Joe Rogan Experience #1761 - Jim Gaffigan

Narrator 0:00 (drumming) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Joe Rogan 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music) Hello, Joe.

Jim Gaffigan 0:13 Hello.

Joe Rogan 0:14 Good to see you again, my friend.

Jim Gaffigan 0:15 I am thrilled to be here.

Joe Rogan 0:17 And now we know that you had COVID.

Jim Gaffigan 0:19 I had COVID.

Joe Rogan 0:20 And you shook it off like it was nothing.

Jim Gaffigan 0:21 I shook it off. I mean, I didn't need those monoclonal... I mean, you're a weak person, Joe.

Joe Rogan 0:26 Compared to you?

Jim Gaffigan 0:26 Like, if, if you were like me, you wouldn't need that stuff.

Joe Rogan 0:30 I wouldn't need anything.

Jim Gaffigan 0:31 I was out there-

Joe Rogan 0:32 You didn't even know you had it.

Jim Gaffigan 0:33 I had it, I was out there spreading it.

Joe Rogan 0:36 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 0:37 (laughs) Unaware that I was spreading it. I feel so bad.

Joe Rogan 0:40 Well-

Jim Gaffigan 0:41 I w- I was wearing a mask.

Joe Rogan 0:42 Most people... Uh, I don't think that works.

Jim Gaffigan 0:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:44 Most people did that. Most people were out there spreading it. I mean, they, what do they say? Like, the, the, the people that don't show any symptoms, the asymptomatic folks, they were in the high 40%.

Jim Gaffigan 0:56 Wow.

Joe Rogan 0:57 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 0:57 That's a lot of people.

Joe Rogan 0:58 It's crazy. Yeah. But this is not like even PCR tests, right? 'Cause one of the things that... As of December 31st, the, um... I b- believes it was the CDC put this regulation in place, they stopped using the standard PCR test for COVID because there's too many false positives. They're... They catch people with influenza, other coronaviruses, c- common colds, were testing positive for COVID-19.

Jim Gaffigan 1:20 Now, do you feel a certain responsibility? I have so many questions.

Joe Rogan 1:25 It's okay. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:25 I know it's the Joe Rogan Experience, but this is-

Joe Rogan 1:27 Please.

Jim Gaffigan 1:27 ... g- gonna be me interviewing you.

Joe Rogan 1:28 I'm with the questions.

Jim Gaffigan 1:29 Is like-

Joe Rogan 1:30 Shake us off.

Jim Gaffigan 1:30 ... do you feel a certain responsibility to... Because just even chatting before, the, the, the breadth of knowledge that you have on this, I mean, and it's shifting constantly, right? So like, Omicron is... Like, for me, Omicron was kind of like a Dateline episode. They're like, "Here's what we know, but now we'll go to a commercial break." And like, they just kept... We still don't know, but like, you seem to know and you obviously interview a lot of brilliant people like me-

Joe Rogan 2:02 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 2:02 ... that, um, will give you some of this information.

Joe Rogan 2:05 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 2:05 But like, look, when I met you, you were, uh... This was before news radio and you'd had stand-up where you were like, uh, imitating tigers fucking.

Joe Rogan 2:16 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 2:16 How did (laughs) ... How do you go from that to like n- you know, like... Particularly on COVID 'cause the information's changing.

Joe Rogan 2:24 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 2:24 How can you stay updated?

Joe Rogan 2:26 I don't know.

Jim Gaffigan 2:29 It's a strange path.

Joe Rogan 2:30 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 2:30 Right? I mean-

Joe Rogan 2:30 It's a very... It's... Well, well, it's not a path that I took on purpose.

Jim Gaffigan 2:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:34 That's, that's what's weird about it.

Jim Gaffigan 2:35 Well, you've always had a curious mind.

Joe Rogan 2:36 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 2:37 All comedians.

Joe Rogan 2:38 I've always been curious. Yeah. I've, I think so.

Jim Gaffigan 2:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:39 For the most part. But, um, with, uh... Not just with COVID, with pretty much every discussion that I have with people that's about something that's fascinating to me, I just have a very unusual memory.

Jim Gaffigan 2:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:52 And I a- also, I have this, uh... I, I, I have this unique opportunity, opportunity to pick people's brains.

Jim Gaffigan 3:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:00 And have these conversations with people where I can ask them these questions.

Jim Gaffigan 3:03 Right. And it's, it's invaluable. Here's my other main question that I've been dying to know. How do you... Because in the entertainment industry or creative people, we all know that, um, you know, there's the drive, there's... Uh, but the downfall is ego.

Joe Rogan 3:24 Mm.

Jim Gaffigan 3:25 How have you navigated this empire where you now own 3/4 of Texas?

Joe Rogan 3:32 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 3:32 (laughs) And how, how have you managed to not succumb to like some Shakespearean story of where hubris... Do you know what I'm saying? Like how-

Joe Rogan 3:44 I know what you're saying.

Jim Gaffigan 3:44 ... have you not self-destructed, where you're like, "You know what? I, I go on my meth bender."

Joe Rogan 3:49 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 3:49 You know what I mean? Like, you don't do any of that.

Joe Rogan 3:52 No. I, uh, I exercise really hard. That's, that's the big... Uh, no. Like, it sounds like bullshit, but that's really what it is.

Jim Gaffigan 3:59 That grounds you, though?

Joe Rogan 4:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the, the training that I do, the martial arts stuff and-

Jim Gaffigan 4:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:04 ... the kettlebell stuff and the strength and conditioning work-

Jim Gaffigan 4:07 S-

Joe Rogan 4:07 ... it's so hard that-

Jim Gaffigan 4:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:08 ... everything else is easy. And then I do like ice baths and saunas, and they're so hard that everything else is easy.

Jim Gaffigan 4:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:15 And so, that's where I struggle. I struggle in those areas, so that I, I don't like have this existential angst in the rest of life.

Jim Gaffigan 4:22 Well, all right. So, we strip away, we take... What if I stole your kettlebells? What if I, uh...

Joe Rogan 4:27 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 4:27 What if you... What would Joe Rogan be like without the exercise and the Instagram, uh, close-up of a sweaty face?

Joe Rogan 4:37 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 4:37 "I worked out today. I didn't want to, but I did it." What would you be like without that outlet? You'd be filled with anxiety.

Joe Rogan 4:45 It's... I'm not good if I just take a couple of days off. If I take a couple of days off, I get weird.

Jim Gaffigan 4:49 You'd be-

Joe Rogan 4:50 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 4:50 ... fatter than me, you think?

Joe Rogan 4:51 A lot... For sure.

Jim Gaffigan 4:52 You'd be-

Joe Rogan 4:53 You're superior.

Jim Gaffigan 4:54 I... You know, like I, I got COVID. I didn't even notice it.

Joe Rogan 4:57 You didn't even notice it.

Jim Gaffigan 4:57 But I, I didn't get the original COVID. I got the Omicron.

Joe Rogan 5:00 The new version. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 5:01 I got, you know-

Joe Rogan 5:01 It's like Gallagher Two of COVID.

Jim Gaffigan 5:03 Right. I got like... It's like a crypto version of...

Joe Rogan 5:06 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 5:06 I didn't get like... I got like one of the crypto... You know, like when you're on your Coinbase account, you're like, "Who's buying this shit?"

Joe Rogan 5:13 You got New Coke.

Jim Gaffigan 5:14 Yeah. I got New Coke.

Joe Rogan 5:16 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 5:16 I got New Coke (laughs) . I remember New Coke.

Joe Rogan 5:19 That did last, didn't it?

Jim Gaffigan 5:21 And is some-

Joe Rogan 5:22 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 5:22 ... of it... Is it yoga? Do you meditate?

Joe Rogan 5:23 Yeah. It's all those things. Yeah. Uh, I, I do a lot of my meditating while I'm in the sauna 'cause-

Jim Gaffigan 5:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:28 I used to listen to books on tape in the sauna.

Jim Gaffigan 5:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:30 But I realized it's actually beneficial to my head to just have nothing and just go-

Jim Gaffigan 5:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 5:35 ... in there and sit and think.

Jim Gaffigan 5:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:37 And so, for 20 minutes every day, I'm just sitting and thinking in this fucking oven.

Jim Gaffigan 5:42 And when you go to bed in your chamber-

Joe Rogan 5:45 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 5:45 ... right? In your tank. Do you sleep in an oxygen tank? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:49 No.

Jim Gaffigan 5:49 You don't.

Joe Rogan 5:49 No, but I do use-

Jim Gaffigan 5:50 But, like-

Joe Rogan 5:50 ... one sometimes.

Jim Gaffigan 5:51 You do?

Joe Rogan 5:51 I use a hyperbaric chamber sometimes.

Jim Gaffigan 5:53 Is that what-

Joe Rogan 5:53 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 5:53 ... LeBron does, right?

Joe Rogan 5:55 Oh, yeah, yeah. A lot of athletes do. It's really good.

Jim Gaffigan 5:57 And so... But when you go to bed, you're not like me falling asleep with the TV on. You... There's no-

Joe Rogan 6:02 No.

Jim Gaffigan 6:02 ... TV in your bedroom.

Joe Rogan 6:03 No. I don't watch... Well, there is one, but I don't use it.

Jim Gaffigan 6:05 You don't? And you-

Joe Rogan 6:06 Yeah. I've never even turned it on.... since I've been here.

Jim Gaffigan 6:08 What is your guilty pleasure?

Joe Rogan 6:10 Food.

Jim Gaffigan 6:11 You put mustard on your elk meat. What is your- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:13 Teddy, Teddy likes to eat a lot of food. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 6:15 You do love-

Joe Rogan 6:16 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 6:16 Like, those cheat meals. When I see, like, uh, the Rock's cheat meal-

Joe Rogan 6:20 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 6:20 ... it's like, wha- ... so he is not eating any th- ... like, he's not doing bread or sugar, and then he's d- ... like, he ... just the amount of diarrhea he must have on those cheat days, right?

Joe Rogan 6:32 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 6:32 It's gotta be like, "I don't ... I'm not cleaning that bowl."

Joe Rogan 6:35 Have you ever met him?

Jim Gaffigan 6:37 I have not.

Joe Rogan 6:37 He's enormous. He's like a-

Jim Gaffigan 6:39 He's a big guy.

Joe Rogan 6:39 ... superhero status. Like, when you're around him, like, you can't believe that's a real person.

Jim Gaffigan 6:43 Yeah, but is he happy?

Joe Rogan 6:44 He's so big.

Jim Gaffigan 6:44 He's very happy.

Joe Rogan 6:45 He seems very happy.

Jim Gaffigan 6:46 He's, like, a bazillionaire.

Joe Rogan 6:48 He's very wealthy. But, uh, my point is, like, his body can take in all that food. Like, there's plenty of room.

Jim Gaffigan 6:55 There's plenty of room.

Joe Rogan 6:55 When he's eating stacks of pancakes and giant cookies-

Jim Gaffigan 6:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:58 ... and ice cream, and, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 7:00 And that, you know, has ... once he sells his liquor company, then he's gonna be like, "I never drank any of it."

Joe Rogan 7:05 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 7:05 (laughs) But, uh, what about a ... do you have your own liquor?

Joe Rogan 7:09 No. No, I don't have my own liquor.

Jim Gaffigan 7:11 And, m- ... but you, uh-

Joe Rogan 7:13 I drink, though.

Jim Gaffigan 7:14 Yeah, but, like, y- you haven't been approached to have your own tequila or vodka?

Joe Rogan 7:18 I've been approached by some companies to do stuff. I mean, I may in the future. Wha- what I really like is whiskey, though.

Jim Gaffigan 7:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:25 I'm, I'm a whiskey person.

Jim Gaffigan 7:26 What about bourbon?

Joe Rogan 7:27 Uh, bourbon. You know-

Jim Gaffigan 7:28 Okay.

Joe Rogan 7:28 ... bourbon whiskey.

Jim Gaffigan 7:28 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:29 Bourbon is just a Kentucky form of it. Uh, why ... I like, uh, bourbon. I, I think bourbon's actually an American version of it, right? I like scotch too, but what I like is old stuff. That's the problem.

Jim Gaffigan 7:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:39 It's like, if you wanna make whiskey right, like Buffalo Trace.

Jim Gaffigan 7:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:43 It's eight years.

Jim Gaffigan 7:44 Wow.

Joe Rogan 7:45 It's gotta sit in the barrel for eight years. Like-

Jim Gaffigan 7:46 What's the most expensive whiskey that you've drank? Like, you're like, "I can't believe I had a-"

Joe Rogan 7:52 I drank some 21-year-old scotch. It was pretty expensive. It was really good, though.

Jim Gaffigan 7:57 Oh, yeah, I've had 21-year-old scotch.

Joe Rogan 7:58 Yeah. Do you want some?

Jim Gaffigan 7:59 That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 8:00 We have some 18-year-olds here.

Jim Gaffigan 8:02 I, I, I get nervous. Um-

Joe Rogan 8:04 Do you want a sip? You want a little sip?

Jim Gaffigan 8:05 Um, sure, I'll have some. Is it 21 years old?

Joe Rogan 8:08 I think it's ... what do we got here? 12 or 18 or something? Hold on. I'll find out.

Jim Gaffigan 8:12 What Joe does is he gets his guests a little bit buzzed, and then before you know it ...

Joe Rogan 8:19 Before you know it, you're talking shit. (bottle thuds on counter)

Jim Gaffigan 8:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:21 Uh, this is, uh, (clears throat) Glen- ... these are not sponsors. Glenlivet, this is 18 years old. And this is Macallan, this is 18 year old. (sniffs whiskey)

Jim Gaffigan 8:28 Wow.

Joe Rogan 8:28 I think Macallan for you, Gaffigan. It seems like a-

Jim Gaffigan 8:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:31 It seems like it goes with your heritage.

Jim Gaffigan 8:33 My heritage. I don't know.

Joe Rogan 8:36 Do you drink?

Jim Gaffigan 8:37 I d- ... I drink occasionally.

Joe Rogan 8:38 Occasionally? Well, this is an occasion, my friend.

Jim Gaffigan 8:40 I mean, it's been 25 years since I did, but ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:44 (laughs) Cheers.

Jim Gaffigan 8:46 Cheers. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:46 Good to see you, brother. (glasses clinking)

Jim Gaffigan 8:48 Um ...

Joe Rogan 8:50 Hmm. Like, that's smooth.

Jim Gaffigan 8:53 Now I gotta start over.

Joe Rogan 8:54 This is why I like this ... I know, now, one day sober. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 8:59 (laughs) No, but, like, so that's ... you work out in the morning.

Joe Rogan 9:02 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 9:03 And you'll ... h- how, how many days a week will you drink alcohol?

Joe Rogan 9:10 Depends on how many podcasts I do and what kind of animals are in here. Like, if comedians are in here, they like to drink.

Jim Gaffigan 9:15 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:16 You know? I'll have ... I like to have one drink before a show just to, kind of, like, get loose.

Jim Gaffigan 9:21 How many more years do you think we have with Bert Kreischer? I mean, I love Bert.

Joe Rogan 9:24 I love Bert.

Jim Gaffigan 9:25 But, like, he is-

Joe Rogan 9:26 It's a good question.

Jim Gaffigan 9:27 He is kind of like ... it's, uh ... he's a machine, but, like, it's like the machine-

Joe Rogan 9:31 He's a science project.

Jim Gaffigan 9:32 The machine sh- ... has been running at full throttle for a while.

Joe Rogan 9:36 And there's sand in the gears. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 9:39 (laughs) No, I mean, honestly, we love Bert, and we don't wanna-

Joe Rogan 9:41 I love him to death, but I ... we ... like, Tom is his best friend, and Tom and I have had conversations where we express concern, and I'm like-

Jim Gaffigan 9:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:48 "I don't know what to do." I mean, you can't, like ... you know, we ... that's one of the reasons why we did Sober October. We had this big competition-

Jim Gaffigan 9:55 It was to save Bert? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:56 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 9:57 No, really?

Joe Rogan 9:57 100%.

Jim Gaffigan 9:58 Oh, my gosh.

Joe Rogan 9:59 Yeah, it was to save Bert-

Jim Gaffigan 10:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:00 ... 'cause we thought he couldn't take a month off. In fact, his doctor was nervous about him taking a month off.

Jim Gaffigan 10:06 Because th- ... he might th- ... there might be a shock to the system?

Joe Rogan 10:09 Yeah. Well-

Jim Gaffigan 10:10 Oh, that's interesting.

Joe Rogan 10:10 ... alcohol and benzodiazepine are the two drugs that are the most dangerous to just quit cold turkey. Those are two drugs where people die from.

Jim Gaffigan 10:18 S- ... every ... now there's alcoholics listening to this, "Well, Joe said keep drinking." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:23 Keep going. (laughs) Well, you're supposed to wean yourself off of it, and you're supposed to, like ... when people detox from alcohol, they do it under medical supervision 'cause it's, it's very sketchy. It, it can-

Jim Gaffigan 10:33 Wow.

Joe Rogan 10:33 ... be really dangerous for your body.

Jim Gaffigan 10:35 Wow.

Joe Rogan 10:35 Your body ... uh, that's ... I believe that's what killed Amy Winehouse.

Jim Gaffigan 10:39 Really?

Joe Rogan 10:39 Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure she went cold turkey off of alcohol. See if that's true. I'm p- ... pretty sure, though, 'cause she was a r- ... really bad alcoholic. Brilliant fucking singer.

Jim Gaffigan 10:49 I thought it was other stuff. It was alcohol-

Joe Rogan 10:52 I don't believe so. I don't believe s-

Jim Gaffigan 10:53 ... and other stuff.

Joe Rogan 10:53 I think it was the alcohol that killed her, if I remember correctly. I might be wrong. We'll find out shortly. (clears throat)

Jim Gaffigan 10:58 It

Jim Gaffigan 10:59 feels like with generations-

Joe Rogan 11:01 There it is. Found dead inside her London apartment. Multiple investigations have concluded that Winehouse died of alcohol poisoning. Oh, wow, so she drank too much. With a coroner's report after her death revealing that Winehouse had a blood-alcohol content of 0.416, more than five times the legal limit to drive. Yeah, but I bet she did that all the time.

Jim Gaffigan 11:21 Yeah. No, I ... like, my father, you know, and that generation, they could put ... I mean, my dad-

Joe Rogan 11:28 They could put it away.

Jim Gaffigan 11:29 They could put it away. My dad ... like, I thought this was normal. My dad would get home from work, have a vodka, and then after dinner he'd have a scotch. Like, I thought that was normal.

Joe Rogan 11:39 Yeah, I thought that was normal too.

Jim Gaffigan 11:39 But that generation was like, boom.

Joe Rogan 11:41 Yeah, they died young.

Jim Gaffigan 11:42 They were ... I mean, my first job in advertising, I was sent every Friday to a liquor store to buy bottles of booze for different VPs.

Joe Rogan 11:51 Oh. Yeah, well, if you work in an office in a high-stress job, alcohol is almost, like, mandatory for those people just to, like, unwind, throw a couple ice cubes, and then they're like, "Jesus fucking Christ, what are we doing?"

Jim Gaffigan 12:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:03 Whoa. And at the end of the day, these guys just wanna do something to take the fucking edge off 'cause it's-

Jim Gaffigan 12:08 People put in their time.

Joe Rogan 12:09 They put in their time. I mean, if you're a g- ... a person who's in one of them high-stress jobs where you're working 12 hours a day, every fucking day, and then you bringing a lot of it home with you, right?

Jim Gaffigan 12:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:19 I mean, p- ... my God. And what a lot of people do ... I mean, think about how easy our fucking job is-

Jim Gaffigan 12:24 Oh, my gosh.

Joe Rogan 12:25 ... in comparison to, like, a real job.

Jim Gaffigan 12:26 It's an hour.

Joe Rogan 12:27 Oh my Jesus. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:29 It's so much easier.

Jim Gaffigan 12:30 Yeah. I mean, I ...... you know, I, I spent, uh, like, five days... 'cause, of course, all shows got reshuffled. So, my October, November, and December were really intense with tour dates. And so I was in Seattle, and I would do my shows and go back to my hotel room and just write. And, uh, I mean, it was... I just can't articulate how much I loved it.

Joe Rogan 12:58 That's awesome.

Jim Gaffigan 12:58 It was just, like, performing and writing is just so incredibly rewarding. I know your point is, like, compared to people that are, like, mixing cement. I mean-

Joe Rogan 13:08 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:08 ... it's, like, so easy, but it's also the level of stress and the amount of time, like...

Joe Rogan 13:14 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:15 Like, we don't have to be around people that much.

Joe Rogan 13:17 (laughs) It's only, like-

Jim Gaffigan 13:18 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 13:18 ... a couple hours a night.

Jim Gaffigan 13:19 It's just like-

Joe Rogan 13:20 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:20 All right. I mean, we do eat a lot of shit on the way up.

Joe Rogan 13:23 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 13:24 You know what I mean? But...

Joe Rogan 13:25 That, that is definitely an issue. I mean, it weeds out people that aren't absolutely determined to make it 'cause it's so difficult.

Jim Gaffigan 13:34 Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Like, I remember at one point, my brother-in-law was like... He was... I was doing spots in the city, and he was like, "What do you get paid for these spots?" And this was true at the time. I was like, "$8." And he goes, "You get $8 to work?" And I'm like, "Yeah," and he's like... And I'm like, "But it's 15 minutes," and he's like, "Wait a minute. You get eight do-" Like, that was... Then, they're, they, uh... Now, people get compensated more for a spot in the city. But it was $8.

Joe Rogan 14:02 Yeah, and that's how it was at the store too.

Jim Gaffigan 14:04 And you didn't care.

Joe Rogan 14:05 Yeah, you didn't care.

Jim Gaffigan 14:06 Didn't care.

Joe Rogan 14:06 Well, the, uh, the goal, the ultimate goal was to get road work. Like, to really get a, a gig. Like, to be headlining at the weekend at an improv, like-

Jim Gaffigan 14:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:17 ... "Oh, my God. I'm really there. It's my name on the marquee. Holy shit. People are coming out to see me," and that is almost... It feels unattainable to people that are just starting out. The idea-

Jim Gaffigan 14:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:26 ... that one day, someone's gonna come see you.

Jim Gaffigan 14:28 Yeah, I mean, it was... Like, I remember Giraldo was like, he wanted to tour, and I was like, "I just wanna be a writer on Letterman."

Joe Rogan 14:34 Mm.

Jim Gaffigan 14:34 That's all I wanted. And so, like, the notion of touring... I mean, look, we live in a day and age where people are putting out multiple specials. I remember Denis Leary did his, uh, No Cure for Cancer. There was no expectation that he would need to do another one.

Joe Rogan 14:53 Right. Well, Kinison, he had that one HBO special that was this really good one, and yeah, he had the Rodney Dangerfield spot that he did. And then, you know, he had a couple afterwards that they're kind of fucking. He was doing coke and partying-

Jim Gaffigan 15:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:06 ... and it really wasn't the same. He had that one special, that one special-

Jim Gaffigan 15:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:09 ... Sam Kinison. If you wanna see what Sam Kinison was like when he was really good, it's that one HBO special.

Jim Gaffigan 15:14 And there was... With the exception of Carlin, no one was doing the hourly thing.

Joe Rogan 15:21 He was the unusual exception. He was-

Jim Gaffigan 15:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:23 ... so unusual-

Jim Gaffigan 15:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:24 ... 'cause he was doing a new one every year. That's like-

Jim Gaffigan 15:26 I always think it's so funny how Carlin is so revered, but obv- obviously, all comedians, uh, respect him. But, like, during... When he was around, I don't think he got enough respect. You know what I mean? He, he was probably appreciated for the, you know, words you can't say on television, but, like, he was pumping out some really serious stuff.

Joe Rogan 15:52 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 15:52 And I think the audience didn't really like some of the shit he was saying.

Joe Rogan 15:56 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 15:56 Do you know what I mean? Like-

Joe Rogan 15:57 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 15:58 ... all these rich people in the audience. He's like, "We should turn all the golf courses and give them to homeless people," and people were like, "Wait a minute. We paid to get in here?"

Joe Rogan 16:05 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 16:05 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 16:06 Yeah. Well, he definitely had a lot of counterculture in him, you know? A lot of rabble-rouser, and he... No. Like, he has some great bits to this day that... about diseases that people-

Jim Gaffigan 16:18 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:18 ... keep reposting, you know?

Jim Gaffigan 16:20 Yeah. Oh, it's just... It's... There's not a week on Twitter where he doesn't have some-

Joe Rogan 16:25 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 16:25 ... uh, you know, clip that really kinda captures the moment.

Joe Rogan 16:29 Well, how many specials did he have? Let's just guess. 15?

Jim Gaffigan 16:32 I think he had 20.

Joe Rogan 16:34 20? Probably.

Jim Gaffigan 16:35 I think he did one for every year at the peak of HBO. When HBO... To get a special on HBO, he was... Uh, it was a standard... 'Cause... A- and I remember, I saw in an interview, maybe this is... Uh, that, you know, he tried the sitcom thing, and they... it didn't work, so he stuck with stand-up. I don't know what the... There's, there's Carlin experts that will probably... Uh, could explain it a lot better than me.

Joe Rogan 17:04 Well, he, he had some really good interviews, and God, I wish I... he was alive while I was doing the podcast where I could've interviewed him and talked to him. Maybe he was in the beginning. What year did he die?

Jim Gaffigan 17:15 Um, everything's a blur now.

Joe Rogan 17:19 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 17:19 Everything was six years ago or four years ago.

Joe Rogan 17:22 I wanna say... I wanna say he died in, like, '11? 2011?

Narrator 17:25 2008.

Joe Rogan 17:25 2008.

Jim Gaffigan 17:26 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:26 So, it was actually before the podcast, so... But if I had, uh, the opportunity to talk to him, I would've definitely talked to him about his creative process, but there's some pretty good interviews where he talked about that.

Jim Gaffigan 17:36 Oh, yeah. No, I remember... I'm trying to just turn off my phone 'cause I'm an idiot and I didn't turn it off before.

Joe Rogan 17:42 Look

Joe Rogan 17:43 at all these specials.

Jim Gaffigan 17:44 Yeah. That's-

Joe Rogan 17:45 And he-

Jim Gaffigan 17:45 ... unbelievable.

Joe Rogan 17:46 ... too. So he went... He had, he had some gaps, right? Like, look at that. '63 and then '67 and then '72 and then another one in '72. God, he had two in '72, and then one in '73, one in '74, '75, '77, '81, '84. So, what is the total number?

Narrator 18:03 This... So, for this, uh, discography from Maine, I guess, whatever Maine means, is, uh, 20, including that 2016 one.

Joe Rogan 18:12 So, the 2016 one-

Narrator 18:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:13 ... I Kinda Like It When a Lot of People Die, was supposed to be out on 2001, around September 11th, but it was literally scheduled to come out right after-

Narrator 18:25 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 18:25 ... September 11th, and the name of it, I Kinda Like It When a Lot of People Die (laughs) -

Narrator 18:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:30 ... that's fucking obviously a bit of an issue.

Jim Gaffigan 18:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:34 But so many-

Jim Gaffigan 18:36 HBO specials.

Narrator 18:36 I don't know.

Jim Gaffigan 18:37 Look at that.

Narrator 18:37 If it was separate from that too?

Jim Gaffigan 18:38 Oh, I always thought it was every year.... that's so interesting. I thought it was every year.

Joe Rogan 18:43 I felt like it was too.

Jim Gaffigan 18:45 First 12 specials.

Joe Rogan 18:47 Huh. So those are HBO specials. And what are the o- other ones? Are those albums? Wh-

Narrator 18:50 That's... Yeah, I guess that'd be audio albums maybe, 'cause there's also television and film appearances in there.

Joe Rogan 18:55 Scroll down. Scroll down. Where you just had up tel- where it said tel- scroll down. So, like, what is that? Television.

Narrator 19:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:02 Oh, okay. Th- so these are different... Okay, and scroll down a little further. So these are all spots on television shows. And then scroll down a little further. And these are the HBO specials.

Jim Gaffigan 19:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:14 And then written works and audiobooks. Wow. A lot, a lot.

Jim Gaffigan 19:19 Yeah. I know that he went through a period he dealt with, um... I mean, uh, you probably have interviewed Kelly Carlin probably.

Joe Rogan 19:26 I haven't.

Jim Gaffigan 19:27 Um-

Joe Rogan 19:27 I've, I've spoken to her on Twitter.

Jim Gaffigan 19:28 I, I don't, I don't know her at all. But, like, I know that he struggled with some addiction-

Joe Rogan 19:33 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 19:33 ... and stuff like that, but-

Joe Rogan 19:35 He had a pill issue for a while.

Jim Gaffigan 19:36 Really?

Joe Rogan 19:36 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 19:37 I remember I was... I was probably 93. I just started standup. And he went on at the original Improv on 44th Street. And I remember he had a tape player, and he had a piece of paper where he l- you know, like a cassette recorder, and he had these notes, and he had punchlines underlined.

Joe Rogan 20:03 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 20:04 I mean, granted, this is 30 years ago, so maybe I'm remembering some of it wrong. But I remember thinking, "God, that is just..." The detailing was so impressive that... And you can see it in his writing.

Joe Rogan 20:20 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 20:20 I mean, the, the, the wordsmith, uh, is just so extensive.

Joe Rogan 20:26 Yeah, he would write out his entire special word for word.

Jim Gaffigan 20:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:30 And then he would just kind of tighten it up.

Jim Gaffigan 20:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:32 That was how he did it. And he would write sober, and then he would punch up on marijuana.

Jim Gaffigan 20:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:38 He would smoke pot and punch it up.

Jim Gaffigan 20:40 Wow.

Joe Rogan 20:40 Yeah, that was his move.

Jim Gaffigan 20:42 Brilliant.

Joe Rogan 20:42 I saw him bomb-

Jim Gaffigan 20:44 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:44 ... in front of my roommates in-

Jim Gaffigan 20:46 Really?

Joe Rogan 20:46 ... uh, in New Hampshire in 1988, 1989. Yeah. I think he went through a rough patch a couple of times in his career.

Jim Gaffigan 20:55 I think with new material, y- you know, it's like American standups versus, like, British standups, there is... You know, there's such a necessity to kill in America.

Joe Rogan 21:08 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 21:08 Like, you can't be bad for a moment. That's why I was so impressed when I saw Chris Rock once at The Comedy Store just fearlessly, like, "What else? What else?" And he didn't get laughs for, like, 10 minutes, and then he's like, "Okay." And then he got off stage completely unfazed. Like, I would be like, "Get- get me... Get me heroin, something." (laughs) And, uh...

Joe Rogan 21:30 (laughs) Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 21:31 But the whole thing of, uh, Carlin, uh, just the volume was insane. And also, you have to, you have to... You have to risk bombing.

Joe Rogan 21:46 Yeah. He didn't work out either. Like, he didn't go to comedy clubs and, and practice. That was actually part of one of his routine. He had this-

Jim Gaffigan 21:54 Really?

Joe Rogan 21:54 ... routine called, uh, And Fuck This. And it was like everything was "fuck this" and "fuck that" and "fuck comedy clubs." He, like... He literally said, "Fuck comedy clubs." Like, "I'm, I'm, I don't have to work out at comedy clubs." And he would just go... And when I saw him in New Hampshire, he went on stage with a legal pad, a yellow legal pad, and he had all his stuff written out, and he put it down. And my roommate was like, "Why is he reading his jokes?" And I was like, "'Cause they're, they're new jokes, you fuck."

Jim Gaffigan 22:19 And I think there is... It's weird because... Do you ever have, like, younger kids at your shows?

Joe Rogan 22:26 No.

Jim Gaffigan 22:26 Na-... You don't have, like, a 15-year-old boy?

Joe Rogan 22:28 N-... That's not legal.

Jim Gaffigan 22:30 Okay. Wha- what do you mean not legal?

Joe Rogan 22:31 It actually might be legal here. In Texas, a lot of shit is legal. I just found out in Texas you can bring a child to a bar, and as long as the dad is with the child or the mom is with the child, the child can have their first drink.

Jim Gaffigan 22:43 Really?

Joe Rogan 22:44 Yeah, at a bar. Like, a kid. Like, you bring, like, a 11-year-old.

Jim Gaffigan 22:46 Yeah, I mean, in Ireland there's kids in all the bars and stuff.

Joe Rogan 22:49 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:49 And also when we were kids, it was like-

Joe Rogan 22:51 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:52 It was, like, not that big of a deal.

Joe Rogan 22:54 Oh, no, I, I went to my father's bar when I was, like, five years old.

Jim Gaffigan 22:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:58 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:58 And so, uh... I can't even remember. What's in this that you gave me?

Joe Rogan 23:02 Whiskey.

Jim Gaffigan 23:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:03 Scotch.

Jim Gaffigan 23:04 It's like-

Joe Rogan 23:05 It's good.

Jim Gaffigan 23:05 ... what we do is we just... We have these bottles of scotch, and what we do is we just-

Joe Rogan 23:12 We start talking shit.

Jim Gaffigan 23:12 ... lace them with heroin. And then comedians-

Joe Rogan 23:15 And watch.

Jim Gaffigan 23:16 ... come in, and we'll just give them just, like, a sip of it, and they'll-

Joe Rogan 23:19 And watch.

Jim Gaffigan 23:19 ... just freak out.

Joe Rogan 23:20 How long did you take off during the pandemic before you... Wi- like, with no standup at all?

Jim Gaffigan 23:26 I did some drive-in shows.

Joe Rogan 23:29 Those were wild.

Jim Gaffigan 23:30 I mean, I...

Joe Rogan 23:31 Did you do them with Bert? (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 23:32 No, I... You know, it's like... It was... It, it was kind of like dry humping. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 23:39 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 23:39 It's just... And I'm not... It's like... That's a throwback from when we were teenagers, right?

Joe Rogan 23:45 It's a good way to put it, though.

Jim Gaffigan 23:46 But, uh, it was... Yeah, I did a couple of them, and I was grateful for them, and I'm sure the audience hopefully had a good time. But it wasn't standup.

Joe Rogan 23:56 It's a little something to, like, r- remind people what it used to be like to go out and to see a show, but you're in your car.

Jim Gaffigan 24:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:03 You don't have to worry about catching anything and...

Jim Gaffigan 24:06 And so... But to answer your question, I went a good year and a half.

Joe Rogan 24:13 Wow.

Jim Gaffigan 24:14 A year and a half. Yeah, I mean, I was supposed to do Chappelle, one of Chappelle's weekends. Everyone got COVID, so I couldn't do that. And then I was in Vancouver for four months working on a movie, so I went a year and a half. And I was doing these CBS Sunday commentaries for the first 22 weeks, and... But I, I didn't really write standup. So, like... Uh, 'cause my thought was, "No one's gonna want to hear about this pandemic, so I'm not gonna write about the pandemic outside of these Sun- CBS Sunday commentaries." So then when I started writing...... it's like you, you know, we don't have control of what comes out. I had some of this pandemic stuff that ended up in Comedy Monster, but I didn't have an expectation of doing material on the pandemic.

Jim Gaffigan 25:06 Did you?

Joe Rogan 25:06 No. I mean, I think I never have a expectation about doing material on anything.

Jim Gaffigan 25:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:11 It's just, like, if there's a bit I enjoy doing that seems to be working and makes sense, then I just start doing it. But if I had no material on the pandemic, I'd be happy with that.

Jim Gaffigan 25:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:21 I, my God, I fucking talked about it so much. I mean-

Jim Gaffigan 25:23 Of course.

Joe Rogan 25:24 ... I'm so exhausted talking-

Jim Gaffigan 25:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:26 ... about COVID.

Jim Gaffigan 25:27 Yeah. No, it's, I, I miscalculated. I thought that it was gonna be similar to politics, where we consume all this politics all the time, that when people get into a comedy room or a theater, they're not gonna wanna hear about it.

Joe Rogan 25:43 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 25:43 But I think that the pandemic has been so truly traumatic, not just the pandemic, the whole experience-

Joe Rogan 25:51 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 25:52 ... that we're gonna be digesting this for quite

Jim Gaffigan 25:55 some time.

Joe Rogan 25:55 Oh, yeah. And there's gonna be a lot of anger. There's gonna be a lot of anger at a lot of the businesses that went under.

Jim Gaffigan 26:02 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:02 There's gonna be a lot of anger at the politicians and how they handled it, and medical professionals, and whether or not early treatment options were pursued correctly. There's gonna be a lot of anger. And it's, but there's also a lot of opportunity for humor.

Jim Gaffigan 26:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:15 And there, people love that escape. They love-

Jim Gaffigan 26:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:18 ... the ability, like, if you crack a good one about COVID, they have this ability to let off some steam, you know?

Jim Gaffigan 26:23 Well, I also think there's a lot of, you know, particularly through the pandemic, and it's just generally kind of my approach, I think, is that humans are pretty dumb.

Joe Rogan 26:36 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 26:36 Like, we're generally, not only are we dumb, we think we're smart.

Joe Rogan 26:43 Yeah, there's a lot of that.

Jim Gaffigan 26:44 That's, that's the worst part.

Joe Rogan 26:45 That's the saddest thing ever when a really dumb person thinks they're brilliant.

Jim Gaffigan 26:49 Right?

Joe Rogan 26:50 It's not the saddest thing ever.

Jim Gaffigan 26:51 But then again-

Joe Rogan 26:51 It's the saddest thing ever when a child dies, right? That's the saddest thing.

Jim Gaffigan 26:53 Yeah, I mean, it's, it's like everyone, you know, everyone kind of looks at their parents like, "Those idiots."

Joe Rogan 26:59 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 26:59 And our kids are like, "Those idiots."

Joe Rogan 27:02 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 27:02 It's just-

Joe Rogan 27:03 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 27:03 ... this generation after generation. You know, like, when they were putting leeches on people, the medical community was like, "We did it. We figured it out. We put these bloodsuckers on people and we got it. Anyway, let's have some drinks."

Jim Gaffigan 27:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:17 Well, they would bleed you out, too. They would-

Jim Gaffigan 27:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:19 ... not just use leeches, they would cut you and, uh, and leak your blood into a bucket to try to remove toxins from your system.

Jim Gaffigan 27:26 It's so weird, like, the shock therapy stuff, how, like, that disappears-

Joe Rogan 27:30 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 27:31 ... in our lifetime, where they were like, "Can you believe they did shock therapies?" And now you'll read an article, they're like, "You know, they think shock therapy might work." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:40 (laughs) It might.

Jim Gaffigan 27:42 Humans are

Jim Gaffigan 27:43 so stupid.

Joe Rogan 27:44 Well, it's, it might not work on everybody, but it might work on some people. Do you remember, there was, um, when Ed Muskie... No. Who was it? William Montgomery, William McGovern. When William McGovern was, uh, running for president, his vice president, uh, it turned out in the middle-

Jim Gaffigan 28:04 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 28:05 ... of the race against Nixon that he had undergone shock therapy.

Jim Gaffigan 28:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:08 And, like, everybody's like, "Oh, Jesus." They decided that he was a kook, and so his vice president pick fucked him, and he really had... Because Hunter S. Thompson was on his side-

Jim Gaffigan 28:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:19 ... and he was writing about him, and he had kind of gathered up some momentum, and it looked like he had a real shot to beat Nixon. And then once his presidential, vice presidential candidate guy started, turned, you know, turned out to be a kook.

Jim Gaffigan 28:33 It's all, it's the timing of everything.

Joe Rogan 28:36 Yep.

Jim Gaffigan 28:36 Right?

Joe Rogan 28:36 It's timing of everything, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 28:37 Timing is, is the big

Jim Gaffigan 28:41 issue.

Joe Rogan 28:41 Well, especially when there's something... That's, that's why it's so crazy about presidential candidates. You know, we were talking about elections overseas, about in other countries, they do a, a very quick election. There's not as much money in it.

Jim Gaffigan 28:52 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:52 It's only a six-week thing where everything's run... We, we, we, our elections essentially run for two years. So, like, from 2022-

Jim Gaffigan 29:00 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:00 ... on, there'll be a two-year process of people posturing and moving their pieces into play and-

Jim Gaffigan 29:06 And saying they're not running.

Joe Rogan 29:07 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 29:08 But, hey, I can't say officially.

Joe Rogan 29:10 I can't say officially, but-

Jim Gaffigan 29:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:11 ... if I was gonna run, I would attack this administration on the-

Jim Gaffigan 29:15 Yes.

Joe Rogan 29:15 ... terrible treatment of blah, blah, blah, and this and that, and the border crisis. Hoo.

Jim Gaffigan 29:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:20 And what have they done to the infrastructure? Oh.

Jim Gaffigan 29:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:24 And no one fixes shit. That's what's crazy. Think about all the things Biden promised before he got into office, and there's people that are actually shocked that he didn't do everything he said he was gonna do. People are like, "I can't believe this, and I voted for him." How many fucking times does Lucy have to pull the ball from Charlie Brown before Charlie Brown realizes-

Jim Gaffigan 29:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:43 ... this is bullshit?

Jim Gaffigan 29:43 Well, I would still take, I would take Biden's corpse over Trump.

Joe Rogan 29:47 Well, it's not really Biden, right? It's the, the cabinet. It's the people that are running the, the, the, the whole administration. That's what's going on now. It's not Biden. It's all the other folks that are moving things into place.

Jim Gaffigan 29:59 But, like, I mean, I, I still look at, like, you know, along the same lines of what you just said. So, like, Betsy DeVos.

Joe Rogan 30:12 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 30:13 Um, Stephen Miller. You take all those people over. Uh, you know, even Mike Pence. You take, you take him over. Say what you want about Kamala or Kamala or whatever.

Joe Rogan 30:25 Kamala?

Jim Gaffigan 30:26 (laughs) You, you know, it's like, any of those people. And I know I'll probably get murdered by some Trumpy, but, like, it's

Jim Gaffigan 30:34 like...

Joe Rogan 30:35 I don't think she's the best example. I think Kamala Harris has a storied history of incarcerating people, and, uh, keeping people in jail past the time they were supposed to be released to use them as cheap labor for the state of California to fight wildfires.

Jim Gaffigan 30:49 Mike Pence believed in, like, you could, uh, do therapy to get rid of gay.

Joe Rogan 30:54 Wait a minute. You don't?

Jim Gaffigan 30:56 ... what?

Joe Rogan 30:57 But what did we do earlier? All that, that hugging and everything. I thought that's-

Jim Gaffigan 31:00 But-

Joe Rogan 31:00 ... that was about.

Jim Gaffigan 31:01 That was ... we hugged out my love for you.

Joe Rogan 31:06 (laughs) That is a crazy thing to think you could pray gay away.

Jim Gaffigan 31:08 It's so weird to feel your butt implants. Like, why-

Joe Rogan 31:11 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 31:12 ... would you get butt implants?

Joe Rogan 31:14 I didn't like my flat butt.

Jim Gaffigan 31:16 You know, but, like, you're-

Joe Rogan 31:17 I wanted a, a high art, like a-

Jim Gaffigan 31:18 But that was cultural appropriation.

Joe Rogan 31:20 No, no, no, no, no.

Jim Gaffigan 31:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:22 No, no, no. There's some people from my culture that have that. It's just I'm lazy and I don't wanna do squats.

Jim Gaffigan 31:26 How long do you think we got?

Joe Rogan 31:27 What do you think? I worry-

Jim Gaffigan 31:28 We got 10 years?

Joe Rogan 31:29 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 31:29 You think we got 10 years?

Joe Rogan 31:29 I worry we have about 10 years, and I think the decline between what happens now-

Jim Gaffigan 31:33 I'm too old to learn Chinese.

Joe Rogan 31:35 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 31:35 I can't. I'm not gonna learn Mandarin.

Joe Rogan 31:37 That's the problem. We might have to.

Jim Gaffigan 31:37 My kids are ... my, my sons are learning Mandarin.

Joe Rogan 31:39 Thankfully, there's apps.

Jim Gaffigan 31:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:42 Yeah. Like, they had a thing with Google. Um, they have these, uh, things. I think it's ... is it with the Galaxy Buds? One of, one of the Android phones has the ability to translate in real time with sound. So, like, say if you said something in Chinese-

Jim Gaffigan 32:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:03 ... the phone would say it back to me in my ear in English.

Jim Gaffigan 32:08 But that's where ... isn't that, uh, the basis of why so many wars have started, is miscommunication?

Joe Rogan 32:16 Oh, f- ... well, also being led by people that pretend they have your best interest at heart. Look, in the real world, if there was no government, why would-

Jim Gaffigan 32:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:24 ... anybody fight with the Chinese or the Serbians or the Russians? Like, we wouldn't. We'd have no problem with them. They're over there, we're over here. Huh, it's fine. The problem is when enormous groups of people are led by a small, tight-knit group of individuals who are influenced almost entirely by money.

Jim Gaffigan 32:41 And so, you think it's all money?

Joe Rogan 32:44 And that's what starts war. 100%.

Jim Gaffigan 32:45 You think-

Joe Rogan 32:45 Money and natural resources.

Jim Gaffigan 32:45 Do you ... let me answer this. Do you think that the entertainment industry is about money?

Joe Rogan 32:49 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 32:50 I disagree.

Joe Rogan 32:51 What's it about? Love? Joy?

Jim Gaffigan 32:52 No. It's about ego.

Joe Rogan 32:55 Well, that too.

Jim Gaffigan 32:55 And I think ... I think, I think whenever people are like, "Oh, the entertainment industry is ab- uh, about money," I'm like, "Really?" 'Cause, you know, Mel Gibson did Passion of the Christ. They ... you could do, like, five of those and make a lot of money. It's not about that. And I think that politicians is, uh ... here, by the way, I'm destroying my career on this episode.

Joe Rogan 33:18 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 33:19 Um, but it's about status. It's about ... everyone wants to be in the restaurant and be, uh, greeted with, uh, warmth.

Joe Rogan 33:30 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 33:30 Whether it's a restaurant or country club. It's like-

Joe Rogan 33:32 That's true.

Jim Gaffigan 33:33 And every now and then, someone does something, like Mitch McConnell. You know, he, he, he's gonna go out to dinner in Kentucky, and he's gonna be harassed by a Trump supporter.

Joe Rogan 33:46 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 33:46 And he's like, "Ugh." He doesn't-

Joe Rogan 33:48 Well, he gets harassed by Democrats.

Jim Gaffigan 33:50 Yeah. No, well, he gets h- ... but the thing is, is, like, all these people wanna be respected at their country club. They don't care about ... the money is not the issue.

Joe Rogan 34:00 You don't think that the money is the primary motivating factor for them making movies?

Jim Gaffigan 34:06 I don't think so. I think it's, uh, why ... you know, it's like, they want awards, they want accolades, they want respect of their ... by the way, comedian to comedian, I don't even have to ask you this. Comedians care about the, uh, respect of their peers.

Joe Rogan 34:23 That's a big factor.

Jim Gaffigan 34:25 And that is way more important than money.

Joe Rogan 34:28 Yeah. That, oh, that's an enormous factor.

Jim Gaffigan 34:30 That's way more important than a credit.

Joe Rogan 34:32 Well, y- here's the thing. Like, there are some people that do really well, and they don't have the respect of their peers, and they always seem to be living in hell.

Jim Gaffigan 34:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:41 Right?

Jim Gaffigan 34:41 Or they're chasing it.

Joe Rogan 34:42 Yeah. They don't have friends. Like, when they're ... there is a few people I know that are comics that are fairly successful that have zero comic friends, and that they are the most miserable, weird, fucking bitter, stingy people. They're just fucked, 'cause they-

Jim Gaffigan 34:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:57 ... they're out- they're on the outside. I call them islands. I always refer to them, like with other comics, like, there's certain comics that are like an island. Like-

Jim Gaffigan 35:04 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:04 ... they're not in a community like most of us are. We're completely-

Jim Gaffigan 35:07 Well, I think there's something about, um, the, the ambition. It's like, if ambition takes over, if you care about ambition more than community, that's a problem.

Joe Rogan 35:20 It's a problem.

Jim Gaffigan 35:21 It's a big problem.

Joe Rogan 35:22 Well, it's like, there's not many of us, Jim. I mean, how many comics are there, really, legitimately on Earth? Is there even a thousand? Are there even a thousand-

Jim Gaffigan 35:31 No.

Joe Rogan 35:31 ... working professional comedians that make a living and can headline clubs and theaters?

Jim Gaffigan 35:37 I think-

Joe Rogan 35:38 I, I don't even think it's a thousand.

Jim Gaffigan 35:39 I think it's really strange, and this is along the same lines. How people, um ... and, and, and the public perception is so off on this, is that what people don't realize is that comedians with completely different views on a lot of different things, stylistically, dramatically different, um, in the green room, they're a hu- you know, they're, they're all getting along.

Joe Rogan 36:06 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 36:07 Like, there is obviously some people that don't get along, and there's people that go astray, and, uh, you know, they can get a- become outcasts because they steal material or whatever. But I think this notion that comedians wish ill upon each other is so false.

Joe Rogan 36:26 It's very false.

Jim Gaffigan 36:27 And it's-

Joe Rogan 36:27 Especially good ones.

Jim Gaffigan 36:28 It's so weird, because the reality is, is that comedians are these weird, kinda misfits in a way that when another comedian does something, even if they don't like it, they, uh, they're, like, on the same stage.

Joe Rogan 36:44 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 36:45 It's weird.

Joe Rogan 36:45 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 36:46 Whereas, I think in other aspects of the entertainment industry, it isn't the case. Like, I, I presented ... I don't wanna brag, but I presented at the Country Music Awards.

Joe Rogan 36:56 Ooh.

Jim Gaffigan 36:57 Uh, no. And what was so interesting is I don't ... I know, I know very little about country music, but-... the sense of community there was sincere.

Joe Rogan 37:07 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 37:08 Like it was an award show, and they opened the show with these 10 stars, you know, from Brandi Carlile to Dolly Parton to like, you know, uh, that's probably all the country music. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:23 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 37:24 But they all... There wasn't the hierarchy.

Joe Rogan 37:28 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 37:28 And what people don't realize, I think, with comedians is that, yeah, there, there's some hierarchy, but that disappears pretty quick.

Joe Rogan 37:36 It disappears

Joe Rogan 37:37 with, when someone kills.

Jim Gaffigan 37:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:39 If someone's a killer, like y- th- like, they, uh, immediately get brought into the fold.

Jim Gaffigan 37:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:44 If you see y- someone and they do a 20-minute set and they fucking murder, you're like, "God," you wanna grab him, "Dude."

Jim Gaffigan 37:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:49 "That was fucking awesome."

Jim Gaffigan 37:50 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:51 We're ha- well, 'cause we're happy that someone else made it through. There's-

Jim Gaffigan 37:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:54 Uh, uh, again, we're talking about how many people there are. There are working professional comedians. How many headliners are there in the United States of America? Real headliners.

Jim Gaffigan 38:03 I-

Joe Rogan 38:03 Is there 500? I don't even think there's 500.

Jim Gaffigan 38:06 But I even think, like, some of it is not necessarily even the headliners. It's like-

Joe Rogan 38:11 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 38:11 ... there's different kind of, um... There's different tools that people have. That's why it's so weird. And I love acting, but, like, when I work on a movie and you get a call sheet and there's, like, f- c- these... And some of it is for organizational purposes, but you literally see this hierarchy played out.

Joe Rogan 38:33 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 38:33 And you're like, "Oh, wow, that's strange." And, and, uh, whenever I work on a movie, my manager's like, "Don't expect actors to be comedians," because you work with a comedian for three days and you're... The status is evened out.

Joe Rogan 38:50 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 38:50 Do you know what I mean? It doesn't matter if someone's headlining or someone's middling, and that's not the case in the... You know, that's why I think people want awards, is because... So when you go into this hierarchy, you're like, "No, I can come in. I got this nomination."

Joe Rogan 39:09 I had a conversation with this... A friend of mine was dating an actress, and, uh, she was talking to me about, uh, NewsRadio, the sitcom I was on.

Jim Gaffigan 39:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:18 And she asked me what number I was billed on-

Jim Gaffigan 39:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:25 ... in the credits. So what that means to, to everybody else at home, there's eight people in the cast, and she wanted to know what, when they said my name-

Jim Gaffigan 39:34 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 39:34 ... like, when the opening credits-

Jim Gaffigan 39:35 She was an actor, right?

Joe Rogan 39:36 Oh, yeah, 100%.

Jim Gaffigan 39:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:38 And I was like, "Wow, that's fascinating." Like, "That's, uh, interesting." She goes, "Oh, just, you know, it... My, my agent says it's very important to get high billing."

Jim Gaffigan 39:45 Hmm. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:47 Like, where y- where they list you, like, Let..." NewsRadio with Dave Foley."

Jim Gaffigan 39:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:52 "Andi Dick..." Like, all that. Like, when do, when do they say your name?

Jim Gaffigan 39:57 (laughs) Wow.

Joe Rogan 39:58 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 39:58 But I must, I must feel for her because she didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 40:04 No.

Jim Gaffigan 40:04 She was kinda programmed. It's-

Joe Rogan 40:05 Well, she was young and

Joe Rogan 40:07 she was trying to make-

Jim Gaffigan 40:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:08 ... it in the busine... I mean, it... She wasn't malicious. She was just... This was a concern.

Jim Gaffigan 40:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:13 Like, one day she wanted to be on a sitcom or a show, and she wanted to have a good billing.

Jim Gaffigan 40:18 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:19 So she just wanted to ask me what it was like.

Jim Gaffigan 40:22 Yeah. So weird.

Joe Rogan 40:24 It's so weird. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 40:26 That's so weird. That's-

Joe Rogan 40:27 You know when you know the-

Jim Gaffigan 40:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:27 ... comedians get along? When we meet each other in the airport.

Jim Gaffigan 40:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:31 When you meet someone in the airport, you're like, "Ah."

Jim Gaffigan 40:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:34 "Where you working? Where you been?" You know?

Jim Gaffigan 40:37 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:37 That's the number one time.

Jim Gaffigan 40:39 Yeah. There's certain things that, uh... Yeah. There's... You know, authenticity is a really important attribute.

Joe Rogan 40:48 Huge.

Jim Gaffigan 40:50 It's, it's really... So when the, the concept... I mean, we're talking about Carlin who essentially reinvented himself. You know what I mean? But, like, you're... You know, comedians are on this journey to find their more authentic selves.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 41:08 And it is... It's all s... You know, standup comedy is all self-assignment, you know? It's like Comedy Monster is my ninth special and... But no one's saying, "Hey, can you do another special?" It's like...

Joe Rogan 41:21 You decide when you're gonna do it.

Jim Gaffigan 41:22 It's all-

Joe Rogan 41:23 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 41:23 ... selfish. It's similar, um, y- you know, it's similar to what you've created. No one said, "Hey..." Like, people like to think, oh, there's someone back there saying, "Hey, Joe, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna move to Austin. You're gonna open a comedy club. You're gonna do this." There's no one doing that. It's you.

Joe Rogan 41:43 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 41:44 It's, it's

Jim Gaffigan 41:45 you.

Joe Rogan 41:45 Not only that, there's a lot of people telling me, "Don't do that."

Jim Gaffigan 41:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:49 (laughs) There's... All of people that... Like, when I got this big Spotify deal and I'm like, "I'm gonna move to Texas," they're like, "No."

Jim Gaffigan 41:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:55 "What are you doing? Don't fuck this up. Like, you have something great going on in Los Angeles." And I'm like, "It's gonna be fine. Uh, we gotta go. I gotta get outta here."

Jim Gaffigan 42:04 Wow.

Joe Rogan 42:05 I'm like, "I'm gonna live my life." Like, th- this is something I do during my life, but I'm gonna live my life. And my life, my instincts are, "I gotta get the fuck outta Dodge." I'm like, "This city is n- it's not the same city anymore." It's like it's got a mask on. It's the... It got the old LA mask, and behind it is danger, and corrupt government, and a, a, a l- a lack of accountability, about the economy collapsing. Like, "See ya, I'm getting the fuck outta here." So they were not happy with that. Like, there was a lot of people that were very nervous, the people that, you know, profit off of the show. But I was like, "I'm going. I'm, I'm gonna do what I do, and this is what..." My, my instincts are always just to do what I do. What do I wanna do? "I wanna get out of here, so I'm gonna get out of here." I'm... I would never stay just because, like, somebody else thought it would have b- be a better idea. I'm like, "Eh, I think we'll be fine."

Jim Gaffigan 42:55 Yeah. Yeah, it's really interesting that, um, no one... Even when you're told you're funny, to do standup-... you have to, you, not only do you have to get up there yourself, but you als-... Now it just sounds like I'm patting myself on the back.

Joe Rogan 43:11 No, but it's true.

Jim Gaffigan 43:12 It's like, you have to also, when the crowd more or less says, "I hate you."

Joe Rogan 43:20 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 43:21 You have to still do it.

Joe Rogan 43:23 Yeah, you have to fuck-... Well, they hated me, but one day-

Jim Gaffigan 43:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:27 ... you'll see it.

Jim Gaffigan 43:28 It's, it's a me-... It's a form of mental illness.

Joe Rogan 43:30 Oh,

Joe Rogan 43:31 100%. If you don't have mental illness, there's no way you're gonna make it, because you're gonna have to get past the bombing. The bombing should be enough pain to-

Jim Gaffigan 43:39 Stop any of it.

Joe Rogan 43:40 ... force anybody out of the business.

Jim Gaffigan 43:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:41 I always said that bombing is like sucking 1,000 dicks in front of your mother, but I think that's not true. Because there's gotta be a guy out there who would like to suck 1,000 dicks in front of his mom.

Jim Gaffigan 43:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:51 There's gotta be a guy out there who'd be like, "See this, Mom? 999. This one's for you."

Jim Gaffigan 43:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:55 "You fucking raised me wrong." But (laughs) ...

Jim Gaffigan 43:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:58 But no one wants to bomb, no one. No one wants to say jokes-

Jim Gaffigan 44:02 It's just-

Joe Rogan 44:02 ... that they hope get a laugh, and then they fall flat.

Jim Gaffigan 44:05 And by the way, the term bomb is a gentle description of public humiliation.

Joe Rogan 44:12 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 44:12 It is full, wholesale... It is, uh, y- you know, it occurs where there are people that look at you with a level of disgust. By the way, I was on a plane next to, um, Chris Christie, and I, uh... And it was interesting, because I was thinking about him. And people were getting on the plane, and, um, people were very polite. But I was like, "This guy..." So many politicians, ag- ag-... You know, and he's a fighter, but so many of these politicians, maybe they almost crave kind of, like, saying something that the audience doesn't like. Do you know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 44:59 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 44:59 So, you know how, like, the shock?

Joe Rogan 45:01 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 45:01 So, comedy, some of it is surprise and shock. But, like, I was sitting next to him, and I'm like, "He's a fighter." Most of these politicians, do they get off on the groan that the comedian sometimes gets?

Joe Rogan 45:16 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 45:16 You know, like, when you say something and the audience is like, "Oh," but you did it for yourself.

Joe Rogan 45:21 (laughs) Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 45:22 Do you know what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 45:22 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 45:23 And I obviously do it to a much lesser dis-, uh, extent than you filthy comics.

Joe Rogan 45:29 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 45:29 But does, does he... Do politicians get off on that?

Jim Gaffigan 45:34 'Cause-

Joe Rogan 45:34 I think it's probably a contrarian thing. It's probably a human nature thing. Like, people like saying things that other people don't wanna hear, especially if they can be proven right.

Jim Gaffigan 45:43 Wow. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:45 Well, that guy single-handedly made me not scared of COVID.

Jim Gaffigan 45:48 But he survived.

Joe Rogan 45:49 Oh, yeah. I'm like, "He survived?"

Jim Gaffigan 45:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:53 "I'm fucking fine." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 45:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:56 I'm like, "Dude-

Jim Gaffigan 45:57 But he also-

Joe Rogan 45:57 ... I'm gonna cruise right through this shit."

Jim Gaffigan 45:58 ... he also got all the good stuff, right?

Joe Rogan 46:00 Everybody should get all the good stuff, Jim.

Jim Gaffigan 46:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:02 That's what's going on. That's what's fucked up. They should-

Jim Gaffigan 46:03 Well, that's why you're running for governor of Florida.

Joe Rogan 46:06 Yeah. Well, DeSantis is doing a great job. I'm gonna run for, like, Arkansas, somewhere no one else votes. Somewhere easy.

Jim Gaffigan 46:13 But then you'd... Then you're moving to Arkansas.

Joe Rogan 46:16 That's what Bill Clinton did.

Jim Gaffigan 46:17 Well, but he was from there.

Joe Rogan 46:19 Barely.

Jim Gaffigan 46:20 Barely?

Joe Rogan 46:21 Was he?

Jim Gaffigan 46:22 Yeah, he was raised in Hope, Arkansas.

Joe Rogan 46:25 Really?

Jim Gaffigan 46:25 Yes.

Joe Rogan 46:26 That's a place?

Jim Gaffigan 46:27 Yes.

Joe Rogan 46:28 Who knows? No one lives there.

Jim Gaffigan 46:29 Yeah. No, the... Uh, Hucko-

Joe Rogan 46:29 Everybody who lives there can't write. They don't know.

Jim Gaffigan 46:30 ... Huckleberry or whatever the... Huckabee's also from there.

Joe Rogan 46:34 Huckabee. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 46:35 Huckabee. Now, Huckabee. You think Huckabee... I think he...

Joe Rogan 46:39 No.

Jim Gaffigan 46:40 I think he wanted to be in the entertainment industry.

Joe Rogan 46:42 Oh. Yeah, probably.

Jim Gaffigan 46:43 That's what I was getting at.

Joe Rogan 46:44 Well, what-

Jim Gaffigan 46:44 What'd you think I was gonna say?

Joe Rogan 46:45 That he should be president.

Jim Gaffigan 46:46 No. (laughs) No.

Joe Rogan 46:46 Wasn't he... He was on, like, Fox or something? Didn't he have a show for a while?

Jim Gaffigan 46:50 Yeah, he had a show on Fox.

Joe Rogan 46:51 Yeah. Did they cancel it?

Jim Gaffigan 46:52 Well, he was a preacher also.

Joe Rogan 46:54 Ah, well, that's show business.

Jim Gaffigan 46:55 Right?

Joe Rogan 46:56 That's Kinison, you know?

Jim Gaffigan 46:58 (smacks lips) And so... And, uh, Bill Hicks also.

Joe Rogan 47:00 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 47:00 Right? You know?

Joe Rogan 47:01 No, I don't think he was a preacher.

Jim Gaffigan 47:02 No, but, like, I think that there was the, uh, the, you know, he was raised in, uh, the, some of that Christian stuff.

Joe Rogan 47:08 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 47:08 Wasn't he?

Joe Rogan 47:08 Yeah, he was definitely raised in it.

Jim Gaffigan 47:09 I say that like I'm not Christian.

Joe Rogan 47:11 Well, you're a Catholic, right?

Jim Gaffigan 47:12 I'm a Catholic, which is, you know...

Joe Rogan 47:14 Hardcore.

Jim Gaffigan 47:15 That's part, that's part of the Christian faith.

Joe Rogan 47:17 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 47:17 What were you raised as well?

Joe Rogan 47:18 Catholic.

Jim Gaffigan 47:19 You were raised Catholic?

Joe Rogan 47:20 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 47:20 And now you're going to hell.

Joe Rogan 47:22 No, no, no.

Jim Gaffigan 47:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:23 I'm going to the dimension of elves.

Jim Gaffigan 47:26 So, are you agnostic?

Joe Rogan 47:28 Um, yeah. You know, I would say that, but it's, it all

Joe Rogan 47:32 comes with too much baggage. I don't like the term atheist. I-

Jim Gaffigan 47:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:35 It's like to me being an atheist is, um... I know it means without a god. You don't believe in, you know... You're not a theist, right? But I think it's, uh... It's very arrogant to pretend we have any idea what happens when we die.

Jim Gaffigan 47:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:51 And do I believe that there was a man who walked on water and died and came back to life, and... No. But I- I- I think that-

Jim Gaffigan 47:59 That's very antisemitic of you.

Joe Rogan 48:00 Most of what-

Jim Gaffigan 48:01 I'm joking.

Joe Rogan 48:01 This is... This is... Most of what that is, if you understand human language and you understand history, is, you know, you're dealing with stories that were thousands of years old before they were ever written down.

Jim Gaffigan 48:13 Yeah. And they're in a lot of different cultures, too.

Joe Rogan 48:15 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 48:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:16 Yes. Well, Epic of Gilgamesh is, like, the oldest version of the Bible. In terms of, like, the stories of Noah's Ark, it's kind of... It's got roots in there. There's a lot of... There's a lot of, like, parallels that makes you think. And I'm, and I'm a firm believer that a lot of what that is, is documenting cataclysmic disasters that happened to the human race. And those have been substantiated by archeologists and by people that are geologists that study core samples. And there's been some epic moments where most people were wiped out, and they survived. And a lot of these stories, I think, are the basis of a lot of the roots of these stories that are in the Bible and the Torah and the... A lot, a lot of ancient religions. But as... The idea of, like, is there a God? It very... There very well could be something. Very well. And I'm, I'm not-

Jim Gaffigan 49:08 Why... You should have him as a guest on your show.

Joe Rogan 49:10 I would love to.

Jim Gaffigan 49:11 Right?

Joe Rogan 49:12 Um...

Jim Gaffigan 49:13 ... uh, why do we assume it's a he?

Joe Rogan 49:15 Y- I don't think it has a gender, right?

Jim Gaffigan 49:17 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:18 It's probably something, it's probably something that is the energy that creates the entire universe itself. There's probably a thing, whatever that thing is. And I think to try to label it and try to box it in with our pathetic language is pretty silly.

Jim Gaffigan 49:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 49:38 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 49:38 Our understanding.

Joe Rogan 49:40 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 49:40 It's, it's very s- interesting because obviously, um, I'm not in a 12-step program, but that is a faith-based thing.

Joe Rogan 49:50 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 49:50 And, and I do think that, um, the notion for me personally that, um, there is something up that is I'm not in control is really important. So that, and that possibly there is a notion of something that can forgive me or that I should not, uh, be caught up in this twist of self-hatred is really important to me. And so-

Joe Rogan 50:21 And so that is how you balance your ego, and y- you feel like that helps you?

Jim Gaffigan 50:25 Yeah, I mean, it's ... I mean, that all being said is that all these things I'm saying I, I will forget in a day.

Joe Rogan 50:33 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 50:33 And s- do you know what I mean? It's like-

Joe Rogan 50:34 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 50:35 ... I, I ... In the end, I'm a dumb guy.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 50:37 I mean, we're all dumb guys, right?

Joe Rogan 50:39 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 50:39 But, um, yeah. I mean, and I think that that's why it's so impressive what you've built and you have not self-destructed. There's no indication of self-destruction. There's, uh ... I mean, it's n- it's, it's ... You're not the first person. I mean, the Rock has built an incredible thing. I wanna see you fight the Rock.

Joe Rogan 51:01 I'm not fighting that guy.

Jim Gaffigan 51:02 I want you to fight him.

Joe Rogan 51:03 He's like 100 pounds larger than me.

Jim Gaffigan 51:05 Or kiss him. Can you kiss him? Can you k-

Joe Rogan 51:06 (laughs) I'll kiss him before I'd fight him.

Jim Gaffigan 51:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:08 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 51:09 But there ... I, I do think it's fascinating because, uh, among comedians, there is this self-destructive thing.

Joe Rogan 51:15 Tendency. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 51:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:17 Well,

Joe Rogan 51:18 um, it's not i- i- it's not mandatory. You know, it's not something that's unavoidable. You can avoid it. It's ... You know, the idea that it's, uh, self-destruction is inheritive. It, it, it's in, um ... It's inherent to whether it's rock and roll or art or comedy or even actors.

Jim Gaffigan 51:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:40 I just think we just ... It's so hard to not be. It's very ... I mean, with rock stars, my God. I mean, how many rock stars have self-destructed?

Jim Gaffigan 51:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:48 They're on that stage, jammin' out, and everybody's screaming they love 'em, and then silence, then they're alone.

Jim Gaffigan 51:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:54 And then they wanna be surrounded by people that keep feeding them that love.

Jim Gaffigan 51:56 And then they go to a bar and they meet Lady Gaga, and then-

Joe Rogan 51:59 Oh, that movie?

Jim Gaffigan 52:00 I didn't see it. I saw the first five minutes.

Joe Rogan 52:03 I didn't see it either. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 52:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:04 Yeah, it's, uh, it's a crazy world. It's, it's ... And it's also ... One of the things about being, uh, a comic or any entertainer that becomes very successful is there's not much of a blueprint for you to follow.

Jim Gaffigan 52:17 No. And the blueprint changes. So when people ask for advice, you're like, "You know, what worked six months ago is not gonna work."

Joe Rogan 52:25 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 52:25 So even your relocation to Austin to this address, uh, which I'm gonna announce. No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:33 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 52:34 Is, is ... That doesn't apply to now.

Joe Rogan 52:38 No.

Jim Gaffigan 52:39 You know, the, uh, the, uh ... You know, like I remember in stand-up, starting, you know, like what I did, like when I did open mics, there were no, there was no audience. There weren't even bringer shows really.

Joe Rogan 52:53 Right, right.

Jim Gaffigan 52:53 It was like you were performing in front of other mentally ill people.

Joe Rogan 52:57 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 52:58 (laughs) It was like-

Joe Rogan 52:59 There'd be a few audience members, like 10.

Jim Gaffigan 53:01 You know, maybe s-

Joe Rogan 53:02 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:02 ... an alcoholic who was drinking-

Joe Rogan 53:04 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:04 ... at 5:00 PM.

Joe Rogan 53:05 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:05 But, uh ... And you know, like, the Boston scene that you started in doesn't exist like that.

Joe Rogan 53:11 It doesn't exist like that, but I've heard it's made a comeback. I've heard there's a good scene there. I've been-

Jim Gaffigan 53:14 Well, it's a new iteration of it, but, um-

Joe Rogan 53:17 Yes. No, it doesn't exist like it did then.

Jim Gaffigan 53:19 ... I mean that, that Boston, uh, uh, you know, that was legendary.

Joe Rogan 53:22 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:23 Right?

Joe Rogan 53:23 It was, it was very, very unique. It was very unique in that there were so many world-class comics that all lived in one place with headline in these areas, like, every week, and it's so unusual.

Jim Gaffigan 53:36 Yeah, and they make tons of money.

Joe Rogan 53:38 And do it all in coke. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 53:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:41 That's the only place I've ever been offered to be paid in coke.

Jim Gaffigan 53:44 Wow.

Joe Rogan 53:45 They would of- they would y- "Do you want cash or coke or a little bit of both?" I'm like, "You just give me the money, man." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 53:50 Wow. Wow.

Joe Rogan 53:53 Yeah. That was

Joe Rogan 53:54 Nick's Comedy Stop. There's some places that were, I mean, allegedly, I don't know for sure, I can't, I could never say this in court, fully run by the mob and, you know, they, they had these wild ties to organized crime when they were running comedy clubs. And I'm sure they're moving money around and stuff.

Jim Gaffigan 54:13 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 54:14 But it was awesome. The people that were there, the, the comedians, they were so talented. They were so good. And they never changed their material ever.

Jim Gaffigan 54:22 Right. They didn't need to.

Joe Rogan 54:23 No. They, they didn't do any specials. None of those guys did specials. And all those guys had an hour that would fucking shake the foundation of the building.

Jim Gaffigan 54:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:33 Like Don Gavin, Steve Sweeny, and Kevin Knox, and you know, there were so many of those guys.

Jim Gaffigan 54:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:40 Mike Donovan. They were monsters. They were monsters. Kenny Rogerson.

Jim Gaffigan 54:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:45 I g- I remember watching them, going, "How does the world not know about these fucking people?" Like they were, uh, they were as good, if not better than anybody that was on Evening at the Improv or HBO or ... And they never left. They stayed in this one town and there were so many clubs that they could work at that they didn't, had no desire to leave. And they would leave. They would go to other places and the other places, people wouldn't know them.

Jim Gaffigan 55:10 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:10 And they wouldn't get the same reaction. So they'd come back to Boston again.

Jim Gaffigan 55:14 Yeah, but isn't that ...

Joe Rogan 55:16 ... it's a trap.

Jim Gaffigan 55:18 A, a, a, it's, it is a trap, right?

Joe Rogan 55:19 It's a trap. Yeah, it's a trap. Yeah. They, they could have been world-class everywhere, and they chose to not do that and to stay within the confines of the c- the comfort of their, their playground.

Jim Gaffigan 55:31 Which is almost the, uh, the upside down version of you being able to go to Austin, right?

Joe Rogan 55:39 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 55:39 So, you going to Austin, you're like, "I can go where I want, and I'm gonna go here." And the, the, them not leaving Boston, you know, it's similar... You know, like, look, I grew up in a small town and there were people that, when I moved to New York, were kind of like, "Ooh, uh, how'd you get that?" And I'm like, "You can-"

Joe Rogan 56:03 "You can move too."

Jim Gaffigan 56:04 ... "You can move there too."

Joe Rogan 56:05 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 56:05 There's... (laughs) They stopped asking for a passport. And so-

Joe Rogan 56:09 They thought you found a ticket somewhere.

Jim Gaffigan 56:10 ... there is something... You know, there's the comfort they o- enjoyed. They were also, you know, partying their ass off.

Joe Rogan 56:17 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 56:17 But you have to... I guess you gotta make yourself uncomfortable, don't you?

Joe Rogan 56:22 Oh, it's the most important thing. It's the most important thing. If you strive for comfort, you're fucked. You, you, you can't do that. There's... I mean, it's not bad to be comfortable occasionally.

Jim Gaffigan 56:33 How do you carry on the lessons that you've acquired? How do you give those to your children?

Joe Rogan 56:40 That's hard. That's really

Joe Rogan 56:42 hard.

Jim Gaffigan 56:42 Is it nature or nurture?

Joe Rogan 56:43 I mean, I think it's both. It's both, for sure. I mean, I have, uh, one kid, my middle kid, who is a fucking straight up psycho. I don't have to tell her anything. She is just so driven and so smart and disciplined. And then I have my youngest who is really artistic.

Jim Gaffigan 57:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:02 And was less motivated, but now she does a lot of sports and she's more motivated. And then I have my oldest who is probably, like, one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. And I'm like, "You are so nice. And the fact that you grew up with me..." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 57:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:19 And you've, you've become this incredibly kind and sweet person. So, it's like, you don't-

Jim Gaffigan 57:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:28 ... y- y- you can't pick how your kids are gonna turn out.

Jim Gaffigan 57:32 No.

Joe Rogan 57:32 You can do your very best to influence them and to give them lessons and to teach them things, but my children grew up wealthy.

Jim Gaffigan 57:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:41 There's no way they're not going to be wealthy. They've never had to worry about whether or not we're gonna have food. I remember when I was a kid and we were on welfare, wondering if we were gonna have food.

Jim Gaffigan 57:50 Wow.

Joe Rogan 57:50 And when you're seven years old and that's in your head, that fucks with you.

Jim Gaffigan 57:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:55 And it gives you this feeling of... I- it's not just a lack of security. It's, um... It, it lights a fire under your ass to go out and do things 'cause you realize, like, you have to... Like, the, how people used to be in the fucking pioneer days. They had to go get food.

Jim Gaffigan 58:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:12 There was no stores. They had to go get it. They had to go-

Jim Gaffigan 58:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:15 ... get the food. They had to either grow food-

Jim Gaffigan 58:17 And there, there was no air conditioning.

Joe Rogan 58:18 There was no air conditioning. Imagine that.

Jim Gaffigan 58:21 Fuck. That sucks.

Joe Rogan 58:21 Imagine being here.

Jim Gaffigan 58:22 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 58:22 No AC?

Jim Gaffigan 58:23 No, thanks.

Joe Rogan 58:24 In the summer? I mean, at least we have a river. Jump in the river.

Jim Gaffigan 58:28 Right?

Joe Rogan 58:28 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 58:30 That's crazy.

Joe Rogan 58:30 Yeah, it's rough. And not only that, they didn't have any mosquito repellent. They didn't have shit. How about that?

Jim Gaffigan 58:35 They probably had, like, natural things.

Joe Rogan 58:38 S- wh- what?

Jim Gaffigan 58:39 I-... What was New Orleans like? I mean, that-

Joe Rogan 58:41 Oh.

Jim Gaffigan 58:42 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 58:42 Oh. That's probably why everybody was drunk.

Jim Gaffigan 58:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:46 Not only that.

Jim Gaffigan 58:46 I think you have to get drunk, right?

Joe Rogan 58:47 The fucking diseases. I mean, the- there was a-

Jim Gaffigan 58:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:50 ... malaria outbreak in America. Do you know that?

Jim Gaffigan 58:52 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:53 Mal- we've had malaria outbreaks in America, and it was from standing water. And they realized that these mosquitoes breed in standing water, so they, they eradicated the standing water, and they did a bunch of different things to try to mitigate the mosquito population. But yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 59:07 All right. Here, let's do a... You're gonna do your prediction of what's gonna happen in the next 10 years, and then I'll do my prediction. Unless you want me to go first.

Joe Rogan 59:15 Okay. Um, with the collapse of the narrative that people are gonna be saved from COVID by vaccines-

Jim Gaffigan 59:24 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 59:24 ... they're gonna try to push them even further, and there's gonna be a bunch of people buy into it because they're gonna be afraid that if they don't buy into it, that they're gonna be ostracized from the good group of people, and that only the bad group of people don't believe that this is the only way to go. The, the possible medical treatments for COVID, the ones, the, the early treatments that are important that are being developed, and some of them that exist, will be adopted by some, and there'll be a, a divide between people that think you should have early treatment or people that think you should have, like, your fourth booster, which is what they're doing to Israel. Along the way, what I'm worried about most is that they do import some sort of a vaccine passport which will evolve into a social credit system. The social credit-

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:13 Similar to what China has right now.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 ... system. Exactly. That-

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 ... that's what's terrifying about mandates. That's what's terrifying about the direction this country is going in because they said, "We would never mandate vaccinations." They said that very early on. "We would never do that." Now they're saying, "We're mandating vaccines."

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 Now in California, you have to mandate a vaccine for children for them to go to school, which is fucking sketchy and really scary.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:34 But there's other vaccines that kids take. Right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:36 Yeah, but it's not a vaccine because you have to take it all the time. You have to take it every year-

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 ... every couple times, uh, a year, three times a year, whatever it's gonna be.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 It's a, it's essentially a gene therapy. It's not like a smallpox vaccine or a measles vaccine where you take it once and it goes away.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:48 Is there any truth to the rumor that when... with the different variants, as we go through the g- the Greek alphabet, that when we finish the Greek alphabet, the world dies? Is that true?

Joe Rogan 1:00:59 It might be. Um, but this is my fear. My fear is-

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:03 ... that the government, which is an entity... Look, if you look at humans, right? When human beings have power over other human beings, whether they're a boss at an office-

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:13 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:13 ... that's unchecked, that wants to fuck all the secretaries-... and steal all the money. Or whether it's a, a president, or whether it's a congressperson who-

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 ... uh, gets to use insider trading tactics-

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:25 Yeah, that's, that's-

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 ... and accumulate hundreds of millions of dollars.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:27 That should be gone, obviously.

Joe Rogan 1:01:28 It should be gone. But all that stuff is in play. Why? Because they've accumulated unchecked power, and they will continue to exert this unchecked power as often and as pos- a- as often and as, as widely as possible. And my fear is that one of the tools that will allow them to do that is to institute some sort of a social credit system. And people will go along with it because they think that they're doing the right thing, that they're good people, and that good people want people to be vaccinated, and the best way to do that is to have an app. And the best way to ensure that people do their best-

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:02 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:02 ... to protect those around them is to sign up for this social credit system. And they're already buttering people up to it. There was an article in Yahoo about how you're going to be able to have access to more credit if you agree to this social system. Um, if you agree to, uh, allowing them... The, the, the premise initially was allowing them to look at your browser history. If you allow access to your browser history... I'll show you the article. Find the article.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:26 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:02:27 Yeah, yeah. It's adorable.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:28 (laughs) If you allow access to your browser history-

Joe Rogan 1:02:31 You can get more credit, Jim. Maybe you want that nice house. Maybe there's a house you like, and then there's a house you can afford. Maybe you can afford the house you like. Just let us into your computer.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:39 Oh, it's so interesting. It's kinda like free wifi if you give us your birthday.

Joe Rogan 1:02:43 Exactly.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:44 So it's letting you slowly get integrated into the system, and the benefits that you get from it will allow you to take this chance, and then they're gonna have their hooks in. And this is the thing that most social psychologists that are studying this shit are terrified of. "Credit scores may soon be based on your web history. Is that a good thing? It's a good thing. Experts predict in the not too distant future, your internet habits could affect your credit score and help lenders determine what they offer you. We will let you in on what we know so far about how your online activity could be used to determine how much credit you can get and what interest rate." This is the beginning of this shit. Once they develop a social credit system and say, "Jim, you've been paying your taxes late. You're not gonna be able to go to the movies on Friday." Like, that kinda shit.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:34 Oh, it's like China. You can't get on that train.

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 Exactly. That kinda shit is how they divide society, and that is 100% on the table for the United States of America if we don't watch. If we don't pay attention, and if we allow these politicians to have this unchecked use of power, it, it absolutely could be our future, and it will be dystopian at best. If that's what happens, if they have that-

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:59 And do you think that-

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 ... kind of unchecked power-

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:00 Do you think that... Is, is this, uh, is this, uh, more likely to occur among the Democrats or the Republicans, or either?

Joe Rogan 1:04:11 I think it's probably either. I think-

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:13 ... we... Our idea of what people are capable of is, um, based entirely on the allegiance we have to our tribe and whether or not we, you know, think we're the good guys or the bad guys.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:26 I think if you look at the way the far left behaves with Antifa lighting fucking buildings on fire and throwing rocks at cops and all that crazy shit, they're doing just as crazy... Th- their, their behavior is just as crazy as people that are on the far right.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:40 Do you-

Joe Rogan 1:04:41 It's-

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:41 ... feel like you, uh... You don't feel like the, um... I mean, I- it's just like... So you think that Antifa is as big enough of a problem as the, uh, the insurrectionists and stuff like that?

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 It completely depends on where you live. It deple-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:05 It completely depends on how much power they have. I think if the insurrectionists got to a point where they were supported, like those morons that, uh, went into the Capitol on January 6th-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:15 ... if they got to the point where they were, they were, uh, protected and supported by politicians, and they were, uh-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:22 If they were described as patriots.

Joe Rogan 1:05:24 Yes. And, and not only that. If they were, um, exonerated of, uh, all their vandalism-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:31 Responsibility. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:31 All the things that Antifa's done.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 Exonerated of their vandalism, said that their protests were mostly peaceful.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:37 If they, they used that kind of rhetoric and they built them up, I think they're all equally dangerous. I think it's a human nature issue more than it is an ideological issue. I don't think there's a good ideology-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:47 ... and a bad ideology when it comes to the opposition of power. I think there are st- there are tactics and strategies that people will use, and they will use them if they think they're doing it for social justice, if they have fucking blue hair and a Molotov cocktail, or if they think they're doing it because they're patriotic because they have an American flag bandana and a fucking-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:05 ... Molotov cocktail. I think they're the same people. I think they're the same people. And if you got that guy with the fucking buffalo helmet on who, uh, sat in Nancy Pelosi's chair-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:15 ... if you got that dipshit and he moved into Portland and he grew up there, and he thought that he was gonna, you know, uh, take down the Capitol Building and throw a fucking, uh-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:23 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:23 ... hand grenade at-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:24 ... Ted Wheeler, who's the mayor of Portland, he would have done that. He woulda, he woulda, he would have done that. Instead of attack the Capitol, instead of being this QAnon dummy, he would have been, uh, an Antifa dummy. I don't, I don't think they're any different. I think they adopt this ideology. They fit in. They get meaning in that. They find themselves-

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:42 It's their religion.

Joe Rogan 1:06:43 Exactly. Exactly. It's very tribal, and it's, it's very much in line with human behavior characteristics that have existed from the beginning of time.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:53 And we know that these people are receiving tons of, uh, you know, information on, uh, through social media and stuff like that, that is... Like all these, a lot of these... I mean, a lot of these Trump supporters, they're sincere. Like-

Joe Rogan 1:07:11 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:11 ... these people that are like-

Joe Rogan 1:07:12 Did you see Into the Storm?

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:14 Yeah, I think so.

Joe Rogan 1:07:14 The QAnon documentary on HBO?

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:15 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:16 Wild.Wild shit.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:19 That's why I'm surprised that your prediction... And, and I... You know, y- when you talk about, like, the social credit score. But, like, I look at it this way, um, and some of it is I'm a comedian, all right? So I, I'm not... But, um, so two years, uh, you know, here we are in '22. Um, it's gonna be a, a... The Democrats are gonna lose the House. They're gonna lose the Senate. They're gonna lose a lot of, uh... They're gonna impeach Biden, uh, on, you know, s- some kind of Benghazi kinda thing. Um, and it's this powder keg that's getting worse and worse. And, um, and then, um, you know, the voting rights. People are gonna be... I would think people would be, like, kinda pissed in these, you know, uh, these communities where there's, you know, African Americans have one place to vote and it's 20 miles away, when I know that I can walk in and I don't even have to set aside a half an hour. I think people are gonna be kinda pissed. I think there's gonna be more violence. I think it's probably not gonna be good. I think that, um, uh, you know...

Joe Rogan 1:08:43 Is that a gigantic issue where so many African Americans live in a place where there's no place to vote in person?

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:49 D- it seems like voting rights-

Joe Rogan 1:08:52 But is that, like, a rural thing? Are you talking about rural populations?

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:55 I think it's like there's certain communities where the access to voting has been limited-

Joe Rogan 1:09:02 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:02 ... in numerous states. We know that, right?

Joe Rogan 1:09:04 Well, the, there's definitely shenanigans on both sides when it comes to voting. Because from the beginning... Like, if you said to anybody, like, "Do you think there's ever been an election where there's zero voting fraud?" No. Never. Not- not a single one.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:20 I'm not, I'm not talking about Kennedy winning, uh, Chicago and-

Joe Rogan 1:09:23 But that is, but that's, that's the beginning of it all.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:25 But that was, like, that was 1960.

Joe Rogan 1:09:27 Right, but do you know that the Democrats accused-

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:29 Do you think that Trump-

Joe Rogan 1:09:30 ... Bush of stealing the election? Right?

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:32 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:09:32 Yeah, m- on more than one occasion. And it's like, this is a thing that people have always-

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:37 Well, like, there's people that think that, um, uh, essentially the Republicans had better lawyers. That's how W won that.

Joe Rogan 1:09:45 Yes, there are people that think that.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:46 And with John Kerry in particular, that was another one, right? Um, with Al Gore, that was another one.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:52 But there wasn't, there wasn't the storming of the Capitol-

Joe Rogan 1:09:55 No.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:55 ... when Trump won.

Joe Rogan 1:09:56 Well, I think that's entirely a creation of social media and the ability to gather up people and do something really fucking stupid like that. And then on top of that-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:04 But, but was it-

Joe Rogan 1:10:06 ... agent provocateurs-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:06 Was it... All right, agent provocateurs.

Joe Rogan 1:10:07 Did you ever see those guys?

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:09 But-

Joe Rogan 1:10:09 The guys were tr-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:10 Didn't Trump do a tweet like, "It's gonna be wild"?

Joe Rogan 1:10:12 Oh, listen. He is 100% a part of why they did that.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:18 Now-

Joe Rogan 1:10:18 100%.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:19 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:10:19 Because of his influence and because he said, "You have to be strong and you have to do the..." He was compounding upon some other things that were happening.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:26 But I also think there was, without a doubt, agent provocateurs from the federal government that encouraged people to go into the Federal Building, into Capitol Building. There's-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:35 But why?

Joe Rogan 1:10:35 You know they have them on video.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:36 Why?

Joe Rogan 1:10:37 Because they wanna arrest people. They wanna catch people doing stuff like that, and they also wanna be able to have-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:42 So you're talking about the app sky, right? That, that, that, that-

Joe Rogan 1:10:43 ... more authoritarian control. Yeah. Did you watch that?

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:45 Yeah, I, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:46 That's wild shit.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:47 So, but, like, you're telling me that... And again, it's like, you know, it's so interesting on social media. People are, "You can't call them this." I'm like, look, I, I'm not s-

Joe Rogan 1:10:58 What are they saying you can't call them?

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:00 Um, uh, insurrectionists. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:11:02 Well, what are they? If you're, if you're storming into the Capitol Building with zip ties-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:11:06 These guys had zip z- zip ties.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:11:08 Like, a fucking-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:08 What are they?

Joe Rogan 1:11:09 ... huge bundle-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:11 What are they?

Joe Rogan 1:11:11 ... of them.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:11 Well, what they're saying is that they would describe them as protesters.

Joe Rogan 1:11:15 Some of them, I think, were protesters-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:16 ... who got caught, caught up.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:17 And you know there were some grandmas and grandpas that were like-

Joe Rogan 1:11:19 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:19 ... "We like Trump." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:11:20 Yes. Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:21 What's going on?

Joe Rogan 1:11:22 But there was also some people that were probably legit terrorists. I think the, the guy who-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:28 And you think that they were.

Joe Rogan 1:11:28 ... with the fucking zip ties-

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:29 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:11:29 ... if, if that guy found Nancy Pelosi and zip tied her and carried off, or, or maybe even executed her, I mean, that's not outside the realm of possibility with some of these people.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:37 Oh, I totally agree with you.

Joe Rogan 1:11:38 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:38 I think that, like, the, the, uh, the thing that I find so amazing is that the fact that... And sadly, there was a- five people that died, but, like, the fact that, like, none of the government officials were, were killed is, like, a fluke.

Joe Rogan 1:11:59 Very lucky.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:00 Very lucky.

Joe Rogan 1:12:01 Like, if they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, they didn't anticipate that, and they thought that, you know, they would be held off. So they stayed in the Capitol Building and they weren't rushed off into some fucking underground bunker or wherever they put those people, and the wrong people got to them. It's, it's about the wrong people, right? It's like, I think that a lot of them were dorks. I don't think the guy with the Buffalo helmet, you see when he was walking around the Senate?

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:22 Oh, he's mental, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:23 He's, he's got a problem.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:24 And he's not that smart. And he's-

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:26 ... you know, they... He thought he was, like, being a patriot. And I think there's a lot of them like that. But-

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:31 And why were they?

Joe Rogan 1:12:32 But the guy with the zip ties?

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:34 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:34 When I saw that, I showed that to someone, I was like, "This motherfucker has zip ties. Why do you think he has zip ties?" Th- that's to restrain someone. That's-

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:41 ... 'cause he thinks he's gonna play cop or good guy or patriot or-

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:45 Or executioner.

Joe Rogan 1:12:46 ... he's gonna... Or executioner. He's gonna zip tie someone's hands.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:49 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:12:49 You know, they were calling for Mike Pence. They were saying, "You're a fucking traitor and we're gonna come for you."

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:54 I, I, I can't, I can't begin to, to contemplate the, the mindset of Mike Pence over the past five years. I mean, it's just-

Joe Rogan 1:13:06 Well, he was a radio guy, right?

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:08 Well, he was also... He's... I think he's a, a... I think he sincerely loves his wife. I think he's sincere in his Christian faith. But, like, I think, like, the... Look, all politicians are politicians, but, like, the level...... of decay. And by the way, this is following up, two stand-up comedians talking about the amount of shit that we've eaten.

Joe Rogan 1:13:33 (laughs)

Narrator 1:13:34 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:34 The amount of humiliation that we've consumed. But, like, there is a point where you're like, "Really? R- Really?" You know? And by the way, Mike Pence did the right thing in kind of, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:13:47 Well, he did the right thing-

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:48 Uh-

Joe Rogan 1:13:48 ... in that he didn't try to reverse the vote.

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:51 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:13:51 'Cause Trump-

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:52 But, like-

Joe Rogan 1:13:52 There was some sort of weird loophole in that, in the law-

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:56 ... that was being discussed as to whether or not Mike Pence can change-

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:01 Throw out things, yes.

Joe Rogan 1:14:02 ... which is fucking insane.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:05 It's absolutely insane.

Joe Rogan 1:14:06 Imagine if Trump had a Vice Trump, right?

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:09 Yeah. Well, that's what he's going to have.

Joe Rogan 1:14:11 Well, who the fuck would that be?

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:12 And by the way, that's, that's, that's part of my prediction, is-

Joe Rogan 1:14:16 Oh.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:16 So then when Trump runs against Biden, they're both impeached.

Joe Rogan 1:14:22 Mm. I don't think Biden's gonna run a second time. I think it's gonna be Pete Buttigieg, and it might not even be Kamala Harris. She might bail because she's so unliked, she might become a hazard for the, the Democratic Party if you look at her, her, the voter confidence in the, the-

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:40 It is weird how it shifts in a matter of three months.

Joe Rogan 1:14:45 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:45 So, I mean, Biden was pronounced dead numerous times, right?

Joe Rogan 1:14:49 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:49 And so was-

Joe Rogan 1:14:50 That's true.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:50 ... McCain before him. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:14:51 But the Democratic Party was so firmly behind Biden that even though he was pronounced dead, like, no one's gonna vote for him, it's like, the, what they wanted was the Democrat Party in place.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:15:01 They wanted to get Trump out and have the Democrats in place, and restore what they felt like was order, and so he was the best representative of that and he's the guy who was gonna play ball the most. You know? But I think, um... I mean, like, I've said this before and I'll say it again, I think if Michelle Obama ran, she would win.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:18 I know, but why-

Joe Rogan 1:15:19 But he's... Why would-

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:21 I think.

Joe Rogan 1:15:21 ... she do it? Yeah, why would she, right? She was already the First Lady. She did eight years as the First Lady. She experienced enough fucking chaos and stress. They made it out. But who knows, man? They, she might feel like, uh, she has a duty to the country. She might feel like... Because she could fucking win, for sure. I really firmly believe she wins.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:43 Well, w- I think we also know that, uh, the Democrats have to build that Obama coalition and, uh, which is motivating African Americans, so she could definitely do that.

Joe Rogan 1:15:56 Well, it's also we want a female president, right? Like, and to have a female president that is the wife of the greatest president of our lifetime, and brilliant lady-

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:06 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 1:16:06 ... charming, so easy to like, and, and she would... You know, she's given speeches before.

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:11 You trust her judgment.

Joe Rogan 1:16:13 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:13 You trust her judgment.

Joe Rogan 1:16:15 Well, it's what we need. Like, as a president, what we, what we have always needed was someone who represents the very best of us, and w- I think we got that with Obama. You could say we got that with Clinton before he got his dick sucked, but, you know, you could say (laughs) -

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:28 ... you know, before he got in trouble with certain things. But we want someone who seems better than us. We want someone-

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:35 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:35 ... who is like-

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:35 Aspirational.

Joe Rogan 1:16:36 Yes. We want-

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:37 ... someone who is... When they represent the United States of America, they represent as good as what we have to offer. That was Obama. Obama was this brilliant lawyer. He was so smooth, and he was so measured, and the way he would talk about things was so statesmanlike that that over, uh... I mean, not... Look, all of them, people are gonna have policy issues with. All of them, people are gonna have issues with whether, what, what we do overseas or what happens with the economy. There's gonna be disputes left and right about everything the president does. No president is universally loved. But what you can't deny is what Obama represented was about as good as America has to offer, in terms of intelligence and poise and control of himself and the way he dignified the office. He was a great statesman.

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:29 That's so interesting because I, I, I totally agree, but I think that that's what you and I