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Tristan de Montebello: Why public speaking advice fails you

Through flow-first practice and games that add safe turbulence; UltraSpeaking co-founder tells speakers to look up, end strong, and ditch filler-word audits.

Tristan de MontebelloguestLenny Rachitskyhost
Oct 12, 20241h 56mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Transform Public Speaking: Flow, Games, And Ditching Bad Advice Forever

  1. Tristan de Montebello, co‑creator of UltraSpeaking, argues that public speaking is a meta-skill that, once improved, upgrades nearly every area of life—from work to relationships and self-confidence.
  2. He reframes speaking as a subconscious, flow-oriented activity we’re evolutionarily built for, and claims most advice overemphasizes scripts, tactics, and memorization instead of fixing root causes like anxiety, overthinking, and lack of conviction.
  3. Through live on-air exercises, he demonstrates game-based training (e.g., Conductor, Triple Step, conviction prompts) that create ‘safe turbulence’ so people can practice staying present, expressive, and confident under pressure.
  4. He also shares practical preparation frameworks like the Accordion Method and Bow-and-Arrow Technique to craft talks that are clear, memorable, and internalized rather than rigidly memorized.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Treat public speaking as a meta-skill, not a niche talent.

Improving speaking doesn’t just help with presentations; it boosts confidence, leadership, relationships, and how you show up in every room. Because we’re wired for speech, small breakthroughs in speaking often trigger widespread life upgrades.

Aim for flow, not perfection or tactics overload.

We speak best when we’re not thinking about speaking—when we’re immersed in the message and the audience. Instead of counting filler words or memorizing scripts, focus on solving root issues (comfort with pausing, range of expression, conviction) that keep you in flow.

If you don’t enjoy speaking, you’re probably doing it wrong.

Enjoyment is a barometer: when you’re speaking like yourself (conversationally, not in a ‘public speaking voice’), communication is naturally rewarding and connecting. Both practice and performance should be designed to feel fun and energizing, or you won’t stick with it.

Look up, end strong, and stay in character to project confidence.

Three simple behavioral shifts: ‘think up’ instead of looking down when searching for words, use summary prompts to land your answers decisively (“So my point is…”), and never voice your insecurities mid-talk. Audiences rarely see your inner anxiety unless you leak it.

Use games to create low-stakes ‘turbulence’ and build resilience.

Exercises like Conductor (varying intensity), Triple Step (weaving in random words), and conviction prompts intentionally disrupt your comfort so you can practice recovering gracefully. Over time, this makes high-pressure real scenarios feel relatively easy and familiar.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Speaking is not a specialized skill, it's a meta-skill. That means that the better you get at speaking, the better your life gets.

— Tristan de Montebello

The day I understood that speaking was a subconscious, flow-oriented process and not a conscious process completely changed the way I approached it.

— Tristan de Montebello

If you don't enjoy speaking, you're doing it wrong.

— Tristan de Montebello

Pros are just amateurs who've learned to recover gracefully from their mistakes.

— Tristan de Montebello (quoting Kevin Kelly)

Most of us focus more on what we want to say than what we want our audience to remember.

— Tristan de Montebello

Public speaking as a meta-skill that transforms all areas of lifeWhy most traditional public speaking advice (scripts, memorization, surface tactics) backfiresFlow state, subconscious speaking, and fixing root causes instead of symptomsCore performance habits: enjoyment, ending strong, staying in character, and ‘thinking up’Game-based practice methods (Conductor, Triple Step, conviction prompts) for low-stakes repsThe Accordion Method for building and internalizing talks via timed compression/expansionThe Bow-and-Arrow Technique and ‘one thing’ focus for clear, memorable communication

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