Joe Rogan Experience #1989 - Andrew Dice Clay

1. 0:00 – 1:59

   Dice arrives in character: podcast shades, props, and mutual respect

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drum roll) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) Yeah. Number one, it's great to see you.

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:14

      Great to see you too.

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:15

      Let me just do, uh, you know, what I gotta do. You know.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      Are these your, uh, podcast glasses?

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:24

      I got 'em.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:24

      You got special ones?

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:24

      W- what's his name?

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       Jamie. That's your name, Jamie.

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:27

       Jamie. Y- you do understand I'm doing the Joe Rogan Experience, right?

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       He's doing the Joe Rogan Experience.

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:32

       So why wouldn't I-

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Yeah, you gotta swap glasses.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:34

       ... use the best?

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Ooh, I like those.

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:35

       We go with the chrome.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       I like it.

   19. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:37

       You see what happens-

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       I like it. I like the chrome.

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:39

       We go with the chrome.

   22. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       I like it. I like how you have a case.

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:42

       And-

   24. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Those are serious shades.

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:44

       This is the experience. This is your sh-... You've-

   26. JRJoe Rogan0:47

       Hmm.

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:48

       ... now taken over everything.

   28. JRJoe Rogan0:51

       Hmm.

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay0:51

       In my opinion. And I'm proud of you for that.

   30. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       Thank you.
2. 1:59 – 5:34

   Comedy Store war stories: hecklers, fights, and Joey Diaz chaos

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay1:59

      Because even years ago when you first came to LA, and trust me, you were alternative, the minute I- I walked into the-

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:07

      Alternative?

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay2:08

      Yeah, th-

   4. JRJoe Rogan2:08

      I don't mean alternative in a negative way.

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay2:10

      No, no. You doing it your own way.

   6. JRJoe Rogan2:11

      Oh, okay.

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay2:11

      The way you saw fit, the way I did it, the way Kennison did it. That's how you did it. So I come walking into the original room. I come in through the back. I always do the same thing. I go in through the kitchen, club soda, red straw, $5 tip-

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:28

      (laughs)

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay2:28

      ... into the original room 'cause I'm hearing something, somebody I don't know. Okay? And I look in there, and it's you full force. I mean, screaming at the crowd. And what made it even better-

   10. JRJoe Rogan2:48

       (laughs)

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay2:50

       ... you were i-... Number one, you were doing time. And you were just going ballistic. I thought you were gonna start breaking the stool.

   12. JRJoe Rogan2:58

       (laughs)

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay2:58

       I- I mean, you just... You know, you were also just finding your legs. We're talking about 25, maybe even closer to 30 years ago-

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:08

       Hmm.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay3:08

       ... when you first came out there and you're screaming your head off and you get in a heckle fight with a guy. Now, I will admit that the heckle fights I've had end in the club. Okay? It just ends. Not you. This went outside where there's, I don't know, 20 people, 20 something people between the two of yous. And I'm going, "He's gonna kill this guy." For what? The guy yelled out during his set, but you were right because the guy didn't stop and he was one of those, um-

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:41

       Well, that... No, that guy was threatening me.

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay3:43

       N- no. He was threatening-

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:44

       That was... He was threatening me and he said he was gonna throw a glass at me.

   19. ACAndrew Dice Clay3:46

       And he was really drunk.

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:47

       He was holding a glass back.

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay3:48

       And you were just trying-

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:49

       I don't know if he was that drunk. I think he was just a piece of shit.

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay3:51

       Yeah, I l-... I- I-

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:52

       And that... And he had... Th- the thing about that guy, I know that story. That guy had done that to a bunch of other comedians before me and I got to see and watch it. And they didn't know how to handle it.

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay4:01

       Uh-huh.

   26. JRJoe Rogan4:01

       He was just being a piece of shit.

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay4:03

       No, I know that. And look, I've had-

   28. JRJoe Rogan4:05

       There's a difference between, like, a heckler and someone who, like, purposely tries to interrupt the set for their own joy and fuck with people.

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay4:12

       And doesn't care.

   30. JRJoe Rogan4:13

       And then he threatened me. And so I was like, "Okay, we'll see what happens. W- let's go outside."
3. 5:34 – 10:22

   Rogan as a 19-year-old fan + the career advice that changed everything

   1. JRJoe Rogan5:34

      I know. Well, also me for... then, back then, it was just so weird to be around you 'cause I... I... I've told this story before but when I was 19 years old, me and my girlfriend were sitting in my fucking car in front of my house, I'll never forget it, and we're listening to Dice, the cassette, and we're howling laughing. She was crying. She was just going, "Ah." She just kept, like, slapping her arms. And, and we... I just remember thinking, God... This is before I even thought about doing an open mic. I just kept thinking, "How the fuck is someone so funny?" I remember listening to that cassette. It was so good, it was so fun, it's so silly. And i-... just me as a kid, as a 19-year-old kid trying to find my way in life, it just, like...So, just from me being arou- when I came to the store, I used to be like, "Holy shit, that's Dice Clay." It's w- it was weird.

   2. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:25

      Listen, first off, I appreciate the things you, you say, and that you have said when I'm not here. But-

   3. JRJoe Rogan6:31

      I mean everything I say.

   4. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:32

      ... am I allowed to tell you how proud I am of you?

   5. JRJoe Rogan6:35

      You can tell me anything-

   6. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:36

      You know.

   7. JRJoe Rogan6:36

      ... you want.

   8. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:36

      No, because I have watched you. See, people forget your beginning. You know, I remember the stand-up. I remember you were on a hit sitcom. I remember Fear-

   9. JRJoe Rogan6:47

      It wasn't really a hit.

   10. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:48

       Well, I remember-

   11. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       It was a hit kinda-

   12. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:49

       ... Fear Factor.

   13. JRJoe Rogan6:50

       ... after. Yeah, Hit, that wasn't it. That was weird.

   14. ACAndrew Dice Clay6:51

       But I remember, what I do remember, and you've brought this up on the show, where, um, I was like, eh, I had like a few weeks off. I would do half a million people and then come home for a few weeks. That, that was my touring. You know, we'll get into all that. We could show a clip. I think I sent a clip of me just standing on stage at the Garden not even talking.

   15. JRJoe Rogan7:14

       (laughs)

   16. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:15

       And, um, so what, what happened is, I'm back 'cause I would book 20 cities at a clip. And honestly, we all know this is before any kind of social media. This is 35 years ago.

   17. JRJoe Rogan7:30

       Yes.

   18. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:30

       The ad was the size of the pad, which, if you notice, says, "Rogan." I bought a pad to make notes with.

   19. JRJoe Rogan7:39

       (laughs)

   20. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:40

       Do you understand?

   21. JRJoe Rogan7:41

       I do understand. (laughs)

   22. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:42

       Stories.

   23. JRJoe Rogan7:42

       I appreciate it.

   24. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:43

       You know. And then he says-

   25. JRJoe Rogan7:44

       I like how they're written big, too.

   26. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:45

       "Don't forget the back page." The back pa-

   27. JRJoe Rogan7:48

       (laughs)

   28. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:48

       ... the, yeah, that's a whole pad that I'll never use again.

   29. JRJoe Rogan7:51

       (laughs)

   30. ACAndrew Dice Clay7:52

       What you didn't notice, I'm not in leather.
4. 10:22 – 18:52

   MTV Awards meltdown: the jokes, Dick Clark, and getting banned for life

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay10:22

      Beca- that's why you're sitting right here right now. That's why when, when, when your show elevated to this level, you were getting texting from me. Because I was there before you in a different way, you know? But, you know, what, let me tell you something. When you're the first guy to d- I'm the first guy to do what I did.

   2. JRJoe Rogan10:47

      Yes.

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay10:47

      You know? I mean, I always looked up to Eddie Murphy. I think he's the absolute greatest from stand-up to, to the films he's done. And that's sort of the career I wanted. I figured I would just go from doing, you know, uh, millions of people on the road to just movie stardom, you know? But, you know, I got the backlash, you know?

   4. JRJoe Rogan11:10

      Yeah, you were the first to get the backlash.

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:12

      Yeah, but, yeah, I was the first-

   6. JRJoe Rogan11:13

      Banned from MTV.

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:15

      ... cancel culture, so, n- banned from MTV?

   8. JRJoe Rogan11:17

      Banned from MTV for jokes.

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:19

      Let me... You're bringing up stuff I wanna bring up. But let me, all right, so with MTV, this is what you'll love. This is the part you don't know. (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan11:28

       Well, didn't they approve that set anyway?

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:30

       No, they didn't approve-

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:30

       They didn't?

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:30

       ... anything.

   14. JRJoe Rogan11:31

       They didn't know?

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:33

       No, see-

   16. JRJoe Rogan11:35

       (laughs)

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:35

       ... you know, this is the thing. You know, I always had an expression, "Nobody fucks with Dice. Dice does the fucking."

   18. JRJoe Rogan11:43

       (laughs)

   19. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:43

       In the past, the present, the future, and today, Dice ultimately-

   20. JRJoe Rogan11:51

       In the multiverse.

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:51

       ... does the fucking. That's it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:54

       In the multiverse.

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay11:55

       So, I come for the rehearsal, and my whole job was to hit my mark, and, ladies and gentlemen, I remember it, The Last Puritan, Cher. And I make that move with my hand.

   24. JRJoe Rogan12:10

       Right?

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay12:10

       Cher. Okay. So, I'm getting ready, and they, uh, they already had a couple comics on that just tanked, you know.... Paul Reiser, and I think he's great, but-

   26. NANarrator12:23

       Tough crowds.

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay12:24

       ... y- y- you don't come out on the MTV Awards at the Universal Amphitheater and talk about the hacked Sinatra award. I'm looking at my friend going, "Look at, look at the crowd. Nobody..." It's like he's not even in the room, you know? And my friend says to me, he goes, "Well, you could go out there and you could either be a teardrop, or you could be a tidal wave. You know you." Okay, so... (laughs) I don't really wanna go nuts, I'm trying to do the right thing. I got the biggest manager ever, Sandy Gallin, who had everybody from Whoopi to Stallone to Dolly Parton. I mean, I'm sure you know the name Sandy Gallin. Okay. So, biggest manager in Hollywood. So I'm trying to do the right thing, and, um... So now, I don't know, a minute before I go out, Arsenio's the host. Here comes Dick Clark, who... Wow, it's Dick Clark. You know, you grow up-

   28. NANarrator13:25

       Mmm.

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay13:25

       ... watching this man. And he comes over. Just to hear him call me Dice was hilarious (laughs) . And he goes, "Look, Dice, if you gotta stretch, Arsenio will come over to you and you'll play around." And I go, "Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What do you mean stretch? Stretch what?" You know, "What am I stretching, my dick?"

   30. NANarrator13:46

       Ooh (laughs) .
5. 18:52 – 26:30

   Becoming ‘the Elvis of comedy’: performance-first philosophy and manifestation

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay18:52

      I mean, it was a goal of mine, because honestly, if I was just being honest, I, I never gave a fuck about standup. It's not why I do it, you know? I came into standup because I just figured instead of going to an acting school once a week, you know, why not get on a stage and develop your own, um, method of acting, you know? And I could be on a stage every single night, and I'd be at The Comedy Store, and I'd see all these comics there, and they would stand. See, that was great about you. (sighs) You didn't stand there like a stick figure. You were all over the stage, you were performing. But when I came to The Comedy Store, even guy... Leno, great comics, Seinfeld, all great comics, but they'd stand there like, like, like they were in assembly class. And after five, six minutes, I'd get bored and walk outta the room. And when I would go back to Brooklyn, my mother, who was the one who had the look and the personality, it's where I get that, you know, that balls bigger than, you know, brass ball thing. And I would tell her about the comics, and I go, "About the only one that would move is Richard Lewis." You know, 'cause his whole act was about it's all a nightmare, and he would pace, and, a- he would just make me laugh my ass off. And I would tell her about all these comics, but I come from music. I come from drumming, singing, dancing, and my mother would say to me, "Well, what are you gonna do," you know? I go, "You know what, Ma? I'll just become the Elvis of comedy."

   2. NANarrator20:42

      (laughs)

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay20:42

      I go, "That's who I loved," you know? That, that's my confidence. That was my true belief, my true statement. I said, "These guys, they're all okay," but I go, "Ma, if you..." You know that comics would always just be opening acts for singers. You know, and I didn't put much into that, you know? I didn't care about that. So if I'm gonna do this, if I'm gonna work on this at the same time I'm working on acting chops, just become the biggest the world has ever seen, you know? That's how I looked at it. It was that simple of a thought to me, you know?

   4. NANarrator21:16

      Well-

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:16

      And that, that's how it all began.

   6. NANarrator21:17

      Do you think that you made that happen with your mind? Like, do you ever wonder about that? Like, if you think-

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:23

      It's

   8. JRJoe Rogan21:23

      ... about all the success you've had and even-

   9. NANarrator21:24

      I-

   10. JRJoe Rogan21:24

       ... like, the downsides-

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:26

       (sighs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan21:26

       ... do you ever wonder, like, how much of it you actually create with your mind?

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:31

       I believe that... And you have to use a realistic thought with anything you wanna do in life. You can't walk around saying, "I'm gonna become a neurosurgeon."

   14. NANarrator21:44

       Right.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:45

       You know? Do you know... What... Just by a, a chance, do you know Dr., uh, Rock Politano?

   16. NANarrator21:51

       No, I don't.

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:52

       He's my toe and heel guy-

   18. NANarrator21:54

       Oh.

   19. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:55

       ... in New York. He said he gave you the book Street Smart.

   20. NANarrator21:58

       He might have.

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay21:59

       He's... Yeah.

   22. NANarrator21:59

       He might have.

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay22:00

       Yeah. He's great foot... I've been to foot doctors for eight years now. He's fixing my feet every month.

   24. NANarrator22:05

       I might have met him and forgot.

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay22:06

       Yeah, but... So, he said he, he gave you this book.

   26. NANarrator22:09

       Okay.

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay22:10

       But any... Yeah. Well, I'm at doctors all the time. We'll get into that in a minute.

   28. NANarrator22:13

       What's wrong with your foot?

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay22:14

       But, um, I don't know. I didn't feel my toes for about eight years.

   30. NANarrator22:20

       Oh.
6. 26:30 – 34:29

   The ‘beef’: lions vs. tigers, then a hard turn into pyramids and lost civilizations

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay26:30

      lion isn't the king, it's the tiger?

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:36

      Yes. Tigers fuck up lions.

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay26:39

      Do you understand what you've done to me?

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:40

      Yeah. They're bigger.

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay26:42

      No, but you, you don't get it.

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:44

      (laughs)

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay26:44

      My whole life, I've based off the lion being the king of the jungle. I have a gold lion with diamonds in it. I have a mat at my house-

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:54

      Do you know why they're the king of the jungle?

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay26:56

      I saw it all explained, yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:58

       Well, I'll tell you why, 'cause the tiger doesn't live there.

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:01

       No, but the point is, I see this whole thing with the tiger-

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:05

       (laughs)

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:05

       ... kicking the shit... Mike, I have, I have a production company named Brave Lion.

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:12

       Lions are amazing.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:13

       It's been my wh- no, but he's not the king anymore. He's a jerk-off animal with a good hairdo. That's all the lion is to me now.

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:20

       They have a much better relationship, though, with the other lions.

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:23

       Yeah, but, uh-

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:23

       The lion is the king. You know why? 'Cause the king doesn't necessarily have to be the baddest motherfucker. The king just has to be a real, like an alpha, dominant male of the pride.

   19. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:34

       Yeah, but, uh-

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:34

       But the, the ca- with cats, like, t- tigers are more solitary. They have a totally different kind of relationship.

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:40

       But I would've named him Brave Tiger.

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:42

       Yeah, but the tiger-

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:42

       But do you understand-

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:42

       ... he don't wanna be a tiger.

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:43

       This is-

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:43

       He wanted to be a lion. Lions are more admirable.

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay27:46

       Well, my thing was with the lion, when the lion gets backed against the wall, his claws grow. And that's why he can beat the shit out of everybody. Like, when he feels cornered, like, he could take down a bear because of the, the, the claws, right?

   28. JRJoe Rogan28:00

       No.

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay28:01

       No. I'm wrong about that, yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan28:01

       Well, they're just really good predators. They might not be able to take down a bear. Bear- bears are pretty fucking hu- huge-
7. 34:29 – 41:39

   Money, generosity, and fame pressure: Dice warns Rogan about the ‘woodwork’ effect

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay34:29

      You know, that's w- why you're, you're sitting where you are right now. And I just, you know, I'm just giving you, uh, what's that word? That I'm just giving you kudos.

   2. JRJoe Rogan34:40

      Thank you, sir. Appreciate it.

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay34:41

      You know, like I was really, like I was saying, just really proud when I, when I heard you made the deal and, you know, the whole thing, because I, I know what that feels like when you go from a level you thought that was it, to this whole other stratosphere. I knew what you were entering, and that's why I was texting you at the beginning, and even writing things to you like, "Don't just give away your money," because I know how it gets when you hit that level. I used to give away just... So I mean, bums would get $5,000.

   4. JRJoe Rogan35:17

      (laughs)

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay35:18

      I, I always, at that time, just carried... I'm not even... And if you're missing a limb, it was 10 grand. I'm not even kidding. And, uh, I remember being outside the Comedy Store, and there's a lady, you might have even seen her back then. She had two kids and, and the, you know, the shopping cart from Ralph's, whatever. And I'm just feeling bad going, "This woman doesn't even have a place to live." And I just take out five grand cash. I go, "Here, go get yourself a place to live." You know? Don't you think she was back the next night for another five grand?

   6. JRJoe Rogan35:51

      Was she?

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay35:52

      Y- yeah. I, I couldn't believe it. But there was a, um, there was one guy I really felt bad for, a guy in... it was Chicago. And this isn't to say how good I am 'cause people go, "What charities are you involved?" I give money when I see people that need money. You know, I'm not saying I never gave to a charity, but I'm saying I don't need the bullshit of going, "Oh, what a good person. He's involved in this." He's a-

   8. JRJoe Rogan36:16

      Right.

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay36:17

      It's just not who I am.

   10. JRJoe Rogan36:18

       There's a, there's a bit of a scam to that.

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay36:19

       Yeah, I, I give personally. So I saw a guy in the rain hopping around on one leg in crutches. I gave this guy 10 grand. I put it right in his pocket and I walked away. You know? Another guy chased me down the block in a wheelchair that I put five grand in his cup. Like, he realized like what I put (laughs) in his cup and he came... I go, "Just take it, brother. It's good, you know. Just let it be good for you." You know, that's the way I like to do things.

   12. JRJoe Rogan36:47

       That's beautiful.

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay36:47

       But I would get hit up...... by every comic. I get calls for cars. "Oh, my wife's a little sick, can you see? I just need three grand." You know, they'd ask for thousands like it was nothing. So when you took off, I was like, "Just tell this guy, take care of your family." That's it. You know, I'm not saying never take care of a buddy if he's, you know, in dire straits, but I'm just saying everybody comes out of the woodwork and the level you went to and the press you got about it. Um, you know, I would tell my girlfriend and my sons, they go, "This guy's gonna be hit from all angles. I wanna see what this does to him." And you've kept it together incredible.

   14. JRJoe Rogan37:28

       Thank you.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay37:28

       You know, and another thing I'm looking forward to is I'll talk about the Comedy Store, but the, the Mothership. I hear it's just the greatest.

   16. JRJoe Rogan37:38

       I can't wait to show it to you.

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay37:40

       I, I can't wait to be there because it's, you know, I, I know how much you love Mitzi and the store and you were... Didn't you, like, stop building it and just redo it 'cause you didn't like how it was going?

   18. JRJoe Rogan37:51

       Well, not really. I started at a different place.

   19. ACAndrew Dice Clay37:54

       Oh, okay.

   20. JRJoe Rogan37:54

       I bought a different place and there was a problem with the building.

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay37:57

       Okay.

   22. JRJoe Rogan37:57

       So I had to get another building.

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay37:59

       But I just hear from everybody, like, that it is just number one. Like, it's just the greatest club you could play. And that's why I'm excited. Can, can I even say I'm just doing the show? Like-

   24. JRJoe Rogan38:12

       Yeah.

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay38:13

       ... you know, I want people to know I'm not even... I don't want any money for it, I just wanna... You have been, you know, y- you've just been great about me. Like, I see all the episodes, like with Tarantino, with any comic that comes on (laughs) . I can even see the comics get aggravated 'cause they wanna talk about their own career.

   26. JRJoe Rogan38:32

       (laughs)

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay38:32

       And I'm not gonna say names, but I, I see them, you know.

   28. JRJoe Rogan38:35

       (laughs)

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay38:35

       And you're going, "No, but when Dice did it, it was a fucking explosion." He goes, "Yeah." And you'll say it, you'll go, "A lot of the comics today, they do arenas, but if Dice didn't did it, do it, we wouldn't be doing it."

   30. JRJoe Rogan38:50

       Yeah.
8. 41:39 – 48:24

   The hat, the smell, and the arena-show spectacle: Elvis, Grease, drums, and rock stars

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay41:39

      Obviously you loved The Day The Laughter Died.

   2. JRJoe Rogan41:43

      Yes.

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay41:44

      Okay? Now, I can't let you keep this, but I could let you wear it for a little-

   4. JRJoe Rogan41:50

      What is it?

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay41:50

      ... 'cause you are wearing a hat. This is the hat I wore and there's even pictures I sent, uh-

   6. JRJoe Rogan41:55

      Oh.

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay41:55

      ... Traps last night. Um-

   8. JRJoe Rogan41:57

      I can wear it? Is that what you're saying?

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay41:58

      Yeah, I want... Uh, I want you to wear it a little.

   10. JRJoe Rogan42:01

       Okay, I'll put it on real quick.

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:01

       Because this is the hat I wore and, uh, he's got pictures of me on stage at Dangerfield's-

   12. JRJoe Rogan42:06

       Oh, nice.

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:07

       ... recording it. There we are. Okay?

   14. JRJoe Rogan42:10

       That's a nice hat.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:11

       You know.

   16. JRJoe Rogan42:13

       Come on. What do you think? Bro, this hat smells terrible.

   17. NANarrator42:20

       (laughs)

   18. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:20

       What are you talking about?

   19. JRJoe Rogan42:21

       It smells like cabbage.

   20. NANarrator42:22

       (laughs)

   21. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:23

       No, but I know you like it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan42:25

       (laughs)

   23. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:25

       So I want you to wear it. Wait a minute. That's one of the hats.

   24. JRJoe Rogan42:32

       It's good.

   25. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:32

       Okay. 'Cause there were two hats. I did three nights.

   26. JRJoe Rogan42:35

       Take a sniff of that hat.

   27. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:36

       When?

   28. JRJoe Rogan42:36

       For real.

   29. ACAndrew Dice Clay42:36

       Really?

   30. JRJoe Rogan42:37

       Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9. 48:24 – 56:29

   Origin story: the Travolta act, first time onstage, and instant headliner booking

   1. ACAndrew Dice Clay48:24

      This is... No. Yes, yes. And this is after Fever hit. The, the way I got... Can I take these off now?

   2. JRJoe Rogan48:29

      Yeah.

   3. ACAndrew Dice Clay48:30

      So the way I got into it ... So since I was in high school, when Travolta hit with Barbarino, I realized I could do like the perfect Barbarino. But what am I gonna do with it other than entertaining high school kids? Now he comes out with Fever, and he dances. Great. But the night I saw Grease was the night my life changed. And there was no videos back then. You, you understand? So I'm coming home, and I'm like, "If I could turn-"... from an impression I'm doing since I'm a kid, seven years old, Jerry Lewis, nutty professor who would turn into Buddy Love. But if I could turn into Travolta from, from Professor Kelp, it would just kill as an act. Only, I w- I never do anything fake so I had to be able to sing as Travolta doing Grease Lightning, as you saw live. So I go to a studio in Brooklyn where, 'cause I kn- that's what I would do. I would drum, sing but, so I knew about, you know, where bands would go to, to record albums. So I went to a studio on Kings Highway in Brooklyn called Fly Studios, and I bring the Fever album and I bring Grease. And I ask these guys, "Can you get the lead vocal out of Grease Lightning?" 'Cause I'm not gonna do it fake. If I can't sound like him, I'm not doing the act. They got it out. I rehearsed for three weeks doing this act that these two guys, and I know it sounds like one of my old jokes, "What are your names, Neil and Bob? Is that, like, what you do?" You know, that was a heckler line. Right. But the guys that owned the studio's names were Neil and Bob. (laughs) Okay. So these guys are watching me, you know. I'm in the part where you could record and they're working, you know, the whole, you know, the, the board. And I come out of the bathroom looking like Jerry Lewis, the nutty professor. I'm like talking to the mirror, "Actually, uh, actually I'm a pity, ladies and gentlemen and I, I have my magic formula." And I'd take the formula and I'd say, "Okay, hit the music." There was an intro and I'd be in the dark, rip off the Jerry Lewis stuff, and now I'm Travolta from Grease. And I did that act at Pips in Brooklyn, which I think you got a picture of the owner with Rodney Dangerfield outside the club. Um, so I, I go to Pips on audition night and I come up as Jerry Lewis and I got my whole family there. My mother, my father, my sister and, 'cause I'm telling, "Don't forget, come to Pips." But what, what was amazing, when I put the act together, I had to sit in the theater all day and watch Grease with a pad like this and write down names for the moves Travolta was doing, or else I'd forget when I would rehearse the act that you were seeing. That, the guy in the middle, his name is George Schultz, you know, and Pips was the first real comedy club in America. Really? And it spawned Rodney. What year was that? Uh, I don't know what year they opened. I think he opened in the '60s and he, George himself should've been a comic. He just wasn't, okay? But he gave Rodney the line, "I don't get no respect." At least- Ah. Yeah. And he helped different guy- David Brenna every time he was gonna do- '62, holy shit. Yeah. And that- '62. It was a sushi place. So when- Mambo Sushi, look at that. Yeah. And he turned it into Pips. Wow. David Brenna. Wow. Any time Brenna was gonna do the Carson Show, George would help him with his set. So when the business wasn't doing well, Brenna would give them all kinds of money to survive, and the two sons ran the club. So I show up there. My parents are there. Now picture your parents, now you, your own parents watching Joe go on stage doing an impression he was doing at five. Going, "Really? This is why we're here?" Boo. And I'm on stage, I'm still 20 years old doing the Jerry Lewis, "Actually, ladies..." And, and it's a Brooklyn crowd just booing the fuck... "Get the fuck off! You fucking suck!" And I'm just committed. I go, "I have put together a formula." .......................... Like, okay. (coughs) I take the formula, um, Seth Schultz knew, shut the lights. I turn my back to the crowd. They're sc- they're screaming. You got 100 people, 99 people screaming to get outta the, off the stage. I'm slicking my hair back. I'm staying calm. Music starts. It's from Fever. "Ladies and gent-" To, uh, Disco Inferno, "Ladies and gentlemen, somebody new, somebody exciting and da da... Ladies and gentlemen, Andrew Clay." And I turn around with that, that, when you saw me in the leather jacket, that look, and I just pose and I start, like, a fake walk like Travolta in Fever, and they're starting to scream. Now it's turning. I wait 'cause I always wait. (laughs) Even to this day when I'm on stage I just wait. And, um, so I wait til it quiets down and I come up to the mic and I'm like, "Duh, huh, huh. So you thought it couldn't be done, right?" The place went nuts. Now I talk about the car. Here comes Grease Lightning. When I did Grease Lightning, you're talking about Brooklyn animals, and I know you know about that stuff 'cause you're from Boston. You know what kind of a- East Coast people. Yeah. They were throwing tables over. They're going fucking berserk. I don't even know what just happened. And as I'm leaving with my family, here come the two sons going, "Wait a minute, where you going?" You know. "Who are you?" Like, "What is that?" You know. They go, "We, we, y- you got a manager?" You know. And I just look at my father and I go, "Yeah, he's right here." And e- my family is stunned from what they just witnessed and they go, "Um, we wanna book your son to headline this coming weekend."... you know.

   4. JRJoe Rogan55:12

      What?

   5. ACAndrew Dice Clay55:13

      And I go-

   6. JRJoe Rogan55:14

      First time on stage?

   7. ACAndrew Dice Clay55:15

      First time on stage. And, and it, I said, "What you saw tonight, that's, that's the whole act." They go, "Just do what you did tonight. Just do that." And they go, "It's not a lot of money. It's $50." I go, "You think I care ab- uh, we don't, we don't care about the money." Like, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And then we went to a diner i- in Sheepshead Bay and nobody could even talk for, like, 10 minutes.

   8. JRJoe Rogan55:41

      (laughs)

   9. ACAndrew Dice Clay55:41

      And then my mother's like, "Andrew, when did you think of this?" You know?

   10. JRJoe Rogan55:48

       (laughs) .

   11. ACAndrew Dice Clay55:48

       It was so great. And then everybody starts talking about what just happened. I was shell-shocked 'cause I'm not thinking they're gonna go nuts. I, I thought it was a clever idea, you know? And it built from there and within six months I'm doing my own shows where my father's selling tickets at Dangerfield's. You know-

   12. JRJoe Rogan56:10

       What year was this?

   13. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:11

       Uh, this is 1978. The first time on stage was September 13th '78.

   14. JRJoe Rogan56:17

       So you really hit about, like, eight years later.

   15. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:21

       10.

   16. JRJoe Rogan56:21

       10 years.

   17. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:21

       February 13th '88, Rodney Special.

   18. JRJoe Rogan56:25

       Oh. When did your cassette come out then?

10. 56:29 – 1:20:05

    Rick Rubin partnership + ‘The Day the Laughter Died’ as performance art (and a business risk)

    1. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:29

       No, well, Rick Rubin met me-

    2. JRJoe Rogan56:30

       The first. When was, like, the first one?

    3. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:33

       No, you're talking about the Black Album, Dice.

    4. JRJoe Rogan56:35

       Yes, yes, yes, yes.

    5. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:36

       Yes. That came out right about the same time the Rodney Special aired, okay?

    6. JRJoe Rogan56:42

       Okay.

    7. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:42

       See, I was at the Laugh Factory when it was just an 80 seat room-

    8. JRJoe Rogan56:48

       Mm-hmm.

    9. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:48

       ... before he opened up.

    10. JRJoe Rogan56:49

        Okay, I must've been 21 then. I thought I was 19.

    11. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:51

        Yeah, see?

    12. JRJoe Rogan56:52

        I got a screwed up memory.

    13. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:53

        Okay. And...

    14. JRJoe Rogan56:55

        That makes sense actually-

    15. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:56

        And so-

    16. JRJoe Rogan56:56

        ... now I think about the girl.

    17. ACAndrew Dice Clay56:57

        ... between sets I went over to Greenblatt's to get a cup of coffee and I'm with this screenplay writer. Uh, his name was Mark... I forgot his last name actually. Sorry. Sorry, Mark. Anyway, we're getting coffee and here comes this guy. You know Rick Rubin with the beard, the whole look? And he's with this little, like, heavyset guy. And oh, man, here comes some asshole, you know. And, um, he goes, "Yeah, can I, can I..." You know, he's soft-spoken. "Can I speak with you a minute?" And I, I do have a Brooklyn attitude, I'll admit it, you know? And I go, "Yeah, what, yeah, what can I do for you, pal? I gotta do another show," you know? And then the guy, Mark, that's with me goes, "Aren't you Rick Rubin?" And I'm looking at him and going, "Who's Rick?" He goes, "He basically created rap." And Rick goes, "Yeah, I, uh, I wanna do an album with you and I don't wanna bother you. I'm gonna go next door and watch the second show." You know, 'cause I had to do another show. And that's how me and Rick met and we wound up doing five albums together.

    18. JRJoe Rogan58:02

        Hmm.

    19. ACAndrew Dice Clay58:03

        You know, and we were a great team together. I mean, you know, he's Rick Rubin. And I mean, sometimes we would disagree but te- you can't get Rick mad. He's-

    20. JRJoe Rogan58:16

        He's an interesting cat.

    21. ACAndrew Dice Clay58:17

        Well-

    22. JRJoe Rogan58:18

        Very different human being, right?

    23. ACAndrew Dice Clay58:20

        Oh, it, it just, you know... I said to Rick one time, you know, when, when Dice Rules that, where I do Greased Lightening, that was Dice Rules the album, okay? Besides the movie. And, um, I go, "Did they..." Yeah, I, I was at West- Westwood 1 radio, something like that. And on the way back, uh, you know, I say to Rick, I go, "Did they put up all the posters like you said they were gonna do?" You know? And he goes, "I suppose." And I'm looking at him. I go, "You're the boss. Uh, uh, don't you know?" He goes, "Well, I told them to put it up."

    24. JRJoe Rogan59:00

        Dude.

    25. ACAndrew Dice Clay59:01

        That's like... Yeah, like, you can't get... Even if he didn't like something on an album and, you know, I could get heated, you know? I, I'm, I'm that kind of personality. I'm like, "I don't give a fuck. It's not your fucking album." "Well, then I suppose you'll do what you like."

    26. JRJoe Rogan59:18

        (laughs)

    27. ACAndrew Dice Clay59:19

        I'm like, "Don't you ever get mad? Didn't you ever have a fight?" And he goes, "Actually, I never had a fight."

    28. JRJoe Rogan59:26

        Hmm.

    29. ACAndrew Dice Clay59:26

        I go, "You never got to punch in the face?" I go, he goes, "No." I go, "Well, you're about to-"

    30. JRJoe Rogan59:32

        Dude.
11. 1:20:05 – 1:32:50

    Acting ambitions and Hollywood trajectory: films, Crime Story, and calling your shot

    1. ACAndrew Dice Clay1:20:05

       You know, that was my confidence and getting on a comedy stage would help me, obviously. And then there was a lot of backlash, like we said, you know, the first to be canceled type of thing, once I took off. But, you see, before I made it, you know, I was working with ... My first movie, George Kennedy, it was called Wacko, Stella Stevens, who starred with Jerry Lewis in The Nutty Professor, and Joe Don Baker, who did Walking Tall, this stupid movie called Wacko. But I couldn't believe the people I'm getting to work with. Like, I'd call home and talk to my parents and my sister and go, "You know, it's Joe Don Baker, Walking Tall, and George Ken- Cool Hand Luke." You know. So it was all about the acting. Then I did a movie, Private Resort, Johnny Depp and Rob Morrow. Now, Johnny, we know where his career went. Rob has a more low-key career, but he's a big star. He's in Billions. He did his own show, uh, Northern Exposure. And the producer would say ... It was a little beach movie in Florida we did. He goes, "The three of you are going to be huge stars." He just knew, this Israeli producer. Then it was, um, uh, Pretty in Pink, Molly Ringwald, you know, Jon Cryer. That, that ... John Hughes took one scene I did and split it into two. That's how much he loved me, to show me twice in the movie. Um, Making the Grade, Judd Nelson. I was almost like auxiliary Brat Pack, that they would use me in their movies. And then I did Casual Sex for Ivan Reitman and his wife director, Geneviève. And I played the Vin Man. Now, you remember Judy Toll who passed away.

Episode duration: 2:53:25