You Can Change Your Brain: Neuroscientist Explains How to Rewire Your Mind & Stop Negative Thoughts

1. 0:00 – 1:04

   Welcome

   1. CLDr. Caroline Leaf0:00

      (instrumental music plays) This brain does absolutely nothing except what you tell it to do with your mind.

   2. MRMel Robbins0:06

      Dr. Caroline Leaf is a world-renowned researcher and a psychoneurobiologist. Since the early 1980s, she has been researching the mind-brain connection, the formation of memory, and she is also one of the original pioneering researchers to figure out that your brain can change. She is also the author of 18 best-selling books that have been translated into 24 languages.

   3. CLDr. Caroline Leaf0:33

      You can't change your story, but you can change what it looks like inside of you, and therefore, how it plays out into the future. The mind is 99% of who you are. It's fundamental-

   4. MRMel Robbins0:43

      Okay, now hold on. I'm wiggling my toes right now thinking my mind is in my toes right now. This is so crazy. I've never heard anybody explain it like that. I just think I got it.

   5. CLDr. Caroline Leaf0:52

      The mind and the brain, the words are used interchangeably as though they're the same thing. And the research shows that 95% of lifestyle diseases come from our thought life. So what the truth is, Mel, is that...

2. 1:04 – 13:37

   The Brain Reframe That Will Change Your Life

   1. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:04

   2. MRMel Robbins1:06

      Dr. Caroline Leaf. It is such an honor to have you here in our studios in Boston. It's a pleasure to meet you in person since I've been admiring your work from afar and watching your videos online. Thank you, thank you, thank you for hopping on a plane and being here with us.

   3. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:23

      Oh, Mel, it's an honor and a privilege. I'm one of your biggest fans and really love what you do. Thank you. It's so great to be here. I'm so excited.

   4. MRMel Robbins1:31

      Well, I'm excited to dig into your more than 35 years of research and the tools that you're going to share with us today that come from being a world-renowned psychoneurobiologist. But the way that I want to start is I would love for you to speak directly to the person who is listening to us right now who feels trapped in negative thoughts. You know, like, that their mind is just a complete mess. What would you tell that person who's listening to us right now that feels that way?

   5. CLDr. Caroline Leaf2:05

      95% of people, according to research, actually battle with negative thinking. So it's very common. It's much more common than we realize. But people are, people get stuck there because they're drawn to the imbalance that it creates. You can- you can actually, as soon as you're aware of that, you can change it. And some of the typical things that people get stuck with are things like, they feel under pressure. That they, that- that's such a, I'm so, "I feel so pressurized, I just can't do it." Black-and-white thinking is another huge one. It's this or that. Nothing's ever, life's a spectrum, nothing's ever black and white, but it really gets people stuck. Things like, "My brain won't shut up." You know, that's something that people will often say to me. "How do I switch my brain off?" That's a common statement that people make. A couple of others are things like, um, "My- my past is haunting me. How do I deal with it?" It's coming right into, it haunts, it's there, it's over me all the time.

   6. MRMel Robbins2:51

      I appreciate you sharing what you just shared because I think it's so important that, number one, that the person listening understands that they're not alone in feeling how they feel, and more importantly, number two, that there is something you can do about it, that it's based in evidence, and that based on your clinical research, it's going to work. And I would love to have you just start by telling the person who's listening what could change about their life or the life of people that they love if they really take to heart everything that you're about to teach us today and they apply it themselves.

   7. CLDr. Caroline Leaf3:29

      That's such a good question, and I think the biggest thing that I have found over the nearly 40 years I've been in this field and reached now a lot of people and 20, 25 years of clinical practice, the key thing that is so helpful and that is that your mind is not your brain. They're not the same thing, and that you can manage your mind. You can actually change your mind and change your brain. You're not stuck. I think that's absolutely key for people.

   8. MRMel Robbins3:56

      Dr. Leaf, you just said that the brain is different from the mind. What does that mean?

   9. CLDr. Caroline Leaf4:02

      Yeah, and that's the key question because when you get that, when you get that concept, it changes your life, it brings hope. We have a, we have a lot of messaging for kind of about 40 years now where we are, the mind and the brain, the words are used interchangeably, as though they're the same thing. So what the truth is, Mel, is that your brain and your body are the physical part of you. So I've got a, I've got a little brain down here. Let me grab a little brain. Okay, so this brain does absolutely nothing except what you tell it to do with your mind.

   10. MRMel Robbins4:32

       Okay, now hold on. Let me see if I can understand this because if you're watching this on YouTube, you can see that she has a little model of a brain. It looks like two chicken cutlets together.

   11. CLDr. Caroline Leaf4:45

       (laughs) It does (laughs) .

   12. MRMel Robbins4:46

       And you're basically saying that on its own, that blob right there-

   13. CLDr. Caroline Leaf4:54

       Mm-hmm.

   14. MRMel Robbins4:54

       ... that we call the brain, the physical structure does absolutely nothing on its own.

   15. CLDr. Caroline Leaf4:59

       On its own.

   16. MRMel Robbins4:59

       Okay.

   17. CLDr. Caroline Leaf5:00

       Nothing on its own.

   18. MRMel Robbins5:00

       So then what is the mind?

   19. CLDr. Caroline Leaf5:02

       So the mind is the energy force that actually drives the brain and makes it work, which is enabling us to have a conversation and part of memory and remembering what we're saying and so on because your mind is doing the work. So the easiest way to understand this is that if you die, within seconds of your heart stopping, under 20 seconds, your brain basically, that's it, and your body disintegrate. So the brain and the body disintegrate. What's the difference between a dead person and an alive person? It's actually your mind. So mind is a big word and it represents your spirit, your soul, whatever word you wanna use. It's that maleness, it's your ability to perceive what I'm saying, to think and feel and choose about that, to love, to have relationships, to the way you see the world, the way you learn knowledge, the way you perceive every moment of every day. That's mind. That mind drives your physiology. So the mind makes the brain work. It makes the genetics and the neurohormones and the neurochemistry. It makes the heart beat.If you wouldn't, didn't have a mind, your heart couldn't beat. It's your mind that's making your heart beat, that's making your lungs work, that's making you breathe. So it handles your mental aspects, your psychological aspects. It handles your neuro aspects and it handles your biological, so psycho, neuro, biological. So I'm actually a psycho-neurobiologist, looking at this relationship, this network that we have. And the interesting thing, Mel, is that the mind is 99% of who you are. It's fundamental. It's the prism through which life pros- is processed. The brain is just a host. So the mind is taking this conversation and putting a copy of it into the brain, and that then activates the brain to respond chemically and electromagnetically and genetically and, and then it wires this conversation. As we're talking, it's wiring it into the brain. The mind's doing the work. So you with your mind and your listeners, they're taking my words, which are electromagnetic impulses, taking those into the mind zone. We've got like a zone around us of electromagnetic field. It's a, it's a field of energy. It's exactly the same energy that run your phone. Okay?

   20. MRMel Robbins7:10

       Huh.

   21. CLDr. Caroline Leaf7:10

       So the thing that makes your cell phone and all elec- anything work, that's the lights, the studio lights, etc., everything, everything that works, it's electromagnetics. So but each of us has our own unique electromagnetic field. So you have yours, I have mine. We all have our own unique ones. So your mind is that thing on a physics level. I know it sounds hard. That's why I say think of a cell phone.

   22. MRMel Robbins7:32

       I actually think it makes a lot of sense. So I want to try to give it back to you.

   23. CLDr. Caroline Leaf7:35

       Yeah, yeah. Go for it.

   24. MRMel Robbins7:36

       Um, so I completely understand what you're saying, that the brain is the physical thing.

   25. CLDr. Caroline Leaf7:43

       Yeah.

   26. MRMel Robbins7:45

       The mind is the energy force.

   27. CLDr. Caroline Leaf7:48

       Yes.

   28. MRMel Robbins7:48

       And the programming. And so if you take the example of the cell phone, if the cell phone isn't charged, it's dead.

   29. CLDr. Caroline Leaf7:55

       Exactly.

   30. MRMel Robbins7:56

       Same thing with a human being. And what charges you is the energy of your mind.
3. 13:37 – 23:20

   #1 Clinical Neuroscientist Explains How to Change Your Brain

   1. MRMel Robbins13:37

   2. CLDr. Caroline Leaf13:37

      You got it, Mel.

   3. MRMel Robbins13:38

      Wow.

   4. CLDr. Caroline Leaf13:39

      Yes.

   5. MRMel Robbins13:39

      So I, I have a question about this.

   6. CLDr. Caroline Leaf13:40

      That's so good.

   7. MRMel Robbins13:41

      Because you're going to teach us-

   8. CLDr. Caroline Leaf13:43

      Yeah.

   9. MRMel Robbins13:44

      ... no matter what you've been through, no matter how messy your life is right now, no matter how scrambled your thoughts may be, no matter how stuck you think you are, you can absolutely make your mind bud and sprout completely-

   10. CLDr. Caroline Leaf14:03

       Absolutely.

   11. MRMel Robbins14:03

       ... new thoughts, completely new ways to go through life, and you have the research to prove it. When, when did you actually realize that this was possible?

   12. CLDr. Caroline Leaf14:15

       I'm, I'm 61. I trained in it back in the '80s, and in the '80s we were told that once the brain was damaged, that's it. This neuroscience lecturer was saying, "Okay, so once you've had brain damage, once you've had trauma, that's it, you gotta teach your patients to compensate." And I immediately remember putting up my hand, and now this is, eh, back in the '80s, I'm a female, it's in science, there's majority males in my class, and majority male lecturers. And there was bias. And I immediately put up my hand and I said, I wasn't trying to be difficult, but I challenged that and said, "But we constantly are changing, growing, learning, all the stuff that philosophers have spoken about for h- thousands of years, so therefore that means that our brain must change, because our brain is the host. Our brain hosts our mind. And the brain has got to change." So this professor kind of facetiously said, "Well, go do research." I thought, "Well, let me do that," and I started working with people with traumatic brain injuries and saying, "Okay, well if I can help them manage their mind, if I can help them rebuild and change how they're thinking, can that change the brain?" I took people that had severe traumatic brain injuries and-

   13. MRMel Robbins15:18

       So give me an example. Like, what, what-

   14. CLDr. Caroline Leaf15:20

       Okay, so-

   15. MRMel Robbins15:20

       ... like, what, what does a patient that has severe traumatic-

   16. CLDr. Caroline Leaf15:21

       Okay, so I'll tell you a story. Can I tell you-

   17. MRMel Robbins15:23

       Yeah, please.

   18. CLDr. Caroline Leaf15:23

       ... one of my f- most m- amazing stories that I've told f- I've been telling this story now since then and I have permission to tell it? It was one of my patients called Lee and she ... I had just started this research, and Lee was a 16 year old, um, and she had a terrible, her and her brother had a terrible car accident, she was thrown far from the car and she went into a coma. In that time, p- in the '80s, if you had a, if you were in a coma for longer than eight hours, the brain damage was considered irreversible. But these per- these parents were, "We're not gonna accept this. There's no ways that this is gonna be the case." And they said, "Look, please," and they begged me. So I said, "Okay, well if you prepare to work with me, we're gonna work together," and that's what we did. And we worked for eight months. Now-

   19. MRMel Robbins16:03

       And so you've got a, their daughter was thrown from a car.

   20. CLDr. Caroline Leaf16:07

       Yeah.

   21. MRMel Robbins16:07

       She's in a coma.

   22. CLDr. Caroline Leaf16:08

       Yeah.

   23. MRMel Robbins16:09

       She, the parents are told after eight hours there's irreversible brain damage.

   24. CLDr. Caroline Leaf16:14

       Exactly.

   25. MRMel Robbins16:15

       And I think, and, you know, like even without being a doctor, it makes sense.

   26. CLDr. Caroline Leaf16:18

       Yeah, it does.

   27. MRMel Robbins16:18

       Because you're like, okay, you've been thrown from a car, there's clearly damage, physical damage to the brain-

   28. CLDr. Caroline Leaf16:24

       Exactly, exactly.

   29. MRMel Robbins16:25

       ... and there's nothing that can be done. And now you enter, Dr. Leaf, and you're like, "Oh, no, no, no. We're gonna look at the mind, the thing that's wiggling your hands and your toes-"

   30. CLDr. Caroline Leaf16:33

       Exactly.
4. 23:20 – 40:38

   Dr. Leaf’s 5-Step Protocol to Manage Stress, Burnout, and Depression

   1. MRMel Robbins23:20

      your life.

   2. CLDr. Caroline Leaf23:20

      Y- you summarized that brilliantly.

   3. MRMel Robbins23:23

      While we're on the topic of your book, when I was reading it, I noticed that there was this whole section about how labeling a mental health issue, you know, for example, when you say, "I have anxiety, I have depression, I have PTSD," that that's actually harmful. As a neuroscientist, what do you mean by that?

   4. CLDr. Caroline Leaf23:42

      Oh, wow, I'm so glad you asked this question. The last 40 years, we've had the biomedical model, and the biomedical model basically has taken our experiences as humans and put them into, um, a diagnosis, and a label, and a treatment. Now, that works brilliantly if you have diabetes, or cardiovascular heart issues, or anything like that. It, it... that model is, is medical. It's a good model. But the mind doesn't work like that, because the mind isn't driven by the brain. So, that model is based on the fact that your brain is it, and your brain produces mind. Your brain produces nothing. Your brain is a responder-

   5. MRMel Robbins24:19

      Mmm.

   6. CLDr. Caroline Leaf24:19

      ... it's a host-... and it just does what the mind tells it to do. And if your mind keeps feeding it all the stuff like we've been describing, eventually over time, cumulatively, your body and mind break down so you become vulnerable to disease. And the research shows that 95% of lifestyle diseases come from our thought life. 95%. So that's established scientific fact. The labels of PTSD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, they all seem as though they're the same as something like diabetes, but they're not. They're not at all. The word anxiety, and we'll see this when we do the neuro cycle, and depression, those are not things. Those are emotional warning signals.

   7. MRMel Robbins24:57

      They're telling you that you're out of alignment with how you should be feeling.

   8. CLDr. Caroline Leaf24:59

      And you need to pay attention, yes. Otherwise, it's going to get worse. So you- you've gotta ... If you put your hand on the stove and it's burning, you can take all the ibuprofen in the world that you want and painkillers, but if you ... until you remove your hand from the stove, you're still gonna have your- it's gonna burn a hole through your hand. So what we're doing is toxic positivity, um, ignore- labeling, medicating. That's just trying to deal with the symptoms. What we have to do is embrace all the scariness, sadness, darkness of life, and you use that to learn and to grow. That's essentially what we need to do. So, labeling locks you in.

   9. MRMel Robbins25:34

      Mm.

   10. CLDr. Caroline Leaf25:34

       Because PTSD is not an it. It's a behavior. Depression and anxiety are not an it. They're emotional warning signals. PTSD is a behavioral warning signal.

   11. MRMel Robbins25:45

       What- what does that mean, "It's not an it?"

   12. CLDr. Caroline Leaf25:48

       Okay. So-

   13. MRMel Robbins25:48

       It's a signal.

   14. CLDr. Caroline Leaf25:49

       So it's not a fixed thing. So when you label something like diabetes, it's a- it's something wrong with your pancreas. There's insulin ... It doesn't produce enough insulin. They can do a test and they can target a medication. When it comes to PTSD, it's not the same thing. It's not some thing that you can target specifically with a medication. PTSD is a- is a big word for a bunch of reactions that we have to adverse circumstances. So whether you're in war, whether you've been raped repeatedly as a child, whether you've been in a- t- tremendous socioeconomic strain, whether you've had a bullying relationship at work. All of that is not s- ... PTSD, it's- it's- it's ... Each one is its own unique story. You can't just take that hugeness, stick it in a label and say, "Oh, your brain is broken here, let's fix it here." It's not about your brain.

   15. MRMel Robbins26:37

       What is it about?

   16. CLDr. Caroline Leaf26:38

       It's about your mind. It's about the experience. So it's about the experience that you've had. So adverse response to adverse experience is-

   17. MRMel Robbins26:45

       It makes you normal.

   18. CLDr. Caroline Leaf26:45

       ... very normal. Yes.

   19. MRMel Robbins26:47

       And it makes you healthy.

   20. CLDr. Caroline Leaf26:48

       Exactly. And that the-

   21. MRMel Robbins26:49

       And when you say mind, I wanna be very, very clear that what you're saying when you say mind is, you're saying that the experience that you had that was creating the traum- the traumatic response-

   22. CLDr. Caroline Leaf27:04

       Mm-hmm.

   23. MRMel Robbins27:05

       ... was recorded by the mind, it was programmed into the brain and the body and the nervous system.

   24. CLDr. Caroline Leaf27:11

       Yeah.

   25. MRMel Robbins27:11

       And by labeling it and by focusing on it, you make that experience stay arou- like- like what-

   26. CLDr. Caroline Leaf27:22

       Locked in. You're locking it in. It's like putting a key-

   27. MRMel Robbins27:24

       You're locking it in.

   28. CLDr. Caroline Leaf27:24

       ... and you ... And that's now ... And then you're shifting to that, and then that becomes your defining-

   29. MRMel Robbins27:28

       How do you want us to think about it? 'Cause you know, I ... You- you're a neuroscientist that has success healing traumatic brain injury and also healing other traumas in the brain and the body by beginning with the mind. So how do you want us to think about trauma, anxiety, and depression?

   30. CLDr. Caroline Leaf27:46

       Okay. So v- great question. So I want you to think about them as simply how you're showing up. As words, descriptions for how you're showing up, as opposed to diseases of the brain.
5. 40:38 – 48:53

   Use These Questions to Break Your Old Patterns

   1. MRMel Robbins40:38

      wrong." So once you've asked these four questions and you've gathered the awareness, the second step is reflect.

   2. CLDr. Caroline Leaf40:44

      Yes.

   3. MRMel Robbins40:44

      What do you do?

   4. CLDr. Caroline Leaf40:45

      So reflection, if you think of a reflection, you look at yourself in the mirror, you see a reflection of yourself. There's also the concept of a reflection of light through a prism. If you sh- shine a white light through a prism-

   5. MRMel Robbins40:54

      Mm-hmm.

   6. CLDr. Caroline Leaf40:54

      ... it comes out both-

   7. MRMel Robbins40:55

      There you go.

   8. CLDr. Caroline Leaf40:55

      Yes.

   9. MRMel Robbins40:55

      Yes.

   10. CLDr. Caroline Leaf40:55

       So there's depth and there's reflection. So you're reflecting on, "How is... How am I seeing myself w- you know, in relation to those four questions?" So you keep very organized. Don't jump all over. So you say... You reflect on, "Why am I seeing myself this way and what does it mean?" So you look in the mirror and you go deep. What... And you use the WH questions, the who, the what, the when, the where, the why, the how.

   11. MRMel Robbins41:17

       Okay. So how do I do that?

   12. CLDr. Caroline Leaf41:18

       So, "Why am I feeling like this in this moment? Why am I, why am I specifically feeling it in my stomach? Is it always in my stomach when I feel this? Um, Where, where is this happening? Is it only happening at work? Is it happening before? How often... Uh, who, who... How, how often is it happening? Is it happening every day or just now and then?" So you just start the process. You're not gonna solve it all, but it's very specific. "I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I'm reflecting back and I'm going deep. Who, when, where, what, why, how?"

   13. MRMel Robbins41:45

       Got it.

   14. CLDr. Caroline Leaf41:45

       You don't have to answer all of them, but what makes sense to, to one. Now those two, three steps, people are pretty good at the meditation, the breathing, all that stuff. Um, they're pretty good at saying how they feel. That's wh... But that's when people crash, often they crash-

   15. MRMel Robbins41:58

       Well, it's sort of like people who go to therapy for years and years and years, and just get good at talking about their problems.

   16. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:03

       But, but not-

   17. MRMel Robbins42:03

       But don't ever-

   18. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:04

       ... progress forward.

   19. MRMel Robbins42:05

       ... like move to the solution part or the attacking-

   20. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:08

       Exactly. There's no-

   21. MRMel Robbins42:09

       ... problem.

   22. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:09

       ... moving forward.

   23. MRMel Robbins42:10

       So how do we do that here? Because we're now becoming aware of the thing, the cycle that you're normally in, which is very important to separate-

   24. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:19

       Yes.

   25. MRMel Robbins42:19

       ... yourself from it.

   26. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:20

       Yes. Yes.

   27. MRMel Robbins42:20

       And you're doing it in a way where you're calm.

   28. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:22

       Very organized.

   29. MRMel Robbins42:22

       Yeah.

   30. CLDr. Caroline Leaf42:22

       Very calm, very organized for-
6. 48:53 – 54:42

   The Best Mental Hack to Stop Negativity

   1. CLDr. Caroline Leaf48:53

      this."

   2. MRMel Robbins48:53

      Now is this the recheck part?

   3. CLDr. Caroline Leaf48:54

      Recheck, step four.

   4. MRMel Robbins48:55

      Okay.

   5. CLDr. Caroline Leaf48:55

      We're gonna reconceptualize. We're gonna look at this from another angle. This is what's happened. What can we do about it now? Not forever. Not next week. Now.

   6. MRMel Robbins49:03

      Right.

   7. CLDr. Caroline Leaf49:03

      How do I get through today?

   8. MRMel Robbins49:05

      Today.

   9. CLDr. Caroline Leaf49:05

      This moment. How can I see this differently?... well, today maybe is day one, so you might just say, "Oh, I just realized that..." Because you described in absolute depth about the 13th floor right up to the 17th and the high street. That you, your realization there would be what, what I would say with your reconceptualization as you recheck this is, "Wow, it's imprinted so much on my mind. Every moment of getting to that office, to the 17th floor was pure and utter dread. And every day I just reinforced it, grew more and more in my head." Wow, that's what's happened. That's enough for the recheck for that day, just that awareness on day one. Tomorrow you can start doing some work on it. But just awareness, "Wow, that level of detail that I, attention that I paid to that process, it's linked to that dread. It's linked to, I'm in the wrong, I think I must be in the wrong place."

   10. MRMel Robbins49:52

       Mm.

   11. CLDr. Caroline Leaf49:52

       "I don't have a solution yet. I've got to go to work today. I don't have another job. I don't know if that's the solution. I don't know yet, but it's okay. It's okay to not be okay. So now what can I do?" First step, active reach. Actively reach for something that you can do to get you through the day.

   12. MRMel Robbins50:07

       What if you don't know what to do?

   13. CLDr. Caroline Leaf50:09

       Okay.

   14. MRMel Robbins50:09

       Because I think that's the thing, like when you, when you first start this-

   15. CLDr. Caroline Leaf50:12

       Yeah. That's the hard-

   16. MRMel Robbins50:13

       ... and you actually become present to what you're feeling, which is the first step, what is one thing that somebody who is starting to apply this to interrupt and to work this neurocycle, which is you actively, consciously using your mind to interrupt the negative thoughts-

   17. CLDr. Caroline Leaf50:35

       Five steps.

   18. MRMel Robbins50:35

       ... and energy in these five steps. What is one thing that you could do as an a- an example of active reach if you can't think of something?

   19. CLDr. Caroline Leaf50:46

       So, something really simple-

   20. MRMel Robbins50:47

       Yeah.

   21. CLDr. Caroline Leaf50:47

       ... is just repeat, "It's okay to be a mess. It's okay to feel like this." It's a statement, a phrase. It could be a visualization. And what you do, so it could be something as simple as, "Wow, I'm actually starting to see something. Well done." It could be a simple phrase like that. And you could imagine, if you like to visualize, you could imagine a beautiful flower.

   22. MRMel Robbins51:06

       Mm.

   23. CLDr. Caroline Leaf51:06

       And then what you do is you take the phrase, you attach it to the visual, and then as you go through the day, each time you feel the dread emerging, you, you don't, you don't, you're not suppressing, but you're gonna deal with it tomorrow. And the reason you deal with it tomorrow is because our physical brain, body, and conscious mind don't have the same level of energy as the unconscious. The unconscious has unlimited energy, but the brain-

   24. MRMel Robbins51:26

       So it's always gonna be popping stuff up.

   25. CLDr. Caroline Leaf51:28

       It's always popping. It's always popping.

   26. MRMel Robbins51:29

       And so it's always gonna keep coming up.

   27. CLDr. Caroline Leaf51:30

       Exactly.

   28. MRMel Robbins51:30

       And you're like, you can go through this and then you just literally, even if you're like, "Okay, I'm recognizing it is a good thing," or, "I'm capable of figuring this out."

   29. CLDr. Caroline Leaf51:36

       Exactly. Something-

   30. MRMel Robbins51:37

       That's, that's my favorite. I'm capable of figuring...
7. 54:42 – 1:04:02

   Reset Your Mind in 63 Seconds

   1. MRMel Robbins54:42

      uh, but there's even better news here.

   2. CLDr. Caroline Leaf54:43

      Yeah, there is.

   3. MRMel Robbins54:44

      And the better news is that based on your new clinical research and the new what is going to be mega best-selling book, Help in a Hurry, you have also established based on research that you can, in 63 seconds, stop yourself from a negative thought or emotional spiral. How so?

   4. CLDr. Caroline Leaf55:07

      Yes, okay. So it's, it's that point where you feel like you can't do too much, you're gonna, you know, just like, "I wanna, I, I wanna..." Someone says something to you, you want to punch them in the face. You can't punch them in the face, but you can get yourself back under control. The moments where, um-

   5. MRMel Robbins55:20

      Oh, I got an email yesterday that was like (gasps) . And I, I immediately felt like I was in trouble and that I'd done... Here we go again. The negative, here that, that I'd done something wrong, here's that intrusive thought again.

   6. CLDr. Caroline Leaf55:33

      Yeah.

   7. MRMel Robbins55:33

      And-It started to spiral. I felt it in my chest. I didn't know how to respond to it. I was slightly annoyed that this person felt this way about something that had happened. It was all business-related. And what do you do in that moment? 'Cause we've all had that moment where-

   8. CLDr. Caroline Leaf55:51

      Oh, all the time.

   9. MRMel Robbins55:51

      ... you literally get a text from somebody, and you're like, "Eh," and you just wanna just text back, all caps and... How do you do, how do you, how do you-

   10. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:01

       You get yourself-

   11. MRMel Robbins56:02

       ... stop yourself? Yes.

   12. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:02

       Okay. So in, in that actual moment, the first thing that you need to do is to acknowledge it. The minute that, th- the minute you say it, even if it's in your head, or you can write it, the minute it comes out, you take the power. If it's inside, it basically builds up the wrong hormones. It's like when you cry. If you, if you're in grief and you cry, you're actually taking the hormones out that if you kept them in would make the grief worse. So you're crying-

   13. MRMel Robbins56:25

       That's so beautiful.

   14. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:26

       ... after. It, it's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. So-

   15. MRMel Robbins56:27

       Okay. So I just wanna get-

   16. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:28

       ... you wanna get it-

   17. MRMel Robbins56:28

       So, so something happens, and th- here's one-

   18. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:30

       Mm-hmm.

   19. MRMel Robbins56:30

       ... that everybody can relate to.

   20. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:31

       (laughs)

   21. MRMel Robbins56:31

       You get the text.

   22. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:32

       Yeah.

   23. MRMel Robbins56:33

       "We need to talk."

   24. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:34

       Yeah. And then your heart just, like, I mean, just even that tone, all of us have had that, when, "Ah, what has just happened? Oh, no, what am I gonna do?" So it's in that moment that the first thing you're gonna do is say out loud or in your head, "This text makes me feel like this." It's the acknowledgement. It-

   25. MRMel Robbins56:50

       I have to say it out loud?

   26. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:51

       Preferably, but if you can't-

   27. MRMel Robbins56:52

       "This text freaks me out."

   28. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:53

       ... say it in your head. "This text freaks me out be- because of why?" What-

   29. MRMel Robbins56:55

       Oh, y- we need the because?

   30. CLDr. Caroline Leaf56:57

       Yes. You add the because on it.
8. 1:04:02 – 1:08:05

   The Most Powerful Truth About Your Mind, According to a Neuroscientist

   1. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:04:02

   2. MRMel Robbins1:04:02

      So, Dr. Leaf, if the person who is listening, after, I mean, the amount that you have taught us today, absolutely unbelievable.

   3. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:04:13

      (laughs)

   4. MRMel Robbins1:04:14

      Um, if the person listening does just one thing or takes one thing away from this, what would you want the most important thing to be?

   5. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:04:28

      I think there's, there's so many, but I think the, the most important thing is to realize that your mind is not your brain.

   6. MRMel Robbins1:04:33

      Mm-hmm.

   7. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:04:34

      And that your, you, your mind is the 99% of who you are, and that you can change. You can't change your story, but you can change what it looks like inside of you, and therefore how it plays out into the future.

   8. MRMel Robbins1:04:44

      Amazing. Dr. Leaf, what are your parting words?

   9. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:04:48

      You cannot control the events and circumstances of your life, but you can control your reactions to the events and circumstances.

   10. MRMel Robbins1:04:56

       Thank you, thank you, thank you, for just... This is extraordinary.

   11. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:05:02

       Thank you.

   12. MRMel Robbins1:05:03

       Uh, you have a real gift in terms of being able to explain something so insanely scientific and intellectual and complicated in a way that I can understand, the person listening can understand.

   13. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:05:19

       Thank you. Thank you.

   14. MRMel Robbins1:05:19

       I know that, uh, people are gonna share this with everybody in their life that they love and care about, um, because we all need your work in our lives.

   15. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:05:30

       Thank you.

   16. MRMel Robbins1:05:31

       And I really, really appreciate how you broke it all down. And I feel very optimistic. And like, what's super cool is I believe you. Like, I... Like, I really believe that when you understand everything that you just taught us and you truly embrace the power of what your almost 40 years of groundbreaking research has proven, that you can leverage the power of your mind and the way that it's powering your body and your brain and its capacity to literally reprogram the experience of being you. Like, how exciting is that?

   17. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:06:16

       So exciting, isn't it? Thank you for seeing what I'm trying to do and what I've been trying to do all these years and will continue to do till whenever (laughs) .

   18. MRMel Robbins1:06:24

       Well-

   19. CLDr. Caroline Leaf1:06:24

       I never stop. (laughs)

   20. MRMel Robbins1:06:25

       Uh, don't. Don't stop. And, you know, I also wanna thank you. Thank you for, for listening all the way until this moment. Thank you for really investing time into learning something that is so powerful and to really thinking about the power that you have and the beauty of your mind to heal yourself, to reprogram what it feels like to be you, to make changes. So does everybody in your life. You heard Dr. Leaf say she's teaching these techniques to, uh, kids as young as two. We all need to learn this. So thank you for sharing this with people that you care about. And I also want to just say, in case no one else tells you, that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And, you know, I don't know that I've ever felt more optimistic about it now that I truly grasp the power of what Dr. Leaf's research has proven to be true, that through the power of your mind, you can heal trauma, you can change your brain, you can change your life, and it doesn't cost a thing to actually do it. All righty. I will see you in a few days. I'll be waiting for you the moment you hit play in the very next episode. I'll see you there. I'll be waiting to welcome you in. And thank you for watching all the way to the end. Was that not extraordinary? I feel so inspired and moved. I know you do too. Thank you for sharing this with people that you care about. Thank you for hitting subscribe 'cause that's one way you can support me as I'm supporting you. And I know you're like, "Mel, what do I watch next?" I want you to check out this video. You're gonna love it. And I'll be welcoming you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there.

Episode duration: 1:08:05