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Joe Rogan Experience #2137 - Michelle Dowd

Michelle Dowd is the author of "Forager: Field Notes on Surviving a Family Cult," revealing her life growing up on an isolated mountain within an apocalyptic cult, and how she found her way out by gleaning strength from the wilderness. https://www.michelledowd.org/ https://twitter.com/Michelledowd2

Joe RoganhostMichelle Dowdguest
Apr 18, 20242h 53mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:0015:00

    (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast,…

    1. JR

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

    2. MD

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

    3. JR

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (instrumental music) So thanks for coming in, Michelle.

    4. MD

      Thanks, Joe, for having me. (laughs)

    5. JR

      My pleasure.

    6. MD

      I love your man cave.

    7. JR

      Oh, thank you, thank you.

    8. MD

      (laughs) I really do. It's awesome.

    9. JR

      Yeah. It's, uh, it's fun. Um, so when I heard your story, I was like, "This sounds completely insane."

    10. MD

      Hmm.

    11. JR

      And, um, just to fill people in, just explain what happened.

    12. MD

      Well, uh, I was born into a cult, a high-control group that I didn't know to call a cult, because, you know, I was born there.

    13. JR

      'Cause you were a child, yeah.

    14. MD

      That was my whole experience. My grandfather started in 1931, so my mother was also born into the cult in the 1940s. My dad-

    15. JR

      Wow.

    16. MD

      ... was, um, let's just say he was 12 when he first met my grandfather, who would later become his father-in-law, and my grandfather became his father figure. So my mom was married off to this, uh, man who was a follower of her father, and I am the second child of their union.

    17. JR

      Wow.

    18. MD

      And, yeah.

    19. JR

      Where'd, where'd all this take place?

    20. MD

      So this took place, um, that he originally started it near LA in Pasadena, which most people know because of the Rose Parade and-

    21. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    22. MD

      ... other things like that. Um, when he first started it, it started... My understanding is he was a Boy Scout leader, and he was an orphan. He had come from Oklahoma when he was a young man, and, uh, the Boy Scouts didn't allow him to have as much control as he wanted to have of the boys.

    23. JR

      Oh, boy.

    24. MD

      So (laughs) yeah, which is a lot of control. So he left the Boy Scouts, and he took the boys with him, and some of the boys from his original troop in 1931 stayed with him past his death. One of the first boys took over after him in the late 1980s.

    25. JR

      Wow.

    26. MD

      Or the early 1980s, actually. Yeah, so he was really good at getting followers.

    27. JR

      What was his background? Like, what, what did he... What did he do before he did all this?

    28. MD

      Nothing. (laughs)

    29. JR

      Nothing?

    30. MD

      He was complete... I don't think he graduated from high school. I don't know that for sure. He lied about everything, and he said he had a PhD from Stanford later when he... (laughs)

  2. 15:0030:00

    Yeah, unquestionably. I mean,…

    1. MD

      to be a follower. And that's just not true. I mean, if, if someone gets ahold of you as a child, they can program you to think almost anything, especially if they're good at it.

    2. JR

      Yeah, unquestionably. I mean, that's why they have child suicide bombers.

    3. MD

      Yes. Yes.

    4. JR

      Yeah. I mean, you, you can trick children and...

    5. MD

      Yeah.

    6. JR

      It's, uh, it's understandable though that you would think somehow or another that other people would think that it's your fault. Or ignorant people would think, "Why didn't you know? Why didn't you leave?" You know, or people that-

    7. MD

      Right.

    8. JR

      ... y- you know, never really thought about it. Never thought it through 'cause they, they haven't had to.

    9. MD

      Right.

    10. JR

      You know?

    11. MD

      The friends I went out with who... I mean, I'm calling 'em friends now, but I ha- (laughs) I hadn't seen them since I was a little girl. Um, they were saying, "I would have... of course you would drink the Kool-Aid," when people use that expression. "I would've been first in line. Would've signed up for that." I mean, that's... we all would've... and I mean that, and I was... I was born there and indoctrinated, and I would've, uh, completely taken anything that my grandfather or my parents told me was gonna kill me. I would've, you know, I would've felt that that was gonna take me to heaven quicker and everyone I knew would've done that.

    12. JR

      Wow.

    13. MD

      And the reason you don't hear about a lot of cults, by the way, is because they didn't end up in flames or mass suicide. Um, but that doesn't mean that they didn't prey on, um, you know, dozens, sometimes hundreds or even thousands of people depending on the cult.

    14. JR

      I was talking to Marc Andreessen and he was explaining to me that there's still many, many active cults in California.

    15. MD

      Absolutely.

    16. JR

      And I was like, "What? Like right now? Like people know about 'em?" "Oh yeah, they're s- they're successful." Like there's some successful cults.

    17. MD

      Mm-hmm. Yeah. When I first went to-

    18. JR

      Is The Field still around?

    19. MD

      The Field's still around. I've been told it is a completely different organization and I'm not gonna vouch one way or the other. Uh, they certainly don't have a charismatic leader like my grandfather once he died and his replacement was there and then once he died, um, I think it's become... it has not become secular. It's a very strong religious organization, but they don't have the control they used to. Because like when we were young, they, we didn't have Social Security number, there was no way to track things.

    20. JR

      (laughs)

    21. MD

      And now, you know (laughs) -

    22. JR

      Yeah.

    23. MD

      ... it's hard to get away with, um-

    24. JR

      You have to pay taxes.

    25. MD

      Yes.

    26. JR

      You have to own a phone.

    27. MD

      They do pay taxes. And there was a sexual abuse, you know, uh, case that was actually prosecuted. And I think after that, which I think was 2006, I think that they had to really clean up a lot of their practices.

    28. JR

      When I'm hearing these stories about these boys and the abuse, I'm s- that's what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking if there's a bunch of boys and no one's allowed to get married, that- that's not a good recipe.

    29. MD

      No, it's not. And the particular one that got prosecuted was, um, a young leader who was abusing 11 and 12-year-old boys-

    30. JR

      Yeah.

  3. 30:0045:00

    Yeah. …

    1. JR

      "The beginning, there was light." Sounds a lot like The Big Bang.

    2. MD

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      Sounds a lot like ... If you tell The Big Bang to your kids and your kids would tell it to their kids, and you're gonna do this for 1000 years. At the end of it, you're gonna get some real ... People are gross.

    4. MD

      (laughs)

    5. JR

      They always like to, like, twist things around and make things-

    6. MD

      (laughs)

    7. JR

      You know, they add their own little spice to a story.

    8. MD

      Right.

    9. JR

      Like, have you ever had a friend that tells a story, like, "Hey, bro, that didn't happen that way."

    10. MD

      (laughs)

    11. JR

      Like, "You didn't say that."

    12. MD

      (laughs)

    13. JR

      "You fucking ran for cover."

    14. MD

      Yeah.

    15. JR

      Like, everybody's got their own version of a story. Well, that-

    16. MD

      Yeah, we all embellish.

    17. JR

      Th- th- if you could-

    18. MD

      (laughs)

    19. JR

      Oral traditions, 100% for sure, you're gonna have a lot of that, especially when you have high control groups, like your grandfather. Your grandfather just-

    20. MD

      And you think about the translations, too. Like, we ... Even when the monks were translating all that and, like, or s- um, s- like, they were scribes.

    21. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    22. MD

      And they were inscribing it.

    23. JR

      Yeah.

    24. MD

      Like, all of that, too. There was an agenda on a lot of that.

    25. JR

      100%.

    26. MD

      And so ... Yeah. And then, when you- we read the King James Version of the Bible, I mean, you know, the king pr- pronounced it to be so. And so, any- anything that was left out, I mean, there was a lot left out, right, in what was canonized.

    27. JR

      Yeah.

    28. MD

      Because it was perhaps dangerous to the particular regime that he was running. And so, not to say-

    29. JR

      Yeah, imagine you get to decide.

    30. MD

      ... that that's not true. Yes, I know. You get to decide.

  4. 45:001:00:00

    Right. …

    1. JR

      us into Vietnam.

    2. MD

      Right.

    3. JR

      I mean, it took decades for that to come out. And now that's widely accepted. So, our own history is sketchy as fuck (laughs) .

    4. MD

      Indeed.

    5. JR

      Our own history. Our real, absolute history is sketchy as fuck.

    6. MD

      Yeah.

    7. JR

      And that's why conspiracy theories are so fun.

    8. MD

      Oh, yeah, of course. And- and in a sense, a cult is just a whole conspiracy theory. I mean, they- but they control the narrative.

    9. JR

      Right.

    10. MD

      Completely control the narrative, and no one's allowed to question it. And if they do, they're excommunicated. And one of the ways you know something is a cult is th- they will always tell you that anyone who left... It's different than outsiders. I mean, outsiders are people who maybe had- never had access to the truth. But people who are quitters, they literally call them quitters where I come from.

    11. JR

      (laughs) Quitters.

    12. MD

      Quitters.

    13. JR

      It's a good name.

    14. MD

      Yeah (laughs) . I know, it really is.

    15. JR

      Nobody likes quitters.

    16. MD

      Right, right. And so quitters were just, anything they said was of the devil. And so you were not allowed to talk to anyone who left. And that's really common in cults, to-

    17. JR

      You couldn't even talk to them.

    18. MD

      No, no.

    19. JR

      That's- that's a Scientology thing, too, I believe, right?

    20. MD

      Yeah, I think it's really common in any high-control group I'm sure.

    21. JR

      Hmm.

    22. MD

      Yeah, because you can't... You really do need to control the narrative, and you can't let other stories get in there.

    23. JR

      Yeah. Wow. Goddamn. It's so interesting how these patterns reoccur all over the world. You know, there's a guy in Australia that says he's Jesus.

    24. MD

      Mm-hmm.

    25. JR

      And, uh, he runs this whole cult in Australia, and he has this woman who he says is Mary. But the problem is there was another woman who was Mary before.

    26. MD

      (laughs)

    27. JR

      And it didn't work out with the original Mary, so he... (laughs)

    28. MD

      (laughs)

    29. JR

      So, he tells this new lady, "I was wrong about that other lady. You're Mary." And so...

    30. MD

      Do you know-

  5. 1:00:001:10:44

    Yeah. …

    1. JR

      of forgiveness. Like forgiveness, he's a fucking Roman. I mean, this dude is like this b- badass soldier and he's, he's like, "It's very important to forgive everybody. Forgive even forgive your enemies."

    2. MD

      Yeah.

    3. JR

      Like he had this incredible wisdom about legist- like maintaining...... your objective perspective of the world. It was really interesting. So, we know people were smart as shit back then.

    4. MD

      Yeah. Yeah.

    5. JR

      And if you go back 2,000 years before him, when people start writing all this stuff down.

    6. MD

      Well, people had a, a lot stronger, uh, ability to concentrate, obviously-

    7. JR

      Right, they weren't distracted.

    8. MD

      ... before they, right?

    9. JR

      No TikTok.

    10. MD

      But even before... (laughs) Right. But even before things were written, people really had a command over language and oral traditions-

    11. JR

      Mm-hmm.

    12. MD

      ... and their memory. They had to remember. Like, you think about, you know, where, where to find whatever it is when you're a forager, where to find the hunt, you know?

    13. JR

      Right.

    14. MD

      That all of these traditions had to be passed down for humans to stay alive. I mean, we're really fragile creatures.

    15. JR

      Right.

    16. MD

      And to think that when, before there was anything (laughs) except for spheres, you know, like, how did, how did humans stay alive? They stayed alive because they could remember, they could remember what could kill them.

    17. JR

      Yeah. Just like we used to be able to remember phone numbers.

    18. MD

      (laughs) Yeah.

    19. JR

      You remember?

    20. MD

      Yeah. Even back then. I know.

    21. JR

      (laughs)

    22. MD

      I s-

    23. JR

      I had so many phone numbers in my head.

    24. MD

      (laughs) I still remember the phone number of the field.

    25. JR

      I... Wow.

    26. MD

      I do, I do, because, you know, it was the one place, right?

    27. JR

      Wow.

    28. MD

      That, that was my home.

    29. JR

      Wow.

    30. MD

      Yeah.

Episode duration: 2:53:04

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