8 Realistic Healthy Habits That Make a Huge Difference

1. 0:00 – 3:20

   Introduction

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar0:00

      Everyone listening, you probably think you are an excellent multitasker. A 100% of us think that we are excellent multitaskers. The truth is, only 2% of human brains can effectively multitask. Multitasking is a scientific myth. There is no such thing. If you can do 20 minutes of a walk every single day, great. It's the equivalent of a Facebook scroll. Seriously, we all scroll.

   2. MRMel Robbins0:21

      That's true.

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar0:22

      Or Instagram, or, choose your poison.

   4. MRMel Robbins0:24

      So you say in your research that there are six elements that make up an incredible life. What are they?

   5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar0:31

      It... (clock ticking)

   6. MRMel Robbins0:34

      Hey, it's your buddy Mel. And you know, the other day, I was standing in the grocery store, staring at the pickles, and it occurred to me, "You know, Mel, you haven't changed the way you grocery shopped in probably five years." I move through the grocery store the exact same way every time I walk in the door. I buy the exact same things. Most of the time, I don't even have a plan. I bet you're the same way. I mean, have you ever stopped to think about it? Just imagine if I were to put a tracker on you. I know that would be kind of creepy, but let's just say that I was gonna put a tracker on you. I bet if we mapped you going into the grocery store about a dozen times, you would walk the aisles the exact same way every time you go, you would stop at the exact same spots every time. Well, today, you and I are gonna learn that there is a much better way to grocery shop, a way that's gonna lower your stress, a way that will make you healthier. I mean, this is gonna blow your mind because you are going to learn it from a Harvard medical doctor. I mean, how cool is that? We're going to the grocery store with a Harvard medical doctor. But that's not all. Harvard's Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, one of the world's leading experts on stress, she is back. You loved her the first time she was on the Mel Robbins podcast. She is back with eight proven and very simple hacks on everything from how you and I can grocery shop better to one change that she makes all of her patients do whenever they are on a Zoom call. It immediately is gonna lower your stress. She's also here to teach you about the life-changing impact of something called a fake commute. I don't even know what that is, but I want one and you're gonna want one too. And she's also gonna explain that there is this habit that's related to your bottom. Yup, you know, the thing that you're probably sitting on right now if you're listening to me, if you're in your car or you're at work. But there is this particular habit that you have that's related to your rear end. It is slowly killing you. Wait till you hear this research and what you need to do about it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg on the things that you are going to learn today. And more importantly, what I love about this conversation is that these are simple changes that you're gonna be so inspired to make in your day-to-day life that are gonna lower your stress, amplify your happiness, and make you healthier. And what I love is you're gonna be able to make immediate changes to your habits that are gonna make you feel healthier with this advice from Dr. Aditi. And here's how we're gonna do this. We're gonna go down to our studios in Boston for this incredible conversation. I just wanna jump right in. Take us to the grocery store. How does a Harvard doctor shop?

2. 3:20 – 7:00

   Shop this way in the grocery store and you may lower your cholesterol.

   1. MRMel Robbins3:20

      What are the best foods to buy? Let's hear your secrets.

   2. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar3:23

      A simple thing I tell my patients is to walk the perimeter of the grocery store. So, as you go into your grocery store to figure out, "What am I supposed to eat to heal or to strengthen or protect my gut-brain connection," just go on the perimeter. You have fruits and vegetables. That's really important for a strong gut-brain connection. You can go into the dairy section for fermented foods like yogurt, kombucha, kefir. There's so many fermented foods that are there. Whole grains and then lean proteins. You can follow, also, a Mediterranean diet. And that word is kind of deceptive because it's not really a diet. It's a way of life.

   3. MRMel Robbins3:59

      Mm.

   4. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar3:59

      The Mediterranean diet is sort of the gold standard in terms of the way of eating. It's been used in all of the countries in the Mediterranean for eons, for centuries, and now it's slowly making its way here to the US. So focusing on a plant-based diet, eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, minimally processed foods, whole grains, beans, nuts, oils like olive oils, and minimizing dairy and red meat. And most importantly, here in the US, the reason I mention the periphery and the perimeter of the grocery store, because here in the US and likely in other countries as well, when you go into a grocery store, the perimeter is where you have the produce, the dairy, grains and meats. And in the center, all of those aisles are processed foods. Many of them are ultra-processed foods, especially here in the US. And so you want to minimize your consumption. This is not about becoming a monk and leading an existence-

   5. MRMel Robbins4:52

      (laughs)

   6. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar4:52

      ...where you are not engaging with food, because food is pleasure.

   7. MRMel Robbins4:56

      Mm.

   8. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar4:56

      And it is important. And especially when you're feeling a lot of stress, eat a little chocolate cake. It's good for you. It's good for your soul. I certainly don't refrain. But it's about when you create a habit and when you have that habit of a slice of chocolate cake... I talk about this in the book with one of my patients, a slice of chocolate cake every single night at 11 o'clock, and then it starts affecting your, you know, your cholesterol and all of these other things. And then you're saying, "Okay, wait a second, I gotta get a handle on this." And it can be a slippery slope. So really trying to focus, be practical in what you eat. It doesn't have to be this huge lifestyle overhaul. A little bit can go a long way. So if you can make some simple swaps, you know, like put a few forksfuls of sauerkraut in your sandwich today when you're having lunch, or at night, and, you know, have a little bit of extra hel- extra helping of vegetables. Simple daily things can make a big difference in the long run. And it then, what this does is when you have prebiotics, probiotics, this sort of Mediterranean diet, it doesn't have to be all day every day, but if you can start slowly incorporating a little bit at a time, it strengthens your microbiome.

   9. MRMel Robbins6:03

      Wow.That is super cool. So, as a, uh, Harvard-trained medical doctor, when somebody comes into your practice, do you advise them to take supplements to improve their gut?

   10. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar6:16

       Every day, people would come in with bags of supplements and say, "What should I take, Dr. Narulkar? What's gonna help me, what's not gonna help me?" My standard line for every single patient who came in, I would look at all of their medications, I would write them on the medical record. To me, very much taking a supplement is like taking a medication, right?

   11. MRMel Robbins6:35

       Right.

   12. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar6:35

       And so, my approach is always to strengthen and give people a sense of empowerment to heal themselves from inside out. And so, that's not to say I wanna... You know, I don't want that to be taken out of context. I very much am a part of the medical system. I believe deeply in the conventional medical system, in medications to treat conditions. But I mean, when people come to say, "What supplements should I take for my stress and my

3. 7:00 – 8:55

   Are supplements really necessary?

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar7:00

      burnout?"

   2. MRMel Robbins7:00

      Mm-hmm.

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar7:01

      I say try... You know, 'cause I've had patients come in saying, "I sleep four hours a day. Can you tell me the best supplement to take-

   4. MRMel Robbins7:07

      (laughs)

   5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar7:07

      ... to take to manage my stress and burnout? I drink, you know, four cups of coffee a day, sometimes seven or eight cups of coffee a day. I sleep four hours a day. I'm just powering through. What's the best supplement to take?" My answer is that sleep is a therapeutic intervention. Let's focus on your sleep. Let's decrease your caffeine intake. Let's get you moving a little bit. These are the supplements that I want to really instill in people, rather than popping a pill.

   6. MRMel Robbins7:31

      I fucking love that answer. And you know what else I'm- I'm thinking about, is the fact that, you know, we kinda just roll our eyes or we don't... When- when you hear the advice, right? Just get better sleep. Shop the perimeter of the grocery store. Like, these small interventions, right? It's easy to dismiss this because you think that the stress is so big or your problems are so big that there's no way that something so little would actually impact something so big. And I have always found in life that the bigger the problem and the bigger the issue, the smaller the solution.

   7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar8:15

      I would say parent yourself back to a better state of health. You know that when... If you are a parent listening, or if you think about how your own parents were, maybe that's not the best example because you might not have had great parents, but you know what it means to be a good parent, right? Like, a good bedtime, protecting sleep, minimizing screen time, eating good food, a little bit of exercise every day. There are things that we tell our children all the time. If you don't have kids, you have nephews and nieces. There are things that you know will help them. Of course, the adult brain is different than a child- a child's brain, but the adult brain is developing as well because of the principles of neuroplasticity. Your brain is a muscle,

4. 8:55 – 12:35

   If you think you’re too old for positive change, listen to this.

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar8:55

      and it responds to external stimulation and external influences, even today. I've had patients who have been 80 years old and made behavior change, and that has made all the difference in their stress and burnout. So these small little things actively influence the brain because of neuroplasticity, and can change and rewire your brain for less stress and burnout.

   2. MRMel Robbins9:15

      How does sitting all day impact your stress?

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar9:19

      As you may have heard in pop culture, sitting is the new smoking. The science shows that sitting, it's not just that exercise is good for you and moving is good for you, for your stress, anxiety, burnout. It's that sitting is actually bad for you, and it can increase your sense of anxiety, stress, and burnout.

   4. MRMel Robbins9:40

      Wow. Maybe we should have ordered standing desks around here. (laughs)

   5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar9:45

      (laughs)

   6. MRMel Robbins9:46

      Thank God we're only in here two w- two days a week.

   7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar9:49

      And of course you want to sit and... You know, for me, when I... I can never use a standing desk. I can't think right. I need to sit down and do my work-

   8. MRMel Robbins9:57

      Mm-hmm.

   9. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar9:57

      ... and have my deep thinking. I wanted to share a couple of pretty alarming statistics about sitting. There was a study of 800 people, and the ones who sat the most, this is like knock-your-socks-off data. The people who sat the most had 112% higher risk of diabetes, 147% higher risk of heart disease, a 90% higher risk of death from heart disease, and a 50% higher risk from death overall. All to say that sitting is actually bad for our health, our well-being, and as it turns out, your stress and burnout.

   10. MRMel Robbins10:37

       How does sitting trigger stress?

   11. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar10:40

       The mechanisms of action aren't entirely clear. But the data suggests that when you are sitting for prolonged lo- prolonged lengths of time, you know, you're stewing in your own emotions, so to speak. And so, it's that getting up and moving creates a whole cascade of positive biological changes to your brain and your body. And when you're sitting-

   12. MRMel Robbins11:05

       Mm.

   13. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar11:05

       ... for long periods of time, it... That doesn't happen. It also has a cardiovascular benefit, or rather, it's detrimental to your cardiovascular health to just sit, because the body is meant to move. Your body is a- the greatest machine, and so use that machine to do what it's meant to do. It doesn't have to be... You know, you don't have to become an Olympian. But certainly, getting up and moving a little bit every day, even if it means five minutes between your Zoom meetings, get up, take a walk, stretch. Sitting for prolonged periods of time, because think about it. We sit all day at work, that you sit all day at work, and then you sit in a car going back home, and then you sit on your sofa all day. So our- the human body hasn't been designed to just sit all day. We are meant to move and move our bodies.

   14. MRMel Robbins11:50

       As a doctor, what do you recommend? My watch has that standup thing. I love it.

   15. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar11:55

       I love it, too.

   16. MRMel Robbins11:55

       And I don't realize how- uh, how much time will go by, and it's like, "Oh, I haven't stood in two hours? Holy cow."

   17. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar12:00

       I love that. I would say there isn't necessarily a prescription, like a dose relationship for sitting and when to stand up, and what's the dose of standing and sitting? Just do it when you can.You have a two-hour meeting, kink, stand up. Right after that two-hour meeting, instead of sitting on your Slack channel and responding to emails or doing all of those things, get up and walk around. There is something to be said, right? Like Plato, Aristotle, all of these greats talked about the benefit of a walk, that mental health-

   18. MRMel Robbins12:29

       Hmm.

   19. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar12:29

       ... benefit of taking a walk. And so it doesn't have to be this long, profound walk. Just get up and stretch your body. Do some gentle

5. 12:35 – 16:20

   This is what sitting all day does to you, according to science.

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar12:35

      stretching, some exercising. Connect your breath to your movement, to your posture. This is really important because that's, like, a way to tap into your mind-body connection as well.

   2. MRMel Robbins12:43

      How can you use your commute or time that you're spending carpooling as a moment for reset?

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar12:51

      85% of employees right now favor hybrid work. I am a hybrid worker, as are you, as are many people in- on your team. There are so many benefits with hybrid work, increased autonomy, greater productivity, and less stress and burnout, as it turns out. However, our commute, back in the day, when we all used to commute to and from the office, it served two important roles. The first was geographic, getting you from point A to point B. The second, more important, was psychological. It got you out of home mode and into work mode. Think about when you're working from home what you do. You set up your laptop, often on your kitchen table because many people don't have an office, right? So you set up your laptop. You do all of your morning stuff to get the kids ready, or to get yourself ready, or get your dog, or pets, or spouse, or partners, and then you just sit down on your laptop and you start your day. Or you sometimes just get out of bed. Hopefully you're doing the five-second rule. You get out of bed, brush your teeth, put on some clothes, sit down at your laptop. Your brain loves compartments. That is why in 2020 when we were parenting, living, and working in the same space, it was very difficult for us to function, because your brain needs compartments.

   4. MRMel Robbins14:02

      Mm-hmm.

   5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar14:02

      When you are giving yourself no time to transition from home mode in your bed, asleep, to work mode on your laptop, your brain can't adjust as well. So what you can do is you fake your commute, especially if you're working from home. It can, again, five minutes, two minutes if that's all you have, get your laptop, your workstation set up. Maybe you have a desktop. Get your workstation set up at your home.

   6. MRMel Robbins14:26

      Yeah.

   7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar14:26

      Maybe it's the kitchen table. Put on your clothes that you're wearing for the day. Get out of your pajamas. Head outside. Take a small walk. Go grab a cup of coffee. Look at your to-do list. Look at your schedule and your meetings. What do you have planned for that day? You are- take a few minutes to just map out the day, come back into your workstation, your, quote unquote, "office," and start the day.

   8. MRMel Robbins14:49

      Why does it work?

   9. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar14:50

      It works because it honors your need for brain compartmentalization while still you reap all of the benefits of a hybrid work model or working from home, the flexibility and all of that. The reason it works is because your brain needs time and space to transition.

   10. MRMel Robbins15:06

       Hmm.

   11. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar15:06

       We are multidimensional creatures, humans, and we have many roles that we fulfill. And we have to honor all of those roles and each of those roles, and it- this fake commute allows us to honor all of those roles, but also honor ourselves in the process. And it gives you time and space to transition out of home mode and into work mode, and it's that buffer and reset you need. And if you can, try to bookend it. So at the end of your day, instead of finishing up that last meeting and rushing to daycare or rushing to get dinner ready. You know, a lot of times what we're doing throughout the day when we're working from home, we'll say, like, "Oh, I'm gonna do the laundry, and I'm gonna do this at the same time."

   12. MRMel Robbins15:44

       Ugh.

   13. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar15:44

       "And I'm gonna do that at the same time-"

   14. MRMel Robbins15:45

       Yep.

   15. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar15:45

       "... 'cause I'm home-"

   16. MRMel Robbins15:46

       Yeah.

   17. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar15:46

       "... might as well unload the dishwasher or load the dishwasher."

   18. MRMel Robbins15:49

       Yeah.

   19. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar15:50

       Instead, when you create that fake commute, bookend it day and evening, it creates a little bit more structure-

   20. MRMel Robbins15:56

       Hmm.

   21. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar15:56

       ... and it gives your brain a reset.

   22. MRMel Robbins15:59

       That is brilliant, and it makes so much sense. Like, I sit here and I'm thinking, "But I'm trying to cram it all in. And I- get my exercise in, and now I'm running late, my first Zoom meeting, so I'm just gonna leave my exercise clothes on and pull my hair up in a ponytail, and then I never actually pull out of that mode." And so this, based on how you explained it and the science and what your brain

6. 16:20 – 20:10

   How your work commute can actually benefit your mindset.

   1. MRMel Robbins16:20

      needs, seems like the perfect solution. Again, free. Anybody can do it. It'll take you two minutes, and it will help you manage your stress. I love this. I'm curious, since you were talking about, um, hybrid. What's your recommendation about video calls and stress? Like, is there any research or anything that you teach audiences when you're talking about, like, how to be on a Zoom? And I ask that because I've seen, uh, lots of recommendations about turning your camera off, and so I just wondered if you had anything specific.

   2. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar16:54

      It is a real entity. So in- during the pandemic particularly, there was an entity called z- Zoom dysmorphia. We don't ever look at ourselves that much during the day, right? And so when you are on a Zoom, you are looking at yourself. And so there was this uptick of people who were not feeling very good about how they appeared and how they looked because they kept looking at their faces. If it makes sense for you, shut off your camera if you can. If you need to be on, be on. My rule of thumb right now is that, like, just showing up is enough.

   3. MRMel Robbins17:28

      (laughs)

   4. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar17:29

      You're on audio? Great. You're present? Great. I don't do anything else when I'm on the call, but I will often say, "Hey, do you mind if I'm just gonna shut off my camera?" And I cannot tell you I am met with that such enthusiasm. "Do you mind if I shut mine off too?" "No, let's just have a conversation." Or, "Do you wanna just talk on the phone?" "That would be great." So people welcome that. We all have Zoom fatigue. It's a real entity. It's not, like, laughable, like, "Ugh, you don't have Zoom fatigue." Of course you do. Your brain is not wired to look at yourself all day every day. There's something very unnatural about that. So it has been shown to have ramifications, you know, mental health ramifications in terms of how you look. But if you wanna shut off your camera and you feel more empowered and you feel like you'll get your work done better or you'll engage better by shutting it off, shut it off. More power to you.

   5. MRMel Robbins18:13

      Talk to me about multitasking.

   6. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar18:15

      So in that day of working from home, you do the fake commute morning. Hopefully you do it in the evening, but maybe you just do it once a day. Morning is more important than the evening.And in the day, if you are feeling like you are multitasking or during your workday you are multitasking, it's the way of the modern world. You have your Slack channel going, you have emails, you're doing your meetings. The thing about multitasking is even though we think is- it is a badge of honor and, you know, we pride ourselves on being multitaskers, right? Like, everyone listening, you probably think you are an excellent multitasker. 100% of us think that we are excellent multitaskers. The truth is only 2% of human brains can effectively multitask. Multitasking is a scientific myth. It is a misnomer. There is no such thing. When you are multitasking, what you are effectively doing is task switching, doing two separate tasks in rapid succession and your brain is wired to do one thing at a time. The thing with multitasking is that it weakens your memory, your cognition. It decreases your productivity, ironically. It also weakens your ability to solve complex problems by weakening your prefrontal cortex. We talked about that area that is very important for our brain and for adulting, right? We cannot afford to multitask. The world is filled with complex problems that urgently need solving. So the antidote to multitasking is mono-tasking. Mono-tasking is doing one thing at a time. Now everyone will say, people say this to me all the time, "I mean, come on, it's, like, totally unrealistic. I- I can't even bring that science into my life. Mono-tasking? Like, non-starter." You can bring in the science of mono-tasking by practicing something called time blocking. You've talked about it before as well. Let's say you have four work tasks to do in an hour. Instead of completing them all at once, spend five or 10 minutes on one task, then take a short break, then the second task, five,

7. 20:10 – 21:30

   Why you may want to turn your camera off during your next Zoom call.

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar20:10

      10, 15 minutes if you can, take a short break. So by the end of that hour, you have made headway on all four-

   2. MRMel Robbins20:15

      Mm-hmm.

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar20:15

      ... different tasks, but you have not weakened your prefrontal cortex in the meantime. The other important thing to note is that those brain breaks, we talked about the breaks. Instead of mindlessly scrolling, what do you wanna do in those short breaks? Go for a walk, stretch, try some of the breathing exercises, be mindful and present during the breaks. In fact, a science, a very fascinating study recently showed, they compared the brain scans of two groups of people and found that one group that took no breaks and they looked at their stress at the end, and then a group which sh- took incremental 10-minute breaks. And the group that took breaks at the end of the day had decreased stress, better cognitive function, memory, attention, and more engagement. And they s- the researchers themselves, they said these short breaks were a reset for the brain from cumulative stress. So if you think, "Oh my god, what's a 10-minute break gonna even do for me? Like, I am so up a creek right now with my stress and burnout," try it. The science shows that taking these short breaks can help reset your stress. It gets you into that Goldilocks zone of productivity. It helps you with multitasking and gets your prefrontal cortex feeling strong again. It's all kind of connected, Mel. You know, at the end of the day, it's all just one connected piece of tapestry here when we're talking about stress

8. 21:30 – 25:05

   Try mono-tasking instead of multitasking to improve your brain.

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar21:30

      and burnout.

   2. MRMel Robbins21:30

      As a doctor at Harvard, what do you do for exercise and movement? (laughs)

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar21:36

      25 years ago, I was a stressed patient looking for answers, and that is why, that was, that's my, uh, villain o-origin story of how I became a doctor with an expertise in stress, is because I was a stressed patient looking for answers. I found my way out of the stress struggle, put on my scientist hat. I had gone to see a doctor and my doctor had said, "You know, go get a massage and just relax, just try to relax more." So I was like, "Okay, I'll get a massage, I'll have dinner with friends, I'll go retail therapy," all the things that didn't work. And so when I put on my scientist hat and I started looking and doing the research is when I really found out, "Okay, this is how stress impacts the brain and the body, and this is how I'm going to find my way out of stress." Movement was one. And then when I came out of that, I said I wanted to be the doctor that I needed during that difficult time. So that's my origin story. I mention that because movement was not something I did every single day. I was working 80 hours a week and, I don't know, I was running from one patient room to the other. I thought that was movement enough. And so what I did during that time, I was acutely stressed. I was so depleted and running on fumes, Mel, I was s- erratic in my food intake, my sleep, seeing death and dying on a daily basis. Self-care and burnout or even stress was not in my lexicon, it was not in my vocabulary. When I was training, in my medical training, my motto, how I was trained was pressure makes diamonds. Someone sat a whole group of medical students down in our first year or second year of medical training and said, "I just want you guys to know what you're about to go through, pressure makes diamonds." So I was like, "Hey, diamond in the making. Bring it on."

   4. MRMel Robbins23:10

      (laughs)

   5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar23:10

      And then my diamond cracked. So when I discovered al- all of the science around why movement is important and exercise is like E, the dreaded E word, no one likes to talk about it, so I, we can talk about movement-

   6. MRMel Robbins23:21

      Mm-hmm.

   7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar23:21

      ... we can talk about exercise. That, to answer your question, it has changed. When I was a stressed patient or a medical resident working 80 hours a week and I ha- was running on fumes and so depleted, I focused on gentle therapeutic movement. So I went to yoga class several times a week. That was my gateway to, I ha- went to a fir- couple of yoga classes. So just to say that doctors are socialized to play small. We don't share our own personal stories because we focus on the patient. So writing The Five Resets and sharing my personal story, I have to tell you, Mel, I might start crying, but you were an inspiration for sharing that story, because you share so much of your own personal stuff to help people. And I knew that the only way that people would relate to me is if I told them the truth and not, "I'm just doing this for my patients." It's because, no, I was a patient. I struggled with my stress and burnout, and that's when I became the doctor I needed during that difficult time. And so your story and your example was like a leading, sort of like a, a light that really, a lighthouse that guided me.

   8. MRMel Robbins24:23

      Well, I'm thrilled that you shared your story because you clearly are the doctor we all need.

   9. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar24:28

      (smacks lips) Thank you. And so during that really difficult time, I focused on a couple of days a week of yoga, gentle stretching, nothing much, and a few walks. So, I used to walk every single day, even if it's five or 10 minutes. Again, you might say, "What's a walk gonna do? It's gonna do nothing." Because it's not about the promise of physical fitness. This is the promise of mental fitness.

   10. MRMel Robbins24:49

       Mm-hmm.

   11. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar24:50

       And so a little bit of a daily walk, and the reason I walked every single day when I was a stressed patient, and why I suggest when people are feeling that acute sense of stress to walk is b- every single day, is because it avoids decision fatigue. If you say to yourself when you're deeply stressed,

9. 25:05 – 29:10

   How does a doctor at Harvard get her exercise?

   1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar25:05

      "I'm gonna d- go to the gym three times a week for an hour-long class." Okay? Then Monday rolls around, a deadline comes up at work, you don't go. Tuesday, there's a family obligation or a conflict, you don't go. Wednesday, same thing. And by Friday, you might have gone zero or one times. Your sense of self- your sense of self-efficacy goes down. You're like, "Ugh, I can't get anything right. Why bother at all?" And then your amygdala starts firing, right? 'Cause you're- the forward future planning prefrontal cortex isn't working as great. Instead, aim to do something a little bit every day, it avoids decision fatigue. Now, to answer your question, it's changed. So initially, I started my- I was a sedentary person. I didn't really exercise much. I was into dancing as a child-

   2. MRMel Robbins25:45

      Ah.

   3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar25:45

      ... but not sports. Now, I understand the value of sports for so many reasons. Gentle yoga and walks every day. 10-minute walk, that was like, "Yes, I walked. Check." This is not about, like, walking five miles a day.

   4. MRMel Robbins25:57

      I love that 'cause everybody- 'cause the person listening is like, "Okay, how long? What do I do?" And it's just 10 minutes, just 10 minutes.

   5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar26:02

      Five minutes is fine too. If you can do 20 minutes of a walk every single day, great. It's the equivalent of a Facebook scroll. Seriously, we all scroll.

   6. MRMel Robbins26:10

      That's true.

   7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar26:11

      Or Instagram, or choose your- choose your poison. It's the s- it's the equivalent of a scroll. Opt out of a scroll and go for a walk instead. Do it in between your meetings if you can. Five, 10 minutes, every single day. It's that inertia that you're tr- y- you know, sometimes it feels like you're wading through molasses when you're feeling stressed of, like, lacing up your sneakers and going outside. And if you say, "Oh, I'm gonna do this for 45 minutes," forget it. You're never doing it. But if you say, "Oh, five minutes, I can do that," it's about closing that gap between where you are and where you'd like to be. And so five minutes. So then now what I do, because I am of a certain age, I focus on resistance training. I probab- I- I aim to exercise 30 minutes every single day. Does that happen every single day? No, but I probably get in four to five days of exercise. And that includes walking, or if I do a 40-minute walk one day, I won't do resistance training, but I do some form of movement every day. So now I focus on resistance training and, um, balance because for me, I've always- I've been very into fitness over the past several decades, as you have, (smacks lips) and endurance, flexibility, and strength, right? Those are my three things that I was like, "Okay, that's what I'm gonna be focusing on." But I realized I got on a balance board, like, two months ago, and I was, like, falling off.

   8. MRMel Robbins27:28

      (laughs)

   9. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar27:28

      It was crazy. I'm like, "What happened to my core strength? I thought it was great." It was comical. And so every day I get on that little board. I have one, it's a wooden board. I stand on it when I'm taking a work call, when I'm taking a meeting, and I just incorporate it into my day because it's hard to exercise. When you are feeling a sense of stress, lacing up those sneakers and doing something and moving your body feels like wading through molasses. And you have to make it easy, easier than you even think. You have to say, "What is this even gonna do? Fine, I'll do it anyway." A lot of the way I describe it to patients, so I really focused on behavior change and the psychology of habit formation. When you're talking about how to get people to engage in positive behaviors-

   10. MRMel Robbins28:10

       Mm-hmm.

   11. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar28:10

       ... you are a master of this, it is about making things small and tangible and decreasing the barriers to making-

   12. MRMel Robbins28:19

       Yeah.

   13. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar28:19

       ... the taking that step.

   14. MRMel Robbins28:20

       Yeah.

   15. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar28:20

       So fine, you don't want to put on your sneakers? Take a walk up and down your hallway in your house. Walk up and down a set of stairs. Research has showed that it, in fact, to decrease- there was a study that was done that ultra-short bursts of activity, one to two minutes, so walking up a set of stairs or going to, you know, parking far away when you're going to the grocery store. We all look for parking really close to the entrance. Park far away. Take a walk up to the grocery store. Run for the bus or walk quickly to go get the bus or the subway. These short, they're called ultra-short bursts of activity, can decrease your risk of dying from cancer by 40%.

   16. MRMel Robbins28:56

       (smacks lips) Wow. You heard the doctor, get your walk on every day. 10 minutes, that's all she's saying, and it's gonna lower your stress.

   17. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar29:03

       Another thing you can do as you're walking is think of it, I mean, you don't have to think about it this way, but I used to, is I hated to meditate. And when

10. 29:10 – 34:50

    Stop thinking about exercise in such a big way.

    1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar29:10

       you're feeling a sense of stress, the last thing you wanna do is get into your head. But in fact, when you're feeling stressed, it's so important, right, to, like, get out of your head and into your body. So I- people would initially recommend meditation. It was so foreign to me at the time. Now I've been meditating for 25 years, but at the time, it was so foreign to me. So what I did is movement meditation. I would walk for 5 minutes or 10 minutes every single day. It was like part of my day, I would park my car after a 30-hour shift. And instead of walking directly into my building in Philadelphia, I would take the long way-

    2. MRMel Robbins29:41

       Mm-hmm.

    3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar29:42

       ... the scenic route, and I would time myself. I did it first- it was- I did two minutes. It felt good. I was like, "Oh, that feels good. I'm gonna do it again for a little longer." So every day it built up and up, and you focus on your feet on the floor as you're walking. Your feet have 30 bones and 100 muscles. And so when- as you are walking, it's a grounding force. And so you walk, you breathe-

    4. MRMel Robbins30:02

       Mm-hmm.

    5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar30:02

       ... you think about your day, and over time that, you know, over time that walk could increase. You can also say, "Oh, I now have that sense of daily movement. I've made it into a habit." Then you can add your gym sessions. No one has ever- the, the thing that bothers me about exercise so much of the fitness industry, while I love fitness for myself, none of my patients have ever been propelled or fueled by the promise of...... cosmetics, so taut bellies or biceps, that doesn't appeal to someone who is feeling a sense of stress and burnout. But if I say... 'Cause m- even me, when I was working as a resident a- 80 hours a week, I w- had a state-of-the-art gym in my building, Mel. It was in the basement. I walked in. I knew, I was a doctor. I knew that exercise was important. It was a gym in my building. I walked into the basement, into the gym, opened the door, saw the mirrors everywhere, the crazy machines, the techno, the blasting techno music, turned around, and walked right back out. Never went in there again.

    6. MRMel Robbins31:02

       Uh, I so relate to that story. And I was also thinking that it's not that motivating either because if I'm that stressed out, I'm not thinking about being in a bathing suit. I'm not thinking about going to a party. I'm literally thinking about how the hell I'm gonna get through my day. And so, I love that you pointed that out because the promise of a 10-minute walk outside is that you can do it. It immediately makes you feel better. It's a way to engage in moving meditation. It also gives you a sense of control back and agency because you're seeing yourself follow through on something that you know is gonna make you feel slightly better. There are medical benefits to doing it. And as we're learning over and over and over from you, that you are sending a signal to your amygdala, "Reset, I'm in control. I'm gonna take a deep breath and take myself on a walk, and I'm gonna put myself back in control, and that's how I'm gonna manage my stress." Fantastic. Doctor Aditi, I know I've said it before, but (laughs) I just love all of the wisdom and the science and the tips that we can put to use immediately. There are so many people that I'm gonna share this with. And as you're listening, please share this episode because it will really make a difference in someone else's life, and it's a simple way to say, "I really care about you." And you can send 'em Doctor Aditi to help. All righty, we're gonna take a quick pause, hear a word from our sponsors. We will be waiting for you with more tips, more wisdom, more science after a short break, so stay with us. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and because you're here with me on YouTube, I took out my own ad because I wanted to say one thing. First of all, hit subscribe because that really helps support this channel, helps me bring you free videos. Second, make sure you take advantage of this free workbook that I've created as a thank you to you for subscribing to this channel. This workbook is gonna help you answer the single most important question you could answer in life, which is, what do you really want? It's a surprisingly hard question to answer, but now it's not, because you have the science-backed approach that I use in my work, in my marriage, in my life, to help me get to the truth about what I actually want. This workbook uses science. It is free to you. You can get your hands on this puppy in just a minute. Click the link below and it is yours as my thank you for being here and supporting this channel. Again, this is gonna help you answer the question, what do you want? Because if you can't answer that question, there's no way you're gonna get it, so use science and let me support you in answering the question and gaining the clarity and the courage that you need to figure out what your next move is. All righty, take advantage of this, melroberts.com/what. Hit subscribe, and let's get back to the video. Mwah. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel, and I'm here with the amazing Doctor Aditi. And let's just jump right back into it. So Doctor Aditi, how long does it take for all these changes to become new habits?

    7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar33:54

       It doesn't happen overnight. It takes eight weeks to build a habit. Understanding that it takes a little bit more time 'cause you may fall off, give yourself a solid three months to get there, and you will get there. The reason you have a most goal is because it is a concrete metric that you can measure for yourself. And it can be many things. I've had patients who've said all sorts of things, "I want to feel healthy enough to take a bike ride through Europe." "I want to run a marathon," lots of physical things, right?

    8. MRMel Robbins34:21

       'Kay.

    9. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar34:21

       It doesn't have to be something external. It can be something in- internal, but I would say that framing it as a positive and say to yourself, "I want my future self to be X, Y, and Z," fill in the blank. "I want my future self to have better sleep." Or you can be fed up and say, "I'm sick of not being able to sleep through the night. I want to sleep through the night." Motivation comes in many different forms.

    10. MRMel Robbins34:43

        Yeah.

    11. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar34:43

        It can be positive and energetic, but it can also be that you're just fed up of your own shit.

    12. MRMel Robbins34:48

        (laughs)

    13. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar34:49

        But if you start

11. 34:50 – 36:45

    Here’s why 6-pack abs and a “bikini butt” are not motivating.

    1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar34:50

       these today, give yourself eight weeks, but you will see a difference within a week. By the weekend, you should start feeling better. These things take shape quickly because your brain and your body are rewiring all the time. Your brain is a muscle. Neuroplasticity, a very fancy science word, but it means your brain is a muscle. It's not a grab bag, like what you got for birth is what you got for life.

    2. MRMel Robbins35:11

       (laughs)

    3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar35:11

       That's not what it is. Your brain is like a muscle, just like a bicep. So w- you know, when... In exercise, we... The, the thing with sleep that's fascinating is that, like with exercise, if you did, you know, two-pound dumbbells-

    4. MRMel Robbins35:23

       Right.

    5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar35:23

       ... like 100 curls with your biceps, you'd know that it's doing something. I mean, it's not gonna do as much as like a ten-pound, but you try it anyway. You're like, "You know what? I'm gonna try it." So think of your brain as a muscle, try things out, experiment, understand that doing a little bit, a simple change, like keeping your phone off your nightstand, could make all the difference and could be a game changer. It doesn't have to be this big, giant lifestyle overhaul. Also, your brain cannot handle big lifestyle overhauls when you are feeling a sense of stress 'cause even positive change, like all of these things that we're talking about, change is considered a stressor to your brain.

    6. MRMel Robbins35:56

       So you say in your research that there are six elements that make up an incredible life. What are they?

    7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar36:03

       The, the prescription I give, and it's probably one of my most universal prescriptions, it is this idea of live a lifetime in a day. So the genesis of this idea is I had a colleague early on in my medical training, my first year out of residency, and he loved to play the guitar, and he worked many, many hours as a doctor, but his great passion was guitar playing. And he would say to me... It was a Thursday, and we were both signing charts, and he said, "Ugh. I can't wait only two more days until I can play my guitar." And I said, "What do you mean?"He said, "Oh, I can't play during the week. I can only play on the weekend, and I'm, I'm so busy during the week, so I barely get any time. Last week, I didn't play at all." And I said, "Why not? Why can't you just play tonight when you get home?" And he

12. 36:45 – 38:10

    Mel has a FREE workbook for you!

    1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar36:45

       said, "What do you mean? It's a weekday. I like to do it on the weekend." And so Live a Lifetime in a Day is a direct response to that conversation, because I thought, "Why are you living for the weekends?"

    2. MRMel Robbins36:55

       Mm.

    3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar36:55

       "Why don't you bring in all of the good stuff during the week? Play your guitar every day." I had another patient who used to say similar things to me about also, ironically, guitar playing. Live a Lifetime in a Day is about thinking about the six elements that make up a long arc of a meaningful life and bringing them into your day, every day, so when your head hits the pillow at night, you rest your head feeling like, "Wow, I had a fulfilling day," even in the midst of stress and burnout. So I can go through each of those very quickly. So the first is childhood. Can you do something today, even if it means two or five minutes, to embrace that sense of wonder and curiosity and play, really live in that timelessness of the present moment? We call this a state of flow in science-

    4. MRMel Robbins37:41

       Ah. Mm-hmm.

    5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar37:42

       ... and it is, it does have a mental health benefit and a therapeutic benefit. So can you look at... Can you do something that creates a sense of childlike wonder? Play simply for play's sake. You're not getting a reward for it. No one's watching you. It's just bringing you joy. Next, work. This one's an easy one.

    6. MRMel Robbins38:00

       (laughs) Yeah, we need to stop working, it sounds like.

    7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar38:03

       Yeah. (laughs) Can you engage? For us, it's a few hours. For others, it's less. Now, this doesn't have to be paid work. It can be unpaid work, but something

13. 38:10 – 39:20

    How long does it take for changes to become new habits?

    1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar38:10

       that creates a feeling of meaning and purpose, a sense of accomplishment.

    2. MRMel Robbins38:13

       Mm.

    3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar38:14

       Then, can you spend a little bit of time in vacation? Also an easy one. Enjoying and reveling. Again, we talked about... We, we haven't covered this-

    4. MRMel Robbins38:23

       Take a walk.

    5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar38:23

       (laughs)

    6. MRMel Robbins38:23

       Enjoy. Like, do what you do on vacation, right? Go outside.

    7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar38:25

       Yeah. Just ponder. Let your brain ponder. Let your mind wander. There are lots of health benefits to that mind-wandering brain circuit. Next, spend time in community, whether you have a family, or your chosen family, or your friends. That doesn't mean you have to sp- be with them all day or even... You know, you don't have to be present with them, but check in with someone. Send a text message. T- pop on a quick call. Just say, "Hey, just wanted to hear your voice." Connect with someone, because we know that has great mental health benefits. Loneliness is equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Next, as much as you are engaging with community, spend a little time alone, because we know that that fosters creativity. And finally, retirement. This one's my favorite. Spend a few minutes reflecting on your day, taking stock of your accomplishments, so when your head hits the pillow at night, you feel like, "Wow, I really did a lot." This does not take time. I know it's six steps, and

14. 39:20 – 42:55

    Six elements of a good life. Start adding them today.

    1. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar39:20

       it feels like, "Oh my God, there's no way I'm gonna fit this all into a day." It can be two minutes, but just so you hit all of those points so you are not on that hamster wheel of just, like, work, constant work, constant work. It will also help with your stress and burnout. It will increase your sense of fulfillment. And I think I just wanna say one thing about happiness. It will make you happier, but the right kind of happy. Just like there are two kinds of stress, there's good, healthy stress and bad, unhealthy stress, there are two kinds of happiness. One is hedonic happiness. This is really under- easy to understand. It's Netflix binges, fast, fancy cars, beautiful purses or designer clothes, all the bling. This is something that we really understand very well, because we think, "Oh, if only we get all those things, then we'll be happy."

    2. MRMel Robbins40:06

       Mm-hmm.

    3. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar40:07

       That's hedonic happiness.

    4. MRMel Robbins40:08

       Okay.

    5. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar40:09

       Uh, joy, pleasure. The second kind of happiness is eudaimonic happiness. Very long word. Hard to say, even for me. It... This is not that thrill kind of happiness. It is about purpose, meaning. It's contentment. So think about something that brings you joy, a sense of purpose and meaning. It doesn't have to be work-related, but you know, hobbies are a great thing. So when you're painting, do you feel that sense of connection to yourself? Are you engaged? Are you... So those two kinds of happiness are very different. They also have a different impact on your brain, on your stress and your burnout. You need hedonic happiness, those thrills and the pure pursuit of pleasure, for pleasure's sake or joy. It's like a Band-Aid, and it's-

    6. MRMel Robbins40:51

       Hm.

    7. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar40:52

       ... a gift to your brain and body. You have to do that. I have a list. I have a group chat with all of my girlfriends, and we suggest good shows on Netflix-

    8. MRMel Robbins41:00

       Uh-huh.

    9. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar41:00

       ... to watch. And that's like-

    10. MRMel Robbins41:01

        Yeah.

    11. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar41:01

        ... my hedonic pleasure. I love it. I just watched Shrinking. I met Harrison Ford recently, so he told me about Shrinking. I have to show you that picture. You'll love it. And then I watched Shrinking, and I loved it. It's about mental health. It's comedy. It's beautiful. I, like, ate it up. It was hedonic pleasure and hedonic happiness. But eudaimonic happiness... But that has no bearing on your-

    12. MRMel Robbins41:21

        Hm.

    13. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar41:21

        It has an immediate benefit to your stress and burnout and mental health, but it doesn't have any lasting benefits. But it's important. So it's not to say... Again, we're not leading a life of a monk. You want pleasure and joy and happiness in the moment. It also makes you feel good when you're feeling stressed. That's what I was chasing when I was a stressed patient. Massages, dinners out with friends, retail therapy. That's when people say, "Just try to relax." That's what we do. The thing about hedonic happiness, it's called a h- the hedonic treadmill, that we have a set point. That's why lottery winners, they win a lot of money, and then they come back to the same baseline of happiness.

    14. MRMel Robbins41:55

        Mm.

    15. ANDr. Aditi Nerurkar41:55

        The other kind of happiness is what we really need to start chasing and create a cultural conversation around eudaimonic happiness. This is about meaning and purpose, a feeling of connection. The science shows that this kind of happiness can actually change your cells, and your brain and your body know the difference. There are genetic and cellular changes that happen in your body with eudaimonic happiness. They don't happen with hedonic happiness. (whoosh)

    16. MRMel Robbins42:22

        Dr. Aditi, you're the greatest. I mean, I love your advice about meditation in particular, because I'm married to somebody who has been a sit-down, close-your-eyes, be-still meditator for a decade.Every single day for a decade, this guy meditates. And so I always made myself wrong, because I really couldn't sit still. So I love hearing from a medical doctor that you don't need to sit still. You can do a walking meditation and it absolutely still works and it counts. I love that.

15. 42:55 – 45:45

    Two kinds of happiness. Make sure you’ve got both in your life.

    1. MRMel Robbins42:55

       And as you're listening, I am sure you've been nodding along, smiling ear to ear. You're like, "I love Dr. Adidi." And there's probably somebody in your life that comes to mind. I mean, I know I'm gonna be sending this to my brother Derrick, to my friend Jody, who I want both of them to stay with me for a long time and in order for them to do that, they need habits, to be a little healthier, they need Dr. Adidi in their life. And maybe you're thinking of someone who is struggling to eat healthier or who works too much. You know who I'm talking about. You love them, and just like I want my brother and one of my best friends to be a little healthier, to take better care of themselves, you want the same for your friend. So share this episode with them. It is a simple way for you to say, "I love you," for you to say, "I care about you," and for you to get a little more Dr. Adidi into their life. I mean, you heard Dr. Adidi say that even as a doctor, she knew what to do, but wasn't in the right environment in medical school to develop the habits. I- I just love it when people admit this kind of stuff, don't you? And she didn't have people around her supporting her. In fact, they were telling her that she had to push harder. Eh, wrong advice. And so the thing about the people that you love is they've got you. They have you supporting them and you sending them this episode saying, "Hey, I love you. I see you." And here's a little love coming from Dr. Adidi and me. So please, please, please take a moment and send this episode to somebody that you love, 'cause it really does make a difference. And one more thing. In case no one else tells you today, I wanna tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to take all this inspiration and these eight amazing, simple, sneaky little hacks from Dr. Adidi and use them in your life, because I do see that for you. I want you to live a long and healthy and happy life. And if you take everything that you just learned today to heart and you put it to use in your life, you will. Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a couple of days. And because you're here on YouTube, I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so excited for you. Thank you for sharing this. And one more thing. If you love this episode, please, please, please show me that you loved it by hitting subscribe. It literally takes a second. It supports me, it supports me in being able to bring you free videos and world-class experts at zero cost for free every single day, so hit subscribe. I really, really appreciate it. Um, and also, since you're now super empowered by Harvard's Dr. Adidi, I wanna share another amazing medical expert, we're talking world class with you, check this video out next. You're gonna love this. This is on the

16. 45:45 – 45:57

    Mel’s favorite kind of meditation.

    1. MRMel Robbins45:45

       science of strength training and learning how lifting weights, even light ones, those are the kind of ones that I lift, will help you lose weight, feel better, and live longer. The science is fascinating. You're gonna love it, so check it out.

Episode duration: 45:57