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All The Adulting Skills You Were Never Taught | Erin Zammett Ruddy | Modern Wisdom Podcast 224

Erin Zammett Ruddy is an author. Life doesn't come with an instruction manual, and yet we're all meant to muddle through it anyway without setting ourselves on fire or blowing up the vacuum cleaner. Expect to learn how to wake up in the morning, how to never lose your keys, how to properly load a dishwasher, how to sit properly in your chair, how to tidy a room in 10 minutes or less and much more... Sponsor: Check out everything I use from The Protein Works at https://www.theproteinworks.com/modernwisdom/ (35% off everything with the code MODERN35) Extra Stuff: Buy The Little Book Of Life Skills - https://amzn.to/3cgQR0A Get my free Ultimate Life Hacks List to 10x your daily productivity → https://chriswillx.com/lifehacks/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #adulting #lifeskills #chriswilliamson - Listen to all episodes online. Search "Modern Wisdom" on any Podcast App or click here: iTunes: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/modern-wisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: modernwisdompodcast@gmail.com

Erin Zammett RuddyguestChris Williamsonhost
Sep 26, 202056mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 1:15

    Intro

    1. ER

      I realized that I wasn't doing these things as efficiently as possible and we all know those people who are super efficient and they just, like, plow through every task and they do it. Like, my father's one of those people. You know, when I started writing the book, I was 40 and I was like, "I have three kids, I have, like, a job, I have all these things that make me seem like an adult, but I'm still a disaster and, like, a hot mess." And I thought, "You know what? These people might be onto something," right? But I also knew that I didn't have it in me to, like, Marie Kondo my whole life, because I would dump the contents of my closet and probably leave it there for three weeks, and get a divorce. (laughs) You know, like... (laughs) So I was like, "I need little things that I can do, small little step by step things that I can implement almost without noticing, and it has a huge impact on my day and my life."

    2. CW

      (wind blowing) I'm joined by Erin Zammit Ruddy. Erin, welcome to the show.

    3. ER

      Hi, Chris. Thank you so much for having me.

    4. CW

      Thank you for being here. Are you gonna teach us how to adult today? Is this an adulting seminar?

    5. ER

      (laughs) Um, a little bit. I hope I am almost an adult. That was sort of the plan when I set out to write this book, that by- at the end, I might actually be an adult. So, I'm getting there.

    6. CW

      Yeah.

    7. ER

      At 42.

    8. CW

      (laughs) Well, there's hope for us all yet then. Um, life doesn't-

    9. ER

      Yeah.

    10. CW

      ... come with an instruction manual and upon

  2. 1:15 – 3:19

    Life doesnt come with an instruction manual

    1. CW

      reading your Little Book of Life Skills, I've realized how much of this stuff you realize kind of just emergently. It's like how to make your bed or, like, how to properly load a dishwasher and stuff like that. No one actually does teach you these things, so is it just a desire for you to seek some advice from smart people that have got the answers and then compile them for yourself, like a How To Be Erin.doc book?

    2. ER

      Yeah, I think, um, I think I did r- I realized that I wasn't doing these things as efficiently as possible and we all know those people who are super efficient and they just, like, plow through every task and they do it, like- like, my father's one of those people. And at- at, you know, when I started writing the book, I was 40 and I was like, "I have three kids, I have, like, a job, I have all these things that make me seem like an adult, but I'm still a disaster and, like, a hot mess." Like, rolling- rolling around with, like, I mean, you know, my car is a... Anyway, I'm just, like, I was a little bit of a mess and I thought, "You know what? These people might be onto something," right? But I also knew that I didn't have it in me to, like, Marie Kondo my whole life, um, because I would dump the contents of my closet and probably leave it there for three weeks and get a divorce. (laughs) You know, like... (laughs) So I was like, "I need little things that I can do, um, small little step by step things that I can implement almost without noticing," right? Like, just little things where I'm like, "Huh. This is a small thing and it has a huge impact on my day and my life." Um, and so yeah, so I was like, I- let me set out to find, um, the best experts for each of these individual tasks which, you know, range from like waking up in the morning, um, to making a great cheese board, to sending a proper email, to helping a friend through a crisis. Um, and then, you know, there's a ton of fun stuff. There's folding a fitted sheet, of course, doing laundry which I was terrible at, um, and just doing it in a way that felt like I would do it. You know what I mean? This is a book that I could read, somebody like me. Like, you don't have to go out and, like, buy a million things to try to redo your life. It's just like small little hacks, little things with big rewards.

  3. 3:19 – 4:19

    How hard is it to find an expert

    1. ER

    2. CW

      How hard is it to find a world expert in folding a fitted sheet?

    3. ER

      (laughs) Um, it... Well, you know, there's a lot of them, um, out there. There's a lot of different people and sort of what I- why I wanted everything collected in a book is because you can sit there and google, like, how to fold a fitted sheet and then you wind up with, like, 400 videos and 1,000 different instructions and then you're in a wormhole on, you know, you're on Instagram and you're in Chrissy Teigen's comments and, like, four hours later you're like, "What was I thinking?" What... You know.

    4. CW

      (laughs)

    5. ER

      And that can be fun.

    6. CW

      (laughs)

    7. ER

      Trust me. I spend quite a bit of time in the comments section on Instagram. But I just wanted something that was, like, handy and like a... And just the facts. Um, so for- for- for my laundry one, I went to somebody who started a business based on, like, sheets and bedding, and she- she has this company called Parachute Home and, um, she's pretty cool, so she was my expert for that. So it was fun. That was a fun part of writing the book, is like figuring out who the expert was, um, for each one, so.

  4. 4:19 – 7:18

    The art gallery

    1. ER

    2. CW

      A perfect example of this, I keep coming back to it a lot, to do with good podcasts is, um, going to a museum or like an art gallery. So you don't necessarily go to the art gallery because the curator of the art gallery is a good artist. You go to the art gallery because the curator is able to select people who have particular skills and talents and an ability to present something which you're gonna find interesting, and you put your faith in the curator to select it appropriately. A bit of this and a bit of that, and a bit of east and a bit of west, and a bit of modern, a bit of blah, blah. I don't know what, um, but they... You know, you- you have your faith in them and it kind of seems a little bit like, as you say, you take the- take that top filtering. You know, if you can get anywhere close to the top 5% in the world in anything, they're probably at least 50% better than you are. So like, you don't-

    3. ER

      100%. (laughs) Yeah.

    4. CW

      (laughs)

    5. ER

      Definitely. Definitely.

    6. CW

      What was the biggest hole in your adulting game before you started this book? What was the weakness? You know, like when you see your kids, they'll have like FIFA and the players will have like attack, defense, uh, speed or whatever. What were you worst at out of the sections in your book?

    7. ER

      Um, that's a really good question. I think, um, other than just like really mundane stuff like doing laundry, which my mother never taught me so that's her fault. (laughs) Um, my children will leave my house knowing how to do laundry. Um, but, uh, I would say the thing that I love most, uh, that I, that I have- I've really implemented a lot is, like, taking a deep breath, taking a beat and not plowing through everything. Um, that was something that I just felt like I needed to, like, get stuff done, get stuff done instead of like, "Okay, like, let's..."... calm down for one second and figure out the best way to do X, Y, or Z. So, I think there's a lot in the book about, um, taking a beat, just being mindful of how you're doing things, even if it's grocery shopping, right? Like, I would... There's a good example. Like, I am somebody who would maybe make a list, go into the grocery store, definitely forget the list, walk through, decide I wanted to make something different for dinner and, oh, and then, and then get home and realize that I forgot, like, half the things I went for. And like, agh, like I'm an adult, you know? Like, I shouldn't be-

    8. CW

      (laughs)

    9. ER

      That was fine when I was, like, in college and, you know, walking through the grocery store with a bag of chips and a Diet Coke and, like, but, um, it was that, that idea that, like, come on, like, that's a waste of my time then, right? Like, I got, I, I need to... And I, and we all could use more time to just, or, or, you know, just being able to do these things properly gives you a sense of, like, peace and calm and also, um, you know, it doesn't stress you out then. Like, you shouldn't, you shouldn't have to leave the grocery store, like, in a tizzy, right? So, (laughs) so that's something that I think, um, was a big hole of mine. And just, like, slowing down a little bit and doing things more mindfully, even grocery shopping.

  5. 7:18 – 11:48

    Independence

    1. CW

      It is weird that you're dependent on your parents and then you start to get your independence, maybe sort of 13, 14, you wanna maybe make breakfast for yourself and, "I want to spend time with my friends. And no, Mom, I don't need a lift after I've been at football. I'll get myself home," or whatever it might be. But then you're still perfectly allowed to not know how the oven works and, like, just all of the life skills that you really need. And then you arrive at 18 or 21, I guess, which is like the last bastion of, of some stuff to get over when you're in America, and you've still not learned them. And then you're like, "Well, it's okay. I'm 21. No one really expects me to have my stuff together." And then you get to 30, I'm 32, you get to 30 and you're like, "Okay, this is, this is quite embarrassing now." Like, why is it... So, admission that everyone that's listening will know, my mom still does my washing. I'm 32 years old and my mom still does my washing.

    2. ER

      Exactly.

    3. CW

      Um, my argument is that it's a good excuse for me to s- like, make sure that I have to see her every week and she does it better than me and, but there's part of me that thinks, "For fuck's sake, Christopher, you are three decades on this planet and you're still not doing your own washing." You know?

    4. ER

      Um, yes, I do know and I will tell you at, I'm 10 years older than you and I often will send... My, my parents live not far from me and when I have a particular tricky stain or something, my mom, because my mom loves it, she loves doing laundry.

    5. CW

      (laughs)

    6. ER

      She just does. And I will occasionally just be like, "Hey mom," like, "this says hand wash," um, I don't hand wash things. Like, "can you do it?" (laughs) So she's like-

    7. CW

      Oh yes, Erin, I would love to-

    8. ER

      I she's like-

    9. CW

      I'd love to do that, yeah.

    10. ER

      (laughs)

    11. CW

      But when are you going to become your mom? Because also, I can't do DIY. My dad, like-

    12. ER

      Hopefully never, Chris. (laughs)

    13. CW

      But you, you get, you get my point, like, there has to be a point at which you look to your kids the way your parents looked to you.

    14. ER

      Yeah. Yeah.

    15. CW

      Um, and my mom and dad's skill set, like, maybe on technology stuff they're a little bit more deficient than me, but in almost every other area of life, they wipe the floor with me.

    16. ER

      Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I, I do think that they have less, uh, distractions maybe (laughs) in our minds, you know what I mean? Um, right. So, uh, but yeah, my parents are, they, they have their stuff in order. My dad is like, he does everything the right way, you know, and he takes such pride in like whether it's rolling up a hose, you know, like he'll come over to my house and I will have just watered the garden and, um, my hose will kind of be not properly put and he's like, "Erin, oh my God, do you want me to show you how to do this?" And he takes the time to unwind the whole hose, squeeze out all the water, make sure there's no kinks and then really do it. And he just enjoys doing things properly and it's such a nice thing to see and I, I do try now, like, um, Gretchen Rubin is one of the experts in my book and she has something called the one-minute, um, rule and, um, if, if a task takes one minute or less to do, just do it, right? Whether it's answering an annoying email or winding up a hose or, um, you know, putting that dish from the sink into the dishwasher, just do it. And I'm trying really hard to do that because it does, it does feel good to do things the right way, right? So like, when you eventually do do your own laundry, like, you're gonna feel like, "Wow, I did this." You know, and I do my own laundry now. I mean, I have three children and a husband and myself and we all, like, play sports and work out and so there's, the laundry is insurmountable most days.

    17. CW

      (laughs)

    18. ER

      Um, but I do it, you know? And occasionally, I am proud of myself for actually folding it and putting it away. That's the hard part. Um, and laundry trips everybody up. There's on- there's very few people on this earth who are like, "I am, I own it." You know?

    19. CW

      Mailed laundry exactly. Laundry queen.

    20. ER

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. My expert is an amazing laundry queen. Her name's Clean Mama and she's incredible.

    21. CW

      Her name's what?

    22. ER

      Clean Mama. She has a-

    23. CW

      Clean Mama.

    24. ER

      Like, Clean Mama. She has a huge Instagram following and she believes that you should just do one load a day. Like every day, just start your day by throwing a load in and then you never have to have what I had behind me when we started this podcast, which was a mountain of laundry to put away. Um, and it just becomes part of your morning routine and that's sort of a big theme in the book is like, you know, having systems. Like, that's, that's something that I, I didn't have really.

  6. 11:48 – 13:59

    Wake Up Get Ready

    1. ER

    2. CW

      Let's get started. Chapter one, Wake Up and Get Ready for the Day. What were some of the things that got you ready for the day that changed the most? Like, getting out of bed is quite hard.

    3. ER

      So, that is one of my favorite pages in the whole book, um, and it's that idea if you're lying in bed and you just think like, "Oh, I just want to lay here a little longer," or, "I want to hit my snooze button." Um, but this expert, Dr. Breus, Michael Breus, um...

    4. ... he says you just- you have to just swing your legs over. Just get your legs over the side of the bed, plant your feet on your floor, and like, you're halfway home if you can just do that. Then you're supposed to take five deep breaths, just to like get your brain, like get the oxygen flowing to your brain. Um, and drink a full glass of water because, and this is kind of gross but interesting, you lose a liter of water in the humidity in your breath in night- in- during the night. Um, so you want to rehydrate. Um, and then this part has been huge and it's been a game changer for me, is to get outside, um, into the sunlight as quickly as you can after you wake up, like within the first 15 to 20 minutes. And that's because we have this like melatonin faucet, he calls it, in our brains, and the sunlight will stop that. And it'll wake you up and you'll feel less groggy for the rest of the day. Um, and I try to do that as often as I can. Like I did it this morning. I got up and I got outside and, um, that was huge. And part of your morning... And you know, another thing is to water your plants before the sun is really hot. So you can kind of combine the life skills. Like you don't want to be watering your plants in the middle of the day because the sun can- it'll evaporate that water and when it evaporates the water on the flowers, it can burn the flower. Um, so you want to water before it's really hot. So I combine those two life skills. I go outside to get my sunlight and stop the melatonin drip in my brain and then I also water my plants. Um, and that is just like, has been a game changer, rather than just like laying about in your bed. And like as good as that feels, we've all done it, and then don't you feel like crap the rest of the day and like your eyes are puffy and... So it's always better, as hard as it is, to just get your ass out of bed as soon as you wake up.

  7. 13:59 – 14:30

    Snooze

    1. ER

      (laughs)

    2. CW

      The best thing that I've heard about hitting the snooze button is that pressing snooze is like saying, "I hate waking up, but I'm going to do it multiple times per day."

    3. ER

      (laughs) I love that. That's so true. Exactly. Exactly. 'Cause it does. I mean, it- it's not always fun, but it's one of those things that definitely, you know, you don't regret. Like no one ever says like, "Oh, I really wish I had just hit the snooze button and laid in bed all morning and gotten up two hours later." I mean, no one ever says that. So yeah, I love that one.

  8. 14:30 – 16:02

    Smoothies

    1. ER

    2. CW

      Uh, blend the perfect smoothie. How do we make a perfect smoothie? Are you a smoothie person?

    3. ER

      Um, I am a smoothie person, and what I love about this one is, um, my expert Kathryn McCord, who has this awesome Weelicious brand, she talks about using frozen stuff as like, it's just better than fresh. Like a lot of times it means you can get really good organic frozen berries like in the middle of winter. And not to be afraid of frozen, right? Like you think, "Oh, I have to have all this fresh stuff." Um, I love she has this one hack of using frozen cauliflower in, um, in her smoothies and it's because it has like really good protein and it doesn't change the taste of the smoothie at all and it cr- makes it creamy. Um, so it gives it like a nice consistency, which I think is great. Um, she also talks about using like little extras like collagen peptides, um, which is really good for our skin, um, and our nails and our hair. Um, but just this idea of she talks about a smoothie being like meditation in the morning. Like it helps you set your intention for the day. So if you start your day with a smoothie, even if you're going to wind up eating, you know, fried chicken later, like you started your day with a smoothie, right? But if you start your day with a smoothie, you also kind of feel like, "All right, like I- I just had like, you know, five servings of fruits and vegetables." Um, but I love that. I l- love her and I love like trying to start my day with a smoothie 'cause you know, you never know where it's going to go from there, but at least you started your day with a smoothie, right?

  9. 16:02 – 18:49

    Leaving the house

    1. CW

      You've got, um, Laura Vanderkam, past Modern Wisdom, uh, guest, the Happyologist. She was phenomenal when she came on.

    2. ER

      Yeah. (laughs)

    3. CW

      So how do we get out of the door in the morning calmly and without forgetting anything?

    4. ER

      Um, let me look at that chapter 'cause that's a tough one for me. The funniest thing is after Laura and I spoke, and she's a- she's a friend, I've worked with her for many years and I adore her. Um, we did our interview and then I got in the car to take- to go somewhere and I was like sitting in my car and I was like, "Oh wait, I don't have my keys or my wallet." Like and I was like- I was like, "Oh shoot." Like I... So, um, clearly I'm a work in progress. Um, but I think this one is so important and it's- there's no like great secret. It's basically just put shit where it belongs and leave it th- Like always have your things where they need to be, right? So if you're leaving the house, you know that your wallet is always here and you know that the umbrellas are in this spot and you know that- You know, so you're not in a tizzy saying, "Oh yeah, where are my shoes or where is this or where is that?" So giving everything a home is really important and then taking, again, taking that time to put everything back in its home. And it's just that like closing that loop makes such a difference because I think part of what makes it so hard to get out the door in the morning is that we don't know where anything is, right? We're suddenly like, "Ah," like, "Where is this? Where's that?" But if it's always in the same place and you've designated this place and you've told everyone who lives in your home where these things are and where they belong and help them put them back there, then you always n- know where things go, right? And the other thing that she says is, and I love this, I'm just going to read it. "The space between putting on your shoes and backing out of your driveway is not zero. So many people think it is and that's why they're five minutes late everywhere." You know, we like... I'm often late because I think like, "Oh, I have to... I- it takes me 10 minutes to get there so I'm going to leave here 10 minutes before I have to be there and walk out." But like, you know, and- and you always like walk outside and you realize you, you know, you see something at a pick up or whatever. Um, so leaving five minutes early is like definitely key. And then in terms of forgetting something, which I love, if there's, you know, say you packed leftovers for lunch the next day.... put something that you don't want to forget with that, you know. Like put your keys or put your keys in the fridge next to your leftovers, right? Because if you took the time to pack up your leftovers and you wanted to bring lunch so that you're not buying crap or whatever, and in the morning, "Oh, wait, where are my keys? Oh, yeah, they're in the refrigerator." (laughs) Or you could make a note, you know, you could make a note to yourself, but like putting things together. Um, and yeah, I just, I- I- I love her and I- I love those ideas, but it's, again, it's just having a home for things and putting things back away, which is, trips everybody up. But...

  10. 18:49 – 20:56

    Closing the loop

    1. ER

    2. CW

      Closing the loop is really important. Like the Zeigarnic effect is one hell of a drug, man. If you leave that open loop for the rest of the day, there's just ambient anxiety just pervading the source code of whatever you're doing with the day. So yeah. I'm, I'm all a part of that. I've lost three sets of keys in the last 18 months. Um, and I have to change my front door lock today or tomorrow, um, and I couldn't even get out of my own house. So I lost my keys, but my two housemates didn't, so I've been using my own backdoor to get in and out of my house because I couldn't... So I mean, that's- that's a, uh, I just need to read. I need to ring Laura and say-

    3. ER

      Yeah.

    4. CW

      ... "Hi Laura. Look, can you please, for the love of Christ, can you help me?" Uh, how about sitting properly in your chair? "Sitting is the new smoking," Kelly Starrett says. So let's try and restrict how much damage we're doing.

    5. ER

      Oh, um, I love that. Um, sitting, yeah, sitting is- is an interesting one. Um, I love what my expert says here, which is in order to sit properly, you have to stand properly first. So you actually have to, like, get up and it's like stacking, um, it's like stacking blocks. So you get your feet kind of planted properly, and then you want your hips over your feet, and then your, you know, it's sort of like if you do, like, yoga or think about those things, and then your shoulders over that, sitting back, and then you sit down. Um, but if you think about it, and I'm not sitting properly right now. And that's the other thing that he says. He, I was like, you know, you're gonna forget throughout the day, right? But if even a few times a day you readjust and you kind of, like, sit there and, you know, pull the thing up from your head and sit like that. But it's really about thinking of your body like stacking blocks, and your feet, then your knees over your feet, then your hips over that, and then sit down and try to, like, hold it. And core, having the core muscles helps. Um, you know, our cores are all have taken a hit during quarantine, but, um, (laughs) at least my ass, but having core muscles helps and just kind of like keeping them engaged throughout the day so that you're not slouched over. The idea is not to slouch over constantly or even like that, you know? So I love that one too.

    6. CW

      It

  11. 20:56 – 22:55

    Make your point heard

    1. CW

      is becoming conscious of your posture. And you're right. You're not going to sit with that perfect Buddhist meditation crossed-legged lotus bullshit all day. But every time that you notice, "Uh, no, hang on, I'm not- I'm not sat up straight." So if you're listening to this and you're sat down somewhere, check your posture right now, please. Sit up straight. We are not- we are not a community of people who have slouchy backs. This is a- an upright, well-postured podcast audience (laughs) we got going on here.

    2. ER

      (laughs)

    3. CW

      Uh, make your point heard. How do you make your point heard?

    4. ER

      Oh, um, that is another, um, another really good one. The part of this that I found so interesting, um, my expert talks about having a point first, and so few of us actually do. We're just, you know, we're just talking to talk or we don't know what our point is. So making your point heard, the first step is making sure you have a point. Um, and yeah, I mean, who knew, right? Um, and he talks about getting in and getting out, right? Like, don't- don't use, um, something called badjectives where you're just like, "Oh, this is a great idea. It's excellent. It's awesome. It's amazing." Like, those are all good things to describe something, like you wouldn't- you would want to be affiliated with something that's awesome and excellent and amazing, but it's not really saying anything, right? And you're just kind of like filling the air. Um, and people... And also, um, when you're making your point, once you've made your point, like, just try not to just keep going because people remember what you've said at the end of, you know, um, they're gonna remember like the last few bits of things you've said, right? So it's like that idea of let it lie, let it sit there, let it land, don't fill the air. It's so- we're so tempted to, um, like I'm doing right now. (laughs)

    5. CW

      It's- it's

  12. 22:55 – 26:32

    Dont say something

    1. CW

      a- a big confidence thing, and I've noticed it in myself especially upon doing the show. Um, anyone that goes back and listens to, like, episode one or any of the first 50, which I can almost not bear to hear, I don't have the confidence to finish a question with a blunt point. I say a thing. It's like setting off a firework. I set off the firework and then it goes bang and then goes like (makes falling sound) and makes this sort of weird, there's just, "So it's this, this, this thing, isn't it? Do you not think about that?" And it's like, "What- what was that? What was that? You asked a question." Like, just fucking leave it. You don't need to say it, you don't need this weird, like, post-coital pillow talk after you've asked the question. Like, just say the thing. So I- I- I totally, totally get that. And obviously as well, having a point. Like, a lot of people want to feel like they need to contribute. Everyone that's been on Zoom this summer knows what that's like. "I can't- I can't leave this conference call without saying something." No, you, if you have nothing to say, you absolutely can leave this Zoom call. Don't say anything. Like, saying something which means nothing is worse than not saying anything at all. Absolutely. So I'm- I'm all in. Joel, your- your expert for that is, uh, um-

    2. ER

      Joel Schwartzberg. Joel Schwartzberg. He's incredible. And, um, yeah. And we- we often dilute our points to- to what you were saying. Like, we dilute them by saying things because people remember the last thing you said. So- (laughs)

    3. CW

      Zip it, zip it. Um, Organize Your Workday from, uh, Nicole Lapin, who I seem to recognize her name. I'm not too sure why.

    4. ER

      Um, she is amazing. She's written a bunch of books. She's very cool. Um, and this one, I love what she says about, um, procrastinating. She's like, "You have to procrastinate." Like it's, we, we all... It gets a bad rap, um, but look at your work day and say, "What do I really have to do today? Do I, do I need to do these things?" Because if you can push them off to tomorrow or even later, it frees you up to do the things that you really have to do today. Um, and I like that idea of, um, you know, things that aren't time sensitive, push them off. Um, she also talks about Mark Twain and like Eat the Frog. The idea of like, you know, if you have to eat a frog, it's best to eat it first thing in the morning, and if you have to eat two, it's best to eat the biggest one first, right? So, just do the hard things e- early in the day when you have the energy. And also like noticing when you have... We all have different rhythms, but like a lot of us are most focused in the morning. Um, a lot of us feel kind of draggy in the afternoon, um, and also, which I love too, is like often people will put meetings on their calendar for 30 minutes, 45 minutes or an hour, but if a meeting's only gonna take like 12 minutes, like just you don't need to fill the rest of that time with chitchat or what people are watching on Netflix or, you know, whatever it may be. Now we're doing so many Zoom calls, it's very different, but she also talks about like walking meetings, you know, like can it, can it be solved in a phone call? Like do we really need to sit in this conference room and get our snacks and go to the bathroom and... You know, there's so much wasted time throughout the day. Um, but I think, you know, organizing, organizing your workday that benefits your own cycle is really, um, it- it's huge and it's something that I've, like, learned, like if I can get up and get emails out, like before, you know, nine o'clock in the morning, if I can send 10 emails or whatever, I'm feel like amazing. I feel like Superwoman. (laughs)

    5. CW

      Yeah.

    6. ER

      But if I don't then it's like...

  13. 26:32 – 29:03

    Email

    1. ER

      (snaps fingers)

    2. CW

      That leads nicely into s- how to stay on top of your email inbox. Everyone this summer will have had to play the hugely upregulated email communication game. So what's the best solution for staying on top of emails?

    3. ER

      Um, this one's sort of like staying on top of the power curve, right? Like, not getting behind so you have 15 emails to respond to the second you wake up. So just, uh, my expert there is Justin Kerr. He's fantastic and he talks about just finding little snippets throughout your day, in between a meeting, while, you know, someone's dealing with technical difficulties on a Zoom, like and fire off an email. Get it out of your inbox, you know? Um, but I think the most important thing that he talked to me about is writing a proper email.

    4. CW

      Mm-hmm.

    5. ER

      And he says the reason so many people work late and too many hours is because they don't know how to write an email. (laughs) And he said, "You should start with your conclusion." Um, then say, you know, we're taught in school like intro, then supporting evidence, then our conclusion. Um, no like frilly like, "Hey, how are you? It's like so you..." nah, nah, all that kind of stuff, like get right to the point. Um, use white space, use bullet points, use bolding, um, and remember that people are often gonna be... We might write it on our big laptop, but people are often gonna be looking at it on their little device. And so a subject line that is to the point, I think like seven words or less, so that it doesn't go over, you know, what you can read. Um, and reply all, which is like the death of everybody, right? In our email inboxes. Like nobody likes reply all. So I said to him, I was like, "Oh, cool." So then... Because sometimes I won't reply all, I'll just like side text the person or I'll email just the person back. But he said, "You actually do want to reply all." If you're put on a, on a message, you do want to reply all because then everyone else is going to sit around and say like, "Oh, Chris didn't, Chris didn't chime in here. Like, I wonder what... Oh, is he... What, what, you know, what's his deal? What's he going to do?" And then you're kind of making other people waste time. Um, but that said, if you're the sender of the email, think long and hard who you have to CC. Like only people that need to be on that email should be on that email. And if something is going back and forth like way too many times, take it offline. Like pick up the phone, walk to the person's desk. Um, don't let it go on and on and on. Um, but I like that idea of just finding like tiny pockets of productivity throughout the day and firing off some emails.

  14. 29:03 – 32:00

    Passwords

    1. CW

      Uh, I, today I was on my way to a physiotherapy session in an Uber, and I did, I went from maybe 15 emails to inbox zero in like 20 minutes. You know?

    2. ER

      Mm-hmm.

    3. CW

      Like I, I got nothing else to do. I'm sat in the back of this Uber. I don't know whether you guys have it in America at the moment, but in the UK it's plastic screens in between the driver and me. So I'm like, I can't even... I, I like a, I like a, a silent Uber driver. I love a, a nice silent taxi ride. Um, so I got a Ben Shapiro podcast in my ears, and before I know it, I'm like, I- I've just done something that would have taken me 20 minutes of home time and I've done it on the way to physio. So yeah, I'm, I'm all in for that. This one really intrigues me. Create secure passwords that you'll actually remember. Like, this is one of the most challenging things, even with a password manager. Like, 'cause you, the challenge with a password manager, like OnePass or LastPass, um, is that every so often you'll be on a device where you don't have access to that thing, and if you can't remember... Yeah, it's great to have a repository of them that are kept safe somewhere. If you can't remember it, there's this low level anxiety that's like, "What if I get logged out?" Or, "What if I lose my, the access to my password manager? Like, I'm, I'm... uh, that's got my life in it." And then you have a breakdown.

    4. ER

      Yeah. Um, I, I love this one too. I thought it was so interesting. Um-... coming up with one base password that you use for everything. Um, one phrase, one word, whatever it is, and making that kind of like, um, there's the, there's things, you shouldn't be able to find it in a dictionary, it should contain special characters and numbers, um, a mix of uppercase and lowercase, at least 10 characters, um, and it, and it can't be, you know, guessed based on who you are, you know, not a birthday or whatever. So once you come up with that, like say it's Password and it's always with a capital P and, you know, an exclamation, whatever it is, and you have to remember, you have to just remember that. It could mean something meaningful to you. We all have one, right? Like I have one that I, that I know. And then you just, they talk about just tailoring it so if you're getting on, I don't know, what do people get on? Like eBay, you would do Password at the end, eBay. Um, Password, you know, Target. Password, uh, Zoom. Whatever it is. Like so you, so whatever you're logging into, you're gonna use that same base password and just the little exchange for whatever it is that you're logging into. So you're only really having to remember the base password because I have a different password for everything. It, I, I swear I think it takes up, like, hours of my week having to reset my password for everything. But if you can come up with one really solid password that you use for everything and then you just tweak the end of it, you know, for whether it's whatever you're logging into and you know that that's what you're gonna have at the end, um, and it really, I mean, it works. It's pretty cool. But you do still have to remember that one base password, so you've got to think of a

  15. 32:00 – 36:36

    Decluttering

    1. ER

      good one.

    2. CW

      Yeah. No. I, I agree. It's, um, passwords are such a... I, I think that password managers have got it a- about right, but it doesn't feel like as seamless of an experience as it should do, so there's, there's definitely some work to be done with that. It's the same as Apple's iWatch or the Apple Watch or whatever. It's all right, but it's not quite there, so I'm excited for, like, password managers in five years time. That's what... I wanna be-

    3. ER

      Right.

    4. CW

      ... I wanna be in that world. Um, what about getting organized at home? Like I-

    5. ER

      Mm-hmm.

    6. CW

      I'm pretty good at decluttering, I think, but it's something that can mount up pretty quickly. So is there a, is there a scientific method to decluttering or is there something else-

    7. ER

      Mm-hmm.

    8. CW

      ... some sort of formalized process?

    9. ER

      Um, well, I think yes, there is (laughs) . Um, one thing I, I, that I love that several experts mention is setting timers for some of this stuff. So I think we put off a lot of decluttering or cleaning or whatever because we think it's gotta be some really long marathon cleaning session, right? But if we just, say our junk drawer, for example, we all have that junk drawer that's just piled with, like... can barely open it, right? If you, say, set your timer for 15 minutes, um, and my junk drawer expert is Shira Gill. Um, she's out in San Francisco. She's awesome, and she has these 15-minute wins and you just dump the thing, you sort it out, and 90% of what's in a junk drawer is junk or doesn't belong there, right? It has another home, so going back to that idea of Laura Vanderkam's of putting things in a home, having a home for things. So you can quickly sort through and get rid of, like, the, the marker that doesn't work and the, you know, the old Band-Aid or... I, I mean, I don't even know what's in mine. Masks, like, s- all sorts of weird stuff. And put it where it belongs, right? Throw the rest of the crap out, 'cause most of it's junk, and get a couple dividers, put things back in there. And she talks about rebranding the junk drawer as, not calling it that, calling it a utility drawer, um, and using it as your own personal general store, so curating the things that are in there. So you might want a little screwdriver, a little hammer, um, some Band-Aids, whatever it is. Um, but rethinking it a little bit. Uh, and I love, I love that one, and I have used that one for sure. Um, and then Peter Walsh, um, is my decluttering guy. He's fantastic. He's so cool. And he talks about when we're looking at our stuff we have to not, we have to think it's about us, right? It's not about the stuff. It's about us. So we might look at something and say like, "Oh, I, of course I have to keep X, Y, or Z because of what..." It's like, no, you don't. You don't have to keep anything, really. Like you have to really kind of look at yourself and say, "Wh- why do I want this thing? Why do I need to keep this thing?" And he talks about two kinds of clutter, and one is memory clutter that we hang onto like an old trophy or a, an award or a pen that we got from a job and, or a trinket our mom brought us back from Spain or whatever it is. Um, and we hold onto that stuff because we feel like it connects us to that person or, you know, I, I had this little thing that my mom brought back for me from Alaska and I, I couldn't keep it any... It was just kind of in the way. It was just a little, I don't even know what it was. I'm sure she got it at the airport. And I felt terrible. I love my mother. I didn't want to throw it out or donate it, but it was driving me crazy and it was always in the way. It had no place in my house. Anyway, don't tell my mother, but I got rid of it finally after talking to Peter Walsh. But then this other type of clutter is, um, "I'll use it one day" clutter, right? Like all the things we keep for some, like, imagined future, right? So could be, like, skinny jeans that we may never fit into again or, um, you know, a random piece of lumber that we think we're gonna, like, suddenly turn into, like, a cool cheese board. Like, m- my dad saves scrap. Like, he'll be at my house doing something and he's like, "Well, you can't throw that out, Erin." I'm like, "It's a half a brick. I mean, what am I..." He's like, "Well, you might need it to..." You know what I mean? Like, it's like, "No, that's clutter. I don't need that." Um, and so if your clutter causes you anxiety, if it's, if you're hanging onto it and it's causing you anxiety, just get rid of it. And I think that's what's, was so interesting with him is, like, it's not just about keeping your house clean and, and getting rid of stuff. It's really about, like, looking inside and figuring out what you want for a space. You know, is it supposed to be a really zen room? Is it supposed to be a creative space? And thinking about what you're gonna get out of it instead of what you're gonna put into the room in terms of, like, pillows and curtains and an ottoman, you know. So th- that's changed my approach, and now I can, like, ruthlessly throw stuff out of my house.

  16. 36:36 – 41:52

    Making chores easier

    1. CW

      ... there's people out there who live this minimalist movement that's kind of quite big at the moment, where I think the- one of the approaches is to have 40 items. Like 40 possessions, and that includes clothes. Um, and like Elon Musk just sold all of his possessions 'cause he thinks they're an attack vector. Uh, like James Altucher, who's also been on this show, um, he lives out of- literally lives out of a suitcase. Sold all his houses, just rents places now. Picks up a suitcase and like unbelie- like, you know, there's some smart people. So I think, you know, if James Altucher and Elon Musk can do it, then there's maybe a little bit of hope for us as well. All right, let's get into this is like the meat for me, make chores easier. This is kind of- this is real adulting here. How- first off, how do you load and unload the dishwasher, and secondly, why did you have a different expert for loading it and a different expert for emptying it? Did- were- were they specialized? Is- is it- is it that how specialized dishwasher technique has become?

    2. ER

      (laughs) Um, I guess so. Um, I- I had Consumer Reports do how to load a dishwasher, and they're like this organization in the US that like, you know, tests out products. Like they test it out, I think, um, I think they test something like, let me see, like 300 dishwashers, and they send like hundreds of thousands of things through it during the year, and coming up with what works and what doesn't, and what- do you have to rinse it first or do you not have to rinse it first. Um, and so I used them for how to load a dishwasher, and loading a dishwasher, and a lot of us in quarantine who share homes with, you know, friends or spouses or whatever, um, have learned that everyone has a different way to load a dishwasher, right? And I mean, I- this morning, our dishwasher didn't- didn't run last night. A glitch. And so I woke up like, dishwasher was full. But I took that- my husband loaded the dishwasher last night. But I took that opportunity this morning. I was like, "Wow, there's like potatoes on forks," and like act- like, like the smoothie glass was like caked with smoothie. Like there's no way that was gonna get clean, right? So I had to take it out and re-rinse it. Um, but it's all about like loading things in a way that it's going to actually maximize getting it clean, right? So you're not supposed to put dishes, um, touching really. You don't want- that can create watermarks. Um, you want your glasses on the top, uh, your plates on the bottom. You know, you don't want to put things kind of willy-nilly. And with- with, um- with your utensils, you obviously want to put the forks- with the fork up. You probably know that, right? Knives down. Um, and not putting- I always thought you should put- like you could put all your forks together, all your spoons together. But you don't want to do that 'cause they can nest, you know. Like they can wind up next to each other. Like your spoons could spoon, you know? And then they won't get clean. Um, so you actually do want to kind of mix it up a little bit, um, which I think is really, uh, was kind of interesting. Um, and then, you know, just kind of knowing your machine. But for emptying the dishwasher, I loved my- I love my expert. Name's Rachel Hoffman. She- you should totally check her out. She has this movement called Unfuck Your Habitat, um, and it's basically like for people who don't really like to clean, but you- we all have to do it, right? And so she has all of these great little hacks. Um, and her- this- the first step for emptying the dishwasher is ask yourself what you're gonna do with the next four minutes of your life. Like are you gonna cure cancer? Like if you're not, you should probably just empty your freaking dishwasher and get it over with, right? Because it'll hang over your head all day, and then you wind up just using it as like a cabinet, right? You walk by and you're like, "Oh, now I need a bowl," and like that is so not adulting at all. Meanwhile, the- the sink is filling up, right? I mean, we've all done it. We all do it. Um, so just like- and she says, again, set a timer and you'll realize it doesn't take that long. And then with that, and I love this, it's just take all the plates out and put them right on the counter next to the thing. Take all the bowls out. Like get everything kind of stacked neatly, and then take it to the cabinet rather than going back and forth and like, like I could- I had no system before this, and now I kind of look at it. But the other thing that I learned, and I didn't know this, is you're supposed to empty the bottom rack first. Always pull out the bottom rack first. And it's because the top rack often has glasses that- or bowls that can flip and they have the gross dishwasher water on it, right? And so you open the top rack and all that water sloshes out and gets on your clean plates. And I always used to find myself like frustrated while I was opening the- I didn't even realize why, but it was because like, ugh, this dirty water. But then if you have the bottom emptied, pull out the top rack, you can just dump it, have a dishrag, dry it off, and put it away. Um, so that's one that- that I- I think is kind of cool, and Rachel Hoffman's awesome. But it's really just about like just do it. You know? Like do your future self a favor and get it done, right? And I- I don't always do it, but

  17. 41:52 – 45:00

    Washing

    1. ER

      I try.

    2. CW

      I get it. Right. My mom's gonna kill me if I don't ask this one. How do you do the washing?

    3. ER

      Oh. Um, well, that one, again, we talked about Clean Mama, and she's fantastic. Um, but she wants you to just choose one load a day. Like do your darks or do your sports clothes or do your delicates. Um, so that way you feel like you're conquering like one thing a- a day and you're getting it done. Um, don't overstuff the wash or the dryer. So many of us do that. You should be able to put your hand in and kind of like move it around, um, because if we, you know, if you put too many things in the wash, it's gonna- they're not gonna get clean. Same with the dryer. Um, and I think one of the most important things for me and for a lot of people I know is forgetting that you put something in the wash.... and not moving it to the dryer. So, and then it's like, ugh, what do you do? You have to rewash it, it's gonna be gross. So setting a timer if you have to, so that you know to go back and get your washing and put it into the dryer, um, is kind of important. And I love, like, she talks about using baking soda as a hack if you have, like, really kind of, like, stinky stuff or odor, like, things that are not coming clean. Um, and just using that in the wash, um, before, using some of that right in the drum, washing it, and then washing it again with your detergent. Um, and not using, not using, um, fabric softener or dryer sheets or any of that kind of stuff, because it really, like, breaks down the, the clothing. Um, but yeah, so I mean, it's like, again, it's taking a little bit of time, shaking the stuff out, putting it in there. When you're doing, um, sheets and towels, you shouldn't put your sheets and towels together, um, because they're different, completely different materials, right? Um, and you should always, like, often in the dryer, you wouldn't know this, Chris, but your mom knows, like the, the, the sheets get, like, wound up in the dryer, right? And you take them out of the dryer and they are twisted and weird and then they're not quite dry. So she says you just pop open the thing halfway through and kind of, like, do that with your hands, and then w- then it's done. You come out and you have dry clothes rather than things that are wound up into balls. Um, so that is kind of good, but it's really, I mean, doing the laundry, uh, uh, for most people, what trips them up is putting it away. You know, it's actually like, again, closing that loop. Like, you have the clean basket of laundry, now just quickly fold it and put it away. And that's about, like, put on music, put on a podcast, put on Netflix, make it more pleasurable, like make it something you want to do, like, you know? I, I have a lot of friends who only allow themselves to watch, like, Below Deck on Bravo or whatever it is, like some silly show if they're doing laundry, right? So, um, then it becomes something you can, like, look forward to. (laughs)

    4. CW

      If I had to watch Below Deck whilst I was doing laundry, the laundry would be done in three minutes flat because I absolutely hate that TV show.

    5. ER

      (laughs)

    6. CW

      Um, uh, if you're doing your laundry while you're listening to this as well, drop me a DM because that would be really funny. Send me a photo of your laundry and I'll be able to pass it on, be able to pass it on to Erin and say, "Look, we helped some people through their laundry."

  18. 45:00 – 47:39

    Tidying

    1. CW

      Um, how do you tidy a room in ten minutes or less? 'Cause that sounds, that sounds like the sort of thing that I want in my life.

    2. ER

      Um, okay, tidying a room in ten minutes or less, you, first, you wanna set a timer so that, again, um, it's something you feel like anyone can use ten minutes, right? Anyone can spare ten minutes to do it. Um, and you wanna look for the things that will smell first, so, like, dirty dishes, garbage, laundry, um, and take, take those to the places where they belong. Um, and you wanna look at flat surfaces and clean flat surfaces first. So, like, your desk, or your dresser, or a countertop. And it's just because visually we, our eyes go there and if we see a lot of, like, crap on a counter, it just kind of stresses us out, right? And then you feel like, "Oh, well, if that's a mess I may as well just throw more." Like, mess begets mess. Um, and so cleaning one surface, and then, and this is Rachel Hoffman again from Unfuck Your Habitat, and she says then leave the room and then come back in and look at it, and the first thing that catches your eye in a, in a bad way, just deal with it. Just go do it. You know? Like, um, out of the corner of my eye I see, I have a Peloton bike and I have two pillow shams that have been drying on it for longer than I care to admit, which means I haven't been on the Peloton in a few days. But it's been bother- it bothers me, you know, subconsciously at some, at a certain point, but still, it's like, I, I have two pillows on my bed that I could easily put them on. So when we hang up, I'm gonna go do that.

    3. CW

      (laughs)

    4. ER

      In honor of tidying my room, because it is, it just starts to, like, frustrate you. But, and then you can always do, add another ten minutes. If you've done really well, you can just be like, "Okay, that was easy. I'm gonna do ten more minutes." Um, because you can realize that, like, these things don't have to be... I think that's why a lot of people avoid laundry or avoid cleaning, because you think, "Oh, it's gonna take me all day. Like, I need to get in the right headspace and I need to, like, put on my cute outfit and, like, my work, my work stuff, or whatever." Like, that's how I used to be. Instead of just doing it, I would, like, put it on my to-do list and be like, "Okay, I'm gonna make a cup of coffee and then I'm gonna do it." It's like, no, just bang it out, get it done, move on.

    5. CW

      One, one of the main reasons that people procrastinate is that they have a lack of information, i.e. they don't know how to do something, um, that, or that what they're doing, um, requires more information than they've got, so they need to ask someone how to hang up a picture or fold the laundry or do whatever. Um, but hopefully if people have managed to glean some of the skills that we've given them today, that they'll, the getting over that inertia to go do the task, it's not as daunting.

  19. 47:39 – 56:15

    Prepping for Dinner

    1. CW

      When you, when you know the answer to the question, answering the question becomes quite easy. So hopefully we'll have helped people to get past some of that inertia today. How about prepping for cooking dinner? Like, cooking dinner is always gonna be a little bit different based on what you eat, but preparing for cooking dinner seems pretty ubiquitous. How do you do that?

    2. ER

      Um, it does, and this is Rachael Ray who's, you know, a big, big chef here in the US and I'm sure you guys have heard of her as well. She's a big deal. She has a, a show and she's does these, like, 30-minute meals, so she's, like, the perfect person for prep for cooking dinner. Um, and she talks about always mentally running through what you're gonna make, no matter what it is. Um, so walking yourself through the recipe from beginning to end, because so often we'll get to the end of the recipe and realize, oh, we don't have, you know, cream or whatever it is, right? So, and that's where the, a lot of that angst and frustration can come from. So get yourself through that. Relax. Pour a cup of coffee, pour a glass of wine, pour a cup of tea, um...... put on a TV show you really like. Make it so it's a pleasurable experience. Like, prepping for dinner shouldn't be, like, just churning stuff out and not really thinking about it. It should be something-

    3. CW

      Yeah.

    4. ER

      ... that you enjoy so that you want to do it again, right? Um, and then getting everything out, getting everything out that you're going to need. So that way, you're not, like, dredging chicken, you have raw chicken on your hands, and then you have to go into the refrigerator, right? We've all been there. And then you have, like, a gross handprint on your refrigerator door, and you're like ... Yeah, finding all the pots and pans, setting it up. This doesn't take long either. And she ha- she uses something called a garbage bowl, which I love, and just putting a big bowl out where you're prepping. And rather than having to go back and forth to the garbage can, you just use that for your scraps. Like, whatever vegetables you're chopping, put it, like, put the, all the garbage in your garbage bowl, and you can empty that as you go, but then you're not walking back and forth. And she really talks about wha- you want to be... You don't want to move around a lot when you're prepping for dinner. You really should just be in one spot. So it's getting a big cutting board, getting your garbage bowl, having all your pots and pans out, having all your vegetables ready to chop or whatever you're making in the order that you're going to do it. Um, whatever's going to take the longest, you start there, um, and just, like, trying to enjoy the process a little bit, and that's what a lot of this is about. It's not like that we're, we want to rush through all of these mundane tasks so that we have more time to, you know, watch TV. Um, it's- it's learning how to do these things properly and taking our time with them, because this is life, right? Our- our days are made up with sending emails, and prepping for dinner, and tidying our rooms, and doing a load of laundry, and if we can do those things with a little bit more confidence and, um, skill, then we can kind of feel good and have these little wins throughout our day. And at the- at the very least, they're not gonna, you're not gonna be frustrated and start cursing while you're emptying the dishwasher because you just dumped dirty water all over it. You know what I mean? So, um, it's this idea of just setting yourself up, taking a beat to, like, set yourself up to do the thing properly.

    5. CW

      I really like that. I like the fact that you identify that life really is made up of these little things. It might look on Instagram like there are some people out there who are just constantly in Santorini, like, having cocktails, but even they need to change the kid's nappy, and they need to go to the bathroom, and, "Oh, I've got to dry my hair," and, you know, there is a laundry list of shit that everyone needs to do each day. And if you can work out the right way to do it, the most optimal way to do it, I think your dad's quote was something like, um, "Do it right first time." And you can't do it right first time if you don't know how to do it, but if you do know how to do it, the task actually becomes super easy. You don't need any more information. You don't need any more utensils because you've done it a million times before in precisely the same way, and you know where the utensils are because they've got their home and that- that's where they live and so on and so forth. I am looking down here at some of the stuff. Like, thankfully, because still I'm like a man-child, these aren't things that I need to do, but, like, plan a cocktail party, how to, uh, set an impressive table, um, arrange flowers in a vase, ice a layer ca- arrange a cheese board. My business partner would love that. Um, uncork a bottle of wine and taste a bottle of wine. Like this, i- it really is quite a, uh, uh, quite a guide to adulting. I'm gonna try and pick one- one more off the end. Oh, in fact, is there anything toward the end, like, the finishing the day or upping your interpersonal game or your- your personal game? Are there any of those that really stood out to you that you've taken yourself that you absolutely loved? Are there anything that you want to finish on?

    6. ER

      Um, hmm. I do love, um, I do love this idea of reviewing your day every day, um, and it's like, at night, you kind of go back and look through your day and see, "What did I do right? What did I do," you know, "What d- what could I have done better? I wish I hadn't, you know, sent that text," or, "I wish I hadn't," um, you know, "I wish I'd gotten to the gym," whatever it is. But this idea, this comes from Patty Morrissey, and she's, um, just a really cool person who talks about being kinder to ourselves. Like, that's really, like, something we all can- can do, right? And especially during quarantine, um, just taking a minute and looking back at your day in a way that you have, like, patience with yourself, gratitude. We're not looking back to be like, "Oh, I screwed up. I didn't empty the dishwasher. I didn't do this properly. I didn't do that properly." Um, but just saying, "Okay, like, tomorrow I want to try to do..." You know, "I want to try to get up and out of bed. This morning, maybe I didn't. Tomorrow morning, I want to try to get up out of bed." Um, looking back on the way you did things and saying, "Okay, tomorrow's a new day, uh, and I'm gonna try a little harder to do this or that." Um, but I try to do that a lot because obviously, like, I'm trying to implement all of these life skills, and there are some days (notification chime) that I really crush it and other days when I really don't. Um, and I think that's... Hopefully that's why I wrote this book and why people will like this book, because I'm not this perfect person who's sitting here saying like, "Well, this is how you do this, and this is how you do that." I- I'm basically saying, "Look, I am figuring it all out too," um, but now we have all of these resources telling us exactly how to do these things in a really easy way that we can all do. Like, this is, none of this is, none of this is rocket science, right? It- it really isn't. I mean, even making the cheese board, (laughs) that was a game changer. You should definitely try that. It is incredible. Marisa Mullen is my cheese board expert at that, she's, That Cheese Plate, and she's phenomenal. I mean, my friends literally are... It's a running joke because I will make a cheese board for everything. Like, if someone pops over for, like, five minutes, I'm like, "Oh, I'm gonna make a cheese board." Um-

    7. CW

      Three-year-old's birthday, cheese board for the three-year-old.

    8. ER

      100%. Yeah. Yeah. It's so fun. Um, but yeah, but looking back and just being kinder to ourselves and- and, you know, trying a little bit harder, but, um, because, you know, again, because it's- it's our life, and it's like, if you can have peace and calm and a sense of efficiency, and like my dad says, like, do it right the first time because then you're done (laughs) , you know? Like, then you don't have to deal with going to find key... And I'm the same way, I lose my keys all the time, and then it's like, you know, "Oh, now I have to go deal with that," and we're adding things to our to-do list when we don't actually do them properly the first time.

    9. CW

      Absolutely. If- in- in a world where we've got too much stuff to do, adding more on is a surefire way to make life miserable. So yeah-

    10. ER

      Yeah. (laughs)

    11. CW

      ... I'm all, I'm- I'm all for it. So the link to The Little Book of Life Skills will be in the show notes below. Of course, go and pick it up on Amazon. Anywhere else that you want people to go, Erin? Any other stuff you want to plug online?

    12. ER

      Oh, yeah. They could follow me on Instagram. I'm doing all sorts of fun, uh, (laughs) posts and trials of my, (laughs) of my attempted adulting, um, and I'm- I'm @erinzruddy, um, on Instagram. Um, and you can hashtag The Little Book of Life Skills if you want to try something yourself and, uh, and we'll- we'll see how we can all start adulting a little bit better 'cause we can still learn even at 42, you know? There's- there's always new things to learn, which I love.

    13. CW

      Awesome. Thank you so much for your time, Erin.

    14. ER

      Thank you so much, Chris. This was so fun.

    15. NA

      (Instrumental music)

Episode duration: 56:16

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