Joe Rogan Experience #1989 - Andrew Dice Clay

Narrator 0:00 (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Yeah. Number one, it's great to see you.

Joe Rogan 0:14 Great to see you too.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:15 Let me just do, uh, you know, what I gotta do. You know.

Joe Rogan 0:19 Are these your, uh, podcast glasses?

Andrew Dice Clay 0:24 I got 'em.

Joe Rogan 0:24 You got special ones?

Andrew Dice Clay 0:24 W- what's his name?

Joe Rogan 0:26 Jamie. That's your name, Jamie.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:27 Jamie. Y- you do understand I'm doing the Joe Rogan Experience, right?

Joe Rogan 0:31 He's doing the Joe Rogan Experience.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:32 So why wouldn't I-

Joe Rogan 0:33 Yeah, you gotta swap glasses.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:34 ... use the best?

Joe Rogan 0:34 Ooh, I like those.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:35 We go with the chrome.

Joe Rogan 0:37 I like it.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:37 You see what happens-

Joe Rogan 0:38 I like it. I like the chrome.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:39 We go with the chrome.

Joe Rogan 0:40 I like it. I like how you have a case.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:42 And-

Joe Rogan 0:42 Those are serious shades.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:44 This is the experience. This is your sh-... You've-

Joe Rogan 0:47 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:48 ... now taken over everything.

Joe Rogan 0:51 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:51 In my opinion. And I'm proud of you for that.

Joe Rogan 0:54 Thank you.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:55 And see?

Joe Rogan 0:56 Well, I'm proud to be your friend.

Andrew Dice Clay 0:57 Well, I'm proud to be yours. Now, if you notice...

Joe Rogan 1:00 You know, I was in your documentary and I said... Everything I said b-... I 100% believe in... is true.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05 And I appreciate that, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06 And we were actually just talking about you last night. And I was... I was s- telling these guys, I go, "Dice is doing the only real alternative (laughs) comedy that's out there." Those videos (laughs) that you're doing with fans-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:20 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 1:21 You were... First of all, you were one of the originar-... or-ri- originators of what I would call alternative comedy.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:28 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:28 This is wha-... This is what you did. You did The Day the Laughter Died in the height of your success.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:35 You were selling out arenas all over the fucking place.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:38 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:38 And you decided to do Dangerfield's when no one was in there with no material and just fuck around, and it's amazing.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:45 Listen, listen. Before we even go there, I-

Joe Rogan 1:51 All right.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:52 I got a little beef with you.

Joe Rogan 1:54 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:54 Nothing that's not... Uh, it's not gonna get violent. Okay?

Joe Rogan 1:58 Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:58 None of that.

Joe Rogan 1:59 What's the beef?

Andrew Dice Clay 1:59 Because even years ago when you first came to LA, and trust me, you were alternative, the minute I- I walked into the-

Joe Rogan 2:07 Alternative?

Andrew Dice Clay 2:08 Yeah, th-

Joe Rogan 2:08 I don't mean alternative in a negative way.

Andrew Dice Clay 2:10 No, no. You doing it your own way.

Joe Rogan 2:11 Oh, okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 2:11 The way you saw fit, the way I did it, the way Kennison did it. That's how you did it. So I come walking into the original room. I come in through the back. I always do the same thing. I go in through the kitchen, club soda, red straw, $5 tip-

Joe Rogan 2:28 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 2:28 ... into the original room 'cause I'm hearing something, somebody I don't know. Okay? And I look in there, and it's you full force. I mean, screaming at the crowd. And what made it even better-

Joe Rogan 2:48 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 2:50 ... you were i-... Number one, you were doing time. And you were just going ballistic. I thought you were gonna start breaking the stool.

Joe Rogan 2:58 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 2:58 I- I mean, you just... You know, you were also just finding your legs. We're talking about 25, maybe even closer to 30 years ago-

Joe Rogan 3:08 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 3:08 ... when you first came out there and you're screaming your head off and you get in a heckle fight with a guy. Now, I will admit that the heckle fights I've had end in the club. Okay? It just ends. Not you. This went outside where there's, I don't know, 20 people, 20 something people between the two of yous. And I'm going, "He's gonna kill this guy." For what? The guy yelled out during his set, but you were right because the guy didn't stop and he was one of those, um-

Joe Rogan 3:41 Well, that... No, that guy was threatening me.

Andrew Dice Clay 3:43 N- no. He was threatening-

Joe Rogan 3:44 That was... He was threatening me and he said he was gonna throw a glass at me.

Andrew Dice Clay 3:46 And he was really drunk.

Joe Rogan 3:47 He was holding a glass back.

Andrew Dice Clay 3:48 And you were just trying-

Joe Rogan 3:49 I don't know if he was that drunk. I think he was just a piece of shit.

Andrew Dice Clay 3:51 Yeah, I l-... I- I-

Joe Rogan 3:52 And that... And he had... Th- the thing about that guy, I know that story. That guy had done that to a bunch of other comedians before me and I got to see and watch it. And they didn't know how to handle it.

Andrew Dice Clay 4:01 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 4:01 He was just being a piece of shit.

Andrew Dice Clay 4:03 No, I know that. And look, I've had-

Joe Rogan 4:05 There's a difference between, like, a heckler and someone who, like, purposely tries to interrupt the set for their own joy and fuck with people.

Andrew Dice Clay 4:12 And doesn't care.

Joe Rogan 4:13 And then he threatened me. And so I was like, "Okay, we'll see what happens. W- let's go outside."

Andrew Dice Clay 4:18 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:19 You know?

Andrew Dice Clay 4:19 But that's what I loved, you know. You know, I even loved one time, you know, I'm out back and I know how close you are with Diaz and he gets in a little argument with someone. But what is... And I'm watching this and I'm like, "Oh, please, why am I even here?" You know?

Joe Rogan 4:36 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 4:36 I wasn't even gonna come out tonight.

Joe Rogan 4:39 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 4:39 And it's getting heated and he has a bad temper. So he takes one of the big glasses-

Joe Rogan 4:44 Oh, yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 4:44 ... and he just breaks it so it's a jagged edge. And I'm like, "Joey, what... what are you doing? Put the glass down." It's like I see that he's seeing red.

Joe Rogan 4:54 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 4:54 I go, "Put the glass down." And he's looking at me and he's like, "Yeah, you're right. He's not worth the..." I'm going, "Worth the... This is a comedy club. What goes on here?" You know-

Joe Rogan 5:04 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 5:04 ... Rogan's chasing people outside to continue to fight. You're ready to cut some guy's throat.

Joe Rogan 5:09 I know the Diaz story too though.

Andrew Dice Clay 5:11 Y-

Joe Rogan 5:11 The Diaz guy, that g-... that-

Andrew Dice Clay 5:12 That guy was a piece of shit too, but-

Joe Rogan 5:14 But the other guy was a biker.

Andrew Dice Clay 5:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:16 He was like this, this tough guy that liked to fuck with Joey. And Joey was like, "I will cut you." And-

Andrew Dice Clay 5:23 And he was willing to.

Joe Rogan 5:24 ... obviously. But this is J-... This is Joey, like, fresh outta jail Joey.

Andrew Dice Clay 5:28 No, I know.

Joe Rogan 5:28 This is Joey, like, 30 years ago Joey. It's a different Joey.

Andrew Dice Clay 5:31 Yeah. And this is Dice, just wanting to do it-

Joe Rogan 5:33 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 5:33 ... the, the popping.

Joe Rogan 5:34 I know. Well, also me for... then, back then, it was just so weird to be around you 'cause I... I... I've told this story before but when I was 19 years old, me and my girlfriend were sitting in my fucking car in front of my house, I'll never forget it, and we're listening to Dice, the cassette, and we're howling laughing. She was crying. She was just going, "Ah." She just kept, like, slapping her arms. And, and we... I just remember thinking, God... This is before I even thought about doing an open mic. I just kept thinking, "How the fuck is someone so funny?" I remember listening to that cassette. It was so good, it was so fun, it's so silly. And i-... just me as a kid, as a 19-year-old kid trying to find my way in life, it just, like...So, just from me being arou- when I came to the store, I used to be like, "Holy shit, that's Dice Clay." It's w- it was weird.

Andrew Dice Clay 6:25 Listen, first off, I appreciate the things you, you say, and that you have said when I'm not here. But-

Joe Rogan 6:31 I mean everything I say.

Andrew Dice Clay 6:32 ... am I allowed to tell you how proud I am of you?

Joe Rogan 6:35 You can tell me anything-

Andrew Dice Clay 6:36 You know.

Joe Rogan 6:36 ... you want.

Andrew Dice Clay 6:36 No, because I have watched you. See, people forget your beginning. You know, I remember the stand-up. I remember you were on a hit sitcom. I remember Fear-

Joe Rogan 6:47 It wasn't really a hit.

Andrew Dice Clay 6:48 Well, I remember-

Joe Rogan 6:49 It was a hit kinda-

Andrew Dice Clay 6:49 ... Fear Factor.

Joe Rogan 6:50 ... after. Yeah, Hit, that wasn't it. That was weird.

Andrew Dice Clay 6:51 But I remember, what I do remember, and you've brought this up on the show, where, um, I was like, eh, I had like a few weeks off. I would do half a million people and then come home for a few weeks. That, that was my touring. You know, we'll get into all that. We could show a clip. I think I sent a clip of me just standing on stage at the Garden not even talking.

Joe Rogan 7:14 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 7:15 And, um, so what, what happened is, I'm back 'cause I would book 20 cities at a clip. And honestly, we all know this is before any kind of social media. This is 35 years ago.

Joe Rogan 7:30 Yes.

Andrew Dice Clay 7:30 The ad was the size of the pad, which, if you notice, says, "Rogan." I bought a pad to make notes with.

Joe Rogan 7:39 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 7:40 Do you understand?

Joe Rogan 7:41 I do understand. (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 7:42 Stories.

Joe Rogan 7:42 I appreciate it.

Andrew Dice Clay 7:43 You know. And then he says-

Joe Rogan 7:44 I like how they're written big, too.

Andrew Dice Clay 7:45 "Don't forget the back page." The back pa-

Joe Rogan 7:48 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 7:48 ... the, yeah, that's a whole pad that I'll never use again.

Joe Rogan 7:51 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 7:52 What you didn't notice, I'm not in leather.

Joe Rogan 7:55 You're wearing, are you going vegan on me?

Andrew Dice Clay 7:57 No, this is daytime Dice.

Joe Rogan 7:59 Oh, daytime Dice.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:00 Why would I wear Rochelle leather-

Joe Rogan 8:02 I understand.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:03 ... during the day?

Joe Rogan 8:03 I understand.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:04 So I gave you the motorcycle, I gave you the gloves, but we went cotton.

Joe Rogan 8:09 I like it.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:09 All out.

Joe Rogan 8:10 Casual.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:10 New York.

Joe Rogan 8:11 Comfortable.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:11 Casual.

Joe Rogan 8:12 Comfortable.

Andrew Dice Clay 8:13 So, back then, I see you hanging outside. This is the first time we talk really. And I come over to you. (laughs) You're just in the back parking lot, the same area where Diaz was gonna cut someone's throat weeks earlier. All right.

Joe Rogan 8:32 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 8:32 And you're just hanging out, you know. And I said, "How you doing?" I introduce myself, and you were really respectful, really nice. You still are. And I said, "Well, what are you doing here?" And you said, "What do you mean? I'm, uh, you know, I'm a comic. I'm gonna do a set." I go, "No, what are you doing here? You know, at the store, you know for $25." I go, "You're on, in my opinion, a hit show, a hit sitcom." I go, "You could be out there making tens of thousands of dollars on the road." And you're li- and I'm thinking, "Who's his manager?" Like, I wanted to call the manager, go, "Why do you have your client at the store when he's on a hit show, when in three days he could go make himself 15, 20 grand in a minute?" You know? And you were looking at me going, "Really?" You know, yeah, that's what it's about.

Joe Rogan 9:25 Well, you, this is what, I re-

Andrew Dice Clay 9:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:26 ... I tell everybody this. Y- I remember where we were standing. You came up to me like, "You should do the road."

Andrew Dice Clay 9:31 Right outside the back door.

Joe Rogan 9:32 Yeah. "Why, why aren't you doing the road?" I was like, "Why aren't I doing the road? I should probably do the road." I mean, it was, a lot of it was like, uh, sitcoms are a lot of work, especially in the early days. There was like 16-hour days and you're exhausted. And I just was, was happy to just still be doing standup. So I'd go to the store. I didn't have any friends. I'd just moved there. So I'd go to the store after I did my work all day, and I could do a set.

Andrew Dice Clay 9:54 But-

Joe Rogan 9:54 That's, that's sort of why I did it.

Andrew Dice Clay 9:56 You know, but, but it was just so great the way you looked at me, like, "Really?"

Joe Rogan 10:00 Like, "Really?" Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:00 "Like, I could be making more than 25-"

Joe Rogan 10:02 But I knew I could be making money.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:03 And we all know what the store's about. It's not about money.

Joe Rogan 10:05 We-

Andrew Dice Clay 10:05 The store's that college for-

Joe Rogan 10:07 Yes.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:07 ... comics that we all-

Joe Rogan 10:08 The hangout.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:09 It, it's just the greatest place.

Joe Rogan 10:11 It's the greatest place.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:11 You know that.

Joe Rogan 10:12 It's the great place.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:12 Well now, there's two great places.

Joe Rogan 10:13 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:13 Now you got the Mothership.

Joe Rogan 10:14 We basically did the store-

Andrew Dice Clay 10:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:15 ... in Texas.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:16 But you telling me that changed my life. It did because then I started touring. I listened to you.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:22 Beca- that's why you're sitting right here right now. That's why when, when, when your show elevated to this level, you were getting texting from me. Because I was there before you in a different way, you know? But, you know, what, let me tell you something. When you're the first guy to d- I'm the first guy to do what I did.

Joe Rogan 10:47 Yes.

Andrew Dice Clay 10:47 You know? I mean, I always looked up to Eddie Murphy. I think he's the absolute greatest from stand-up to, to the films he's done. And that's sort of the career I wanted. I figured I would just go from doing, you know, uh, millions of people on the road to just movie stardom, you know? But, you know, I got the backlash, you know?

Joe Rogan 11:10 Yeah, you were the first to get the backlash.

Andrew Dice Clay 11:12 Yeah, but, yeah, I was the first-

Joe Rogan 11:13 Banned from MTV.

Andrew Dice Clay 11:15 ... cancel culture, so, n- banned from MTV?

Joe Rogan 11:17 Banned from MTV for jokes.

Andrew Dice Clay 11:19 Let me... You're bringing up stuff I wanna bring up. But let me, all right, so with MTV, this is what you'll love. This is the part you don't know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:28 Well, didn't they approve that set anyway?

Andrew Dice Clay 11:30 No, they didn't approve-

Joe Rogan 11:30 They didn't?

Andrew Dice Clay 11:30 ... anything.

Joe Rogan 11:31 They didn't know?

Andrew Dice Clay 11:33 No, see-

Joe Rogan 11:35 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 11:35 ... you know, this is the thing. You know, I always had an expression, "Nobody fucks with Dice. Dice does the fucking."

Joe Rogan 11:43 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 11:43 In the past, the present, the future, and today, Dice ultimately-

Joe Rogan 11:51 In the multiverse.

Andrew Dice Clay 11:51 ... does the fucking. That's it.

Joe Rogan 11:54 In the multiverse.

Andrew Dice Clay 11:55 So, I come for the rehearsal, and my whole job was to hit my mark, and, ladies and gentlemen, I remember it, The Last Puritan, Cher. And I make that move with my hand.

Joe Rogan 12:10 Right?

Andrew Dice Clay 12:10 Cher. Okay. So, I'm getting ready, and they, uh, they already had a couple comics on that just tanked, you know.... Paul Reiser, and I think he's great, but-

Narrator 12:23 Tough crowds.

Andrew Dice Clay 12:24 ... y- y- you don't come out on the MTV Awards at the Universal Amphitheater and talk about the hacked Sinatra award. I'm looking at my friend going, "Look at, look at the crowd. Nobody..." It's like he's not even in the room, you know? And my friend says to me, he goes, "Well, you could go out there and you could either be a teardrop, or you could be a tidal wave. You know you." Okay, so... (laughs) I don't really wanna go nuts, I'm trying to do the right thing. I got the biggest manager ever, Sandy Gallin, who had everybody from Whoopi to Stallone to Dolly Parton. I mean, I'm sure you know the name Sandy Gallin. Okay. So, biggest manager in Hollywood. So I'm trying to do the right thing, and, um... So now, I don't know, a minute before I go out, Arsenio's the host. Here comes Dick Clark, who... Wow, it's Dick Clark. You know, you grow up-

Narrator 13:25 Mmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 13:25 ... watching this man. And he comes over. Just to hear him call me Dice was hilarious (laughs) . And he goes, "Look, Dice, if you gotta stretch, Arsenio will come over to you and you'll play around." And I go, "Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What do you mean stretch? Stretch what?" You know, "What am I stretching, my dick?"

Narrator 13:46 Ooh (laughs) .

Andrew Dice Clay 13:46 "What are you talking about?" No, I'm not even kidding. He goes, "No, y- you know, because Cher might not be ready." I go, "No, no, no, we didn't work anything out, me and Arsenio." And I had no problem with Arsenio, but, you know, this is a standalone spot, you know? And he goes, "Well, this is the way things go." I go, "Don't fucking tell me how things go, okay? You're not my boss." You know? And as I'm getting angry at him, which in my mind, I'm going, "Are you really getting angry at Dick Clark?"

Narrator 14:14 This is- (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 14:15 Right? They start introducing me. Well, I come out there and now I'm angry. Now everybody's gonna pay, now everybody will be disciplined. And I don't know how I did the set, but I went into the poems. Now you gotta understand, this is not HBO or Showtime, this is MTV. This is... Everybody gets this, it's free, you know? I go into the poems and, uh... What was the poem? Uh... Oh, that got me banned. I go, "Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, jerked off in his girlfriend's eye. When her eye was dry and shut, Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut. Oh." (imitates guitar riff)

Narrator 14:58 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 14:58 And the crowd's going fucking crazy. So I figured, go into my fat girl stuff.

Narrator 15:04 Good.

Andrew Dice Clay 15:04 And that ended with, "You don't know where the tits begin and the belly ends, it's like one big glop of shit," right?

Narrator 15:14 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 15:14 And I go... Now I go, 'cause they gave me a signal, "Ladies and gentlemen, the last Puritan, Cher." And she comes out singing If I Could Turn Back Time, which is-

Narrator 15:25 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 15:25 ... what everybody was thinking in the room, If We Could Turn Back Time about eight minutes. But in the meantime, while I'm doing the act, Dick Clark goes to charge me and Arsenio jumps on his back and tackles him.

Narrator 15:41 Dick Ch- Dick Clark's trying to stop your set?

Andrew Dice Clay 15:43 Dick Clark was gonna jump... He went out of his fucking mind.

Narrator 15:46 Oh my god.

Andrew Dice Clay 15:46 His hair got messy, I'll put it to you that way.

Narrator 15:49 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 15:50 So now...

Narrator 15:51 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 15:51 Now I come off the stage, Eddie, right?

Narrator 15:56 Jamie.

Andrew Dice Clay 15:57 Jamie.

Narrator 15:57 Jamie.

Andrew Dice Clay 15:57 Listen, Jamie.

Narrator 15:58 Young Jamie.

Andrew Dice Clay 15:59 Young Jamie. So now they're taking me into the press tents, not one question was asked. And, and it was all the press in the world. Sandy Gallin calls me at home, he goes, "I was praying that what I was watching on TV was only coming through my television."

Narrator 16:21 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 16:23 Then I get a call, you know, from a club owner. Remember Rascals in West Orange?

Narrator 16:29 Yes, sure.

Andrew Dice Clay 16:30 The owner, Mark Magnason?

Narrator 16:31 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 16:31 Great, greatest guy. So Kennison was there, who... I always say he was having a rivalry with me. I was happy for him when his career took off, I was thrilled for him. He had no problem with me 'cause I was on the show Crime Story at the time. But... And he was doing, I don't know, four or 5,000 seats a night. He was the guy before I took off. When my career took off, it went straight to arenas. I was doing 80 to 100,000 people a week and he just couldn't handle it, for whatever reason. But he goes, "So Kennison's watching this going, 'That's it, he's done, he's finished.'" In the meantime, the reality was, I went from doing one arena show, let- let- let- let's say at The Spectrum in Philly, to two arena shows.

Narrator 17:20 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 17:20 Or three arena shows, where Bill Burr saw me at, um... In Boston, at whatever arena I did there. I had one show, it went to three shows. It just got bigger and bigger and bigger, nothing was hurting. And so the next day there's this big meeting at MTV, and Rick Rubin was there, you know, and, you know, my, my people that I worked with, uh, Sandy Gallin, all these... But it was the president, they're banning me for life, you know, which is hilarious. I'm not even a singer, you know?

Narrator 17:55 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 17:55 And, uh... Yeah, I'm like, "So I'm banned, what do I give a shit?"

Narrator 17:58 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 17:58 "Look at the numbers," you know?

Narrator 17:59 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 18:00 And, um... But Dick Clark, this is why Dick Clark became Dick Clark, 'cause the guy that was trying to tackle and beat me to a pulp for what I was doing is standing there, his hair is now fixed the next day. And he says to a room full of executives, when they're banning me for life, he goes, "Are you sure you wanna do that? 'Cause Rick Rubin told me."... and he goes, "This guy is the biggest thing in the world right now, and you're banning him for life?" It was just one of the crazy moments-

Narrator 18:34 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 18:34 ... of the backlash of my career. And, like I said, this is 1990.

Narrator 18:41 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 18:42 You know, this is years before the arena comedy today, which you do, and Bill does-

Narrator 18:48 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 18:48 ... and so many... I didn't even know I-

Narrator 18:49 Nobody was doing it. Nobody was doing it before you.

Andrew Dice Clay 18:50 ... I didn't even know I was setting that off.

Narrator 18:52 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 18:52 I mean, it was a goal of mine, because honestly, if I was just being honest, I, I never gave a fuck about standup. It's not why I do it, you know? I came into standup because I just figured instead of going to an acting school once a week, you know, why not get on a stage and develop your own, um, method of acting, you know? And I could be on a stage every single night, and I'd be at The Comedy Store, and I'd see all these comics there, and they would stand. See, that was great about you. (sighs) You didn't stand there like a stick figure. You were all over the stage, you were performing. But when I came to The Comedy Store, even guy... Leno, great comics, Seinfeld, all great comics, but they'd stand there like, like, like they were in assembly class. And after five, six minutes, I'd get bored and walk outta the room. And when I would go back to Brooklyn, my mother, who was the one who had the look and the personality, it's where I get that, you know, that balls bigger than, you know, brass ball thing. And I would tell her about the comics, and I go, "About the only one that would move is Richard Lewis." You know, 'cause his whole act was about it's all a nightmare, and he would pace, and, a- he would just make me laugh my ass off. And I would tell her about all these comics, but I come from music. I come from drumming, singing, dancing, and my mother would say to me, "Well, what are you gonna do," you know? I go, "You know what, Ma? I'll just become the Elvis of comedy."

Narrator 20:42 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 20:42 I go, "That's who I loved," you know? That, that's my confidence. That was my true belief, my true statement. I said, "These guys, they're all okay," but I go, "Ma, if you..." You know that comics would always just be opening acts for singers. You know, and I didn't put much into that, you know? I didn't care about that. So if I'm gonna do this, if I'm gonna work on this at the same time I'm working on acting chops, just become the biggest the world has ever seen, you know? That's how I looked at it. It was that simple of a thought to me, you know?

Narrator 21:16 Well-

Andrew Dice Clay 21:16 And that, that's how it all began.

Narrator 21:17 Do you think that you made that happen with your mind? Like, do you ever wonder about that? Like, if you think-

Andrew Dice Clay 21:23 It's

Joe Rogan 21:23 ... about all the success you've had and even-

Narrator 21:24 I-

Joe Rogan 21:24 ... like, the downsides-

Andrew Dice Clay 21:26 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 21:26 ... do you ever wonder, like, how much of it you actually create with your mind?

Andrew Dice Clay 21:31 I believe that... And you have to use a realistic thought with anything you wanna do in life. You can't walk around saying, "I'm gonna become a neurosurgeon."

Narrator 21:44 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 21:45 You know? Do you know... What... Just by a, a chance, do you know Dr., uh, Rock Politano?

Narrator 21:51 No, I don't.

Andrew Dice Clay 21:52 He's my toe and heel guy-

Narrator 21:54 Oh.

Andrew Dice Clay 21:55 ... in New York. He said he gave you the book Street Smart.

Narrator 21:58 He might have.

Andrew Dice Clay 21:59 He's... Yeah.

Narrator 21:59 He might have.

Andrew Dice Clay 22:00 Yeah. He's great foot... I've been to foot doctors for eight years now. He's fixing my feet every month.

Narrator 22:05 I might have met him and forgot.

Andrew Dice Clay 22:06 Yeah, but... So, he said he, he gave you this book.

Narrator 22:09 Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 22:10 But any... Yeah. Well, I'm at doctors all the time. We'll get into that in a minute.

Narrator 22:13 What's wrong with your foot?

Andrew Dice Clay 22:14 But, um, I don't know. I didn't feel my toes for about eight years.

Narrator 22:20 Oh.

Andrew Dice Clay 22:20 And... Yeah.

Narrator 22:21 Nerve blockage?

Andrew Dice Clay 22:22 No. Now, see, he really did, uh, the, the number, like, checking out my feet-

Narrator 22:26 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 22:26 ... from every angle, every... And he goes, "You don't have..." See, this is what I do like about you. You have a thirst for knowledge, and your guests, you have everything from maniacs like me, to scientists, to doctors. I love that about you. You thirst for knowledge. But just the fact you know about nerve damage in the feet is impressive to me. So... But it wasn't the nerve damage. And he explained what it was under my toes, and now... He goes, "Your toes have been inflamed for eight years." He goes, "That's the problem."

Narrator 23:01 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 23:01 He goes, "This other idiot you went to that's telling you to stretch your toes, did it work?" So, uh, Politano... And I love that he's from Brooklyn, he's from Bensonhurst. Everybody in the office is from Brooklyn, and they're in New York. So, that's why there was even a conversation-

Narrator 23:17 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 23:17 ... 'cause I was there twice last week, and I said, "Yeah, I'm gonna do, uh, Joe Rogan," and he goes... I gave him my book Street Smart, 'cause he also wrote a book on Joe DiMaggio. He lived with him for 10 years.

Narrator 23:28 Oh, wow.

Andrew Dice Clay 23:28 He does sports, you know? That's what he's known for. So, so this guy's really helping me, and like... You know, it's funny. I'm in bed with my, my, my sugar plum that you met outside. And, you know, I should be thinking about having action, and I'm going, "Look how I can wiggle my toes. Look at that."

Narrator 23:51 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 23:51 You know? But she gets it, because she's gone through a lot with me since we've been together, and that's just one of the problems. But, but yeah, I love, you know, your thirst for knowledge, and I'm not looking to get away from The Data Laugh data. I'm gonna... I'll do something special with that. But when I... Oh, remember I said about a little beef with you?

Narrator 24:17 You had a beef with me?

Andrew Dice Clay 24:18 Yeah.

Narrator 24:19 What, what did I do wrong?

Andrew Dice Clay 24:22 Vincent.

Narrator 24:24 Jamie, it's Jamie.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:24 Jamie. Vincent fits you, though, if you think about it. I'm from Brooklyn. Jamie.

Joe Rogan 24:30 What's up?

Andrew Dice Clay 24:31 All right, so...... before I'm getting dressed today. And I can't even figure out, do I give him daytime dice, do I give him nighttime dice?

Joe Rogan 24:42 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 24:42 Do I do a Brooklyn sweatshir- uh, all the clothes I brought for this-

Joe Rogan 24:46 I like what you did.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:47 It's good.

Joe Rogan 24:47 You know?

Andrew Dice Clay 24:48 It's good. It works. It's the right look.

Joe Rogan 24:49 It's perfect.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:49 Right?

Joe Rogan 24:49 It's perfect. He nailed it.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:51 She's going, "Do you wanna wear the ADC?" She's very involved.

Joe Rogan 24:54 I understand.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:55 Uh, you spoke to her. You see how she is.

Joe Rogan 24:56 Yes. Lovely woman.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:57 She's, uh, she's got a corporate mind.

Joe Rogan 24:58 Very smart.

Andrew Dice Clay 24:59 I'm crazy about her, more than-

Joe Rogan 25:01 Congratulations.

Andrew Dice Clay 25:02 It's the love of my life. I'll say that on the air.

Joe Rogan 25:04 I believe you.

Andrew Dice Clay 25:05 I'm not even kidding. And, um, I mean, it's, it's actually the first girl. I got her during the pandemical, I got her.

Joe Rogan 25:12 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 25:13 You know, at the airport. And, um, I, I'll get into that later, but the point is, it's the only girl, since I'm 17, that I've ever lived with, we haven't had an argument in nearly four years. And that has not been my life, as you know.

Joe Rogan 25:29 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 25:30 So ... what, uh, the point I was making, I brought you up and I said, "You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to, to do this podcast right, I gotta tell Joe my feelings about the thing we were talking about last night." And I don't want him mad because I've always said, "The one person..." I've told this to so many comics. I go, "The one person you never wanna fuck with and get angry is Rogan." That includes me, you know? I go, "You can fuck with any comic. They're all insecure. They, they get scared if they see a fly." I go, "Don't fuck with Rogan, 'cause you're another guy that does the fucking." And she goes, "Well, are you gonna tell him this?" I go, "You know what? I owe it to myself, because if I don't tell him this, then I'm not the man I say I am." You know? The

Andrew Dice Clay 26:30 lion isn't the king, it's the tiger?

Joe Rogan 26:36 Yes. Tigers fuck up lions.

Andrew Dice Clay 26:39 Do you understand what you've done to me?

Joe Rogan 26:40 Yeah. They're bigger.

Andrew Dice Clay 26:42 No, but you, you don't get it.

Joe Rogan 26:44 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 26:44 My whole life, I've based off the lion being the king of the jungle. I have a gold lion with diamonds in it. I have a mat at my house-

Joe Rogan 26:54 Do you know why they're the king of the jungle?

Andrew Dice Clay 26:56 I saw it all explained, yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:58 Well, I'll tell you why, 'cause the tiger doesn't live there.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:01 No, but the point is, I see this whole thing with the tiger-

Joe Rogan 27:05 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 27:05 ... kicking the shit... Mike, I have, I have a production company named Brave Lion.

Joe Rogan 27:12 Lions are amazing.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:13 It's been my wh- no, but he's not the king anymore. He's a jerk-off animal with a good hairdo. That's all the lion is to me now.

Joe Rogan 27:20 They have a much better relationship, though, with the other lions.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:23 Yeah, but, uh-

Joe Rogan 27:23 The lion is the king. You know why? 'Cause the king doesn't necessarily have to be the baddest motherfucker. The king just has to be a real, like an alpha, dominant male of the pride.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:34 Yeah, but, uh-

Joe Rogan 27:34 But the, the ca- with cats, like, t- tigers are more solitary. They have a totally different kind of relationship.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:40 But I would've named him Brave Tiger.

Joe Rogan 27:42 Yeah, but the tiger-

Andrew Dice Clay 27:42 But do you understand-

Joe Rogan 27:42 ... he don't wanna be a tiger.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:43 This is-

Joe Rogan 27:43 He wanted to be a lion. Lions are more admirable.

Andrew Dice Clay 27:46 Well, my thing was with the lion, when the lion gets backed against the wall, his claws grow. And that's why he can beat the shit out of everybody. Like, when he feels cornered, like, he could take down a bear because of the, the, the claws, right?

Joe Rogan 28:00 No.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:01 No. I'm wrong about that, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:01 Well, they're just really good predators. They might not be able to take down a bear. Bear- bears are pretty fucking hu- huge-

Andrew Dice Clay 28:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:06 ... and ferocious-

Andrew Dice Clay 28:07 No, but I-

Joe Rogan 28:08 ... and very invulnerable. Their body is very thick.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:10 But I saw that, and I'm like, "Are you kidding me, here?"

Joe Rogan 28:13 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:13 You know?

Joe Rogan 28:13 Tigers would destroy a lion.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:15 Because your case is very strong.

Joe Rogan 28:17 The thing is, though, lions have a terrible existence in the end, 'cause the male lions d- they gang up on them and kill them.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:23 Yeah, and I heard it's the chick-

Joe Rogan 28:24 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:25 ... that kicks everybody's ass. It's the female.

Joe Rogan 28:27 Well, the chicks do all the hunting.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:28 But that's what I'm saying.

Joe Rogan 28:28 Female lions do all the hunting. Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:30 So basically, the guy sits around. He reads-

Joe Rogan 28:32 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:32 ... the newspaper, like he's, uh, worthless, you know?

Joe Rogan 28:34 All you- all the male does is protect his children from other males and protect the females from being bred by other males.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:41 Okay.

Joe Rogan 28:41 Because that's the whole game. The whole game is who controls the breeding. And then, the moment they ostracize the male, they take the alpha and they force him out, either they kill him or they gravely injure him, they kill all the babies, all of his babies, all of his boys.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:54 All right, so-

Joe Rogan 28:55 It's a rough neighborhood.

Andrew Dice Clay 28:57 So I don't, I don't have to change the name of the company?

Joe Rogan 29:00 No, no, no, lions are amazing.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:02 So the lion is the king-

Joe Rogan 29:03 They, they're more ma- they're more complicated.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:04 So you're saying-

Joe Rogan 29:04 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:04 ... the lion still is the king?

Joe Rogan 29:06 Yeah. Lions are the king and what tigers are, is just this ultra beautiful killing machine. That's what they are. They're a different thing.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:14 They, they don't have, like, the same nobility, the l- when the lion's sitting there over his pride and the females-

Andrew Dice Clay 29:19 It's-

Joe Rogan 29:20 ... are all out hunting, that's, that's a wild, that's an amazing creature.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:23 Yeah, that's how I looked at it.

Joe Rogan 29:24 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:24 And then I see the thing with the tiger.

Joe Rogan 29:26 Well-

Andrew Dice Clay 29:27 And, you know, for two days now, she's going, "Are you really gonna talk about this?"

Joe Rogan 29:31 (buzzing sound) (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 29:31 You know, "And you're gonna bring up the points, the, the, the, uh," yeah. "The pyramid thing?"

Joe Rogan 29:37 There's a, there's a balance to all of it.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:39 "The pyramid thing?"

Joe Rogan 29:40 Pyramids?

Andrew Dice Clay 29:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:41 Oh, okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 29:42 She goes, "You're really gonna bring that up?" And she goes, "You know how you are, you know, you're not that academic." And I go, and I go, yeah, I go, "I gotta admit," like, and you even probably know this, "you're never gonna find two Dice fans that are arguing over what college you think Dice went to."

Joe Rogan 30:02 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 30:03 You're never gonna find those fans. One of them-

Joe Rogan 30:05 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:05 ... might say something like, "Well, I heard he lived near a college." You know? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:09 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:09 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 30:10 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:11 So, but, you know, with the pyramid thing, why nort? Just on that.

Joe Rogan 30:16 What about the pyramid?

Andrew Dice Clay 30:17 Why nort?

Joe Rogan 30:19 Why nort? What's up with-

Andrew Dice Clay 30:20 No, nort, like-

Joe Rogan 30:22 North?

Andrew Dice Clay 30:22 You know how you s- uh, they point north-

Joe Rogan 30:25 North, south, east, and west. North, north.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:26 No, but there's a reason, like, they're north or something?

Joe Rogan 30:29 Well, the pyramid is, the way it's set on the Earth-... it, it is, it's, it points directly north, south, east, and west, apparently. Like the, like f-find out what the, the way the pyramid is aligned with the earth. There's also the height of the pyramid.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:49 There's like a lot of mathematics, but this is all like Randall Carlson stuff.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:52 Like with the eucalyptus and the world.

Joe Rogan 30:53 Yeah, the eucalyptus, yeah. (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 30:54 You know, with the-

Joe Rogan 30:55 The equator.

Andrew Dice Clay 30:55 ... with the width and everything.

Joe Rogan 30:57 Well, it's, it's also the three pyramids align with these certain stars in the sky and the Orion Belt. It's, there's a lot of complicated stuff with the pyramids.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:04 Yeah, because you really delve into this stuff. Now, delve is not an easy word.

Joe Rogan 31:10 Delve? (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 31:10 I'll just tell you that, Vincent. You know, delve is not an easy word.

Joe Rogan 31:14 It's hard to use and not sound pretentious.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:17 You know? I learned this.

Joe Rogan 31:18 Delve.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:18 You know? I figure... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:19 Yeah, there it is.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:19 No, but, but-

Joe Rogan 31:20 Okay, the Giza Pyramid, oriented to the face of the four cardinal directions, true north, south, east, and west. Their entrances are all on the north side, and the temple of the pyramids are on the east side. So, somehow or another, they aligned it to true north, south, east, and west. The 2,300,000 stones in the Great Pyramid of Giza, they don't know how they moved them there. They don't know how they put them there.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:40 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's that we really don't even know-

Joe Rogan 31:43 Yeah. I've been obsessed with that since I was a boy.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:45 And are you thinking aliens?

Joe Rogan 31:49 Um, I think more likely, there was a very advanced civilization and they got wiped out by some natural disaster.

Andrew Dice Clay 31:56 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 31:57 I think where, where we are right now, I think another civilization before us was maybe more evolved than us, or m-more advanced than us, just in a different way. And their way was these immense stone structures with, like, a lot of geological-

Andrew Dice Clay 32:11 Yeah, because there was nothing around. They had to bring them from somewhere.

Joe Rogan 32:14 Well, they brought them from...

Andrew Dice Clay 32:15 The stone.

Joe Rogan 32:15 They know the quarries where they brought them from, and some of them were 500 miles away.

Andrew Dice Clay 32:18 But how perfectly?

Joe Rogan 32:20 In-insane perfect. Just not, not just insane how smooth and cut they were, but supposedly those people didn't even have steel. Supposedly, they were working with copper tools. And also, the, the, the methods they used, there was some sort of diamond saws because there's, there's cuts in some of them that indicate a very high RPM drill-

Andrew Dice Clay 32:42 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 32:42 ... that they used. There's all these corings where it, it seems like, like the stone's been cored by these super sophisticated machinery that we don't understand today. We don't know what they used. We don't know where they got it. We don't know where it is now. We don't know what happened. I think Randall Carlson's explanation and Graham Hancock's explanations are the best. And those, what they talk about is that there was a verified 100% impact on Earth somewhere 11,800 years ago. And not just here, not just like in North America, but all over Europe, they find nano diamonds and they find, uh, evidence of iridium, which is very common in space and very rare on Earth. So they think that... Civilization got wiped out. So that's what I think the pyramids are. I think the pyramids are the best evidence of that insanely advanced civilization that existed 20,000 years ago, maybe even more.

Andrew Dice Clay 33:39 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 33:39 I think our, our timeline is fucked up. And Graham Hancock says it best, he said that we're a, "Civilization with amnesia." (clears throat) That's what I think. But maybe aliens too.

Andrew Dice Clay 33:48 Yeah, this is why I stick to comedy.

Joe Rogan 33:50 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 33:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:52 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 33:52 You know? It really is. But that's what I love about you that, you know, I, I actually feel like it's your thirst for learning and everything that has brought you to this level where you are today.

Joe Rogan 34:04 (clicks tongue) Well, it's definitely helped me a lot.

Andrew Dice Clay 34:06 You know?

Joe Rogan 34:06 Because the, all the people that I wanted to talk to, it's because I wanted to talk to them. It wasn't because like a publicist set it up and, and it, you know, like, looked, like, beneficial or something like that. Like all these, like weird scientists and archeologists and interesting people.

Andrew Dice Clay 34:20 Yeah, that's what's amazing about the show.

Joe Rogan 34:21 Yeah, yeah. It's just a bunch of-

Andrew Dice Clay 34:22 A- and on any given day, it could be a scientist, a doctor, uh, uh, a comedian, uh, uh-

Joe Rogan 34:29 (clears throat) Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 34:29 You know, that's w- why you're, you're sitting where you are right now. And I just, you know, I'm just giving you, uh, what's that word? That I'm just giving you kudos.

Joe Rogan 34:40 Thank you, sir. Appreciate it.

Andrew Dice Clay 34:41 You know, like I was really, like I was saying, just really proud when I, when I heard you made the deal and, you know, the whole thing, because I, I know what that feels like when you go from a level you thought that was it, to this whole other stratosphere. I knew what you were entering, and that's why I was texting you at the beginning, and even writing things to you like, "Don't just give away your money," because I know how it gets when you hit that level. I used to give away just... So I mean, bums would get $5,000.

Joe Rogan 35:17 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 35:18 I, I always, at that time, just carried... I'm not even... And if you're missing a limb, it was 10 grand. I'm not even kidding. And, uh, I remember being outside the Comedy Store, and there's a lady, you might have even seen her back then. She had two kids and, and the, you know, the shopping cart from Ralph's, whatever. And I'm just feeling bad going, "This woman doesn't even have a place to live." And I just take out five grand cash. I go, "Here, go get yourself a place to live." You know? Don't you think she was back the next night for another five grand?

Joe Rogan 35:51 Was she?

Andrew Dice Clay 35:52 Y- yeah. I, I couldn't believe it. But there was a, um, there was one guy I really felt bad for, a guy in... it was Chicago. And this isn't to say how good I am 'cause people go, "What charities are you involved?" I give money when I see people that need money. You know, I'm not saying I never gave to a charity, but I'm saying I don't need the bullshit of going, "Oh, what a good person. He's involved in this." He's a-

Joe Rogan 36:16 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 36:17 It's just not who I am.

Joe Rogan 36:18 There's a, there's a bit of a scam to that.

Andrew Dice Clay 36:19 Yeah, I, I give personally. So I saw a guy in the rain hopping around on one leg in crutches. I gave this guy 10 grand. I put it right in his pocket and I walked away. You know? Another guy chased me down the block in a wheelchair that I put five grand in his cup. Like, he realized like what I put (laughs) in his cup and he came... I go, "Just take it, brother. It's good, you know. Just let it be good for you." You know, that's the way I like to do things.

Joe Rogan 36:47 That's beautiful.

Andrew Dice Clay 36:47 But I would get hit up...... by every comic. I get calls for cars. "Oh, my wife's a little sick, can you see? I just need three grand." You know, they'd ask for thousands like it was nothing. So when you took off, I was like, "Just tell this guy, take care of your family." That's it. You know, I'm not saying never take care of a buddy if he's, you know, in dire straits, but I'm just saying everybody comes out of the woodwork and the level you went to and the press you got about it. Um, you know, I would tell my girlfriend and my sons, they go, "This guy's gonna be hit from all angles. I wanna see what this does to him." And you've kept it together incredible.

Joe Rogan 37:28 Thank you.

Andrew Dice Clay 37:28 You know, and another thing I'm looking forward to is I'll talk about the Comedy Store, but the, the Mothership. I hear it's just the greatest.

Joe Rogan 37:38 I can't wait to show it to you.

Andrew Dice Clay 37:40 I, I can't wait to be there because it's, you know, I, I know how much you love Mitzi and the store and you were... Didn't you, like, stop building it and just redo it 'cause you didn't like how it was going?

Joe Rogan 37:51 Well, not really. I started at a different place.

Andrew Dice Clay 37:54 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 37:54 I bought a different place and there was a problem with the building.

Andrew Dice Clay 37:57 Okay.

Joe Rogan 37:57 So I had to get another building.

Andrew Dice Clay 37:59 But I just hear from everybody, like, that it is just number one. Like, it's just the greatest club you could play. And that's why I'm excited. Can, can I even say I'm just doing the show? Like-

Joe Rogan 38:12 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 38:13 ... you know, I want people to know I'm not even... I don't want any money for it, I just wanna... You have been, you know, y- you've just been great about me. Like, I see all the episodes, like with Tarantino, with any comic that comes on (laughs) . I can even see the comics get aggravated 'cause they wanna talk about their own career.

Joe Rogan 38:32 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 38:32 And I'm not gonna say names, but I, I see them, you know.

Joe Rogan 38:35 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 38:35 And you're going, "No, but when Dice did it, it was a fucking explosion." He goes, "Yeah." And you'll say it, you'll go, "A lot of the comics today, they do arenas, but if Dice didn't did it, do it, we wouldn't be doing it."

Joe Rogan 38:50 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 38:50 And it was an explosion. And that's why I even gave him that, you know, clip of, uh, The Garden, which was filmed for a movie. And, um... But yeah, coming up, you know, at, at the store with... I'm gonna, uh-

Joe Rogan 39:05 Well, what was great for us was that you still came around. That, for us-

Andrew Dice Clay 39:10 I loved it.

Joe Rogan 39:10 ... for guys, but for guys like me who were just coming up, who could barely headline on the road, to be hanging out with you, that you would come and hang out with us, it was amazing.

Andrew Dice Clay 39:20 Well-

Joe Rogan 39:20 It was like, Dice is like a normal guy.

Andrew Dice Clay 39:22 But this is... Yeah, and I can be.

Joe Rogan 39:24 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 39:24 You know, but this is how smart you are. So I'm filming, this is even before Reality became Reality, and I never got it out there. So there's all these new comics at the store. Ari, you know, Bobby Lee, uh, uh, uh, uh, Maz Jobrani, Steve Rannazzisi, all these new comics that were... You know, like, I'm holding court. You know, 'cause they can't, they can't believe I'm over there. So I've been filming myself since I made it. All right, so I'm filming at the store every night, calling it The Show. Like, I'd be kicking waitresses out of the kitchen. I changed the lighting in the kitchen, I put, like, red and blue bulbs-

Joe Rogan 40:05 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 40:05 ... so the lighting wasn't harsh. You know, and a waitress could be in there getting an order, you know, and I go, "Uh, you're in my shot. You g- you gotta leave the kitchen." And it's amazing how I just filmed and filmed and filmed. And one night, you're looking and you got this puzzled look and I'm, like, in it, you know? And you come over to me and go, "Dice, uh, could I just ask you something? Um, what, what's with the camera?"

Joe Rogan 40:32 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 40:32 "I see you every night filming." Like, I'm in it, like, like I'm being Tarant- my own Tarantino.

Joe Rogan 40:37 Right?

Andrew Dice Clay 40:38 And I go, "No, I film everything. I've always filmed everything." And I don't know, it couldn't have been more than a few weeks, you had a guy with you. See, that's why you've made it in the business, 'cause you took it in and go, "Yeah, why shouldn't I film what I'm doing in my life?"

Joe Rogan 40:52 We definitely decided to film some... You, but you were doing, like, sketches.

Andrew Dice Clay 40:57 Yeah, but that-

Joe Rogan 40:58 You were, yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 40:58 No, I called it The Show.

Joe Rogan 40:59 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 40:59 It was a natural reality show, and I used to love, like, even Paulie would come in and go, "Dude, what are you filming?"

Joe Rogan 41:06 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 41:06 I go, "The Show." He goes, "What show, dude?" I go, "It's my show. It's a reality show with all the guys." You know, hysterical. I put clips up on my, on my phone all the time of-

Joe Rogan 41:20 What, like, what possesses you to do these videos where you just, like, walk up to people?

Andrew Dice Clay 41:27 Okay.

Joe Rogan 41:27 We're-

Andrew Dice Clay 41:27 Are we gonna show them now, the ones I sent?

Joe Rogan 41:29 Yeah, let's, let's show some of these videos-

Andrew Dice Clay 41:30 Okay, but don't show it yet.

Joe Rogan 41:31 ... 'cause they're insane. Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 41:31 Don't show it yet.

Joe Rogan 41:31 Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 41:32 There's a reason.

Joe Rogan 41:33 Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 41:33 Okay. Now-

Joe Rogan 41:34 It's the same thing that possessed you to do those videos back then?

Andrew Dice Clay 41:37 No, obviously this is different.

Joe Rogan 41:39 Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 41:39 Obviously you loved The Day The Laughter Died.

Joe Rogan 41:43 Yes.

Andrew Dice Clay 41:44 Okay? Now, I can't let you keep this, but I could let you wear it for a little-

Joe Rogan 41:50 What is it?

Andrew Dice Clay 41:50 ... 'cause you are wearing a hat. This is the hat I wore and there's even pictures I sent, uh-

Joe Rogan 41:55 Oh.

Andrew Dice Clay 41:55 ... Traps last night. Um-

Joe Rogan 41:57 I can wear it? Is that what you're saying?

Andrew Dice Clay 41:58 Yeah, I want... Uh, I want you to wear it a little.

Joe Rogan 42:01 Okay, I'll put it on real quick.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:01 Because this is the hat I wore and, uh, he's got pictures of me on stage at Dangerfield's-

Joe Rogan 42:06 Oh, nice.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:07 ... recording it. There we are. Okay?

Joe Rogan 42:10 That's a nice hat.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:11 You know.

Joe Rogan 42:13 Come on. What do you think? Bro, this hat smells terrible.

Narrator 42:20 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 42:20 What are you talking about?

Joe Rogan 42:21 It smells like cabbage.

Narrator 42:22 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 42:23 No, but I know you like it.

Joe Rogan 42:25 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 42:25 So I want you to wear it. Wait a minute. That's one of the hats.

Joe Rogan 42:32 It's good.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:32 Okay. 'Cause there were two hats. I did three nights.

Joe Rogan 42:35 Take a sniff of that hat.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:36 When?

Joe Rogan 42:36 For real.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:36 Really?

Joe Rogan 42:37 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:38 All right. You don't have to wear it. You wore it for-

Joe Rogan 42:40 (laughs) Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:40 If you wanna take a picture in it, he'll take a picture in it.

Joe Rogan 42:42 Okay. That hat is like cabbage.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:44 You know what I mean? You know?

Joe Rogan 42:44 It's awful.

Andrew Dice Clay 42:45 So a- anyway.

Joe Rogan 42:47 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 42:47 I do, you know, at the, the height of doing arenas... Because honestly, you know, I almost laugh at it today 'cause when I would go on sale, we put 20 shows on sale. Let's say it's... We go on sale Friday morning, 10 o'clock.... Monday, tickets are gone. Okay? Half a million tickets, gone. And then I go do the tours. But what I like, like you said how I like to hang at the store, even after I did the LA Forum, okay? Now, at the Forum, you had ... You know, number one, uh, at the end of my shows, this is the stuff people never really realize unless they've come to a Dice concert, the last 20 minutes to a half hour is all music, you know. And I'm not... I would do, I would do from Luther Vandross, Love Won't Let Me Wait. And you would think that's what I came there to see because I didn't send the clip of that, but the audience would explode when I would get to the bridge of the song. And, but I would do the Elvis stuff, you know, but I'd really do it. I think I sent them Elvis. Um, it, it, there's a ... We don't get to hear it?

Joe Rogan 43:59 Yeah, but you have one.

Narrator 44:00 That's all right, mama. That's all right with you.

Andrew Dice Clay 44:02 Oh.

Narrator 44:02 That's all right, mama, just any way you do. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right.

Joe Rogan 44:08 That's you?

Andrew Dice Clay 44:09 Of course.

Joe Rogan 44:10 That's amazing.

Narrator 44:12 Any way you do.

Joe Rogan 44:14 That's a pretty fucking good Elvis impression.

Narrator 44:16 Well, mama, she done told me. Papa done told me too. Someday-

Andrew Dice Clay 44:21 No, but the thing is-

Joe Rogan 44:22 That's a pretty fucking solid impression.

Andrew Dice Clay 44:23 No, but that's what I'm saying. See, nobody... When I would be... When they would write me up back then, you know, every journalist was after my ass. They would never write about this stuff. When I would do ... I would do the full on Grease Lightning. I had an eight-piece band. But when I did ... And I would also close with a giant drum solo to the Santana song, Soul Sacrifice. And when I did the Forum, besides my band, which were all Brooklyn guys, who's on stage with me doing Elvis and the Soul Sacrifice? Duff McKagan from Guns N' Roses and Slash. They came to rehearse. We did it. People went berserk. They're in my dressing room with Sly Stallone, with Cher. I think we got pic- ... Is that a drum one?

Narrator 45:14 It's hydromatic. Watch Grease Lightning. Grease Lightning. Wow. If you want to take a water cooler, baby. It's a full bar of fun for you. If you're injecting color through chrome-plated rods from here. With full speed ahead-

Joe Rogan 45:31 (laughs) You gotta see the dance.

Narrator 45:33 ... and nothing fall. You know that ain't no shit. You'll be getting like this when you do slide. Go on, slide me. You're burning up the quarter mile.

Joe Rogan 45:43 Did you like doing this more than the standup?

Andrew Dice Clay 45:45 100%.

Joe Rogan 45:46 Really? You can kinda tell.

Andrew Dice Clay 45:48 Because I get to entertain.

Narrator 45:52 If you want to take some pretty woman home. Do the slide. Go, go, go, go.

Joe Rogan 45:53 Yeah, watch him. Look at you go. (laughs)

Narrator 46:16 Go on, slide me. You're burning up the quarter mile.

Joe Rogan 46:20 So you were upset that they never brought this stuff up.

Andrew Dice Clay 46:22 They would never write it up. You know, they just made like it was an hour of just foul language, and that was it. And my father used to get crazy from it because he's the one... He was behind me from day one, you know. And (laughs) he had ... At th- My father went from having a, a toy store to being a big builder. Like, in, in Staten Island, he was the first builder to go into Staten Island and build like the newer homes. And we lived there from the ... I was seven til I was 12. And we basically got chased outta ... Well, he got chased outta there. You know, he knew he had to leave because he wasn't a gangster. So ... And the gangsters were taking over Staten Island. They would just... They would build their houses across the freeway. They, there was no zoning laws. So we went to Florida for like six months and then back to Brooklyn, you know, from 13 to 21, and then I was out in LA doing the Travolta act. That's how it started, me doing Travolta, which I gave you pictures, even me holding up how closely we look the same. You know, it was a whole Travolta act. And even the way that started, you know, was, um ... You know, I saw Travo- I was always able to do ... (laughs) This is what-

Joe Rogan 47:40 That's pretty close.

Andrew Dice Clay 47:41 Wait, show the other one where I'm greased up. Is there another one?

Narrator 47:46 Probably, maybe. I don't know. There.

Andrew Dice Clay 47:50 Oh, je- Yeah. There. Um, that's my ...

Joe Rogan 47:52 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 47:52 I'm doing my first interview. So I'm working for my father on Court Street now. He has a process serving agency. And that's how I would walk around 'cause once I got into it, I became it. So I'm picking up summonses from attorneys walking in as that guy.

Joe Rogan 48:11 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 48:11 And I'm doing Travolta. I'm going, "Yeah, you have some summonses for royal process serving?"

Joe Rogan 48:17 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 48:17 You know, and ... You know, I'm doing Vinnie Barberto. (laughs) "Listen to this. You're gonna die. I swear, you're gonna crack up," right?

Joe Rogan 48:23 And this was when that was on the air?

Andrew Dice Clay 48:24 This is... No. Yes, yes. And this is after Fever hit. The, the way I got... Can I take these off now?

Joe Rogan 48:29 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 48:30 So the way I got into it ... So since I was in high school, when Travolta hit with Barbarino, I realized I could do like the perfect Barbarino. But what am I gonna do with it other than entertaining high school kids? Now he comes out with Fever, and he dances. Great. But the night I saw Grease was the night my life changed. And there was no videos back then. You, you understand? So I'm coming home, and I'm like, "If I could turn-"... from an impression I'm doing since I'm a kid, seven years old, Jerry Lewis, nutty professor who would turn into Buddy Love. But if I could turn into Travolta from, from Professor Kelp, it would just kill as an act. Only, I w- I never do anything fake so I had to be able to sing as Travolta doing Grease Lightning, as you saw live. So I go to a studio in Brooklyn where, 'cause I kn- that's what I would do. I would drum, sing but, so I knew about, you know, where bands would go to, to record albums. So I went to a studio on Kings Highway in Brooklyn called Fly Studios, and I bring the Fever album and I bring Grease. And I ask these guys, "Can you get the lead vocal out of Grease Lightning?" 'Cause I'm not gonna do it fake. If I can't sound like him, I'm not doing the act. They got it out. I rehearsed for three weeks doing this act that these two guys, and I know it sounds like one of my old jokes, "What are your names, Neil and Bob? Is that, like, what you do?" You know, that was a heckler line. Right. But the guys that owned the studio's names were Neil and Bob. (laughs) Okay. So these guys are watching me, you know. I'm in the part where you could record and they're working, you know, the whole, you know, the, the board. And I come out of the bathroom looking like Jerry Lewis, the nutty professor. I'm like talking to the mirror, "Actually, uh, actually I'm a pity, ladies and gentlemen and I, I have my magic formula." And I'd take the formula and I'd say, "Okay, hit the music." There was an intro and I'd be in the dark, rip off the Jerry Lewis stuff, and now I'm Travolta from Grease. And I did that act at Pips in Brooklyn, which I think you got a picture of the owner with Rodney Dangerfield outside the club. Um, so I, I go to Pips on audition night and I come up as Jerry Lewis and I got my whole family there. My mother, my father, my sister and, 'cause I'm telling, "Don't forget, come to Pips." But what, what was amazing, when I put the act together, I had to sit in the theater all day and watch Grease with a pad like this and write down names for the moves Travolta was doing, or else I'd forget when I would rehearse the act that you were seeing. That, the guy in the middle, his name is George Schultz, you know, and Pips was the first real comedy club in America. Really? And it spawned Rodney. What year was that? Uh, I don't know what year they opened. I think he opened in the '60s and he, George himself should've been a comic. He just wasn't, okay? But he gave Rodney the line, "I don't get no respect." At least- Ah. Yeah. And he helped different guy- David Brenna every time he was gonna do- '62, holy shit. Yeah. And that- '62. It was a sushi place. So when- Mambo Sushi, look at that. Yeah. And he turned it into Pips. Wow. David Brenna. Wow. Any time Brenna was gonna do the Carson Show, George would help him with his set. So when the business wasn't doing well, Brenna would give them all kinds of money to survive, and the two sons ran the club. So I show up there. My parents are there. Now picture your parents, now you, your own parents watching Joe go on stage doing an impression he was doing at five. Going, "Really? This is why we're here?" Boo. And I'm on stage, I'm still 20 years old doing the Jerry Lewis, "Actually, ladies..." And, and it's a Brooklyn crowd just booing the fuck... "Get the fuck off! You fucking suck!" And I'm just committed. I go, "I have put together a formula." .......................... Like, okay. (coughs) I take the formula, um, Seth Schultz knew, shut the lights. I turn my back to the crowd. They're sc- they're screaming. You got 100 people, 99 people screaming to get outta the, off the stage. I'm slicking my hair back. I'm staying calm. Music starts. It's from Fever. "Ladies and gent-" To, uh, Disco Inferno, "Ladies and gentlemen, somebody new, somebody exciting and da da... Ladies and gentlemen, Andrew Clay." And I turn around with that, that, when you saw me in the leather jacket, that look, and I just pose and I start, like, a fake walk like Travolta in Fever, and they're starting to scream. Now it's turning. I wait 'cause I always wait. (laughs) Even to this day when I'm on stage I just wait. And, um, so I wait til it quiets down and I come up to the mic and I'm like, "Duh, huh, huh. So you thought it couldn't be done, right?" The place went nuts. Now I talk about the car. Here comes Grease Lightning. When I did Grease Lightning, you're talking about Brooklyn animals, and I know you know about that stuff 'cause you're from Boston. You know what kind of a- East Coast people. Yeah. They were throwing tables over. They're going fucking berserk. I don't even know what just happened. And as I'm leaving with my family, here come the two sons going, "Wait a minute, where you going?" You know. "Who are you?" Like, "What is that?" You know. They go, "We, we, y- you got a manager?" You know. And I just look at my father and I go, "Yeah, he's right here." And e- my family is stunned from what they just witnessed and they go, "Um, we wanna book your son to headline this coming weekend."... you know.

Joe Rogan 55:12 What?

Andrew Dice Clay 55:13 And I go-

Joe Rogan 55:14 First time on stage?

Andrew Dice Clay 55:15 First time on stage. And, and it, I said, "What you saw tonight, that's, that's the whole act." They go, "Just do what you did tonight. Just do that." And they go, "It's not a lot of money. It's $50." I go, "You think I care ab- uh, we don't, we don't care about the money." Like, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And then we went to a diner i- in Sheepshead Bay and nobody could even talk for, like, 10 minutes.

Joe Rogan 55:41 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 55:41 And then my mother's like, "Andrew, when did you think of this?" You know?

Joe Rogan 55:48 (laughs) .

Andrew Dice Clay 55:48 It was so great. And then everybody starts talking about what just happened. I was shell-shocked 'cause I'm not thinking they're gonna go nuts. I, I thought it was a clever idea, you know? And it built from there and within six months I'm doing my own shows where my father's selling tickets at Dangerfield's. You know-

Joe Rogan 56:10 What year was this?

Andrew Dice Clay 56:11 Uh, this is 1978. The first time on stage was September 13th '78.

Joe Rogan 56:17 So you really hit about, like, eight years later.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:21 10.

Joe Rogan 56:21 10 years.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:21 February 13th '88, Rodney Special.

Joe Rogan 56:25 Oh. When did your cassette come out then?

Andrew Dice Clay 56:29 No, well, Rick Rubin met me-

Joe Rogan 56:30 The first. When was, like, the first one?

Andrew Dice Clay 56:33 No, you're talking about the Black Album, Dice.

Joe Rogan 56:35 Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:36 Yes. That came out right about the same time the Rodney Special aired, okay?

Joe Rogan 56:42 Okay.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:42 See, I was at the Laugh Factory when it was just an 80 seat room-

Joe Rogan 56:48 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:48 ... before he opened up.

Joe Rogan 56:49 Okay, I must've been 21 then. I thought I was 19.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:51 Yeah, see?

Joe Rogan 56:52 I got a screwed up memory.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:53 Okay. And...

Joe Rogan 56:55 That makes sense actually-

Andrew Dice Clay 56:56 And so-

Joe Rogan 56:56 ... now I think about the girl.

Andrew Dice Clay 56:57 ... between sets I went over to Greenblatt's to get a cup of coffee and I'm with this screenplay writer. Uh, his name was Mark... I forgot his last name actually. Sorry. Sorry, Mark. Anyway, we're getting coffee and here comes this guy. You know Rick Rubin with the beard, the whole look? And he's with this little, like, heavyset guy. And oh, man, here comes some asshole, you know. And, um, he goes, "Yeah, can I, can I..." You know, he's soft-spoken. "Can I speak with you a minute?" And I, I do have a Brooklyn attitude, I'll admit it, you know? And I go, "Yeah, what, yeah, what can I do for you, pal? I gotta do another show," you know? And then the guy, Mark, that's with me goes, "Aren't you Rick Rubin?" And I'm looking at him and going, "Who's Rick?" He goes, "He basically created rap." And Rick goes, "Yeah, I, uh, I wanna do an album with you and I don't wanna bother you. I'm gonna go next door and watch the second show." You know, 'cause I had to do another show. And that's how me and Rick met and we wound up doing five albums together.

Joe Rogan 58:02 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 58:03 You know, and we were a great team together. I mean, you know, he's Rick Rubin. And I mean, sometimes we would disagree but te- you can't get Rick mad. He's-

Joe Rogan 58:16 He's an interesting cat.

Andrew Dice Clay 58:17 Well-

Joe Rogan 58:18 Very different human being, right?

Andrew Dice Clay 58:20 Oh, it, it just, you know... I said to Rick one time, you know, when, when Dice Rules that, where I do Greased Lightening, that was Dice Rules the album, okay? Besides the movie. And, um, I go, "Did they..." Yeah, I, I was at West- Westwood 1 radio, something like that. And on the way back, uh, you know, I say to Rick, I go, "Did they put up all the posters like you said they were gonna do?" You know? And he goes, "I suppose." And I'm looking at him. I go, "You're the boss. Uh, uh, don't you know?" He goes, "Well, I told them to put it up."

Joe Rogan 59:00 Dude.

Andrew Dice Clay 59:01 That's like... Yeah, like, you can't get... Even if he didn't like something on an album and, you know, I could get heated, you know? I, I'm, I'm that kind of personality. I'm like, "I don't give a fuck. It's not your fucking album." "Well, then I suppose you'll do what you like."

Joe Rogan 59:18 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 59:19 I'm like, "Don't you ever get mad? Didn't you ever have a fight?" And he goes, "Actually, I never had a fight."

Joe Rogan 59:26 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 59:26 I go, "You never got to punch in the face?" I go, he goes, "No." I go, "Well, you're about to-"

Joe Rogan 59:32 Dude.

Andrew Dice Clay 59:32 "... if you don't just get mad at me at least. Like, yell at me." But great guy, and we had great experience. So when it came to The Day Laughter Died, so me and Rick put out hit albums. And this is right, like, I think after Dice Rules. These are high-powered comedy albums to sell millions of copies. So this you'll like. Mitzi's involved in this. This is great. So, um, me and Rick are talking and I go, "You know, you know how much I love going on late at night and just, you know, no reaction," 'cause that's how my career got made. I was always, like, one of the last few acts at night at the Comedy Store. You know, 'cause of the kind of stuff I did. So there's, you know, people sitting quiet. You got a drunk in the front with his head on the table, and you got four people that are just too tired to leave. You've had those sets.

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 Oh, yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:00:27 You know? And I go, "I wanna do, like, the ultimate late night set." You know? And s- he sorta had the same thought process. Like, we just go unsuspecting crowd. You know, and this is, like you would say, at the height of doing the arenas, what, uh, you know, craziness surrounded me at that time. It was like the Lady Gaga of standup comedy, you know? And now I just wanna go up in front of a few people with no notes, with no idea of what the album's gonna be. And we, what, we do three nights at Dangerfield's and it winds up the double CD The Day the Laughter Died. Okay-... and I'm just loving it, you know. The silence-

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:01:19 ... the smoke. You could hear me smoke.

Joe Rogan 1:01:21 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:01:22 You know, people walking out, you know. We, and we didn't cut any of it, you know. Like I said, "Keep it in there," you know. It's great, you know. I really got angry, you know, at this family that came in. See, this'll lead to, could set me up for Saturday Night Live to tell you stuff, but... So th- this family comes in, these real fucking out-of-towners from, I don't know, Midwest, Bible Belt, you know, whatever they were, but they were all wearing the same coat and the same hat with the, with the bow on top. Two daughters, mother, father, and they're sitting in the front and the more I got into them, the more the father laughed, and I got angry at that 'cause I'm going, "This guy..." I would imagine in my mind that this guy really looks to fuck around with his daughters. They were old enough, you know. They were like... I don't remember the ages, but I don't know, young 20s, late teens. And I'm going, "Why is this motherfucker laughing when I'm doing this instead of going, like, cut it out?" 'Cause I know if I was sitting there with my two daughters and some comic, some asshole on stage is going, "So you like to have her on your lap?" or whatever I said on the album, you know, I'd look at the guy and go, "Walk away from me and my family," or "There's a problem," you know. That's how I would get. This guy's laughing and I'm angry about it.

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:02:55 You know? So the more he would laugh, the more I would go after this motherfucker. But there's also no laughs. That's the part I did enjoy. The actual silence of the room or somebody walking out and yelling... What's that? There's a famous one line on that where-

Joe Rogan 1:03:13 You're about as funny as a glass of milk.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:03:15 You know the album better than me-

Joe Rogan 1:03:16 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:03:17 ... which is ridiculous. Why would you know? That's it.

Joe Rogan 1:03:20 I love that album.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:03:22 That-

Joe Rogan 1:03:22 Let me tell you how I found out about that album. There's a great comic in Boston named Mike Donovan. Mike Donovan got the album-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:03:28 I know that name. I don't know Mike.

Joe Rogan 1:03:29 And you know, he's a very funny comic, very good guy, and he was a great guy when I was an open mic-er, would give you real good advice. He was the first guy to tell me, "Take a tape recorder on stage." He goes, "Sometimes you say things, you forgot what you said. Like, sometimes you said it in a different way and it's much better. You gotta listen to your recordings." Mike Donovan got ahold of your CD and he was in the back room of the fucking Comedy Connection, howling laughing-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:03:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:55 ... at you doing Nix- "I'll do Nixon in that ass." (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:03:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 And, and that to him was like one of the funniest fucking things. This guy was, he was laughing so hard. He was like, "He's a fucking psycho. He's out there bombing. He doesn't give a fuck. There's no laughs and it's hilarious. It's so ridiculous." This guy loved it. And, and I went out and got it. And I remember, you know, at the time, I was real young in comedy-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:04:21 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:22 ... and for, like for me, the idea of wanting this out there didn't even make any sense. Like, why would he do this? (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:04:28 You don't know how much that means to me. See, that's what I lo- like to hear, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 You know, it was, it was amazing to me because people try to pigeonhole you as this one-dimensional thing, and that is, that you're, you're missing the beauty of what he does. I always tell people this. I go from the... First of all, he's the first guy ever in standup that people knew the jokes and wanted to say the punchline along with him.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:01 (laughs) It was craziness.

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 It became a different thing. I go, "You have to understand, he cracked a code."

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:06 Well, that-

Joe Rogan 1:05:06 This rhyme thing, what you did was, it was comedy plus. Like, it was another level of enjoyment.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:14 And to this day, if I don't close my shows with the poems-

Joe Rogan 1:05:17 Oh, you have to.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:18 ... the audience complains.

Joe Rogan 1:05:19 No, I think you have to.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:20 You know.

Joe Rogan 1:05:20 But there's... It was-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:22 It-

Joe Rogan 1:05:22 ... a different thing and pe-... And then the fact that in the height of your stardom you chose to do The Day The Laughter Died. I'm like, "Do you not understand what he's doing? This is beautiful-"

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:33 Well-

Joe Rogan 1:05:33 "... performance art."

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:34 Well, also to me-

Joe Rogan 1:05:35 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:35 ... it's a, a, a, like you said perfor-... It's an acting piece.

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:39 It was always about the acting. Always.

Joe Rogan 1:05:42 I got to see you do a fucking who knows how many sets late at night unannounced you would just show up and start insulting people in the audience. (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:55 You would choose a person, you would tell them not to laugh.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:05:57 Well, you would call it, I remember what you, you would call it Dice Mean.

Joe Rogan 1:06:00 Yeah, Dice... Oh no, it's Dice Mean. (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:03 Dice Mean. But let me tell you what happened. The backlash of The Day The Laughter Died... So the first one... All right, so Sandy Gallin was the manager.

Joe Rogan 1:06:11 Yes.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:11 David Geffen put out the albums. Rick produced them and, uh, Barry Diller ran Fox Studios. That's where I had my movie deal.

Joe Rogan 1:06:20 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:21 So I get called into David Geffen's office and he goes... You know, and I, and I'm with Rick and he's like, "Okay, can you explain this to me?" You know. And I go, "What, what needs to be said?" He goes, "There's no people."

Joe Rogan 1:06:36 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:38 "There's... You know, there's, there's nothing."

Joe Rogan 1:06:40 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:40 "It's, it's, it's terrible." You know?

Joe Rogan 1:06:42 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:42 You know? And I go-

Joe Rogan 1:06:44 Uh...

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:44 ... "Yeah," and Rick is laughing.

Joe Rogan 1:06:46 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:46 'Cause Rick does have a great sense of humor, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:06:48 Well, Rick loved it.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:49 Oh, he loved it.

Joe Rogan 1:06:50 He loved it. He loves chaos.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:51 He loves it.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:06:52 So I go, "No, but y-... Do you understand? It's, it's never been and I'm the first." I go, "That's what I like being." Like, that's why I do brag about being the first arena comic. You know, like, you know, when I think back to my idols like Elvis Presley, you know. Now everybody's into Elvis all these years later, you know, and Elvis fans from way back are always Elvis fans. But when I saw the '68 Comeback Special at 12, once again, I'm there with my mother going, "I can be that."

Joe Rogan 1:07:24 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:07:24 Now, I wasn't thinking singer-

Joe Rogan 1:07:26 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:07:26 ... or comic. Just-

Joe Rogan 1:07:27 That famous.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:07:28 ... the whole image.... you know. And as I grew up, she bought me a leather the next day, a fake leather that was-

Joe Rogan 1:07:35 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:07:35 ... five times too big at JCPenney for $20.

Joe Rogan 1:07:38 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:07:39 You know, 'cause I begged her for it. But she would, she would encourage, you know. So now I'm on the couch doing Elvis, not even knowing how to play the guitar I had.

Joe Rogan 1:07:48 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:07:49 You know, so his image was so bigger than life, and I took it in a lot different than other people because in comedy, why would I... 'Cause of the drums and the singing, I go, "Just become the Elvis of comedy." Comedy is self-deprecating, which in, in today, at 65 years old, I am self-deprecating on stage, and I got a lot to be self-deprecating about. But when I was 25, 30 years old, there was no self-deprecation, you know. That was the difference between Dice and the other comics. And Mitzi, herself, told me, when I stopped doing the Travolta act and started doing Dice, she said, "It's never gonna work." And I go, "Yeah, why is that?" And she goes, "Number one, it's too tough, and it's not self-deprecating." I go, "Just leave me at the Westwood Comedy Store. Let me worry about it." And Mitzi loved me from the first day she met me. When I came down what I call the runway walk from Westwood, she called, I wanted... I auditioned at the store, did a 28-minute audition, and this, uh, emcee starts screaming at me when I come off the stage. I didn't know he's- who he was, and he goes, "You're never gonna play this fucking club again, listen." I go, "Are you the owner?" 'Cause I'm 21, so I'm a b- I'm a 21-year-old Brooklynite who doesn't give a fu-... If you're in my way, I'm gonna get you out of my way. So I said, "Are you the owner of the club?" And he goes, "No." I go, "Well, I didn't come 3,000 miles to do three minutes, so get out of my way." I get a call from The Comedy Store, I was staying with a friend, "You're playing Westwood tonight. You gotta come sign papers at The Comedy Store." So I go to Westwood, there was a lady there from Brooklyn, Adele. After my set, she goes, "Mitzi wants to meet you." So, this is, I got signed as a regular first night. Okay, 'cause I did that whole Travolta act, and by then it's Stallone, I'm doing Sly as Rocky in it. And, um, so I come to the store and she's standing with August and Ollie Joel a- and Allen Stevens, who I'm great friends with today. And, you know, just all... Biff Maynard, uh, I don't even think you met some of these guys by the time, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:10:08 I've met Allen.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:10:08 Okay, well Allen's around. Allen's great, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:10:11 He was always around back then.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:10:12 And, uh, I love Allen. And, uh, he's one of my best friends actually. And, so-

Joe Rogan 1:10:16 He worked on Roseanne's show too, right?

Andrew Dice Clay 1:10:18 Yeah, he produced Roseanne, he produced Arliss.

Joe Rogan 1:10:21 Mm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:10:21 You know, he's got a heavy history, you know.

Joe Rogan 1:10:23 Arliss too?

Andrew Dice Clay 1:10:24 He was out with, uh, Kenison and The Outlaws.

Joe Rogan 1:10:26 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:10:26 He did all that, you know. Well, a great comic, you know, on top of great producer and writer. So, so Mitzi's with all these guys, you know. I didn't know... I'm in comedy for, I don't know, eight months. I started September 13th, se- '78. I'm in LA February of '79. Why? Because this one comic, who you knew, Mitchell Walters, came back to Brooklyn, that's where he was from, and he happened to come in on a weekend I was headlining. And he's asking, "Who the fuck is this guy doing the Travolta?" And the owners told him, so he talks to my father. He keeps calling my father in the office, who I was working for, you know, 'cause there was no job I could have. I was at clubs every night. From the first night I got on stage, that was it, I'm performing every night everywhere. And I, I just dedicated my life to it, and that's what it takes, as you know, you know. I love when Pitbull says that, "How did I get lucky? Hard work got me lucky."

Joe Rogan 1:11:34 Mm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:11:34 That's all it's about, hard work and belief a- and knowing what you have inside to give.

Joe Rogan 1:11:40 Do you think it was, like, weird friction? Because, like, there's some guys that think that comedy has to come from the same group of people, like it has to come from neurotic, self-deprecating. Like, it has to come from these sort of nerds who are, like, bullied by society and they're funny on stage. And they could tell you what the fuck is going on. When a guy who comes along like you, who's very confident, you're a big guy, you didn't come from a theater background, and you have this new approach to it. And even Mitzi missed it. Like, sometimes people-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:15 Well, at that point she missed it-

Joe Rogan 1:12:17 But... Yeah, but-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:17 ... you know.

Joe Rogan 1:12:17 ... like there's people that do things and you're like, "Man, I don't know."

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:22 Because when you-

Joe Rogan 1:12:23 But you gotta give it, like... H- uh, um, try to explain Harland Williams to someone.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:12:29 Try to explain Harland. It's impossible.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:31 I get it. I get it.

Joe Rogan 1:12:31 He's fucking hilarious, but it's so strange. Like, his style is so strange, but coming out of him, with his personality-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:41 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:12:41 ... the way he says things-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:42 Hilarious.

Joe Rogan 1:12:43 It's hilarious. It's really fun. If you get the chance to see Harland-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:46 I've seen him.

Joe Rogan 1:12:46 Harland Williams is the fucking man, I mean, I mean, but the people out there listening, go, go see that guy. He's, he's amazing. But-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:52 But the-

Joe Rogan 1:12:52 You c-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:53 But-

Joe Rogan 1:12:53 You had, he had to become that guy, he had to figure that out.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:12:56 Yeah, see, and I... You know, some people go through their whole life never knowing who they are. They're not comfortable in their... Like Eleanor would say, not comfortable in their own skin.

Joe Rogan 1:13:08 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:08 You know, I always knew who I was. Now, you know, when people say to me, you know, "Who's Dice? Who's Andrew? Who's..." I'm all of it, you know, but, you know, I'm not walking around in the street going, "Yeah." You know, when you see those videos, I'm going, "Yeah, how you doing?" That's a put on.

Joe Rogan 1:13:29 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:29 That's a joke.... if I'm really gonna say hello to a girl, which I haven't in four years obviously, you know, I'm gonna go, "Yeah, how you doing?"

Joe Rogan 1:13:38 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:38 Not, "How you doing?"

Joe Rogan 1:13:39 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:40 'Cause any girl in her right mind is gonna go, "Get the fuck away from me."

Joe Rogan 1:13:44 (laughs) And if they don't-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:44 "I'm calling my four brothers. Get the fuck-"

Joe Rogan 1:13:45 ... if they don't, it's a real problem.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:47 You know, so, so, and I, and I do wanna get into the videos, but just let me finish The Day After Laugh Died thing.

Joe Rogan 1:13:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:13:53 So, when David Geffen says to me, see, what I always prided myself on, because I became, even though I wanted the acting career, I had two careers going now. I was building as a comic. Actually, Dallas was the first place I headlined as a comic, uh, in the, in the mid-80s at a place called the, uh, uh, I forgot the name of the place. Don't even fucking matter. It was a club. You do two, two weeks at a clip. And I s- I just started headlining, you know, by the time I was, I don't know, 24, 25. And the thing was, yeah, Mitzi didn't understand it at that point, 'cause she knew comics with... Think of all time, think of, think of, uh, what the fuck, his face, homely as a plate full of assholes. What was his name?

Joe Rogan 1:14:41 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:14:41 Uh, uh, (laughs) no, uh, uh, not, not Don Rickles, who also wasn't a gorgeous guy, but my favorite of all time. Um, he came from that time. He looked like Gates. Um, Hackett, Buddy Hackett.

Joe Rogan 1:14:57 Buddy Hackett.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:14:57 Think of Buddy's-

Joe Rogan 1:14:58 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:14:58 ... fucking face.

Joe Rogan 1:14:59 Yeah. (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:15:00 You think that guy's gonna be confident?

Joe Rogan 1:15:02 Right.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:15:03 He knows what he looks like, so he's gonna be self-deprecating. And that's how comics would get laid back there, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:15:10 Uh-huh.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:15:10 ... in those times. They weren't good-looking people. Today, you got better looking people.

Joe Rogan 1:15:16 But Lenny Bruce was a good-looking guy.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:15:17 Yeah, I, yeah, which his mother said to me. That was a big compliment, 'cause I'm with Mitzi, and Mitzi would say to Sally, 'cause I used to sit with Sally at Schwab's, you know, and she'd always go, "Oh, you're handsome like my Lenny."

Joe Rogan 1:15:31 Wow.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:15:31 It was a compliment, 'cause I knew he was a nice-looking guy. And Mitzi would say to Sally, she'd go, "He's a movie star. He's not even a comic," you know. She never had that. The, all those comics back then, just look at 'em. Look at the-

Joe Rogan 1:15:45 Hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:15:45 ... pictures on the wall at The Comedy Store and you'll know, but just to get back to The Day After Laugh Died, 'cause people are listening, um, so Geffen tells me, "Why? Why does this have to be? Why can't we just trash this?" And I go, "'Cause it's never been done. Every comic gets recorded. They do their very, very best to kill. I did my best to bomb."

Joe Rogan 1:16:11 Dude.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:16:12 You know, I just wanted to see what I could come up with in front of a couple people." He goes, "But why a double album? Why can't it just be a s-"

Joe Rogan 1:16:20 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:16:20 I go, "Same reason. Never done," okay?

Joe Rogan 1:16:24 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:16:24 And Mitzi, by the way, would come to the arenas with me when I did the Forum. I'd pick her up in the limo. She'd fly to New York. She was at the Garden. She was at the Meadowlands-

Joe Rogan 1:16:34 Oh, awesome.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:16:34 ... which sold out at that time.

Joe Rogan 1:16:36 That's awesome.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:16:36 Meadowlands, biggest arena ever, 21,500, sold out in 40 minutes.

Joe Rogan 1:16:42 Wow.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:16:42 That my, my agent, Dennis Offer, at that time, who the only other comic he's ever handled was Rodney, and I'd been with him and Pete Pappalardo for 35 years, okay, my whole career. And when Dennis saw me do the Rodney special, um, he came over to me. He goes, "I've seen every comic. I come to every one of Rodney's specials. I never wanted any of them. I want you." And I, I'd been with him all this time. And, uh, so I'll tell you the rise to the arenas. But, so Mitzi comes over my house. I'm just trying to keep my place here for you. After the David Geffen experience, okay, and she goes, "I wanna hear this album. I'm hearing things about it," you know, and it's not out yet, you know. So I, I put on a CD, and she's listening. You know Mitzi. She's always truthful, you know, tells you how she thinks. And she goes, "Andrew, what is this?" I go, and I want to laugh in her face but I gotta keep it str- I go, "Uh, it's my new album. What do you think?" She goes, "It's gonna ruin your career." I go, "This?" Um, "I don't think so. Just like you told me about Dice would never work, you know, it's not gonna ruin the career." I go, "I don't want..." She goes, "I don't wanna see your career. You worked so hard to get the..." I go, "Don't worry about it." Bottom line, album comes out, four days, gold.

Joe Rogan 1:18:19 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:18:19 I don't even know how many platinums it is to this day.

Joe Rogan 1:18:22 (laughs)

Andrew Dice Clay 1:18:22 It's the biggest selling comedy album ever, as far as I know, okay? The biggest comedy, and for comics, it's like a bible for some fucking reason. See, I don't see what you see. I just know I like being a guy that, that did things first. See, that's what I loved about Elvis. When Elvis came along, there was nobody for him to talk to, to go, "How do I handle being Elvis?" You know?

Joe Rogan 1:18:50 Yeah, but you understand like the, the, the, just the ability to put out something of you bombing in the height of your stardom. Do you know how nuts that is? Like, it's really hilarious. I know you just did it 'cause you wanted to be first, but it's just-

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:04 Well, no, but I also know how-

Joe Rogan 1:19:05 ... what you're doing is so crazy.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:06 ... so different.

Joe Rogan 1:19:07 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:07 So different. Yeah, I could go into a club or an arena-

Joe Rogan 1:19:10 I, I think if the internet was around back then, people would've understood it. They would've gotten into it. I think back then, it was so hard because all you had was like, MTV or VH1.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:22 Exactly. And think of that.

Joe Rogan 1:19:23 Just that the narratives were weird.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:24 Think of the fact that you don't have internet, and in less than a week, it's a half a million sold.

Joe Rogan 1:19:30 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:30 It was selling faster than like, Eminem albums when, when he came out.

Joe Rogan 1:19:35 Yeah.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:35 So, uh, you know, so...... uh, they ... You know, I got so much to tell you. There was something I was going to bring up because of the date I left. It- it's when you have nothing to compare yourself to other than other firsts. See, I grew up, like I said, I didn't care about comedy. It was all about acting.

Joe Rogan 1:19:56 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:19:56 Okay. Other than my drums, and the singing stuff, the musical stuff. When I came into comedy, I said, "I'll become, like, a ... Like a movie star."

Joe Rogan 1:20:05 Mm-hmm.

Andrew Dice Clay 1:20:05 You know, that was my confidence and getting on a comedy stage would help me, obviously. And then there was a lot of backlash, like we said, you know, the first to be canceled type of thing, once I took off. But, you see, before I made it, you know, I was working with ... My first movie, George Kennedy, it was called Wacko, Stella Stevens, who starred with Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor, and Joe Don Baker, who did Walking Tall, this stupid movie called Wacko. But I couldn't believe the people I'm getting to work with. Like, I'd call home and talk to my parents and my sister and go, "You know, it's Joe Don Baker, Walking Tall, and George Ken- Cool Hand Luke." You know. So it was all about the acting. Then I did a movie, Private Resort, Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow. Now, Johnny, we know where his career went. Rob has a more low-key career, but he's a big star. He's in Billions. He did his own show, uh, Northern Exposure. And the producer would say ... It was a little beach movie in Florida we did. He goes, "The three of you are going to be huge stars." He just knew, this Israeli producer. Then it was, um, uh, Pretty in Pink, Molly Ringwald, you know, Jon Cryer. That, that ... John Hughes took one scene I did and split it into two. That's how much he loved me, to show me twice in the movie. Um, Making the Grade, Judd Nelson. I was almost like auxiliary Brat Pack, that they