Joe Rogan Experience #2014 - Jim Gaffigan

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drumming music plays) Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music plays)

Jim Gaffigan 0:11 No, no. Yeah, I know. No, I just-

Joe Rogan 0:13 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 0:13 ... I just saw that clip of Jordan. "I, I don't e-... I don't miss it either." Yeah, he's got weird autoimmune issues. So for him, there was like an elimination diet, and he found out that it was just a bunch of things that his body was reacting to in a very negative way, and one of them, apparently, was vegetables. A lot of it is like just complex carbohydrates. You know, a lot of it is, uh, bread and pasta and stuff like that. A lot of people get really inflamed eating that, and it causes a host of issues. Isn't that great? I mean, it's... Well, eventually, it... isn't there... You know, like even the problem with chemo... And, you know, I'm a guy who tells diarrhea jokes, so I know a lot about this.

Joe Rogan 0:53 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 0:53 Isn't it... Isn't the expectation that if they could kind of, uh, concierge your cancer treatment to your specific type of cancer for your type of body or your type of cells, that that's why people are gonna be able to live to 100, rich people are gonna be able to live to 100?

Joe Rogan 1:15 Um, I think there's definitely a lot of research that's done in, in that way. But I, I also think that it, it depen-... It's... There's so many factors when it comes to cancer. There's environmental factors, there's lifestyle factors, like what you're eating, like you, how much stress you're under. There's a lot. There's genetic issues. There's a lot going on when it comes to cancer.

Jim Gaffigan 1:37 Yeah. I mean, there is like... I mean, you just hear about, you know, people from the Philippines, like an entire family, everyone died of cancer at 40. And you're like, "Uh."

Joe Rogan 1:50 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:51 What's, uh... what's going on there?

Joe Rogan 1:52 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:52 You know? Like...

Joe Rogan 1:54 Unfortunately, though, some of it is genetic. Some people just have a shit roll of the dice, genetically, you know, and then there's-

Jim Gaffigan 2:00 Are you saying that because I have all recessive genes?

Joe Rogan 2:04 Do you?

Jim Gaffigan 2:04 I mean, I am literally-

Joe Rogan 2:06 All of them? 100%?

Jim Gaffigan 2:06 I'm like everything's recessive.

Joe Rogan 2:09 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 2:09 (laughs) I literally went into the dermatologist and he's like, "You know, well, we're just gonna..." Like, you know, 'cause y-... I don't know if you ever get the cancer stuff of the basal cells. He's like, "W- w- we, we should probably just chop off your arms 'cause they're just all basal cells." (laughs) So, it's like I am, uh, you know... Uh, I am all recessive genes.

Joe Rogan 2:30 How did-

Jim Gaffigan 2:30 Blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin-

Joe Rogan 2:31 ... white people, really white people, deal with the sun-

Jim Gaffigan 2:35 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 2:35 ... back in the day before sunscreen?

Jim Gaffigan 2:37 Well, I think, I think some of it is, uh, you know, if they're in Northern Ireland or Scotland, uh, I don't... I think it's all right.

Joe Rogan 2:48 Yeah. They're not gonna really get burned.

Jim Gaffigan 2:49 And they're also not living past 40, right?

Joe Rogan 2:53 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 2:54 (laughs) Right? I mean, they're kind of-

Joe Rogan 2:55 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 2:56 They're like, "Look at this thing called alcohol." And then they're like, "Let's do this for the rest of our time we're on Earth." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 3:03 Well, back then, like in the early, early days, they drank it because a lot of water was tainted.

Jim Gaffigan 3:10 Right. Oh yeah, during Jesus' time.

Joe Rogan 3:13 Everyone drank wine and beer.

Jim Gaffigan 3:14 Yeah, that's why the apostles fell asleep, is because they weren't drinking, uh, water. There were... It was cheaper to drink wine.

Joe Rogan 3:23 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 3:23 And it was more of a party atmosphere.

Joe Rogan 3:25 And probably better for you than getting horrible toxins in your water, you know.

Jim Gaffigan 3:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:31 Viruses and bacteria and whatever the fuck is in still water that's sitting around for a while.

Jim Gaffigan 3:36 Yeah. It is... I'd like... Are... Is there any difference between any of these waters? 'Cause, you know, like there's, oh, this water... I mean, I like Fiji water. Hopefully, they'll send me a case now.

Joe Rogan 3:48 That's supposed to be pretty good.

Jim Gaffigan 3:49 But is there... And that's gotta be very good for the environment to have water shipped from an island in the North Atlantic. But like-

Joe Rogan 3:59 Sure, as long as they're using fossil fuels to get it here.

Jim Gaffigan 4:01 (laughs) Right, I'm sure.

Joe Rogan 4:02 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 4:02 I mean, there's water 10 feet from me, but I'd like to get mine from like this Nordic country that's like, uh, really far away. No, but is there any difference between these waters?

Joe Rogan 4:14 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 4:14 I mean, except for the Poland Spring that tastes like urine.

Joe Rogan 4:16 There's a guy that, uh, t- Tom Segura and Christine Baranski have had on their show. What's his name? Martin Renz? I forgot his name. He's, he's an a- an actual water connoisseur, like a water expert.

Jim Gaffigan 4:28 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 4:28 And he rates the, the different mineral content in waters, all the-

Jim Gaffigan 4:33 So he's like a sommelier-

Joe Rogan 4:35 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 4:35 ... for water.

Joe Rogan 4:36 A sommelier of water. Yeah, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 4:37 Oh, that's so interesting.

Joe Rogan 4:38 What is his name?

Narrator 4:38 Yeah, you got Martin Reese.

Joe Rogan 4:40 Martin Reese. Yeah, interesting guy. And he talks to them about water. It's all... He brought a bunch of different kinds of water and tells them what's good and what's bad. You really ideally want water in a glass bottle. You don't really want it in plastic. There's a lot of issues with plastic, with leaching-

Jim Gaffigan 4:57 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:57 ... if the water gets... You know, you don't know what's happening between the time it gets bottled and how it gets shipped to you. It could be sitting in the sun. It could be sitting in a hot warehouse, and plastic bottles leach these chemicals into the water, which are endocrine disruptors.

Jim Gaffigan 5:12 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:12 Not good.

Jim Gaffigan 5:13 Yeah. No, that's scary.

Joe Rogan 5:15 Even water.

Jim Gaffigan 5:16 Even water, Jim.

Joe Rogan 5:18 Well, I remember, I watched this, um, thing about, I don't know, all these... uh, all the plastic that's in the ocean, and then the fish eat the- Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 5:28 ... plastic, and then... And I just was like, "I'm so relieved I don't like fish."

Joe Rogan 5:34 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 5:34 (laughs) 'Cause you're always like, "Oh, fish is so good for you." And I'm like, "Yeah? Well, now I, I'm gonna stick to burgers."

Joe Rogan 5:40 There's mercury too. Mercury is a big one.

Jim Gaffigan 5:42 Right. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:42 A lot of, a lot of fish have mercury poisoning. Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 5:43 But there's a lot of plastics in there that, that some of these k-... these fish, they can't even... like they, they can't mate or whatever. I don't know. I, I know-

Joe Rogan 5:55 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 5:55 ... I sound scientific.

Joe Rogan 5:56 (laughs) Jim is so specific. "Did you do a lot of research?"

Jim Gaffigan 5:59 He can't... They can't do things.

Joe Rogan 6:01 They can't mate or something?

Jim Gaffigan 6:02 They can't mate.

Joe Rogan 6:04 ... they're not interested.

Jim Gaffigan 6:05 They're not interested.

Joe Rogan 6:07 Yeah. Not good. Uh, and it's a lot of people think that when you recycle plastic bottles that they get recycled, but they don't.

Jim Gaffigan 6:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:14 Most... I think it's something around the neighborhood of 90% of all plastic single-use bottles get put into landfills. If... Or, they get shipped to other countries, and the other countries wind up polluting with them.

Jim Gaffigan 6:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:29 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 6:30 So, what's the solution?

Joe Rogan 6:32 Well, really, there, there are biodegradable plastics, and biodegradable plastics that are made out of hemp fiber. It's... That's a real thing. Like, they can't... They can make plastic made out of things other than petrochemical products.

Jim Gaffigan 6:47 Yeah, but isn't it a little bit like the fake sugar? Like, there's always... I had a joke about it, like, there's... Oh, ev- ev-... You know, when we were growing up, there was saccharin, and they're like, "Oh, no, it causes cancer." And they're like, "Oh, here's a new fake sugar." And then two years later, "That one causes cancer." It's like everything causes cancer.

Joe Rogan 7:03 They're just coming out now about aspartame. They're talking about aspartame-

Jim Gaffigan 7:06 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:07 ... which everyone's saying, "That's the one that's okay."

Jim Gaffigan 7:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:10 I'm like, "Nope, that's not good for you, either." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 7:12 It's just, sugar is the great Satan, right?

Joe Rogan 7:16 Yeah, it's, it's just, it's just not good in the form that we have it mostly. You know, mostly it's added sugar to things. And sugar from fruit is fine because it comes in a, in a digestible way. It's connected to fiber. It's connected to the, the material of the fruit. It's good for you.

Jim Gaffigan 7:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:35 It's actually... It's okay. I mean, it has sugar, but the way your body digests it, it processes the fiber. It's a, a slower release. What's really bad is drinking sugar, like when you're drinking, like, Coca-Cola, like, you-

Jim Gaffigan 7:48 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:48 That is alien to your body. Your body's like, "How is this here?"

Jim Gaffigan 7:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:52 Like, this is... You never... There's nothing in nature that gives you sugar in that form.

Jim Gaffigan 7:57 Did you ever see that video of the evolution of the... 'Cause, uh, Coca-Cola, like, in the '20s or '30s used to be something that you would go down to the soda shop and you would get a tiny bottle of Coke, and you'd kind of have a tiny... And then just the sizes growing-

Joe Rogan 8:16 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 8:16 ... over decades. It's just insane.

Joe Rogan 8:18 Liters.

Jim Gaffigan 8:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:18 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 8:19 You know, and then the 7-Eleven slushy is just bananas.

Joe Rogan 8:23 It's the, the... You're mainlining sugar just right into your blood.

Jim Gaffigan 8:28 But... All right, so, so I think that everyone understands that, like, sodas, uh... 'Cause I want you to get sewed by- sued by the Coca-Cola company-

Joe Rogan 8:37 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 8:37 ... and the Pepsi company. Uh, but that is something that is obviously some-... I... But I think most... Even, even people that do drink Diet Cokes are like, "I know this is bad."

Joe Rogan 8:52 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 8:52 You know what I mean? But, I do think the, the, uh... You know, I don't think that we, uh, as a society have embraced the fact that social media is one of the worst things that has happened to human beings ever.

Joe Rogan 9:11 For sure, for health. For, like, mental health.

Jim Gaffigan 9:13 Mental health.

Joe Rogan 9:14 Yeah, for sure. It's terrible. There, there's documentation. There's, there's a great book called the, um... What, what is it? The American Mind, uh, the Jonathan Haidt book. W- what is it called? The Coddling of the American Mind. The Coddling of the American Mind. Yeah. And, uh, it's, it's... It, it documents the self-harm and suicide rates of young kids.

Jim Gaffigan 9:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:39 Particularly girls.

Jim Gaffigan 9:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:40 It's real bad.

Jim Gaffigan 9:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:42 It's a lot of online bullying between each other, like hate and vitriol, and just the, the comparing themselves to other people-

Jim Gaffigan 9:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:50 ... unfavorably. And now with filters, and, like, you're, you're essentially comparing yourself to fiction.

Jim Gaffigan 9:56 It, it... You know, it's interesting when you consider for generation upon generation, uh, people would look at their parents, and their parents would say, "You know, I had to walk five miles to school. I had to walk uphill both ways."

Joe Rogan 10:09 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 10:10 And all that. And I look at my teenagers, and I'm like, "Oh, they have it harder. They, they definitely have it harder." Like, d-... You know, like, in high school, dealing with, you know, you were compared to people in your high school. Now these kids are compared to everyone on the internet.

Joe Rogan 10:27 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 10:27 It's, like, the... Just the, uh... You know, the, the, uh, the ac-... You know, like, the... You know, like, we used to... When we were kids, you're like, "Hey, Tommy's dad, who's divorced, has a Playboy. We're gonna go over there, and we're gonna look at it in a field."

Joe Rogan 10:44 (laughs) Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 10:44 Like, we did that when we were, like, 13.

Joe Rogan 10:47 Yup.

Jim Gaffigan 10:48 And now it's like the porn is thrown at you.

Joe Rogan 10:51 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 10:52 And so, like, I look at... You know, I think kids got it much harder.

Joe Rogan 10:57 They definitely have it much harder psychologically. Yeah, no doubt. And just, just the online bullying and the, the way they, they tweet to each other and, you know, leave Instagram messages and Snapchats. It's just... It's evil. Uh, and-

Jim Gaffigan 11:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:14 ... they, they do it to each other on a daily basis, and it's a normal thing for kids to just be real shitty to each other online, and-

Jim Gaffigan 11:21 And, and they don't have to see the-

Joe Rogan 11:23 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 11:23 ... the reaction.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Yeah, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 11:25 And it is strange, 'cause among... You know, it's... There is this kind of... The banter of the... You know, the greatest form of affection you can give another comedian is to give them shit.

Joe Rogan 11:37 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 11:37 Right? But that's also... You, you also can get a temperature of how they're truly responding to it. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 11:46 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 11:46 Like, you, you know, you guys pick on Bert in everything. But, like, if you got a sense that it was truly hurting his feelings, you would be more constructive about it.

Joe Rogan 11:55 Yes, for sure.

Jim Gaffigan 11:56 You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 11:57 For a little bit, and then go right back to it.

Jim Gaffigan 11:58 Then you go back to it.

Joe Rogan 12:00 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:00 And then he would be like, "Excuse me, I have to go sit on my pile of, uh, Jimmy Buffett, like, money."

Joe Rogan 12:08 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:09 (laughs) 'Cause he is-

Joe Rogan 12:09 Margaritaville. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:12 He's, he's gonna have the machine restaurants. It's just inevitable.

Joe Rogan 12:16 Oh, yeah, he has to have them. They'll be in Florida.

Jim Gaffigan 12:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:20 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 12:20 But they will be, and there will be... It is... It's just inevitable. There's no stopping-

Joe Rogan 12:25 The worst food for you.

Jim Gaffigan 12:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:27 For sure. Yeah, it'll be great.

Jim Gaffigan 12:29 And, and, and by the way, he's gonna outlive everyone-

Joe Rogan 12:33 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 12:34 (laughs) That's the great irony. He's gonna be-

Joe Rogan 12:36 Well, there's a balance, right?

Jim Gaffigan 12:37 He's gonna be crying at your funeral.

Joe Rogan 12:38 He's having so much fun, and yet he's so heal- unhealthy. But yet, he's always laughing and having fun. There's gotta be a balance in there that's being achieved.

Jim Gaffigan 12:48 He's so unhealthy, but it's, uh, uh, but there is... Like, you see him, like, uh, snowboarding.

Joe Rogan 12:54 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 12:54 He's not, like, somebody... Like, there is-

Joe Rogan 12:57 He's not ambulatory.

Jim Gaffigan 12:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:59 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 12:59 And, you know, like, I, like, when I think of how my dad used to drink. Like, my dad would come home, he would have a vodka. And then at one point, he would switch to Scotch. I thought that was normal. I'm like, "You know when your dad has two vodkas and then he switches?" And so, like, there... But he would wake up the next morning and be fine. And I, I kind of look at Bert the same way. It's like, he has a, a, a stamina. I mean, some of it's for show, obviously. But, like, he has a stamina that is unusual. He really is the machine.

Joe Rogan 13:30 Yeah, he's got a very-

Jim Gaffigan 13:30 He proves this point.

Joe Rogan 13:31 ... unusual tolerance for alcohol.

Jim Gaffigan 13:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:35 And his, he's accustomed to feeling like shit and recovering.

Jim Gaffigan 13:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:39 He does a lot of stuff, like saunas and cold plunges, and he gets IVs, and he does a lot of stuff to try to mitigate the effects. But yeah, he's, he's going hard.

Jim Gaffigan 13:49 Yeah. It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 13:51 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 13:52 It's... I'm jealous. I'm jealous.

Joe Rogan 13:54 Are you? (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 13:55 Yeah. You know, I have like... Yesterday was, um, our anniversary, and we, I had a glass of champagne with my wife. And halfway through dinner, I was starting to get the headache. I'm like, "What the hell is happening to me?"

Joe Rogan 14:07 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 14:08 I just can't... My body's like, "Whoa, whoa."

Joe Rogan 14:12 Yeah, when I take time off of drinking. Like, we do Sober October every year.

Jim Gaffigan 14:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:16 And then I'll have a day when we go back, we get fucked up. And the next day, I'm like, "I'm not doing this anymore. This is over."

Jim Gaffigan 14:23 And so how has your drinking cha- Like, all right, so on an average week, how often do... W- you know, like, 'cause alcohol is different from, like, consuming, like, getting high in other ways. 'Cause alcohol seems kind of counter to the Joe Rogan lifestyle thing-

Joe Rogan 14:40 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 14:40 ... of, like... Or are you sitting there going, "Oh, this, this special cumin and laced, uh, vodka-

Joe Rogan 14:48 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 14:48 ... has zero calories."

Joe Rogan 14:50 No.

Jim Gaffigan 14:50 You know, is there... But is... So how often during the week do you get wasted?

Joe Rogan 14:55 Well, because I own a club-

Jim Gaffigan 14:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:58 ... and because I'm in my club all the time-

Jim Gaffigan 15:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:01 ... I very rarely drink-drink. I'll have a drink.

Jim Gaffigan 15:05 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 15:05 Like before a show, like last night, I had a half of a drink. We were at... Ron White was there, and he had his tequila, and he was pouring drinks for everybody.

Jim Gaffigan 15:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:12 So I had, I had a sip of his tequila. I had a little bit. But when I smoke pot or, you know, or anything else, it's just no big deal. Like, the next day, I feel fine. It's not-

Jim Gaffigan 15:24 Yeah, there's total recovery.

Joe Rogan 15:25 ... it's not wrecking, yeah, it's not wrecking me.

Jim Gaffigan 15:26 But, all right, so but you're inhaling... And now I sound like the Puritan. You're inhaling-

Joe Rogan 15:32 You're inhaling. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 15:32 ... your lungs, but you're doing it in a way where it's not damaging the lungs?

Joe Rogan 15:36 Um, well, it's probably not good for your lungs to just inhale burnt plant fiber.

Jim Gaffigan 15:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:44 You know, it's probably not good. But it doesn't show cancer on the levels that, like, you see from people that are cigarette smokers. You also don't smoke as much.

Jim Gaffigan 15:53 Right.

Joe Rogan 15:53 Like, you take a couple of hits before a show. It's not like you're sitting there with a pack of cigarettes and you're doing it every day.

Jim Gaffigan 16:00 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 16:00 It's different.

Jim Gaffigan 16:02 Right. And you're not living next to a chemical plant and-

Joe Rogan 16:04 That, you know, environmental fact, you're, like, working in a chemical plant. Like, people that have to work with chemicals, like, that's fucking horrible. People who paint cars and shit like that, like, pshh, that's rough.

Jim Gaffigan 16:16 Like, do you ever look at the Europeans, like the, uh, you know, the, the way that, like, some of our foods have, um, genetic modified thing?

Joe Rogan 16:27 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 16:27 And then you, and then the Europeans are like, "No, we're not gonna do that." I'm like, "Uh, uh, are we doing it wrong?"

Joe Rogan 16:32 We're definitely doing it wrong.

Jim Gaffigan 16:33 And so, like-

Joe Rogan 16:34 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 16:34 ... why isn't there this ground swell? I mean, outside of the obvious thing of f- financial interests of major corporations corrupting our political system. But, like, why is there not kind of people saying, "This is insane"?

Joe Rogan 16:52 Because of the financial issue. It's-

Jim Gaffigan 16:55 Wow.

Joe Rogan 16:55 ... it's 100% because of that, because they've co-opted the media, and they, the media doesn't report on all these things. You know, the media doesn't report on so many things that are bad for you, because it's bad for their interests.

Jim Gaffigan 17:07 Well, let me ask you this, and we'll be right back to the Jim Gaffigan Show in a minute.

Joe Rogan 17:12 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 17:12 I'm here with, uh, Joseph Reagan? Rogan. No, let me ask you this.

Joe Rogan 17:17 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 17:17 So, all right, so Sam Bankman-Fried-

Joe Rogan 17:19 Just got off of all charges.

Jim Gaffigan 17:22 Off of all charges? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:23 Well, that's totally not corrupt.

Jim Gaffigan 17:25 No, but-

Joe Rogan 17:25 By the way, he deserves to be free.

Jim Gaffigan 17:27 You think he deserves to be free?

Joe Rogan 17:28 Yeah, go back to doing meth and hanging out with that, that little floozy in that house that he had with 40 other people and banging each other.

Jim Gaffigan 17:34 Occasionally, when he would-

Joe Rogan 17:36 Ah.

Jim Gaffigan 17:36 ... when he would be in court in a suit, I would be like, "Aw, that's so cute. He's got a suit on." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:42 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 17:42 It's kind of like, you know, a, a boy at a bar mitzvah or his confirmation. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:46 Right, right. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 17:46 Where you're just like, "Aw, look at him in a suit."

Joe Rogan 17:49 "Like a real man."

Jim Gaffigan 17:50 But, all right, let me ask you this.

Joe Rogan 17:52 Feds drop campaign contributions charge against Sam Bankman-Fried. But is that all his charges about everything? Are there other charges that are still available, or is he a free man now?

Jim Gaffigan 18:01 I think they said he had to get a haircut, which is really weird.

Joe Rogan 18:05 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 18:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:05 Okay, federal prosecutors are dropping campaign finance violation charges against alleged crypto crook Sam Bankman-Fried over a legal snafu in his extradition from the Bahamas to the US. Still faces 12 other charges.

Jim Gaffigan 18:19 Okay.

Joe Rogan 18:19 And the case of five more of those counts are still in question because they were added after he was extradited. It seems to me like the fix is in.

Jim Gaffigan 18:29 Well, let me ask you this. All right, so a logical... A c- any comedian would look at that and go, "All right, so..."... somebody in the Justice Department was like, "He-

Joe Rogan 18:39 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 18:39 ... donated a lot to our people. Let's make this go away." But here's, here's a question I have. So, uh, there is that, uh, the, and there, there, that level of corruption. But do you look at that level of corruption and see it as equal to what Trump has been repeatedly busted as? Do you see those as equal or do you see, like, um, that as... 'Cause, you know, like, I, I wonder if... Like, to me, it's like, th- you know, like, i- like, the indictments against Trump, I'm like, "It's gonna keep going," right? They're gonna... There's gonna be more things. Whereas, like, this is vague corruption. I'm not justifying it, but, like, I feel like some people see this as totally equal.

Joe Rogan 19:32 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 19:32 You think both sides are equally bad.

Joe Rogan 19:35 It's that, uh, uh, uh, you would have to go over the case, right? Because the way it's been described to me and the way the CEO was looking at it, he was saying that this is fraud. This is like straight out fraud. It's financial fraud. And they were, they were taking, uh, clients' money and using it in a way that they were not supposed to. They were funneling it off to Almeida.

Jim Gaffigan 19:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:57 He was not being honest about his connections to that. I don't know all the absolute specifics of the case, but the way it's been described to me is that there w- is not enough regulation in cryptocurrency, and that these people are allowed to do some really shady shit, and that these people took it to the, the, uh, to the far end of this.

Jim Gaffigan 20:20 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:20 And, you know, they were making insane amounts of money and they were doing amphetamines, and they were hanging out and having this polyamorous lifestyle with these bunch of super nerds banging each other.

Jim Gaffigan 20:29 But you shouldn't go... You shouldn't go to jail for that. Not yet.

Joe Rogan 20:32 Not for banging each other. No, I think that's fun. I'm-

Jim Gaffigan 20:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:35 I'm happy that they get to live like that.

Jim Gaffigan 20:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:37 Like these socially awkward weirdos, all of a sudden they're super rich.

Jim Gaffigan 20:41 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:41 If they were doing it above ball- above ground rather, if everything was cool, I would be celebrating them. I'd be like, "Yay, look at these..." They won.

Jim Gaffigan 20:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:47 But a lot of people lost a lot of money. And, you know, there was also, they were, they were being exposed by competitors, by Binance, and then it turns out that Binance is fucked too.

Jim Gaffigan 21:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:01 And they're up their ass with a microscope, and they might have all sorts of problems with fraud and all sorts of other things that are being lobbied against them or l- or, or leveled against them. I don't know. You know, it's, it's a lot of complicated financial stuff that's outside of my realm of understanding.

Jim Gaffigan 21:20 Yeah, it, it is interesting, 'cause the basic premise... A- again, I know nothing about crypto. But isn't the basic premise of crypto is, like, there's no regulations. That's...

Joe Rogan 21:32 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 21:33 This currency is outside of... It's not tied to the dollar. It's, you know, it's, uh, you know, uh, it's... There's an independence there. Whereas, so you can't compare that to Martha Stewart going to jail for insider trading, right?

Joe Rogan 21:50 Well, yeah. I mean, the Martha Stewart thing is interesting, because Congress does what she did all the time. Th- I mean, they get a- access to information.

Jim Gaffigan 22:00 Oh, yeah. They- that happened during the pandemic.

Joe Rogan 22:02 They place uh... Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:02 They... Tons of times.

Joe Rogan 22:03 I mean, and it's not just a Democrat thing. Everybody points to Nancy Pelosi. It's Republican.

Jim Gaffigan 22:09 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:09 It's, like, literally 100% black and white. I mean, excuse me, red and blue. It's like across the board.

Jim Gaffigan 22:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:15 They're all doing it. And it's just something that I think everyone does that's there. They, they understand, like, bills that are gonna be passed and then, and then they immediately start buying stocks. And they've always done that.

Jim Gaffigan 22:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:27 And it's one of the reasons why they wanna be congressman in the first place, because they have access to that information.

Jim Gaffigan 22:31 And it's, it's one of the reasons why they go in, uh, with a certain income and leave millionaires (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 22:39 Just, not just millionaires, like insanely rich, hundreds of millions of dollars for, uh, you know, six-figure salaries.

Jim Gaffigan 22:45 Wow.

Joe Rogan 22:46 Yeah. Look, Nancy Pelosi is a better stock trader than both Warren Buffet and George Soros.

Jim Gaffigan 22:53 Her, her husband is, uh, an investment guy, right?

Joe Rogan 22:56 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 22:56 Or he was an investment guy.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Well, he is when he works with her.

Jim Gaffigan 22:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:59 Like she knows things, he bets. He, you know, he, he places the, the stock options and whee.

Jim Gaffigan 23:06 Right, and it's... But, but also-

Joe Rogan 23:07 And then he gets hit in the head with a hammer.

Jim Gaffigan 23:08 I mean, I remember, like, the, all the, the senators that pulled out, right? Like Richard Burr and Kelly Loeffler and all these guys, right when the pandemic... Uh, and they, they, they removed... They sold their stocks and then they said, "Everything's fine," right? So it's like some of it is selling stocks, it's not necessarily even buying them.

Joe Rogan 23:29 Sure. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 23:31 But, yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:32 But it's having information that would allow you to make an, uh, not just an educated guess, but you know what's going to happen. You know what's going to happen, and you know that because of these decisions that are being passed, that these companies are gonna become far more valuable because they've got certain deals, and then you bet on that. And that's what it is. And it's insider trading, we all know it is.

Jim Gaffigan 23:55 Yeah. It's, it's... You know, there's the corruption but it's also like that... 'Cause I have a 19-year-old daughter, and, um, she's amazing. And she is not... Like, if, if, if I brought up the idea of her pursuing a career based on financial security, she would be offended. And I, and I say that with a little bit of a joke because I also remember... Like the comedians, people that go into comedy are not like, "Well, you know, we didn't know it was gonna be this type of business." We went into it because it was, uh, you know, creatively fulfilling to get on stage and make strangers laugh. And, but, like, there is something, uh, at least for me, uh, having five kids, it's like I really didn't care about money.... uh, you know, in my 30s, I remember when my parents died and people were pick- you know, like, we, all my siblings came around and we were getting stuff, and I was like, "I'll take the immigration papers. You guys can have the rest." And so, like, I was the youngest, but, like, the point I'm getting to, as you get older, once you get a taste for comfort-

Joe Rogan 25:05 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 25:06 ... it's ... You know, 'cause I've tried to articulate to my children, you know, money is about freedom. You know, it's like the freedom to, like, afford to go on a date, you know?

Joe Rogan 25:16 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 25:16 The, the freedom of independence, like, I don't have to ask mom and dad for my help, for help. And so... But there is a, a, you know, the perspective that changes, and I'm not saying all people, but, like, when you're 20, "All right, do I have enough money to get beer?" You know what I mean? As opposed to, like, when you're 40, you're like, "All right, I might need knee replacement surgery." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:43 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 25:43 Do you get what I'm saying?

Joe Rogan 25:44 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 25:44 And, like, there is some, you know, comforts. You like comforts, right?

Joe Rogan 25:50 Yeah. You don't wanna struggle.

Jim Gaffigan 25:51 Right?

Joe Rogan 25:51 And you don't wanna be scared as to where your next paycheck's coming from.

Jim Gaffigan 25:54 Yeah, I mean, I, I fly, you know, commercial, and I fly, uh, you know, business class, and it's amazing. And I don't, you know, like if I have a gig and they're like, you know, I'd, you know, I would have to, uh, fly in coach, I'm like, "I don't know if I wanna do it." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:17 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 26:17 (laughs) Do you know what I mean? Like I'm kind of a-

Joe Rogan 26:21 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 26:21 ... you know? It's like, uh, is it worth being really uncomfortable for a bunch of hours? Like, I have, uh, like, I live in New York and I work at, um, um, the, W- Wynn has ... Wynn's a great casino, right? And they have this theater and it's a great thing. And so there used to be all these direct flights from New York that, I mean, there's tons, but there were some lie-flat things. And they were like-

Joe Rogan 26:46 Lie flat?

Jim Gaffigan 26:47 Yes. So, like, where you g- y- you know, it's like the seat turns into a bed.

Joe Rogan 26:51 Oh, lie flat. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 26:52 And so from New York, it's like a five-hour flight. And so they essentially started getting rid of those things, and I'm like, "I don't know if I wanna perform in Vegas anymore." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:03 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 27:03 It's like I'm such a baby. I'm like, "LA? Yeah, no, there's lie-flat. I'll do that."

Joe Rogan 27:08 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 27:08 Anyway. I'm just trying to impress everyone with my, uh, my toughness. My mental grit.

Joe Rogan 27:15 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 27:15 Baby can't h- if, uh, uh, baby can't be uncomfortable for a couple of hours.

Joe Rogan 27:19 You can definitely get used to comfort.

Jim Gaffigan 27:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:22 Yeah. But it's probably not good for kids to grow up that comfortable.

Jim Gaffigan 27:28 No.

Joe Rogan 27:28 It's interesting. You know, it's like we all ... Everyone that I know that's interesting had a pretty shitty childhood, and rough, and difficult, and a lot of problems, and ... But i- none of those people want that for their children, even though it made them the most interesting people that I know, 'cause they g- got through some w- hard times and difficult childhoods and struggle, and they developed discipline and character and, you know, uh, uh, the ability to overcome adversity.

Jim Gaffigan 27:59 I mean, it is, uh, parenting is terrifying.

Joe Rogan 28:03 It is.

Jim Gaffigan 28:03 It's terrifying.

Joe Rogan 28:05 It's a complicated world, and it seems more complicated.

Jim Gaffigan 28:06 'Cause you know you're gonna suck at it, but it's like how much damage can you do?

Joe Rogan 28:11 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 28:11 (laughs) Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:12 And how much damage does the world do?

Jim Gaffigan 28:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:15 Yeah. It's not just you. It's like what, what are your children getting exposed to at school? What are your children getting exposed to on the streets?

Jim Gaffigan 28:20 Yeah, 'cause when they, th- th- they reach a certain age where, like, you can hear them actively not listening to you.

Joe Rogan 28:27 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 28:27 And you're like, "Oh, I hope your peer group is communicating some of this stuff, 'cause I've said it six times and you're obviously not hearing it." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 28:36 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 28:37 It's really ... And it's when, you know, when you have young kids, you think, oh ... 'Cause I think our society, we kinda portray, "You know, babies, oh, I couldn't sleep last night. My baby was crying, I had to change poopy diapers." And that's the easy part.

Joe Rogan 28:52 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 28:52 That's the easy part.

Joe Rogan 28:53 Yeah, that's just the lack of sleep.

Jim Gaffigan 28:55 Yeah. But, like, when it's Saturday night and they're out and you're like, "What? Where are they?"

Joe Rogan 29:01 Right. Going to parties.

Jim Gaffigan 29:03 It's terrifying.

Joe Rogan 29:04 Yeah, and who knows what's happening at these parties.

Jim Gaffigan 29:07 Yeah, and again it's also ... I mean, there is, you know, there has been, you know, again, going back to, like, these, these teenage kids, I would say, like, 13 to 19. I mean, like, you know, up. You know, some of 'em missed graduation from high school, some, you know, some of it was just a year, some people it was two years. But it is w- social media.

Joe Rogan 29:35 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 29:35 It's like also, you know, uh, you know, the generation of our comedians, you know, we were ... I mean, how many benefits did you do about legalizing pot, decriminalizing pot? Let's get rid- rid of, uh, all these rules. And then, so what happens in Manhattan is it's decriminalized, right? So, like, every bodega is selling weed, but since it's decriminalized, the police are like, "We don't, we got enough on our hands, so we're not ..." And it's decriminalized, so we're not-

Joe Rogan 30:08 I think it's legal in New York now.

Jim Gaffigan 30:10 Well, but here's the, here's what happens is that, like, my barber opens a weed shop. Everyone has a weed shop. But unlike LA where it's, it feels organized, in New York it's a little bit of the wild wild west. And so there's these two stores and, again, there's no supervision, so one store starts selling mushrooms. You know, kind of like discreetly. Some of them starts, you know, they'll sell it to a kid that's 13, whereas in LA and Colorado, I don't think that happens.

Joe Rogan 30:41 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 30:42 And so as a result, what's happening in New York is that there's kids that, like, are getting stuff that, since it's not regulated-... they're getting stuff that's laced with stuff. And so, instead of g- smoking, you know, s- bending your 16 y- your age of 16 years old smoking oregano for three months, these kids are smoking some of the most powerful stuff that's laced with shit. And then there's kids that are, like, you know, there's kids jumping off buildings. You know what I mean? And the thing is, is like it's not talked about because it's, it's, you know, some of these wealthy parents, there's so much shame about... I mean, I have no idea. I can't even contemplate what it would be like. But, like, it's not in the news. It's not like, you know, where I grew up in Indiana. It's like, "Oh, that town, there's meth there." You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 31:36 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 31:36 It's not like that. It's like there is a cover-up. Like, this kid was gonna go to this great college and he got stoned off of a vape pen that was laced with s- you know, um, you know, whatever that stuff that they get from China.

Joe Rogan 31:50 Fentanyl?

Jim Gaffigan 31:51 Yeah. And he jumps off a building. And the kid wasn't suicidal. The kid wasn't a total fuck-up. It was... And so instead of that being in the news, the family's like, you know, it's, it's brutal. And again, it's, it's very similar to, uh, you know, just the mental health crisis. It's a tsunami, what these kids are facing.

Joe Rogan 32:15 Yeah, there's a lot going on. The, the fentanyl thing is a giant issue. It's, it's killing 100,000 people every year in this country, fentanyl overdoses, young people.

Jim Gaffigan 32:25 And why is... I mean, you know, that's a lot of people.

Joe Rogan 32:30 It's a lot of people.

Jim Gaffigan 32:32 And is, uh, w- is there... All right, so we... Now, you ever heard about how this is, like, in response to the Opium Wars? Did you ever hear about that?

Joe Rogan 32:41 That it's in response to the Opium Wars?

Jim Gaffigan 32:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:43 How so?

Jim Gaffigan 32:43 So, like, so, uh, y- you know, I've performed in China a couple of times. Now I'm never gonna be able to perform there after saying this. But, like, essentially, during the Opium Wars, is, like, the British were trying to take over China and they were trying to trade, and essentially nothing was working. So, what they essentially did is they got an entire generation of Chinese addicted to opium, and they d- stabilized, and then they could take it over.

Joe Rogan 33:11 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 33:12 And so... And the British did a lot of nice things in India and all over the world. (laughs) But this is, like, one of the things that, uh, you know, among the expats in, uh, that were per- performing standup in China would, would tell me about, is that, like, "Oh, yeah, this fentanyl is all kind of like revenge for that."

Joe Rogan 33:35 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 33:36 And that... So, they, they make it. They sell it to the, the p- you know, the cartels in Mexico, and it's just gonna get in. But, like, so what is the... 'Cause the r- the question is, what is the motivation behind them doing this? It is kind of like you hold a grudge.

Joe Rogan 33:54 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 33:55 You know? It's like you literally, you know, this great nation that has d- uh, you know, thousands year more history than most Western countries was essentially the British came in and they drugged 'em. And I can just see my comments right now. "You know nothing, you know nothing-"

Joe Rogan 34:16 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 34:16 "... you know nothing." And by the way, I do know nothing, but this is what... It's, it's an interesting explanation, right?

Joe Rogan 34:24 Well, the Opium War is a historical fact.

Jim Gaffigan 34:26 Yes.

Joe Rogan 34:26 Yeah. That's-

Jim Gaffigan 34:27 But, like-

Joe Rogan 34:27 ... that's real.

Jim Gaffigan 34:27 But, like, that, that's the reasoning behind fentanyl, uh, being kind of sold to the cartels and why it's being funneled up there.

Joe Rogan 34:37 I think it probably has a factor.

Jim Gaffigan 34:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:39 And I think, you know, the factor is just financial interest. It's just-

Jim Gaffigan 34:41 It's just so cheap, right?

Joe Rogan 34:42 It's so cheap. They make the, the precursors. They, they bring them over to f- Mexico. They sell them to the cartels, and they produce fentanyl. And United States has a massive appetite for illegal drugs, and it's also part of the war on drugs because of the fact that it's illegal, it's very difficult to get, and you have to get it from criminals, so it pumps up the criminals. So, the, the cartels make insane amounts of money, and they have a, a business in bringing stuff across the border into America. Uh, there's a, there, there's also a financial interest in the fact that fentanyl is very cheap and it's very potent, so you don't need a lot of it, and you can lace things with fentanyl. So, when people are buying, like, street Xanax or street M- MDMA-

Jim Gaffigan 35:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:27 ... a lot of it is laced. A lot of it is laced to provide additional effects so that it's, uh, effective even though it's watered down and cut down, like the cocaine.

Jim Gaffigan 35:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:36 You know, they cut it and they add fentanyl to it, and a lot of people are dying from the fentanyl.

Jim Gaffigan 35:41 That's insane.

Joe Rogan 35:41 It's insane. I mean...

Jim Gaffigan 35:43 And we lived through the, the crack era-

Joe Rogan 35:46 Yeah, which is nothing.

Jim Gaffigan 35:46 ... where, like, crack was like... Crack is like, there's the, the devastating effects of it.

Joe Rogan 35:53 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 35:53 And so-

Joe Rogan 35:54 It's nothing compared to fentanyl.

Jim Gaffigan 35:56 And meth, we lived through meth.

Joe Rogan 35:57 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 35:59 You know? Meth's really gotta pick up their game.

Joe Rogan 36:01 Well, Adderall took their, their, their fucking, their throne. Now everyone's on Adderall and you can get it from a doctor.

Jim Gaffigan 36:08 It's, it's... Oh, here, let me... Here's something I wanna ask. So, like, energy... And I could just ask Sagara and, uh, um, Bert this, but are they on, like, um, testosterone?

Joe Rogan 36:22 Bert? I'm f-

Jim Gaffigan 36:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:23 Yeah, definitely.

Jim Gaffigan 36:25 But, you know, like, how is th- uh, how is that... How can I get that?

Joe Rogan 36:29 You can. You go to a doctor.

Jim Gaffigan 36:31 And is it like-

Joe Rogan 36:32 Do you want it?

Jim Gaffigan 36:33 Well, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 36:34 I can get you hooked up.

Jim Gaffigan 36:35 I mean, is it gonna... I- I'm not gonna-

Joe Rogan 36:36 You'll feel a lot better.

Jim Gaffigan 36:37 ... murder my family, are I? Am I?

Joe Rogan 36:39 No, no, no, no, no.

Jim Gaffigan 36:41 All right, sure.

Joe Rogan 36:41 You didn't murder your family-

Jim Gaffigan 36:42 Then I don't want-

Joe Rogan 36:42 ... when you were 30, did you?

Jim Gaffigan 36:43 Then I don't want it.

Joe Rogan 36:45 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 36:46 (laughs) No, but like energy-wise-

Joe Rogan 36:49 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 36:49 ... stamina. I've never been an energetic person. You're, I know people are listening, they're like, "No, Jim, you?"

Joe Rogan 36:56 He's being humble.

Jim Gaffigan 36:57 Uh, but...Yeah, so that would be, um-

Joe Rogan 37:00 You would have more energy, for sure.

Jim Gaffigan 37:01 I'd have more energy.

Joe Rogan 37:02 Sure. Your immune system would work better. Everything would work better.

Jim Gaffigan 37:05 So why isn't everyone just on it, testing?

Joe Rogan 37:06 Well, a lot of people are. There's a lot more people on testosterone replacement.

Jim Gaffigan 37:09 I mean, besides Sylvester Stallone, who else is... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:13 Robert Kennedy Jr.

Jim Gaffigan 37:14 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 37:14 Yeah, he's on it.

Jim Gaffigan 37:16 So yeah, he does seem like he's-

Joe Rogan 37:18 He's really fit. He's impressively fit.

Jim Gaffigan 37:20 He's 69?

Joe Rogan 37:21 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 37:22 Wow.

Joe Rogan 37:23 Yeah, he works out every day. Goes to Gold's Gym in Venice. Works out with jeans on.

Jim Gaffigan 37:28 Is that why he talks like this?

Joe Rogan 37:29 No. He talks like that because of an illness.

Jim Gaffigan 37:32 Oh, yeah. So I shouldn't make light of it.

Joe Rogan 37:33 Yeah, look at him.

Jim Gaffigan 37:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:35 He's buff.

Jim Gaffigan 37:36 That's crazy. He's... Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 37:38 69 out there doing push-ups and shit with jeans on. I don't know why the jeans on. That seems calculated. Seems like they would get in the way.

Jim Gaffigan 37:47 I think it's a you thing.

Joe Rogan 37:48 Yeah? Wear the jeans?

Jim Gaffigan 37:49 I would never look at him and think he's 69.

Joe Rogan 37:52 He's in great shape.

Jim Gaffigan 37:53 Right?

Joe Rogan 37:54 But he also takes very good care of himself. Eats right.

Jim Gaffigan 37:57 How important is the plunge pool? Or is that just a trend? Is that Zumba for today?

Joe Rogan 38:03 No, it's real. It, it has...

Jim Gaffigan 38:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:06 Without a doubt, it has great physiological and mental benefits. I do it every day.

Jim Gaffigan 38:11 Wow.

Joe Rogan 38:12 It sucks. Today was hard.

Jim Gaffigan 38:14 It was hard.

Joe Rogan 38:14 'Cause I was up late last night, hanging out at the club, got home.

Jim Gaffigan 38:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:18 The alarm clock went off. I'm like, "Fuck." And just-

Jim Gaffigan 38:22 And is, it's, like, in a room?

Joe Rogan 38:23 No, it's outside. Which is nice, 'cause it's hot out, so at least I got some sun on my face while my body's freezing.

Jim Gaffigan 38:30 And it is just-

Joe Rogan 38:31 It's hard.

Jim Gaffigan 38:32 It's... And how long are you in there?

Joe Rogan 38:34 Three minutes.

Jim Gaffigan 38:35 And, but you get out, and you're like, "This is amazing."

Joe Rogan 38:38 You get out, and immediately, you get this rush of endorphins, this rush of norepinephrine and dopamine, and it lasts for hours.

Jim Gaffigan 38:48 Is it-

Joe Rogan 38:48 They say it's a 200, 200% increase in dopamine that lasts for four to six hours.

Jim Gaffigan 38:53 And it's not just, like, your body saying, "Thank you for getting her out of there." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:57 It's, uh, that probably has something to do with it.

Jim Gaffigan 38:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:00 Um, it's cold shock proteins. It's your body responding to this imminent threat of death, so it produces these antiinflammatory proteins.

Jim Gaffigan 39:08 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 39:09 That's really good for you. And, and not just... And it's great for your endocrine system. It increases your testosterone when you do that and then work out.

Jim Gaffigan 39:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:17 There's studies that show that. But it's great for your mental health. Your, your, mental... Like a lot of people that have anxiety and suffer from depression, they've gotten off meds because they've started doing daily cold plunges.

Jim Gaffigan 39:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:29 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 39:29 I would totally be open as long as it wasn't cold.

Joe Rogan 39:32 Yeah, it's a fucking struggle, man.

Jim Gaffigan 39:34 But you know what's-

Joe Rogan 39:35 But it's only three minutes.

Jim Gaffigan 39:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:36 The thing is, it's like three-minutes passes in normal times, so easy. When you're comfortable right now, like we can go through three minutes, and it's nothing. You just gotta just go through it. Just go through th- the three minutes. It's only three minutes. It sucks, but while it sucks, you just deal with it. You just breathe and deal with it, and then after three minutes, you get out and immediately you feel amazing. Like, wow. Like, if there was a drug that you could take that gives you the feeling that you get right out of the cold plunge, it would be insanely popular. If there was, like, a mint that you could pop in your mouth that you get from the-

Jim Gaffigan 40:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:08 ... fucking gas station, everybody would be taking it. You know all these kids are on vape pens 'cause they get a little, woo, they get a little lightheaded and get a little high? You would take that pill, the, the post-cold plunge pill every day. You'd feel great. It'd be great for everybody.

Jim Gaffigan 40:23 Wow.

Joe Rogan 40:23 But it's not a pill. It's a fucking arduous, difficult routine. It sucks.

Jim Gaffigan 40:29 Wow.

Joe Rogan 40:29 But it's only three minutes. It's not that big a deal. Just get in there, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." Say "fuck", you know, 360 times. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 40:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 40:38 Take a bunch of breaths.

Jim Gaffigan 40:40 And it's... And so... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:43 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 40:43 But then, you know, then you gotta get an ice maker.

Joe Rogan 40:45 Sauna is great for you too.

Jim Gaffigan 40:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:47 Well, you don't have to get an ice maker.

Jim Gaffigan 40:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:48 You get one of these machines that just keeps it cold all the time.

Jim Gaffigan 40:51 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 40:51 Yeah, they have these cold plunge machines. Like, we have one here, it's called a Blue Cube. We have one at home, it's called a Morosko Forge, and it's 34 degrees. The water is just above freezing, you get in there, and you just fucking suffer for three minutes and you feel great.

Jim Gaffigan 41:06 Wow.

Joe Rogan 41:07 All aches and pains and everything just sort of feels better. You get out of there, ooh.

Jim Gaffigan 41:10 And so some of it is physical-

Joe Rogan 41:12 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 41:12 ... and some of it is, you know, the physical that leads to mental... You know, so you feel b- You know, 'cause I, I'm sure that I speak for you also. It's like, I feel mentally balanced after I do standup.

Joe Rogan 41:27 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 41:27 Like, the... It's not just a high, it's not a low. It's like if I'm really high before I do a set, I'm kind of even keel. If I'm kind of exhausted, it gives me a boost. There's...

Joe Rogan 41:38 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 41:39 And so when I, you know, think about, like, uh, things that are, like, for mental health, and, you know, for me it sounds kinda corny, but I have, I, during the pandemic, I started gardening, and it is amazing. It sounds... And I know, I'm, you know, trying to... People are like, "My grandma gardens." But it is... I mean, some of it is I wanted to be a farmer, I, you know, when I was in eighth grade. But, like, the, farmers are happy. Like, there is something about their, about the meditative nature. There's also, you plant something and you come out and there's... You f- Sometimes there's, uh, a huge amount of peppers. It's like Christmas morning.

Joe Rogan 42:24 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 42:24 And sometimes it's a disaster, but it's, it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 42:28 It's a complicated task.

Jim Gaffigan 42:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:30 And interesting. Yeah, it, it, it engages you.

Jim Gaffigan 42:33 And it's...

Joe Rogan 42:33 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 42:34 And there is something about... 'Cause I see the, you know, that the happiest people are farmers, and I'm like, "That makes perfect sense."

Joe Rogan 42:42 Uh, is that real?

Jim Gaffigan 42:43 I think so.

Joe Rogan 42:43 The happiest people are farmers? I would imagine that providing people with food also feels good, being a provider, and just the, the whole... I think there's probably, like, a genetic co- component to it. There's a long history of human beings farming, and so I think i- there's also, like, built-in human reward systems based on certain behavior that you know leads to success and survival, and I would imagine that farming is on that list.

Jim Gaffigan 43:09 Yeah. I think it's, uh...... it, it's, it's very-- it, it's just amazing how-

Joe Rogan 43:15 It's just cool anyway.

Jim Gaffigan 43:17 It is.

Joe Rogan 43:17 You know, you plant some seeds, you see the sprouts grow up.

Jim Gaffigan 43:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 43:19 It's cool.

Jim Gaffigan 43:20 It's amazing. I mean-

Joe Rogan 43:22 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 43:22 ... just-- and all the different plants and what you do to help the plant, and-

Joe Rogan 43:27 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 43:28 I mean, it's just insane how-

Joe Rogan 43:29 And it's a great way to get food.

Jim Gaffigan 43:31 And it, and it encourages you to eat healthier.

Joe Rogan 43:33 Yeah, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 43:34 'Cause if you grow something, you're like, "We're gonna eat this celery."

Joe Rogan 43:37 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 43:37 And it's like, besides that time, I've never eaten celery.

Joe Rogan 43:41 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 43:42 (laughs) Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 43:43 It's also you know there's no pesticides on it.

Jim Gaffigan 43:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:45 There's no herbicides. You're just getting organic vegetables.

Jim Gaffigan 43:49 And then it's like this math puzzle where you sit there and you go, "All right, so you do the companion plants, and, you know, this deters-"

Joe Rogan 43:56 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 43:56 "... this pest, and so-"

Joe Rogan 43:58 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 43:59 All the answers are there. It's like we just kind of, like, I think even, like, celery is an example. Like, there's no reason why someone, like if you- you can grow your own celery, you should never have to buy celery. Like, if you chop it off and-

Joe Rogan 44:16 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 44:16 ... and come back, it'll grow back.

Joe Rogan 44:18 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 44:19 So, like, the fact that, like, we go and buy a huge thing of celery is so foreign to, like, our great-grandparents.

Joe Rogan 44:27 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 44:27 Like, you would never buy celery. You could just easily grow it.

Joe Rogan 44:30 My grandparents in New Jersey, my grandfather had a big garden in his backyard. This- most of his backyard was fenced in and he was growing tomato plants and squash-

Jim Gaffigan 44:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:40 ... and zucchini and all these different things, and my grandmother always made tomato sauce from the tomatoes from my grandfather's garden, and it was amazing.

Jim Gaffigan 44:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:50 Just the tomatoes themselves, those New Jersey beefsteak tomatoes-

Jim Gaffigan 44:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:54 ... they were all organic and they, they were like a fruit.

Jim Gaffigan 44:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:57 It was so much different than the pale supermarket tomatoes-

Jim Gaffigan 45:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:00 ... that last for months on the shelf.

Jim Gaffigan 45:02 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 45:02 Those things are bastardized.

Jim Gaffigan 45:04 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 45:05 Like, heirloom tomatoes? That's what a tomato's supposed to be like, those-

Jim Gaffigan 45:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:09 ... delicious, sweet, succulent tomatoes.

Jim Gaffigan 45:12 Yeah. And you're like-

Joe Rogan 45:13 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 45:13 ... this is actually good.

Joe Rogan 45:15 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 45:16 I could see eating this. Like, uh, even kale, I, you know I have material on kale, and I've, I've grown kale and I'm like, all right, you know, this is better than the, you know, 'cause of course the time I had kale 10 or 15 years ago, it was just bitter. It was probably old kale.

Joe Rogan 45:33 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 45:33 You know what I mean? That had bolted or whatever, so.

Joe Rogan 45:37 Well, kale has a lot of oxalates in it, so I used to drink, um, uh, kale smoothies every morning, and then I started reading up on kidney stones and problems with oxalates when you eat raw vegetables in, like, high quantities. There's a lot of people that drink a lot of those veggie shakes in the morning with ground up vegetables that wind up getting problems with oxalates. They, they-

Jim Gaffigan 46:00 Really?

Joe Rogan 46:01 ... they say, yeah, they say it's actually for some vegetables, it's actually better to cook them.

Jim Gaffigan 46:05 Really?

Joe Rogan 46:05 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 46:06 'Cause I- isn't celery supposed to decrease inflammation?

Joe Rogan 46:11 Celery's supposed to clean you out. There's, like, properties in celery that are supposed to be really good for digestive issues and to clean you out. Celery juice is great. It's, it's a good thing in the morning too, it kinda gets, gets your whole fucking bowel system moving.

Jim Gaffigan 46:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:26 You know?

Jim Gaffigan 46:27 And so do you have one cheat day 'cause, you know, we've talked about Italian food that-

Joe Rogan 46:32 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 46:32 ... that's, uh, you know-

Joe Rogan 46:33 That's my fucking-

Jim Gaffigan 46:34 ... Vetri's place in Philadelphia.

Joe Rogan 46:35 Italian food and Mexican food.

Jim Gaffigan 46:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:36 Those are my, those are my vices.

Jim Gaffigan 46:38 And is it once a week or it... (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 46:41 Yeah, once a week I'll have something every now and again, depend- like we were in the Bronx, I was in New York, uh, a couple weeks ago, and we went to this, uh, sandwich shop in the Bronx, G&R Deli, and we had these massive Italian subs. It was fucking incredible.

Jim Gaffigan 46:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:55 And I'm like, when I'm eating that, I'm not thinking at all about health.

Jim Gaffigan 46:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:59 It's al- it's mangia, you know?

Jim Gaffigan 47:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:01 It's like hanging out with, uh, these wild Italians eating their fucking incredible food.

Jim Gaffigan 47:06 And do you feel the consequences of, you know, eating bread when you don't-

Joe Rogan 47:11 Look at that.

Jim Gaffigan 47:11 ... normally?

Joe Rogan 47:12 Come on, look at that.

Jim Gaffigan 47:13 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 47:13 That's the spot. What I felt like afterwards? Yeah, I felt like I ate a brick. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 47:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:19 But it was so good. It-

Jim Gaffigan 47:21 Wow.

Joe Rogan 47:21 You know, I just think there's also pleasure in food that I really enjoy, and that's one of the things that I really enjoy about Italian food, uh, really enjoy about Mexican food. I just love the pleasure of eating these delicious meals, and I know they're not good for you. You know, if I'm eating linguini with clams-

Jim Gaffigan 47:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:37 ... I'm under no illusion that I'm eating health food.

Jim Gaffigan 47:40 It is fascinating how different cultures excel at cooking.

Joe Rogan 47:45 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 47:46 Right? So, like, the Italians, amazing, but, like, right above Italy is Austria, and I'm not saying Austria has horrible food, but, like, you know, w- you know, I've been to Vienna, I did a show there, it's like you get deep fried, you know, uh, whatever that dish is. But, like, some of it is, like, the, the, you know, you go to Mexico, it's like that's the home of, you know, the, the people of the sun and all those fruits and peppers and there's a pepper for every kinda state in Mexico, and some of it is geography, but some of it is just, like, they're- they really care.

Joe Rogan 48:27 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 48:27 Right? And they've taken the time to figure out how to eat good stuff.

Joe Rogan 48:31 Eating good stuff and being together with the family when you all sit around and enjoy a great meal together. There's a, there's a lot to that. There's a lot to- I mean, eating, like, boring, healthy food and just sitting around not enjoying it, there's no benefit to that other than health. But the benefit when you're eating delicious food, you're having a glass of wine and-

Jim Gaffigan 48:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:54 ... uh, you know, a great lasagna, it's like, oh...

Jim Gaffigan 48:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:58 Oh, this is an enjoyment.

Jim Gaffigan 49:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:00 This is- this is like celebration of life and of pleasure.

Jim Gaffigan 49:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:04 There's something to that for sure.

Jim Gaffigan 49:06 It is. I mean, why is, like, so Thailand, the food's amazing.

Joe Rogan 49:10 Amazing. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 49:11 Amazing, like-... you, you never hear someone go, "You know what? We gotta get this Laotian food." I mean, it's right there.

Joe Rogan 49:19 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 49:19 (laughs) Do you know what I mean? It's like-

Joe Rogan 49:21 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 49:21 But some of that's the influence of, you know, the spices that are probably in-

Joe Rogan 49:26 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 49:26 ... Thailand, and you know. But, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 49:29 Yeah, it's history. It's a history of great chefs and great cuisine, you know. And it's, there's pride in that history. And it's passed down from generation to generation.

Jim Gaffigan 49:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:38 There's that, too. There's a lot, you know. But the celebration of food and of eating, it's, it's, uh, you know, it's an art form.

Jim Gaffigan 49:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:46 Food is an art form and, and chefs are artists. And when you have a great meal, you're not just consuming nutrients. You're also, like, taking in this flavor art.

Jim Gaffigan 49:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:57 Yeah. So, I eat mostly healthy. But if I'm going to go to, you know, Los Angeles and I'm, you know, I'm only there for one night and, uh, I get, I have a chance to go to a great Italian restaurant-

Jim Gaffigan 50:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:12 ... you know, I'll, you know, I'm gonna eat.

Jim Gaffigan 50:13 You'll treat yourself.

Joe Rogan 50:14 I'm gonna eat. Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 50:14 But wait a minute. So, like, if you get- if you have some drinks during the week or whatever, is, is- but you have the willpower 'cause isn't that the problem is that you make the bad decisions? It's also when you eat, right?

Joe Rogan 50:28 And then you keep going. Then you go out for burgers at two o'clock in the morning.

Jim Gaffigan 50:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:32 Yeah. Yeah, you definitely can do that. It's just- the most important thing is, like, what is the m- majority of your diet and the majority of your time? Is the majority of your time spent doing healthy activities and being physically fit and eating right and taking vitamins and doing the sauna, a cold plunge, and all, all this other stuff? Or, is the majority of your time spent eating burgers and cheese and fucking drinking beer-

Jim Gaffigan 50:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:58 ... and fucking off? Then you're gonna have n- negative consequences.

Jim Gaffigan 51:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:02 I think as long as the, the absolute majority of your time is spent doing healthy things, then you just enjoy yourself on these one- like, The Rock has, like, this cheat day he does-

Jim Gaffigan 51:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:11 ... every- and it's legendary.

Jim Gaffigan 51:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:12 He takes photos and videos of it, the-

Jim Gaffigan 51:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:14 ... giant stacks of pancakes with-

Jim Gaffigan 51:16 Yeah, it's like he's employed like four ch-

Joe Rogan 51:18 ... maple syrup. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 51:18 ... four chefs.

Joe Rogan 51:19 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 51:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:20 Huge trays of sushi.

Jim Gaffigan 51:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:22 But, you know, obviously you look at him, he's doing something right. He's very lean, he's very healthy, and he just has one day where he goes off the rails. And that is like, for him, it's like a mental health break from the rigor of just-

Jim Gaffigan 51:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:36 ... sheer discipline that he exhibits every day. You know, getting up in the morning, hours of cardio and weightlifting and all this d- stuff that he does. So then the one day, he just goes ham.

Jim Gaffigan 51:48 Right.

Joe Rogan 51:48 I think there's nothing wrong with that and I think your body can absolutely recover from that. Your body knows what to do with that. It just burns through all that shit and then you're back on the grind the next day.

Jim Gaffigan 51:58 And so when you consider- so you're a b- you enjoy being busy, right? You enjoy-

Joe Rogan 52:04 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 52:04 ... or, you know, you're, you know, I mean, you've got a lot of hats, right? And some of that is, uh, you know, I'm- I feel like, uh, in some ways, I'm very similar. I love standup, I love acting, I love doing different things. Obviously, my family is kind of important. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 52:21 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 52:21 But, like, the- do you ever have a moment where, like, you, you look at the mania, not a- and that's kind of unfair to characterize it as mania, but the pacing?

Joe Rogan 52:32 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 52:33 So, like, even last night, I was talking to my wife. I'm like, "Yeah, I gotta get up at 4:00 so I can get on this flight to go to Austin." She's like, "Why do you- why do you- why do you need to do that? Why do you need to, like..." And I'm like, "Because it's a terrific opportunity." And, you know, some of it is, like, you know, I have this new special and it's like, you know, when we started standup, you know, there was- i- it was a different world. But like this- the- this process of standup is so rewarding. But like, do you ever have a perspective where you're like, "What am I doing?" Do you know what I'm saying? Maybe I'm not making sense.

Joe Rogan 53:13 I know what you're saying.

Jim Gaffigan 53:14 But it's just like, why-

Joe Rogan 53:15 If you're overwhelmed-

Jim Gaffigan 53:16 ... why-

Joe Rogan 53:16 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:16 ... why 10 specials? Why, why, um, 'cause it's fulfilling.

Joe Rogan 53:21 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 53:21 The work is gratifying in itself.

Joe Rogan 53:23 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 53:23 The journey is the thing that's important. But is there something of, you know, also, you know, you don't wanna not take advantage of an opportunity.

Joe Rogan 53:34 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 53:34 You see what I mean? And w- I also know that, like, coming up for- coming up with a new line or a new topic even for jokes is so rewarding and it's- it feeds itself. But like, do you ever look at the pace of your life and think, "Why am I going so hard?"

Joe Rogan 53:55 Occasionally. Yeah, but not most of the time. Most of the time I'm enjoying it.

Jim Gaffigan 53:59 It's-

Joe Rogan 53:59 Because most of the time-

Jim Gaffigan 53:59 ... it is fun.

Joe Rogan 54:00 ... it's way better to be busy doing something you love than to wish you were busy-

Jim Gaffigan 54:04 Oh my gosh.

Joe Rogan 54:04 ... doing something that you love.

Jim Gaffigan 54:05 Yeah. And also having gone through decades of, of not having the opportunity to do what you love.

Joe Rogan 54:14 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 54:14 Or doing it under certain, uh, parameters.

Joe Rogan 54:18 Yeah. And, you know, really struggling.

Jim Gaffigan 54:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:21 And, and, uh, and not, not being financially secure. Not knowing when you will be. Not knowing if you ever will be.

Jim Gaffigan 54:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:27 And then, you know, getting recognition for it, becoming famous for it, having a, a great fan base like you have.

Jim Gaffigan 54:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:33 And now you get to tour. You go, "Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Gaffigan. Yeah."

Jim Gaffigan 54:38 Yeah. No, it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 54:38 And then you get to provide these people with an amazing experience of fun and joy and laughter and they walk outta there, "Oh, and they're just talking about that? Ah." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 54:48 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:49 And they're driving home laughing about it. It's amazing. It's an-

Jim Gaffigan 54:52 It is amazing.

Joe Rogan 54:52 ... amazing job. It's-

Jim Gaffigan 54:53 Amazing job. It's incredible.

Joe Rogan 54:55 It's the best.

Jim Gaffigan 54:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:57 It's the best. And, uh, you know, and having a club n- now and being able to do it in town, like, I could- I do six hours of standup a- a week.

Jim Gaffigan 55:06 Wow.

Joe Rogan 55:06 Two shows on Tuesday, two shows on Wednesday, two shows on Thursday. I do it-

Jim Gaffigan 55:10 Wow.

Joe Rogan 55:10 ... all the time. But for me, it's a balance 'cause then, like, on the weekend, I can work if I want to or I could just hang out with my family. I can-

Jim Gaffigan 55:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:16 ... be at home. I can get stuff done. I can just relax. I, I get all the work that I need to do in, but I also, you know, and like, podcasting for me is-I don't wanna say it's easy, but it's, it's the easiest. It's the, it's fun. It's-

Jim Gaffigan 55:33 It is.

Joe Rogan 55:33 ... you're having conversations with people.

Jim Gaffigan 55:34 You're, you're, you're having conversations, so you're getting the fulfillment because you're talking to friends, you're talking to peers, you're talking to people that you're seeing develop their careers in MMA, and then you're also talking to fascinating people that you're curious about.

Joe Rogan 55:48 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 55:49 I mean, that's what was, that's how brilliant you've curated this too. It's not like, "Ugh, I gotta talk to someone I'm not interested in."

Joe Rogan 55:58 Right. That-

Jim Gaffigan 55:58 Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 55:59 ... I would never. That's the key, I think, to, to podcast success. Only talk to people that you wanna talk to. Only b- like, I book it all myself. I don't have anyone who tells me who has to be on. That never happens. I'm, I'm even reluctant when people are like, "You should get this person on." I'm like, "Mm. Now, I don't really wanna." (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 56:20 (laughs) Well, by the way, that, that's very common, um, there's like movies like that I've wanted, I'm like, "I wanna meet that director," and they'll be like, "Well, you should find a way," because if an agent proposes someone that, that director's not interested in that person.

Joe Rogan 56:37 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 56:38 And, I'm like, "Oh, wow."

Joe Rogan 56:39 When they feel like they're being pushed.

Jim Gaffigan 56:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:41 Yeah. Especially artists. When they have like vision, they have an idea of a thing, and they're trying to put it together in their head and trying to plan it all out, and then someone's like, "You should do this."

Jim Gaffigan 56:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 56:51 "You should," they're like, "Ugh. That's the last thing I wanna do now. Now, you fucked with my vision."

Jim Gaffigan 56:56 And, I think that, you know, that some of, you know, not getting caught up in other people's expectations is, th- that's, that's like the lesson that I personally have to keep relearning. Not like from scratch, but it's like, I g- I guess, I would call it like a relapse where I'm like, "Oh, wait a minute. I only did this because they told me to do it, and I didn't even wanna do this."

Joe Rogan 57:23 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 57:23 Do you know what I mean? Whereas, you know, when I was in my late 20s, I would be like, "What do I do?"

Joe Rogan 57:29 Right, right.

Jim Gaffigan 57:30 You know what I mean? "Should I do that? Okay, I'll do that."

Joe Rogan 57:32 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 57:32 You know?

Joe Rogan 57:32 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 57:33 And, you know, often when you follow your own path, uh, you know, and you're doing things you really care about, then it's, then it's not work.

Joe Rogan 57:43 It's not work. It's enjoyment. Yeah. It's just, it's difficult. Like, you have to work. You have to do some work. Like with standup, you have to write, you have to perform, you have to really think about it, you have to edit your act and put it together.

Jim Gaffigan 57:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:55 But, it's still enjoyable. It's fun.

Jim Gaffigan 57:57 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:57 It's not, I mean, there's a, a giant percentage of our population that does things they don't wanna do all day every day. And that's one of the reasons why people drink so much. They come home, and they just want a break. Like, they just don't want to be there anymore. They wanna change their state.

Jim Gaffigan 58:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:13 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 58:13 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:14 They're escaping.

Jim Gaffigan 58:15 Brutal.

Joe Rogan 58:16 Yeah. I mean, that is the life that a lot of people choose when they choose security. They choose some, like, "Oh, if I do this, I can make that. And, I do this, then I can buy a house. And if I would do that, I could buy a boat. I do this, and then I could get that." And, they're all day long watching that clock, wanting to get the fuck out of there. And then, they get outta there, they go home, they're just, "Ugh, give me a drink."

Jim Gaffigan 58:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:38 And, their family's complaining and the wife is pissed because the gardener fucked something up, and she's like, "Give me my bucket. Ugh."

Jim Gaffigan 58:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:44 "Ugh. Ugh." And then, you just sit there watching TV and yelling at Fox News. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 58:51 Yeah. And then, and I, and there is something about, I mean, I don't think we even m- there's probably people that understand this, but like, this outrage machine is f- it serves such a purpose. And, I'm talking about both sides.

Joe Rogan 59:07 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 59:07 Like, you know, "Fucking Trump."

Joe Rogan 59:10 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 59:10 "Fucking Biden." There is like this, there is this thing that like, it serves something in us that is probably not healthy.

Joe Rogan 59:22 Definitely not healthy.

Jim Gaffigan 59:23 Right?

Joe Rogan 59:24 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 59:24 And it's, it's certainly not constructive. Do you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 59:28 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 59:28 Like, I feel as though, you know, with comedians, we are so used to being around, and I, but w- we're so used to being around people of different points of view and different sensibilities that we grow to love that it's not completely foreign to like... I remember at 4th of July, I had a friend that was like at Occupy Wall Street, and then I had a friend who works at Fox News, and they were there, and they've known each other for 30 years, and it was nothing. It was n- it was not an issue. It was interesting. I mean, I was asking them questions. You know, I'm like, "All right. So what's going on here?"

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:11 And, uh, but there is something, maybe it's because comedians are misfits 'cause I say that also, and I sometimes think like, sometimes people in the entertainment industry are like, "You know, my business is so weird." When the reality is, (laughs) you know, in a bank, in a, you know, in a construction site, there's people of dramatically different opinions too, and they gotta go along to get along.

Joe Rogan 1:00:38 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:38 Right?

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:00:39 But, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 Well, people like being in opposition of other people, and they, they like thinking that those people on that other side are keeping them from living the dream or keeping, you know, this country from being great or keeping, you know, people from prospering and keeping democracy alive, and if we don't defeat them, we're fucked. And, they, they like having this like wild cause. And, there's some validity to it. I mean, there's a lot of real challenging issues in this country.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:05 There are.

Joe Rogan 1:01:05 Like real dangerous, scary issues, and there's a lot of financial interests that are tied up in these dangerous, scary issues, and they will avoid solutions because they're profiting off of the problem itself.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:18 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 There's a lot of that going on.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:20 Yeah. I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:01:20 That's a lot of the homeless problem.

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 That's a lot of, there's a lot of issues in this country that you could pick one side or another and just decide the o- tho- those people are the problem. It's insanely complicated. It's insanely interwoven and complex, and you know to just-... to, y- you know, reduce it down to the right versus the left, and we're the good guys, and they're the bad guys. It's like, (sighs) it's- that's such a stupid perspective, and you're being played. You're being played by the media. You're being played by politicians, you know. It's like-

Jim Gaffigan 1:01:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:52 ... uh, manufactured outrage, recreational outrage, and it's just a giant distraction that's constantly going on, and then there's UFOs.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:00 Yeah. What's go- why is it that the UFO thing comes up every couple months, where people are like, "There's UFOs," and then, uh, like, a half hour later, people are like, "Did you see the new Colts uniform?"

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:13 You're like, we're so easily distracted-

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:16 ... by really unimportant-

Joe Rogan 1:02:18 Mm-hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:19 ... things from, like, stuff that, (clears throat) y- you know, is- is the theme of, uh, every sci-fi movie, right? It's, we're so, you know, like, the, you know, the aliens thing, in the pandemic, where they're like, "Well, here's the aliens info," and people are like, "That's unbelievable." Did you see what Trump said to that female reporter?

Joe Rogan 1:02:39 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:39 You know what I mean? Like, we are so easily distracted-

Joe Rogan 1:02:42 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:43 ... by, but, I mean, I don't think it's a conspiracy necessarily. I think it's just that human beings are just like goldfish. I think we forget.

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 For sure.

Jim Gaffigan 1:02:55 Oh, yeah. That's right. Oh, that's right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:57 We definitely are, but then th- there's also people that take advantage of that, and I think there's definitely calculated news releases and leaks that they put out to distract us from other complicated things that are also going on simultaneously. The fascinating thing about the UFO thing is 'cause if this had happened in, like, the 1980s, it would be front page of every newspaper. Everyone would be talking about it at work. Everyone would be-

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:20 ... talking about it on the street, like, "Oh, my God." They had congressional hearings where they said, "We've recovered multiple crashed vehicles from other planets. We have alien biological entities that are in freezers, that they have right now. The government has been doing this for 80 years and keeping it secret. There's a crash retrieval program. There's a back engineering program." This was all in the congressional hearings yesterday, and everybody's like, "Eh, whatever."

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:48 (laughs) But Elon Musk changed it to an X.

Joe Rogan 1:03:50 Why is it an X?

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:52 Well- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:52 He's a Nazi.

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:53 Well, (laughs) I-

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:03:54 Here's what I don't understand. Like, 'cause you- you talk to him. You're probably friendly with him, but like, I'm g- he reminds me of a comedian. He reminds-

Joe Rogan 1:04:03 Yes.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:03 ... me of, like, the comedian that- that, 'cause there's the comedians where they're like, they'll be like, "Hey, do us a favor. Whatever you do, don't bring up that person with the blue shirt," and the comedian's like, "I am bringing up that person with the blue shirt." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:16 He is that, like, the X thing, and I haven't done a deep dive. I know people are upset about it, and- and, but I'm sitting there, and I know that people are like ... But my takeaway is like, oh, he's d- that- that's- he's just doing that for fun, right?

Joe Rogan 1:04:34 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:35 That's just him, like, "All right. The Russians did a Z on their trucks? What could I do on Twitter that would freak people out?" And that's kind of ... Or is it a distraction?

Joe Rogan 1:04:49 What he's doing?

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:50 Or is, like here, like let me-

Joe Rogan 1:04:52 Okay.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:52 All right. Here's my conspiracy.

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 Okay.

Jim Gaffigan 1:04:53 My conspiracy is Twitter threads is, uh, you know, it's still in development, but like Twitter's really struggling, right? Let's say it's struggling.

Joe Rogan 1:05:03 Financially, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:05 How do you distract from that? You either, how do you make the, uh, new con- you introduce a new conversation piece.

Joe Rogan 1:05:13 Hmm.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:14 So, like, if you're- if you're gonna, uh, be likely, which comedians, you know, point of view, you know, wouldn't you sit there and go, maybe, uh, what is the reason for the X?

Joe Rogan 1:05:25 Well, he has an affinity-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:26 Except for us talking about it.

Joe Rogan 1:05:27 He loves the- the letter X.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:29 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:05:29 Like, uh, SpaceX, his kid's named X.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 Uh, the, I think the original company that he developed with PayPal was X. Like, he's-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 ... he's got an affinity for that letter, for whatever reason. He- he, you know, he's- he's a super nerd. He- he- he likes, like- like,

Joe Rogan 1:05:47 he made the shape of the rocket different because he likes the movie Space Balls.

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 I mean, that's why he called-

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:53 No, he put a- he put a Tesla in- in the satellite.

Joe Rogan 1:05:57 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:05:57 There's that, but then there's also the- the knowledge. I mean, I have a 17-year-old son who I know says things to push buttons.

Joe Rogan 1:06:08 Oh, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:09 And so he's a little bit like, "You know, I'm going to do this, and it's gonna make some people upset."

Joe Rogan 1:06:19 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:19 Right? It's part, in- in a way, it's part of the outrage machine, right?

Joe Rogan 1:06:22 Sure.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:23 He's like, "I gotta feed the outrage machine."

Joe Rogan 1:06:26 Well, it's a fun thing for a kid too, to fuck with you, say something to your dad.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:30 Feel some power.

Joe Rogan 1:06:31 Yeah, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:31 Right?

Joe Rogan 1:06:32 Just put a little push. "Hey, Dad, do you ever think that maybe you're wrong? Hey, hey, Dad?"

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:36 "Do you ever think that maybe the other side is on the right path and you're- you're the enemy of history?"

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:40 Yes, yes. And, you know, I've got five kids with five different opinions, and it's just ...

Joe Rogan 1:06:48 It's crazy how different their opinions are, isn't it?

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:50 There is-

Joe Rogan 1:06:51 Out of the box, same house. (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:06:53 There is no e- e- I mean, just one's a social justice warrior. One's like, "All right. I gotta make sure he doesn't turn into a troll."

Joe Rogan 1:07:03 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:03 You know? (laughs) One who's a terrific athlete.

Joe Rogan 1:07:06 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:07 One who's, like, either gonna be a fashion designer or a serial killer. It's just-

Joe Rogan 1:07:12 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:12 ... bananas. But, you know, you know, there is part of me as a comedian, I'm like, "God, you know what? You don't want the easy life 'cause the easy life, it's hard to come up with material." You want to live in chaos.

Joe Rogan 1:07:26 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:07:26 Right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:07:27 Well, you know, you want a life with problems that are solvable.... yeah. You don't want problems that are insurmountable, like you live in a war-torn country and there's no food. Those are horrible problems. But you want problems like, I'm in a difficult occupation, there's a lot of competition, it's fascinating and intellectually challenging, but I have to be on my fucking game and I have to get up and I have to put in the work. And the more work I put in, the better the results will be. Yeah. That's what you want. And you want that feeling of satisfaction. I think human beings, we require complex problem-solving. We re- we require things that we have to accomplish and do in order to feel good. Like, we've got some- we've made some headway, made some ground. We made some progress. We're doing the right thing. There's like a built-in thing that I think, and it's from our evolution and our development, that we had to develop the proper tools and figure out how to hunt and gather and all those different things. There's a lot to that. There's a lot to that, that it's like, it- it's- it's wired into the psychology of being a human being. The most miserable people I know have nothing to do. They're- they're-

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:08:30 ... bored and lazy, and they're sedentary, and they distract themselves with drugs and alcohol-

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:36 ... and- and whatever, and pharmaceuticals. And those are the people that are struggling the most, because they don't struggle with the thing that they do, where there's this thing that they have to be on top of. They have to be focused and- and- and really dedicated to it, and then you see the results of those, whether you're working in a team, an office that's trying to accomplish a goal. When you get it, you're like, "Yeah!" And then everybody can go out and celebrate.

Jim Gaffigan 1:08:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:56 There's a real feeling of accomplishment when you do something. When you don't do anything, anything at all, I just think people get really depressed. I think it's really bad for you to not do anything.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:06 Yeah. Yeah, it's ... Well, that's also like, you know, that success can kinda cripple people, right?

Joe Rogan 1:09:13 Right. Right. You get soft.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:15 All right, let me ask you this.

Joe Rogan 1:09:16 Okay.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:17 What are the chances of- of Biden and Trump being the nominees?

Joe Rogan 1:09:22 I think the chance of Trump is very high. I think the chance of V- Biden is entirely dependent on whether or not they can do something to turn its health around, 'cause it- it seems like his mental health is deteriorating so rapidly and so publicly that it's a narrative now, and it's an inescapable narrative. I mean, he just said they cured cancer the other day. Did you see that?

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:44 Yeah. I mean, I didn't see it, but...

Joe Rogan 1:09:45 I mean, he just says things, and he doesn't know what he's saying. He clearly is compromised mentally. There's something wrong.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:52 There is something about the age of everyone.

Joe Rogan 1:09:55 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:56 So you probably saw the Mitch McConnell thing-

Joe Rogan 1:09:57 Amazing.

Jim Gaffigan 1:09:58 ... with Dianne Feinstein, you know, uh...

Joe Rogan 1:09:59 He just rebooted-

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:01 ... in front of everybody.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10:02 << Do, do, do >>

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:03 And, you know, like the, uh, Chuck Grassley.

Joe Rogan 1:10:05 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:05 There is ... And I tried to write about this, but it's- it's also like our perception of it, 'cause y- part of you is like, "Okay, Mick Jagger is 80. He's killing it." He's probably, you know, he's probably got two more wives in him. You know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 1:10:24 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:24 And then you got- you got Harrison Ford-

Joe Rogan 1:10:28 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:28 ... did, uh, Raiders of the Lost Ark. I saw the movie, brought it with my kids. It's an action movie. He's, uh, still an action star, age of 80. Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, kicking ass.

Joe Rogan 1:10:39 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:39 They're in their 80s.

Joe Rogan 1:10:40 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:40 And then, you sit there and you look at, you know, Nancy Pelosi was 84.

Joe Rogan 1:10:45 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:46 You know, uh, Dianne Feinstein. You know, it's like...

Joe Rogan 1:10:49 Well, Feinstein's compromised. They- they actually hid that she's compromised. There's like all this...

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:54 Yeah. And then also, like, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, you know-

Joe Rogan 1:10:57 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:10:57 ... should've- should've left.

Joe Rogan 1:11:00 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:00 Right?

Joe Rogan 1:11:00 Earlier, yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:01 But, like, there...

Joe Rogan 1:11:02 They coulda left during the Obama administration, they would've gotten, uh, a liberal judge.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:06 Yeah. But here- here's the thing.

Joe Rogan 1:11:08 "Feinstein gets confused in Senate appo- appropriations hearings and has to be prodded to vote." Oh, boy.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11:13 Yeah, it's not fair. It's not fair to the constituents. It's not fair to her.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:17 But when I was a- when I was a kid, I didn't ... You know, the understanding, uh ... You know, I'm in my 50s. I know I look like I'm 60.

Joe Rogan 1:11:26 You look great.

Jim Gaffigan 1:11:27 Oh, thanks. No, but like, when I was growing up, people turned 65, they retired, and they either went to Florida or Arizona and they retired or- or they, you know, got a different kinda job. And ... But like, they kind of disappeared. Then they went to the blue plate sp- uh, they w- they dyed their hair blue, and then they started sending their kids two bucks and a birthday card. I didn't even know 80-year-olds existed. I mean, now there's so many 80-year-olds. Like, there used to be like people that were 65 that moved to Florida, and then there was like ... Willard Scott would announce one or two 100-year-olds.

Joe Rogan 1:12:09 Right. Right.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:10 But there was no 80-year-olds. There was not a ... I mean, the 80-year-olds are everywhere. They're te-

Joe Rogan 1:12:17 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:17 I think (laughs) I think the 80-year-olds are multiplying. But-

Joe Rogan 1:12:22 Well, there's better medicine and health now, you know? People are way better at nutrition, at taking care of themselves. They have good doctors and they're getting the right supplements and, you know, they can live longer. People are gonna live a lot longer. Ev- I think, within our lifetime, we're gonna see people that live to be 150 years old.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:39 I think that's a fact.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:40 I mean, when we were kids, Reagan was president.

Joe Rogan 1:12:44 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:45 He was probably 72 or something like that, and people were like, "He's ..." You know?

Joe Rogan 1:12:50 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:51 You know, it's like, he's-

Joe Rogan 1:12:51 Now, he- he would be a spring chicken.

Jim Gaffigan 1:12:53 Now, yeah, are you kidding? He would be like lifting weights with J- RFK Jr.

Joe Rogan 1:12:58 Yeah. That's three years older than RFK Jr.

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:00 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:13:01 I mean, look at him at 69. That's nuts.

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:03 It's amazing.

Joe Rogan 1:13:03 Yeah. When you see guys like, uh ... Well- well, Biden is a particularly bad example, because he's also had two brain surgeries. He had, you know, like a serious brain surgery, where they literally remove the top of your skull and deal with aneurysms. Like he's got real problems, and they know it. But they also know that he's the president of the United States and they can't address that or they'll lose power. And they also know that, uh, he's stated that he wants to run again. Whether they can talk him out of that, or whether he decides not to do that, or whether some- that health complications get more severe. Like you don't get better when you get 80 and you're in the most insane high-pressure job.

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:44 I don't know. Did you see the movie Cocoon?

Joe Rogan 1:13:46 (laughs)

Jim Gaffigan 1:13:46 I mean, they ... (laughs) But here's the thing. The, uh, you know, I think that...... there, you know, the- the- the Biden thing is, uh, you know, I'm probably on the other side of this, but, like, I view Biden as, like, you know, h- his foot and mouth disease has disappeared. So, in other words, he used to say stuff, like even when he was with Obama-

Joe Rogan 1:14:14 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:14 ... they would be like, "We gotta get Ob- Biden outta here."

Joe Rogan 1:14:17 Right.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:17 And I don't think he does that, and some of it is-

Joe Rogan 1:14:20 What do you mean, you don't think he does that? He does it all the time.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:22 Well, I mean, you know, but- but now they're calling them senior moments, but, like, before he used to be like, uh, he would say things and people were like, "Ixnay on the talking Biden."

Joe Rogan 1:14:31 Well, when you're a liar and an idiot as a young man-

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:35 You li- are y- so you're pro-Biden? I'm joking.

Joe Rogan 1:14:37 Yeah. Well, he's clearly a liar. I mean, there's- there's videos of him lying when he was younger about his- his education record.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:44 Oh, yeah. N- and you know, the- he- he lifted the coal miner speech from the guy and-

Joe Rogan 1:14:48 Yeah. Well, we used to do Joe Biden night at Stitches in Boston in the '80s, 'cause when he was running for president in 1988, he got caught plagiarizing.

Jim Gaffigan 1:14:57 Yeah, a whole speech.

Joe Rogan 1:14:58 So when, not just one. I think it was more than one.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:00 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:15:01 And then, and also I think there was some other evidence of plagiarism in his past. So, we used to do a night at Stitches-

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:08 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 1:15:08 ... where, like, you would do my act, I would do your act. We would do ev- we'd go up and do our friends' acts.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:13 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 1:15:14 Yeah. It was Joe Biden night.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:16 No way.

Joe Rogan 1:15:16 Yeah, and this was in 1988.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:19 But, I don't know, maybe this... All right, this is what I think. I think that if Trump... I think that... I think that if Trump goes away, I think Biden's gonna go, "See ya. You guys take over." That's what I naively think.

Joe Rogan 1:15:35 Well, Trump's not going to go away. I mean, they would have to put him in jail, and it doesn't seem like they're able to do that. The- the- the... What are the charges now? What are the, like, the most egregious, most difficult to defend charges?

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:50 Uh...

Joe Rogan 1:15:51 'Cause there's the, uh, the top secret document stuff, but the problem with that is Biden has multiple instances of these top secret documents.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:59 Yeah, it's been-

Joe Rogan 1:15:59 Yeah.

Jim Gaffigan 1:15:59 You know, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:16:00 Had 'em in his fucking Corvette in his garage, like...

Narrator 1:16:02 There's a couple cases according to the Politico website-

Joe Rogan 1:16:05 Criminal cases. Definitive guide to the key players and legal risks in the four criminal probes of Donald Trump. So for 234 years of the nation's history, no American president or former president was indicted. That changed in March of 2023. Charged with 34 felony counts in connection with hush money payments to a porn star. See, that one's a weird one. Because it's like, that's not a big deal.

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:30 Well, that's- that's, you know...

Joe Rogan 1:16:32 Hush money payments, like-

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:33 I mean, I don't know if our wives would agree. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:16:36 No, definitely it's- it's not, like, morally.

Jim Gaffigan 1:16:38 No, but it is... But yeah, that's like, you know, in the era of JFK, that would be like, "How dare you bring that up."

Joe Rogan 1:16:45 Yeah. So, um, 37 felony counts for mishandling classified documents and impending investigations. Now, what I've heard about this is th- these counts are inflated. So there- there's a bunch of counts, but they multiply those accounts based on the amount of documents and things, so it becomes all these different counts. Uh, I'm talking out of my ass here. I don't exactly know what I'm saying.

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:07 No, I know, but some of it is like... But that's...

Joe Rogan 1:17:09 So two other ongoing criminal probes, both related to the 2020 election interference. Those are serious.

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:15 Yeah, I think that-

Joe Rogan 1:17:15 May prompt further indictments.

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:16 I think the January 6th thing is pretty bad.

Joe Rogan 1:17:20 Well, the January 6th thing is bad, but also the intelligence agencies were involved in provoking people to go into the Capitol Building. That's a fact.

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:28 Do... So wait a minute. You're- you're saying that that guy, what's his name?

Joe Rogan 1:17:33 Ray Epps.

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:33 Yeah, you really think that he was-

Joe Rogan 1:17:35 I don't know. I don't know, but I do know that every other-

Jim Gaffigan 1:17:39 I think that's pretty apparent. I think he's gonna sue Fo- Fox.

Joe Rogan 1:17:41 I think every other person who was involved in January 6th, who was involved in coordinating a- a break-in into the Capitol and in instigating people breaking in, they were all arrested. This guy wasn't. Not only that, they were defending him in The New York Times, The Washington Post, all these different things 'cause saying that Fox News has unjustly accused him of instigating. Well, he clearly instigated. He did it on camera.

Jim Gaffigan 1:18:07 Yeah, now there's footage of it.

Joe Rogan 1:18:07 I don't know if he was a fed. I know a lot of people think he was a fed. The people that were there were calling him a fed. What I do know is when they asked the FBI, the FBI said, "We can't tell you whether or not there were people that were there that were doing that." Now, there's been reports that there was hundreds of agents that were there that were doing that. I don't know if that's true either, but I do know that they do use agent provocateurs to disrupt peace- peaceful protests. It's a- a common tactic. What they do is, say if there's a, um... Like the World Trade Organization is a great example. That was in, I think, the '90s in Seattle, and so what they did was they were protesting the World Trade Organization. They were doing it peacefully. It was a big problem, so what they did is they sent in, allegedly, agent provocateurs. They started smashing buildings and lighting things on fire. Now it's not a peaceful protest. Now they can bring in the police. Now they can start arresting people, and then they created a no-protest zone, where literally if you had a pin on your jacket that was the WTO with a red line through it, they would not let you cross. You could not cross with a pin that was against the WTO and- and go to work. There was a no-protest zone, so they- they- they silenced protest, which is a part of our freedom of speech. So this is a tactic that some government agencies use to stop peaceful protests.

Jim Gaffigan 1:19:27 Okay, okay, but- but wait a minute. All right, so what you're saying is on January 6th, that, uh, this event that obviously Trump organized... Forget about the Giuliani stuff and the, uh, you know, whether they thought that it was stolen.

Joe Rogan 1:19:42 He definitely encouraged people to protest.

Jim Gaffigan 1:19:45 Yes, but... All right, so you're saying that, like, the- the FBI and Nancy Pelosi, and- a- and I'm trying-

Joe Rogan 1:19:52 I'm not saying Nancy