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Reinvent Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Create a New Version of You With Charlamagne tha God

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — In this episode, you’ll learn how to let go of regret, overcome regret, let go of past mistakes, and step into a powerful new chapter. Today, Mel is joined by one of the most powerful and honest voices of our time: Charlamagne tha God. He’s a Radio Hall of Famer, a three-time New York Times bestselling author, an Emmy-winning producer, and co-host of The Breakfast Club, one of the biggest radio shows in the world, among many accolades. But none of that is why this episode matters. This is a raw, inspiring, and deeply personal conversation about redemption, reinvention, letting go of mistakes, and becoming a better version of yourself. Charlamagne opens up about childhood trauma, addiction and the moment he finally chose to change his life. He shares how he became a better father, how he broke toxic cycles, and why grace is the key to growth. You’ll learn: – How one simple decision can set you free – How to stop punishing yourself for who you used to be – A simple practice to help you find peace, even when life feels heavy By the end of this episode, you’ll know that no matter where you come from or what you’ve done, you can reinvent yourself. You can change yourself. Starting today. Note: this episode includes open conversation around mental health, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please take care while listening. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-278. Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Welcome 7:20 Charlamagne's Turning Point: Choosing a Different Life Path 18:11 Evolving From Past Versions of Yourself 22:51 How Unprocessed Trauma Impacts the Way You Treat Others 34:39 Learning From the Past Without Judging Yourself 42:16 Finding Mental Clarity Through Grounding and Gratitude 55:26 Cutting the Small Talk and Speaking With Purpose 1:02:19 How Being a Parent Changed Charlamagne 1:09:56 Breaking the Cycle of Trauma — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Charlamagne tha GodguestMel Robbinshost
Apr 7, 20251h 23mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 7:20

    Welcome

    1. CG

      (instrumental music plays) I want people to hear this conversation today and immediately walk away and say, "You know what? I need to go be of service." I always say my dad raised me out of fear and not love.

    2. MR

      What does that mean?

    3. CG

      You know, he didn't want me to make a... make the same choices that he made. And he would always tell me that if I didn't change my lifestyle, especially when I started, you know, really getting in trouble in the street, that I was gonna end up in jail, dead, or broke sitting under a tree. I worked at Taco Bell. I worked at a clothing store in the mall called Demo. I did telemarketing. I was the guy that would call your house and try to sell you 20 CDs for a penny just to avoid being in the street. You gotta love every version of yourself. Like, you know, every-

    4. MR

      How the hell do you do that? 'Cause every single one of us can look back at a moment in time.

    5. CG

      Yes.

    6. MR

      And just, you just cringe. You wanna erase that person. We beat ourselves up over it.

    7. CG

      Yes.

    8. MR

      How the hell did you get to a point where you could love every version of yourself?

    9. CG

      You gotta give yourself grace because you just did not know what it is that you know now. So, why would you ever beat yourself up for what you did not know?

    10. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    11. CG

      There's no redo on this thing called life. Like, this day that you're living right now, you're never getting back. So you're going to have to start making changes in your life right now to get to where it is that you need to be. (clock ticks)

    12. MR

      Hey, it's your friend Mel. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am ecstatic that you are here with me right now. You know, it's always such an honor to spend time with you and to be together. But today, today, you are in for something truly special. And if you're a new listener, I also just wanna take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I am so thrilled that you're here. And because you made the time to listen to this particular episode, here's what I know about you. I know that you're the type of person who not only values your time, but you also want to use the time that you have in this life to create a life that is driven by purpose. And if you're listening to this conversation today because somebody sent this episode to you, that is so cool because you have people in your life that care about you. And they not only care about you, they see a bigger possibility for your life, which is why they recommended that you listen to this episode. So, thank you for trusting them because it shows that you see bigger possibilities for your life too. And so does the person that you're about to meet, Charlamagne Tha God. Charlamagne hopped on a plane this morning after co-hosting one of the biggest radio shows on the planet. It's called the Breakfast Club. And just to understand how influential his perspective and his voice is, four million people listen every single week to the Breakfast Club. To put this, like, in a visual sense, four million people, that's 50 Super Bowl stadiums where every single seat is full and everyone is tuned in listening every single week. And that's just the people listening to the radio. There's another six million more people that follow the show on YouTube. And that's not all that Charlamagne does. He's been inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. He's a three-time New York Times best-selling author, an Emmy award-winning executive producer. He's also the co-founder of the Black Affect Podcast Network, one of the most successful podcast networks in the world, where he has produced 47 shows that have won all the biggest awards that are available to shows in podcasting. He's also the founder of a publishing imprint, Black Privilege Publishing, in partnership with Simon & Schuster, which has released 12 books and already released bestsellers, including his latest, Get Honest or Die Lying. He's hosted several award-winning television programs, and he is also the founder of the Mental Wealth Alliance, which focuses on advocating for mental health. And to top it all off, he's also an ambassador for the Food Bank in New York City. But his life wasn't always this way. And you're about to hear the extraordinary story, the twists, the turns, the lessons learned, the regrets, and the mistakes that he's made. And look, you can always learn from your own mistakes. But today, you have the honor of getting to learn from his. So, Charlamagne, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so thrilled that you are here.

    13. CG

      Thank you for having me, Mel.

    14. MR

      I am a huge fan of yours.

    15. CG

      I appreciate that. I... And, and the feeling is definitely mutual.

    16. MR

      Oh.

    17. CG

      You know, I brought my, uh, my, my, my Let 'Em Theory book in here, and it's so funny. Last week, my wife comes to me, and my wife goes, "I ordered you a book. You need to read it immediately 'cause I've been complaining about some things," right? Just c- re- really, I was complaining about people.

    18. MR

      Yup.

    19. CG

      And she was like, "You need to read this book immediately." And it came, and it was the Let 'Em Theory. And I was like, "Oh, yeah, I'm doing Mel's podcast on Wednesday." And she was like, "Really?" And then today she sent me, uh, tickets 'cause you're gonna be in New York at Beacon Theater. (laughs)

    20. MR

      Yes, yes, yes.

    21. CG

      She's like, "I wanna go to this."

    22. MR

      Yes, well, you are my guest.

    23. CG

      So, that's just all God. I was like, "Wow, I'm, I'm literally doing her show on Wednesday."

    24. MR

      Well, we are-

    25. CG

      Yeah.

    26. MR

      ... destined to be together today-

    27. CG

      Absolutely.

    28. MR

      ... together. And I'm gonna come see you in April, uh, on your show. And so-

    29. CG

      Yup.

    30. MR

      ... this is the beginning of a lot of amazing things that we're gonna do. And here's how I'd like to start. Could you tell the person who is listening right now, that's spending time together with us, what they might expect to be different about their life or the life of somebody that they care about? Based on everything that you're about to share with us today about your life, lessons learned, the incredible things that you sell and your best... you talk about in your best-selling books-

  2. 7:20 – 18:11

    Charlamagne's Turning Point: Choosing a Different Life Path

    1. MR

      even though you are one of the most influential voices in the world today, but the person who's listening may be meeting you for the first time. So what would you like them to know about you?

    2. CG

      Yeah, I mean, you know, right now, I'm a multimedia personality from, you know, radio to television, the books to podcasts, like you said, but I come from extreme humble beginnings. Mounts Corner, South Carolina, raised on a dirt road, grew up in a single-wide trailer. You know, uh, Mom was a school teacher, an English teacher, who kept the book in my face. My dad, you know, did construction, but, you know, he had his own issues with mental health, and, you know, the run-ins with the law, and, you know, drug addiction and substance abuse. But, you know, the one thing that we always had was love, and they always, especially my dad... I- I always say my dad raised me out of fear and not love. And I-

    3. MR

      What does that mean?

    4. CG

      He didn't want me to end up making the same mistakes that he made.

    5. MR

      Hmm.

    6. CG

      You know, he didn't want me to make up... make the same choices that he made. And he would always tell me that if I didn't change my lifestyle, especially when I started, you know, really getting in trouble in the street, that I was gonna end up in jail, dead, or broke sitting under a tree. So that was literally his mentality. He didn't want his oldest son to end up in jail, dead, or broke sitting under a tree. So he really used to be on me, but he would discipline me for things he didn't necessarily teach me.

    7. MR

      Hmm.

    8. CG

      And I-

    9. MR

      What does that mean?

    10. CG

      I remember being, uh, I remember being in therapy. The first real breakthrough I had in therapy is- is- is- is realizing that... Like, I'll give you an example, right? Like, I remember one time, um, I had just got my license. And so I'm- I'm- h- I'm following him. He was like, "Yo, follow me as I'm driving in the car. Just follow me, all right?" So I'm following him. Mind you, I'm a 16-year-old kid.

    11. MR

      (laughs)

    12. CG

      I'm following him. He's driving. So he's driving down, uh, Gilyard Road in Mounts Corner, South Carolina. I'm following him. When you're driving down Gilyard Road, you veer off into a highway called Highway 52. So there's a stop sign. He doesn't stop at the stop sign. He just goes through on the highway. So what do you think I do? I just go through on the highway. So then he pulls over. So I pull over behind him. He gets out the car, roll the window down. He smacks the shit out of me, tells me to pay attention. I didn't see that sto- see that stop sign? And I'm like, "You didn't see the stop sign?" I didn't say that to him-

    13. MR

      (laughs) Of course not.

    14. CG

      ... because I'm like, "You- you didn't see the stop sign?"

    15. MR

      You're gonna get hit again?

    16. CG

      But- but that- but- but that's my point. He would discipline me-

    17. MR

      Got it.

    18. CG

      ... for things that he never, he never taught me.

    19. MR

      Gotcha.

    20. CG

      And, um, so yeah, uh, he- he- he raised me very hard, and I always said it was out of fear and not love, just it was the fear that I would end up, you know, making a lot of the same mistakes that he made.

    21. MR

      So you-

    22. CG

      But- but one... But I will say, one thing you do-

    23. MR

      Please.

    24. CG

      ... got to learn about your kids is that your kids are gonna live their life regardless. No matter how much you try to hold on to them, no matter how, you know, much you try to discipline them, they're going to still live their life regardless. And guess what? You gotta let them. (laughs)

    25. MR

      (laughs)

    26. CG

      You gotta let them.

    27. MR

      Well played.

    28. CG

      That's right.

    29. MR

      Well played. Talk to me about the name Charlamagne Tha God.

    30. CG

      Yeah. When I was in night school, um, 'cause I got kicked out of two high schools, so I was in night school.

  3. 18:11 – 22:51

    Evolving From Past Versions of Yourself

    1. MR

      I want to highlight something-

    2. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    3. MR

      ... because I believe that the only thing that it takes to turn your life around is the decision...... that the way you're doing life isn't working anymore.

    4. CG

      That's right.

    5. MR

      And that's what you just described. And I think so many people, I've come to believe, and I, I'd be curious to hear what you think about this. I've bec- I've come to believe that the single biggest obstacle that actually stands in people's way, and yes, there are big factors around poverty and money and racism and bias and all this stuff. But the biggest obstacle is actually discouragement and despair. The sense that there's nothing you can do.

    6. CG

      That's right.

    7. MR

      And I love your story and I love what you stand for because you, uh, time and time and time again have made a decision, "How I'm doing things no longer works for me and I don't give a shit what other people are gonna think about it. I'm gonna figure this out. And I don't even have to know how I'm gonna change my life or what it's gonna look like. I just know I'm not doing it like this-"

    8. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    9. MR

      "... anymore." And so you make the decision, you work a bazillion jobs. How the heck do you get into radio? Because I think the other thing that happens for people, and it's probably, the, I, I can feel so many people sending this episode to their adult kids.

    10. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    11. MR

      "Listen to this man."

    12. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    13. MR

      How did you go from no experience, a bazillion odd jobs, having, you know, been arrested to actually making a break in radio and in the business?

    14. CG

      You, you s- you s- you said a lot of things that, you know, just make me really think about the, that, that journey, right? Like, you used the word just now, you said dis- discouragement, right?

    15. MR

      Uh-huh.

    16. CG

      I had a lot of encouragement early on.

    17. MR

      Yeah.

    18. CG

      Even though my dad wasn't always doing the right things and even though he was hard on me, he was always encouraging me to do the right thing. Same thing with my mom, she was an English teacher, always encouraging me to do the right thing. So even when I was, you know, getting in trouble, I knew that what I was doing wasn't what I was supposed to be doing. So to answer the question, the positive energy that activates constant elevation. I used to want to rap like most people who come from communities like I come from. When you Black and, you know, you, you growing up in a certain environment, the people you see who look like you are usually in entertainment or athletics.

    19. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    20. CG

      I'm only 5'6".

    21. MR

      (laughs)

    22. CG

      So there wasn't gonna be no NBA for me, right? But as far as-

    23. MR

      You could be a jockey.

    24. CG

      Maybe.

    25. MR

      (laughs)

    26. CG

      But, but ... ) And then I was always, my grades was always so bad, I could never play football.

    27. MR

      Yeah.

    28. CG

      And so for me, I always wanted to rap 'cause I used to always love storytelling. Always loved storytelling. You know, my mom, like I said, my mom was an English teacher. I grew up on the Book-It program, reading four books a week, you know, to get a free pizza. You know, my, my mom would always tell me to read things that don't, uh, necessarily pertain to me. So I grew up reading Mad Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary. So I was always in love with storytelling.

    29. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    30. CG

      So I'm in a recording studio, right? Because if you want to be a rapper, you gotta be where people are rapping. So I was in this recording studio, um, uh, two of them actually. One of them was called TNT Studios and the other was called Neva Sow Deep Records. And, well, the guy who owned Neva Sow Deep Records is a great mentor to me to this day named Dr. Robert Evans. But at the studio, I met a radio personality named Willie Will. And he worked at Z93 Jamz in Charleston, South Carolina. And I'm a curious person. If I see you doing something positive or doing something that looks cool, I, I'm gonna ask you. And I just asked him, like, "Yo, how did you get into radio?" And he said, "I got an internship." And I said, "What do I gotta do to get in- get an internship?" He said, "Go down to the radio station and ask for an internship."

  4. 22:51 – 34:39

    How Unprocessed Trauma Impacts the Way You Treat Others

    1. MR

      because we were kind of, like, talking about this theme of the power of making one decision. Like, "My life is not working the way that I want it to work. It doesn't feel the way I want it to feel." And you had this second huge epiphany because you had become known as, like, this shock jock.

    2. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    3. MR

      And you were, like, saying all kinds of crazy stuff about people and that was kind of the way that people knew you. And you had this epiphany that this is not who you want to be anymore. And so I want to read to you, this is from page 245 of your, uh, best-selling book, Shook One. "For many years, I was edgy and risky with my words on my mic. I pushed the envelope on topics like sex. People would listen to me and say, 'Man, Charlamagne is wild.' There's a reason Rolling Stone called me the hip-hop Howard Stern. Today, I have a much different mind state. While I'm always going to be authentic with my life's experiences, I'm embarrassed by things that I've said in the past. There are moments when I just want it all wiped from the internet. I cringe thinking about my daughter watching some of my old clips, but I can't surrender to those fears. I've come to accept that I can't be a prisoner of my past because the truth is, largely with the help of therapy, I've evolved a great deal over the past few years. I'm not the same thoughtless instigator I used to be." I'd love to have you share about the decision to make a huge risk in your career because you gained so much fame and influence by going about things a certain way-

    4. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    5. MR

      ... and then you made a decision, "I don't want to do this anymore."

    6. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    7. MR

      What happened and how have you changed?

    8. CG

      Same way that when I was sitting in Moncks Corner, South Carolina-And, you know, my father would tell me if I don't change my lifestyle, I'm gonna end up in jail, dead or broke, sitting under the tree and, you know, watching, you know, people who I, I loved, you know, who made poor choices, end up in those circumstances. It's the same thing now. It's like, you know, I lo- I love hip-hop, you know? I love being a hip-hop radio personality, but a lot of the hip-hop radio personalities that I grew up admiring, there was a glass ceiling and they didn't realize it.

    9. MR

      Mm-hmm. Oh.

    10. CG

      And so they thought that they was growing, but they kept hitting their head, kept hitting their head, kept hitting their head. And I'm looking at them now and I'm like, "Yo. These people are washed." Like, I don't want that to be, you know, my life in the future. And that was from a professional level. And just from a personal level, it's like, yo. They're... My daughters know their daddy. They know their daddy is silly. They know their daddy is a very unserious person. But there's just some things that, you know, I don't wanna have to explain-

    11. MR

      (laughs)

    12. CG

      ... because when I said these things, I was on drugs. I was drunk. Like, it was... I was wilding. Like, I wasn't in the right mind space.

    13. MR

      Right.

    14. CG

      But, you know, what I have learned, Mel, is that you gotta love every version of yourself. Like, you know, every-

    15. MR

      How the hell do you do that? I mean, come on now.

    16. CG

      You, you, you have to.

    17. MR

      'Cause it, we, you, if you... But how do you do... 'Cause there... 'Cause every single one of us, the person that is listening right now, can look back at a moment in time.

    18. CG

      Yes.

    19. MR

      And just, you just cringe. You wanna erase that person. You, you just, uh, we beat ourselves up over it.

    20. CG

      Yes.

    21. MR

      How the hell did you get to a point where you could love every version of yourself?

    22. CG

      Because I'm 46 years old this year. I was born in 1978, so I'll be 47, right? I'll be 47 this year. I know 20-year-old me did not know what 46-year-old me knows. I know 15-year-old me didn't know what 30-year-old me knew. So it's just like, yo. I... You gotta give yourself grace because you just did not know what it is that you know now. So why would you ever beat yourself up for what you did not know?

    23. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    24. CG

      And like I said earlier, uh, to me, life is just a process. I don't believe in good or bad. I just believe in everything is just one long process and there's things that happen for you along the way. Not to you. There's things that happen for you along the way. And I accept it all. I accept the good with the bad. And, you know, one thing, one of my, one of my, one of my therapists said to me is that, um, you know, you can't have any of your success without having any of your problems, right? So any problems that I had, you know, growing up, any problems that I had when I was young, that all led me to this point where I'm at now! And I go back and I think in my mind, I go hug the eight-year-old version of myself. I hug the 16-year-old version of myself. I hug the 20-year-old version of myself. I have conversations with those other versions of myself all the time, just to-

    25. MR

      You do? Like, get... Like, tell me what's the... Or like, how do you do that?

    26. CG

      Can you believe we got... Can you believe we're here?

    27. MR

      Oh, yeah.

    28. CG

      Can you believe we got here? Yo, man. I'm glad when... I'm glad 25-year-old you decided to go this way. I'm glad 19-year-old you decided to get into radio. I'm glad, you know, you read all of those books when you... Your eight-year-old you, nine-year-old you, 10-year-old you read all of those books when you was younger. Like, you know, I know you and your pops had some issues, man. But he did give you The Autobiography of Malcolm X when you was very, very young and it taught you all about growth and evolution. And, you know, knowing that somebody like Malcolm Little can become this great individual like Malcolm X and introduce you to, you know, the Nation of Islam, where they took the worst of us and made them the best of us. So, you know, you gotta give every single version of yourself grace. Like, Marty McFly didn't go back into the future, uh, go back to the past and curse his parents out. He tried to help his parents! Help his parents get on the correct path. We have to do the same thing, you know, with ourselves. You gotta give every version of yourself that ever existed grace.

    29. MR

      One of the most beautiful things that you have said so far, and you've said a lot of things that are very beautiful and empowering and important, but I really wanna make sure that the person listening takes this and applies it. You, you literally just said, "You gotta give yourself grace."

    30. CG

      Mm-hmm.

  5. 34:39 – 42:16

    Learning From the Past Without Judging Yourself

    1. CG

    2. MR

      You know, in your mega bestseller, Get Honest or Die Lying, you actually say, "I've been called a fake mental health advocate," or, "Critics will say that I use discussions of mental health as a shield to distract folks from all the wild shit I used to say and talk about on the radio way back when. So for the record, I started to work on my mental health because I knew that if I didn't deal with my trauma, my trauma would ultimately deal with me." I love that last sentence: "If I didn't deal with my trauma, my trauma would ultimately deal with me." What does that mean? I think a lot of people don't understand-

    3. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    4. MR

      ... what trauma is and how widespread it is-

    5. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    6. MR

      ... in people's lived experiences.

    7. CG

      Trauma is, uh, you know, things, things that have happened... Well, uh, to me, things that have happened to you, and when those things happen to you, you just let it fester. You don't actually try to get any healing for it.

    8. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    9. CG

      And what we don't realize is trauma hurts you, and hurt people hurt people, right? So it's just, like, you know, when you are dealing with your... When you go out there and you deal with your actual issues, you start projecting that level of healing onto people. You can only meet people where they are, so if you meet me when I'm a hurt person, you know, who's upset because I got, you know, molested when I was eight, or upset because, you know, of how my father used to discipline me, like, or upset because I got beat up when I was 18 years old, 19 years old for running my mouth too much, which I deserved, by the way. But still, it's like you project that onto other people, and what you also realize when you get older is that 99.9% of everything you're dealing with as an adult is a direct reflection or connection to something that happened to you as a child.It's like I'm literally just talking to my inner child every day telling him to calm down. "Calm down. We know why that is causing you to act that way."

    10. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    11. CG

      And so, like, you gotta go deal with your trauma 'cause if not, I've seen, I've seen a lot of people self-sabotage. I've seen a lot of people self-destruct, turn to drugs, turn to alcohol, or they're just mean, nasty, rude people. And, you know, that might be kinda worse than the drugs and alcohol 'cause then, you know, people leave you on a island unto yourself.

    12. MR

      You know, you write about that, too. You write in your book, Get Honest or Die Lying, "When I see folks who are willing to say anything and attack anyone for attention, I just shake my head because I remember that feeling."

    13. CG

      Absolutely.

    14. MR

      "I know that behavior is eating them alive on the inside."

    15. CG

      Absolutely.

    16. MR

      Can you talk a little bit about that? Because I think it is so incredible that you have gotten to the point where you can actually see that kind of behavior in other people with grace and kinda understand what it is. What, what, what are you talking about in that section of the book?

    17. CG

      It, it goes right back to what I just said, hurt people hurt people. I can listen to, I can listen to people say certain things and I'm like, "Oh, that person's miserable." Because you would never say that about somebody else if you weren't miserable. I mean, you know, I used to always say, oh, uh, Michelle Obama say, "When they go low, we go high," but sometimes you gotta take it, take it to hell with 'em, right?

    18. MR

      (laughs) Exactly. (laughs)

    19. CG

      But (laughs) but, but, but sometimes if you're willing to take it all the way to hell, what does that say about you? I'll, I'll tell you something that I, I, I, I'm saying this and I haven't shared this with anybody, you know. Um, I, I came up under Wendy Williams, right? Wendy Williams was a great mentor of mine, you know, still a friend of mine. Everybody sees the situation that she's in right now. Um, she's able to move around a little bit. And we were out to dinner just... What's today? This, this... Monday. Monday. Literally just past Monday. And she said something at dinner and that was profound, and she was just like... We were just talking about just her and the radio and, you know, just the way she used to be on the radio and what her future's gonna look like, and-

    20. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    21. CG

      ... you know, would she come back and be that same individual? Of course she couldn't be 'cause she's not that person any- I mean, she's 60 years old now, right?

    22. MR

      Right.

    23. CG

      But she said something. She said, "You know, I think I might be in this situation because of how, how I used to talk about people." (laughs) That's what she said. You know, she's, you know, she's trapped in the conservative ship.

    24. MR

      Yeah.

    25. CG

      And I was like, "Really?" Sh- I was like, "Wha-" I said, "What do you mean? Like karma?" She said, "Yeah, you know, just like God." I've, I've never heard Wendy talk like that in my life, but it was just confirmation for me that I made the right choices, made confirmation for me that I had the right understanding of the power of my words and the energy that I was putting out there, you know? And I don't, I don't necessarily believe that she's in that situation because of that, but that was what she said.

    26. MR

      Mm.

    27. CG

      So, I just, you know, I wanna... I tell everybody, all of the podcasters and the YouTubers, you know, the radio personalities, "This microphone has a lot of power, and you can cause a lot of hurt, or you can cause a lot of healing, you know, with the things that are coming out of your mouth." I would tell you to choose, uh, choose the healing.

    28. MR

      So, I think every single human being has said things that they regret. Since you've done all this work on yourself, and especially in light of what you just shared that Wendy shared with you, have you reflected at all on how your actions in the past, or the things that you used to say on the mic have hurt other people?

    29. CG

      Oh, yeah.

    30. MR

      And-

  6. 42:16 – 55:26

    Finding Mental Clarity Through Grounding and Gratitude

    1. CG

    2. MR

      You also write in Get Honest or Die Lying, "About any chance I get, I walk out into my backyard, I put my hands on a tree, I lean my head against it, and start to meditate. That's tree hugging. It's a valuable practice I was taught by my sacred purpose coach, Yadi. Here's how I first learned it."Can you tell us a little bit about-

    3. CG

      (laughs)

    4. MR

      ... like, what, what, what is, what, what are you doing when you're doing that? Like, I c- I'm trying to imagine you walking out in your sweatsuit with your bare feet, and you walk right up to that tree and you wrap your arms around that tree.

    5. CG

      Man, salute to Yadi, Yadi Alba. Yadi is a, a, a sacred purpose coach. Yadi, man, it's funny, me and Yadi, it was all th- it s- it started with face down, ass up.

    6. MR

      Face down, ass up?

    7. CG

      Face down, ass up.

    8. MR

      In the grass?

    9. CG

      Yes. I know you're thinking about 2 Live Crew-

    10. MR

      (laughs)

    11. CG

      ... but that was the running joke. The running joke was like, "Yo, go outside, take your shoes off, do some grounding, lay in your backyard." I'm like, "Lay in my backyard?" Like, "Lay down, put your belly on the ground, put your face to the ground, face down, ass up." I know it, it, it sounds f- crazy, but literally that's what I would go do, and you would be surprised the healing energy that comes-

    12. MR

      What do you feel?

    13. CG

      ... when you do that.

    14. MR

      Talk, wha- put me there.

    15. CG

      Peace.

    16. MR

      Peace?

    17. CG

      Peace. Ta-

    18. MR

      Do you feel energy come up-

    19. CG

      You can feel it from the-

    20. MR

      ... like, through the earth?

    21. CG

      E- yes, you can literally, um, that, yo, you can literally feel it from the earth. I know when people, like, "Oh, he's a tree hugger," yeah. I, and you would be too if you could just take your shoes off, walk on the ground, put your forehead up against a tree, lean your back against a tree-

    22. MR

      Yeah.

    23. CG

      ... lay down on your belly. If you wanna just lay, if you wanna lay on your back, lay on your back on the ground, just take a few deep breaths, look up at the sun, look up at the sky. Just pray, just talk to God, and I guarantee you, if you allow yourself no phone, no distractions, I guarantee you, you will feel some type of release.

    24. MR

      Well, you know what's amazing about that? Is you're reminding us all of what we know to be true, because if you think about any experience where you've gone on vacation-

    25. CG

      Oh, yeah.

    26. MR

      ... when you've actually had a chance to lay on a beach-

    27. CG

      Yes.

    28. MR

      ... or to sit down on a trail or to lay down in a park-

    29. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    30. MR

      ... while your kids are swinging and you just take a moment, you feel at peace.

  7. 55:26 – 1:02:19

    Cutting the Small Talk and Speaking With Purpose

    1. MR

      and energy. But, so in your book, Get Honest or Die Lying, um, you know, you talk about how much you hate small talk. Why do you hate small talk?

    2. CG

      'Cause it's bullshit.

    3. MR

      (laughs)

    4. CG

      'Cause then you, you-

    5. MR

      What do you mean, it's bullshit?

    6. CG

      'Cause you're not real, you, you just, you're, you, you know. Two things happen with small talk. And, and Mel, I know you know this. People will come up to you, like, "You know, I really like the frame of your glasses, Mel." Like, you know that's not what they want to talk about. They got something, they got something else they want to ask you-

    7. MR

      Right.

    8. CG

      ... so they just beating around the bush to, to ask about it. I'd rather you just come to me with whatever it is.

    9. MR

      Yeah.

    10. CG

      I don't want the appetizer. I didn't order appetizers. I want the straight entrée.

    11. MR

      (laughs)

    12. CG

      When you, when it comes to conversation, give me the entrée. I don't need to be warmed up. If, especially when you know what it is you actually want. You know what the request is, you know what it is you want to talk about. Don't try to warm me up to the conversation, because it's just bullshit and we know it.

    13. MR

      Waste of time.

    14. CG

      Waste of time.

    15. MR

      You know, you write in Get Honest or Die Lying, this is chapter 28, True Intentions, "One of the best ways to avoid making small talk on any level is to focus on your IG." No, not your Instagram. The IG I'm discussing stands for intention and goals. Can you break that down for me? What is intention and goals?

    16. CG

      Intention and goals. Like, you know what the intention of your conversation is and you know what the goal you're trying to reach in the conversation is. So just get to it. Like, you know what it is. That's all, that's, that's literally what the opposite of small talk is. The opposite of small talk is, I have an intention, I have a goal, I'm gonna go up to this person and I'm gonna have the conversation. I, I remember being a young guy, uh, doing radio in Columbia, South Carolina. First time I ever met Wendy Williams, she's down there doing, uh, her, her nationally syndicated show from one of the stations in Columbia. I walk in the studio. I got mixtapes and I got parody songs I want her to hear. And I'm like, "Yo, I got these mixtapes. I got this parody song I want to hear." I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I give it to the board. I'm like, "Yo, put this in."

    17. MR

      (laughs)

    18. CG

      Wendy goes, "Yo. Take that mixtape shit to my motherfucking husband." Literally, just like that. Verbatim. Like, no small talk, no beating around the bush. I wasn't offended. I go, "Well, where's your husband?" She was like, "Somewhere in there." So I went looking for her husband. And he was in the conference room. Guess what? He was just sitting in there. He had time to listen. Right? (laughs) But that was me not having no small talk.

    19. MR

      Right.

    20. CG

      "Hey, this is what I'm here for. I'm, I'm a radio personality. I got these parody songs, these mixtapes I want you to have." She didn't have no time for small talk 'cause she's trying to do her show. And that got me on the right path, that forged the relationship, you know. I mean, I mean, I don't have a relationship with her husband anymore. But we forged a relationship that ultimately led me to New York.

    21. MR

      How on earth do you deal with the criticism that you get on social media?

    22. CG

      I don't care. I really, I really don't. I don't pay it no attention. That's something I stress to everybody around me. Stay off social media. We are all in verbally abusive relationships with our smartphones. Why? Why would you allow somebody to talk to you like that? You wouldn't allow somebody to talk to you like that in real life. So why do you go online seeking it? Why would you go look at comments in a YouTube channel or comments in a, you know, uh, on, on, on Twit- I ain't been on Twitter since 2019. I, like, everybody running now 'cause of Elon Musk. I'm, f- forget Elon Musk. I ran 'cause of my mental health. I need to protect my peace.

    23. MR

      (laughs)

    24. CG

      I, I used to get on Twitter every morning and say, "Thank you, God, for blessing me with another day of life." Guaranteed, like clockwork, it would be somebody saying, "I was praying you died." (laughs) You know what I mean? So it's like, why would I put myself up to that? I don't need to go on Twitter to thank God. Like, you know, like I can, I thank God every day of my life. So for me, it's like, just don't read it. Like, literally, turn your phone off. Like, I remember, my man, Trick Trick, he's a rapper out of Detroit. I remember one time I saw him say, "Man, soon as I do this," and he turned his phone off and put it down, "I don't even know what the hell y'all talking about." And listen, ignor-

    25. MR

      It's so true.

    26. CG

      ... ignorance is bliss. Uh, you, you ask anybody that works. I mean, I've come into radio stations sometimes, "Did you see such and such?" "Nope, I didn't." "What happened?" Like, I love being clueless. Because literally, why would I care about what another person's opinion of me is? And the other thing I tell the folks, if they're supposed to talk about you. If they're not talking about you, then you're probably not doing what it is that you're supposed to be doing. You're not making no impact whatsoever. So whether or not they talking good about you or whether or not, not, not they talking bad about you, they're talking, and the algorithm doesn't know the difference.

    27. MR

      (laughs) Oh God. You're a genius.

    28. CG

      No, I'm not.

    29. MR

      Yes, you are.

    30. CG

      That's just, that's just a little common sense. 'Cause e- you know, I, I write about it in, in the second book about-

  8. 1:02:19 – 1:09:56

    How Being a Parent Changed Charlamagne

    1. MR

      God. How has having daughters changed you?

    2. CG

      Pshh... Man. (laughs) In, in, in ways that I can't even imagine because I'm nowhere near the type of disciplinarian my father was. Like, I, I'm not putting any type of hands on my daughters in any way, shape, or form. Uh, I, I apologize to them a lot. You know, one of the, one of, once something my s- my oldest daughter, she's 16, you know, I, I'm, I snapped at her about something. We going back and forth about something. I had to check myself and realize, like, "Oh, this don't got nothing to do with her."

    3. MR

      Mm-hmm.

    4. CG

      'Cause, you know, it's something I'm pr- I'm projecting onto her. I'm projecting my fears onto her the same way I said my father raised me out of fear and not love. So when you apologize, I remember apologizing to my 16-year-old daughter, and she said to me, "It's okay. You've never done this before." Meaning this is your first time as a father. This is your first time raising a 16-year-old girl, which is very true. Like, (laughs) so I'm not gonna always get it right. And you think about how, man, you long for, like, just apologies from your parents. 'Cause I know a lot of the things that they might have done to us when we were younger, they didn't know any better. They w- th- they were just doing the best they could with the knowledge and the information and the wisdom they had at the time. So, it's the same thing now. So, when you ask me how my daughters changed me, I really don't know yet. I just know I am being changed. Like, I know that, like, this, there's just something that's changing me as just a human because the one thing I'm really fighting now is realizing that you gotta relinquish control 'cause you cannot control anything that happens to these four little beautiful souls. You can't nothing. Like, you know, the only thing you could do is love them, encourage them. You know, I try to give my daughters the best experiences that they possibly can, can have, and just teach them to be really great people. I, I, the, the things that my mother and father and my grandmother instilled in me that really stuck with me my whole life, I try to give to them. Like, when I tell them, you know, "Manners will take you where money won't."

    5. MR

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

    6. CG

      You know, uh, when I tell them, "When you walk into a room, make sure you make eye contact with everybody. You speak to everybody. Like, just, you know, just, just say hello, like, you know, 'cause everybody is a human being worthy of that, that level of respect. Treat the custodian the way you treat the CEO." Like, you know, that's, I'm big on that, especially with my nine-year-old, 'cause if there's any one of my daughters who is, um, a hell-raiser like I was when I was a kid, it's, it's, it's my nine-year-old. But, you know, my only thing with her is, "You need to have that same smoke for the teachers at school. Don't come to the parents and the people that love you (laughs) and be crazy 'cause I was crazy everywhere when I was your age." I don't tell her that, but that's my mindset. You know? But I do tell her, you know, "You come home, and I know you, you, you act with us the way that you don't act with... at school. I don't ever hear about this type of behavior with you at school. At school, you see the, the, the, oh, she's a pleaser, and she's great and all that. But at home, you, you know, wh-"

    7. MR

      Do you know what that means?

    8. CG

      No, what does that mean?

    9. MR

      'Cause it's, 'cause some- 'cause I used to complain about my kids this way too.

    10. CG

      Okay.

    11. MR

      S- uh, uh, uh, a parenting expert therapist told me that that actually is a sign-

    12. CG

      Oh, they feel safe.

    13. MR

      ... that they feel safe with you-

    14. CG

      Yes, yes. Yes.

    15. MR

      ... 'cause they've been holding it together at school.

    16. CG

      Yes.

    17. MR

      And, you know, I really wanna acknowledge you and your wife for something. And, like, it just, I think it's so beautiful.

    18. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    19. MR

      You know, you started by talking about choices, and we've talked a lot about the power of a decision, right? And you talked in the very beginning of this about how your dad parented out of fear. The choice that you have made to do work on your inner self and to learn how to extend yourself the grace that we all deserve and to also learn how to show up and do better, in that simple story of your daughter reflecting back to you the things that you have shared with us today... Dad, this is your first time doing this too. She is actually evidence that all of the healing that you have done and all of the work that you and your wife have done have actually broken that pattern of parenting out of fear and have broken the way that trauma gets passed through families.

    20. CG

      Mm-hmm.

    21. MR

      And I just really wanted to acknowledge that because that is incredible.

    22. CG

      Man, you know, I remember during COVID, 'cause my daughter is 16. I think when she might have been, like, 13, 14, she, we s- started putting her in therapy, not for any reason other than why not?You know, it's like, it's like, she- she's a- she's a athlete, she's working out all the time, right, for cheer, so it's the same thing. It's just like, why not go learn what you might be dealing with early? And I remember during COVID, she came to us and she goes... She was crying, "I'm overwhelmed." She was like, "I'm overwhelmed." She said that, she was like, "I'm overwhelmed right now." And I was like, "Do you think me or your mom would be upset that your grades are slipping during this unprecedented time?" None of us have ever had to experience anything like this. I can only imagine being in eighth grade and you're sitting there trying to do clay projects on the floor and you're, you know, trying to get through-

    23. MR

      Right.

    24. CG

      ... class during the day on your computer. Like, I can only imagine. But the fact that she had the language to come to us and tell us she's overwhelmed. My nine-year-old and six-year-old same way. I talk to them about going to therapy, I tell them about, you know, dealing with anxiety, dealing with depression. Now you got movies like, um-

    25. MR

      Oh, Inside Out?

    26. CG

      ... I- In- Inside Out.

    27. MR

      Yeah.

    28. CG

      You know, you got movies like Inside Out that are showing them their emotions and their feelings, Inside Out part one and part two. So these kids have the language, and that's all I really want. I don't know how possible it is, but I've always said all I want to do is raise trauma-free babies, man. That's it. I mean, I know that they gonna go through their own experiences in life and they're gonna have their own things that they gotta deal with, but I wanna at least raise... Ha- have them have a trauma-free childhood as- as- as much as possible.

    29. MR

      Well, it's very clear you and your wife are giving them the tools to actually respond to anything that's happening.

    30. CG

      Mm-hmm.

Episode duration: 1:23:38

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