Once You Learn THIS, You Will Never Be The Same (Life Lessons From 88 Year Old Frank Caprio)

1. 0:00 – 1:41

   Welcome

   1. JCJudge Frank Caprio0:00

      I'd rather go overboard with compassion than go overboard with punishment. (gavel bangs)

   2. MRMel Robbins0:05

      (instrumental music plays) The life lessons you're about to learn, they're gonna stay with you forever. Let me tell you about America's nicest judge, (camera shutters click) 88-year-old Frank Caprio. Judge Caprio had a show on public television for 25 years that was shot in his courtroom in Rhode Island. These are videos that make people smile, laugh, ugly cry, and believe in humanity again, all at the same time.

   3. JCJudge Frank Caprio0:28

      So I'm gonna ask you one question: Is your father guilty or not guilty? And without, uh, uh, hesitation, what do you say? Guilty. Guilty. (audience laughs) (gavel bangs)

   4. MRMel Robbins0:40

      But then something wild happened. Oh, exploded, syndicated on 200 stations, four Emmy nominations, 10 billion views worldwide, and he has 2.9 million followers on Instagram, 1.4 million (laughs) followers on TikTok, two million followers on Facebook, half a million subscribers, and over 100 million views on YouTube. But today, he's here for you and me.

   5. JCJudge Frank Caprio1:05

      My first day on the court set the tone of my judgeship of over 30 years. You can change the course of someone's life by placing your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you love them, that you believe in them.

   6. MRMel Robbins1:23

      Can you share what this journey of facing this cancer diagnosis has taught you?

   7. JCJudge Frank Caprio1:30

      Stay close to, to the people you love. (instrumental music plays) (clock ticks) (instrumental music plays)

2. 1:41 – 5:32

   What 40 Years on the Bench Taught America’s Kindest Judge

   1. MRMel Robbins1:41

      First of all, I gotta say, I am so excited, Judge Caprio, that you are here. It is an honor to meet you, Your Honor.

   2. JCJudge Frank Caprio1:51

      Hmm. Well, you have a pretty good reputation yourself.

   3. MRMel Robbins1:53

      (laughs) Well, that's a very, very kind thing to say, especially coming from somebody who's as respected as you are. Thank you.

   4. JCJudge Frank Caprio2:00

      Well, thank you.

   5. MRMel Robbins2:01

      You know, here's how I wanna start. Judge Caprio, you are 88 years old. (laughs) You have millions of followers on social media. So many of us were introduced to you because you were on television for 25 years and became known as America's nicest judge. What has 40 years on the bench and 88 years on this planet taught you about life?

   6. JCJudge Frank Caprio2:24

      Help other people. Lift other people, particularly the unfortunate, the disabled, those in need, the hungry, you know? It doesn't take much. Sometimes it's just a matter of being nice and putting your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you believe in them. And if there's anything I can ever do to help you, like, let me know, you know? It's not a heavy lift at all for, for us. For them, it's like lifting a mountain, you know? But just them, letting them know that you care. It's not always giving, it's just giving of yourself that I, I always make the reference of put your hand on someone's shoulder. Tell them you love them. Tell them you, you believe in them, particularly your children and close associates and people who are in despair, who are going through crisis. Just let them know that you care, that you care. It's, uh, so important.

   7. MRMel Robbins3:31

      You know, I love that about you. You, as a judge and as a human being, always take a person's story into consideration. And I think it's remarkable at the age of 88, you're a retired judge. You also are a bonafide social media phenomenon, and you are known as America's nicest judge. Why do you think it's important to be kind and nice to people?

   8. JCJudge Frank Caprio4:01

      Because people look up to the judiciary, sometimes in a way that's terrifying. You know? And unfortunately, it's not nice for me to say this, but unfortunately, some judges put a robe on, and they think it gives them the, uh, ability to take certain excesses that I don't appreciate or agree with, you know? Because I think that you have an obligation now. You have that robe on, you know, and you have all of this authority, you know? And I always place myself in the shoes of the person before me.

   9. MRMel Robbins4:36

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JCJudge Frank Caprio4:36

       You know? It's a working guy with four kids. It's a mother, you know? It's... And they tremble, even... It doesn't make any difference who they are. They're trembling. They're before a judge. They don't know what's gonna happen, you know? And when the judge is up there, you know, many judges, th- they take themselves seriously. You know, "Oh, oh, yeah, oh, I got the robe on, you know? I'm the boss here, and, uh..." It's, I mean (laughs) I n- I never subscribed to that theory. You know? I always thought that you could be understanding and compassionate. It's very simple. It's what I was taught at my house. I was raised that way with my, my parents. You know? My father was one of 10. My mother was one of eight. I had 18 aunts and uncles. One was more compassionate than the other, you know? So it's, it's all the, the basic unit of society is the family unit, and everything springs from

3. 5:32 – 20:29

   What Happens When You Lead With Empathy

   1. JCJudge Frank Caprio5:32

      that.

   2. MRMel Robbins5:33

      You know, one of the things that I also know about you is that you became famous and beloved for giving people second chances. And so here you are a judge, and you are usually working with people or you're presiding over cases where people have parking fines, traffic violations. But you always sought to understand what was going on with somebody. Why do you believe people deserve second chances, Judge?

   3. JCJudge Frank Caprio6:03

      Well, tell me who doesn't need a second chance in life. Tell... In other words, go through your life and think of all those times that you were given a break or a second chance. It's just, to be, you know... The words understanding and compassionate, you know, are not just words. They sound nice. You say, "Oh, he's wonderful, he's compassionate." What does that mean? You know? It's the exercise of being compassionate and understanding. And it's very simple, I just put myself in the shoes of the person before me. You know, I, I had a, uh... Not difficult, that's not the right word, but a very, uh, interesting bringing up. And I came from a poor family, and, well, we have stories about things that we couldn't have and places we went that people didn't think we belonged because we were poor and, and all of that. And my father was like a rock, you know? He, he said, "I'm a working man." And he'd wear his milkman uniform, you know, he didn't care, he'd wear it to a Christmas ball, you know? And I was brought up to always take other people into consideration.

   4. MRMel Robbins7:20

      So what did you learn from your dad by riding on the milk truck and going on the delivery route as your dad was...

   5. JCJudge Frank Caprio7:29

      I learned how to treat people by my father's example. You know, my, my father was a very understanding person. One simple example is, he was... He worked for a big company, and they had a standard rule that if someone did not pay their milk bill after two weeks, you stopped delivery. That was the company's policy. My father had his own policy. If they have children, he wasn't stopping the milk. He didn't care how far behind they were. And as a matter of fact, many times he'd put in... Back in those days, it was a lot of money, he'd put in a dollar or two towards their milk bill to tell his, his superiors they're making an effort to pay and they have children, and he, he, he stood them down. You know? So I le- I, I, I was... Now, there was a, a nice big sign on the truck, it says, "No riders." You wasn't supposed to be on the truck unless you worked for the company. Except my brother and I, my father would wake us up. (laughs)

   6. MRMel Robbins8:31

      (laughs) .

   7. JCJudge Frank Caprio8:31

      We were riders. You know? (laughs)

   8. MRMel Robbins8:33

      And carriers of the milk probably-

   9. JCJudge Frank Caprio8:35

      Right.

   10. MRMel Robbins8:35

       ... too, right?

   11. JCJudge Frank Caprio8:36

       Right, right.

   12. MRMel Robbins8:36

       You write in your remarkable book, Compassion in the Court, about one of the most impactful moments in your life. You were in sixth grade, you were about to graduate, and something happened. Could you tell us that story?

   13. JCJudge Frank Caprio8:51

       I'm not sure if they still do this but, when you l- when you left the sixth grade, you went to middle school, and it was a big deal, and we all had an autograph book, you know? And our friends would sign it, you know, "If you're thirsty and you're near a spring," you know, all of that.

   14. MRMel Robbins9:05

       All the funny stuff-

   15. JCJudge Frank Caprio9:06

       So, uh-

   16. MRMel Robbins9:06

       ... that kids write, right?

   17. JCJudge Frank Caprio9:08

       So my father came home from work one day, and he was tired and he had his milkman uniform on, and he was reading the newspaper, and I had my autograph book. I had... No, I had my mother sign the autograph book first. I said, "Mom, will you wanna sign the book?" She signed three pages, "Love, Mom." (laughs) You know, "I love you." So, so I asked my father, I said, "Dad, will you sign my book?" And he didn't... So he just reached for it, and he put it down and he just was staring at it for what seemed like a long time, probably a couple of minutes, trying to think of what he was gonna say, you know, to his 12-year-old son who's gonna go to middle school. "The street is wide, the road is long and very bumpy, and very tough going, but I know that you will proceed along it honorably with your head held high to the end of the highest learning." And then, the line that really got me here was, "From your dad, Antonio Caprio Jr." My father was born in Italy, you know, he came here with his parents, but he wanted to make sure that this document was accurate, so it wasn't just, "Your dad," you know, Antonio, "Antonio Caprio Jr." This is an official document with my legal name, and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart, is what he was saying to me.

   18. MRMel Robbins10:57

       What does it mean to you?

   19. JCJudge Frank Caprio10:58

       I still have that book. It's in the right-hand drawer of my desk. You know, where I keep it.

   20. MRMel Robbins11:05

       What do you think your dad was trying to say to you in that phrase?

   21. JCJudge Frank Caprio11:10

       My dad was trying to say to me, "Listen, we don't have the resources to, to give you material things in life. The road is tough going, it's very tough going, so you're gonna have to be a little bit tougher than the next person, and you're gonna have to study hard." And he constantly was saying, "You have to go to college. You have to go to college."

   22. MRMel Robbins11:31

       I'm reading to you from page 43. And you write, and you're reflecting on what your father said, "My father was not educated, but he had the soul of a poet. I have read that message a thousand times. His words touched me to this day, and I still find myself trying to make him proud and live up to his high expectations for me. To successfully navigate the wide street, and long and bumpy road, we all need a moral compass. I wasn't told how to be moral.""I learn by watching others, most importantly, the fine examples set by my mother and father." And they did set a really big example for you and your father kept saying, "Go to college," and so you did. Tell me about going to college and what happened next in your life.

   23. JCJudge Frank Caprio12:29

       My father was one of 10, and he was considered the smartest one of the family. He was right in the middle. And unfortunately, he couldn't go to college because of the financial pos- position, a family of 10 immigrating from Italy. They were, they were fruit peddlers with a pushcart. So my father's dream always was to go to college b- and it was not afforded to him, but he wanted to make sure that my brother and I both had an education. And he would wake us up at 4:00 in the morning and we'd go to work on the truck, and he would constantly say, "If you don't wanna do this, you gotta go to college." He go- he just drove that into us, and it worked-

   24. MRMel Robbins13:13

       (laughs)

   25. JCJudge Frank Caprio13:14

       ... because a lot of my friends, you know, after high school, you know, we had no money and they went out and got a job, and then they were able to buy a car, you know? And they, they had s- some material things that I didn't have, and it was a temptation to go o- not to go to college, to go out and get a job, but it was my father's dream that we do that, and he impressed it upon us so much that there was a... it was a no-brainer for me that I had to go.

   26. MRMel Robbins13:40

       Where did you go to college? And did you know-

   27. JCJudge Frank Caprio13:42

       Pro- Providence College.

   28. MRMel Robbins13:43

       You went to Providence College. Did you know you wanted to be a lawyer?

   29. JCJudge Frank Caprio13:47

       My father, when I was, I don't... I must've been 12 years old, we lived in what they called a cold water flat, which meant we didn't have heat, central heat. We had an old potbelly stove. And I recall it like it happened like five minutes ago, that my, my brother and myself, and it was freezing that day, and we were sitting... they k- kept the oven door open so we could get some heat. My father would talk about things in life and so forth, and he was saying to my brother, "This is what you're gonna do in life," and so forth. And he said to me, he says, "You're a good talker." These are his words, and th- I was 12 years old and I still remember them. He says, "You're a good talker. You're gonna be a lawyer someday." It was like an edict coming down from heaven. I never wanted to be or do anything else except be a lawyer. As a matter of fact, when I was in middle school, we had to write a career book in the eighth grade. My career book was on being a lawyer, you know, and when I went to school, my courses were all geared toward going into the legal profession. And it was just that one sentence that my father said to me, and if I remember it correctly, he put his hand on my shoulder, put his hand on my shoulder. You could've said, "You're gonna be president of the United States." "No, no, no, no, I'm gonna be a lawyer."

   30. MRMel Robbins15:19

       (laughs)
4. 20:29 – 24:15

   The Wake-Up Call That Defined Judge Caprio’s Career

   1. JCJudge Frank Caprio20:29

      job.

   2. MRMel Robbins20:29

      So, in your incredible book, chapter 19, you write about the first day as a judge.

   3. JCJudge Frank Caprio20:38

      Oh, yeah.

   4. MRMel Robbins20:39

      And what it taught you about compassion. Would you be able to tell us that story about what happened...

   5. JCJudge Frank Caprio20:45

      Hmm.

   6. MRMel Robbins20:45

      ... the first day you...

   7. JCJudge Frank Caprio20:47

      I'm on, I get elected as, now I'm, I'm a judge.

   8. MRMel Robbins20:51

      (laughs)

   9. JCJudge Frank Caprio20:51

      I got the robe, right, I'm gonna go, I- I'm the boss, I'm gonna sit on the bench, and this is it now, right? I have arrived. So I said to my father, I said, "Dad, you know, I'm, my first day on the bench." He said, "I'll come down and watch." I said, "Good. C- come down. I'd love, I'd love for you to come down." So I'm there and I'm, I'm, I am really full of myself, you know. I'm, I'm a judge now. Look at me, you know. You know. "All rise please." Everybody rises and so forth. (laughs) Oh, it's so crazy. So this woman comes before me. She owed, I don't know, she had a boot under her car. I don't know what she owed, couple hundred dollars in tickets and she couldn't pay them. So I said, "Well, if you don't pay it, I- I'm not gonna take the boot off the car." And she says, "I just don't have the money. I don't have the money and I have four kids." It's my first day on the bench. No one's gonna bully me around, right? So I says, "Well, you owe the money and if you don't we're gonna leave the boot on the car." She said, "I don't have the money. I have to get my kids to school." So I said, "I'm sorry, uh, uh, continue the case. We'll give you a couple of days to come in," right? And my father's in the courtroom. After the c- after court's over, my father comes into chambers. I said to the sheriff, "Have my father come in chambers." I'm so happy. I said, "Dad! How did it go?" He said, "How did it go? How did, how did, how could you do that?" "How could I do what?" He said, "That woman." I said, "She was disrespectful, you know." I said, "She wasn't respecting the court." I said, "I wasn't gonna take care of her." He said, "Frank, she had four kids. Now suppose she can't feed the kids tonight if she paid those tickets. She has, now she doesn't have a car. She can't drive them to school. What are you doing? You weren't brought up that way." My first day on the court set the tone of my judgeship of over 30 years. After that, I took everybody's personal situation into consideration in the imposition of a sentence, and I s- that case still bothers me. It still bothers me to this day when I think about it. To my, I say to myself, "How could you do that?" You know, with my upbringing and so forth. And I don't know why my first day as my case, this woman, she was, she was insulting to begin with, but you have to overcome that.

   10. MRMel Robbins23:17

       'Cause she was scared. And...

   11. JCJudge Frank Caprio23:19

       And she was scared to death, right.

   12. MRMel Robbins23:20

       Yes.

   13. JCJudge Frank Caprio23:20

       As my father said.

   14. MRMel Robbins23:21

       Well, I think she was a gift to you because you write in this book on page 110, "The lesson was that being a judge is much more about the person in front of you..."

   15. JCJudge Frank Caprio23:33

       Right.

   16. MRMel Robbins23:33

       "... than it is about the law. Since then, I've always tried to find out what was really going on with the person and I always considered how my ruling would impact not only them, but their whole family."

   17. JCJudge Frank Caprio23:47

       Right.

   18. MRMel Robbins23:48

       Like if you really think about that...

   19. JCJudge Frank Caprio23:50

       And I did that. That, those aren't only words. I did that.

   20. MRMel Robbins23:54

       Yes. Yes, you did. You did that for over 30 years.

   21. JCJudge Frank Caprio23:57

       Right.

   22. MRMel Robbins23:58

       And I think you needed that case with your father sitting there to be reminded of who you are. We all need those moments. You were just smart enough and wonderful enough to recognize what it was and to actually change, which is incredible.

5. 24:15 – 27:37

   Lessons of Kindness, Compassion and Redemption

   1. MRMel Robbins24:15

      You know, if somebody is listening to you, Judge, and they want to follow your advice...... of putting more kindness into the world, of being more compassionate towards other people. How can you practice that? Particularly in a moment of time where things seem overwhelming, the headlines are stressful, the economy's all over the place, or maybe you feel like, "Well, it's not gonna make a difference if I'm kind." What would you say to somebody?

   2. JCJudge Frank Caprio24:47

      Place yourself in their shoes. Imagine that you were sitting there 'cause it can happen to all of us. You know, tomorrow, we don't know what tomorrow's brings. We've had many very wealthy people who ended up p-penniless, you know, and so I always have subscribed to that. I always placed myself in the shoes of the person that was before me, and then try to exercise a modicum of-

   3. MRMel Robbins25:12

      Mm-hmm.

   4. JCJudge Frank Caprio25:13

      ... compassion and understanding. Sometimes I went overboard, but you know what? (laughs) I'd rather go overboard with compassion than go overboard with punishment.

   5. MRMel Robbins25:23

      When you step into somebody else's shoes, as a judge, you have seen people at their most vulnerable. You have seen them scared, you've seen them ashamed. What's something that you've learned from all of these interactions with people that really gives you hope about human beings and the world? Because you have been in this amazing role as a judge, you step into people's shoes, you consider their circumstances, you always take into account how this is gonna impact the family. What do you believe is true about the true nature of every human being that stands before you?

   6. JCJudge Frank Caprio26:07

      We're not in this world alone. We have to rely on other people for many necessities in life, for some of our needs. We have an obligation to use whatever resources we have, our own resources, to help others, to make society better because of our contributions. Th- those are the words we hear all the time, you know? "Dedicate yourself to a cause, give to charity, help people." Those, they sound good, but put them in practice. I mean, I've seen people, I mean, uh, for lack of a better term, who are frauds, who are preaching this but don't do it. People in public life, you know, they preach one thing and do another. My s- (laughs) my theory always was, you know, if you deserved an eight or a s- or you des- you deserved a six in sympathy, I gave you a 10, hoping that it would help you and that it would change your life.

   7. MRMel Robbins27:03

      You know, you mentioned that you really regret how you handled that first case. How do you deal with regret, the things that you wish you had done differently?

   8. JCJudge Frank Caprio27:12

      I, you, it's a lesson. Just I have, I, I never repeated it after that, and I was on the bench for 30 years after that. I never repeated it. I can't tell you how many times I was there and I, a knee-jerk reaction, I wanted to s- really bang somebody, and I says, "You know, I can't do that. They have kids at home. They probably won't be able to put food on the table tonight." You know, so, so all of those things.

6. 27:37 – 33:28

   The Act of Compassion That Went Viral

   1. JCJudge Frank Caprio27:37

   2. MRMel Robbins27:37

      You know, Judge, your show, Caught in Providence, went on public access TV in Rhode Island about 25 years ago, and it later went into syndication all over the world, and now you are online, you have millions of followers. These clips inspire people around the world. I'm talking billions of views.

   3. JCJudge Frank Caprio27:58

      Mm-hmm.

   4. MRMel Robbins27:58

      Why do you think your work and your approach to life and relationships is resonating with people?

   5. JCJudge Frank Caprio28:07

      Because it addresses decency, it addresses honor, it addresses all of those things that families are hoping for for themselves, and that's what it's all about. It addresses compassion and understanding. I don't just use those words. When I was on the bench, you know, I exercised them, you know? And it's very simple, just put yourself in the shoes of the person before you. How do you want them to treat you?

   6. MRMel Robbins28:34

      Mm-hmm. You have been just known, and people follow you, millions of people follow you because of the incredible advice that you give. What do you think the best advice is that you've given?

   7. JCJudge Frank Caprio28:50

      (laughs) Just be honorable.

   8. MRMel Robbins28:54

      What does that mean? 'Cause I think-

   9. JCJudge Frank Caprio28:55

      Just, just be com- (laughs)

   10. MRMel Robbins28:55

       ... in the world today a lot of people don't even think about honor.

   11. JCJudge Frank Caprio28:58

       When people came before me, I, I would implore them, "Just tell me the truth. Just tell me the truth. Be honorable about all of this," you know? And at, at the end of the day, it pays off. It does pay off. You know, I showed compassion to people. Some, some people came in, they had nightmarish stories. I mean, I had a woman come in, and she, uh, owed $500 in tickets and she didn't pay 'em, and she said she didn't have the money and that... She was shot in the leg. She had a bullet in her leg. What do you do in a case like that?

   12. MRMel Robbins29:37

       I would probably dismiss it so she can pay-

   13. JCJudge Frank Caprio29:39

       That's what I did.

   14. MRMel Robbins29:39

       ... her medical bills.

   15. JCJudge Frank Caprio29:40

       That's what I did.

   16. MRMel Robbins29:42

       You know, one of the things that I wanna read to you, um, from your best-selling book, Compassion in the Court, this is on page 116, and I'd love to hear you reflect on this because in being a big fan of yours, the way that you spoke to children in particular always struck me. "I often tell children that I'm expecting them to leave my courtroom and go on to do great things. The power in knowing someone expects greatness from you is immeasurable. I am certain that people feel inspired to do their best because along the way someone told them they believed in them. I'm certain that I became an attorney and, in time, a judge because my father and mother told me I could be one. Imagine if all of us did more acts of generosity and we told more people that we believed in them, how much better we could make the world."Talk to me a little bit about that.

   17. JCJudge Frank Caprio30:38

       I think that you can change the course of someone's life, right, in like, a minute by placing your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you love them, that you believe in them and that they will succeed. If you encourage people in the gentlest way, instead of yelling and screaming and berating them... And I've always made it a very special point when people came to court with children, hmm, to make, to concentrate on the children in a positive manner because as soon as they walk into the courtroom, they're terrified. A courtroom can be a very intimidating experience. You walk into a courtroom if you're 12 years old, I mean, you see a judge in a robe, you see a cop with a gun, you see an oak paneled courtroom, you see everybody sitting like this, you know? And, and particularly if the judge is, for a lack of a better term, a jerk, you know, and is insisting that everybody behave in a certain way. I never did that, you know? I always tried to treat people civilly, you know, and let them feel comfortable. But particularly when there were children in the courtroom, particularly when there was children in the courtroom, some of the best episodes are when there were children in the courtroom and I brought them up on the bench and had them help me determine their parents' case. And some of the answers just are amazing and, uh, they're humorous, but they're very revealing, you know? Uh, we had one in particular, there was a, a family that relocated from Africa and came to the United States. They had been here for six months, and they came to court, and I think there were two or three children, but one of the children was about 10 years old. Hmm, and I had him come up, you know, and they came from Africa and they were only here for six months, you know? And he's up on the bench and getting nervous, so forth. So I said, "I'm gonna ask you one question. Is your father guilty or not guilty?" And without, uh, hesitation, he said, "Guilty."

   18. MRMel Robbins32:46

       (laughs) Oh. Oh my Good- what did you, so what, was, it was just, was it like a speeding ticket or a parking ticket?

   19. JCJudge Frank Caprio32:51

       It was a speeding ticket.

   20. MRMel Robbins32:52

       Speeding ticket.

   21. JCJudge Frank Caprio32:52

       Yeah. He said, "Guilty," and, um, I mean, it just broke the house up and... I always think of that and kids are so honest.

   22. MRMel Robbins33:05

       How, what did you do in that case?

   23. JCJudge Frank Caprio33:07

       I dismissed the case.

   24. MRMel Robbins33:08

       And why did you dismiss the case?

   25. JCJudge Frank Caprio33:10

       Because he had four children, he came from Africa, he was just getting started to earn a living here, and so in consideration of his family commitments and the fact that he was very respectful, uh, I took that into consideration.

7. 33:28 – 34:43

   Judge Caprio’s Keys to a Good Life

   1. MRMel Robbins33:28

      So you and your wife, Joyce, have been married for over 60 years. What advice do you have to somebody who may be listening who is just at the beginning of their relationship?

   2. JCJudge Frank Caprio33:41

      Well, it's a give and take situation. You know, there's no such, no such thing as a boss in the marriage.

   3. MRMel Robbins33:46

      So you can't be the judge when you come home? Is that what you're saying? (laughs)

   4. JCJudge Frank Caprio33:50

      Uh, no, I can't, I can't (laughs) I, uh, I behave myself. (laughs)

   5. MRMel Robbins33:55

      (laughs) Joyce is watching, so be careful. (laughs)

   6. JCJudge Frank Caprio33:58

      No, we have a, a, we have five children, and she's the best mother in the world. Uh, and we had, we have a, we have a great relationship, you know? We've had our issues on minor things, you know, and we don't talk for a day, maybe a day and a half, and that's it.

   7. MRMel Robbins34:20

      (laughs)

   8. JCJudge Frank Caprio34:20

      You know? But, uh, she knows me pretty well by now and I know her pretty well and we don't have those skirmishes anymore.

   9. MRMel Robbins34:28

      Well, I would imagine you're both pretty kind to each other.

   10. JCJudge Frank Caprio34:33

       Whatever she wants, she gets.

   11. MRMel Robbins34:34

       Well, there you go. You just said the secret to a marriage, Judge.

   12. JCJudge Frank Caprio34:37

       (laughs)

   13. MRMel Robbins34:38

       "Whatever my wife wants, we're good." That's how you keep peace in the house.

8. 34:43 – 37:21

   Strength in the Face of Cancer

   1. MRMel Robbins34:43

      So, Judge, you recently had a life-altering diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. Can you share what this journey of facing this cancer diagnosis has taught you?

   2. JCJudge Frank Caprio35:00

      Well, it's, um... it teaches you a lot. It teaches you to stay close to, to the people you love. It drives you to prayer. You test your religion. You, uh, examine your life and see where you went wrong, try to make amends, uh, and try to set an example of strength for those that are around you. For someone that was, um, pretty healthy entire life to all of a sudden get a, uh, it's the death sentence. You know, p- pancreatic cancer is not curable, so it's a question of how long you can live with it, and I haven't given up the battle. I've, uh, I'm fortunate, treated by two very well known and, uh, proficient medical teams at the, uh, Dana-Farber Institute and the Miami, um, Institute so... 'Cause I, I spent winter down in Miami, so I'm very fortunate to have excellent medical treatment.... but it's, uh, it's a natural tendency to, uh, when you're younger, think of, you know, "How long am I gonna live? And how am I gonna die? Am I gonna die in a car accident? Uh, what's gonna happen?" So I know how I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die of m- I'm gonna die of cancer and gonna try to stay around for as long as possible. I'm very fortunate in that I feel well.

   3. MRMel Robbins37:05

      Mm.

   4. JCJudge Frank Caprio37:07

      And, uh-

   5. MRMel Robbins37:08

      You look great.

   6. JCJudge Frank Caprio37:09

      Well, I feel well. I'm not giving up. There's one thing I never did in life, was give up. And I'm certainly, uh, not giving

9. 37:21 – 44:58

   The Final Verdict: What Matters Most

   1. JCJudge Frank Caprio37:21

      up now.

   2. MRMel Robbins37:23

      If the person who's listening is going through something very difficult like you are, or it's somebody that they love is, they have a scary diagnosis, they're really struggling, what would you say to them, Judge?

   3. JCJudge Frank Caprio37:36

      Uh, you really have no choice, listen to your medical, uh, providers. Those... I mean, everyone wants to be their own doctor. I t- I do what the doctors tell me to do. And I tell them to be honest with me. You know, "How, how much, how long do I have to live? What is my prescribed, uh, uh, course of treatment?" And... but rely on expert medical advice is the only advice that I can give them.

   4. MRMel Robbins38:08

      Now, as you approach your 90s-

   5. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:10

      I beg, beg your pardon?

   6. MRMel Robbins38:11

      You're approaching your 90s.

   7. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:12

      Well, listen, I, I mean-

   8. MRMel Robbins38:13

      (laughs)

   9. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:14

      ... I'm, I'm, I'm approaching my mid-80s, I mean, you know.

   10. MRMel Robbins38:17

       (laughs) What, what are you looking forward to?

   11. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:23

       I'm looking f- to keep my family intact. I'm very lucky. We have a very close-knit family.

   12. MRMel Robbins38:32

       I can tell. Two of your sons are here. They're making sure that you don't, like, screw up, that's why they're here, I can tell they're here ma- like, watching you.

   13. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:39

       Oh, I need, I need them 'cause I do...

   14. MRMel Robbins38:42

       (laughs)

   15. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:42

       I'm very incorrigible so they have to keep me in line.

   16. MRMel Robbins38:44

       (laughs) What do you think makes for a good life?

   17. JCJudge Frank Caprio38:50

       A good life is... Excuse me. A good life is being a good family man, a good family person, and having good friends.

   18. MRMel Robbins39:04

       Mm.

   19. JCJudge Frank Caprio39:04

       That's all there is to life. Y- you know, um, everyone who thinks that they're better than someone else or because of their wealth that they have special privileges, no. We- we're all in the same boat here together.

   20. MRMel Robbins39:20

       So what are your plans for the future? What do you still wanna do? What do you wanna see? What do you wanna experience, Judge?

   21. JCJudge Frank Caprio39:28

       Well, I, I enjoy traveling.

   22. MRMel Robbins39:31

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JCJudge Frank Caprio39:32

       Uh, I've been very lucky to travel to Europe, you know, to my f- my father's village where he was born, actually. He was born... I went to where my dad was born, it was a dirt floor. It's still there. (laughs) It's still a dirt floor, you know? And I was able to go to the Middle East, eh. And so I enjoy traveling and, as trite as it sounds, I know it sounds... I enjoy, I derive great pleasure out of helping people.

   24. MRMel Robbins40:06

       I don't think that sounds trite at all. In fact, I think that's the secret to a good life is being kind, being encouraging, and helping people.

   25. JCJudge Frank Caprio40:15

       Being in the service to others is what ma- gives you a happy life.

   26. MRMel Robbins40:20

       For the person who's listening right now who is like you and maybe tired, or retired, or a little older, what words of encouragement would you give them about what's possible for the rest of their life?

   27. JCJudge Frank Caprio40:34

       I think they should become active in some civic duties. You know? Volunteer at the ho- home for the elderly, you know, help people, drive people, but be of service to others as much as you can.

   28. MRMel Robbins40:52

       And what do you think your father would say about who you've become?

   29. JCJudge Frank Caprio41:00

       Well, he'd put his hand on... (laughs)

   30. NANarrator41:04

       (laughs)
10. 44:58 – 47:08

    Your Reminder to Choose Compassion

    1. JCJudge Frank Caprio44:58

    2. MRMel Robbins44:58

       So if the person listening, Judge, takes just one thing from everything that you've shared, what do you think the most important thing to do would be to make your life better?

    3. JCJudge Frank Caprio45:13

       My parting words are that we are not in this world alone, that we have to rely on each other, and that we should show understanding and compassion toward others and help them in their time of need.

    4. MRMel Robbins45:26

       Judge Caprio, it is an honor to be with you. I am so glad that you are here, that we are getting to be inspired by your life, by the way that you move through life. It has been an honor to sit with you, to be inspired by you, and I wanted to be sure to tell you, I love you.

    5. JCJudge Frank Caprio45:46

       I'm, uh, I'm very appreciative of the opportunity. Thank you so much.

    6. MRMel Robbins45:49

       You're welcome. And I appreciate you. I appreciate you for taking the time to listen and to learn and to spend time with somebody as remarkable as Judge Caprio. And in case nobody else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And one of the things that I'm taking away from this one is the power of kindness and the fact that purpose is not what you do, it's how you do it. And I think in this moment, how we do it and how we treat other people is absolutely everything. I cannot wait to hear what you get out of this. I can't wait to hear what the people you share this episode with get out of this. And I also will be waiting for you to welcome you into the very next episode the moment you hit Play. I'll see you there. (instrumental music) And for you sitting here watching with me on YouTube, I just wanna say please share this with somebody. Don't just sit and watch, please do something. And take a minute and subscribe to this channel because it's really a way that you can support me in bringing you new videos every single day. And I'm sure you're looking for something really inspiring to watch, to really move you, so I want you to check out this video next.

Episode duration: 47:09