Joe Rogan Experience #1629 - Lara Beitz

Lara Beitz 0:00 (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music plays) Hello, Laura.

Lara Beitz 0:15 Hello.

Joe Rogan 0:16 Welcome.

Lara Beitz 0:17 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 0:17 What's happening?

Lara Beitz 0:18 Thank you for having me.

Joe Rogan 0:18 So you said you're in town working at, it's called the Sunset Strip Comedy Club?

Lara Beitz 0:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:22 Is this the first weekend?

Lara Beitz 0:23 Yes.

Joe Rogan 0:23 That it's open?

Lara Beitz 0:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:24 Whoa.

Lara Beitz 0:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:25 That's awesome. How'd you hear about it?

Lara Beitz 0:27 Um, they hit me up.

Joe Rogan 0:28 Did j- so, they just started?

Lara Beitz 0:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:30 Where's it at? What street?

Lara Beitz 0:30 This is opening weekend. Um, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 0:33 Oh, wow. You don't even know where you're going?

Lara Beitz 0:35 No.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Did you just get here today?

Lara Beitz 0:37 I got here yesterday.

Joe Rogan 0:38 Oh, did you walk around?

Lara Beitz 0:39 Uh, I walked a little bit.

Joe Rogan 0:41 Did you get any brisket?

Lara Beitz 0:42 Not yet. That's tonight.

Joe Rogan 0:44 (laughs) What did you do when you got here?

Lara Beitz 0:46 Um, I went and got halal, and then I went swimming.

Joe Rogan 0:49 Oh, okay.

Lara Beitz 0:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:51 Cool. Oh, check it out.

Lara Beitz 0:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:54 Wander around. Um, who you working with?

Lara Beitz 0:57 Um, Fahim and-

Joe Rogan 0:59 Oh, great.

Lara Beitz 0:59 ... and Laura and, um, Amir K., and I can't remember the rest of the lineup, but yeah, that's it.

Joe Rogan 1:08 Yeah, Fahim did some shows with me and Chappelle at Stubb's too. There it is. Is this the place?

Narrator 1:12 Yep.

Joe Rogan 1:13 And where's it at, Jamie?

Narrator 1:14 Downtown, 3rd Street.

Joe Rogan 1:15 Oh, okay.

Narrator 1:16 East Side, I think. This is East 3rd Street.

Joe Rogan 1:18 Nice. Does it say how many people it seats?

Narrator 1:20 It does not.

Joe Rogan 1:21 Nice.

Lara Beitz 1:22 Yeah, the guys who run it have been really great. They've been really nice.

Joe Rogan 1:25 That's fucking awesome. I'm excited.

Lara Beitz 1:27 And they love you.

Joe Rogan 1:28 Uh, what does Tim Dillon have to do with that? Tim Dillon's on their page there.

Narrator 1:32 Uh.

Joe Rogan 1:32 Is he talking shit about them?

Narrator 1:33 It's an Austin comedy, I think.

Lara Beitz 1:34 Uh-

Joe Rogan 1:34 Oh.

Lara Beitz 1:34 ... I think he's talking about the Austin scene.

Joe Rogan 1:36 He, yeah. He's out here too. Are you gonna move here, Laura?

Lara Beitz 1:39 Um, not today.

Joe Rogan 1:41 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:41 You know?

Joe Rogan 1:43 Are you thinking about it?

Lara Beitz 1:43 We'll see. Never say never.

Joe Rogan 1:45 Never say never. Are you considering it?

Lara Beitz 1:47 Um, I mean, before this year, I would have said that I never wanted to leave LA, but I also couldn't have imagined them shutting Hollywood down- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:56 Crazy.

Lara Beitz 1:56 ... until further notice, so I don't know what is gonna happen next.

Joe Rogan 2:00 The, uh, district attorney, I think that's who it is, killed the gang taskforce too. That's a new thing, 'cause apparently there's not enough crime. He's like, "How do we make it worse?"

Lara Beitz 2:10 Oh, that's good.

Joe Rogan 2:11 "Let's just, let's kill the gang taskforce."

Narrator 2:12 Is that the same taskforce that was like, uh, the, the, the dirty one? The (clears throat) the rampart one?

Joe Rogan 2:18 Oh, I don't think so.

Narrator 2:19 Okay. Just 'cause I was wondering.

Joe Rogan 2:19 I think that's a different one. Maybe. I don't think so, though. Maybe it was dirty. Maybe I'm looking into it the wrong way.

Narrator 2:25 I was just, I was just wondering.

Joe Rogan 2:27 You might be right. I might be looking at it the wrong way.

Narrator 2:29 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 2:29 I mean, if no one can leave their apartments anyway, what difference does it really make, you know?

Joe Rogan 2:33 Uh, it dot- my friend Eddie almost got jumped at a gas station two nights ago.

Lara Beitz 2:38 Damn.

Joe Rogan 2:39 Yeah. He's pulled, uh, into a gas station and he got out of his car and some guys started walking backwards towards his car with hoodies on. And he was like, "What is going on here?" And then he's like, "I'm getting back in my fucking car." And then they just ran up to his car and he locked the car and took off.

Lara Beitz 2:57 Damn. I've been making people walk me to my car after shows because I accidentally caught a preview for the local news and it was like, a woman being put down on her face on the sidewalk while two dudes robbed her.

Joe Rogan 3:08 (gasps) .

Lara Beitz 3:08 And I was like, "Well, I can't forget that I've seen that image now," so I guess I don't go places by myself anymore.

Joe Rogan 3:14 Yeah, that's the thing that happens when you shut down the economy is like, crime just... Not only did they shut down the economy, but they also, like, handicapped the police officers. Like, they, you know, cops are terrified to arrest anybody. I was talking to a friend who's, uh, got a friend that's a fireman who's friends with cops and they were all discussing this apparently that they, they just don't know what to do. Like, they have, they're scared to arrest people 'cause they're scared, uh, that they're gonna do something that's gonna be abusive and they're gonna get filmed and then, you know, or considered abusive, or if someone's resisting arrest and they're just in this weird position where a lot of people hate the police now.

Lara Beitz 3:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:51 So cops d- j- they don't wanna be bothered with shit. Like, Sunset is like a dragstrip now. Have you seen people flying down Sunset going 150 miles an hour? Racing?

Lara Beitz 4:01 Yeah. Um-

Joe Rogan 4:02 You have?

Lara Beitz 4:02 ... I have seen that.

Joe Rogan 4:03 Fucking weird, right?

Lara Beitz 4:04 Yeah. I'm, um, laughing because I was with Dylan Sullivan last night and we walked to get food and there were, like, a bunch of junkies around. And they kept just, like, appearing (laughs) and, and I was getting really nervous. And then we saw a cop car across the street and we're like, "Let's go be by the cop." And we walked over to stand by the cop and, um, I was like, "This is not very, this is, that's not a very popular mindset right now."

Joe Rogan 4:35 To go be near the cops?

Lara Beitz 4:36 Yeah, and I pictured someone spraypainting, like, "Fuck the police," and me, like, doing a caret mark (laughs) and saying, "Fuck, yeah, the police," 'cause we got so excited to see them. We were like, "Oh, thank God, the cops are here."

Joe Rogan 4:47 Where were you at?

Lara Beitz 4:48 Um, 6th and a different street.

Joe Rogan 4:52 Yeah, there's that area around where the Vulcan Gas Company is that's a homeless shelter.

Lara Beitz 4:56 That's where we were.

Joe Rogan 4:57 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 4:57 We were parked right outside of Vulcan Gas Company.

Joe Rogan 5:00 Yeah. Yeah, one of the, one of the guys there tried to steal one of my security guys' car.

Lara Beitz 5:05 Damn.

Joe Rogan 5:06 (laughs) So it's like, it's, it's, the whole place down there is so weird. It's, it's funky and, uh, even though it's ki- I mean, it's, like, semi-dangerous, but their version of danger is just so different than the LA danger. It's kind of cute danger. You know, it's like, just crazy homeless people.

Lara Beitz 5:22 It didn't feel cute. And with-

Joe Rogan 5:23 Not when you're by yourself.

Lara Beitz 5:24 ... all due respect you're-

Joe Rogan 5:25 With all due respect.

Lara Beitz 5:25 ... a lot more muscular than I am.

Joe Rogan 5:27 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 5:27 I don't think that people will fuck with you as fast as they'll fuck with me.

Joe Rogan 5:30 Well, you never know. It's easy to get a gun here. It's a different animal. Yeah.

Lara Beitz 5:34 Yeah, we were parked before an alley and people just started, like, coming out of the alleys.

Joe Rogan 5:39 Mm-hmm.

Lara Beitz 5:39 And I was like, "We gotta go somewhere else."

Joe Rogan 5:43 Yeah. Well, COVID fucked everything up. The pandemic fucked everything up. It did not fuck up Austin, it just fucked up Austin less than it, I mean, it fucked LA up. LA is fucked. Like-

Lara Beitz 5:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:56 ... it's not just fucked, like, I tell people about it and they're like, "Come on, you're exaggerating." And then they go and then they call me and go, "Holy shit, dude. Like, it's unrecognizable."

Lara Beitz 6:05 Well, and it's fucked because...If you're gonna shut everything down, you have to give us, like, a lot of money, because rent is so obscene there that I think it's unimaginable for anyone who lives anywhere else in the country. I mean, it's so expensive. I've been on unemployment for a year, which I've never applied for unemployment before in my entire life. Like, you know how hard I work. I'm not a handout person. But if you're going to shut all the comedy clubs-

Joe Rogan 6:33 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 6:33 ... like, and I was applying for jobs that I didn't even want on Indeed just to try to make some money, 'cause my unemployment covers less than half of my rent. And I'm just like, "What do you expect me to do?" And if I'm in a position where I, every month, I'm like, "Am I gonna be... How am I gonna not be homeless?" I just can't imagine people who have it so much worse than I do.

Joe Rogan 6:55 Yeah, and that there are a lot of people like that. And there's also, like, it incentivizes people to do crime. It really does, 'cause they're like, "I- I need to fucking get by. I- I gotta figure this out." And so people that were maybe on the cusp of trying to be a good person and maybe fell back into a life of crime, it's just, it's not good. It's just... The problem is when you have mayors and governors and these people that don't... They don't have a vested interest in the economy booming. Like, it doesn't matter to them. Like, they- they get paid regardless, you know? So if their paycheck was dependent upon the economy of, like say if like the governor and the mayor got paid a percentage of the gross revenues for the state, like, you know, 0.001% or whatever the fuck it is. Like, this is how you make your living. Like, everybody has to do well. And if you develop policies and you enact laws and legislations and rules, especially during this pandemic, that cripple businesses. Like, there's a way to keep businesses open and still keep people safe. They've done it. They've done it in other places.

Lara Beitz 8:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:00 But California for what- Like, if you look at... Florida's the crazy one, right? We always look at Florida like, "Those people are out of their mind. They're crazy. They- they're fucking alligators and hanging out in the streets." But Florida has, like, less COVID cases per capita. They have less deaths per capita, and they're wide open.

Lara Beitz 8:16 Well, and we're not at the... It's not last April anymore.

Joe Rogan 8:20 Exactly.

Lara Beitz 8:21 25% of Americans have received at least one shot of the vaccine. The most vulnerable populations got the vaccine first, which doesn't make sense to me, but I'm not a doctor or a virologist. Like, it makes sense on one level, and then it's very confusing to me on another level. I'm like, "I would think we would want to try it on healthy people first." But that's neither here nor there, so like-

Joe Rogan 8:42 They tested it on people before they tried it on the old folks. The idea is the old folks are less likely to survive it if they get it.

Lara Beitz 8:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:49 You know?

Lara Beitz 8:50 But they... This was like the finish line, I thought. I thought, like, when the vaccine's out, we're gonna pop shit back open. So what-

Joe Rogan 8:57 That's what they did here. And that's what they're doing in a lot of states. That's what they did in Arizona. The problem is California's, they've been feeding off that fear porn for, like, a full year, and they don't want to let it go. I mean, they almost want the- the virus to be completely eradicated. And the real fear is that what happens when the flu comes around? What happens when a- a less dangerous virus comes around? Are you gonna reenact the same rules? I mean, you gonna just keep the economy crippled? It's gonna be Mad Max.

Lara Beitz 9:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:24 That fucking place is gonna be all tents and guns and fucking dogs and it's gonna be chaos.

Lara Beitz 9:30 It's really gnarly. And it's interesting to me how little people allow for, like, incorporating new information and changing your mind about stuff, especially at this point.

Joe Rogan 9:41 Right.

Lara Beitz 9:41 'Cause there are people who still are like, "Comics shouldn't be doing shows in LA."

Joe Rogan 9:45 You know what? Those people all don't do shows. You ever notice that?

Lara Beitz 9:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:49 Those people, "You shouldn't do shows," you motherfuckers never did shows.

Lara Beitz 9:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:52 Those are all people that their career sucked and they weren't that good. And they're- they want people to stay home because part of them didn't like the fact that people were doing so many shows and doing so well. There's not a lot of, like, really good successful comics that are saying people shouldn't be doing shows. It's generally scrubs.

Lara Beitz 10:11 Yeah, for sure. It's people who did it as a hobby. And I don't think that you should get-

Joe Rogan 10:15 Or just weren't successful.

Lara Beitz 10:16 ... to have that opinion if you're not a professional comedian.

Joe Rogan 10:19 Right.

Lara Beitz 10:19 Like, what are you doing? Unless you also are talking that way to all of your friends who have been working in offices, and unless you have a better idea for someone than doing shows. Like, I don't know how you can expect people not to feel differently about this when we have more information.

Joe Rogan 10:38 Yes.

Lara Beitz 10:38 We know more about this disease. We know more about how it's transmitted. We know more about how deadly it is.

Joe Rogan 10:43 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 10:44 And it's interesting because there's so much misinformation that is being given to us. Like, we know that you don't have to be six feet apart and wear masks and be outside. Like, if you're outside, you're probably not going to give it to other people.

Joe Rogan 11:01 At all. Yeah. And so if you're inside-

Lara Beitz 11:03 And so the more that people know that they're being-

Joe Rogan 11:04 ... you can wear masks. You can, that you can do it and be safe. They've been doing shows all across the country. They haven't had these mass outbreaks that come out of these shows. It- it hasn't happened.

Lara Beitz 11:14 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I- I did Vegas and I wore my mask when I wasn't on stage and I didn't get sick. And so it's kind of like the more stuff I did and didn't get it, the more I was like, "Wait, this isn't..." I was under the impression that, like, if I left my house, I was gonna die.

Joe Rogan 11:32 Yeah, that's what they want you to think. Have you been taking vitamins? Are you up on your... Obviously, you look great. You lost a ton of weight.

Lara Beitz 11:39 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 11:39 You look super healthy. I'm very proud of you.

Lara Beitz 11:41 Thank you so much. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 11:41 That's amazing. That's really cool.

Lara Beitz 11:43 Um, yeah, I take a lot of vitamins, including-

Joe Rogan 11:45 Yeah?

Lara Beitz 11:45 ... vitamin D. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:46 Are you taking, uh, D with an ionophore, like quercetin or curcumin or any of those things?

Lara Beitz 11:53 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 11:53 Okay, let me get you some, uh, quercetin, 'cause quercetin is, it- it- it increases the efficacy of zinc. It gets it into your bloodstream better. So D3, zinc, and, um, and- and an ionophore, particularly quercetin. There's been studies done on quercetin and the way it impacts, uh, people's health with quercetin and zinc with COVID-19. I'll send you a link.

Lara Beitz 12:16 Cool. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 12:17 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 12:17 Yeah, I mean, they told us that there was a virus killing obese people. I was obese at the beginning of the pandemic and so I lost weight.... to not be obese anymore, and now I'm in a healthy weight range and they made obese people eligible for the vaccine. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:32 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 12:32 And I wasn't eligible for the vaccine. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Joe Rogan 12:35 Can you wear like a fat suit? Go get vaccinated?

Lara Beitz 12:38 I got vaccinated as a food worker.

Joe Rogan 12:41 Oh?

Lara Beitz 12:42 I gave them my comedy store tax form-

Joe Rogan 12:44 Oh.

Lara Beitz 12:44 ... and the lady was like, "Do you handle food?" And I was like, "Yeah, I do."

Joe Rogan 12:48 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 12:48 "I handle food every day." So I didn't-

Joe Rogan 12:50 I handle food too.

Lara Beitz 12:51 I didn't lie, but I didn't super tell the truth.

Joe Rogan 12:54 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 12:55 But we're not, we're not at the point now where we're just vaccinating the people who are most vulnerable. Like, those people have had it for the most part.

Joe Rogan 13:03 Right.

Lara Beitz 13:03 Now, we're back to ranking members of society from the most to least important. And there's no one I can, like, talk to about that and be like, "Well, listen. I'm getting on a plane. I'm gonna be flying. I'm gonna..." You know what I'm... Like, I can't plead my case, but I can give them my tax form and get the vaccine, so that's what I did.

Joe Rogan 13:20 Yeah, it's a weird thing when they tell you that your business is not essential, and that's a weird thing. It's like you're not-

Lara Beitz 13:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:26 ... you, you're not worthy of the vaccine yet. We're gonna... I get it with vulnerable people. That does make sense to me.

Lara Beitz 13:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:32 And I do get it with frontline workers, I get it. But the, after that, it's like w- how do you decide who's getting this?

Lara Beitz 13:38 It feels pretty essential to me.

Joe Rogan 13:40 Comedy's essential. I think it's mental health. I think it's very good for people. It's, uh, I mean, making people laugh is, I, I, uh, to me... Like, I've gone to comedy shows and walked out and felt better, like I just took a drug.

Lara Beitz 13:52 Oh my God, yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:54 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 13:54 It brought... I didn't, I didn't do standup for seven months and then did a show again, and it was like I came back to life. And then I-

Joe Rogan 14:03 Where was the first place you worked?

Lara Beitz 14:06 I don't remember what it was called.

Joe Rogan 14:08 Where was it? In LA?

Lara Beitz 14:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:10 Did you, uh, practice your stuff? Did you go over your material? Like, how did you approach the show?

Lara Beitz 14:15 Well, I had written a lot of new material. You know, I had been writing in quarantine, but so much of that made no sense because it was, like, written by an insane person 'cause I lost my mind in my home.

Joe Rogan 14:30 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 14:31 So, I'm writing shit that's, like, specific to my apartment (laughs) and also writing stuff about, like, something that was on the news in March. So, by the time I went on stage and, like, went and looked through it, I was like, "This can never be seen by anybody."

Joe Rogan 14:43 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 14:44 So, I did some stuff that was, like, new, and then I did some old stuff. People say it's like learning to ride a bike. It's like learning to ride a bike and then not walking and then standing up and your legs have atrophied. Like, that first set was... People were laughing and I had fun, but I wouldn't try to sell it to HBO or anything.

Joe Rogan 15:09 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 15:09 You know?

Joe Rogan 15:10 Yeah. My first set I did, uh... What happened? I just lost all sound. I lost... Oh, just came back. How weird. Ghosts.

Lara Beitz 15:22 I could hear you the whole time.

Joe Rogan 15:23 Oh, that's so strange. Um, my first set I did, uh, the Houston, uh, Improv with, uh, Moses and, and Hinchcliff. And, uh, we did it in July, but then I got paranoid that I was gonna give it to somebody. I was like, "What if I get it and give it to somebody?" You know, I wasn't as worried about getting it as I was giving it to somebody. But, um, so I said, "Let me just take some time off." And then I didn't do it again until, um, Chappelle, uh, asked me to do these shows out here. And I was like, "Fuck, all right. I'm living out here. He's coming out here. I'm gonna do some shows." And as soon as I doing, I started doing those, I'm like, "Fuck, I'm back."

Lara Beitz 15:56 That's exactly what happened to me. I did that one show, and then the next night I did another one. And on the way to that show that night, I had this feeling that I, like, hadn't felt in forever. And it was the joy of going to do it. And I remembered that I used to have that feeling every single night when I would go to The Comedy Store-

Joe Rogan 16:15 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 16:15 ... or, like, when I would go do a show. 'Cause I never, I never took it for granted. Like, I was always excited. I was always happy. I always looked around.

Joe Rogan 16:24 No, you always were.

Lara Beitz 16:26 I always looked around at the mountains and was like, "Damn, I'm in LA." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:29 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 16:29 Like, I, I'm m- you know?

Joe Rogan 16:31 Yeah. It's happening.

Lara Beitz 16:31 I loved it. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:32 It's happening. You're doing it.

Lara Beitz 16:33 Yeah. So I came back to life and... I don't know. It's interesting to me because it's like the same people who on, like, National Suicide Day will post about how important mental health is, and, "Come talk to me if you ever feel sad," this, that, and the other. And now a year in, it's like, why are people not talking about mental health? And why are those same people saying, like, "You're a piece of shit if you go see your friends"? You know what I mean? 'Cause like people are killing themselves.

Joe Rogan 17:00 They're killing themselves in record numbers. Uh, Swardson has a friend who works as a, um, a sheriff and said that there's... they would get like one suicide a week back in the day, and now they're getting five a week. And they, they were just overwhelmed by the, the number. It might have been one a month, and now it's five a week. But it's just, they're overwhelmed. People are... They're not counting that in terms of, like, the amount of people that have drug overdoses and die because they're depressed. They're not counting that.

Lara Beitz 17:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:29 And they, they think about the deaths and the, the toll, and they're not counting, like, how many people's lives have gone from... You know, they created a business, they worked hard for years and years, and then it's just been taken away from them through no fault of their own. You know?

Lara Beitz 17:43 Through no fault of their own, and there's no, like, severance for that. My friend, um, Katie is a nurse in Chicago, and she and I have been in contact f- through this whole thing. And it was... I mean, her hospital was teeming with COVID patients. She said now it's teeming with alcoholics who are having DTs. People who lost their jobs in September and have been drinking themselves to death all day in their homes. She said that she's never seen DTs this bad. Like she said, it's, it's crazy how many people are dying of alcoholism there.

Joe Rogan 18:17 Yeah, but-

Lara Beitz 18:18 'Cause they did, they stopped having AA meetings. Well, they're on...

Joe Rogan 18:21 Zoom?

Lara Beitz 18:22 They're on Zoom, but you have to have, like, the password. You have to, like, know a guy. You know what I-

Joe Rogan 18:28 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 18:28 And it, and it's also just not the same thing, and it's so inaccessible that it's costing people their lives.

Joe Rogan 18:34 Yeah, it's an... It's the undiscussed aspect.... of the pandemic. You know, it's, it's uncomfortable for people. When they think about the cost of the pandemic, they only think about how many people are going to get sick, how many people are going to be in the ICU. Th- that's something we have to absolutely consider, but you also have to consider what happens when you shut down the entire economy? Like, what are the other repercussions? And here's the big question, because this is the big experiment, how long is it gonna take before LA bounces back? Because LA's a big fucking city. And where's the money gonna come from? Like, where are you gonna have the money to open up all those businesses? They lost 75% of their restaurants. Like, how is the store and the improv, how are they gonna stay open for another year like this? Because those goofy, draconian motherfuckers that are keeping that place locked down, they're not gonna let it open. They're gonna maybe let them do some outside shows eventually, but like, right now, indoor shows are out of the question. So, how long is it gonna take? It's gonna take, unless people specifically talk about that in the recall for Gavin Newsom, specifically talk about comedy clubs. Until they do that, they're not g- people are specifically talking about restaurants, so they open up restaurants again. Like, he's panicking 'cause they're worried about h- him getting recalled, 'cause they've, they've gathered enough votes now.

Lara Beitz 19:48 Isn't the Comedy Store classified as a restaurant?

Joe Rogan 19:51 No, it's not. No, it's not. W-

Lara Beitz 19:53 Why, what makes a r- I mean, they serve food there. What's a restaurant-

Joe Rogan 19:56 Yeah, I think you need 51% of your money to come from food and drinks-

Lara Beitz 20:02 Damn.

Joe Rogan 20:02 ... versus ticket prices. It's something like that, something wacky, along those lines.

Lara Beitz 20:06 But it, it was when they were doing like, when comics were doing sets in the window.

Joe Rogan 20:11 Yeah. Um, I don't know what classifies it as a restaurant, but the problem is the live performance and the idea of comedy is you're all laughing, so when you're l- like, they're telling people not to scream at Disneyland.

Lara Beitz 20:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:25 Do you know that?

Lara Beitz 20:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:26 Yeah. They tell people, "When you go on rides, don't scream." Like, okay. I'm gonna mime it. I'm gonna, "Ah."

Lara Beitz 20:32 That's, that's so-

Narrator 20:34 They also tell you to keep your arms and hands down and no one ever fucking does that.

Joe Rogan 20:37 No one ever does that, right. Yeah, I hope people scream, set a protest. They're probably gonna stop people from screaming though, and they're probably gonna tell people. Because, you know, look, they don't want an inspector to come there and say, "Hey, people are screaming, we're gonna shut this place down." You know, they've, Disneyland's been closed for a fucking year and they're losing some insane amount of money. It's like $300 million a day or something crazy.

Lara Beitz 20:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:58 Like, it's nuts. I, I might have made that number, I pulled that right out of my ass. How much money is Disneyland losing per day while Disneyland's being closed? I think it might be 100 million. I, I really do. I think, I don't-

Lara Beitz 21:10 Isn't that what it costs for a churro at Disneyland? (laughs) Isn't a churro at Disneyland $100 million?

Joe Rogan 21:15 No, no, it's less. It's less than that. It's less than that.

Narrator 21:18 Um-

Lara Beitz 21:18 Yeah, there's gotta-

Joe Rogan 21:20 Let's guess before you, I say 100 million. What do you say?

Lara Beitz 21:23 Um, I'll say 50 million.

Joe Rogan 21:26 Okay. I like what you're doing, Price Is Right.

Lara Beitz 21:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:29 Let's go.

Lara Beitz 21:29 I just have no idea. 100 million seems-

Joe Rogan 21:32 I know. I read some-

Lara Beitz 21:32 If you guessed a million, I would've been like maybe, I would've probably guessed half of that. That just seems like so much money.

Joe Rogan 21:38 Oh, it's way more. It's way more than a million. Disneyland is huge and it's really fucking expensive. And then you got Disneyland and California Adventure all in the same park.

Lara Beitz 21:46 I've barely, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had more than $2,000 at once in my life, so I don't have a concept of what a million dollars is. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:55 It's a lot of money. But it's not a lot of money if you run a Disneyland. I mean, that's probably their fucking rent. What do you got, Jamie?

Narrator 22:02 It's giving me just Disney's overall, Disney's a gigantic company, so like-

Joe Rogan 22:06 Right.

Narrator 22:06 ... it's not breaking it down just for Disneyland unfortunately.

Joe Rogan 22:08 Did you, did you write, "Disneyland is losing..."?

Narrator 22:11 Uh, yes, yes. So now I'm looking. I'm just-

Joe Rogan 22:12 Per day?

Narrator 22:12 How much is Disneyland's daily revenue? And then you, that's-

Joe Rogan 22:15 No, no, no. Just say, "How much is Disneyland losing per day?"

Narrator 22:18 I, no I did.

Joe Rogan 22:18 It didn't give you everything?

Narrator 22:18 It's adding it all together with Disney the company and how much they lost in China and Orlando and the TV channels-

Joe Rogan 22:24 Hmm.

Narrator 22:24 ... and all the, every-

Joe Rogan 22:24 Did you write Disneyland?

Narrator 22:26 Yes.

Joe Rogan 22:26 Fuckers. I know there was an article. Jamie, you'll get it. I know you will. I have faith.

Lara Beitz 22:32 There's gotta-

Joe Rogan 22:33 You do?

Lara Beitz 22:33 ... be like a middle ground, you know? Where-

Joe Rogan 22:36 Yeah. Like, let people do whatever the fuck they want.

Lara Beitz 22:38 Like, let people do whatever the fuck they want and like, put those little dots where people can stand a little bit further apart. I think we should've been doing that anyway. I've always thought handshaking was disgusting.

Joe Rogan 22:48 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 22:48 I think we should all stop shaking hands for the rest of our lives. When I was looking back at my old material, I found two separate bits I tried to write about how shaking hands is nasty-

Joe Rogan 22:59 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 23:00 ... before COVID. I didn't even realize I felt that strongly about it, except that I did. I was always like a fist bumper or like, better yet, don't touch me.

Joe Rogan 23:09 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 23:10 After, after shows, you don't have to fucking touch me, dude. I've had men kiss me on my mouth after shows.

Joe Rogan 23:16 Oh, okay. That's rude.

Lara Beitz 23:16 I've had people like grab my stomach after show-

Joe Rogan 23:18 That's rude.

Lara Beitz 23:19 I've, like, people put their hands on me and try to touch me and I'm like, "We don't... It's, it's germs."

Joe Rogan 23:24 Men have kissed you on your mouth? How many?

Lara Beitz 23:27 One. Took me a while to add that up.

Joe Rogan 23:29 (laughs)

Narrator 23:29 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 23:30 Well, I tried to fish. I was like, I mean, men have kissed me on my face. One guy kissed me on my mouth, but I was pushing him off of me and yelling, "Stop. What the fuck are you doing?" And like, the people with him were like laughing. And I was like, "What the fuck is your problem? This is not..." I, I snapped on him. I yelled at him. And then I didn't shake anyone's hands after that.

Joe Rogan 23:50 That's the difference between being a woman comic and being a male comic. Dudes have never tried to kiss me. I've never had a guy try to kiss me.

Lara Beitz 23:56 (laughs) I honestly don't even believe you.

Narrator 23:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:58 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 23:58 I feel like dudes have tried to kiss you. I feel like you've probably been kissed on the mouth by more women after your shows.

Joe Rogan 24:02 30 or 40 guys. Uh, a couple women have tried to kiss me.

Lara Beitz 24:05 There you go.

Joe Rogan 24:06 But it's not threatening, you know? That's the difference. It's not dangerous.

Lara Beitz 24:08 That's just 'cause you're into it. Just 'cause you're into it doesn't mean-

Joe Rogan 24:11 Ah. No, it's not dangerous. Like, they can't really rape me. You know what I'm saying?

Lara Beitz 24:16 I feel threatened on your behalf, but I respect your right to feel safe.

Joe Rogan 24:20 Thank you very much.

Lara Beitz 24:20 I'm glad that you feel safe.

Joe Rogan 24:22 I appreciate you feeling threatened on my behalf, but my point is like, a woman is not physically scary to me.

Lara Beitz 24:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:27 Where a man is physically scary to a woman. Here it goes.

Narrator 24:30 Deep info.

Joe Rogan 24:31 Uh, okay, here it goes. 12 million per day. Wow, I'm way off.

Narrator 24:36 Yeah. That's just for Disneyland though.

Joe Rogan 24:38 (laughs) ... 12 million per day- (laughs)

Narrator 24:40 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:40 ... based on 20- God, it was like 300 million. Coronavirus closures cost Disneyland 7.9 million per day and Disneyland California Adventure 4.1 million per day.

Narrator 24:51 Yeah. It's-

Lara Beitz 24:52 Damn, I didn't realize-

Narrator 24:53 ... 25 million in, in Orlando. So when you start adding-

Lara Beitz 24:55 Oh.

Narrator 24:55 ... it all up it starts getting to be more and more and more.

Joe Rogan 24:56 Walt Disney World in Florida lost 25 million per day.

Narrator 25:00 That's way bigger though.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Oh, interesting. Magic Kingdom, 8.8 million per day. Animal Kingdom, 5.8 million per day. EPCOT, 5.2, and Hollywood Studios, 4.8. Oof. Okay. I was way off. I was gonna go with a billion a day. How about that? No. (laughs)

Lara Beitz 25:16 A billion? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:18 So what is it, 14? Is that what it said, 14 million a day?

Lara Beitz 25:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:21 That's still a shitload of money. Add that over 365 days and you got a lot of cheddar. So that's three-

Narrator 25:28 It's two- 250 million a week.

Joe Rogan 25:30 Yeah. Yeah. That's billions.

Lara Beitz 25:34 Damn.

Joe Rogan 25:34 Billions of dollars. Just 'cause someone told them they have to shut do- I mean, they would've definitely lost money, period. There's no way to not lose some money. Everybody lost some money, but to lose that much money is just preposterous.

Lara Beitz 25:46 Well, and then if you think about those workers, think about how much they could possibly be collecting in unemployment-

Joe Rogan 25:54 Mm-hmm.

Lara Beitz 25:54 ... and it's gotta be 100 bucks a week. I mean, it's gotta be so low if they were minimum wage workers, 'cause you just get a fraction of that. And where can you live on 100 bucks a week?

Joe Rogan 26:05 Right.

Lara Beitz 26:05 Like, where can you pay rent? What room can you r- what closet can you rent? I'm not talking about having your own apartment.

Joe Rogan 26:11 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 26:11 I'm saying, like, where can you live for that amount of money?

Joe Rogan 26:13 You can't. You can't. You have to live with your parents and you have to hope they g- they can pay their mortgage. It's interesting, like, what we just did there is basically what's happening in California in terms of fear of COVID. Like, when there's a person that ramps it up so high, like $100 million a day... You came in at 50 million a day, right? That was your estimate after I came in with 100 million a day, but meanwhile we're both way off.

Lara Beitz 26:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:41 Like, that's, in a sense, like what ha- In California, everyone's like, "We're all gonna die. Everyone's gonna die." And then if you're reasonable, you're like, "No, only like 30% of us are gonna die." And then you're like, wait a minute, n- it's not even that.

Lara Beitz 26:53 (laughs) 30% would be wild. That's what-

Joe Rogan 26:55 Wild.

Lara Beitz 26:55 ... like the bubonic plague killed.

Joe Rogan 26:57 Well, that was what a lot of people were seriously worried about.

Lara Beitz 26:59 Really?

Joe Rogan 27:00 Like, I've had people express to me today that 5% of people that get COVID die. I'm like, "Bro, that's not possible."

Lara Beitz 27:07 That's not true. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:08 That's not true. It's not true. It's less than 1%. And then you also have the problem of die from COVID or die with COVID, because most people who die have an average of 2.6 comorbidities, and I think they've recently elevated that. I think it's more than that now. Um, which means they have either diabetes or some, some other cancer, some, some other disease that makes, makes them extremely vulnerable. Then they get COVID and then they die of it. Doesn't mean you should minimize the fact that they died, and COVID definitely killed them because if it wasn't for COVID they would've probably stayed alive, but they were not doing good already. And that's a lot of us. That's the problem. And they don't fucking say shit about that. They don't say shit about, "You should take vitamins. You should exercise." Like, you took it upon yourself to lose weight, and that's really important because almost 80% of the people that were hospitalized from COVID were obese, almost 80%. It was like 78%.

Lara Beitz 28:02 That's what my friend Katie said, you know? I asked her what she was seeing in Chicago and she said that it was obese men and people of color.

Joe Rogan 28:12 People of color it's because of vitamin D.

Lara Beitz 28:14 Really?

Joe Rogan 28:15 Yeah. Yeah, because, uh, pe- Uh, darker folks, their, their melanin actually protects them from the sun, but makes them generate less vitamin D. My friend who's a doctor worked in New York and he said he would experience, uh, when they were testing folks, he would experience some folks that were Black that had undetectable levels of vitamin D, because they never went out in the sun and it was cloudy out and so... And they didn't supplement, so they literally had undetectable levels of vitamin D some of the people that came in there that were sick.

Lara Beitz 28:45 So here's a question that I have had on my mind is if obese people were prioritized for the vaccine, why were people of color not also prioritized for the vaccine?

Joe Rogan 28:55 Well, what they should've been is given vitamin D, you know? I mean, and, and not just given vitamin D, but everybody should've been told from the beginning, like, vitamin D plays a critical role. 84% of the people that were in the ICU with COVID were deficient in vitamin D. Only 4% had sufficient levels of vitamin D, people that were in the ICU with COVID. And that's a big problem with the entire country because human beings aren't designed to be indoors. This is not normal to be covered with clothes. We're supposed to be outside doing shit. That's how the, the human body evolved over hundreds of thousands of years. So this whole environment that we're living in is terrible for the generation of vitamin D. The only other way to get vitamin D is to take it in pill form. That's the only other way. You either get it from the sun, your body generates it, or you have to take it. There's no other way to get it.

Lara Beitz 29:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:42 And it's actually a hormone. Vitamin D is a hormone. It's not even really a vitamin. It's a crazy... And it's responsible for so many things. It's responsible for brain function, muscle growth, your immune system. It's... And, but they don't tell you that.

Lara Beitz 29:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:56 There's no... You don't, you don't see Guercetti on TV saying, "Folks, this is what we found out. Look, look at these s- charts and statistics about people that have suffered from it. It's really important to take vitamin D." They didn't say that.

Lara Beitz 30:08 Yeah, I did all that. I went outside and I started taking it and I lost weight. I didn't wanna... And I, and I haven't gotten it.

Joe Rogan 30:17 Good.

Lara Beitz 30:19 But I don't-

Joe Rogan 30:19 Katie, aren't you happy you lost weight? Do you feel, like, lighter?

Lara Beitz 30:21 I (laughs) feel lighter. That's exactly how I feel.

Joe Rogan 30:24 Can you move it around?

Lara Beitz 30:24 Yeah, dude. Well, it's like, it's the equivalent of, like, eight bags of potatoes. And if I think about what it would be like to carry that around in a backpack, like, through an airport and then get to set it down...

Joe Rogan 30:36 Well, how about, Kate, one of those- take one of those 45 pound plates? That's a heavy fucking weight, like-

Lara Beitz 30:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:41 ... that you put on a, like a, a barbell?... one of those big ones-

Lara Beitz 30:45 My-

Joe Rogan 30:45 ... that's what you lost.

Lara Beitz 30:46 My ankle weights and my hand weights together are 20 pounds, and if I think about carrying that times two-

Joe Rogan 30:54 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 30:54 ... even across a room, I would-

Joe Rogan 30:57 Annoying.

Lara Beitz 30:57 ... I would be tired, yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:58 And that's what you were doing.

Lara Beitz 30:59 And I feel so much better. I mean, I had had back pain from the time that I was a teenager. I'd had joint pain, and I thought that I was just gonna have it for my whole life 'cause I didn't think I was heavy enough that it was affecting my joints. And that pain is all gone. And, um, and it makes sense to me, 'cause again, if I carry around a heavy bag through an airport, like, my back will hurt at the end of the day if I do that right now.

Joe Rogan 31:25 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 31:25 And to have to carry that weight around everywhere I go, everything I do, even just sitting, having that extra weight, like, I just don't want it back.

Joe Rogan 31:35 I-

Lara Beitz 31:35 And I think part of it might be 'cause I stopped eating flour and sugar, which I've heard are inflammatory as well, so I think part of it might be that. But the other thing is just getting to set down the weight and feel awesome.

Joe Rogan 31:46 I think both are factors, yeah, for sure. I mean, definitely, the, the, the wei- it's just logical that the weight's a factor, but for sure sugar and, and flour and, and any processed foods like that cause inflammation. So what did you do for exercise?

Lara Beitz 31:59 Um, I play tennis and swim and I do workouts, um, that Stacia Patwall created. She was a comic, she ran a show at the store, and she's a trainer, and she started doing these classes on Zoom for female comics. And a bunch of us have had before and after (laughs) transformations where, like, a bunch of fat comics have gotten hot because of her workouts.

Joe Rogan 32:25 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 32:26 She's onto something, dude. She's so fucking funny and she can, like, work you out for an hour where I'm just, like, laughing. I feel like I'm hanging out with a friend. And she has this specific brand of tough love where she'll, like, she'll call, she'll call me a pussy, like, right before I'm about to drop out of a plank, and she'll be like, "The world has enough pussies. Don't be a bitch."

Joe Rogan 32:46 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 32:46 "Don't bitch out."

Joe Rogan 32:47 What is her name again?

Lara Beitz 32:48 Stacia Patwall, S-T-A-C-I-A P-A-T-W-E-L-L.

Joe Rogan 32:52 Does she have an Instagram?

Lara Beitz 32:53 Yeah, and her Instagram is just that. It's all one word.

Joe Rogan 32:56 Jamie will find it.

Lara Beitz 32:57 She's a fucking monster and she called her thing School of Thot, T-H-O-T.

Joe Rogan 33:02 Oh, (laughs) T-H-O-T, that's hilarious.

Lara Beitz 33:03 She's-

Joe Rogan 33:04 School of Thot.

Lara Beitz 33:04 ... a beast, dude. And look.

Joe Rogan 33:06 Is that her right there?

Lara Beitz 33:06 Yeah, she has the transformations in her highlights.

Joe Rogan 33:09 All right.

Lara Beitz 33:10 She's so fucking funny, dude. She's- ... nostalgic for Boston in the '90s right now. Yeah, she'll yell at you in her, like- ... watched some Mark Wahlberg movies yesterday- ... Long Island accent. ... and now I'm like, "Fuck you." And something about it, I wouldn't tolerate half the shit she says to me from- Nothing better than East Coast in the '90s, I'm telling you what. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:25 Some of it wasn't funny? (laughs)

Lara Beitz 33:27 Oh, there I am. Look at that.

Joe Rogan 33:29 There you are. Wow.

Lara Beitz 33:29 Oopsy-doopsy, Bitsy's in a bra.

Joe Rogan 33:31 Dude.

Lara Beitz 33:31 Uh-oh.

Joe Rogan 33:32 Go to the far right. Look at her. Dude, you lost so much weight. That's crazy.

Lara Beitz 33:36 Got my little cats in the background that I adopted so I wouldn't open-

Joe Rogan 33:39 Go crazy.

Lara Beitz 33:39 ... my wrists in a bathtub. There we go.

Joe Rogan 33:41 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 33:41 There she is. I did not know I was that fat. Boy, do I have egg on my face.

Joe Rogan 33:47 What, what did you think?

Lara Beitz 33:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:49 You just didn't check?

Lara Beitz 33:50 I thought, I thought I had 25 pounds to lose, and so I set... I mean, I'm comfortable talking about numbers, so my top weight was 180. I set my goal weight at 155 and now I'm 142.5.

Joe Rogan 34:04 Wow.

Lara Beitz 34:05 And I'm not... I'm in a healthy weight range, so if my body stops, like, easily losing weight, then I'll be like, "Okay, this is the weight that my body wants to be." But it's still, I'm still losing weight and it's not protesting. I'm certainly not starving myself.

Joe Rogan 34:19 That's awesome.

Lara Beitz 34:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:21 So it was just a matter of eating the right food and just forcing yourself to do rigorous exercise.

Lara Beitz 34:26 Yeah, I joined a support group for overeaters, and I weigh, measure, and write down every single thing I put in my body and eat balanced portions that were given to me by a dietician. So I measure out, like, protein, grains, fruits and vegetables, fats, and then my goal that I, uh, that I try for is to be in a caloric deficit of about 250 calories a day, which averages out to, uh, about a half a pound a week of weight loss. And I don't do it perfectly, but, like, that's enough where I'm not starving all the time. I'm satiated, but, so it's sustainable, but I'm also, like, steadily losing weight. And it's been, I mean, I haven't had pizza in a year. Like, I haven't had any added flour, any added sugar-

Joe Rogan 35:15 Wow.

Lara Beitz 35:16 ... in, um, like 10 months.

Joe Rogan 35:18 Well, you're a disciplined person. You know, I really admire your work ethic, and I, uh, I know I've told you this before-

Lara Beitz 35:24 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 35:24 ... 'cause you would come to the store with your notebooks. I'm like, "Look at y-" Your notebook is like... You're fucking, like, meticulous. Like, all your shit would be, like, super written out, and so many comics are so impulsive and sort of scatterbrained and they don't focus, and I really admire that you're focused. I, I always admired that. I thought it was cool.

Lara Beitz 35:44 Thank you so much. I admire that about you too, so that means so much (laughs) coming from you.

Joe Rogan 35:48 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 35:48 I admire your work ethic. Yeah, I pretty much, like, took the energy that I had been putting into standup and just applied that same thing to this, 'cause it's like if you really wanna do something, why fuck around? Why waste the effort?

Joe Rogan 36:03 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 36:03 Like, what would be the point? And I spent so long trying to, like, diet without weighing and measuring and having, like, an intention that it's like I just put up a shitload of boundaries to where it was un-fuck-up-able-

Joe Rogan 36:17 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 36:17 ... because I believe in taking, like, little actions in the direction of the thing that you want, but it doesn't help me if I'm like, "I'm gonna try to just eat better," which is such a general concept. And then if I'm stepping on the scale once a week, then what happens when my weight is up? I'm... Because as it stands now, I'll step on the scale and my weight could be up three pounds, and that's fine, and I don't trip because I wrote everything down, I know that I'm in a caloric deficit, and I know it's water or salt- whatever, I don't understand that stuff, but-... then I step on the scale the next week and it'll be down, you know?

Joe Rogan 36:52 Mm-hmm.

Lara Beitz 36:52 And so, I thought that like a weight loss chart went like that, but it really goes like that, and I think especially for women. I mean, mine's just been up, down, up, down, up, down, but the general trend is, you know, 38 pounds later-

Joe Rogan 37:06 If you could take the energy that you... Like, the good that you feel from losing weight and get- getting healthy, and just somehow or another, like put it in a VR, like put it in someone's head. Like, "Feel... Just fucking feel this. Just feel this. Ready? Put it on." Like, "Oh my God, I feel so good." Like, you can get there. You can get there. Like, you can get there. But the problem is everybody wants to get there so quick. They wanna get there immediately. They wanna take a pill, they wanna listen to Dr. Oz, they wanna get there quick. You can't fucking get there quick.

Lara Beitz 37:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:33 It doesn't work. And it... That... The crazy thing is, like, you gotta get sick the same way... Or you gotta get better the same way you got sick. Like, it takes time to get overweight, and it takes time to lose weight. Like, you... If... You're not gonna just starve yourself and lose it all, 'cause your body's gonna go in a deficit, you're gonna freak out, your metabolism's gonna crash. Then when you eat, you're gonna pack it on quick 'cause your body's gonna be like, "Oh my God, we- we- we might starve to death. Like, I have to slow my metabolism down."

Lara Beitz 38:00 Yeah. I think a huge part of it too is like, the action has to be the reward. So like, I love doing my workouts-

Joe Rogan 38:07 Right.

Lara Beitz 38:07 ... because she makes me laugh. It's built right into my routine. I eat my oatmeal, I meditate, and then I do one of her workouts. And it d-... It feels good. It feels good for my body. And, um... And the same thing with food. Like, I don't eat most of my favorite foods from before anymore, but I love everything I do eat 'cause I've learned how to cook stuff, brown rice, vegetables, proteins. I've learned how to cook food the way that it tastes good to me. And so, I'm not doing workouts I hate, I'm not eating food that I hate, and so it's sustainable.

Joe Rogan 38:45 That's awesome.

Lara Beitz 38:45 (laughs) I threw this off the table.

Joe Rogan 38:46 Came cr-... You got crazy. Got a little crazy there.

Lara Beitz 38:48 It's sustainable.

Joe Rogan 38:49 Shh. J... Everybody gets electrocuted.

Lara Beitz 38:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:53 Yeah. It's, uh, it's good to see. I'm very happy for you.

Lara Beitz 38:55 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 38:56 What... You- you got that heavy fucking Midwest accent, that Chicago accent, right? Is that where you from? Where you from?

Lara Beitz 39:02 I'm from Milwaukee.

Joe Rogan 39:03 Yeah. It's that same thing, that Midwest. You know, just like you could tell, you know?

Lara Beitz 39:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:08 You know what I'm saying?

Lara Beitz 39:09 I mean, it's funny. I don't, I don't hear it, you know? Like, I believe you.

Joe Rogan 39:15 I think you have it less now than when I met you. I think when I met you... How long have you been at the Store?

Lara Beitz 39:20 Um, I got past seven months before COVID.

Joe Rogan 39:25 Here's a good story. Uh, Laura was on stage once, and Bert Kreischer and I were coming from, uh, we did a show in the main room. Then we had a couple of cocktails in the comedian's bar, and we were hanging out. And we were walking by, and just on a whim, we decided to walk into the OR. And, uh, you were fucking slaying. And there was like maybe... I don't know. How many people were in there? 10? 15? Something like that.

Lara Beitz 39:48 (laughs) Small.

Joe Rogan 39:49 And it doubled by the time your set was over. And we were howling. And I remember we came up to you afterwards. I even put it on my Instagram. I put it on my Instagram how funny you were. And, uh... And then Adam got super excited 'cause he loves you. Adam Eget. And we, we were all talking about it. But when... Those moments are so important to me. When you see someone in front of a small crowd that is on late at night, and that fucking audience has seen everything. They've been there... A lot of those people have been there from the beginning of the night, so they've been there from 8:00. And here we were, like... What was it? Like, 1:00 or something like that?

Lara Beitz 40:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:25 It was late. And here we were at 1:00 AM and you were killing. And I was like, "Wow." That's... It's... That's, that's the real thing, you know? That's the re-... That's... Those are like the moments of the beginning that like... Those are the roots of a real career.

Lara Beitz 40:44 Thank you so much. It's so funny because, um, I am so glad that I didn't know that you and Bert were watching (laughs) 'cause I remember that set, and I remember I was trying new stuff. And I remember talking to audience members like, "I tried a punchline and it didn't work." And I remember having a conversation with them about it and being like, "Did that not work? Did you not get it?" Like, "Do you not know what I meant?" Or "Did you get it and you didn't think it was funny?" And they were like, "We don't really know what you're talking about." And so I explained it and then, changed that joke or cut that joke. But I would never... If I knew you guys were watching, I would have done a polished 15 minutes. I woulda done my best material. Um, so thank you. I mean, you're very generous and you're very kind because that wasn't like, uh... It was not a TV-ready set. I wasn't fucking around.

Joe Rogan 41:39 It didn't have to be. It was late night at the Store. It's... You're better off not doing a TV-ready set because they've already seen everything polished. They want real. That was one of the good things about it is they're like, "Why didn't that fucking joke work?"

Lara Beitz 41:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:51 You know (laughs) ? And you were just loose. You were loose and you were angry and y-... It was raw and it was like... It was... Uh, we were laughing hard. We laughed really hard.

Lara Beitz 42:01 Thank you.

Joe Rogan 42:01 We both talked about it afterwards, you know? I'm like, "Damn, she's fucking good." 'Cause it's... I still love comedy. I still love watching new people. I still love it. I love w-... I love the whole... And I've been doing it for so long, but I still love watching the process. I still love Kill Tony. I love watching those new people do one minute. I love when they kill. I love it.

Lara Beitz 42:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:24 I... Those... I love seeing... Like, it- it reignites my passion for it.

Lara Beitz 42:29 Yeah. I was talking to, um, Dillivin s-... Dillivin? Dylan Sullivan about that last night, about how the OR was so fun because you can watch people be so funny and you can watch them bomb, being hilarious at like, 1:00 in the morning. And those are the- my two favorite things about standup are watching people be hilarious and then separately watching them-Eat shit is hilarious.

Joe Rogan 42:54 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 42:54 To watch someone tell a joke to a bunch of people and have no one laugh, it's hilarious. (laughs) It's hilarious and-

Joe Rogan 43:01 That makes me the most uncomfortable.

Lara Beitz 43:03 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 43:04 The worst thing is when you go on the road and you don't pick your opening acts and, uh, I started bringing people on the road with me for two reasons. One, because I wanted someone to hang out with, selfishly. I mean, I, I wanted... Also, I wanted my friends to get work, you know? And then I got to a point where I could hire people to come with me. But two, when someone is, is terrible and they go on before you, you get confused. You're like, "Oh my God, maybe comedy doesn't work. Maybe it's not real. Maybe nothing's funny." Like, sometimes you'd be in, like, Florida or something like that, in Tampa, and not to single out Tampa, but someone would go on stage-

Lara Beitz 43:37 That's so specific. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:37 ... and they'd be so bad. I worked one time with this guy that he was... The middle act was so bad that I was baffled. I was like, "I don't think there's anything funny. There's nothing funny." Like I had to, I had to close myself. He, have you ever been to Tampa?

Lara Beitz 43:50 No.

Joe Rogan 43:50 The fucking green room's on the third floor. So there's three floors. So I would close myself in the green room and then have to time out when this fucking guy was getting off stage and then run down to the bottom because I couldn't listen. 'Cause if, if you listen to a bad act, it'll fuck your head up. It really will 'cause, like, your timing will be off and it's like... There's a thing called... I don't know if this is real, but I read about it once. No, I didn't read about it once. Someone was talking about it. I never researched it. It's called allophrenia and the idea was that if you talk to someone who's schizophrenic, like, if you talk to them long enough, it's possible that you could start exhibiting signs of schizophrenia. So the... I think the conversation was someone was talking about visiting someone in the hospital and that if you... There's, there's been cases where people go to visit people who are schizophrenic and they spend time with that person and then the, the staff starts looking at them and goes, "Hey, are you okay?" Like, you start acting fucking weird 'cause you're around this person, maybe it's someone you love or care about and you're there with them and they're out of their fucking mind and the, the idea... And I don't... Look up allophrenia. See if that's real. Yeah, I've listened to it. Yeah, it's called a shared psychotic disorder is what-

Lara Beitz 45:02 There we go.

Joe Rogan 45:02 ... it changes it to.

Lara Beitz 45:03 Okay. A shared psychotic disorder is a rare type of mental illness in which a healthy person starts to take on the delusions of someone who has a psychotic disorder, such as schizophrenia. For example, let's say your spouse has a psychotic disorder and as a part of that illness believes aliens are spying on them. Well, what? Hey. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:23 Why is this so fucking specific? Are you trying to tell me something, Jamie? If you have a shared psychotic disorder, you'll start to believe in the spying aliens. But apart from that, your thoughts and behavior are normal. People with psychotic disorders have trouble staying in touch with reality and often can't handle daily life. The most obvious symptoms are hallucinations, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, um, I almost feel like that happens when you watch bad comedy. Like, you will absorb whatever fucking craziness that makes them think that material's any good. And it scares the shit out of me.

Lara Beitz 45:55 That-

Joe Rogan 45:55 Something new? Groups of pe- It can happen in groups of people, like what you're saying. Oh. Groups of people, so cults. Yeah.

Lara Beitz 46:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:02 Or being in a comedy show and watching-

Lara Beitz 46:04 Oh.

Joe Rogan 46:04 ... all watching it together.

Lara Beitz 46:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 46:05 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 46:06 There you go. That reminds me of another phenomenon. They did a study called Being Sane in Insane Places, where a person who was sane checked into a mental hospital and they had to end the study early because the psychological damage that the person endured was so great that it became unethical. So he would be like... He would just ask a nurse, like, "Hey, could I have a piece of paper to, like, write something down?" And she would be like, "Patient engaged in writing behavior." Like, everything... Or he would be like, "Hey, could I talk about, like, grounds privileges?" And the nurse would be like, "Hi, James. It's nice to see you." And then walk away and the dude started to go insane. And the way that I connect that to that is, like, the audiences then expect you to suck. The audiences treat you the way that they treated-

Joe Rogan 46:53 Right.

Lara Beitz 46:53 ... the shitty comedian and that's the worst part. People know who you are. They know you're funny. People don't know who I am and so-

Joe Rogan 47:00 At the time when I was in Tampa, they didn't know me either.

Lara Beitz 47:02 'Cause that's the bitch is when-

Joe Rogan 47:04 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 47:04 ... is when people see a comedian who sucks-

Joe Rogan 47:07 Right.

Lara Beitz 47:07 ... and then another comic gets on stage, they don't know who you are either. They assume you're at the level of the person who just went up-

Joe Rogan 47:13 Yeah, they're upset. They paid money-

Lara Beitz 47:14 ... and sucked, so they're not gonna laugh at your stuff that are... Plus, they're not warm.

Joe Rogan 47:17 And they've had a few drinks and they're just like, "What the fuck am I doing with my night?"

Lara Beitz 47:21 Yeah, it's brutal.

Joe Rogan 47:21 I worked all day and some mediocre shithead's on stage spouting out nonsense.

Lara Beitz 47:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:27 Yeah, well, you gotta think also when you think about that study, what's it like living with an insane mother or father, right? Like, that's gotta rub off on people. If you're... There's probably people that don't have whatever it is that causes a mental disorder, but then they live with someone who does and that someone imparts that on them just by virtue of living in this house where you're with a fucking insane person.

Lara Beitz 47:54 Yeah, absolutely. I think it also happens with homeless people. I think that there are people who have been getting treated like they're crazy for so long-

Joe Rogan 48:05 Yes.

Lara Beitz 48:05 ... that it drives them crazy 'cause I can't imagine asking someone for something or talking to someone and having the person just, like, fix their eyes and keep walking, you know?

Joe Rogan 48:17 Yeah. I had a really good friend when I lived in New York who was semi-homeless. He was homeless sometimes and not other times. He was a, a pool hustler and, uh, I actually met him in a pool hall and he became literally one of my best friends and stayed on my couch a lot of times and sometimes he would stay on my couch, he would snore so loud 'cause he hadn't slept in days.

Lara Beitz 48:35 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 48:36 It was crazy. And, um, I moved to LA. He stayed in New York and I didn't see him for a while and then I went to, uh, New York to do this thing and, uh, I went to do this TV thing and he came to meet me there and I just... In my mind, it was me hanging out with my friend Johnny. It was normal, but...... for him, one of the things that he was saying to me, he goes, "Dude, I gotta tell you, man. This is..." Like, 'cause there was a bunch of, you know, crew and all that. He goes, "This is, like, the only time in years where people have been nice to me."

Lara Beitz 49:09 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:09 He goes, "'Cause I'm with you, I'm hanging around. Like, everybody's nice to me." And then it made me think, like, "Oh, this guy gets treated like shit everywhere because he's, like, basically sleeping in flop houses or these hostels or anywhere he can when he- if he can get the money." He had a serious drug problem that wound up killing him. And I remember th- I've- I've never forgot that. Like, he was saying, like, "Ugh, this is crazy, man. Like, people are being nice to me here. Like, no one's ever nice to me." And I remember thinking, like, "Why is no one nice to you? You're a great guy." And then I, I'm like, "How fucking weird is my thinking?" Like, I'm doing a t- I've- you know, I was friends with this guy. I was a struggling comedian. He was a pool hustler. And then years later, I'm on a TV show and I come to New York to film this TV show and I hang out with my old friend, but he's still the same guy doing the same kind of things, and maybe even worse off, because his health is failing and his- he's just deep, deep into the drugs.

Lara Beitz 50:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:03 And, you know, we're hanging out and, you know, he's like, "I can't believe... This is like the only times anyone's ever been nice to me. Been a long time since people have been nice to me." And I'd be like, "Whoa." Like, imagine going through your day, all day long people are barking at you, treating you like shit. You're staying in these homeless shelters or flop houses with all these other crazy people and they're yelling at you, and...

Lara Beitz 50:26 Damn. So... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:28 It's heavy.

Lara Beitz 50:29 Do you have, like, successful person's guilt? Like, is it weird for you to see people from your past?

Joe Rogan 50:37 No. 'Cause-

Lara Beitz 50:39 That's cool?

Joe Rogan 50:39 No. You can't... Gotta keep moving. Can't worry about that, 'cause for sure I've been, like, super fortunate, for sure. No doubt about it. But I also work pretty hard. It's like, um... I know that I've been very lucky, but I also know that I've taken advantage of moments and made the best out of them because I'm obsessive and I work real hard. And I think a lot of people have learned from that. I think I've- I've, uh, showed a lot of people that are in my life and a lot of people are... Like, y- like, you gotta work. Like, that's how you get things done in this life. You can get by on talent and you can get by on- on- on brashness. There's a lot of things that you could pull off in this world where you can kind of, like, skirt the system, but really, you're better off working too. Like, even if you have all those things, and I've- I've- I've always kind of been impulsive and kind of crazy, but I also work. I work really hard at everything I do. I've always done that. So I don't... Because of that, I don't really feel that guilty.

Lara Beitz 51:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:39 You know? But I do feel obligated to help. I've always felt like r- especially as I've gotten more and more successful, I felt more and more obligated to help. Like, I'm always trying to help friends. I'm always trying to help people. I'm always trying to, like... That's one of the things that I've done with- that- tried to do really well with this podcast is, like, boost people's signal that I think are really good and really funny or interesting or whatever. Like, I think, uh, that's very important to me.

Lara Beitz 52:00 Yeah. I have the vast majority of my Instagram followers because (laughs) of you.

Joe Rogan 52:04 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 52:04 Because of that Instagram post that you did.

Joe Rogan 52:07 That's hilarious. Wait until after this.

Lara Beitz 52:08 But, uh... (laughs) Um...

Joe Rogan 52:12 Let me tell you one more story about my friend?

Lara Beitz 52:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:15 Uh, I was on a television show called News Radio, and I was on it for... It was 99 episodes we wound up doing, right? But, um, I was- two of them I wasn't on. One of them was the pilot and the other one was another episode where I had one part, but it didn't work, so they cut it out. It was an ensemble cast. There was eight people in the cast. So my friend was arrested and he was, uh... They put him in a mental institution. And, uh, he's- so he's in this mental institution and, uh, he's, uh, watching TV. He's like, "Yo, yo, yo. My boy's on this show. My boy's on this show. I'm gonna show you my friend." So he's watching News Radio. It was the one episode where I wasn't on. So it gets to the end of the episode...

Lara Beitz 52:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:57 And he's a fucking- he goes, "Bro, I'm in paper slippers." And he goes, "I'm in this fucking mental institution with all these, like, legitimate crazy people." And he goes, "I'm not crazy. I'm just on drugs, right? And I'm hanging out with these fucking crazy people." And at the end of the sh- the TV show, the credits roll, and you weren't on the fucking episode. And they get- they're like, "Yo, go get your medication. Go get your fucking medication."

Lara Beitz 53:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:20 "You don't know anybody on TV." We were crying laughing. We thought it was so funny. But the one episode where he was in a mental health s- health institute, the one ep-

Lara Beitz 53:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:29 He was only in it for a week. That one episode was the one episode where I wasn't on the show.

Lara Beitz 53:33 (laughs) That's hilarious. That sucks.

Joe Rogan 53:37 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 53:37 He coulda just been like, "No, I know that guy."

Joe Rogan 53:39 (exhales)

Lara Beitz 53:41 Like a different dude.

Joe Rogan 53:42 When he died, it was like the sad- like, as sad as I've ever been in my life. It was so sad. I found out from my friend Tommy, who I'm still friends with, who lives back in, uh, Connecticut. And he told me and I was just devastated. I just couldn't believe it. I hadn't talked to him in a couple of weeks and he died of an overdose somewhere. It's horrible. It's just so sad. Just so just, like, gripping sad where you're just like... There's nothing I could ever have done. I tried so hard to get him off drugs so many times, you know? And this is, like, back when I didn't even smoke pot back then. I would just, like, occasionally have a drink, but I was, like, pretty, like, straight edge. I was just, like- like, super obsessed with being successful and working out all the time and- and he was my f- crazy drug addict friend, you know?

Lara Beitz 54:30 Yeah. That's... I'm so sorry. And there is nothing that you can do-

Joe Rogan 54:36 Nothing you can do.

Lara Beitz 54:36 ... to save someone else from their own addiction.

Joe Rogan 54:40 No. No, there's nothing you can do. I mean, you just hope. You hope that one day, like... You know, people, they take turns in life where they say, "I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not gambling. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not doing..." Whatever it is. "You know, I'm not doing coke." Whatever the fuck it is. Sometimes people just, they- they just hit these plateaus and then they're- they're done with it, you know?... I always hoped. And I always hoped, I always hoped that he would just one day go, "I'm done. I'm, I'm gonna get my shit together." You know?

Lara Beitz 55:08 Yeah. And there's no, like, predicting who's gonna get it and who's not. Like, there are people who go in and out of recovery, and then one day it clicks.

Joe Rogan 55:18 Mm-hmm.

Lara Beitz 55:19 Um, my dad was, like, quitting stuff for my whole life, and, and, and eventually got sober in jail when I was 12.

Joe Rogan 55:27 (sighs)

Lara Beitz 55:27 And was sober for the rest of my life. He was sober for the next 12 years, until he died when I was 24. And I don't think that anyone ever really expected him to stop drinking, you know? So it's, like, worth having hope for people, but also, my mom didn't argue him into finally quitting drinking. I didn't beg him into finally quitting drinking. Nobody convinced him except for, like, his own misery of, like, losing his family and then being in jail. You know?

Joe Rogan 56:02 You, you used to party hard.

Lara Beitz 56:06 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:08 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 56:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:09 What made you?

Lara Beitz 56:12 (sighs) Um ...

Joe Rogan 56:13 Do you think it's a genetic thing?

Lara Beitz 56:15 Yeah, I do. I think it's a genetic thing. I think that there also can be an environmental component, you know? I, I know that some things that I liked about it were, it, it made me feel comfortable talking to people. Um, crowds have always been kinda draining for me, large crowds, especially if it's, like, people I don't know. Um, and I felt like I could talk to guys for the first time when I started drinking. But then I couldn't stop drinking once I started drinking. So I would be, like, laid out on a bathroom floor with the guys I liked, like, stepping over me-

Joe Rogan 56:51 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 56:51 ... to p- to pee, you know? It just got real ... That's how it always went. I'd feel-

Joe Rogan 56:57 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 56:57 There'd be, like, a moment in the night where I was like, "Oh yeah, I'm fucking hot." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:03 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 57:03 And then I'd have, like, throw-up in my ear and be fucking pissing someone's futon. So it just was always real rough, and there was a period of time for, like, years, where I woke up and started drinking and drank all day and was a blackout drinker every night. Um, and then I actually had a, a boyfriend, and I quit drinking for him, and then I started again. And it just was always, like, it always went back to the same place. Like, I tried quitting w- I tried quitting every year since I started. I started drinking pretty much daily when I was 17, and then got sober when I was 29 and haven't had, um, a drink or a drug since. But my bottom wasn't when I stopped. When I stopped was just when I was done. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:55 Hmm.

Lara Beitz 57:55 It's an interesting thing. But my last drink was actually just, like, a couple sips of a friend's beer. And then I just was like, I, I just, something clicked and I knew I couldn't do it by myself, and I was willing to accept help. I was willing to do anything. I was willing to do whatever it took. And so, um, I did. I got help. It was free.

Joe Rogan 58:17 What year was this around?

Lara Beitz 58:20 Uh, January 21st, 2014.

Joe Rogan 58:22 Wow. You know it by the day.

Lara Beitz 58:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:26 That's great. I only have like a, a d- other than the birth of my children in my head like that, I have like the s- the day I started comedy, day I was married, that kinda shit.

Lara Beitz 58:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:37 But that's a big one.

Lara Beitz 58:38 I don't know when I started comedy and I don't know when you got married-

Joe Rogan 58:41 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 58:41 ... but that's my, that's my date. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:44 I started comedy August 27th, 1988. And I think back to that day all the time, because I almost pussied out.

Lara Beitz 58:52 Wow, yeah. Me too.

Joe Rogan 58:54 Did you almost pussied out?

Lara Beitz 58:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:55 What happened with you?

Lara Beitz 58:56 I, um, called th- Yeah, I had, you had to call the comedy club ahead of time to ask for a spot-

Joe Rogan 59:02 Which comedy club?

Lara Beitz 59:02 The Comedy Cafe in Milwaukee. I don't think it's with us any longer. I think it has passed away. But, um-

Joe Rogan 59:09 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 59:09 ... yeah, you, you called ahead of time to get a spot on the open mic, and then you could do a set for five to seven minutes. And so I, like, typed my set out word for word on a computer, practiced it in front of a full-length mirror a million times. Um, and wanted to cancel, but I would've had to, like, cancel to cancel, and I'm not a bitch, so I did it, and-

Joe Rogan 59:32 You were drinking back then?

Lara Beitz 59:33 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:35 Oh, yeah?

Lara Beitz 59:36 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:37 Oh, yeah.

Lara Beitz 59:37 They (laughs) yeah. Um, yeah, I used to go on stage blackout drunk. It, I would not have any of the success that I have right now if I hadn't stopped drinking, 'cause I would black out. Um, and yeah, I m- I went on and I told my jokes, and some of them hit and some of them didn't, but I got that, I got the fix. I got that feeling of, like, telling a joke to a room full of people and having them laugh at it, and I've been hooked ever since.

Joe Rogan 1:00:04 How did you remember your material if you were blackout drunk?

Lara Beitz 1:00:06 I wasn't blackout drunk at that moment. Oh, other times, I don't know. And sometimes I didn't. I mean, I fucked up a lot, you know? There were times where I, like, went on stage and I would repeat my jokes that I had just said.

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:00:20 Um, I would ask my friends like, "How'd my set go?" And they'd be like, "You are shit-faced." You know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:00:26 Like, "You're drunk. It looked like you were really drunk." You know?

Joe Rogan 1:00:30 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:00:30 I knew generally if I couldn't remember it that it probably wasn't that good.

Joe Rogan 1:00:35 Hmm. Generally? (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:00:37 Yeah, generally, I'm like, "Well..." But I mean, that's, like, the difference between then and now, and it's like what you were talking about. Now if you have an opportunity, you make the most of it. Now if I have an opportunity, I make the most of it. I show up early. I'm polite and professional. And, like, nobody wets their pants-

Joe Rogan 1:00:54 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:00:54 ... and I maybe get another shot at the thing later. You know? You get to move on-

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:00:58 ... to, like, the next level.

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:00:59 On to the next step.... back then, I remember in Milwaukee, there was a headliner who thought I was funny and wanted to see if he wanted to bring me on the road. And so, he got me a feature set at a show, uh, a o- a one-nighter. And, um, I went and did it, and got blackout drunk, and don't remember anything he said to me on the ride home. But I do know he never brought me on the road with him, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:01:30 Like, I know I'm not on tour with him right now. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:34 Is he on tour?

Lara Beitz 1:01:35 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:01:36 Oh.

Lara Beitz 1:01:37 I don't know. I don't think I- I don't think I've spoken to him since.

Joe Rogan 1:01:42 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:01:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:42 Maybe he'll h- he'll see this and-

Lara Beitz 1:01:44 Maybe he will.

Joe Rogan 1:01:45 ... forget you.

Lara Beitz 1:01:45 His name was James Irvin Barry.

Joe Rogan 1:01:47 All right. James Irvin Barry.

Lara Beitz 1:01:48 He was very nice.

Joe Rogan 1:01:49 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:01:49 I was very drunk. It was not his fault.

Joe Rogan 1:01:53 I- it's a weird thing, that genetic propensity for alcoholism, 'cause I've seen it in people where their parents are drunks and they just can't fucking help it. I've seen it. And some people like to think that it's all willpower, but I'm not so sure. I don't have that thing. I can have a drink or two, and I can not drink for a month. It doesn't bother me. But I've seen it, where like one drink and then they get fucking shark eyes.

Lara Beitz 1:02:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 It's like plink, they flip over. Uh, they... Like, you know gerbils? You ever look in a gerbil's eye? Like-

Lara Beitz 1:02:22 (laughs) No, I never looked in a gerbil's eyes (laughs) of you.

Joe Rogan 1:02:23 Look in their eyes, they're dead. They're dead eyes. Like a- like s- some people, their eyes just gl- they black out. They get glazed over and they're not there anymore. Like, "Oh, Charles not here anymore."

Lara Beitz 1:02:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:33 "Charles is gone. Now this fucking shark boy." Like, 'cause their eyes just glass over.

Lara Beitz 1:02:39 Yeah. I mean, I was never there when it happened, but that's exactly how my friends describe me. They be like, "I looked at you last night and you weren't there."

Joe Rogan 1:02:46 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:02:46 That's exactly how they describe me.

Joe Rogan 1:02:48 It's what it seems like when someone's blacked out drunk. It's so- it's such a weird thing, like, that- that some human beings, like for whatever it is, with alcohol it sinks. Like, that was always, like, the big problem with Native Americans.

Lara Beitz 1:03:03 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:03:03 They would give them alcohol and, uh... Rhonda Patrick was explaining... Dr. Rhonda Patrick was explaining this to me, that there's- there's actually a gene.

Lara Beitz 1:03:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:12 And that some folks, depending upon their ancestry, if their ancestors grew up without alcohol, they would have no protection from... Is that true? Find out if that's true.

Lara Beitz 1:03:26 That is true. And-

Joe Rogan 1:03:27 Is that right?

Lara Beitz 1:03:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 Well, it seems like I'm bullshitting. I a- always have to pause.

Lara Beitz 1:03:30 That is true. And there's an... I believe it's less of an enzyme that your liver produces that helps you process alcohol. Women have less of it as well. But Native Americans-

Joe Rogan 1:03:39 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:03:40 ... yes.

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 Yeah. Because they didn't have that as a part of their, you know, their rituals. So, it's for thousands of y-... I did it. Oh, it's this thing. That's what it is. Even though you can hear me, I can't hear me. It's this fucking... Hello? Hello? Jamie, this thing's a piece of shit. Do we have another headset?

Lara Beitz 1:03:59 You want this?

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 Yeah, let me try that one. Some... Oh, there it goes. It came back.

Narrator 1:04:06 Hi Patish. There might be a short in your wire.

Lara Beitz 1:04:07 Here, I'll give you that-

Joe Rogan 1:04:08 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:04:08 ... in case.

Joe Rogan 1:04:08 Okay, thank you. I think it's probably this little deck more than it is the, uh, headset itself. Yeah, it's a weird one. It's a weird with pot too. I've seen some people, they- they smoke pot and they just lose their fucking marbles. Uh, there's this guy named Alex Berenson. He wrote a- a- a book called Tell Your Children, and I had him on, um, with this, uh, this guy who's a cannabis doctor from Canada, Mike Hart, and they were debating whether or not cannabis is... A- and Tell Your Children is basically about some people, when they smoke marijuana, have psychotic breaks and- and schizophrenic episodes. And I've seen it. I know people that have lost their fucking marbles with weed. And I know at least one guy whose whole life went on a downward spiral after Joey Diaz gave him an edible. Like, legitimately. On the podcast, by the way.

Lara Beitz 1:04:58 But he c- he has crazy edibles.

Joe Rogan 1:05:00 Oh.

Lara Beitz 1:05:00 I don't even feel like that's fair to edibles, because I hear him talk about the milligrams and I see normal people's reactions to it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:07 Oh. Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:05:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:08 I've taken his edibles. They- they all-

Lara Beitz 1:05:10 He, like, tricks people into taking them, doesn't he?

Joe Rogan 1:05:12 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He lies about what-

Lara Beitz 1:05:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 ... the dosage is. He's such a savage. He's such an in-

Lara Beitz 1:05:17 I love him so much.

Joe Rogan 1:05:18 ... interesting person.

Lara Beitz 1:05:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:19 He, uh, would take an edible that's 500 milligrams and he would, uh, take it out of the wrapper and put it in a wrapper that's 50 milligrams.

Lara Beitz 1:05:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:28 So rude.

Lara Beitz 1:05:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 It's so rude.

Lara Beitz 1:05:31 That's so fucked up.

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 It's so fucked up.

Lara Beitz 1:05:33 That would ruin someone's, like... He's done it. He did it to Tom on, like, an airplane, didn't he?

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:05:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:39 Tom was so mad at him. Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:05:42 Ah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:43 Tom and I-

Lara Beitz 1:05:43 I wanna start drugging people. That's funny.

Joe Rogan 1:05:46 It's only funny when it's Joey. You'd have to go along with it.

Lara Beitz 1:05:49 You don't think I could pull it off?

Joe Rogan 1:05:50 You definitely could put off.

Lara Beitz 1:05:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:51 But I'm just saying, like, if you're not doing the drugs yourself... The thing about Joey is he's doing the same dose. Like, he's dosing you, but he's also taking exactly what you're taking and more.

Lara Beitz 1:06:02 I think I could pull it off more because I don't do drugs, because any time I get, like, a gift box from a weed company, I give it to my friends. And I feel like I could easily be like, "Oh, here." And have one that says it's, like, 10 milligrams-

Joe Rogan 1:06:16 Oh, you could.

Lara Beitz 1:06:16 ... and, like, ruin Frank Castillo's week.

Joe Rogan 1:06:18 Yes. You could. Well, Frank could probably take it. Frank-

Lara Beitz 1:06:22 Steve.

Joe Rogan 1:06:23 Okay. Frank Castillo could take it, though. He- he'll- he knows how to smoke some weed.

Lara Beitz 1:06:29 I know he smokes a lot of weed.

Joe Rogan 1:06:30 He could put it away.

Lara Beitz 1:06:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:32 He- he'll be all right. But-

Lara Beitz 1:06:33 I don't know if he could put it away without making a fool out of himself.

Joe Rogan 1:06:36 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:06:36 He smokes a lot of weed, but he also will not be able to process anything that you're s- he doesn't wear it well.

Joe Rogan 1:06:43 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:06:43 He doesn't wear it like a gentleman. I'll say that.

Joe Rogan 1:06:47 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:06:47 Wear it like a gentleman. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:49 Yeah. Joey... The thing about Joey is, though, it- it's not just dosing you. He will dose himself. Like, he- he takes what you're taking. Like...

Lara Beitz 1:06:57 Yeah. But he's built like a brick house.

Joe Rogan 1:07:00 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:07:00 I mean, he-

Joe Rogan 1:07:01 Yeah. He's 300 pounds.

Lara Beitz 1:07:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07:03 Called me the other day. "Joe, I'm down to 290."

Lara Beitz 1:07:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07:06 Congratulations.But he, he could just... All that mass, he could put away some fucking Cheeba Chews. You know, stars of death. Those are 250 milligrams. That's a big dose. And he would just down two, three of them. I've seen it. It's like shocking. I've seen him eat three of them. And you're like, like you get nervous. Like, "Sh- I gotta get out of here."

Lara Beitz 1:07:29 Isn't like 10 milligrams a respectable dose? Or like 30?

Joe Rogan 1:07:32 Pro- pussy.

Lara Beitz 1:07:32 Isn't that the... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07:35 No.

Lara Beitz 1:07:35 Isn't that like the normal range for someone who's like got a family and is trying to like fuck his wife on a Friday night? You know what I mean? Like a normal person.

Joe Rogan 1:07:43 Ye- yeah, if you don't... But he's not normal. Joey's not normal. But, but the thing w- we-

Lara Beitz 1:07:48 Because you wouldn't smoke.

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 ... always would do is get dosed up when we get on planes. Getting on planes, getting high was always the, the real way to go.

Lara Beitz 1:07:54 Dude, your material about getting high and going to the airport-

Joe Rogan 1:07:59 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:07:59 ... and flying gives me panic attacks. That is-

Joe Rogan 1:08:03 It's so true. (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:08:04 There's nothing I would less want to do than be fucked up in an airport.

Joe Rogan 1:08:08 But that's the point. The point is like it makes it an adventure.

Lara Beitz 1:08:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:11 So instead of it being this boring thing that you have to do, now you're, you're just... You're, you're like barely keeping it together, you know. It's like trying to walk a tightrope while you're blindfolded with like one eye's blindfolded and one arm's tied behind your back and, and you got a fucking splinter in your foot. Like, "Ah."

Lara Beitz 1:08:29 I'm never bored at the airport. I'm always over stimulated at the airport. I'm always overwhelmed. There are so many people doing so many different things from so many walks of life. There's so much going on, you gotta be alert.

Joe Rogan 1:08:41 You have to be alert.

Lara Beitz 1:08:42 You gotta go through the lines and stuff. People tell you what to do. Peop-

Joe Rogan 1:08:45 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:08:45 There's very little margin for error before a TSA agent will-

Joe Rogan 1:08:49 Right. Th-

Lara Beitz 1:08:50 ... correct your behavior.

Joe Rogan 1:08:50 That's why it's fun to be stupid high-

Lara Beitz 1:08:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:53 ... when you're doing that. (laughs) Because you have to like keep it together. But one time, me and Duncan, we were, we were, um, going to film a television show and we got fucking obliterated. Same thing. Ate giant edibles, went to the airport and totally missed our flight. We were talking. Me and Duncan, just, we could talk for hours. Me and Duncan were just sitting there in the airport and then we realized, "Dude, when's our flight?" And we looked up and our, our flight had already left.

Lara Beitz 1:09:17 No.

Joe Rogan 1:09:17 Our flight was long gone. (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:09:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:20 It was so stupid, such a classic stoner move. So we had to take another flight. We flew all night and then we went to work in the morning with no sleep. We had to film the show with zero sleep. And the show that we were filming was about the Center for Disease Control-

Lara Beitz 1:09:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:33 ... in Galveston, Texas. So we're down in Galveston like still high, right?

Lara Beitz 1:09:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:38 Like, um, no sleep at all. Trying to stay awake, drinking coffee, talking to this guy who's telling us everyone's gonna die.

Lara Beitz 1:09:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:45 So this guy was talking to us about... We were, we were talking about weaponized diseases.

Lara Beitz 1:09:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09:50 And his... Essentially the guy at the Center for Disease Control is telling us, "It's not weaponized diseases I'm concerned with. It's live... It's just viruses mutating and jumping from livestock to people." And he's explaining that to us.

Lara Beitz 1:10:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:03 And we were so high. And then we were in this building where they were working with Ebola and all these diff-... I mean, the Center for Disease Control at Galveston is like, they work with like some of the worst hemorrhagic viruses and all these d- terrifying diseases. They're all in this fucking building in Texas. And they're, they have these crazy ventilation systems and people are in space suits and they're walking around dealing with these things. Yeah. It's all down there. So here's Duncan and I.

Lara Beitz 1:10:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:29 Missed our flight, high as fuck, wandering around Galveston.

Lara Beitz 1:10:33 Next to a b- vial of Ebola.

Joe Rogan 1:10:36 Trying to stay awake, listening to this guy talking about how everyone's gonna die, we're like...

Lara Beitz 1:10:39 What makes that story s- like just get funnier and funnier the longer I picture it, is r- thinking about how (laughs) many times they say the name of the fucking flight (laughs) in the airport before it takes off.

Joe Rogan 1:10:55 Dude, not just that.

Lara Beitz 1:10:56 They announce that they're gonna, "We're gonna start boarding to Galveston. Boarding has started to Galveston."

Joe Rogan 1:11:01 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:11:02 "We're pre-boarding to Galveston. Now first class to Galves-" Like -

Joe Rogan 1:11:06 Where Jamie is?

Lara Beitz 1:11:06 ... they say the name of the flight 20 times. How did neither one of you hear it that many times?

Joe Rogan 1:11:11 It's worse. It's worse. Jamie is right where the gate was.

Lara Beitz 1:11:13 Mm-hmm. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:14 We were, we were right... (laughs) We weren't, we weren't like far away.

Lara Beitz 1:11:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:18 We were right there. We were just talking. "Dude, did you see this thing?"

Lara Beitz 1:11:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:22 Like Duncan's telling me about some documentary he saw and...

Lara Beitz 1:11:25 Why didn't anyone prod you? Like wh-

Joe Rogan 1:11:27 It was just us. We didn't have like people that were going with us. We were just there-

Lara Beitz 1:11:31 But I mean someone working at the gate.

Joe Rogan 1:11:33 Nope. No one working at the gate gave a fuck about us. (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:11:36 Mm-hmm. (laughs) Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:11:37 By the time I went to the lady to... Like the fight- flight's long gone. Shit. (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:11:43 (laughs) Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:11:43 It was just classic.

Lara Beitz 1:11:44 It's just like not only did it leave, it left two hour-

Joe Rogan 1:11:46 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:11:46 We've also boarded and a different flight left.

Joe Rogan 1:11:50 Yes. We had to fly to Houston and then we had to drive from Houston to Galveston. It was a disaster.

Lara Beitz 1:11:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:55 It was hilarious though. But it's funnier that way to think about it, you know. Just think about how ridiculous it was.

Lara Beitz 1:12:01 How far is Houston to Galveston?

Joe Rogan 1:12:03 I don't remember.

Lara Beitz 1:12:03 I want to picture every part of this process.

Joe Rogan 1:12:05 I wish I could remember.

Lara Beitz 1:12:05 You renting a car, one of your high asses driving it-

Joe Rogan 1:12:08 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:12:08 ... in the middle of the fucking night.

Joe Rogan 1:12:10 Yeah, I... Yeah, I think by the time we got there, we probably weren't too high. We were definitely a little high. But we tried to sleep on the plane maybe... Or maybe we had like 30 minutes of sleeping in the hotel or something like that when we got there, but not much. It was a disaster.

Lara Beitz 1:12:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:12:30 (laughs) Yeah. That's one of the reasons why people think pot's bad for you, you know.

Lara Beitz 1:12:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:34 Yeah.

Lara Beitz 1:12:35 Because they miss flights because you get forgetful. When I would, uh... When I would get high, and I used to get high every day even though it gave me horrible panic attacks.

Joe Rogan 1:12:44 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:12:45 Horrible panic attacks. It gave me panic, panic attacks and it gave me puke burps.

Joe Rogan 1:12:51 Oh, no.

Lara Beitz 1:12:51 And I would smoke with like the guy I had a crush on.

Joe Rogan 1:12:55 (laughs)

Lara Beitz 1:12:55 Like the guys I had a crush on. And would get high as hell, would be so aware of like every molecule of my body, would be so self-conscious and then would start like deeply belching and the guy's like, "Ugh. What the fuck?"

Joe Rogan 1:13:09 (laughs)