34:34

        Right.

    11. JRJoe Rogan34:35

        ... to the, the ancient dinosaurs of the system, like Biden, and then on the other side you have Trump. And we have this chaotic-

    12. POPatton Oswalt34:41

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan34:41

        ... scene where the economy is imploding. Everybody's fucking terrified of this new virus. China might wanna go to war with us. I mean, who knows what the fuck is happening with that. And then we have these two-

    14. POPatton Oswalt34:55

        Well-

    15. JRJoe Rogan34:55

        ... to pick from. Like, this is madness. This is the best we can do?

    16. POPatton Oswalt34:59

        Well, I mean, he... We're, we're China's main trading partner. They're not gonna go to war with us unless we cut off trade, so... And I think that's a, that's a nice paranoid thing-

    17. JRJoe Rogan35:07

        It's terrifying.

    18. POPatton Oswalt35:08

        ... that I think gets brought up 50 years... But I don't think, I, I don't, I don't think that'll happen. What I do think is gonna happen though-

    19. JRJoe Rogan35:12

        I don't think so either, but it still scares me.

    20. POPatton Oswalt35:13

        Yeah. What, what... Uh, here, here's me being hopeful. I think that we're living in this age now of, you know, like this all the time. Everything is just being broadcast all the time, and there's no such thing as, like, digging up a past anymore, because everyone just puts their, puts their life out there, and then you can just go digging through someone's Twitter feed or YouTube history, whatever you wanna do. So there's this wave coming up, like, uh, the, uh, uh, Octavio, uh, Cortez and people like that that are like, "Yeah, it's all out there. I don't care about that. Here's what I wanna do." And I think a generation's gonna come up that are, that are, that will go, "Oh yeah, I tweeted out stupid shit when I was 18. Yeah, I, I don't..." You know? "When was that tweet from? 10 years ago? It doesn't count. Whatever, she was being an idiot. I was being..." Like, that will-

    21. JRJoe Rogan35:59

        The standards are definitely different now than they were even five years ago.

    22. POPatton Oswalt36:03

        Yeah, but... But there's a generation of people putting Luminal on people's online history that that will die out and, and it'll turn into w- you know, if, if it was something horrible a week ago, yes, let's talk about that. If you dug up something someone did 10 years ago, everyone's gonna go, "Yeah, you should see the shit I put out." Like, that won't, that won't land the way that it is now. It just won't land.

    23. JRJoe Rogan36:25

        Yeah, I think our, our expectations of people are different. We don't, we're not under the illusion anymore that these aren't real people, because we want them to be presidential or we want them to be-

    24. POPatton Oswalt36:36

        Yeah.

    25. JRJoe Rogan36:36

        ... a representative. We're not under the illusion anymore that they, that, that they're not real people. It's almost like when they had to admit that WWE was fake. It's like, okay, now we can just enjoy it for what it is.

    26. POPatton Oswalt36:47

        Yeah.

    27. JRJoe Rogan36:47

        You don't have to have these arguments with your, with your friends over-

    28. POPatton Oswalt36:49

        Right.

    29. JRJoe Rogan36:49

        ... whether or not it's fake.

    30. POPatton Oswalt36:51

        You have to think about the WWE that everyone keeps-
12. 39:44 – 1:14:22

    AI/Matrix thought experiment, psychedelics, and the Hunter S. Thompson acid cautionary tale

    1. JRJoe Rogan39:44

       My most conspiratorial thoughts are that this is, this is AI, and that AI is slowly bringing us deeper and deeper into the, into the, the hive, into the matrix. And the way they're doing it is by disconnecting us from each other, making social distancing the norm, cover your face with a mask-

    2. POPatton Oswalt40:02

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JRJoe Rogan40:02

       ... don't touch anything, everything you're gonna do virtually, and slowly but surely it's gonna lead to this new way of life where you're, you're, you're no longer at risk by going out there and making yourself susceptible-

    4. POPatton Oswalt40:16

       Right.

    5. JRJoe Rogan40:16

       ... to all these biological nasties. You're gonna stay home-

    6. POPatton Oswalt40:19

       Well-

    7. JRJoe Rogan40:19

       ... and you're gonna plug in.

    8. POPatton Oswalt40:21

       Or what if the AI knows that eventually it does have to unplug us and let us see that we're in the protein pods?

    9. JRJoe Rogan40:27

       Mm-hmm.

    10. POPatton Oswalt40:28

        It's like, "That's gonna freak them out. So let's make this fake reality so fucking insane and awful. We'll have Trump be president."

    11. JRJoe Rogan40:35

        (laughs)

    12. POPatton Oswalt40:35

        "We'll have this virus so that we do unplug and they'll go-"

    13. JRJoe Rogan40:38

        (laughs)

    14. POPatton Oswalt40:39

        "... 'Oh, thank God. Okay, good. Fine. I'm okay with... I'm, I'm cool being in the protein pod. Good.'" Like th- actually they're making it so that we'll be happy when we're shown that we're living in protein pod-

    15. JRJoe Rogan40:49

        Right.

    16. POPatton Oswalt40:49

        ... wasteland, you know.

    17. JRJoe Rogan40:49

        At least there's order in the universe and it's not just-

    18. POPatton Oswalt40:52

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan40:52

        ... completely ridiculous.

    20. POPatton Oswalt40:54

        I mean, I've had those arguments with people about there is a, there is a very strong case to be made, uh, for Cipher's character in The Matrix of like, "No, plug me the fuck back into this."

    21. JRJoe Rogan41:05

        (laughs)

    22. POPatton Oswalt41:05

        "Hang on. So I'm nude with no muscles, atrophied muscles, hairless in a jagged wasteland of radioactive slag, or I could be in this world where I have a nice job and I eat a steak and marry someone? Can I just live in this... I'm fine with it. Like Morpheus, who the fuck are you helping?"

    23. JRJoe Rogan41:24

        (laughs)

    24. POPatton Oswalt41:24

        "You're like, why are you dragging us out of these... The, the machines aren't trying to kill us. They're just like, 'Look, you guys...' And by the way, the machines are like, 'You guys fucked up the Earth. We're doing the best we can for you guys. We could have just let you all die in the wasteland, but instead we found a way so that you can live.'" (laughs) Like the machines aren't doing anything that nefarious.

    25. JRJoe Rogan41:44

        Right, right. They're just letting you-

    26. POPatton Oswalt41:46

        Don't-

    27. JRJoe Rogan41:46

        ... have a better existence than your real one.

    28. POPatton Oswalt41:49

        Yeah. Yeah. And by the way-

    29. JRJoe Rogan41:50

        And it's indistinguishable. It's also... it feels-

    30. POPatton Oswalt41:52

        Yeah.

Episode duration: 1:15:23