The Mel Robbins PodcastThe 2026 Body Reset: The Proven Protocol to Get Stronger, Lose Fat, & Take Control of Your Health
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,007 words- 0:00 – 9:16
Meet the Guest
- MRMel Robbins
(instrumental music plays) Today, you and I are tackling one of the most important topics: your health. And we're gonna do it with one of the top spine surgeons and neurosurgeons in the world. Doctor Betsy Grunch is here. If you've ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your body, I want you to consider this episode. Your full body reset. Because Doctor Grunch is gonna give you a step-by-step, simple approach that is gonna help you take control of your health and your life once and for all. What are a couple things that you personally avoid in order to protect your back?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Number one: no nicotine. So-
- MRMel Robbins
No nicotine? Why?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Nicotine is one of the biggest accelerators of degenerative disc disease in our spine. What you need to realize is that your back is not just your bones, your discs, your, your joints, your ligaments. It's mostly supported by your muscle. All of these are the structural support to your spine. Don't move, you're setting yourself up for failure. At the time of my heaviest, I was 260 pounds. I would come home from school every day and drink a Mountain Dew and, you know, eat some Reese's peanut butter cups. So, I didn't wanna look in the mirror because I was getting fat. And then all of a sudden, like, a knife went through my back. Took me to my knees, the most incredible intense pain I've ever experienced, and I couldn't move. My mind was spiraling, and it was that moment that I knew I had to change.
- MRMel Robbins
What do you know now that you would say to somebody who's saying, "I just can't get control of this." What do you want them to know?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be that...
- MRMel Robbins
Hey, it's Mel. And before we get into this episode, which by the way is, pooh, it's incredible, you're gonna love this, you're gonna love Doctor Betsy Grunch, but first, my team was showing me that 57% of you who watch the Mel Robbins Podcast here on YouTube are not subscribed yet. Do me a quick favor: hit Subscribe so that you do not miss any of the extraordinary episodes that we post here on YouTube. It also lets me know that you're enjoying the guests and the content that we're bringing you, because I wanna make sure you don't miss anything. Thanks for subscribing. All right, you ready? Awesome. Let's dive in. Doctor Betsy Grunch, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Thank you so much for having me.
- MRMel Robbins
It is an honor to meet you.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I'm so excited to be here. Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, we are all super excited, and here's how I wanna start: could you share how my life might be different if I take everything to heart that you're about to teach us today and I apply it to my own life?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
What we're about to talk about is going to change every part of how you think about your life to help you live a better life in your 20s, your 30s, but even fast-forwarding to your 50s, 60s, 70s where you won't have pain. You maybe have better health, um, better clarity in your vision of what you want for yourself, is what we're about to talk about.
- MRMel Robbins
Ooh, I believe you.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
I believe you. What made you decide to pursue neurosurgery?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So, whenever I was little, I think most young girls look up to their mom, and they love their mom, and I was no different. My mom was a cop, she was just the ultimate badass. I watched her-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... get ready every morning, put the bulletproof vest on, and I thought there was no one cooler than my mom. And I wanted to be a police officer, and, um, I was about two weeks before I was to start high school, and I'm a big softball player, so we had tryouts for the junior varsity softball team. Softball was my life at the time. And I went to bed that night and she was on the nightshift, she worked nightshift. She told me she was gonna take me to practice the next morning to tryouts, and I went to bed, and when I woke up, she wasn't there. Um, my aunts had woke me up and they told me that something had happened to her.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
And I could tell by just them being there that something was, was not right. And they said she had been in an accident and we need to go to the hospital. So, we went to the hospital and I'll never forget the moment of getting there, going up the elevator, and her doctor walked off, her neurosurgeon walked off the elevator and he said, "I'm sorry. She's broken her neck and she's never gonna walk again." And then he walked off. And that, that's kinda, that was it. And I just saw her intubated in the ICU and we were just like, "What's happened?" What, what is, what, w- I can't believe this is happening. And that experience, that moment of just your world being completely turned bels- upside down, I thought, you know, softball was my life, now everything had just caved. And, um, just going through the rehab experience with her, seeing the teams, the healthcare team, the doctors, the nurses, the therapists, and those months of recovery were really, really powerful in impacting how I saw the world, how I saw my life, how I wanted to help people like her, this experience that I had, and how I felt like, "I'm gonna cure spinal cord injury."
- MRMel Robbins
Ah.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
"I want, I want my mom to walk again, and by God, I'm gonna figure it out." (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
How did she break her neck?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So she was driving her police car down in a semi-dangerous part of our town, um, there's a lot of gang activity in that part of town, and she got called to some people that w- were on private property, and when she drove by the property, it was gang members and they shot at her vehicle, and she tried to veer off from the bullets and hit a tree, and the, and the roof kinda caved in and, and broke her neck. And she laid there for probably 15 minutes, 'cause it was 2:00 in the morning, no one saw her, no one knew the accident happened, the people that shot at her car drove off, and, uh, just a bystander drove by and saw the vehicle on the side of the road, and, and thank God they did.
- MRMel Robbins
What was it like to just go, "Okay, you know what?I'm not only going to go into the medical field, but I am going to-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... go into one of the most male-dominated fields in medicine. What was that journey like?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Growing up with my mom being a female cop, she always told me, "You can do anything a man can do." You know, "Women can do everything. Women are strong." And that's how I was raised, and so, you know, neurosurgery, 219 board certified neurosurgeons that are women in the US out of 3,500. So there's not many of us. Um, so that space isn't really built for us. It's a space where you walk into that you automatically, you know, look around and maybe feel like you don't belong, but I just told myself, "I do belong. This is... I- I can do this. She did it, I can do it. There's nothing that they can tell me. I'm gonna work harder. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be stronger and outperform any of the guys." And that's what I did.
- MRMel Robbins
Now, how did the experience of caring for your mom, and also the experience of being in the hospital as a caregiver to somebody with this kind of injury, how did that shape the way that you approach medicine, the way that you treat your patients?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I think when you're on the other side of the table, as a, as a doctor, we see things totally different. But as a patient, it's- it's a experience that can be very traumatizing, very overwhelming, very over-stimulating, and, and, um, I think once you've had that experience of being on the other side, it makes you more empathetic.
- 9:16 – 11:58
What the #1 Neurosurgeon Wished Her Patients Knew
- MRMel Robbins
your specialty is back and spine. What do you wish people knew before they ended up on the operating table?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I wish people knew that there are things that you can do in your life that can change your future and keep you off of the operating table. I think a lot of people just live their life thinking, "It's gonna happen. It's fine. I'll just deal with it when it happens." And that's not- that's not always true. There are things that we can do to make your life better, and- and that's what I'm- I'm hoping to really relay to people. Um, also just surgery isn't a cure. I think people just think, "Okay, problem's broken. This is a fix." And then they go back to how it was.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
And especially in spine surgery, things that we do in the OR can really change the rest of your life. You know, the things, the... If we fuse your spine, for example, you might have, uh, up to a 25, 30% chance of having another back surgery in your future. So, making that decision is not just black and white.
- MRMel Robbins
So what are some of the things that you can do in terms of ways that you can be healthier that keep you off the operating table?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Making sustainable change.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So, that means, you know, doing diet plans aren't just something that you can live by. You really have to just kind of change your life in a way that you can live things reliable and sustainably. Crash exercise. You know, it- it's the beginning of the year, I'm gonna... New me. New year, new me. You know, I'm gonna get in the- the gym every single day. That's not realistic, right? So you have to decide what you can do in your day-to-day life that you can continue in this journey of life to make yourself better. And- and you can't push yourself too hard, because you'll- you'll give up. And I've been there, and I think that's really important for everybody to know, that we need to make changes that you can live with.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, what have you learned after 12 years as a spinal surgeon? What are the most important things about living a healthy life?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I've been through all the things in my life, in my training, being overweight, you know, being out of shape, having kids, having back issues, actually. So those things, and then seeing what my patients go through, injuries that they sustain earlier in life to their back and- and how that might transform they are when they're 50, 60, 70 years old. Those things that we can do in our life that can make us better for ourselves and show up every single day as a better person, as a stronger person, will make you into a person in your future that- that you wanna be.
- 11:58 – 27:26
Caregivers Can Finally Put Themselves First
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
- MRMel Robbins
You know, you were talking earlier about how you became the caregiver for your mom.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Then you're pursuing a career as a neurosurgeon, and you yourself were not taking care of yourself. Can you just kinda talk a little bit about...... what your state of health was-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... how you let yourself go, 'cause I think we can all relate to this.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Absolutely. When that happened to my mom, obviously when we have something happen in our life that kinda uproots everything we know, for me, it wa- I, I became very much a stress eater. Food was my coping mechanism. Food was my joy. I would come home from school every day and drink a Mountain Dew and, you know, eat some Reese's peanut butter cups. That was my kryptonite. And you do that over and over again, and, and it, and it changes you. So fast forward through residency, med school, all of those things, that's how I dealt with stress, and I became very unhealthy. And so here I was, this very unhealthy person, dedicating my life to improving the health of others.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So it was like, "What am I doing?" I knew what I was doing, but I couldn't change it, and I was just in this cycle. And it wasn't until, you know, I really had a moment in which I injured my back that I said, "Okay, Betsy Things, you've, we've gotta change." So it's, um, I, I don't know. It's, it's definitely eye-opening, and I want everybody to know that, that that's how all of us are. We all have these moments where we think that we aren't in control, but you can change it.
- MRMel Robbins
So for the person who's listening, who either is l- you know, nodding along on, "Yep, Mountain Dew, Reese's, yep, stress eating, I'm with you, Dr. Grunch, uh-huh, uh-huh, I see where this train is headed, and it is headed for a train wreck," or they're thinking about somebody that they love deeply who is stress eating and caring for everybody else, but not taking care of themselves.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, you said, "I felt like I couldn't change it," but what do you know now about your own physical transformation that you would say to somebody who's chugging the Mountain Dew, or they're just stress eating, and they're saying, "I just can't get control of this"? What do you want them to know?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I want them to know that in order to care best for others, you have to care for yourself. And if I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be that it's okay to love yourself. It's okay to take time for you. We put so much time in our life to, to caring for others or to trying to do better for others, especially as, as physicians or, or as caregivers. We're all in that situation, and I, I never thought that taking that time for me, I thought o- of it as taking away from what I wanted to do, which was take care o- of other people.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
And, uh, I wish I could go back and change that.
- MRMel Robbins
What was the thing that finally snapped you into place, and you were like, "I gotta change. Like, this is f- I'm, I'm treating myself terribly here"?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. I think it's the mental, like, stress that we undergo as, as caregivers. So we have this, like, focus towards if we're doing something, it diverts our attention away from the obvious. So if I am caring for my mom, or if I'm caring for whoever that person may be, I can then divert my mind to focus on that task-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... instead of opening my mind up to think about what's going on with me. And that's the, the change that has to happen, I think, in most people, that we don't want to think about that. We, we, it's overwhelming, it's stressful, and, um, uh, whatever that moment is that, that you say to yourself, "It's time," that's the time where that mental focus shifts, and then you realize that to be your best self, you have to make that change.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, what was going on with Betsy at that point? As you're caregiving and going through school and trying to grind it out through life and just getting through it and getting through it, and the Mountain Dew and the Reese's and the food becomes these small moments of joy, like, what was the thing you really needed to look at that you can see now was the issue?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
It's the cycle. So I didn't wanna look in the mirror because I was getting fat. Um, uh, everyone in my family was focused on my mom and not focused on me. No one was asking how I was doing. I was a smart fat girl, so I didn't get asked to prom, I didn't get asked to go do the fun stuff, but I did
- NANarrator
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... ask for them to help with the homework. And so all of these things, like, I became everyone's outlet for help, but then no one asked me how I was helping myself, and that was what you're taught, right? So no one is asking me, so I must just internalize that behavior. And it became, "How can I find joy?" And, and for me, that joy was unhealthy, and, and finding ways to make myself happy, that just propagated the cycle.
- MRMel Robbins
Put me at the moment where you're like, "I can't do this anymore. I'm carrying too much weight. I've now hurt my back. I'm in spinal residence." (laughs) Like, what was the moment for you? 'Cause you let yourself go for a long time while you were caring for everybody el-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And nobody's gonna blame you for doing that.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
I mean, I can't even imagine the amount of pressure and sadness, and just maybe even loneliness you were feeling in what you were dealing with.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
For me, the aha moment was I got through residency, started my job, still living this life, m- m- married my amazing husband, had our first child, and I was changing the diaper. My first child is a, was a boy, so you know, pee goes everywhere.
- MRMel Robbins
And s-
- 27:26 – 30:49
Daily Routines and Habits for a Busy Life
- MRMel Robbins
what do you do specifically as a neurosurgeon and a busy mom? Can you walk me through a day? I'm not talking about a day where you're on call for 72 hours, but, like, what are kind of the general things? 'Cause the, the, the folks that listen to this show-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and the, the person who's made the time to spend with us, Dr. Grunch, is like, "Okay, you sound like me-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and you're absolutely amazing. Tell me what you do." Like, what, w- you wake up? What do you eat? What do you exercise... Like, what is your routine on a day where you're getting 90% of it right?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I love those days. Those are, those are the glory days, right? You feel so proud-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... of yourself and you win. Those days are amazing, and every day is not gonna be like that. But I wake up in the morning. I, uh, I am not a morning person, believe it or not. I went into a career in which I am born into being a n- morning person. I am not. So I actually don't work out in the mornings anymore. I tried really hard, and I realized sustainable change, that it's not for me. So wake up, have my coffee, and get my kids ready, and I'll eat eggs and oatmeal with blueberries. Blueberries, antioxidant, so get a little anti-inflammatory in there. And then, you know, go to work, and I try to eat protein and some type of vegetable for lunch and dinner. And the best, the thing about chaotic life, which all of us can relate to, moms, work schedule, caregivers, whatever, you don't have time, is really, like, I try my best to food prep because I don't have to think about it. Because if I'm left to my own means, it's dangerous. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Yes. (laughs) Yes.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So, so yeah. So I try to kind of at least think about what I'm gonna eat and, and plan that for the day, so whenever that decision comes up, I don't have the opportunity to make a bad decision. I've kinda planned that out for myself. And then I work out, you know, go to work, do my thing, assuming it's one of these 90% glory days, feed my kids dinner, and then, um, and then I'll, I, I work out at night. So yeah. I just take an hour for me. I, that way, I don't feel pressured. The kids are asleep. I don't have to worry about this, what, and that, and then I can do it, and then, then it's good.
- MRMel Robbins
What I love about what you just said, Dr. Grunch, is you figured out how to make it work for you, and that's the secret to sustainable change. And I think especially for women, there's so much aimed at us in terms of doing it all perfectly, and you see a ton about morning routines. You see a ton of people online working out at daytime, and for a lot of us, it just isn't gonna work 'cause you're, you're not gonna get up at 4:00 in the morning and exercise before your kids get up.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
And so I also love that you are giving us an example that, look, you can do it at night. You can put the kids down and do a yoga class that you stream online. You could lift a couple weights for 20 minutes. You'll probably sleep better, and then you're getting it in.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yup.It's all about getting it in and, and most importantly, what fits in your schedule. 'Cause I tried for a- many years of getting up early and, like, all these other people online are doing it, I'm like, "But God, I'm so tired (laughs) when I do that." And I just, I, that's not me. I'm, I'm better at night. And I think, you know, maybe some people are better in the afternoon, maybe they have a lunch break that they can go do it, but just do it. Whatever it is, whatever, however it can fit into your schedule, just do it.
- 30:49 – 44:13
The Four Things That Destroy Your Back
- MRMel Robbins
So, you mentioned, Dr. Grunch, that 80% of us will experience back pain, and this is not just for people that are older. Like, lot of younger people experience back pain. You experienced it in the- when you were a new mom. And so, let's start with what not to do. As a spinal surgeon, what are a couple things that you personally avoid in order to protect your back?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So there are four things, if I was talking to my best friend about what I would tell them to, that they could do for themself that would help their back, would be, number one, no nicotine. So-
- MRMel Robbins
No nicotine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
No nicotine. No smoke-
- MRMel Robbins
Nico- What?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
No zins, no nothing, no toothpicks that have nicotine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
No cigarettes, no vapes?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Nope.
- MRMel Robbins
Why?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I think, I think that as one of the things, if I could get on the tallest mountain in the world, and maybe not the tallest 'cause I'm a little scared of heights, but if I can get up on the biggest soapbox and tell everybody, would be nicotine is terrible for your spine, and we know it's bad for your heart, we know it's bad for your lungs. But I cannot tell you how many patients every single day that I tell them that and their mind is blown. Nicotine is one of the biggest accelerators of degenerative disc disease in our spine, and I can look at two X-rays and I can tell you which one's a smoker. It's, it's, it's mind-blowing, and I want, and I want more people to know that.
- MRMel Robbins
I've never heard that. Why does nicotine degenerate your spine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So nicotine's a vasoconstrictor. So that word means our blood vessels, like, get bigger or get smaller. So if you're working out, your blood vessels dilate so you get all flushed, your re- your skin gets red, you sweat. That's what, that's vasodilation. So that's when your blood vessels get big. Vasoconstriction is where the blood vessels shrink. So all of our blood vessels have a muscles on, so they get bigger and smaller, bigger and smaller. So that's like when you get cold, you get clammy. We call it the fight or flight response, a sympathetic response. You see a bear, you know, your hair raises up on your skin, you get really cold and everything tenses up. So that's what nicotine does. It's a vasoconstrictor. It narrows your blood vessels, it releases those sympathetic nervous system response, and what that does is it decreases the amount of blood flow to your spine. So, let's say you go to bend over, pick something up, maybe have a little tweak in your back. Your body's gonna heal itself, so your body's gonna deliver blood and nutrients to the injury, to oxygen to that area, and, and help your body heal from that little, uh, maybe tear that you had in your back or whatever the case may be. And if you consistently use nicotine, your body won't be able to heal itself. So you fast-forward years of nicotine use and you'll get accelerated degeneration of your spine. Also, nicotine increases in- inflammation in your body. We know inflammation causes pain. So it's just, uh, it's, it's bad, and I wish everyone could stop.
- MRMel Robbins
And I take it that if you have this sort of degeneration that happens because of that vasoconstriction and the lack of blood flow to the spine, and also the inflammation, that this is not a back injury that surgery can help with. This is, like, a long-term degenerative thing?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Correct. It's a process over time, right? We talked about change over time, and change can be good, change can be bad. So if you, if you do consistent things over time that are bad, the end result is, is going to be bad spine.
- MRMel Robbins
Got it. Wow. So what is a second thing that you would avoid-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I-
- MRMel Robbins
... to protect your back?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I would avoid sedentary lifestyle. So we've touched on exercise, but I would make sure that I move every single day. That movement doesn't have to be going to the gym and pumping weights, but it's getting your blood flow, getting your fre- if the, if it's a 15-minute walk outside during your lunch break, whatever it is, just stay moving.
- MRMel Robbins
And what's the third thing, Dr. Grunch, to avoid in order to protect your back?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Uh, lifting properly. So we are all culprit of bending over and picking what, up objects with bad forms, and you wanna bend over and really, they always, we always teach, you know, pick up with your legs, pick, use, don't use your back, pick up with your legs, and it's so true because that's how we often develop back injuries, is from picking up something with improper form. And that can just be the Amazon box on the side of the curb, you're trying to do it quickly, but if it's heavy, you know, you need to be really careful with how you do that, because I've seen so many people just, you know, randomly doing something that they think is, is, uh, safe and, and they really hurt themself, so... Uh, and then the last thing I would say is sleeping with proper form. So-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs) Sleeping with proper form?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes. (laughs) We sleep, we spend a third of our lives in the bed. That's crazy. Like, years and years of our life is spent laying in a bed, so why would you lay in a form or in, on a, on a mattress or, or in a position that would hurt yourself? So I think learning how to really sleep better and sleep with higher quality and more protection of your spine will help ease the pain that you may have in the future.
- MRMel Robbins
So Dr. Grunch, what is the best sleeping position for the spine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... not the stomach. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, so not sleeping on the stomach.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Not sleeping on the stomach. And back and side sleeping is, is fine. I was a big-time stomach sleeper, and it wasn't until I could not sleep on my stomach when I was pregnant, that I really changed. And I, I knew that stomach sleeping was bad, but I still did it anyway. You wanna just put your spine in a neutral alignment, so where your spine is natu- our spine has natural curves.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So you wanna support those while you sleep in a position in which will kind of maintain that natural shape of the spine. So if you're this back sleeper, making sure you have enough support for the back of your head, putting a little pillow between your knees to keep your knees a little flexed.
- 44:13 – 51:48
How to Sit for Better Spinal Health
- MRMel Robbins
a proper way to sit for the best spinal health? And I ask that because I noticed-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... as you start- were talking about sitting, I'm like, "Okay, I better"-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
"... uncross my legs." And then I noticed-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Right.
- MRMel Robbins
... I kinda had slumped down like Jabba the Hutt-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... in my chair. Okay, do you notice that? Like, you're not-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... paying attention, and all of a sudden, your stomach's like (imitates growling sound) -
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... and your shoulders are kinda up at your ears like earrings? And I, I, and I often wonder, why do I slump down like that? And is there some tech, like, should we be doing something as we're sitting to support our spinal health?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So what's happening when you're slouching down is all those muscles are just letting go. And then you all have looked over at your, your spouse or, or your kid at home. You're like, "Oh, why are they sitting like that? Like, straighten up. Like, pull, pull the shoulders back." And then as I'm talking to you, I'm like, "Oh, um, my spines hurt (imitates soft music) anybody so I'm sitting up like this."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Um, but yeah, our brain just, like, we, like, we, we defocus away from, like, how we're sitting until we, like, engage that mental strength. "Oh, I need a..." You know. So they sell so many ergonomic chairs. I think all that's marketing gimmicks for the most part, but really anything... Again, sitting and sleeping. We talked about the neutral spine position. It's the same thing. So our neutral position is, you know, our posture is keeping that back up, keeping our lumbar support. I love having just a little lumbar support pillow on any chair that I'm, I work at, at home, at work, um, in my car. Just a little... It, and it depends on the person. Like, some people have really flat backs. Some people have really sway backs. So anything to keep that, like, kind of alignment 'cause that... If you have something pushing in your back, it'll kinda, "Oh, need to, like, pull my shoulders back a little bit."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes. Yes.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So yeah. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And both feet on the ground? How do you feel about crossed legs-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I mean-
- MRMel Robbins
... as a spinal surgeon?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. Both feet is the best position now, but, you know, as long as you change positions and kinda realign and have that middle set to, to, to, to pull your shoulders back and pull your neck back. And yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
What is tech neck, and how is being on our phone all the time shaping our spine, Dr. Grundsch?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So your head weighs anywhere from 10 to 15 pounds. So when we are sitting upright, we have 10 to 15 pounds pushing down on our spine. If you lean forward at an angle, like you're looking at a phone, and we all do it, that force of weight becomes up to 60 pounds.
- MRMel Robbins
60?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
6-0. Yeah. So you can imagine how much more pressure you're putting on your neck, your spine, your muscles, all of that when you lean forward. So simple changes to pull your phone up where you're eye level (imitates high-pitched buzzing sound) ― it doesn't look very cool, but or even just at your desk. Like, your monitor is here, so you're looking down. Like, can I bring it just a little, like, stand, a box maybe, maybe that Amazon box? Shove it under your monitor so you're looking straight ahead. Those little changes, if you're looking at your monitor all day for three or four hours, you could think of, "If I'm putting 10 pounds of pressure on my spine versus looking down at my monitor, now I'm putting 30 pounds of pressure all day," how much, how much strain that'll cause over time on your neck. So those little... That's what tech neck is, and it's, it's, it's a real thing, you know? It, it, it makes our muscles weaker. It gives us tension, um, arthritis in our neck. Headaches. Headaches are so common.
- MRMel Robbins
Wait. Headaches come from tech neck?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. There's so many causes of, of headaches, but as a generalization, I would... Uh, people that have neck issues, 90% of them have headaches as well. So those, you know, little changes can really even a- affect how, how you think.
- MRMel Robbins
So Dr. Grundsch, as a spinal surgeon, as you look at society, and especially kids who are still growing and developing, and everyone is slumped over with tech neck, and you just said 60 pounds of pressure on your spine-If you roll the clock forward 10 or 20 years, are you concerned about kind of a chronic injury that you think we're gonna be seeing a lot if, if we don't take this advice seriously, around where your monitor is and just lifting your phone up so that you're not putting tech-neck pressure on your spine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I am concerned that over time, you know, we're in this decade of, of everyone has a phone, even, even my... I had to... I hate to admit it, but my kids have phones, and then how will that look for, for them in 20, 30, 40 years? Yeah, I mean, you know, I didn't have a cell phone growing up, so that my generation is, is, is not as many neck problems, but I'm starting to see younger and younger people with disc issues, with, with neck pain, with migraines, and all these things, and, and I hope that, that people can really take some of these little points home and just change maybe the way they hold, hold their phone, or, you know, laying down in bed. Like, don't, like, don't look at your phone on the couch. Like, maybe recline back so you're taking that pressure off, or whatever the case may be to make those changes.
- 51:48 – 56:07
What to Do If You Want to Lose Weight Effectively
- MRMel Robbins
Talk to me about weight and how that impacts your spinal health, because you've already shared that, you know, when you hit that moment with yourself, you had 100 pounds to lose.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So how does carrying excess weight impact the spine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
That is really important because we... The more weight we carry on our bodies, the more stress we put on our spine. So, you know, if you're 150 pounds versus 250 pounds, you can imagine the everyday walking, what that does to your... To not only to your spine, but to your hips and to your knees and, and everything. And so, that is something that will worsen all your joint pain. But if we specifically talk about the back and you talk about we've, we've hit all the points, so keeping your spine in that neutral position, keeping your core strong, all those things, but if you have obesity and you have a really heavy belly, that pull on your, on your spine forward and that extra weight that's off-centered is really adding a lot more stress to your back, and then over, over time, it can, it can worsen that. And then, you know, as we get heavy and... Look, I've been there. I know exactly what it feels like. That, uh, is, is difficult to carry around like that, and you don't, you don't necessarily have the strongest core, and then you're relying on those, like I said, the, the, the joints, the discs, and all those things that'll just get worse over, over time. And y- at any point, you can look in the mirror at 20, at 40, at 70, and say, "I can make changes that can make myself a better person." And that's achievable at any of these stages.
- MRMel Robbins
If you have a patient that is coming to you for back pain and stiffness and they are carrying a lot of extra weight, are there one or two specific things you tell them to start doing now? I'm curious because I think when you get to a point where you've really let yourself go-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... there's so much discouragement and it feels like... Egh. Is it really gonna matter?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Can I lose the weight? I don't even know where to begin. Are there one or two specific things that you tell somebody that is your patient to either encourage them or to say, "Just focus on this thing"?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. I think most of us have been in that position. And the, and the patients that I see in the office, it's so hard because they'll look at me and say, "Dr. Grunch, like, I know I need to...... work out, but my back hurts. I can't work out 'cause my back hurts. So what do I do? And 80% of weight loss is not necessarily exercise, it's what you're putting in your mouth every day. And that is something that you control. Your brain is, is telling your hand what to do, and so it's that mental focus and what we can do to, to change what we do. And so, the biggest thing that I think is really important for people is understanding what they're eating, because I'm fully culprit of that. Like, I just, you know, snacking, we got stuff laying around. Might walk out here and pick up whatever is laying out in your lobby and eat it. Not even think twice about it. But keep a food log, right? Write it all down. "What did I consume today?" And then look at that, and then calculate it up. You know, how much of that is... How many calories did I consume? How much of that was, you know, high, like glucose, just pure sugar, stuff that if my body doesn't burn in that moment, it's just gonna go to fat stores. And so what, what... Did I really need those, you know, um, nerd gum, clusters? Those things are so good, but like, no, I didn't really need that. (laughs) I coulda just thrown 'em in the trash can or left 'em there. But yeah, so, so that is, uh, is something that I really encourage people to do, is keep a food log and see what you're doing, "What can I do to change it?" And, and the hardest part is making a change.
- MRMel Robbins
I love that. Uh, and the other reason why I love that is because there's so much research that shows that people that keep a food log versus people who don't, the people who keep a food log are way more successful at achieving their health goals 'cause you're aware of what you're doing.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So much of it, you're right, is just-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mindless.
- MRMel Robbins
... mindlessly grabbing at that stuff.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
So, do you have specific
- 56:07 – 58:07
Exercises to Strengthen Your Core and Support Your Spine
- MRMel Robbins
exercises that you recommend that people do to build the muscles that support your spine?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes. So, we've touched on the core. So, you, you know, I mean, doing biceps, triceps, all that stuff is, is important too, but the thing I think that people really don't think about is, is, is the core. And so, the one exercise that I love the most that I try to recommend to everybody is a glute bridge. Do you know what that is?
- MRMel Robbins
I, I do, but for the person who's listening who might not know what that is, you lay down-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you explain how you do it.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. Lay down and you put your feet on the floor and then kinda have your knees, like, bent, um, and then thrust your hips. So you're thrusting your pelvis forward or lifting it off the bed. You can even lie on, like, the back of a bench or something and do that. And that movement, um, really works a lot of your core and your glutes. Our, our gluteal muscles, like in our butt basically, what makes our butt juicy, um, actually helps support your back. And then, um, the bird dog. So for people who don't know what that is, it's kind of like on all fours, you're on your knees, on your hands, and then lifting one hand up and extending the opposite leg back, and then alternating that. Not everybody can do that, depending on their level of, of fitness. Um, but, but those are-
- MRMel Robbins
You could work up to it.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
You can, yeah. And most importantly, you know, it's intimidating to, to try to do these if you don't know what you're doing. I mean, there's great videos that you can find online on how to do it properly, but don't be afraid to go see a physical therapist. I mean, I, I, I'm healthy, 45-year-old woman and I'll, I'll go see my physical therapist. They can give you good guidance and you don't, you know, necessarily need to go on every single day for six weeks in a row. I mean, go once or twice, get some good tidbits on how to do things properly, make sure you got the good form, and then those little, the little facts, little tidbits you can take and kinda, and go with, run with.
- MRMel Robbins
If you've got a patient that's never
- 58:07 – 1:05:03
How to Walk into the Gym with Confidence
- MRMel Robbins
lifted a weight in their life, and they're like, "Doc, I'm, I'm ready, but I have no idea what to do. I feel intimidated-"
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
"... and lost. I get the glute bridge, I get the bird dog-"
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
"... but do you have any, uh, recommendations for how to go to a gym and not feel completely lost?"
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. I struggled with that myself too, and I think as a society, it's, we think that you're supposed to walk in and like you see all these ripped bros in there, like, curling 50-pound dumbbells and... If you're that 50-year-old woman walking in the gym, you don't feel like you belong. And no one likes to feel and be in an environment where you don't feel like you belong. And that's intimidating and that's discouraging. And unfortunately, we built this culture, fitness culture, around what we think the gym is supposed to look like. So you walk in there and you don't know what you're doing, it's really, really intimidating, especially for women, right? So we walk in the gym, see all these guys in there and you, do I need, do I... Everyone's gonna look at you and, and you feel like, "Okay, I need to go get on the treadmill because that's what I, I, that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm a... Girls are supposed to do cardio, boys are supposed to curl." And we need to change that mindset that, no, women can lift too. Women, lifting heavy weights is going to change your life. It's going to make you stronger, it's gonna make your muscles stronger. It's gonna help your bones. So many women develop weak bones, osteoporosis, and it's happening earlier and earlier because we're not lifting weights. And that is really important to changing the way we can live our life when we're, you know, 50, 60, 70 years old.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, one of the things that I found, because that was me-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and super intimidated-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Not quite sure what to do, not sure how to lift the bench up. "Should I lift the bench?"
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
"Should I not lift the bench on an angle? Am I standing? Am I kneeling? I don't know what to..." What I found with any gym you walk into is the people at the front desk were more than happy-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... to walk you around- (laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... and show you. And most gyms will give you a free training session-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... so that you understand how to use things.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And simply asking somebody to help you adjust a machine to your body shape (laughs) and type-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
What a novel... I went to a gym for a year and a half and didn't know how to use half the equipment, and finally I'm like, "Why don't I just ask somebody?"
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. I think it's really important to realize that that's everybody, right? Unless you're like a gym pro, we're, most of us aren't.... go in there an- and to walk into an environment that you've never been in before, don't know any of the equipment, don't know the people, don't know what to expect, don't know what to do, you're like, "Oh, shit. I'm never coming back here again. I felt really dumb." No, go there, walk in. The first day, don't work out. Just go explore, look around, see what they got. That way, you don't feel like you're doing- you're feeling stupid or whatever. Go to the front desk, ask for a tour. Like, "What equipment do you have and how do you use it? Can you just give me a tour? I'm not really wanna work out today, I just wanna kinda learn what you got." Take pictures if you need to. Take that ab- information, go home, and then come back with a strategic plan so when you walk in, you feel like you own it and you know what you're doing. And then go back and do it again, and then do it again. And then you know what? Couple weeks down the road, you're gon- you're gonna be the one teaching that person that's coming in that doesn't know what they're doing. Welcome them in, show them how to do it, show them how this thing works so you're not propagating that intimidation that- uh...
- MRMel Robbins
Doctor Grunch, you just changed my life. Y- I'm gonna admit something. I have been staying in the same hotel-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... on the weeks that we tape episodes, and I've been there for six months. I only went to the gym (laughs) for the first time the last production week, and I walked in and I thought, "Oh, my God. This is a beautiful gym." And I walked around, and I was so intimidated-
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know the equipment. It never even occurred to me that I could go in and film it or take photos of it. There's so many hotel gyms that I've walked in and then just left.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yep.
- 1:05:03 – 1:09:13
What Pregnancy Does to Your Spine
- MRMel Robbins
hear what is happening in a woman's back and in her spine when you're going through pregnancy and the postpartum period.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Destruction. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I think- (laughs) I think we all- we've all been there, uh, if you've ever been pregnant. But yeah, I mean, so- you know, your body goes from a form that you've lived your entire life, maybe 20, 30 years, for me, 38 years, in this one form, to then in nine months, adding 50 to 100 pounds, all abdominal, everything's changing, and that's a lot of change in your body if you are... Like, even if you're unhealthy going into pregnancy, it's a lot of- of changes on anybody's body. So it increases the amount of blood that we have in our body, you know, the baby, all the water weight that we get, and then it stretches our abdomen. So we're carrying, obviously, the baby in our- in our uterus, so those abdominal muscles split, they stretch, they get super, um, destroyed. And then not only that, we're trying to, like, compensate for this-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... arch in our back a lot, 'cause now we got this big baby. So then we start pulling our back back. Then you got the hormones, the li- the laxity of the ligaments. So not only do you have no muscle, it's all this weight, and then you have ligaments that are stretching that never stretched before, because that's why we have a pelvis, is- is... and SI joints, is because it needs to open up to deliver this baby, unless you're like me and just had it cut out, so that's fine too. But... Uh, but yeah, so all of those things con- contribute to massive changes in your body and massive chaos to your- to what you- you previously knew as your back.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So then you gotta have the baby and then somehow get it all back.It's crazy.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you're giving us the roadmap to get it all back.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs) That's right.
- MRMel Robbins
We gotta take better care of ourselves, get sleep in the proper position, and lift weights to get our muscles back, and eat a lot of protein, and good nutrition.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
And give ourself grace because we can't always do it. We- we can't... It seems achievable, but a lot of days it's- it's- it's very chaotic and it's overwhelming, especially in that newborn, (laughs) that newborn phase for some of us.
- MRMel Robbins
So, what about if you had your kids decades ago, and you feel like you never got your body back? What is your message to that person?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
We usually don't just have one kid. We have one kid, and then we try to get back it, we reel it back, and then we have another one, then we have another one. So you have decades of your life where you're not- not only, like, going through pregnancy and those changes, but then you're raising a small human. You're- you're changing diapers, you're bending over, you're carrying them on your hips. And so this cycle, like, propagates itself, and then the whole, like- like, not putting ourself first 'cause we're taking care of our children. But if you are that person that you realize, "Okay, well, yeah, she's right. Like, it's now... I'm, you know, in my late 40s and I'm really... I need to make a change." That's where I was. That's exactly where I was. And you can make changes that can get back. Your body is designed for success, and so we can do things at any point that we can change the clock. So, you know, all the things that we've talked about with sustainable change, with getting your core back, none of this is like... is a do it now or it can never happen again, and that's a good thing about the human body. That's why I love it.
- MRMel Robbins
I love what you just said, "Your body is designed for success." What do you mean by that?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Your joints, your- your spine, your brain is all designed in a way to get yourself around every single day, to heal through injury. We have modern medicine that we can change even the way... We can replace body parts, we can replace organs. So, we can get ourself in a better situation through a multitude of things, uh, whether things that we do ourself, these changes that we've talked about during this episode, you know, reaching out to your physician to- to help along the way with different things. It's- it's- it's incredible. The human body is incredible.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, one of our, uh, team members,
- 1:09:13 – 1:15:03
Symptoms You Shouldn’t Ignore
- MRMel Robbins
Jessie, is seven months postpartum and she's experiencing a lot of sciatica pain.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Can you explain what sciatica pain is, and is it normal for moms in particular to experience it?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I want to normalize that pain is not normal. So-
- MRMel Robbins
Wait, hold on. Wa- wait, what?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
So, people often think that, "Oh, it's just... I just, you know, I have that pain that everybody has," or, "Well, I have that pain. My mom had that when I was pregnant." So we need to normalize that pain is not normal. That's a signal to your body to make a change. So, for example, sciatica. I mean, something is telling your brain that your leg hurts, and so we wanna figure out why that is. What is going on? Is it inflammation? Is there something, you know, irritating it? Is it pinched for some reason? Do you have a disc issue? And so just thinking that that is the normal part of being seven months postpartum, that needs to... We need to understand that that's not the case.
- MRMel Robbins
And what exactly is sciatica? 'Cause a lot of... 'Cause I've heard it a lot. I experienced it. Well, I experienced pain, but I called it sciatica, so I'm not sure that's what I experienced.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
But (laughs) what is that exactly?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Sciatica's a really common word that people throw around. It can mean a multitude of things. I've learned in my career that people will call sciatica almost everything.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Some people say, "Oh, I have sciatica," and they're pointing to their back. Well, that's not sciatica. So, sciatica comes from the sciatic nerve. It's a- it's a large nerve in our- in our body that goes from our back, joins up from several nerve segments, and then goes down our leg. So oftentimes, people describe sciatica as pain in their back that shoots down their leg. And that is... Nerve firing is how our body communicates with... our brain communicates with our body. So us just standing up from this chair or me waving my hands in this motion is my brain communicating to my muscles through nerves. And so whenever that is... can be movement, it can be sensory, and it can be pain. And that pain sensation, that pain pathway is because there's something firing in that nerve that's telling your brain that it hurts.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, while we're talking about nerve pain, I would love to dig a little deeper 'cause it can feel very mysterious when it's happening.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Like, I've had some issues with this nerve running across my elbow, and then my fingers are tingling, or you feel pinch, or, uh, like a zap of it.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So, what exactly is happening in the body when that type of nerve sensation or pain shows up?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
I think anybody that's experienced nerve pain would call it hell instead of mysterious. (laughs) So joint pain, you know, muscle might be stiff, um, you know, you might have, like, kinda intermittent pain, but nerve pain is something that is- is really something that can be life-changing. I have... I've talked about my back injury, but I've actually, a couple of years ago, injured my neck doing s- uh, surgery.
- MRMel Robbins
You're kidding.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Uh, no, no. I was in the middle of doing a case and- and herniated a disc in my neck trying to- to get something out of- out of the spine, an instrument out of the spine. Um, and yeah, it is the most excruciating pain. It's like fire in your body, but you can't put it out no matter what.
- MRMel Robbins
What is the difference between pain that's something that you can manage at home versus the type of pain that you should really go talk to a doctor about?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah, those are what we call the red flag symptoms, and those are really important to know because most back pain, we talked about, 80% of people have back pain, most back pain can be managed at home. You know, that injury that I (laughs) had where I was army crawling to my chair...I ended up managing it at home, and I did just fine. Um, so, you know, it's the- the symptoms where you might feel bowel or bladder issues, that's an automatic red flag. Can't go to the bathroom, go in the bathroom by yourself, can't feel down there, that's a medical emergency that you need to go to the ER. Um, pain that cau- shoots down the arm or leg, that's not necessarily normal. So, Jesse, experiencing that pain down her leg, that's not necessarily normal, so may wanna go talk to a doctor about that. Weakness or numbness are- are definitely signs that something is not right. So I mentioned a herniated disc in my neck, I had triceps weakness. I couldn't extend my arm. That's not normal, just need to see a doctor. And then, if you're- if you are managing your pain at home, let's say, and you're like, "Okay, I mean, it's been four or five, six weeks and my pain's not going away," you probably should go just get it checked out if it's not resolving on its own.
- MRMel Robbins
What should someone do if they feel dismissed by a doctor when it comes to their pain?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Oh, my gosh. Medical gaslighting, yes. (laughs) Man, I wish I could be in the office with every patient, because I see it happen so much, particularly in- in women and in young women, where we feel dismissed. Like, "You're too young to have back pain," or, "You shouldn't be here because you shou- can't have chest pain, and you're 20 years old." If you feel that way, you're in the wrong office. So you need to find someone else. You need someone that's going to listen to you, to believe what you're saying, and to take steps to figure it out. And if you're not getting that, you need to walk out and you need to find someone else. Don't think that any symptom that you're having should be dismissed. And if you're experiencing that, then- then know that that should not happen, and- and- and find someone that'll listen. We've all been there.
- MRMel Robbins
What do you think, out of all
- 1:15:03 – 1:18:59
How to Take Control of Your Health This Year
- MRMel Robbins
the incredible things that you've taught us today, is the most important thing that the person who's with us right now should prioritize and do to improve their health?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
The biggest thing that I would stress is to know that you're in the driver seat. You're in- you're the driver of your body, you're the driver of your life. We often get weighed in by what people think of us, or what we're being judged by, or all the extraneous things we have to do today, or our kids that we have to take to school, or the person we have to... And so it- we just become so flooded with responsibility that we don't take that on ourself. And so realizing that you're the driver of the ship and that you need to make decisions that are gonna make you happy, and then, when you are presenting yourself as your best self, then you can help others monumentally more than what you can do when you're not being the driver and you're just being the passenger on yourself. And most importantly, to know that it's okay to fail. We've all been there, we've all failed, and we pick ourselves back up. You have setbacks and you just go back at it five times harder.
- MRMel Robbins
You know, one of the things I've been wondering is, your mom, how is she? Uh, I mean, what is the- did she ever get any movement back? Like, what happened?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Yeah. She's-
- MRMel Robbins
What's her name?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Betty.
- MRMel Robbins
Betty?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Betty and Betsy. (laughs) She is, um, 65. She's still- she's my biggest social media fan. You'll find Mama in the comments section. I have to sometimes occasionally restrict her. But yeah, she's sitting- she's probably sitting at home right now listening to this and the biggest smile on her face. And she has not- never regained any movement, but, um, still completely paralyzed, but finds- really gives me inspiration because she's been like that for 30 years now, and almost has lived as much life in a wheelchair that she has before her accident. And- and she finds ways to find joy and enjoyment out of the life that- that is now hers. And I- I just admire her.
- MRMel Robbins
Watching her these last 30 years, what has her example, in terms of how she's lived her life after experiencing this devastating injury, how has that changed the way you live yours?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
It made me realize that anything can happen in a blink of an eye. She didn't get in that car that night and think that... She was a- a bodybuilder. I mean, she was, uh, incredible, best shape of her life. And to think that in one moment, that can happen. And so I just try to live my life by that philosophy, that anything could change.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
And so, what did I do today? Is that, am I enjoying life to where if it were taken away from me tomorrow that- that I've- feel fulfilled? And that's- that's all we can do.
- MRMel Robbins
Dr. Gronch, what are your parting words?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
(laughs) Find joy. Find joy, and most importantly, Mel, I've learned from you, let them, right?
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Right?
- MRMel Robbins
What do you mean?
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
Right? So, like, I- I have found being a physician, being a woman in medicine, being so, I mean, kind of like the outsider-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- BGDr. Betsy Grunch
... that so many people wanna judge you, so many people want to feel like they know you and to- to pass whatever their thoughts on you are. And- and if you let that flood you, and you don't trust your own instincts, your own behavior, your own self, then that can really overcome y- we are our own worst enemy. And so the second that you do exactly what you teach, just to realize that you can't control anyone on the outside, the only person you control is you, that is the moment where your life can change.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, you've changed my life today.
Episode duration: 1:20:52
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