EVERY SPOKEN WORD
90 min read · 18,223 words- 0:00 – 2:38
Meet the Guest
- MRMel Robbins
This is gonna be one of the most eye-opening and transformative conversations you've ever heard on this podcast. Erin, what's the one question you want people to ask themselves before they even open the door to the closet in the morning?
- EWErin Walsh
How do I want to feel?
- MRMel Robbins
How do I want to feel?
- EWErin Walsh
Six words. We all have to get dressed in the morning the same way we have to brush our teeth. So aren't you gonna wanna walk as your most supernova self and not, you know, be afraid to be that person? Like, what are you waiting for?
- MRMel Robbins
Erin Walsh is one of the most sought-after celebrity stylists on the planet. She has styled some of the biggest names in Hollywood for red carpets, magazine covers, press tours, and defining career moments. She believes getting dressed, it's not about trends, it's about who you are. It's about your identity and who you wanna become. She is the bestselling author of the new book, The Art of Intentional Dressing, and you're gonna hear three women on our team who are part of this episode admit deeply personal things about how they feel and how they felt and how much they've changed since just trying this different way of getting dressed. This is about using what you have in your closet to help you feel confident, energized, more powerful, protected. It's a mindset shift. It is simple, you can do it immediately, and you will feel the impact every single day for the rest of your life. My team showed me something. 58% of you that watch here on YouTube are not subscribers. My goal is that we get that number to 50%. If you are loving the videos that we are putting up here, bringing you world-renowned experts, this one today is gonna blow your mind with Erin Walsh. Just hit subscribe. If that's lit up, the subscribe button, you're not a subscriber. First of all, it's free. Second, it's the best way you can say, "Hey, thanks, Mel. Hey, thanks, Mel's team," for showing up and supporting me in creating a better life. Thank you in advance for hitting subscribe. It means a lot to me, and I appreciate your support. Now, get ready. This conversation with Erin Walsh, it's gonna blow your mind. Let's get into it. Erin Walsh, welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs] I have no words. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, I'm thrilled that you came to snowy Vermont.
- EWErin Walsh
I love it.
- MRMel Robbins
And this is the first episode that we have taped here in the barn.
- EWErin Walsh
Fireside chat.
- MRMel Robbins
Fireside chat is right.
- EWErin Walsh
Sexy unplugged. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
And well, you're gonna help us be sexy, if that's what we wanna feel.
- EWErin Walsh
Gonna try. We're gonna try.
- MRMel Robbins
I wanna start by asking you,
- 2:38 – 12:23
How to Dress for Confidence (Your Outfit Changes Your Mood + Energy)
- MRMel Robbins
how is my life going to be different if I take everything to heart that you're about-
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... to teach us today about using clothing as a way to embody the feeling that we want-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... the person we wanna become? How's my life going to change?
- EWErin Walsh
Um, number one, I think, um, your life will change when you start to see what you wear as a means to embody your best self every single day, when you start to believe and embody the idea that you matter, and that how you enter a room and how you live energetically all day long will not only serve the story of who you are and why you're here, but it will, it will impact everybody. It's, it's, um, the possibility itself is, is limitless.
- MRMel Robbins
You think that's possible based on changing how we get dressed in the morning?
- EWErin Walsh
I think you become the change that you see as possible in yourself. You learn to wear-
- MRMel Robbins
Ooh
- EWErin Walsh
... the change you want to see in the world. And the whole thing with embodiment, like people, they look at clothes as a luxury, and it's not. Fashion is not something that's frivolous. So why would you not get intentional about it? Because it's a means to arm yourself to tell the story that you want to tell to the world of who you are every day. And how you spend your days is how you're remembered, and it's, like, the legacy you leave behind.
- MRMel Robbins
When you say fashion, what do you mean? 'Cause when I look in my-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... my closet, I see clothing.
- EWErin Walsh
I think, um-
- MRMel Robbins
I don't think fashion, 'cause I'm like, oh, well, that's red carpet.
- EWErin Walsh
Totally.
- MRMel Robbins
That's, like, fancy stuff. That's, like, not something I'd wear to work. What do you mean when you say fashion?
- EWErin Walsh
I mean, I mean fashion like tools. I may be a celebrity stylist or a fashion stylist, but I've never seen it that way. I, I see myself as a fashion therapist. I love clothes, I always have since I was a little kid, but fashion is the incidental part. The clothes are the choices. The clothes are the tools, and how you put them together, and the texture, and the color, and the silhouette, and the proportion, and ultimately how each piece makes you feel is the story. What you wear is the story. Fashion is, like, the icing on the cake. That's, like, the next level part, the style. But I don't think the point is style. I think it's about learning to use fashion or what you wear as a tool to embody your best self that's possible to you.
- MRMel Robbins
So when you say fashion therapist, what are you teaching women to learn about themselves based on the decisions they're making when they open their closet in the morning and they decide what they're gonna wear?
- EWErin Walsh
I, number one, I want women to, like, stop. I want them to take a pause and get clear on who they want to be and what their potential is. And I think, like, the therapy is you can't do that without having compassion for yourself. Because you don't get to decide how you feel when you wake up in the morning, and most days, some of- we, we may feel anxious, or tired, or bloated, or, you know, jet lagged, or confused, or not our best self. So how can you have compassion for yourself and take a pause to get clarity, to return back to who's that person I want to be, and how do I want to feel? Like, that's where the compassion comes in, and that's like self-therapy. That's self-care, ultimately. It's, it's a pause that, like, those moments and those rituals, if you choose to bring them into your life every single day, they will change your life.
- MRMel Robbins
Even just taking a pause is a radical idea. Because I'll just say, before meeting you, I would throw open the door to my closet, and I don't pause. I throw open the door, and I think the first thing I think is, "Okay, what am I gonna wear?"
- EWErin Walsh
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
Maybe I think about my dayAnd then I go through the process that I think a lot of us do of looking through a lot of things that probably don't fit me.
- EWErin Walsh
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
And I feel discouraged and overwhelmed.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Because unlike you, I was not into style and fashion.
- EWErin Walsh
Sure.
- MRMel Robbins
I was like a-
- EWErin Walsh
And most-
- 12:23 – 17:28
The 6 Words To Instantly Transform How You Feel
- MRMel Robbins
Erin, what's the one question you want people to ask themselves?Before they even open the door to the closet in the morning
- EWErin Walsh
How do I want to feel?
- MRMel Robbins
How do I want to feel?
- EWErin Walsh
Six words.
- MRMel Robbins
Six words that we're gonna ask ourselves every morning. You're about to open the closet. You're gonna stop for a second and go, "Okay, how do I wanna feel?"
- EWErin Walsh
How do I wanna feel? That's your compass. That's where you start.
- MRMel Robbins
I, I, I'm pausing because I don't think anybody ever does that. I think we go, "What should I wear?"
- EWErin Walsh
They jump.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, what fits?
- EWErin Walsh
Right. And then that starts the spiral of dysfunction.
- MRMel Robbins
Why do these six words, how do I wanna feel, why does this fundamentally transform the way you look at clothing and how clothing is a tool to help you create the life that you want?
- EWErin Walsh
When you start from that point of view, number one, that first honors who you are. A lot of people jump to the doing or to the honoring how everybody else needs me to feel.
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- EWErin Walsh
Or how, how do I want to be seen, which is a different thing. If you start from a place of how I want to feel, that honors you, and it, it's, it's like a message of you, like, not just offering compassion to yourself or a lens of love, but it's deciding that you matter first, and by you embodying your best self, you can better, like, walk in the world.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, what's interesting, and I'm just kinda getting this right now, is that when I ask myself, "What the heck am I gonna wear?" And half the things in my closet don't fit, or I don't like them, or they feel like an old version of me, I'm already making a decision to dress based on what I think is gonna look okay to the world-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... versus stopping to ask myself this intentional question-
- EWErin Walsh
Totally
- MRMel Robbins
... how do I wanna feel?
- EWErin Walsh
And when you dress from a place of wondering if it's good enough for the world-
- MRMel Robbins
Yes
- EWErin Walsh
... you've already decided that you're not good enough for the world.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- EWErin Walsh
By you a- asking yourself, "How do I want to feel?" You're deciding that what you think and what you feel matters, and that's the lens to operate with the rest of the world. It's, it's, comes, it's shifting it from a place of not good enough to ownership, that au- aut- authenticity-
- MRMel Robbins
That how you feel and your energy matters.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah. It's like-
- MRMel Robbins
I don't even consider it. Well, I consider how negative I feel.
- EWErin Walsh
Totally. And that matters because, like, you need to see that person to embody that person. They go together. It's not like you leave her on the bed and then you, like, go be your best self all day. They go together. You need to honor that person. And what I want to do is shift how women see their possibilities and their potential and what's, what they see for themselves, and that's why, like, I see the closet as a portal to possibility.
- MRMel Robbins
There's a couple things that Erin has already said that I'm just gonna highlight 'cause I do not want to have you step over it.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- 17:28 – 25:39
What to Wear When You Hate Everything in Your Closet
- EWErin Walsh
pieces.
- MRMel Robbins
Can you just put us at a typical Tuesday? It's 6:30.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
My energy is at the floor.
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And I say, "How do I wanna feel?" But I-
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... feel like I don't like anything in my closet. [laughs]
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And how does it work in real life-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... in that moment?
- EWErin Walsh
So I, uh, first of all, I ha- I still am there all the time, so it's not like, you know, I make this method, I'm, I'm the one who's fixed. I, I have children, like, cr- crawling all over my head at night. Like, I'm not getting a decent night's sleep. There's a lot of balls in the air that I'm trying not to drop.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, and they're, like, all under the age of 10.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Three of them.
- EWErin Walsh
They're delicious angels, but they don't let me sleep, and that's okay. That's part of this process. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
So Erin's waking up exhausted just like you and me.
- EWErin Walsh
I'm waking up exhausted.
- MRMel Robbins
It's 6:15.
- EWErin Walsh
My body's not perfect. I, like, you know, have had three kids. There's a lot going on that I don't necessarily need to unpack right now. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you hide it well in the clothing that you're wearing.
- EWErin Walsh
Well, thank-
- MRMel Robbins
So-
- EWErin Walsh
... thanks, well. Um, what I love as an exercise is, you know, you need to know at least three pieces in your closet-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep
- EWErin Walsh
... that you feel great about.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- EWErin Walsh
Like, for me, I, I need to have an excellent pair of jeans because whether... If, if I'm into feeling effortless, easy, and elegant, they need to fit well. I, I love to have, and I'm, you know, I'm wearing these things today, I love a great white shirt, not because it has to be white, but because, like, the crispness of it, the structure, like, it makes me feel like-A little bit strong, but also a little bit elegant.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- 25:39 – 31:46
How to Find Your Personal Style (Dress for the Feeling You Want)
- MRMel Robbins
so the first tools, and I love that we're thinking about fashion-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... not as you gotta be the most stylish person, but it's a tool-
- EWErin Walsh
It's not about that
- MRMel Robbins
... to embody how you wanna feel today.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah. And the most stylish people, I don't think you're remembering what they wore. You're remembering who they, like how they-
- MRMel Robbins
What do you mean? 'Cause we all follow people that we think have great style.
- EWErin Walsh
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And then we're like, "What do I, what do I, da, da, da, da, da. What do I think?"
- EWErin Walsh
But it's, it's what they're embodying. That's what we're responding to.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- EWErin Walsh
Like, there, of course there's gonna be the element of, like, that's a beautiful dress. But the people you remember because of what they wear, it's about how they are. And how they are is informed by how they feel always.
- MRMel Robbins
I'm so drawn to people that look effortlessly-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... confident.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I think happy.
- EWErin Walsh
That's where the joy is, because the joy comes when you are in alignment, when your inside's aligned with your outsides. That's, like, the key to happiness and possibility. Um, I, I, it's, it's wh- it's another reason why this is so important and so, like, the key to becoming the person you want to be. Because you can put on that suit, but until you connect it with an element of yourself and how you want to feel and who you inherently are, then it's not gonna make sense. It's certainly not gonna tell the story of you to the world.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, I've, I just realized in this method of dressing intentionally, I've been doing this completely the opposite.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So either I only anchor down on how I actually feel right now-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah, and that's-
- MRMel Robbins
... and then dressing-
- EWErin Walsh
... heavy
- MRMel Robbins
... like, aligned with tired, exhausted, I gotta-
- EWErin Walsh
Sure
- MRMel Robbins
... get through the day. Oh, my God. Um, or you're dressing to impress somebody else. But I haven't actually asked myself how I want to feel.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, if you're going to a networking meeting, or you're going to a parent-teacher conference.
- EWErin Walsh
Sure.
- 31:46 – 37:43
Closet Cleanout: How to Let Go of Clothes You Spent Money On
- EWErin Walsh
The next layer.
- MRMel Robbins
The next layer being that most of our closets are like a graveyard of the old versions-
- EWErin Walsh
Yes
- MRMel Robbins
... of ourselves.
- EWErin Walsh
Um, so everybody does this. There's so many reasons. You might buy something that's very expensive and you have, like, guilt ba- about it. A lot of people have clothes with price tags in their closet. A lot of people do this.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes, I have that.
- EWErin Walsh
And then they won't even give it away or sell it, just because they're like, "Well, maybe," and the thing with holding onto something because you might be that person, it still doesn't relate to who you want to be. It's like you're trying on that thing for size. You already know it doesn't resonate with you. Um, I recommend trying everything in your closet on for this reason.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- EWErin Walsh
Like in the exercise of knowing how every sing, every single piece makes you feel, you have to know how it feels on your body.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, so walk me through-
- EWErin Walsh
It's, it's crucial. You have to.
- MRMel Robbins
So, so you walk into the closet, the art of intentional dressing, you pause. You say, "How do I wanna feel today?"
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And you're looking for three words. If you're staring at things-
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm
- MRMel Robbins
... that represent who you no longer are or who make you feel, or that make you feel bad about yourself-
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... 'cause you can't fit in it.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah. How are you gonna-
- MRMel Robbins
Or maybe that dude that dumped you bought it for you.
- EWErin Walsh
Totally. People hold onto the nostalgic items. I think, like, with nostalgic pieces, if there are some, of course, like, if there's a sweater of your mom's or, like, you know, your grandma's or, uh, someone you loved, I'm not saying get rid of that. That's fine. Like, you can even have a separate place for that if, if you want, if, if you have the luxury to do so. But I, I think, like, you have to, the clarity, it all starts now, and having clarity on how you want to feel, who you want to be, how you're gonna operate in every single room. Every single thing that you own, starting in your closet, but then later in your whole life should, even including the people you let into your life, should reflect that. Um, and so-
- MRMel Robbins
So we try on everything-
- EWErin Walsh
So you gotta do that
- MRMel Robbins
... and we look at it, and we say, "How does this make you feel?"
- EWErin Walsh
E- every single piece, and that's, that's the great part about it. You, you start getting intentional. You can feel when you're not, and then you start feeling like, oh, I'm, I'm not being true to myself. And even on the day when you're feeling so lazy and so fat and like so not good, i- on that day, you get a chance to do that again, and you can find her again. And then at the end of the day, when you're really tired, and being your best self was really exhausting 'cause you're sick and, like, it's just been a little bit overwhelming, you can, you can, like, have a little compassion for yourself and put on the thing that makes you feel soft and cozy. Like, it's all these chapters of the day. Like, I had this-
- MRMel Robbins
And I love that you're not, you're telling us other than getting rid of the stained underwear and, like, putting up some money so that you get some new ones, you're not saying you have to buy anything.
- EWErin Walsh
It's not about buying. I encourage people to make a laboratory in their closets.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- EWErin Walsh
So, like, so you wanna make it fun. I, I think quarterly you gotta do this exercise of going through every piece in your closet. How does it make me feel? Try it on. Take pictures of yourself in the pieces so you can create a photo album on your phone so you... And then even if, if you're, like, next level, you put together the pieces that make you feel great, and you experiment with outfits and you learn how they work and why, so that if you're feeling lost in the morning and what the F do I wear, you have, like, a go-to, like, greatest hits section that's quite helpful. You have to take some time to experiment. And most people, like we did this yesterday. I love, like, with, with, like, even your basic white shirt, you put it on backwards, and that's telling a different story of you, and that might sound very weird to some of you, so don't get scared. But I'm telling you, when you just try on things differently or you pin it up differently and, and you decide, you know what? Those jeans that I've been wearing for two years, I think they look cuter when they show my ankle, because that's really feminine, and that makes me move a different way. And all of us have something that we feel great about or at least okay with, and you can start there. That's your baseline, and then you go up from there.
- MRMel Robbins
So what do I do if nothing feels like me anymore?
- 37:43 – 40:32
How to Look Better Instantly: Tailoring, Structure, and Proportions
- EWErin Walsh
that's-
- MRMel Robbins
So what's the best way to look better, and dare I say a little thinner, without having to lose weight? Like, how do we look like our best selves-
- EWErin Walsh
Uh, tailoring
- MRMel Robbins
... when we're not at our best place?
- EWErin Walsh
So number one, tailoring. Like, most people wear clothes that don't fit their proportions correctly.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- EWErin Walsh
So even with, like, a bold shoulder, you still want it to honor the s- like, the lines of your body. Tailoring, number one. I, I think, like, that, that does it and, and pr- and understanding proportionally what feels good and structured on your body. Structure will always offer you-
- MRMel Robbins
What is structure? I don't even know what that means
- EWErin Walsh
... structure from your undergarments, and that's not about, like, undergarments hiding, like, cellulite or whatever. That's about supporting the shape and the structure of your body.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- EWErin Walsh
So I tell everyone, you don't need to have, you know, the Hollywood t- tailor to the stars. Your dry cleaner is an excellent tool for this, and make sure your pant hems mat- like, that you take care of that. Make sure with your jackets they're not swallowing you, or if you want, like, an oversized blazer, make sure proportionally you're, you're matching.
- MRMel Robbins
So what parts of my body am I looking at? Am I looking at my shoulders-
- EWErin Walsh
Shoulders
- MRMel Robbins
... to my waist-
- EWErin Walsh
Waist
- MRMel Robbins
... to my-
- EWErin Walsh
Hips.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- EWErin Walsh
I would look at, um ... I, I think most women need a pant that they can wear with a heel, and as you were telling me, like, your pant that you can wear with the sneakers or whatever-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, I have the, the-
- EWErin Walsh
... so they need to be tailored accordingly
- MRMel Robbins
... my favorite, I have my favorite pair of jeans, although they're not my favorite anymore, but there's, they were s- they were acceptable.
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
They look good.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
I bought them, I bought two pairs.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
One that I wear with a heel and one I can wear with a flat.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah. I think, um, uh, women need to invest in, like, layering pieces to, like, as-
- MRMel Robbins
What does that mean?
- 40:32 – 43:46
Stop Hiding in Clothes That Don’t Fit
- MRMel Robbins
So let's talk about clothes that don't fit.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Should I keep them?
- EWErin Walsh
No. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
But you- what? Okay.
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs] But do you know-
- MRMel Robbins
Why, why do you not keep clothes that don't fit?
- EWErin Walsh
We're all, we're all guilty of this. I, like, you can give them away.
- MRMel Robbins
Don't I wanna walk into my closet and feel like crap about myself because-
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
... I'm surrounded by things that I can't squeeze into?
- EWErin Walsh
The mausoleum. [laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah, I, I had a pair of pants on that I tried on for you last night. I have held onto these suckers for six years.
- EWErin Walsh
No.
- MRMel Robbins
My menopause body does not work. I was able to zip them up, and you were just like, "Those do not fit you."
- EWErin Walsh
No.
- MRMel Robbins
It's time to say goodbye, Mel.
- EWErin Walsh
It's time, and how exciting is that? You're becoming-
- MRMel Robbins
It's not exciting
- EWErin Walsh
... you're becoming-
- MRMel Robbins
Because I feel like I spent a lot of money on them-
- EWErin Walsh
You did
- MRMel Robbins
... and I didn't get the wear out of it.
- EWErin Walsh
You did, and there's things you can do so that you don't have to feel bad about that.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, what do you do?
- EWErin Walsh
You can, you can sell your clothes. I love to donate clothes to charities, like a, a charity like Dress for Success.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- EWErin Walsh
Those women are actively trying to feel like their best selves. If you wanna-
- MRMel Robbins
That's true
- EWErin Walsh
... donate, like, if you want to shed some selves that aren't working for you, give it to someone looking for their new self that deserves that, you know, portal to possibility. Give them that chance. I also love the idea of sharing, like, like share circles with friends and family that you love.
- 43:46 – 1:03:17
What to Wear Postpartum (To Embrace Your Body)
- MRMel Robbins
And so I asked three women that I love who are in all different stages of life. One is postpartum, another one is post-menopausal, and another one is a grandmother who is post-cancer and post knee replacement. All three of them know your method. They were instructed to ask themselves this morning those six words, "How do I wanna feel?" And now we're gonna talk to each one, and the first is Jesse. And I just have to say to you listening or watching, Jesse is one of our extraordinary video editors. She has edited almost every-
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs]
- MRMel Robbins
... episode of this podcast. So Jesse, you had a baby less than a year ago, and how has getting dressed every morning changed since having your beautiful daughter, Ava?
- SPSpeaker
It has been the hardest mental hurdle, I think, that I was not prepared for, to dress postpartum with a completely new body, new sizes that you've never had to shop for, look for, wear. You're getting hand-me-downs because you're like, "This is gonna be a phase."
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
"It's gonna fall off."
- EWErin Walsh
Totally.
- SPSpeaker
As soon as I'm done breastfeeding, or as soon as... Or if I s- stay breastfeeding, something's gonna happen.
- EWErin Walsh
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
It doesn't, and it's just been a v- just a... Postpartum itself is hard, let alone how to dress yourself. 'Cause you can easily fall into the, the slump of the Adam Sandler vibe of just baggy everything-
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... which has been a, a lot of my wardrobe the last year.
- EWErin Walsh
Shop your size call for that. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- EWErin Walsh
It's okay. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
It's all comfort. And there has to be an elevated person who shows up, because the baby's one thing, but I actually told my husband this. We did it. We did the first year.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
We're about to hit the one-year mark. This is huge. What an amazing year it's been, but this next year we need to pivot it back, and that's what I'm trying to figure out of how to navigate. It just starts with your clothes and how you feel and your confidence back-
- EWErin Walsh
Mm
- SPSpeaker
... because it's not like the weight's gonna fall off tomorrow. So yeah, it's been a very big hurdle.
- EWErin Walsh
There's so much to unpack with what you just said.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- EWErin Walsh
Congratulations.
- SPSpeaker
Thank you. Thank you.
- EWErin Walsh
It's beautiful becoming a mom.
- MRMel Robbins
So Jesse, until you learned the six words, let's go back, like, a couple days.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
When you would walk into your closet in the morning, how did you feel?
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] Um, everything is right now oversized, which to me I'm like, it fits, it's comfortable, it has to be easy to maneuver with a little one, with just the ups and downs of her standing and walking, and now she's crawling. And, um, so I never have felt good, that Jesse that was like, "I love this outfit. It's, it looks beautiful on me." That, I don't know that person right now. 'Cause it is a new year, and it is a whole new wardrobe, and, but I, it takes a toll that I was not expecting.
- EWErin Walsh
Yeah. How did it impact you?
- 1:03:17 – 1:14:14
A Practical Guide to Finding Your Style During Menopause
- EWErin Walsh
so much.
- MRMel Robbins
All right, we're gonna bring on Amy next. So we're gonna have you switch spots with Amy. So we have Amy, who is a senior producer on this podcast. You have been producing this show with me since episode one.
- SPSpeaker
That's right.
- MRMel Robbins
We were on the floor of my closet together.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs] Yes, and look where we are now.
- MRMel Robbins
And now [laughs] here we are.
- SPSpeaker
Talking about clothes.
- MRMel Robbins
And it's perfect 'cause you're also producing this episode.
- SPSpeaker
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So Ame, I would love, since you and I are in the same category-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... post-menopausal.
- SPSpeaker
Post-menopausal, yes.
- MRMel Robbins
Three kids.
- SPSpeaker
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
You still have one at home, but-
- SPSpeaker
I do
- MRMel Robbins
... otherwise, you know, empty nest.
- SPSpeaker
I, yes, and I'll also say I have 17 extra pounds that I am not too excited about, so, you know-
- MRMel Robbins
Thank you, menopause
- SPSpeaker
... represent the women, yes-
- MRMel Robbins
Yes
- SPSpeaker
... that are in the same boat. Yep, absolutely.
- MRMel Robbins
And before you started producing this episode and learning about Erin's intentional dressing method-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- MRMel Robbins
... how would you get dressed in the morning?
- SPSpeaker
Literally, I'd probably dress like an 11-year-old boy. Like, whatever's clean-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm
- SPSpeaker
... whatever looks good, whatever, you know, my mom says is, is okay, like, that's what I would do. It was like a low bar.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- 1:14:14 – 1:32:21
How to Make Getting Dressed Fun Again
- MRMel Robbins
too. All right, let's bring in Cindy. Cindy.
- SPSpeaker
Mel.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs] I love you. Um-
- SPSpeaker
Love you back.
- MRMel Robbins
You are an incredible member of this team.
- SPSpeaker
Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
You are a grandmother. You are also a breast cancer survivor.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And you just had your knee replaced.
- SPSpeaker
I did.
- MRMel Robbins
And I am so excited to hear how learning and trying this intentional dressing method from Erin Walsh worked for you. But let's start with, how would you normally get dressed?
- SPSpeaker
Well, let's see. I wear my pajamas until 9:00 now, 'cause I'm retired. I get up, I have my cup of coffee-
- MRMel Robbins
Wait, you're retired? Wait, you- w- you work for me. What are you talking about? [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I'm retired. I retired up to Vermont and then I worked again.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
My job is very flexible. When I came up here and I did retire for about a year, all my city clothes were, were gone. I wasn't gonna ever use them again, so I needed a new wardrobe that was gonna work for my daily routine and my needs. So I get up, I have fun when I look in my closet, what I'm going to wear, but it's limited. I basically live in leggings and jeans, and I have one pair of corduroy pants for the winter. And I like bright colors for the most part. I like sweaters in the winter. Um, so it's just like, what's today going to be?
- MRMel Robbins
So especially coming out of surgery and that recent diagnosis last year of breast cancer, how did going through two big physical things with your body change the way that you relate to your body and to dressing?
- SPSpeaker
Well, I mean, it wasn't easy. You know, I went through nine months of treatment. You know, I had a lumpectomy, then I had chemotherapy. I lost all my hair. But the one thing I did was every time I went to chemo, I'm a pink person, as you can see. I wear pink.
- MRMel Robbins
So, so tell us about your outfit.
- SPSpeaker
So I am wearing a pink vest that before Erin I would only wear in the fall or the s- you know, the late spring. I would never wear it in the winter. And then I thought today after thinking about what you were suggesting to us, well, I can wear it in the winter under my heavy coat and it will look cute in the winter.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
So I went for my leggings. I went for the, love the T-shirt. I wear J.Crew T-shirts all the time. And the pink vest under my winter coat, and I can wear it 12 months a year now rather than just two seasons.
- EWErin Walsh
I just wanna add that it's not just any pink color. It's like the most vibrant, shocking, electric, delicious pink fuchsia ever.
- SPSpeaker
Mm.
- EWErin Walsh
And it matches your gorgeous lipstick. And the canvas you have underneath is entirely black, black leggings, black T-shirt. And your socks, can you tell us what they say, please? 'Cause I very much like the... [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I'm too old for this shit.
- MRMel Robbins
[laughs]
- EWErin Walsh
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Not for this, but anyway. They were given to me by someone very special, and so they're, they mean a lot to me, so I wore them today. And sometimes I feel that way. I'm obviously older than, you know, the other team members here, and sometimes I feel that. But now getting up and getting my clothes will not be an ordeal. It will be fun, and, um, fun is an important part of life, and you, you need it.
- MRMel Robbins
What were your three words when you asked yourself, how do I wanna feel?
Episode duration: 1:32:23
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