Brain Hacks: 6 Secrets to Learn Faster & Unlock The Full Power Of Your Mind

1. 0:00 – 1:20

   Intro

   1. MRMel Robbins0:00

      You and I are gonna learn how to take better care of your brain. And if you really stop and think about it, why don't we? Why isn't there a user manual for the most important organ in your body? I mean, you literally cannot live without it. Six world-renowned experts are here to teach you daily tricks that will help you take better care of your brain and unleash its full potential. You're gonna get the simple science on improving your memory, the right foods to eat, and one thing that a renowned doctor wants you to avoid to have a better brain. Your mind is never going to be the same. (clock ticking) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and thank you so much for being here with me and taking the time to listen to something that could improve your life. That is just so cool and it's an honor to be together today. If you're a new listener, I wanna welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I'm so glad you're here. I'm Mel Robbins. I am excited to share this time with you. And today, you and I are talking about a topic that you may have never even considered, which is how you should be taking care of your brain. I mean, the same way that you brush your teeth or fuss with your nails, there are simple things you and I can do to make your brain better, sharper, smarter, and happier. And my mission today is to make you want to take care of your brain.

2. 1:20 – 5:02

   How often Mel thinks about taking care of her brain.

   1. MRMel Robbins1:20

      And I'll admit something to you, until I started the Mel Robbins Podcast, I didn't think about taking care of my brain, you know, I just thought about my brain and I pictured that sort of mound of macaroni that's, like, at the back of your head. After today though, it will not be an afterthought. Your brain will become a daily priority because you're gonna meet six world-renowned experts, including the number one brain doctor on the planet, professors from Stanford and Harvard Medical School, and researchers who are here for just one reason, to empower you with simple science-supported hacks and daily practices that will help you take care of your brain and unleash its full potential. And what I love about the six experts is that they all have this incredible message of hope and empowerment with all the simple hacks they're about to teach you. The fact is, you can build a better brain. And it doesn't matter how young you are or how old you may be, this is the truth, it's science. Whether you've had concussions, whether you did well in school or you didn't, whether you're a fast processor or slow processor, you can build a better brain using the simple, proven strategies that you're about to learn today. And the first expert I cannot wait for you to meet is Jim Kwik. Jim, like all six experts today, has appeared on the Mel Robbins Podcast, and if you wanna dig in deeper to his advice or anything that you're about to hear, just go to the show notes. You can find them at mellrobbins.com/podcast. And I wanna give you some context for what you're about to hear from Jim. When Jim was little, they used to call him, get this, the boy with the broken brain, and they called him that due to this freak accident that happened to him in elementary school in his classroom. He was standing on this chair in his classroom and he fell off it and hit his head on a radiator. And after that accident, Jim had incredible difficulty learning, studying, memorizing, and even simply functioning in the classroom. But luckily for you, he figured out not only how to heal his brain, but Jim Kwik is now a world-renowned brain coach teaching millions of people how to have a sharper memory, better information retention, and a happier brain, and today he is your brain coach. I want Jim, who is a world-renowned brain coach and the head of a very successful brain institute, to share with you this incredibly positive message about your brain. And we're gonna start here because his words are inspiring, they're based on the work that he does with thousands of people every single year and extensive research. And here's Jim after I asked him this question. Jim, do you really believe absolutely anyone can improve their brain? You need to hear this.

   2. JKJim Kwik4:11

      It's been my experience coaching people every single day for the past 32 years that regardless of your age, your background, your career, your diet, your education level, if it's your financial situation, your gender, your history, IQ, that we all can improve. It's about progressing beyond what you're currently demonstrating or what you believe is possible. We know that about one-third of your brain's, uh, performance if you will, like its memory, is- is predetermined by genetics and biology.

   3. MRMel Robbins4:42

      Okay.

   4. JKJim Kwik4:42

      And, but that means two-thirds is in your direct control. The- the- the idea here is we have more influence than we think.

   5. MRMel Robbins4:48

      All right, the brain coach just told you that you can change your brain. And so let's go to one thing that everyone wants to know how to improve, and that's your memory. So here's Jim again after I asked

3. 5:02 – 10:19

   Use this simple trick to remember anyone’s name.

   1. MRMel Robbins5:02

      him. Now Jim, I've tried everything. Can you tell me how the heck can I remember someone's name?

   2. JKJim Kwik5:08

      Here's the quick method, SUAVE. When you're... Next time you're at an event and you wanna, you wanna say I'm gonna remember names-

   3. MRMel Robbins5:15

      Right.

   4. JKJim Kwik5:15

      ... look at yourself, say, "I'm gonna be SUAVE." The S, say the name right away. When somebody gives you their name, greet them back using their name 'cause it means you get to hear it twice, and also it means you... You don't wanna have a 20-minute conversation with somebody, like say there's a lot of background noise, 20-minute conversation with Ted and say, "Goodbye, Ed," right? You wanna be corrected up front.

   5. MRMel Robbins5:36

      I like the fact that you say the name immediately because even if you say it wrong, they'll correct you and they're not gonna-

   6. JKJim Kwik5:41

      Yes.

   7. MRMel Robbins5:41

      ... be offended because if you say it immediately they... It's just that you heard it wrong.

   8. JKJim Kwik5:47

      Yes.

   9. MRMel Robbins5:47

      It's not that you didn't remember it. And also if you notice... Well, so keep going. So-

   10. JKJim Kwik5:52

       Yeah, no, absolutely. So you say the name, then you use it three or four times in the conversation. And then the A in- in- in SUAVE is-... ask. This works really well for people who have unusual names or names you haven't heard o- before. What can you ask about a person's name?

   11. MRMel Robbins6:08

       How do you say your name?

   12. JKJim Kwik6:09

       How do you say your name? How do you spell your name? Where is it from? Who were you named after? Does it mean something in another language, right? So everyone's favorite topic is their name, 'cause think about it, it's probably one of the first words you heard, probably one of the first words you learned how to write. So it's, it's, it's one of the reasons why it's the sweetest sound. But ask about a person's name, they'll be flattered, especially unusual names.

   13. MRMel Robbins6:30

       Okay, I just wanna make sure that as you're listening to Jim, you picked up on the fact that he has this acronym SUAVE. And SUAVE is what we're using as the tool to help us remember someone's name. You said it kinda fast, Jim, so I'm just kinda slowing it down for those of us who may not be as quick and the super brain as you are. The S is for say it. Got that, makes sense. Say it as soon as they say their name. U is for use it, which also makes sense, 'cause the more you use it in a sentence without being creepy, the more you're likely to remember it. A, ask about it. What does the V in SUAVE stand for?

   14. JKJim Kwik7:06

       The V in SUAVE is visualize, and this is how I do it in front of audiences. If there's time on stage, I'll have 30, 40, 50 people stand up, pass around a microphone, and I'll memorize, you know, upwards of 100 names, depending on how much time we have. But how I do it is I would just visualize the person's name, meaning most people listening are better with faces than they are with names.

   15. MRMel Robbins7:27

       Yes.

   16. JKJim Kwik7:28

       Right? You go to someone and say, "I remember your face, but I'm sorry, I forgot your name." You never go to someone and say, "I remember," the opposite, "I remember your name, but I forgot your face," right? That doesn't happen.

   17. MRMel Robbins7:37

       That's true. (laughs)

   18. JKJim Kwik7:37

       (laughs) Your visual cortex is l- takes up more real estate-

   19. MRMel Robbins7:41

       (sighs)

   20. JKJim Kwik7:41

       ... and so we tend to remember what we see. And if we tend to remember what we see, try seeing what we wanna remember.

   21. MRMel Robbins7:46

       Oh.

   22. JKJim Kwik7:46

       You meet someone for the first ta- time and their name is Mary, imagine for a split second that she's carrying two lambs underneath her arms. Mary had a little lamb. Right? You meet someone named David, just hit him in the nose with a slingshot. David and Goliath, right? And people say, "That's so childish," but that helps you to remember it, because if you could see it, feel it and hear it, you're not gonna forget it.

   23. MRMel Robbins8:08

       Got it. Okay.

   24. JKJim Kwik8:08

       Right? So you're hearing it, you're visualizing it, and you're making it kind of funny or ludicrous, and then you're not, you're not gonna forget it. So a person's name is Mike, imagine they jump on a table and sing on a microphone. And when you say goodbye to them, you're gonna remember, "Oh, that was the guy that did that." What's his name? Mike. Right? So a person's name is John, you could, well, picture whatever, whatever you picture, right? (laughs)

   25. MRMel Robbins8:27

       (laughs) Yeah.

   26. JKJim Kwik8:28

       And then, and then finally-

   27. MRMel Robbins8:30

       (laughs)

   28. JKJim Kwik8:30

       ... the E in SUAVE stands for end. End the conversation saying goodbye using their name. Because if you could walk into a room of strangers and leave saying, let's say 20 people, and leave saying goodbye to every single one of them, who are they all gonna remember? You, right? And that's a, that's a absolute standout, uh, standout skill.

   29. MRMel Robbins8:54

       It is a standout skill. And you know what? I love that end, which is the E in SUAVE, is you end the interaction with somebody by saying the person's name. I mean, that's a fantastic tip that makes it stick. And I also love that he made it easy to remember by turning this little hack into an acronym. And I'm gonna be so suave now. Say their name, use their name, ask a question with their name, visualize, and end with their name. And you just unleashed, boom, the power of your memory and built a better brain. I mean, how suave is that? I told you it was gonna be as easy as pushing back your cuticles, and then I just proved it to you. So thanks, Jim Kwik. Next up, Dr. Daniel Amen. Now, Dr. Amen is the number one brain doctor on the planet. Let me tell you a little bit about the Mel Robbins podcast alum, Dr. Amen. He is a double board certified psychiatrist, a nine-time New York Times bestselling author. I don't know where he has the time to write all these books, because he is also the founder and medical director of Amen Clinics, which has done nearly 200,000 brain scans on patients from 111 countries. By the way, including my own brain and my husband Chris's brain. And Dr. Amen is here today to tell you the exact habits and foods that make a healthy brain. Now, I want you to listen to his world-class advice, because here's what I asked

4. 10:19 – 12:40

   From the #1 brain doctor: these microhabits have a positive impact on the brain

   1. MRMel Robbins10:19

      him. I was like, "Dr. Amen, what are some of the micro habits that have the biggest impact on the health of your brain?"

   2. DADr. Daniel Amen10:25

      So I start every day with, "Today is going to be a great day." Because once you get the physical functioning of your brain healthy, you then have to program it. And so I knew I was gonna talk to you. It's the first thing that came up in my mind. So I start every day, and if you have children, it's really good to do this at breakfast, which is, if you have breakfast, is, so why is today gonna be a great day for you? Directing your mind, which for many people, because of evolution, um, they wake up in a negative state, it puts your brain in a positive state.

   3. MRMel Robbins11:09

      Hmm.

   4. DADr. Daniel Amen11:10

      And then my favorite of all the habits I do is when I go to bed at night, I say a prayer, and then I go, "What went well today?" And I go on a treasure hunt, and I actually start from the very moment I woke up looking for what was right about the day. And I've done this now seven or eight years, and even the night my dad died, it was an awful, awful day. Uh, I did it because it was my habit, right? The brain is lazy. It does what you nudge it to do. And so it really helped me even in a really hard time. But it's almost my favorite time of the day because, like you, I'm busy and great things will happen and I'll just not really focus on it.

   5. MRMel Robbins12:06

      I love the idea of a treasure hunt, and there's no doubt that if you make it a habit to ask yourself every single night, "What went well today?" In fact, why not ask yourself that question as you're brushing your teeth? Why not clean your brain of all the negativity while you're cleaning your teeth of all the crap that's on them? It's a simple habit for a better brain. And if you do it while you brush your teeth, what went well today? It's as fast as cleaning them. Now, I also asked Dr. Amen

5. 12:40 – 17:40

   The 5 foods you should eat for better brain health.

   1. MRMel Robbins12:40

      about brain foods, and he has a list of five things that you should be eating for brain health. What are those five things? Well, they're so simple, it's almost like as simple as picking out a polish for your nails. And by the way, I love that analogy because all of these things he wants you to eat are also quite colorful, like a nail polish. Here is Dr. Amen to explain the food you should eat for a better brain.

   2. DADr. Daniel Amen13:06

      Salmon, especially wild salmon for the omega-3 fatty acids. Berries, but they have to be organic. That's very important. Uh, so I'm a huge fan of blueberries. I often call them brain berries. Uh, but it's critical that they're organic. So people take, uh, blueberry extract. That system's shown to improve memory.

   3. MRMel Robbins13:33

      Okay.

   4. DADr. Daniel Amen13:35

      Nuts and seeds. Uh, people who eat nuts and seeds on a regular basis have a lower incidence of depression and dementia. Um, leafy greens, uh, for the fiber and the magnesium, but my favorite one is raw cacao or, you know, the main ingredient in chocolate. I want you to try this. I make brain-healthy hot chocolate virtually every day.

   5. MRMel Robbins14:09

      How do you make it?

   6. DADr. Daniel Amen14:10

      And so I get raw cacao. So for each serving, you know, say the serving's like 12 ounces, a heaping teaspoon of raw cacao, unsweetened organic almond milk, um, and you could do with other nut milks, but I like almond milk, and there's a company called SweetLeaf that makes liquid chocolate stevia.

   7. MRMel Robbins14:35

      Mm-hmm.

   8. DADr. Daniel Amen14:36

      And so I heat up the milk. I mix in the raw cacao. I put a couple of dropperfuls of, uh, chocolate stevia and put it in a blender. It tastes amazing, and it's part of the ritual I have for happiness in my life because, and this is very, a very important point, I only eat things I love that love me back. I mean, I don't know if you've ever been in a bad relationship. I have. I'm not doing it anymore.

   9. MRMel Robbins15:13

      (laughs)

   10. DADr. Daniel Amen15:13

       I'm like married to my best friend, and I'm damn sure not doing it with food. I am not gonna be in... 'Cause people go, "Oh, I love Rocky Road ice cream." Well, it beats you up. Or, "I love beer." Well, it shrinks your brain. And I'm like, "No. Do I love it like I love my brain-healthy hot chocolate? And it loves me back." So whatever you eat or whatever you do, I mean, we're in a relationship with what we eat and what we do, and is it a mutually positive relationship, or is it destructive?

   11. MRMel Robbins15:55

       So salmon, berries, nuts, seeds, leafy greens, and raw cacao. Eat those for a healthy brain. Now, I did not expect him to say hot chocolate is a brain food. Now I'm all in, and this episode just keeps getting better and better. Who knew that learning about your brain and how to take care of it could also be so fun? And it sure is better than going to the dentist, if you know what I mean. So let's spread the fun and share this with everyone that you love. You know the first two people that come to mind who need to know how to take better care of their brains are my daughters. If they were to spend half the amount of time taking care of their brain like they do with the amount of time they spend trying to make, uh, manicure appointments and figuring out what styles they're gonna do, who knows what would happen? I'll tell you what would happen. They'd have a smarter, faster, healthier brain. Next up is a Harvard doctor on the show who unpacked the research about how alcohol impacts your brain and makes your memory worse, and her research is so compelling and when you hear her share it and you truly understand the impact that alcohol has on brain function, you may feel way more motivated to stop drinking or at least cut way back. Dr. Sarah Wakeman is the senior medical director of Substance Use Disorder at Harvard's Mass General Brigham. Now, Harvard's Mass General Brigham has been ranked as the number one research hospital in the world. She's an associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, and she is absolutely outstanding in how she explains the relationship between alcohol and your brain. And I really wanted you to hear this because if you're trying to improve your memory or get mental clarity back, this is gonna be a

6. 17:40 – 21:00

   Harvard doctor explains how alcohol impacts your memory..

   1. MRMel Robbins17:40

      wake-up call for you. I asked her to describe how alcohol compromises your memory specifically, and here is what Dr. Wakeman said.

   2. AGDr. Amy Friedman (or similar alcohol/brain researcher guest)17:50

      Alcohol affects all parts of the brain, including the amygdala, which is an area that lays down memory. Um, and it, you know, has complicated actions in the brain, so it increases sort of, um, more slowing down hormones, so we think of it as a depressant, um, because it sort of slows you down and relaxes you, um, and it decreases more exciter- excitatory neurotransmitters, um, in the short term because your sort of- your consciousness is being affected. You won't be making new memories. Over the long term, heavy alcohol use can actually cause dementia. It can cause severe memory problems. There's actually a- a unique condition that we only see with alcohol generally where the part of your brain that lays down new memories gets damaged and people, um, get basically an amnesia syndrome where they can't make new memories, so they can only remember things from the past, but they're unable to make any new memories. And that's a very extreme example, but we see it in the hospital and it's really scary when it happens.

   3. MRMel Robbins18:47

      What do you see when you look at a brain where somebody's been a heavy drinker versus somebody that's occasional or very light?

   4. AGDr. Amy Friedman (or similar alcohol/brain researcher guest)18:54

      We actually see brain damage on people who've had chronic heavy alcohol use over many years. So if you, um, take a picture of the brain, like with a CAT scan or with an MRI, um, what we describe it as is volume loss. So normally you wanna see a big, healthy, robust brain, and as you age and with types of dementia, one thing that we see is the brain starts to shrink. So, like, the actual functional parts of the brain are smaller. We see that process accelerated with heavy alcohol use. So often take, uh, someone who's in their 50s who really shouldn't have volume loss of their brain at that age, but if they've been using alcohol at a very heavy amount for a long time, we'll often see their brain looks like a much older brain, um, because of that shrinking. And then there are very extreme examples like this rare memory condition where we literally see that part of the brain almost die. Like, you can see it light up, that it's been, um, severely impacted.

   5. MRMel Robbins19:43

      That news is a little scary, right? I mean, when you really hear her explain it in medical terms. But if your heart is sinking right now for yourself or for someone that you love, I do wanna remind you that your brain can get better. I mean, that's the coolest thing about your brain. And every single expert that you have met so far and every expert that we've had on the podcast, whether they're a medical doctor or a neuroscientist, agrees that your brain adapts to positive changes, which is why it's so important for you to start taking care of your brain the same way you brush your teeth every single day. And if you're sitting here feeling like, "Gosh, there's stuff I gotta do," this is your sign to take a step toward that better brain today. And this information, by the way, isn't just for you, it's for everybody that you love. So if you're tired of trying to get someone else to truly take a look at alcohol and the impact that it's having on their life, just let Dr. Wakeman explain what she just explained to you. All you gotta do is share this episode and it could be the wake-up call that the person that you love needed. And I wanted to end with some also really good news because Dr. Wakeman also shared something pretty extraordinary,

7. 21:00 – 22:45

   What the immediate health benefits of cutting out alcohol are.

   1. MRMel Robbins21:00

      which is when you cut back or stop drinking, there is a long list of immediate health benefits that you're gonna feel. Check this out.

   2. AGDr. Amy Friedman (or similar alcohol/brain researcher guest)21:11

      Yeah, you'll see a lot of really quick things. So one, you'll sleep better and feel more restored. You may lose weight. There's a lotta calories in alcohol, so if your goal is to lose weight, you're drinking a ton of liquid calories, so you may find that that's better. You may find that your exercise capacity goes up 'cause you're resting more and you're not having hangovers and you're able to exercise in a way that feels different. You may find that you're less irritable and more present for your loved ones, that your mood is actually better over time. Your skin might look better. You're less dehydrated. Your hormones are more regulated, so you may have less acne. So all of those benefits you can often see in a very short time and that can be reinforcing as you decide what you want your long-term goals to look like to really see what life is like with less or without alcohol.

   3. MRMel Robbins21:52

      I just feel better listening to Dr. Wakeman tell me all the things that are gonna improve. And I have promised since the beginning everything that you would learn today is going to be as easy as fussing with your nails. Simply cutting back on alcohol, one thing has all that benefit, I'm in. All right. Next up, we're gonna really switch gears now. In fact, you and I are gonna speed our way up. Get ready to meet Professor Ferrari. Yup, I kid you not. That is his name. And I'm not joking that Professor Ferrari is one of the world's leading researchers on the topic of procrastination. He is a renowned psychologist and professor of psychology at DePaul University. And once you learn the little shifts he's about to share with you, procrastination will never slow you down again. You and I are gonna jump right

8. 22:45 – 23:40

   What is procrastination according to a doctor of psychology?

   1. MRMel Robbins22:45

      into the interview right after I ask Dr. Ferrari, "What is procrastination?" Here's his answer.

   2. PSDr. Piers Steel22:52

      Everything shows that procrastination is a maladaptive lifestyle. You know, there's that expression, "If you want something to be done, you give it to a busy person." Why? That makes no sense. Why a busy person? 'Cause the busy person values your time and values their time and knows that there are things that have to get done. All right? So, um, this is not an adaptive strategy. Let me stop here and say I'm not shaming or condemning anybody who's a procrastinator. I'm gonna show you how procrastination is a learned tendency.

   3. MRMel Robbins23:24

      Hmm.

   4. PSDr. Piers Steel23:24

      And that means you can unlearn it. So that's how I would define it. It's irrational. It prevents you from reaching your goal. Everybody procrastinates, but not everyone is a procrastinator.

   5. MRMel Robbins23:35

      What's the difference?

   6. PSDr. Piers Steel23:37

      Uh, thank you very much. Uh-

   7. MRMel Robbins23:39

      (laughs)

   8. PSDr. Piers Steel23:39

      ... 20%

9. 23:40 – 27:15

   The difference between procrastinating and being a procrastinator.

   1. PSDr. Piers Steel23:40

      of adult men and women are chronic procrastinators. And as a research psychologist, those are the people I wanna study. 20%. Now you might say, "That's all, Ferrari?" That's higher than depression, substance abuse, panic attacks, alcoholism, right? And yet-... we treat this humorously. "I procrastinate." Well, do you procrastinate on one task, then you are... Then you procrastinate? Or do you procrastinate on var... On a variety of things? That makes you a procrastinator. 20% of men and women, no significant gender difference, 20% of people, all right, uh, will not RSVP on time-

   2. MRMel Robbins24:22

      (gasps)

   3. PSDr. Piers Steel24:22

      ... and wait till the gauge goes on empty before they get more gas or get to the third bill before they pay it. You know they're going to miss your birthday and your anniversary and Christmas, and you'll get the cards later, if you get anything, and all that. And they'll always have an excuse.

   4. MRMel Robbins24:38

      (laughs) That's me.

   5. PSDr. Piers Steel24:39

      Which for them-

   6. MRMel Robbins24:40

      That's me.

   7. PSDr. Piers Steel24:41

      Is this genetic? Are we just human nature? Are we born this way? No.

   8. MRMel Robbins24:46

      What?

   9. PSDr. Piers Steel24:48

      No, we're not born procrasti... Oh yeah, some people will say, (clicks tongue) "Well, there's nothing I can do about it. That's just who I am."

   10. MRMel Robbins24:54

       (laughs)

   11. PSDr. Piers Steel24:54

       You know, "I'm just... I'm always..." No, no. You know, you learned to be a procrastinator-

   12. MRMel Robbins25:00

       From who?

   13. PSDr. Piers Steel25:01

       ... so you can unlearn it. Oh, from dads, but we'll get... You want to go there first?

   14. MRMel Robbins25:05

       Dads?

   15. PSDr. Piers Steel25:05

       Yeah. So you learn to be a procrastinator, all right, so you can unlearn it. That's very optimistic. That means you're not condemned this way. Yes, you can teach old dogs new tricks. You just use a different bone and it takes them longer, but you can unlearn it. If you're born that way, if that's just who you are, then, then, then let's, let's call it a day.

   16. MRMel Robbins25:27

       Then you're screwed. (laughs)

   17. PSDr. Piers Steel25:27

       Then it's over. Then there's nothing we can do with it. And that's unfortunately too much of our culture, is this way. "Well, that's how they are, that's how people are." No, no. People can change. Let's be much more optimistic. Our culture reinforces, uh, procrastination. You know, we don't reward doing things early. We punish for being late in our culture.

   18. MRMel Robbins25:50

       Hmm.

   19. PSDr. Piers Steel25:50

       If I don't pay my bills on time, I get a fine, I get a, a extra charge on my credit card. If you're like me and my wife, uh, in our 39 years of marriage, we pay ahead of time, all the time. I get the bill, I pay it, because I don't... I just want to get rid of it. All right? All right. So at the end of the year, do they ever come back and say, "Thank you very much. Here's a little extra gift. Here's 2%." No. Our cultures don't reward us for doing things ahead of time; they punish us for being late.

   20. MRMel Robbins26:19

       What are the causes of procrastination?

   21. PSDr. Piers Steel26:23

       Fears. Uh, uh, "I'm afraid of failure. See, if I never finish, I can never be judged, so I'm afraid of failure."

   22. MRMel Robbins26:30

       Hmm.

   23. PSDr. Piers Steel26:30

       Let me explain what I'm talking about, okay? If I take my time doing something, if I don't meet the deadline and I delay, then I can simply say, "You know, I didn't have enough time. I, I know this is not the best thing. This is as good as I can get it, but if I had more time, I would have done better." So lack of effort is not a positive image, but it's a better image than, "I did it and it's a piece of garbage." You know, if you put something together and it's good... So people would rather have other people think that they lack effort, hence I procrastinate, than lack ability, 'cause I can't change ability. The next time I can try harder.

   24. MRMel Robbins27:06

       And so for a person who really is aching because they are in their own way, they see themselves sabotaging,

10. 27:15 – 33:44

    Small things you can do to stop procrastinating and self sabotaging.

    1. MRMel Robbins27:15

       what can somebody do in their own life after hearing this?

    2. PSDr. Piers Steel27:22

       Baby steps.

    3. MRMel Robbins27:22

       How... What are the baby steps?

    4. PSDr. Piers Steel27:24

       Start s- Start small. This is what cognitive therapists would ask you to do. "What would be the worst scenario?" First of all, what you're doing is you're looking at the forest and you're missing that the forest is made up of trees.

    5. MRMel Robbins27:37

       Okay.

    6. PSDr. Piers Steel27:37

       You know, there's that old expression, "Don't miss the forest because you're focused on the trees." That's not the procrastinator's problem; it's the other way around.

    7. MRMel Robbins27:44

       Oh.

    8. PSDr. Piers Steel27:44

       They see the forest. "Oh my God, this is a huge task. Holy cow, I can't get all of this done." And they forget that the forest is made up of trees.

    9. MRMel Robbins27:54

       Hmm.

    10. PSDr. Piers Steel27:54

        So listener, viewer, all right, it's made up of trees, and so what if you cut down one tree at a time? Oh, that's too much for you? Then let's give me three branches. You can't do three branches? I'll take a handful of leaves, because a body in motion stays in motion. Start small. Do something. And so what if you fail?

    11. MRMel Robbins28:17

        Don't you just love his passion and conviction? And I just wanted to take though a highlighter and highlight a few things because he does move fast like a Ferrari. First of all, you were not born a procrastinator. Don't you love knowing that? Your brain can unlearn the habit of procrastination, and to me, this is a very, very empowering message, and I have seen this play out in my own life. I used to be a huge procrastinator. I had no idea what to do about it. I thought I was just stuck being that way, and this is something you can change. And so I'm totally with Dr. Ferrari on this. It is true, you can train your brain to get things done on time. You can train yourself to chip away at it. Second, I want to make sure though to really highlight this metaphor that he used so that it lands for you, okay? 'Cause he was talking about the forest and the trees, and just to make sure that it really sticks, this is the way I think about it. The forest is the outcome. It's the thing you want to achieve, and when you think about the outcome, it's easy to get overwhelmed, and that's what makes procrastination kick in. You want to think about the action. That's the singular tree. It's the, "What do I need to wake up and do today?" And I'm going to give you a couple examples, because focusing on what you need to do today helps your brain beat procrastination. Here's how this works. So for example, if you want, uh, a beach body, just do arm exercises today. Do not get overwhelmed with trying to lose 30 pounds and getting cut and what's going to happen way down the line, because when you look far out at the forest, the research says it kills your motivation to keep going. That's why you have to just wake up and focus on what's in front of you today, that singular tree, that singular action, and completely forget about where it's going and the bigger picture. If you want to get ahead at work, here's another example, and earn that promotion-Stop freaking out about the bigger, "When is this gonna happen? What's going on?" It gets you so overwhelmed that you don't do anything, right? I want you instead focus on the one thing you can do today. One thing you could do today, you could have a conversation today with your boss about the fact that you do wanna grow with the organization and ask what do you need to do to make that happen. That's one tree and that's one way to move forward instead of paralyzing yourself by looking at the bigger picture. If you wanna move, here's another example. You've always dreamt of moving somewhere else. Stop, like, thinking about what it's gonna be like a year from now. Just take one action today. Research a place that you've always thought about living and don't feel like you have to go there. Don't feel like you have to figure it all out at once because when you focus on the tree, the one action you're taking today and you forget about everything else around, it helps your mind calm down and it keeps procrastination from slowing you down. Because the key here, what you're learning from the fast Dr. Ferrari is do not allow yourself to get overwhelmed by the bigger picture because it's when you're overwhelmed and your wheels are spinning that procrastination kicks in. Just focus on the simple action that you can take today and that is how you can use your brain to never ever let procrastination slow you down. Pretty cool, right? I am loving this and we have already covered so much. You've learned how to improve your memory. You've learned what foods you can eat in order to improve the overall health and functioning of your brain. You've learned how to use your brain to beat procrastination. You've also learned about the benefit of cutting back on alcohol and the immediate health impact that it can have. Next up, self-talk. You know that little voice in the back of your head? I mean, imagine if it were possible just like you can brush the gunk off your teeth that you could brush the negativity from your brain. I mean, just imagine that. Well, our next expert says that is exactly what you can do. Dr. Paul Conti is a renowned psychiatrist that trained at Stanford and Harvard and the way he taught us about the brain, it has stuck with me ever since I met him months ago. Dr. Conti is an expert on trauma which is connected to the subconscious mind and your self-talk. He's the author of the best-selling book, Trauma and the Invisible Epidemic. In fact, Lady Gaga credits Dr. Conti with quote, "single-handedly changing her life." He is her psychiatrist. Now, Dr. Conti made a huge impression on me when he was on the Mel Robbins podcast and spoke about how to train your brain to have better self-talk and I want you to listen to what he has to say because yes, improving your memory is really important, eating the right brain food, very important, but it's gonna be a whole lot easier to start doing those things to take care of yourself and following through if you feel like you're worth it and that's where your self-talk comes in. Your self-talk is tied to motivation. It's tied to self-worth. It's tied to everything which is why it's essential that you learn these simple daily habits that help you clean it up and make it more powerful and positive. Now, before Dr. Conti tells you how to do that, I first want to start with him explaining

11. 33:44 – 40:30

    What exactly is the voice in the back of your head?

    1. MRMel Robbins33:44

       exactly what the voice in the back of your head is and here's what he said.

    2. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)33:51

       There's often a- a sort of running, uh, dialogue or set of opinions inside of us that are in the background to our experience of life in the present and- and this can make a huge difference to how we respond to life in the- in the present, how we think about ourselves and how we think about the world around us if there's a lot more going on inside of us than what we're taking in at the moment. Very often it paints with a broad brush or if it's not painting with a broad brush, it'll come at the thing that is most distressing to us.

    3. MRMel Robbins34:26

       Hmm.

    4. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)34:26

       So the- the broad brush part could- could be just saying, "Oh, I'm a loser," right? Or even sometimes we see ourselves in the third person, uh, "You're a loser. You'll never make it," right? "You're just not good enough," or, um, "No one's gonna want me." No one's gonna want you. You know, we're- we're talking to ourselves and it's painting with a very, very broad brush that is- that is really kind of striking to the core, right? I mean, it's- it's hard to argue with something like that because it is- it's so pervasive, right? So instead of arguing with it, the idea is to recognize it and reject it, right?

    5. MRMel Robbins35:01

       How do you do that? (laughs)

    6. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)35:02

       So the- the broad brush is so important to realize because it will impact absolutely everything, right? If it's- if it's more- if it's not so broad brushed, then often it'll come at the thing that we most want. You'll never have a better job or that your relationship will never be better. You'll never find anyone. You- you'll never, uh, you'll never reconcile with a certain family member, you know, whatever it may be. You'll never be healthier. You'll never lose weight. You'll never be in better shape. What- whatever it may be that this comes at us and if you imagine... I mean, imagine that someone shadowed a person all day and just whispered in their ear, in their ear the worst possible thing. You know, we would be distraught. I mean, is someone to follow someone around and just tell them that all day, but we can do that to ourselves and- and that's not an exaggeration of like what would it be like to have someone following behind doing that all day and going through and exploring some of that when we can reflect on, get a handle on, "Wait, what is going on inside of me?" And it starts with curiosity. I think the starting place...... is always a curiosity about ourselves. And a, a lot of times just as a person doesn't want to go look at the trauma, "Why do I want to go look at that thing that makes me nervous?" So, you know, that, with that, that, that works very strongly against our curiosity about ourselves. And, and if we are sort of free to be curious about ourselves, it's not dangerous or threatening to be curious about ourselves, there's so much that we can learn. So just an example can be, "What does my self-talk like? What do I say to myself, right, in quiet moments? What do I say to myself if I do something wrong? Or what do I say to myself if I drop something? What do I say to myself if I approach a new social situation or a new challenge?" So we, we become curious about what... We can become curious about what is going on inside of us, and now we start to put words to things. And, and sometimes we can do that... We can do it sometimes just by thinking, but it's, it's... We, what we think can kind of go over and over again sometimes in our mind without being super productive. It's not always like that. But when we put it outside of us, it's different, which is why if we're talking to someone, that can make a difference, a trusted other about, "Hey, I was thinking about you. You know, like, I've been saying this to myself over and over. I realize this has been going on in me for years." Or can we, can we say that to someone else or, or can we write it, you know, writing it down, uh, journaling ca- can make a big, uh, difference in that way. A- and the talking to another person can involve a therapist. So, I very often will want people to understand, we can change this. Right? But it's gonna take us... I'm not sure. I might say, "You know, it's probably gonna be in the four to six-month range if we can really get our arms around this." And I want, you know, and hope that things can start improving a couple of weeks down the road, but, you know, it's a several month process. Like, let the person know that, because so often there's just a reflex that says-

    7. MRMel Robbins37:58

       Mm-hmm.

    8. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)37:58

       ... "Hey, somebody threw a medicine at you, right? And that medicine's supposed to make you better. Right? Let alone if it's, like, a couple of therapy sessions e- and that's supposed to make a person better." We need a rational framing for what's going on inside of us and, and to plot out, how do we actually get to change?

    9. MRMel Robbins38:15

       You know one of the things that I love about Dr. Conti is that don't you just trust him? Like, there... I don't know if it's the tone of his voice or just the way he explains things, but he's so honest and realistic. And if you try this strategy once and then you don't feel good immediately, you're gonna give up. And so I think it's super important that you understand that, yeah, you're gonna feel better within weeks. It'll really stick within months. But this is something that you can do every single day that's super fast and simple that's gonna have a big impact. And that's sort of, like, all the advice from every single doctor and medical expert on the show today, that there is this hope that's underlying all of it, that, yes, you can build a better brain. And based on what you just learned from Dr. Conti, that if you truly practice this every single day, just like you brush your teeth every single day, within a few months you can heal this pattern of negative self-talk and clean your brain, make it more positive. You know, in fact, it reminds me of our son, Oakley. He's gonna kill me for telling you this, but in elementary school, he literally barely b- brushed his teeth. I mean, we used to beg him. "Dude, you got to brush your teeth." And his older sisters, they would tease him about it because they were like, "Dude, your teeth are, like, yellow and disgusting." And then all of a sudden, it was like... (snaps fingers) I don't know if it was middle school or what. He just decided that it mattered to him to take care of his teeth. And all it took was a couple months of daily brushing, and all of a sudden he's got the brightest, cleanest, most beautiful choppers you've ever seen. Dr. Conti is here to say that your brain works the same way. You can clean it up. You can make it brighter and more positive. And it just goes to show you that every single one of these experts has told you, "Your brain can change." And when you change the way you talk to yourself, you clean up that self-talk, you literally open a door to an entirely new world, and I so want that for you. Well, Dr. Conti was far from done when we had him on the podcast, and there was

12. 40:30 – 44:40

    The reason we have these patterns of self sabotage.

    1. MRMel Robbins40:30

       something else that I really wanted you to hear. And it's all about, you know, why we have these patterns of self-sabotage. And I think you will find this metaphor that Dr. Conti and I discuss so helpful as you make it your mission to stop your negative self-talk too.

    2. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)40:51

       We can start feeling better, doing better, emboldening ourselves, just by doing small nice things for self, for ourselves and for other people. And it may sound trite, but it is not, right? To, to a, a, a good hand say if you're in that line at a coffee shop and somebody drops something, you know, to, to, to pick it up for them or to give them a smile, right? Or do something nicer for ourselves, because we often self-punish. "And if I don't feel bad about myself, I'll just walk that distance in the rain instead of putting an umbrella up." Like, we do a lot of these things to ourselves where we could just, in the moment, just be nicer to ourselves, more considerate to ourselves and to others, and that starts empowering and embolding- emboldening us to, to do that, to see there's enough good in me that I can give somebody a smile. I can give somebody a helping hand, or I can even be a little nicer to myself. And it may sound small or trite, but I promise that it is not, and it's often that that gets the ball rolling towards something maybe more difficult, like looking at something that I know is on my mind a lot but I've been scared to look at. So I think we can start in simple ways, simple goodness to self and others-

    3. MRMel Robbins41:57

       That example of putting an umbrella up was so poignant because I think of how many times I've had an umbrella and I've just been like, "No."It's okay.

    4. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:08

       Yeah.

    5. MRMel Robbins42:08

       I carry the umbrella, I walk a couple blocks, I pop my collar, I start-

    6. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:14

       Right.

    7. MRMel Robbins42:14

       ... to hunch down, and I take the drops.

    8. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:17

       Right.

    9. MRMel Robbins42:17

       And that moment where you stop and put up the umbrella-

    10. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:23

        Right.

    11. MRMel Robbins42:25

        ... it is important.

    12. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:27

        Yeah.

    13. MRMel Robbins42:27

        And I keep thinking about this visual of the raindrops being like the negative beatdown.

    14. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:35

        Yeah, I like that.

    15. MRMel Robbins42:35

        And the act of popping up the umbrella is a way to just have yourself not have to f- hear it.

    16. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:44

        Yeah. I really do love that because, you know, sometimes we'll say, "Oh, to hell with it," you know? Like, but like, the idea I get the umbrella out, but to hell with it, no, no, that's actually to hell with me.

    17. MRMel Robbins42:54

        Yeah.

    18. I(Internal dialogue / self-talk expert guest (psychologist)42:55

        Right? So we gotta stop and think, like well, if I'm thinking to hell with it, what am I really thinking? To hell with me, I'm not worth getting the umbrella out, right? And it's, it's, it's awareness, like that now I'm gonna stop and I'm gonna do that. I'm not gonna say, "To hell with it, to hell with me." I'm gonna, I'm gonna make some protection, makes it just even make a little bit more pleasantness or anything positive for myself and, and I, I love that way of then the umbrella is shielding us from, (laughs) you know, the negativity because we've had the wherewithal inside of ourselves to do something small but meaningful for ourselves. Yeah, I think that's, that's a powerful way to move that example forward. I like that.

    19. MRMel Robbins43:30

        I just love that. I want you to keep that image of an umbrella in your mind when you're training your brain to cheer you on rather than beating you down. I mean, it's so powerful and it's gonna help you stay curious, like Dr. Conti suggested, as you examine those thoughts so you can let them go. And when you change your self-talk, you will be a happier person. And on that topic, our next expert says that one of the most important things your brain can do for you is help you be happier. I mean, that is a superpower that is right in your brain that you are about to learn today, and that's why I'm so excited about this next expert. Shawn Achor is a friend, he's a New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Advantage and Big Potential. His Happiness Advantage training is one of the largest and most successful positive psychology training programs in the world, and he's here today to give you the most beautiful metaphor about happiness, and to let you know that there's always more happiness available to you, in fact, way more than you think.

13. 44:40 – 45:40

    The most effective way to think about happiness.

    1. MRMel Robbins44:40

       Here's Shawn Achor giving you a major reframe on how to think about happiness.

    2. SAShawn Achor44:47

       You know, we get so focused upon, you know, whether or not a glass is half full or half empty, right? And then we decide our happiness based upon that, right? Our optimism or pessimism. But I've always had this idea, like this picture in my head of, we're so focused on this glass being half full or half empty, but ignoring that there's a pitcher of water sitting right next to it that we could fill it up with.

    3. MRMel Robbins45:07

       Yeah.

    4. SAShawn Achor45:08

       Right?

    5. MRMel Robbins45:08

       Yeah.

    6. SAShawn Achor45:08

       And we're trying to determine whether or not, you know, our current life is where we want it to be, and I would say it, it isn't. And I think in many ways, we all have a, have a, a disordered life where we put the wrong things at the top or think the wrong things will create greater levels of happiness, and what we're finding is that when we do these habits and when we, um, care and let other people in, care for and let other people in, we're filling up that glass and that glass does not look like it did the day before.

    7. MRMel Robbins45:39

       Yeah.

14. 45:40 – 49:50

    Four habits that everyone should do for 21 days to increase happiness.

    1. MRMel Robbins45:40

       That's great. Okay, so what are the habits that you're teaching people around the world, Shawn?

    2. SAShawn Achor45:45

       We get people to write down each day for two minutes three new things that they're grateful for that have occurred over the past 24 hours. And we don't let them repeat for 21 days in a row. So that it's not what you're grateful for that matters, it's the scanning. We also got people to go on a 15-minute brisk walk four to five times a week, which we found is the equivalent of taking an antidepressant for the first six months for the next two years has a 30% lower relapse rate back to that depressed state. We find that if you take your hands off your keyboard for two minutes a day and just watch your breath go in and out, you're training your brain to do one thing at a time, and 21 days later, not only are your accuracy rates improving by 10%, the levels of happiness rise, stress levels drop, and the cortisol levels of the people that are around you change so your's... their stress levels are dropping as well. Um, so you're literally changing other people's biochemical patterns based upon your habits. And finally, we've got people to write a two-minute positive email each day praising or thanking one new person, a different person each day for 21 days in a row. So just thanking them for something or praising them for something, a weak tie or strong tie. But 21 days later, we find that it dramatically improves the greatest predictor of your long-term levels of happiness, which is your social connection score.

    3. MRMel Robbins46:55

       Boom. That's not just The Happiness Advantage, people. Those are the happiness actions and I'm telling you, based on the research, the man is right. You gotta do it. I always say, Shawn, this is not just a listening podcast. This is a fucking doing podcast. So, do those things for 21 days and I think you will be shocked at how the needle moves or as Shawn likes to say, you swing in a new direction. And Shawn, anything else that you want everyone to know?

    4. SAShawn Achor47:29

       Um, accept where you are right now, but realize that this is not the end of the story. So I believe that change is radically possible from our genes and environment when we change our mindset and change our behavior and we link in with other people as well.

    5. MRMel Robbins47:45

       I believe that incredible change is possible too. And what you're learning today is your brain is just waiting for you to give it a nudge in the right direction. It wants you to take care of it and feed it the right foods and help it learn new skills. That's what it's made for. And after our conversation today, you now have the tools to get started. I promised you that absolutely everything that you learned today would help you build a better, sharper, stronger, and happier brain. I truly hope that everything that you learned from these six extraordinary experts not only empowered you, but they've motivated you to put it to use in your own life because I see a bigger possibility for you. And the second you start taking better care of your brain, you'll see it too. And one more thing. In case no one else tells you, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your power to create a better life. And what you've learned today is that a better life begins with taking better care of your brain. And after everything that you've learned, you now know exactly what to do to do that. All righty. I'll talk to you in a few days. And for you on YouTube, I wanted to make sure to tell you, in case no one else tells you, that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your power to create a better life. And after what you've learned today, it's really clear that taking better care of your brain will create a better life. So I hope you not only use everything that you learned and you put it to use, but you share this with people that you love, okay? And if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to subscribe. It's how I know you enjoyed it. It also helps me bring you more videos and world-class experts like we did today. Takes just one second. Thanks for doing that. And I know you're thinking, "Oh my God, I loved it, I loved it, I loved it. I would love more." Great. Then I want you to check out this video where Dr. Amen is giving you his top three habits for optimizing your amazing brain. Check it out.

Episode duration: 49:51