Skip to content
Modern WisdomModern Wisdom

Ancestral Mating Strategies VS Modern Mating - Mads Larsen

Mads Larsen is a Norwegian author and journalist whose research focuses on the history of human mating ideologies. The narrative of human romance is an ancient story. But that story has not always remained the same, the last 10,000 years has been a crazy journey through different beliefs on why we should find and stay with a partner and today we get to hear about all the fascinating details. Expect to learn why it's so illuminating to study the story of mating ideologies across time, how our modern beliefs about finding a partner are historically very unusual, why having a daughter as a farmer could be a useful addition to your farming strategy, why Incels are so unhappy, why old people are the happiest despite evidence to the contrary in the past and much more... Sponsors: Get $150/£150 discount on the Eight Sleep Pod Cover at https://eightsleep.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get $150 discount on Plunge’s amazing sauna or cold plunge at https://plunge.com (use code MW150) Extra Stuff: Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #dating #love #philosophy - 00:00 Why Does Mating Need an Ideology? 03:09 Our Ancestors’ Typical Mating Strategies 12:33 The Oldest Mating Ideology 18:52 Why Churches Imposed Monogamy 23:20 When Courtship Was Introduced 34:33 The Basis For Our Current Mating Ideology 42:39 The Post-1750 Sexual Revolutions 48:38 Did the Church Lose Control in 1750? 55:48 Impact of Introducing Contraception 1:01:30 What is Causing Today’s Mating Dysfunctions? 1:10:27 Are We On the Verge of a New Mating Era? 1:23:11 Why Are People So Unhappy? 1:34:27 How Comparison Can Impact Wellbeing 1:45:19 Where to Find Mads - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostMads Larsenguest
Nov 8, 20231h 46mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

From Heroic Rape Cultures To Tinder: How Mating Stories Evolve

  1. Chris Williamson and Mads Larsen trace 6 million years of human mating, arguing that every social order rests on how men and women reproduce and the stories we build around it. They outline successive “mating ideologies” — from promiscuous primates to polygynous warrior cultures, church‑enforced monogamy, romantic marriage, and today’s individualistic, low‑fertility regime. Larsen explains how religion, law, economics, and technology (especially contraception and dating apps) have repeatedly overruled our evolved impulses, often to stabilize societies but now contributing to demographic decline and widespread mating frustration. They close by linking modern loneliness, incels, falling happiness, and future tech (artificial wombs, AI partners) to a coming “fourth sexual revolution” whose consequences are impossible to predict.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Mating ideologies are the hidden foundation of civilization.

Larsen argues that politics and philosophy sit on top of a more basic layer: how societies organize reproduction. When mating norms collapse or change, social orders destabilize, forcing new stories about duty, love, and gender roles to emerge.

Human mating evolved for very different conditions than modern life.

Our lineage shifted from promiscuous groups to pair-bonding with male provisioning, then into agricultural polygyny and kin-based tribes. Our psychology is tuned to these older environments, not to long-term monogamy with contraception and individual choice.

Religious monogamy and bans on cousin marriage radically reshaped Europe.

The medieval Church dissolved kin-based tribes, outlawed close-kin marriage, seized inheritance flows, and enforced lifelong monogamy even on elites. This produced more sexual egalitarianism, higher paternal investment in children, and the psychological basis for individualism and modern growth.

Sexual ‘revolutions’ often overcorrect, then trigger puritan backlashes.

Libertine ideologies (e.g., 18th‑century “liberty and love”) increased premarital sex and illegitimacy, heavily burdening women. Counter-movements like romantic love and Puritanism then re‑moralized sex (especially female sexuality) to control fertility and avoid Malthusian crisis.

Modern individualistic mating (confluent love) undermines fertility.

Today’s ideal of gender-equal, self-realizing, dissolvable relationships, enabled by contraception and female economic independence, makes childbearing feel optional and risky. Even massive welfare transfers (e.g., Norway) barely move fertility, suggesting material incentives alone can’t reverse decline.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

At the foundation of every social order is how men and women reproduce.

Mads Larsen

Our ancestors spent 2,000 years doing universal genocide and rape — that’s what it seems like.

Mads Larsen

The Church’s imposition of lifelong monogamy on superior males changed everything.

Mads Larsen

We did not evolve under regimes of individual choice. We generally didn’t pick our own mates.

Mads Larsen

There’s one iron evolutionary law: if your ideology makes you stop reproducing, it disappears.

Mads Larsen

Why mating ideologies underpin all social ordersEvolutionary history: from promiscuous ancestors to pair-bonding and agricultureHeroic love, patriarchy, and extreme polygyny/genocide in early agrarian societiesThe Church’s imposition of monogamy, cousin-marriage bans, and the first sexual revolutionCourtly love, companionate marriage, Puritanism, and the management of fertilityModern sexual revolutions: libertine, romantic, and confluent love (individual choice)Current mating dysfunction, demographic collapse, and future technological disruptions

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.

Add to Chrome