Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan

1. 0:00 – 10:59

   Intro

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music) Hello, Joe.

   4. JGJim Gaffigan0:13

      Hello.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Good to see you again, my friend.

   6. JGJim Gaffigan0:15

      I am thrilled to be here.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      And now we know that you had COVID.

   8. JGJim Gaffigan0:19

      I had COVID.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:20

      And you shook it off like it was nothing.

   10. JGJim Gaffigan0:21

       I shook it off. I mean, I didn't need those monoclonal... I mean, you're a weak person, Joe.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Compared to you?

   12. JGJim Gaffigan0:26

       Like, if, if you were like me, you wouldn't need that stuff.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       I wouldn't need anything.

   14. JGJim Gaffigan0:31

       I was out there-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       You didn't even know you had it.

   16. JGJim Gaffigan0:33

       I had it, I was out there spreading it.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       (laughs)

   18. JGJim Gaffigan0:37

       (laughs) Unaware that I was spreading it. I feel so bad.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       Well-

   20. JGJim Gaffigan0:41

       I w- I was wearing a mask.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Most people... Uh, I don't think that works.

   22. JGJim Gaffigan0:44

       Yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:44

       Most people did that. Most people were out there spreading it. I mean, they, what do they say? Like, the, the, the people that don't show any symptoms, the asymptomatic folks, they were in the high 40%.

   24. JGJim Gaffigan0:56

       Wow.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:57

       Yeah.

   26. JGJim Gaffigan0:57

       That's a lot of people.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       It's crazy. Yeah. But this is not like even PCR tests, right? 'Cause one of the things that... As of December 31st, the, um... I b- believes it was the CDC put this regulation in place, they stopped using the standard PCR test for COVID because there's too many false positives. They're... They catch people with influenza, other coronaviruses, c- common colds, were testing positive for COVID-19.

   28. JGJim Gaffigan1:20

       Now, do you feel a certain responsibility? I have so many questions.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:25

       It's okay. (laughs)

   30. JGJim Gaffigan1:25

       I know it's the Joe Rogan Experience, but this is-
2. 10:59 – 17:43

   Winehouse

   1. JGJim Gaffigan10:59

      feels like with generations-

   2. JRJoe Rogan11:01

      There it is. Found dead inside her London apartment. Multiple investigations have concluded that Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning. Oh, wow, so she drank too much. With a coroner's report after her death revealing that Winehouse had a blood-alcohol content of 0.416, more than five times the legal limit to drive. Yeah, but I bet she did that all the time.

   3. JGJim Gaffigan11:21

      Yeah. No, I ... like, my father, you know, and that generation, they could put ... I mean, my dad-

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:28

      They could put it away.

   5. JGJim Gaffigan11:29

      They could put it away. My dad ... like, I thought this was normal. My dad would get home from work, have a vodka, and then after dinner he'd have a scotch. Like, I thought that was normal.

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:39

      Yeah, I thought that was normal too.

   7. JGJim Gaffigan11:39

      But that generation was like, boom.

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:41

      Yeah, they died young.

   9. JGJim Gaffigan11:42

      They were ... I mean, my first job in advertising, I was sent every Friday to a liquor store to buy bottles of booze for different VPs.

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:51

       Oh. Yeah, well, if you work in an office in a high-stress job, alcohol is almost, like, mandatory for those people just to, like, unwind, throw a couple ice cubes, and then they're like, "Jesus fucking Christ, what are we doing?"

   11. JGJim Gaffigan12:02

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan12:03

       Whoa. And at the end of the day, these guys just wanna do something to take the fucking edge off 'cause it's-

   13. JGJim Gaffigan12:08

       People put in their time.

   14. JRJoe Rogan12:09

       They put in their time. I mean, if you're a g- ... a person who's in one of them high-stress jobs where you're working 12 hours a day, every fucking day, and then you bringing a lot of it home with you, right?

   15. JGJim Gaffigan12:19

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan12:19

       I mean, p- ... my God. And what a lot of people do ... I mean, think about how easy our fucking job is-

   17. JGJim Gaffigan12:24

       Oh, my gosh.

   18. JRJoe Rogan12:25

       ... in comparison to, like, a real job.

   19. JGJim Gaffigan12:26

       It's an hour.

   20. JRJoe Rogan12:27

       Oh my Jesus. (laughs)

   21. JGJim Gaffigan12:29

       Yeah.

   22. JRJoe Rogan12:29

       It's so much easier.

   23. JGJim Gaffigan12:30

       Yeah. I mean, I ...... you know, I, I spent, uh, like, five days... 'cause, of course, all shows got reshuffled. So, my October, November, and December were really intense with tour dates. And so I was in Seattle, and I would do my shows and go back to my hotel room and just write. And, uh, I mean, it was... I just can't articulate how much I loved it.

   24. JRJoe Rogan12:58

       That's awesome.

   25. JGJim Gaffigan12:58

       It was just, like, performing and writing is just so incredibly rewarding. I know your point is, like, compared to people that are, like, mixing cement. I mean-

   26. JRJoe Rogan13:08

       Yeah.

   27. JGJim Gaffigan13:08

       ... it's, like, so easy, but it's also the level of stress and the amount of time, like...

   28. JRJoe Rogan13:14

       Yeah.

   29. JGJim Gaffigan13:15

       Like, we don't have to be around people that much.

   30. JRJoe Rogan13:17

       (laughs) It's only, like-
3. 17:43 – 19:19

   discography

   1. JRJoe Rogan17:43

      at all these specials.

   2. JGJim Gaffigan17:44

      Yeah. That's-

   3. JRJoe Rogan17:45

      And he-

   4. JGJim Gaffigan17:45

      ... unbelievable.

   5. JRJoe Rogan17:46

      ... too. So he went... He had, he had some gaps, right? Like, look at that. '63 and then '67 and then '72 and then another one in '72. God, he had two in '72, and then one in '73, one in '74, '75, '77, '81, '84. So, what is the total number?

   6. NANarrator18:03

      This... So, for this, uh, discography from Maine, I guess, whatever Maine means, is, uh, 20, including that 2016 one.

   7. JRJoe Rogan18:12

      So, the 2016 one-

   8. NANarrator18:13

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan18:13

      ... I Kinda Like It When a Lot of People Die, was supposed to be out on 2001, around September 11th, but it was literally scheduled to come out right after-

   10. NANarrator18:25

       Oh, wow.

   11. JRJoe Rogan18:25

       ... September 11th, and the name of it, I Kinda Like It When a Lot of People Die (laughs) -

   12. NANarrator18:29

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan18:30

       ... that's fucking obviously a bit of an issue.

   14. JGJim Gaffigan18:33

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan18:34

       But so many-

   16. JGJim Gaffigan18:36

       HBO specials.

   17. NANarrator18:36

       I don't know.

   18. JGJim Gaffigan18:37

       Look at that.

   19. NANarrator18:37

       If it was separate from that too?

   20. JGJim Gaffigan18:38

       Oh, I always thought it was every year.... that's so interesting. I thought it was every year.

   21. JRJoe Rogan18:43

       I felt like it was too.

   22. JGJim Gaffigan18:45

       First 12 specials.

   23. JRJoe Rogan18:47

       Huh. So those are HBO specials. And what are the o- other ones? Are those albums? Wh-

   24. NANarrator18:50

       That's... Yeah, I guess that'd be audio albums maybe, 'cause there's also television and film appearances in there.

   25. JRJoe Rogan18:55

       Scroll down. Scroll down. Where you just had up tel- where it said tel- scroll down. So, like, what is that? Television.

   26. NANarrator19:01

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan19:02

       Oh, okay. Th- so these are different... Okay, and scroll down a little further. So these are all spots on television shows. And then scroll down a little further. And these are the HBO specials.

   28. JGJim Gaffigan19:14

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan19:14

       And then written works and audiobooks. Wow. A lot, a lot.

4. 19:19 – 23:19

   addiction

   1. JRJoe Rogan19:19

   2. JGJim Gaffigan19:19

      Yeah. I know that he went through a period he dealt with, um... I mean, uh, you probably have interviewed Kelly Carlin probably.

   3. JRJoe Rogan19:26

      I haven't.

   4. JGJim Gaffigan19:27

      Um-

   5. JRJoe Rogan19:27

      I've, I've spoken to her on Twitter.

   6. JGJim Gaffigan19:28

      I, I don't, I don't know her at all. But, like, I know that he struggled with some addiction-

   7. JRJoe Rogan19:33

      Yeah.

   8. JGJim Gaffigan19:33

      ... and stuff like that, but-

   9. JRJoe Rogan19:35

      He had a pill issue for a while.

   10. JGJim Gaffigan19:36

       Really?

   11. JRJoe Rogan19:36

       Yeah.

   12. JGJim Gaffigan19:37

       I remember I was... I was probably 93. I just started standup. And he went on at the original Improv on 44th Street. And I remember he had a tape player, and he had a piece of paper where he l- you know, like a cassette recorder, and he had these notes, and he had punchlines underlined.

   13. JRJoe Rogan20:03

       Hmm.

   14. JGJim Gaffigan20:04

       I mean, granted, this is 30 years ago, so maybe I'm remembering some of it wrong. But I remember thinking, "God, that is just..." The detailing was so impressive that... And you can see it in his writing.

   15. JRJoe Rogan20:20

       Yeah.

   16. JGJim Gaffigan20:20

       I mean, the, the, the wordsmith, uh, is just so extensive.

   17. JRJoe Rogan20:26

       Yeah, he would write out his entire special word for word.

   18. JGJim Gaffigan20:30

       Yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan20:30

       And then he would just kind of tighten it up.

   20. JGJim Gaffigan20:32

       Yeah.

   21. JRJoe Rogan20:32

       That was how he did it. And he would write sober, and then he would punch up on marijuana.

   22. JGJim Gaffigan20:38

       Right.

   23. JRJoe Rogan20:38

       He would smoke pot and punch it up.

   24. JGJim Gaffigan20:40

       Wow.

   25. JRJoe Rogan20:40

       Yeah, that was his move.

   26. JGJim Gaffigan20:42

       Brilliant.

   27. JRJoe Rogan20:42

       I saw him bomb-

   28. JGJim Gaffigan20:44

       Oh, yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:44

       ... in front of my roommates in-

   30. JGJim Gaffigan20:46

       Really?
5. 23:19 – 25:06

   drivein shows

   1. JGJim Gaffigan23:19

   2. JRJoe Rogan23:19

      And watch.

   3. JGJim Gaffigan23:19

      ... just freak out.

   4. JRJoe Rogan23:20

      How long did you take off during the pandemic before you... Wi- like, with no standup at all?

   5. JGJim Gaffigan23:26

      I did some drive-in shows.

   6. JRJoe Rogan23:29

      Those were wild.

   7. JGJim Gaffigan23:30

      I mean, I...

   8. JRJoe Rogan23:31

      Did you do them with Bert? (laughs)

   9. JGJim Gaffigan23:32

      No, I... You know, it's like... It was... It, it was kind of like dry humping. You know what I mean?

   10. JRJoe Rogan23:39

       (laughs)

   11. JGJim Gaffigan23:39

       It's just... And I'm not... It's like... That's a throwback from when we were teenagers, right?

   12. JRJoe Rogan23:45

       It's a good way to put it, though.

   13. JGJim Gaffigan23:46

       But, uh, it was... Yeah, I did a couple of them, and I was grateful for them, and I'm sure the audience hopefully had a good time. But it wasn't standup.

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:56

       It's a little something to, like, r- remind people what it used to be like to go out and to see a show, but you're in your car.

   15. JGJim Gaffigan24:03

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan24:03

       You don't have to worry about catching anything and...

   17. JGJim Gaffigan24:06

       And so... But to answer your question, I went a good year and a half.

   18. JRJoe Rogan24:13

       Wow.

   19. JGJim Gaffigan24:14

       A year and a half. Yeah, I mean, I was supposed to do Chappelle, one of Chappelle's weekends. Everyone got COVID, so I couldn't do that. And then I was in Vancouver for four months working on a movie, so I went a year and a half. And I was doing these CBS Sunday commentaries for the first 22 weeks, and... But I, I didn't really write standup. So, like... Uh, 'cause my thought was, "No one's gonna want to hear about this pandemic, so I'm not gonna write about the pandemic outside of these Sun- CBS Sunday commentaries." So then when I started writing...... it's like you, you know, we don't have control of what comes out. I had some of this pandemic stuff that ended up in Comedy Monster, but I didn't have an expectation of doing material on the pandemic.

6. 25:06 – 25:55

   Expectations

   1. JGJim Gaffigan25:06

      Did you?

   2. JRJoe Rogan25:06

      No. I mean, I think I never have a expectation about doing material on anything.

   3. JGJim Gaffigan25:11

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan25:11

      It's just, like, if there's a bit I enjoy doing that seems to be working and makes sense, then I just start doing it. But if I had no material on the pandemic, I'd be happy with that.

   5. JGJim Gaffigan25:21

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan25:21

      I, my God, I fucking talked about it so much. I mean-

   7. JGJim Gaffigan25:23

      Of course.

   8. JRJoe Rogan25:24

      ... I'm so exhausted talking-

   9. JGJim Gaffigan25:26

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan25:26

       ... about COVID.

   11. JGJim Gaffigan25:27

       Yeah. No, it's, I, I miscalculated. I thought that it was gonna be similar to politics, where we consume all this politics all the time, that when people get into a comedy room or a theater, they're not gonna wanna hear about it.

   12. JRJoe Rogan25:43

       Right.

   13. JGJim Gaffigan25:43

       But I think that the pandemic has been so truly traumatic, not just the pandemic, the whole experience-

   14. JRJoe Rogan25:51

       Yeah.

   15. JGJim Gaffigan25:52

       ... that we're gonna be digesting this for quite

7. 25:55 – 27:17

   Anger

   1. JGJim Gaffigan25:55

      some time.

   2. JRJoe Rogan25:55

      Oh, yeah. And there's gonna be a lot of anger. There's gonna be a lot of anger at a lot of the businesses that went under.

   3. JGJim Gaffigan26:02

      Oh, yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:02

      There's gonna be a lot of anger at the politicians and how they handled it, and medical professionals, and whether or not early treatment options were pursued correctly. There's gonna be a lot of anger. And it's, but there's also a lot of opportunity for humor.

   5. JGJim Gaffigan26:15

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:15

      And there, people love that escape. They love-

   7. JGJim Gaffigan26:17

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:18

      ... the ability, like, if you crack a good one about COVID, they have this ability to let off some steam, you know?

   9. JGJim Gaffigan26:23

      Well, I also think there's a lot of, you know, particularly through the pandemic, and it's just generally kind of my approach, I think, is that humans are pretty dumb.

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:36

       (laughs)

   11. JGJim Gaffigan26:36

       Like, we're generally, not only are we dumb, we think we're smart.

   12. JRJoe Rogan26:43

       Yeah, there's a lot of that.

   13. JGJim Gaffigan26:44

       That's, that's the worst part.

   14. JRJoe Rogan26:45

       That's the saddest thing ever when a really dumb person thinks they're brilliant.

   15. JGJim Gaffigan26:49

       Right?

   16. JRJoe Rogan26:50

       It's not the saddest thing ever.

   17. JGJim Gaffigan26:51

       But then again-

   18. JRJoe Rogan26:51

       It's the saddest thing ever when a child dies, right? That's the saddest thing.

   19. JGJim Gaffigan26:53

       Yeah, I mean, it's, it's like everyone, you know, everyone kind of looks at their parents like, "Those idiots."

   20. JRJoe Rogan26:59

       Right.

   21. JGJim Gaffigan26:59

       And our kids are like, "Those idiots."

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:02

       Yeah.

   23. JGJim Gaffigan27:02

       It's just-

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:03

       Oh, yeah.

   25. JGJim Gaffigan27:03

       ... this generation after generation. You know, like, when they were putting leeches on people, the medical community was like, "We did it. We figured it out. We put these bloodsuckers on people and we got it. Anyway, let's have some drinks."

8. 27:17 – 27:43

   leeches

   1. JGJim Gaffigan27:17

      (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan27:17

      Well, they would bleed you out, too. They would-

   3. JGJim Gaffigan27:19

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan27:19

      ... not just use leeches, they would cut you and, uh, and leak your blood into a bucket to try to remove toxins from your system.

   5. JGJim Gaffigan27:26

      It's so weird, like, the shock therapy stuff, how, like, that disappears-

   6. JRJoe Rogan27:30

      Yeah.

   7. JGJim Gaffigan27:31

      ... in our lifetime, where they were like, "Can you believe they did shock therapies?" And now you'll read an article, they're like, "You know, they think shock therapy might work." (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan27:40

      (laughs) It might.

   9. JGJim Gaffigan27:42

      Humans are

9. 27:43 – 28:41

   Ed Muskie

   1. JGJim Gaffigan27:43

      so stupid.

   2. JRJoe Rogan27:44

      Well, it's, it might not work on everybody, but it might work on some people. Do you remember, there was, um, when Ed Muskie... No. Who was it? William Montgomery, William McGovern. When William McGovern was, uh, running for president, his vice president, uh, it turned out in the middle-

   3. JGJim Gaffigan28:04

      Oh, right.

   4. JRJoe Rogan28:05

      ... of the race against Nixon that he had undergone shock therapy.

   5. JGJim Gaffigan28:08

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan28:08

      And, like, everybody's like, "Oh, Jesus." They decided that he was a kook, and so his vice president pick fucked him, and he really had... Because Hunter S. Thompson was on his side-

   7. JGJim Gaffigan28:19

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan28:19

      ... and he was writing about him, and he had kind of gathered up some momentum, and it looked like he had a real shot to beat Nixon. And then once his presidential, vice presidential candidate guy started, turned, you know, turned out to be a kook.

   9. JGJim Gaffigan28:33

      It's all, it's the timing of everything.

   10. JRJoe Rogan28:36

       Yep.

   11. JGJim Gaffigan28:36

       Right?

   12. JRJoe Rogan28:36

       It's timing of everything, yeah.

   13. JGJim Gaffigan28:37

       Timing is, is the big

10. 28:41 – 29:10

    Presidential Elections

    1. JGJim Gaffigan28:41

       issue.

    2. JRJoe Rogan28:41

       Well, especially when there's something... That's, that's why it's so crazy about presidential candidates. You know, we were talking about elections overseas, about in other countries, they do a, a very quick election. There's not as much money in it.

    3. JGJim Gaffigan28:52

       Yeah, yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan28:52

       It's only a six-week thing where everything's run... We, we, we, our elections essentially run for two years. So, like, from 2022-

    5. JGJim Gaffigan29:00

       Oh, yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan29:00

       ... on, there'll be a two-year process of people posturing and moving their pieces into play and-

    7. JGJim Gaffigan29:06

       And saying they're not running.

    8. JRJoe Rogan29:07

       Yeah.

    9. JGJim Gaffigan29:08

       But, hey, I can't say officially.

11. 29:10 – 30:34

    Infrastructure

    1. JGJim Gaffigan29:10

    2. JRJoe Rogan29:10

       I can't say officially, but-

    3. JGJim Gaffigan29:11

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan29:11

       ... if I was gonna run, I would attack this administration on the-

    5. JGJim Gaffigan29:15

       Yes.

    6. JRJoe Rogan29:15

       ... terrible treatment of blah, blah, blah, and this and that, and the border crisis. Hoo.

    7. JGJim Gaffigan29:20

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan29:20

       And what have they done to the infrastructure? Oh.

    9. JGJim Gaffigan29:23

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan29:24

        And no one fixes shit. That's what's crazy. Think about all the things Biden promised before he got into office, and there's people that are actually shocked that he didn't do everything he said he was gonna do. People are like, "I can't believe this, and I voted for him." How many fucking times does Lucy have to pull the ball from Charlie Brown before Charlie Brown realizes-

    11. JGJim Gaffigan29:43

        Right.

    12. JRJoe Rogan29:43

        ... this is bullshit?

    13. JGJim Gaffigan29:43

        Well, I would still take, I would take Biden's corpse over Trump.

    14. JRJoe Rogan29:47

        Well, it's not really Biden, right? It's the, the cabinet. It's the people that are running the, the, the, the whole administration. That's what's going on now. It's not Biden. It's all the other folks that are moving things into place.

    15. JGJim Gaffigan29:59

        But, like, I mean, I, I still look at, like, you know, along the same lines of what you just said. So, like, Betsy DeVos.

    16. JRJoe Rogan30:12

        Yeah.

    17. JGJim Gaffigan30:13

        Um, Stephen Miller. You take all those people over. Uh, you know, even Mike Pence. You take, you take him over. Say what you want about Kamala or Kamala or whatever.

    18. JRJoe Rogan30:25

        Kamala?

    19. JGJim Gaffigan30:26

        (laughs) You, you know, it's like, any of those people. And I know I'll probably get murdered by some Trumpy, but, like, it's

12. 30:34 – 31:39

    Butt Implants

    1. JGJim Gaffigan30:34

       like...

    2. JRJoe Rogan30:35

       I don't think she's the best example. I think Kamala Harris has a storied history of incarcerating people, and, uh, keeping people in jail past the time they were supposed to be released to use them as cheap labor for the state of California to fight wildfires.

    3. JGJim Gaffigan30:49

       Mike Pence believed in, like, you could, uh, do therapy to get rid of gay.

    4. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       Wait a minute. You don't?

    5. JGJim Gaffigan30:56

       ... what?

    6. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       But what did we do earlier? All that, that hugging and everything. I thought that's-

    7. JGJim Gaffigan31:00

       But-

    8. JRJoe Rogan31:00

       ... that was about.

    9. JGJim Gaffigan31:01

       That was ... we hugged out my love for you.

    10. JRJoe Rogan31:06

        (laughs) That is a crazy thing to think you could pray gay away.

    11. JGJim Gaffigan31:08

        It's so weird to feel your butt implants. Like, why-

    12. JRJoe Rogan31:11

        (laughs)

    13. JGJim Gaffigan31:12

        ... would you get butt implants?

    14. JRJoe Rogan31:14

        I didn't like my flat butt.

    15. JGJim Gaffigan31:16

        You know, but, like, you're-

    16. JRJoe Rogan31:17

        I wanted a, a high art, like a-

    17. JGJim Gaffigan31:18

        But that was cultural appropriation.

    18. JRJoe Rogan31:20

        No, no, no, no, no.

    19. JGJim Gaffigan31:22

        (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan31:22

        No, no, no. There's some people from my culture that have that. It's just I'm lazy and I don't wanna do squats.

    21. JGJim Gaffigan31:26

        How long do you think we got?

    22. JRJoe Rogan31:27

        What do you think? I worry-

    23. JGJim Gaffigan31:28

        We got 10 years?

    24. JRJoe Rogan31:29

        Yeah.

    25. JGJim Gaffigan31:29

        You think we got 10 years?

    26. JRJoe Rogan31:29

        I worry we have about 10 years, and I think the decline between what happens now-

    27. JGJim Gaffigan31:33

        I'm too old to learn Chinese.

    28. JRJoe Rogan31:35

        Right.

    29. JGJim Gaffigan31:35

        I can't. I'm not gonna learn Mandarin.

    30. JRJoe Rogan31:37

        That's the problem. We might have to.
13. 31:39 – 32:16

    Google Translate

    1. JGJim Gaffigan31:39

    2. JRJoe Rogan31:39

       Thankfully, there's apps.

    3. JGJim Gaffigan31:41

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan31:42

       Yeah. Like, they had a thing with Google. Um, they have these, uh, things. I think it's ... is it with the Galaxy Buds? One of, one of the Android phones has the ability to translate in real time with sound. So, like, say if you said something in Chinese-

    5. JGJim Gaffigan32:03

       Yeah.

    6. JRJoe Rogan32:03

       ... the phone would say it back to me in my ear in English.

    7. JGJim Gaffigan32:08

       But that's where ... isn't that, uh, the basis of why so many wars have started, is miscommunication?

14. 32:16 – 34:00

    Money

    1. JGJim Gaffigan32:16

    2. JRJoe Rogan32:16

       Oh, f- ... well, also being led by people that pretend they have your best interest at heart. Look, in the real world, if there was no government, why would-

    3. JGJim Gaffigan32:24

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan32:24

       ... anybody fight with the Chinese or the Serbians or the Russians? Like, we wouldn't. We'd have no problem with them. They're over there, we're over here. Huh, it's fine. The problem is when enormous groups of people are led by a small, tight-knit group of individuals who are influenced almost entirely by money.

    5. JGJim Gaffigan32:41

       And so, you think it's all money?

    6. JRJoe Rogan32:44

       And that's what starts war. 100%.

    7. JGJim Gaffigan32:45

       You think-

    8. JRJoe Rogan32:45

       Money and natural resources.

    9. JGJim Gaffigan32:45

       Do you ... let me answer this. Do you think that the entertainment industry is about money?

    10. JRJoe Rogan32:49

        Yes.

    11. JGJim Gaffigan32:50

        I disagree.

    12. JRJoe Rogan32:51

        What's it about? Love? Joy?

    13. JGJim Gaffigan32:52

        No. It's about ego.

    14. JRJoe Rogan32:55

        Well, that too.

    15. JGJim Gaffigan32:55

        And I think ... I think, I think whenever people are like, "Oh, the entertainment industry is ab- uh, about money," I'm like, "Really?" 'Cause, you know, Mel Gibson did Passion of the Christ. They ... you could do, like, five of those and make a lot of money. It's not about that. And I think that politicians is, uh ... here, by the way, I'm destroying my career on this episode.

    16. JRJoe Rogan33:18

        (laughs)

    17. JGJim Gaffigan33:19

        Um, but it's about status. It's about ... everyone wants to be in the restaurant and be, uh, greeted with, uh, warmth.

    18. JRJoe Rogan33:30

        Yeah.

    19. JGJim Gaffigan33:30

        Whether it's a restaurant or country club. It's like-

    20. JRJoe Rogan33:32

        That's true.

    21. JGJim Gaffigan33:33

        And every now and then, someone does something, like Mitch McConnell. You know, he, he, he's gonna go out to dinner in Kentucky, and he's gonna be harassed by a Trump supporter.

    22. JRJoe Rogan33:46

        Right.

    23. JGJim Gaffigan33:46

        And he's like, "Ugh." He doesn't-

    24. JRJoe Rogan33:48

        Well, he gets harassed by Democrats.

    25. JGJim Gaffigan33:50

        Yeah. No, well, he gets h- ... but the thing is, is, like, all these people wanna be respected at their country club. They don't care about ... the money is not the issue.

15. 34:00 – 34:32

    Respect

    1. JGJim Gaffigan34:00

    2. JRJoe Rogan34:00

       You don't think that the money is the primary motivating factor for them making movies?

    3. JGJim Gaffigan34:06

       I don't think so. I think it's, uh, why ... you know, it's like, they want awards, they want accolades, they want respect of their ... by the way, comedian to comedian, I don't even have to ask you this. Comedians care about the, uh, respect of their peers.

    4. JRJoe Rogan34:23

       That's a big factor.

    5. JGJim Gaffigan34:25

       And that is way more important than money.

    6. JRJoe Rogan34:28

       Yeah. That, oh, that's an enormous factor.

    7. JGJim Gaffigan34:30

       That's way more important than a credit.

16. 34:32 – 35:22

    Island Comics

    1. JGJim Gaffigan34:32

    2. JRJoe Rogan34:32

       Well, y- here's the thing. Like, there are some people that do really well, and they don't have the respect of their peers, and they always seem to be living in hell.

    3. JGJim Gaffigan34:40

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan34:41

       Right?

    5. JGJim Gaffigan34:41

       Or they're chasing it.

    6. JRJoe Rogan34:42

       Yeah. They don't have friends. Like, when they're ... there is a few people I know that are comics that are fairly successful that have zero comic friends, and that they are the most miserable, weird, fucking bitter, stingy people. They're just fucked, 'cause they-

    7. JGJim Gaffigan34:57

       Yeah.

    8. JRJoe Rogan34:57

       ... they're out- they're on the outside. I call them islands. I always refer to them, like with other comics, like, there's certain comics that are like an island. Like-

    9. JGJim Gaffigan35:04

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan35:04

        ... they're not in a community like most of us are. We're completely-

    11. JGJim Gaffigan35:07

        Well, I think there's something about, um, the, the ambition. It's like, if ambition takes over, if you care about ambition more than community, that's a problem.

    12. JRJoe Rogan35:20

        It's a problem.

    13. JGJim Gaffigan35:21

        It's a big problem.

17. 35:22 – 37:37

    How many comics are there

    1. JGJim Gaffigan35:22

    2. JRJoe Rogan35:22

       Well, it's like, there's not many of us, Jim. I mean, how many comics are there, really, legitimately on Earth? Is there even a thousand? Are there even a thousand-

    3. JGJim Gaffigan35:31

       No.

    4. JRJoe Rogan35:31

       ... working professional comedians that make a living and can headline clubs and theaters?

    5. JGJim Gaffigan35:37

       I think-

    6. JRJoe Rogan35:38

       I, I don't even think it's a thousand.

    7. JGJim Gaffigan35:39

       I think it's really strange, and this is along the same lines. How people, um ... and, and, and the public perception is so off on this, is that what people don't realize is that comedians with completely different views on a lot of different things, stylistically, dramatically different, um, in the green room, they're a hu- you know, they're, they're all getting along.

    8. JRJoe Rogan36:06

       Yeah.

    9. JGJim Gaffigan36:07

       Like, there is obviously some people that don't get along, and there's people that go astray, and, uh, you know, they can get a- become outcasts because they steal material or whatever. But I think this notion that comedians wish ill upon each other is so false.

    10. JRJoe Rogan36:26

        It's very false.

    11. JGJim Gaffigan36:27

        And it's-

    12. JRJoe Rogan36:27

        Especially good ones.

    13. JGJim Gaffigan36:28

        It's so weird, because the reality is, is that comedians are these weird, kinda misfits in a way that when another comedian does something, even if they don't like it, they, uh, they're, like, on the same stage.

    14. JRJoe Rogan36:44

        Yeah.

    15. JGJim Gaffigan36:45

        It's weird.

    16. JRJoe Rogan36:45

        Yeah.

    17. JGJim Gaffigan36:46

        Whereas, I think in other aspects of the entertainment industry, it isn't the case. Like, I, I presented ... I don't wanna brag, but I presented at the Country Music Awards.

    18. JRJoe Rogan36:56

        Ooh.

    19. JGJim Gaffigan36:57

        Uh, no. And what was so interesting is I don't ... I know, I know very little about country music, but-... the sense of community there was sincere.

    20. JRJoe Rogan37:07

        Hmm.

    21. JGJim Gaffigan37:08

        Like it was an award show, and they opened the show with these 10 stars, you know, from Brandi Carlile to Dolly Parton to like, you know, uh, that's probably all the country music. (laughs)

    22. JRJoe Rogan37:23

        (laughs)

    23. JGJim Gaffigan37:24

        But they all... There wasn't the hierarchy.

    24. JRJoe Rogan37:28

        Mm-hmm.

    25. JGJim Gaffigan37:28

        And what people don't realize, I think, with comedians is that, yeah, there, there's some hierarchy, but that disappears pretty quick.

    26. JRJoe Rogan37:36

        It disappears

18. 37:37 – 39:09

    How many headliners are there

    1. JRJoe Rogan37:37

       with, when someone kills.

    2. JGJim Gaffigan37:39

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan37:39

       If someone's a killer, like y- th- like, they, uh, immediately get brought into the fold.

    4. JGJim Gaffigan37:44

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan37:44

       If you see y- someone and they do a 20-minute set and they fucking murder, you're like, "God," you wanna grab him, "Dude."

    6. JGJim Gaffigan37:49

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan37:49

       "That was fucking awesome."

    8. JGJim Gaffigan37:50

       Yeah. Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan37:51

       We're ha- well, 'cause we're happy that someone else made it through. There's-

    10. JGJim Gaffigan37:54

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan37:54

        Uh, uh, again, we're talking about how many people there are. There are working professional comedians. How many headliners are there in the United States of America? Real headliners.

    12. JGJim Gaffigan38:03

        I-

    13. JRJoe Rogan38:03

        Is there 500? I don't even think there's 500.

    14. JGJim Gaffigan38:06

        But I even think, like, some of it is not necessarily even the headliners. It's like-

    15. JRJoe Rogan38:11

        Oh, yeah.

    16. JGJim Gaffigan38:11

        ... there's different kind of, um... There's different tools that people have. That's why it's so weird. And I love acting, but, like, when I work on a movie and you get a call sheet and there's, like, f- c- these... And some of it is for organizational purposes, but you literally see this hierarchy played out.

    17. JRJoe Rogan38:33

        Yes.

    18. JGJim Gaffigan38:33

        And you're like, "Oh, wow, that's strange." And, and, uh, whenever I work on a movie, my manager's like, "Don't expect actors to be comedians," because you work with a comedian for three days and you're... The status is evened out.

    19. JRJoe Rogan38:50

        Right.

    20. JGJim Gaffigan38:50

        Do you know what I mean? It doesn't matter if someone's headlining or someone's middling, and that's not the case in the... You know, that's why I think people want awards, is because... So when you go into this hierarchy, you're like, "No, I can come in. I got this nomination."

19. 39:09 – 40:07

    High billing

    1. JGJim Gaffigan39:09

    2. JRJoe Rogan39:09

       I had a conversation with this... A friend of mine was dating an actress, and, uh, she was talking to me about, uh, NewsRadio, the sitcom I was on.

    3. JGJim Gaffigan39:18

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan39:18

       And she asked me what number I was billed on-

    5. JGJim Gaffigan39:24

       (laughs)

    6. JRJoe Rogan39:25

       ... in the credits. So what that means to, to everybody else at home, there's eight people in the cast, and she wanted to know what, when they said my name-

    7. JGJim Gaffigan39:34

       (sighs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan39:34

       ... like, when the opening credits-

    9. JGJim Gaffigan39:35

       She was an actor, right?

    10. JRJoe Rogan39:36

        Oh, yeah, 100%.

    11. JGJim Gaffigan39:38

        Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan39:38

        And I was like, "Wow, that's fascinating." Like, "That's, uh, interesting." She goes, "Oh, just, you know, it... My, my agent says it's very important to get high billing."

    13. JGJim Gaffigan39:45

        Hmm. (laughs)

    14. JRJoe Rogan39:47

        Like, where y- where they list you, like, Let..." NewsRadio with Dave Foley."

    15. JGJim Gaffigan39:52

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan39:52

        "Andi Dick..." Like, all that. Like, when do, when do they say your name?

    17. JGJim Gaffigan39:57

        (laughs) Wow.

    18. JRJoe Rogan39:58

        (laughs)

    19. JGJim Gaffigan39:58

        But I must, I must feel for her because she didn't know that.

    20. JRJoe Rogan40:04

        No.

    21. JGJim Gaffigan40:04

        She was kinda programmed. It's-

    22. JRJoe Rogan40:05

        Well, she was young and

20. 40:07 – 41:45

    Authenticity

    1. JRJoe Rogan40:07

       she was trying to make-

    2. JGJim Gaffigan40:08

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan40:08

       ... it in the busine... I mean, it... She wasn't malicious. She was just... This was a concern.

    4. JGJim Gaffigan40:13

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan40:13

       Like, one day she wanted to be on a sitcom or a show, and she wanted to have a good billing.

    6. JGJim Gaffigan40:18

       Yeah. Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan40:19

       So she just wanted to ask me what it was like.

    8. JGJim Gaffigan40:22

       Yeah. So weird.

    9. JRJoe Rogan40:24

       It's so weird. Yeah.

    10. JGJim Gaffigan40:26

        That's so weird. That's-

    11. JRJoe Rogan40:27

        You know when you know the-

    12. JGJim Gaffigan40:27

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan40:27

        ... comedians get along? When we meet each other in the airport.

    14. JGJim Gaffigan40:31

        (laughs)

    15. JRJoe Rogan40:31

        When you meet someone in the airport, you're like, "Ah."

    16. JGJim Gaffigan40:34

        Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughs)

    17. JRJoe Rogan40:34

        "Where you working? Where you been?" You know?

    18. JGJim Gaffigan40:37

        Yeah, yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan40:37

        That's the number one time.

    20. JGJim Gaffigan40:39

        Yeah. There's certain things that, uh... Yeah. There's... You know, authenticity is a really important attribute.

    21. JRJoe Rogan40:48

        Huge.

    22. JGJim Gaffigan40:50

        It's, it's really... So when the, the concept... I mean, we're talking about Carlin who essentially reinvented himself. You know what I mean? But, like, you're... You know, comedians are on this journey to find their more authentic selves.

    23. JRJoe Rogan41:07

        Yeah.

    24. JGJim Gaffigan41:08

        And it is... It's all s... You know, standup comedy is all self-assignment, you know? It's like Comedy Monster is my ninth special and... But no one's saying, "Hey, can you do another special?" It's like...

    25. JRJoe Rogan41:21

        You decide when you're gonna do it.

    26. JGJim Gaffigan41:22

        It's all-

    27. JRJoe Rogan41:23

        Yeah.

    28. JGJim Gaffigan41:23

        ... selfish. It's similar, um, y- you know, it's similar to what you've created. No one said, "Hey..." Like, people like to think, oh, there's someone back there saying, "Hey, Joe, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna move to Austin. You're gonna open a comedy club. You're gonna do this." There's no one doing that. It's you.

    29. JRJoe Rogan41:43

        Yeah.

    30. JGJim Gaffigan41:44

        It's, it's

21. 41:45 – 43:31

    Moving to Texas

    1. JGJim Gaffigan41:45

       you.

    2. JRJoe Rogan41:45

       Not only that, there's a lot of people telling me, "Don't do that."

    3. JGJim Gaffigan41:47

       Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan41:49

       (laughs) There's... All of people that... Like, when I got this big Spotify deal and I'm like, "I'm gonna move to Texas," they're like, "No."

    5. JGJim Gaffigan41:55

       (laughs)

    6. JRJoe Rogan41:55

       "What are you doing? Don't fuck this up. Like, you have something great going on in Los Angeles." And I'm like, "It's gonna be fine. Uh, we gotta go. I gotta get outta here."

    7. JGJim Gaffigan42:04

       Wow.

    8. JRJoe Rogan42:05

       I'm like, "I'm gonna live my life." Like, th- this is something I do during my life, but I'm gonna live my life. And my life, my instincts are, "I gotta get the fuck outta Dodge." I'm like, "This city is n- it's not the same city anymore." It's like it's got a mask on. It's the... It got the old LA mask, and behind it is danger, and corrupt government, and a, a, a l- a lack of accountability, about the economy collapsing. Like, "See ya, I'm getting the fuck outta here." So they were not happy with that. Like, there was a lot of people that were very nervous, the people that, you know, profit off of the show. But I was like, "I'm going. I'm, I'm gonna do what I do, and this is what..." My, my instincts are always just to do what I do. What do I wanna do? "I wanna get out of here, so I'm gonna get out of here." I'm... I would never stay just because, like, somebody else thought it would have b- be a better idea. I'm like, "Eh, I think we'll be fine."

    9. JGJim Gaffigan42:55

       Yeah. Yeah, it's really interesting that, um, no one... Even when you're told you're funny, to do standup-... you have to, you, not only do you have to get up there yourself, but you als-... Now it just sounds like I'm patting myself on the back.

    10. JRJoe Rogan43:11

        No, but it's true.

    11. JGJim Gaffigan43:12

        It's like, you have to also, when the crowd more or less says, "I hate you."

    12. JRJoe Rogan43:20

        (laughs)

    13. JGJim Gaffigan43:21

        You have to still do it.

    14. JRJoe Rogan43:23

        Yeah, you have to fuck-... Well, they hated me, but one day-

    15. JGJim Gaffigan43:26

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan43:27

        ... you'll see it.

    17. JGJim Gaffigan43:28

        It's, it's a me-... It's a form of mental illness.

    18. JRJoe Rogan43:30

        Oh,

22. 43:31 – 45:34

    Bombing

    1. JRJoe Rogan43:31

       100%. If you don't have mental illness, there's no way you're gonna make it, because you're gonna have to get past the bombing. The bombing should be enough pain to-

    2. JGJim Gaffigan43:39

       Stop any of it.

    3. JRJoe Rogan43:40

       ... force anybody out of the business.

    4. JGJim Gaffigan43:41

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan43:41

       I always said that bombing is like sucking 1,000 dicks in front of your mother, but I think that's not true. Because there's gotta be a guy out there who would like to suck 1,000 dicks in front of his mom.

    6. JGJim Gaffigan43:51

       Right.

    7. JRJoe Rogan43:51

       There's gotta be a guy out there who'd be like, "See this, Mom? 999. This one's for you."

    8. JGJim Gaffigan43:55

       (laughs)

    9. JRJoe Rogan43:55

       "You fucking raised me wrong." But (laughs) ...

    10. JGJim Gaffigan43:58

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan43:58

        But no one wants to bomb, no one. No one wants to say jokes-

    12. JGJim Gaffigan44:02

        It's just-

    13. JRJoe Rogan44:02

        ... that they hope get a laugh, and then they fall flat.

    14. JGJim Gaffigan44:05

        And by the way, the term bomb is a gentle description of public humiliation.

    15. JRJoe Rogan44:12

        Yes.

    16. JGJim Gaffigan44:12

        It is full, wholesale... It is, uh, y- you know, it occurs where there are people that look at you with a level of disgust. By the way, I was on a plane next to, um, Chris Christie, and I, uh... And it was interesting, because I was thinking about him. And people were getting on the plane, and, um, people were very polite. But I was like, "This guy..." So many politicians, ag- ag-... You know, and he's a fighter, but so many of these politicians, maybe they almost crave kind of, like, saying something that the audience doesn't like. Do you know what I'm saying?

    17. JRJoe Rogan44:59

        Hmm.

    18. JGJim Gaffigan44:59

        So, you know how, like, the shock?

    19. JRJoe Rogan45:01

        Yeah.

    20. JGJim Gaffigan45:01

        So, comedy, some of it is surprise and shock. But, like, I was sitting next to him, and I'm like, "He's a fighter." Most of these politicians, do they get off on the groan that the comedian sometimes gets?

    21. JRJoe Rogan45:16

        (laughs)

    22. JGJim Gaffigan45:16

        You know, like, when you say something and the audience is like, "Oh," but you did it for yourself.

    23. JRJoe Rogan45:21

        (laughs) Yes.

    24. JGJim Gaffigan45:22

        Do you know what I'm saying?

    25. JRJoe Rogan45:22

        Yes.

    26. JGJim Gaffigan45:23

        And I obviously do it to a much lesser dis-, uh, extent than you filthy comics.

    27. JRJoe Rogan45:29

        (laughs)

    28. JGJim Gaffigan45:29

        But does, does he... Do politicians get off on that?

23. 45:34 – 47:32

    Human Nature

    1. JGJim Gaffigan45:34

       'Cause-

    2. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       I think it's probably a contrarian thing. It's probably a human nature thing. Like, people like saying things that other people don't wanna hear, especially if they can be proven right.

    3. JGJim Gaffigan45:43

       Wow. Yeah.

    4. JRJoe Rogan45:45

       Well, that guy single-handedly made me not scared of COVID.

    5. JGJim Gaffigan45:48

       But he survived.

    6. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       Oh, yeah. I'm like, "He survived?"

    7. JGJim Gaffigan45:51

       (laughs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan45:53

       "I'm fucking fine." (laughs)

    9. JGJim Gaffigan45:56

       (laughs)

    10. JRJoe Rogan45:56

        I'm like, "Dude-

    11. JGJim Gaffigan45:57

        But he also-

    12. JRJoe Rogan45:57

        ... I'm gonna cruise right through this shit."

    13. JGJim Gaffigan45:58

        ... he also got all the good stuff, right?

    14. JRJoe Rogan46:00

        Everybody should get all the good stuff, Jim.

    15. JGJim Gaffigan46:02

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan46:02

        That's what's going on. That's what's fucked up. They should-

    17. JGJim Gaffigan46:03

        Well, that's why you're running for governor of Florida.

    18. JRJoe Rogan46:06

        Yeah. Well, DeSantis is doing a great job. I'm gonna run for, like, Arkansas, somewhere no one else votes. Somewhere easy.

    19. JGJim Gaffigan46:13

        But then you'd... Then you're moving to Arkansas.

    20. JRJoe Rogan46:16

        That's what Bill Clinton did.

    21. JGJim Gaffigan46:17

        Well, but he was from there.

    22. JRJoe Rogan46:19

        Barely.

    23. JGJim Gaffigan46:20

        Barely?

    24. JRJoe Rogan46:21

        Was he?

    25. JGJim Gaffigan46:22

        Yeah, he was raised in Hope, Arkansas.

    26. JRJoe Rogan46:25

        Really?

    27. JGJim Gaffigan46:25

        Yes.

    28. JRJoe Rogan46:26

        That's a place?

    29. JGJim Gaffigan46:27

        Yes.

    30. JRJoe Rogan46:28

        Who knows? No one lives there.
24. 47:32 – 51:18

    Atheist

    1. JRJoe Rogan47:32

       comes with too much baggage. I don't like the term atheist. I-

    2. JGJim Gaffigan47:35

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan47:35

       It's like to me being an atheist is, um... I know it means without a god. You don't believe in, you know... You're not a theist, right? But I think it's, uh... It's very arrogant to pretend we have any idea what happens when we die.

    4. JGJim Gaffigan47:50

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan47:51

       And do I believe that there was a man who walked on water and died and came back to life, and... No. But I- I- I think that-

    6. JGJim Gaffigan47:59

       That's very antisemitic of you.

    7. JRJoe Rogan48:00

       Most of what-

    8. JGJim Gaffigan48:01

       I'm joking.

    9. JRJoe Rogan48:01

       This is... This is... Most of what that is, if you understand human language and you understand history, is, you know, you're dealing with stories that were thousands of years old before they were ever written down.

    10. JGJim Gaffigan48:13

        Yeah. And they're in a lot of different cultures, too.

    11. JRJoe Rogan48:15

        Yes.

    12. JGJim Gaffigan48:16

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan48:16

        Yes. Well, Epic of Gilgamesh is, like, the oldest version of the Bible. In terms of, like, the stories of Noah's Ark, it's kind of... It's got roots in there. There's a lot of... There's a lot of, like, parallels that makes you think. And I'm, and I'm a firm believer that a lot of what that is, is documenting cataclysmic disasters that happened to the human race. And those have been substantiated by archeologists and by people that are geologists that study core samples. And there's been some epic moments where most people were wiped out, and they survived. And a lot of these stories, I think, are the basis of a lot of the roots of these stories that are in the Bible and the Torah and the... A lot, a lot of ancient religions. But as... The idea of, like, is there a God? It very... There very well could be something. Very well. And I'm, I'm not-

    14. JGJim Gaffigan49:08

        Why... You should have him as a guest on your show.

    15. JRJoe Rogan49:10

        I would love to.

    16. JGJim Gaffigan49:11

        Right?

    17. JRJoe Rogan49:12

        Um...

    18. JGJim Gaffigan49:13

        ... uh, why do we assume it's a he?

    19. JRJoe Rogan49:15

        Y- I don't think it has a gender, right?

    20. JGJim Gaffigan49:17

        Right.

    21. JRJoe Rogan49:18

        It's probably something, it's probably something that is the energy that creates the entire universe itself. There's probably a thing, whatever that thing is. And I think to try to label it and try to box it in with our pathetic language is pretty silly.

    22. JGJim Gaffigan49:38

        Right.

    23. JRJoe Rogan49:38

        Yeah.

    24. JGJim Gaffigan49:38

        Our understanding.

    25. JRJoe Rogan49:40

        Yeah.

    26. JGJim Gaffigan49:40

        It's, it's very s- interesting because obviously, um, I'm not in a 12-step program, but that is a faith-based thing.

    27. JRJoe Rogan49:50

        Yes.

    28. JGJim Gaffigan49:50

        And, and I do think that, um, the notion for me personally that, um, there is something up that is I'm not in control is really important. So that, and that possibly there is a notion of something that can forgive me or that I should not, uh, be caught up in this twist of self-hatred is really important to me. And so-

    29. JRJoe Rogan50:21

        And so that is how you balance your ego, and y- you feel like that helps you?

    30. JGJim Gaffigan50:25

        Yeah, I mean, it's ... I mean, that all being said is that all these things I'm saying I, I will forget in a day.
25. 51:18 – 53:54

    Self Destruction

    1. JRJoe Rogan51:18

       um, it's not i- i- it's not mandatory. You know, it's not something that's unavoidable. You can avoid it. It's ... You know, the idea that it's, uh, self-destruction is inheritive. It, it, it's in, um ... It's inherent to whether it's rock and roll or art or comedy or even actors.

    2. JGJim Gaffigan51:40

       Yeah.

    3. JRJoe Rogan51:40

       I just think we just ... It's so hard to not be. It's very ... I mean, with rock stars, my God. I mean, how many rock stars have self-destructed?

    4. JGJim Gaffigan51:48

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan51:48

       They're on that stage, jammin' out, and everybody's screaming they love 'em, and then silence, then they're alone.

    6. JGJim Gaffigan51:54

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan51:54

       And then they wanna be surrounded by people that keep feeding them that love.

    8. JGJim Gaffigan51:56

       And then they go to a bar and they meet Lady Gaga, and then-

    9. JRJoe Rogan51:59

       Oh, that movie?

    10. JGJim Gaffigan52:00

        I didn't see it. I saw the first five minutes.

    11. JRJoe Rogan52:03

        I didn't see it either. (laughs)

    12. JGJim Gaffigan52:04

        (laughs)

    13. JRJoe Rogan52:04

        Yeah, it's, uh, it's a crazy world. It's, it's ... And it's also ... One of the things about being, uh, a comic or any entertainer that becomes very successful is there's not much of a blueprint for you to follow.

    14. JGJim Gaffigan52:17

        No. And the blueprint changes. So when people ask for advice, you're like, "You know, what worked six months ago is not gonna work."

    15. JRJoe Rogan52:25

        Right.

    16. JGJim Gaffigan52:25

        So even your relocation to Austin to this address, uh, which I'm gonna announce. No. (laughs)

    17. JRJoe Rogan52:33

        (laughs)

    18. JGJim Gaffigan52:34

        Is, is ... That doesn't apply to now.

    19. JRJoe Rogan52:38

        No.

    20. JGJim Gaffigan52:39

        You know, the, uh, the, uh ... You know, like I remember in stand-up, starting, you know, like what I did, like when I did open mics, there were no, there was no audience. There weren't even bringer shows really.

    21. JRJoe Rogan52:53

        Right, right.

    22. JGJim Gaffigan52:53

        It was like you were performing in front of other mentally ill people.

    23. JRJoe Rogan52:57

        (laughs)

    24. JGJim Gaffigan52:58

        (laughs) It was like-

    25. JRJoe Rogan52:59

        There'd be a few audience members, like 10.

    26. JGJim Gaffigan53:01

        You know, maybe s-

    27. JRJoe Rogan53:02

        Yeah.

    28. JGJim Gaffigan53:02

        ... an alcoholic who was drinking-

    29. JRJoe Rogan53:04

        Yeah.

    30. JGJim Gaffigan53:04

        ... at 5:00 PM.
26. 53:54 – 56:42

    The Mob

    1. JRJoe Rogan53:54

       Nick's Comedy Stop. There's some places that were, I mean, allegedly, I don't know for sure, I can't, I could never say this in court, fully run by the mob and, you know, they, they had these wild ties to organized crime when they were running comedy clubs. And I'm sure they're moving money around and stuff.

    2. JGJim Gaffigan54:13

       It's crazy.

    3. JRJoe Rogan54:14

       But it was awesome. The people that were there, the, the comedians, they were so talented. They were so good. And they never changed their material ever.

    4. JGJim Gaffigan54:22

       Right. They didn't need to.

    5. JRJoe Rogan54:23

       No. They, they didn't do any specials. None of those guys did specials. And all those guys had an hour that would fucking shake the foundation of the building.

    6. JGJim Gaffigan54:33

       Yeah.

    7. JRJoe Rogan54:33

       Like Don Gavin, Steve Sweeny, and Kevin Knox, and you know, there were so many of those guys.

    8. JGJim Gaffigan54:40

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan54:40

       Mike Donovan. They were monsters. They were monsters. Kenny Rogerson.

    10. JGJim Gaffigan54:45

        Yeah.

    11. JRJoe Rogan54:45

        I g- I remember watching them, going, "How does the world not know about these fucking people?" Like they were, uh, they were as good, if not better than anybody that was on Evening at the Improv or HBO or ... And they never left. They stayed in this one town and there were so many clubs that they could work at that they didn't, had no desire to leave. And they would leave. They would go to other places and the other places, people wouldn't know them.

    12. JGJim Gaffigan55:10

        Right.

    13. JRJoe Rogan55:10

        And they wouldn't get the same reaction. So they'd come back to Boston again.

    14. JGJim Gaffigan55:14

        Yeah, but isn't that ...

    15. JRJoe Rogan55:16

        ... it's a trap.

    16. JGJim Gaffigan55:18

        A, a, a, it's, it is a trap, right?

    17. JRJoe Rogan55:19

        It's a trap. Yeah, it's a trap. Yeah. They, they could have been world-class everywhere, and they chose to not do that and to stay within the confines of the c- the comfort of their, their playground.

    18. JGJim Gaffigan55:31

        Which is almost the, uh, the upside down version of you being able to go to Austin, right?

    19. JRJoe Rogan55:39

        Right.

    20. JGJim Gaffigan55:39

        So, you going to Austin, you're like, "I can go where I want, and I'm gonna go here." And the, the, them not leaving Boston, you know, it's similar... You know, like, look, I grew up in a small town and there were people that, when I moved to New York, were kind of like, "Ooh, uh, how'd you get that?" And I'm like, "You can-"

    21. JRJoe Rogan56:03

        "You can move too."

    22. JGJim Gaffigan56:04

        ... "You can move there too."

    23. JRJoe Rogan56:05

        (laughs)

    24. JGJim Gaffigan56:05

        There's... (laughs) They stopped asking for a passport. And so-

    25. JRJoe Rogan56:09

        They thought you found a ticket somewhere.

    26. JGJim Gaffigan56:10

        ... there is something... You know, there's the comfort they o- enjoyed. They were also, you know, partying their ass off.

    27. JRJoe Rogan56:17

        Yeah.

    28. JGJim Gaffigan56:17

        But you have to... I guess you gotta make yourself uncomfortable, don't you?

    29. JRJoe Rogan56:22

        Oh, it's the most important thing. It's the most important thing. If you strive for comfort, you're fucked. You, you, you can't do that. There's... I mean, it's not bad to be comfortable occasionally.

    30. JGJim Gaffigan56:33

        How do you carry on the lessons that you've acquired? How do you give those to your children?
27. 56:42 – 1:17:49

    My Kids

    1. JRJoe Rogan56:42

       hard.

    2. JGJim Gaffigan56:42

       Is it nature or nurture?

    3. JRJoe Rogan56:43

       I mean, I think it's both. It's both, for sure. I mean, I have, uh, one kid, my middle kid, who is a fucking straight up psycho. I don't have to tell her anything. She is just so driven and so smart and disciplined. And then I have my youngest who is really artistic.

    4. JGJim Gaffigan57:02

       Yeah.

    5. JRJoe Rogan57:02

       And was less motivated, but now she does a lot of sports and she's more motivated. And then I have my oldest who is probably, like, one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. And I'm like, "You are so nice. And the fact that you grew up with me..." (laughs)

    6. JGJim Gaffigan57:19

       (laughs)

    7. JRJoe Rogan57:19

       And you've, you've become this incredibly kind and sweet person. So, it's like, you don't-

    8. JGJim Gaffigan57:28

       Yeah.

    9. JRJoe Rogan57:28

       ... y- y- you can't pick how your kids are gonna turn out.

    10. JGJim Gaffigan57:32

        No.

    11. JRJoe Rogan57:32

        You can do your very best to influence them and to give them lessons and to teach them things, but my children grew up wealthy.

    12. JGJim Gaffigan57:41

        Yeah.

    13. JRJoe Rogan57:41

        There's no way they're not going to be wealthy. They've never had to worry about whether or not we're gonna have food. I remember when I was a kid and we were on welfare, wondering if we were gonna have food.

    14. JGJim Gaffigan57:50

        Wow.

    15. JRJoe Rogan57:50

        And when you're seven years old and that's in your head, that fucks with you.

    16. JGJim Gaffigan57:55

        Yeah.

    17. JRJoe Rogan57:55

        And it gives you this feeling of... I- it's not just a lack of security. It's, um... It, it lights a fire under your ass to go out and do things 'cause you realize, like, you have to... Like, the, how people used to be in the fucking pioneer days. They had to go get food.

    18. JGJim Gaffigan58:12

        Yeah.

    19. JRJoe Rogan58:12

        There was no stores. They had to go get it. They had to go-

    20. JGJim Gaffigan58:15

        Yeah.

    21. JRJoe Rogan58:15

        ... get the food. They had to either grow food-

    22. JGJim Gaffigan58:17

        And there, there was no air conditioning.

    23. JRJoe Rogan58:18

        There was no air conditioning. Imagine that.

    24. JGJim Gaffigan58:21

        Fuck. That sucks.

    25. JRJoe Rogan58:21

        Imagine being here.

    26. JGJim Gaffigan58:22

        Ugh.

    27. JRJoe Rogan58:22

        No AC?

    28. JGJim Gaffigan58:23

        No, thanks.

    29. JRJoe Rogan58:24

        In the summer? I mean, at least we have a river. Jump in the river.

    30. JGJim Gaffigan58:28

        Right?

Episode duration: 2:58:43