How to Start a Conversation Without Feeling Creepy or Forced - Blaine Anderson

1. 0:00 – 1:42

   Can Women Give Men Dating Advice?

   1. CWChris Williamson0:00

      How do you describe what you do?

   2. BABlaine Anderson0:02

      I am a dating coach for men, so I help men build confidence, learn to authentically market themselves, create chemistry, flirt, and generally attract quality women they are excited about.

   3. CWChris Williamson0:14

      How many times a day do you hear the sentence, "Why would I ask a fish about how to fish?"

   4. BABlaine Anderson0:18

      (laughs) I tend to avoid my comment section on Instagram, so not very many. (laughs)

   5. CWChris Williamson0:23

      You know what I mean.

   6. BABlaine Anderson0:24

      Yeah.

   7. CWChris Williamson0:24

      There is a sort of a big trope on the internet of men saying women can't teach men about how to pick up women.

   8. BABlaine Anderson0:29

      Yeah, and what I would say to that is, that's like saying women, a woman can't give good advice. I'm not saying I'm the only one qualified to give this advice, but me not having a Y chromosome doesn't disqualify me from being able to describe what women want. In fact, some might argue, including myself, it makes me more equipped to speak to that.

   9. CWChris Williamson0:50

      Mm-hmm.

   10. BABlaine Anderson0:50

       Um, also, to be honest, the type of guy who says that isn't the type of guy I work with. That's not the type of guy who comes to me for my advice, and that's okay with me.

   11. CWChris Williamson0:59

       It's probably somebody who generally isn't that open to looking to change themselves in any case.

   12. BABlaine Anderson1:06

       Yeah, and they're usually, generalizing here, more inclined to blame women for their problems or think the system is rigged and that women have it easy.

   13. CWChris Williamson1:15

       Mm-hmm.

   14. BABlaine Anderson1:15

       And really, when I hear guys say, "Women have it so much easier," that tells me that they really just don't have empathy for women.

   15. CWChris Williamson1:21

       Mm-hmm. Which-

   16. BABlaine Anderson1:21

       I'm not saying men have it harder or easier. Both are struggling.

   17. CWChris Williamson1:25

       Yeah, but also, I suppose, if you're a guy who just from ground floor doesn't have any empathy for women, it probably is not fantastic for your dating prospects long term.

   18. BABlaine Anderson1:36

       Absolutely, and I wouldn't be the right person to help them-

   19. CWChris Williamson1:40

       (laughs)

   20. BABlaine Anderson1:40

       ... work through that. (laughs)

2. 1:42 – 7:37

   Do Women Want to Make the First Move?

   1. BABlaine Anderson1:42

   2. CWChris Williamson1:42

      "A lot of effort to get one date." Bumble app makes women's first move easier. "'In the end, it was the data that killed me,'" says Penny about her decision to leave the dating app Bumble. If she opened the app, she might receive 100 likes, 25% of which she might be interested in. She would look at their profiles and write an individualized message. A few would respond, perhaps one would result in a date. "That's a lot of effort to get one date," she says. "It's exhausting." Bumble, billed as the feminist Tinder when it launched in 2014, this week announced it was taking action to relieve the administrative burden on its female users. It has given them the option of firing off a short pre-written question to potential dates rather than a carefully crafted missive after 70% of its female users said that they were becoming burned out. While it is not ditching the requirement for women to make the first move, its female users can now send a template question, such as "What book or film changed the way you think?" using the site's opening moves feature. What do you think about this?

   3. BABlaine Anderson2:35

      So I'm supportive of it, but I don't find it surprising. This really maps to the dynamics, male-female approach dynamics, that we see in person, which is that the responsibility is on the man to approach and start the conversation with a woman. It's not generally the woman who is the one needing to approach or start the conversation. But what I would say is this woman who says she was writing carefully crafted messages is in the minority. As someone who has looked at thousands of Bumble conversations, women generally send zero effort, one-word rep- responses, like "Hi," and then the onus would still fall on the man to then come up with a creative or interesting conversation and steer that towards a date. So I feel like previously, okay, women were starting the conversation, but in name only.

   4. CWChris Williamson3:25

      Mm-hmm. I think there's a good bit of pushback from guys about this, and I can understand why, that basically they now feel like, hang on, women. You said that you wanted an app that allowed you to make the first move, which is what we've had to do for all of human history, and then being given that preference, privilege, request, whatever it is that you wanted, you're now saying that, oh, it's too arduous-

   5. BABlaine Anderson3:46

      (laughs)

   6. CWChris Williamson3:46

      ... even though you can copy and paste a message, you can use keyboard shortcuts on iPhone to make it easier to do, and it's now been made even more easy so that there's pre-written template questions that you can just press a button to send to me, which means i- it is first move in name only.

   7. BABlaine Anderson4:01

      Yeah.

   8. CWChris Williamson4:02

      And I think it probably feels, many guys that are dating will feel indignant, where it's like, this is what it's like for me all the time.

   9. BABlaine Anderson4:10

      Yeah.

   10. CWChris Williamson4:10

       Not just on this one app.

   11. BABlaine Anderson4:11

       Yeah, and unfortunately, that's just the reality of dating. The man is expected to be the pursuer, and you can either, you know, not to say you were complaining about that, but complain about that, or you can learn how to a- approach and appropriately attract women, and you can trace that back to evolutionary biology. You know, the man is, in almo- across most species, the male is the pursuer. Sperm are much more abundant than eggs. Eggs are the scarcer resource. Women become the chooser up front.

   12. CWChris Williamson4:41

       There's some interesting species where the reverse is the case. There's some birds, I think in some spiders-

   13. BABlaine Anderson4:47

       Okay.

   14. CWChris Williamson4:47

       ... it's the same too, and the male is the choosier one.

   15. BABlaine Anderson4:50

       Uh-huh.

   16. CWChris Williamson4:51

       Quite rightly, the, the, the, burden sort of switches, and, uh, men are the ones that get to choo- or the males are the ones that get to choose. But yeah, I think, you know, guys being the protagonists and women being the gatekeepers or the receivers in whatever way, anybody that is... Like e- people realize this. What are you hearing, or what is it that women say about their desire to initiate versus their desire to be pursued? What have you learned there?

   17. BABlaine Anderson5:19

       So women want to be approached more and pursued more, at least in- from what I see in my personal experience, in my relationships with women, and what I hear, and then I also conducted some informal survey data of 13,000 women in the US and the UK. 97% said they would rather meet their partner in person than online, and 95% said they wish they were approached more often by men in real life. 95% of anything is crazy. I'm not sure 95% of people would agree the sky is blue if you asked them. And women are saying, in hordes basically, like, "Hey, I wanna meet a guy offline," and like, "I want guys to approach me." And, you know, I hear guys saying, "Well..."... "women are rude when I approach them" or "it doesn't work out." And the reality is, is it's a numbers game. Like there are some women who don't want to be approached, and there are even more women who already have a partner or aren't interested in men or don't like you for whatever reason that you can't control. But that is out of your control. If you learn to approach appropriately, you're not going to be pepper sprayed or arrested (laughs) or have some terrible thing happen if you talk to a woman in real life.

   18. CWChris Williamson6:31

       Yeah, your sample was 13,000 single women-

   19. BABlaine Anderson6:34

       Yes.

   20. CWChris Williamson6:35

       ... in the US and the UK.

   21. BABlaine Anderson6:36

       Mm-hmm.

   22. CWChris Williamson6:36

       I'm not sure what the age cohort was, but let's say that 50% of women are in a relationship, 50% are single. That actually turns 95% into 47.5%.

   23. BABlaine Anderson6:47

       Yeah.

   24. CWChris Williamson6:47

       So for the guys that say, "I've tried to approach women. What's the likelihood that each time I do it, it's one of the five percent," it's like, mm, yeah, but you- you don't know. Unless they've got a green badge that says, "Yes, I'm single"-

   25. BABlaine Anderson6:58

       Yeah.

   26. CWChris Williamson6:58

       ... you're not actually pre-selecting.

   27. BABlaine Anderson7:00

       Exactly. So you're j- It is you just have to approach more often. And I get it. It's hard. It can be anxiety-inducing. You're oftentimes facing rejection, and that is just what has been happening for all of human history. (laughs) And I think we have become complicit with expecting things to be delivered to us. You can press a button on your phone and have any meal you want delivered to your door. All of your groceries come to your door. Anything you wanna watch, you can press a button and watch that at- at that time. And I'm not anti-technology, but technology has made people lazy and expect to always get what they want when they want it. And dating and mating is not that way.

3. 7:37 – 14:05

   How Common is Male Approach Anxiety?

   1. CWChris Williamson7:37

      Is this male approach anxiety the biggest problem that guys come to you with?

   2. BABlaine Anderson7:42

      It is one of them, absolutely. And it's not even necessarily that they come to me and say, "Hey, I have approach anxiety, and I wanna get over it." It's that they don't have the dating life they want, and they don't even necessarily draw the conclusion, "Oh, I'm not approaching anybody," (laughs) when that is one of the very big problems. So I really encourage- I do this with all of my clients, and- and you guys out there who are listening are like, "Oh, I'm, like, not meeting women." Keep an approach journal. I challenge you. A note on your phone, a real journal. Write down every time you talk to a woman. And you don't have to ask for her phone number. You shouldn't ask for her phone number or ask her out if the conversation doesn't feel like it warrants that. But just how many times you're actually talking to women, and I bet you will be shocked at how few it is.

   3. CWChris Williamson8:28

      So this is the equivalent of using MyFitnessPal to track your calories-

   4. BABlaine Anderson8:31

      Yeah. (laughs)

   5. CWChris Williamson8:31

      ... and you're saying, "Dude, I'm only eating- I promise you, I'm only eating 1,500 calories." And you say, "Let's track it for a week," and you go, "Ah, fuck, it was 2,200."

   6. BABlaine Anderson8:39

      Yes.

   7. CWChris Williamson8:39

      "I'm approaching 10, 15 women a week. Oh, it was one."

   8. BABlaine Anderson8:44

      Maybe. Maybe. And I think part of that is because you have access to social media, to OnlyFans, and so you're seeing all of these beautiful women, and it tricks you into thinking, like, "Surely I'm interacting with women."

   9. CWChris Williamson8:57

      Mm.

   10. BABlaine Anderson8:57

       "I inter- I see women all the time." Maybe you're even DMing some or interacting (laughs) with them on OnlyFans. That doesn't count. That is not the same as walking up to a woman in the grocery store, at a yoga class, in a park, and striking up a conversation.

   11. CWChris Williamson9:12

       What is your best advice for men to overcome approach anxiety?

   12. BABlaine Anderson9:16

       Yeah. (laughs) So I- I actually have an entire mini course on this because I have so many- I get so many questions about it. My biggest piece of advice is take the pressure off. So don't think, like, "Oh, I need to approach, and my goal here is to get a phone number." No. Your goal is to connect with another human being. So you shouldn't just be approaching attractive women who you're interested in dating. Approach humans, people generally, women generally, of all ages, and talk to them. And get really good at that. And then once you feel comfortable with that, it will feel more natural to approach a woman who you do find attractive and have a good conversation. And then maybe you do ask for her phone number. But going from sitting on your couch and swiping to approaching a ten, yeah, that's really scary. (laughs) So start small. Start with baby steps.

   13. CWChris Williamson10:02

       Charlie Houpert from Charisma on Command's got a good piece of advice where he says, "Flirt with the world."

   14. BABlaine Anderson10:06

       Oh.

   15. CWChris Williamson10:06

       He uses Russell Brand as the example of this. And, um, you know, Russell Brand in his Lothario era, 10, 15 years ago, he's doing this interview, um, and what is it that ... Someone asks him the question, uh, "I've heard that you're a sex addict. Is that right?" And he says, "Well, I don't know if it's right, but it's definitely enjoyable."

   16. BABlaine Anderson10:24

       (laughs)

   17. CWChris Williamson10:24

       And you just think, like, he's always playing this sort of flirtatious game.

   18. BABlaine Anderson10:29

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson10:29

       He's touching the, like ... I mean, it's Russell Brand, and he also may turn out to be a sex criminal. We don't know-

   20. BABlaine Anderson10:33

       (laughs)

   21. CWChris Williamson10:33

       ... about that. So, you know, don't- don't take your dating cues from Russell Brand.

   22. BABlaine Anderson10:36

       (laughs)

   23. CWChris Williamson10:36

       But I- I- the sentiment, I think, is true, which is ... And I know this. You know, I'm recently single, and you go from being, you know, not at all concerned with you- uh, the way that you come across to women, and then you start to sort of have to re-kickstart this engine of, "Oh, god. Like, okay, well, I need to actually be a little bit more playful here," as opposed to just the transactional sort of-

   24. BABlaine Anderson11:01

       Yes.

   25. CWChris Williamson11:01

       ... autist that you were previously.

   26. BABlaine Anderson11:03

       Mm-hmm. Absolutely. I love the flirt with the world 'cause it's so true. And, uh, we are so conditioned. Everyone is in their phone, like eyes down, looking at their phone, moving through the world with their headphones in. And you can't control if everyone else has their headphones in. That y- y- you can't control anyone else's, you know, reaction to anything. What you can control is if you're the type of person who doesn't have their headphones in, who makes eye contact, who smiles, who says hello. I was picking up pizza the other day, and I was waiting in the shop. And this guy walks in with noise-canceling headphones on, like over-the-ear headphones, walks up to the counter, doesn't take off his headphones, just ... And the girl's, like, really nice. She's this cute girl. He's- They're roughly the same age. She says, "Hey, how can I help you?" And he just turns and holds his phone out at her. And she's like, "Oh, okay, it'll be right up." Doesn't say anything, puts it back in his pocket, and turns away. And I was like, " (scoffs) ." Like, I don't care if you're not single. Like, who knows? Maybe he's gay. Maybe he's not interested in ... It doesn't matter. You are not engaging with the world around you-

   27. CWChris Williamson12:01

       Mm.

   28. BABlaine Anderson12:01

       ... at all. It was really sad to see.

   29. CWChris Williamson12:03

       That's interesting. Okay. So-Reduce some of the pressure.

   30. BABlaine Anderson12:08

       Mm-hmm.
4. 14:05 – 21:19

   Opening Lines That Actually Work

   1. BABlaine Anderson14:05

   2. CWChris Williamson14:05

      You mentioned a couple of opening lines there. What, some canned openers that the super nervous guy that's gonna go out and try this weekend-

   3. BABlaine Anderson14:13

      Yeah.

   4. CWChris Williamson14:13

      ... a couple of times to do this-

   5. BABlaine Anderson14:14

      Yeah.

   6. CWChris Williamson14:14

      What are some of your favorite opening lines?

   7. BABlaine Anderson14:16

      Okay. Like I said, keep it really simple unless something comes to you that you're like, "Oh, this really makes sense." So, first look for a few things. What's she holding? What's she doing? What's she wearing? Any of those things can be things to comment on. Maybe she's holding a yoga mat, so you can use that as a conversation starter. Maybe she's holding a cup of coffee or, uh, you know, wearing some really unique Doc Martens or hat. Those are all things you can comment on, so leveraging that is one option. So you might say something like, "Hey, I noticed you from over there. Those are sick sneakers. I'm a sneaker head myself. Where did you get those? Or how long have you had them? Wh- when did those drop?" That's an example of using something she's holding, doing, wearing as a jumping off point. If you- your mind is blank, she's not holding, doing, wearing anything you can comment on, then going back to just like, "Hey, I saw you from over there, and I wanted to come over and introduce myself. My name's Blaine." Or, "Hey, I saw you from over there, and I thought you were really cute, and I'd kick myself later if I didn't say hello. How's your night going?" Simple.

   8. CWChris Williamson15:21

      What about the next step after that? Because I think that a lot of guys, even if they've got some canned openers, what she's doing, wearing-

   9. BABlaine Anderson15:29

      Mm-mm. Holding. (laughs)

   10. CWChris Williamson15:30

       Holding. Um, if they get through that, I think the, "Oh, how do I now exit the conversation in a non-awkward way?"

   11. BABlaine Anderson15:39

       Yeah.

   12. CWChris Williamson15:39

       Because, you know, the peak-end rule in psychology suggests that the most emotionally intense and the final emotional moment are the two that are the most important of any event.

   13. BABlaine Anderson15:48

       Mm-hmm.

   14. CWChris Williamson15:49

       I wonder how many guys might actually be able to overcome their approach anxiety, but their exit pain is so high-

   15. BABlaine Anderson15:56

       Mm-hmm.

   16. CWChris Williamson15:56

       ... that it actually clouds their memory of the approach. It's like, the approach was fine-

   17. BABlaine Anderson16:01

       Yeah.

   18. CWChris Williamson16:01

       ... but the way that you, "Okay, I'll go now."

   19. BABlaine Anderson16:05

       Yeah.

   20. CWChris Williamson16:06

       And this sort of weird awkward like, high five you or something. You know what I mean? Fist bump.

   21. BABlaine Anderson16:09

       Yeah.

   22. CWChris Williamson16:10

       Um...

   23. BABlaine Anderson16:10

       So, it depends on where you're meeting her, of course. So let's say you're at a bar, and you go up, you use that, "Hey, I thought you were really cute, so I wanted to introduce myself."

   24. CWChris Williamson16:19

       Cute, pretty, beautiful? What's the word?

   25. BABlaine Anderson16:21

       You can use any of those. Whatever-

   26. CWChris Williamson16:23

       Uh, th- there's a lot of, a lot of dudes listening that are like-

   27. BABlaine Anderson16:25

       (laughs)

   28. CWChris Williamson16:26

       ... "Fucking gotta get this down, like, with OCD."

   29. BABlaine Anderson16:28

       Whatever feels authentic to you-

   30. CWChris Williamson16:30

       Mm-hmm.
5. 21:19 – 24:19

   How Can Men Stand Out?

   1. CWChris Williamson21:19

      How do men stand out more?

   2. BABlaine Anderson21:20

      So embarrassed (laughs) . I think that's the same.

   3. CWChris Williamson21:21

      Yeah.

   4. BABlaine Anderson21:22

      Um, so it depends where they're trying to meet women. For example, online, if you have, if you have anything short of an A+ dating profile, you're not going to get matches. And the reality is, even if you have an A+ dating profile, but you have some other characteristics that create, make online dating challenging for you, you still aren't going to get (laughs) matches.

   5. CWChris Williamson21:43

      Mm-hmm.

   6. BABlaine Anderson21:43

      So, but there are things to do to improve your online dating game. And then in terms of offline, so much goes into it. You know, what you look like, that is part of it. If you look like a slob, you could be a really ni- like great guy. You could be confident, truly. You could be successful, you could be charismatic, you could be funny, but if you look like a slob, women are going to look past you and so you have to take care of yourself. Are you in shape? Do you dress well? Do you have good hygiene? That's like one part of the outside. Then also how you talk about yourself is going to be part of how you market yourself. Do you go on a date and just say like, "Yeah, work's okay, I'm an accountant, uh, yeah, yeah. You know, I go to, nine to five, I get to work remote on Fridays, it's cool." Or do you say, "I work for an accounting form, firm that helps dogs find new homes and it is, I'm so passionate about it because X, Y and Z. I love the people I work with and I'm expecting to move into XYZ position in a year"? It's not that you're bragging, it's that you are showing that you have a trajectory that she wants to be a part of and that she finds impressive. And again, I want to be clear because some guys go into dates thinking, "Oh, I need to impress her," and it's not the right mindset for a date. It's, "Okay, I want to be my authentic best self and see if there is a mutual connection here."

   7. CWChris Williamson23:02

      What did you mean when you talked about, uh, improving your life, your quality of life, to make you more-

   8. BABlaine Anderson23:08

      Yeah.

   9. CWChris Williamson23:08

      ... easily marketable and attractive to women?

   10. BABlaine Anderson23:10

       So, one of the biggest mistakes I see men make is, "Oh, I really want to go on this trip to Italy, but I'd rather wait until I had a girlfriend to do it with." They're putting their life on hold to live their best life until they have a woman to enjoy it with because they would rather do it when they have a girlfriend. And that is a mistake. You need to build your best life so you have the ability to meet that woman that you're interested in. First of all, you're not going to meet a woman sitting at home. And second of all, the type of woman that you are interested in dating, what are you going to talk to her on a date about if you haven't built that life already? So, you should have hobbies. These are things you're going to connect with her about. It doesn't mean she has to do the same hobbies as well, but are you passionate about them? Are you spending your time doing things that you enjoy and help make you a better person or are you sitting at home playing video games on the couch? Which sounds more attractive? You just crushed a pickleball tournament or pick, started making ceramics or like you just beat whatever level in World of Warcraft. Like, there is a difference.

   11. CWChris Williamson24:12

       There's a, there's a niche of women out there who want the World of Warcraft guy, but I imagine that the competition for those women is also pretty high.

   12. BABlaine Anderson24:18

       (laughs)

   13. CWChris Williamson24:18

       Uh,

6. 24:19 – 27:10

   Best Online Dating Platforms

   1. CWChris Williamson24:19

      let's get back to online dating-In your opinion, what are the best online dating platforms?

   2. BABlaine Anderson24:25

      Which apps?

   3. CWChris Williamson24:26

      Yeah.

   4. BABlaine Anderson24:27

      So, any of the ones that have the biggest user base, so that's generally Hinge and Bumble. Those are the ones I recommend for my clients. The- the intent is usually higher on those apps. Tinder definitely has the higher- highest user base, but it also has a ton of spam and lower intent that you have to filter through.

   5. CWChris Williamson24:46

      What do you mean when you say intent?

   6. BABlaine Anderson24:47

      So, I've found that, from working with clients, that a lot of the people on Tinder might just be there for hookups, might be soliciting sex, where intention behind finding a relationship or at least going on legitimate dates that aren't in exchange for money- (laughs)

   7. CWChris Williamson25:02

      Mm-hmm.

   8. BABlaine Anderson25:03

      ... um, happens more on Hinge and Bumble. And then of those two, it's really dependent on where you live, so you need to oftentimes try both and see where you find your success. So, I have found that clients who are based in Austin, where Bumble is headquartered, really like Bumble.

   9. CWChris Williamson25:19

      Mm.

   10. BABlaine Anderson25:19

       And they have, like, more women that they connect with via Bumble, where just for, as an example, I had a client in Seattle who was like, "I don't get any matches on Bumble. Doesn't seem like there's any women there. I like Hinge more."

   11. CWChris Williamson25:30

       Mm-hmm.

   12. BABlaine Anderson25:30

       So, it does take some trial and error, and if you live someplace remote, it might be Hinge or it might, excuse me, it might be Tinder for you, just from a sheer number of women on the app standpoint.

   13. CWChris Williamson25:40

       Mm-hmm.

   14. BABlaine Anderson25:41

       So, of those three, I recommend people try them and see what works for them.

   15. CWChris Williamson25:45

       I got banned from Hinge for impersonating myself.

   16. BABlaine Anderson25:49

       You're the second person... No, you know who told me that? Dan (laughs) . Holzarian.

   17. CWChris Williamson25:54

       Dan who? Did he?

   18. BABlaine Anderson25:54

       From, on Bumble. His was Bumble. He got banned for impersonating himself there.

   19. CWChris Williamson25:58

       James Smith, James Smith, my business partner in Nutonic, got banned on Hinge for impersonating himself as well. Well, I'd been, I'd been in a relationship for three and a half years, and there was a deadline that I had to submit my proof of identification by. I- I can't even remember using Hinge.

   20. BABlaine Anderson26:09

       Uh-huh.

   21. CWChris Williamson26:09

       And it was 20, like, the end of 2021, like two, three years ago, and like, I mean, a swing and a miss for me on that. But yeah, um, I, a lot of friends, definitely the guys that I speak to, at least the guys that are in Austin, say that Hinge, uh, for them, is-

   22. BABlaine Anderson26:26

       The best.

   23. CWChris Williamson26:27

       Yeah, by far the best-

   24. BABlaine Anderson26:28

       Mm-hmm.

   25. CWChris Williamson26:28

       ... they say.

   26. BABlaine Anderson26:28

       Yeah. It can be either.

   27. CWChris Williamson26:30

       What about Raya, the League?

   28. BABlaine Anderson26:33

       So, these I actually have clients have success with, success with as well. Raya, the problem is I feel like it's a lot of looking. It's ev- people on Raya to see who else is there and swipe, where I feel like the actual going on the date happens less. Just anecdotally, but from the many, many clients who I have spoken to and also my friends. Um, but I don't know, for someone like you who i- has, is public figure, who has a following, there are more people in that bucket on Raya. But you're also seeing people all over the world instead of just in your five-mile radius.

   29. CWChris Williamson27:07

       Hm. Okay.

   30. BABlaine Anderson27:08

       So the numbers are smaller.

7. 27:10 – 39:16

   Designing the Perfect Profile

   1. BABlaine Anderson27:10

   2. CWChris Williamson27:10

      When it comes to designing an online dating profile, what should guys do? How do you design the perfect-

   3. BABlaine Anderson27:15

      Yeah.

   4. CWChris Williamson27:15

      ... online dating profile?

   5. BABlaine Anderson27:16

      The number one thing, the most important thing if you don't do anything else, is you need high-quality photos. Not photos from five years ago of you on a boat, not a photo of you with Kobe Bryant in fifth grade. Photos that are relevant and look like what you look like today. If she looks at your profile and is like, "I'm not really sure what he looks like," it's an automatic no. So, not-

   6. CWChris Williamson27:41

      Because there's too much variation between photos?

   7. BABlaine Anderson27:43

      ... ex- too much variation or too far away, you're wearing sunglasses. She just can't get a good sense quickly. And you need to remember, these women are looking at your profile, and I mean, maybe men look a little closer, but when women are looking at profiles, it's like one-and-done. You have a- about one second to make a good impression, so that first photo needs to be clear, not quite a headshot. We're not talking LinkedIn headshot. But it needs to be your face. I like it when you're looking into the camera. It feels like you're looking at her then. It creates more familiarity. And that's the most important for the first photo. As you go down, you have opportunities to have other types of photos. You don't want six headshot-type photos. Now you need to start incorporating a full body shot. You need one of those. And then you need what I call filler photos that are more lifestyle. So, showcase how you spend your time. If every photo is a headshot of you, it, then it doesn't tell her anything about you as a person. Do you like to ski? Have a skiing photo. Wakeboarding, traveling, whenev- with your dog, with your mom, whatever is important to your life. Use that in your profile. And no photos with women who look like they could be your ex. I don't care if it's your gir- I don't care if it's your sister or your aunt. If she looks like she could be an ex-girlfriend, just skip it.

   8. CWChris Williamson28:55

      I've heard that guys who have photos with mixed groups, so girls in their photos-

   9. BABlaine Anderson29:01

      Mm-hmm.

   10. CWChris Williamson29:01

       ... maybe one at least-

   11. BABlaine Anderson29:02

       Yeah.

   12. CWChris Williamson29:03

       ... uh, seem to have some success because it shows that they're not so weird that no woman would ever choose to hang out with them even if they're just friends. Is that true?

   13. BABlaine Anderson29:09

       Yeah. So, I like a group photo and I'm not picky about if it's you and two guys or if it's you and a guy and a girl, a mix of people that's a-

   14. CWChris Williamson29:16

       But you and a girl is a little bit of amber flag.

   15. BABlaine Anderson29:18

       You and one girl, like at a wedding, for example-

   16. CWChris Williamson29:20

       Yeah.

   17. BABlaine Anderson29:20

       ... I don't care if it's your sister, like, it's a no.

   18. CWChris Williamson29:22

       Mm-hmm.

   19. BABlaine Anderson29:22

       Yeah, I just-

   20. CWChris Williamson29:23

       Unless it's obviously your mum, maybe?

   21. BABlaine Anderson29:24

       Yeah, if it's obviously your mom or your grandma, that's great.

   22. CWChris Williamson29:28

       Mm-hmm.

   23. BABlaine Anderson29:28

       But you just don't want her to be like, "Is he using a photo of his ex here 'cause he didn't have more photos?"

   24. CWChris Williamson29:33

       Mm-hmm.

   25. BABlaine Anderson29:33

       And that's a mistake a lot of guys make when I look at their photos. It's, they didn't build this intentionally. They just found six photos they ha- happened to be in, and those are the six photos they used. Not like, "Oh, these are six photos that showcase what I look like, how I spend my time, and market me well."

   26. CWChris Williamson29:51

       What about selfies?

   27. BABlaine Anderson29:52

       No. (laughs) So, some selfies are okay, but I have learned that men are really bad at understanding what makes a good and bad selfie, so my blanket rule-

   28. CWChris Williamson30:03

       So you never take them.

   29. BABlaine Anderson30:04

       My blanket rule is just no selfies.

   30. CWChris Williamson30:06

       Okay.
8. 39:16 – 44:10

   How to Text More Effectively

   1. CWChris Williamson39:16

      How can people text more effectively? How can guys text more effectively, flirt online? What are the biggest dos and don'ts when it comes-

   2. BABlaine Anderson39:25

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson39:25

      ... to messaging game?

   4. BABlaine Anderson39:26

      So, what I like to tell my clients is, "You are more likely to text yourself out of a date than into a date." Texting should be used for the logistics, but you really want to keep it minimal. A problem a lot of guys have is they are trying to get to know this person via text before a date and chitchat, and so much is lost in text messages. You don't have any tone, you don't have the nuance of facial expressions and body language. So a conversation or something can be said and taken totally out of context or just feel kind of weird, and all of a sudden you were going towards a date and she doesn't really wanna date anymore, because... And then again, this goes back to the online dating, she has a queue of 20 other guys, which is unfortunate reality. So if you misstep, it's really easy to say, "I'm just gonna go back to the drawing board here."

   5. CWChris Williamson40:17

      Mm.

   6. BABlaine Anderson40:17

      So less is more, but you do need to be clear and confident in your communications. So I have, you know, sc- I have a course on this too (laughs) that's just about texting, because so many people struggle with it, that lays out basically templates or scripts.

   7. CWChris Williamson40:31

      Mm.

   8. BABlaine Anderson40:32

      You wanna open the conversation with something... Again, you don't need to reinvent the wheel here and make, say something hilarious or be a comedian if that doesn't speak to who you are, but look for something in her profile that other people might not notice or you can speak to. Maybe she has a photo, uh, in Croatia and you've spent time in Croatia. You, you can say like, "Oh, let me guess, that's in Hvar." You know, you can say something that is going to start a conversation around something you're knowledgeable about. Okay, you're off to the races. She's matched with you. She responds, she said yes, like, "I went, you know, two years ago. Have you been?" Then you want to find a way to steer this towards a date relatively quickly. She's already seen your profile, she's already matched with you, you need a couple messages to establish enough trust that, you know, she knows you're a real person, she's interested-

   9. CWChris Williamson41:25

      Not a serial killer, hopefully.

   10. BABlaine Anderson41:25

       Yeah, she's interested in knowing more, interested in going on a date, and then segue to the date, to the date. So that can be as little as two or three back and forths, as much as ten, but anything more than that is you're, you're doing too much talking and you're-

   11. CWChris Williamson41:40

       Mm-hmm.

   12. BABlaine Anderson41:40

       ... becoming a pen pal, and that's something a lot of guys get wrong. They're looking for this perfect opportunity to ask for a date, they're looking for a flashing green light, you don't need to do that. Go for, go for asking, "This is, I'm enjoying chatting with you about this. What would you think about continuing this over drinks? I know a great spot downtown. I know a great rooftop downtown with excellent happy hour."

   13. CWChris Williamson42:06

       This, I guess, is a, a difficulty if any guys are traveling or if you're not using the geographic net of where you date, because inevitably you can't say, "Why don't we continue this conversation over coffee on Wednesday?" You live in fucking Atlanta.

   14. BABlaine Anderson42:20

       Yeah.Well, and that's just, do you want a long-distance relationship? That's why long... Like, with Raya I said you're looking globally. So a lot less meet-ups, from my experience, end up happening-

   15. CWChris Williamson42:32

       Mm-hmm.

   16. BABlaine Anderson42:33

       ... because you're not... You can't just say, "Hey," like, "Let's grab... do something casual. Let's grab a drink-"

   17. CWChris Williamson42:37

       Just so distributed.

   18. BABlaine Anderson42:38

       "... next Thursday."

   19. CWChris Williamson42:38

       Yeah, "Let's go to fucking Tulum together or something."

   20. BABlaine Anderson42:40

       Yeah. It's like you have to... It's much more level of investment.

   21. CWChris Williamson42:43

       Mm-hmm.

   22. BABlaine Anderson42:43

       Or like, "Oh, I'll fly to your city for this date," and then there's all of a sudden so much pressure and expectation around it as opposed to doing something casual. If you meet somebody online, the first time you meet I consider date zero. This is not even a first date. This is a vibe check.

   23. CWChris Williamson42:59

       Mm-hmm.

   24. BABlaine Anderson43:00

       "Let's just get together, see if we vibe. If we vibe, if we have a good conversation, let's go on a proper first date. Let's get dinner. Let's do something more involved."

   25. CWChris Williamson43:10

       In other news, this episode is brought to you by Magic Spoon. You probably already know Magic Spoon for their super popular high-protein cereal that has got 75,000 five-star reviews. Well, now they've turned their cereal into treats that taste just like those classic crunchy cereal bars that you had growing up but with way more protein and far less sugar. It is a tasty guilt-free time machine back to your childhood. Hitting your protein goals is never easy, but Magic Spoon's treats have a crispy and airy texture that tastes phenomenal and every treat has 11 grams of protein, one gram of sugar, and four net carbs, so you can actually feel good about what you're eating. They're great if you're on the road, if you don't have time to get enough food into yourself throughout the day, or if you're just looking for a midnight snack. They've got six delicious nostalgic flavors including marshmallow, chocolate peanut butter, blueberry, double chocolate, birthday cake, and strawberry milkshake. So, if you want to make hitting your protein goals a treat rather than a chore, head to your nearest grocery store right now to pick up Magic Spoon's brand new protein packed treats.

9. 44:10 – 53:07

   Best Practices for First Dates

   1. CWChris Williamson44:10

      What, uh, what are your favorite, uh, examples for first dates?

   2. BABlaine Anderson44:16

      So lightweight, espec- so it's a little different if you met her online than in person, but if you met her online, then casual. A nice, uh, bar with, for drinks, and, don't drink? A coffee shop, a smoothie shop, mocktails. If you want to eat, okay, something easy, maybe sit at a bar and, like, have tapas, or you even go to a food truck that you like. But you should not be over-invested in a first date, meaning you shouldn't be spending a lot of time or money or resources trying to orchestrate it or to impress her. Just a vibe check. And from a woman's perspective, she doesn't want... Most women, most quality women, aren't going to want to dedicate four hours to a fancy sit-down meal with somebody they don't know. They also want to see, "Okay, do I vibe with this person?" If so, then, like, you know, "Let's move forward." I sometimes have guys say, like, "Oh, I've, like, matched with women who say, like, they don't want to go for a walk. They aren't a dog. They expect dinner on a first date." And I would say take a look at whether that is where you want to start off a relationship on, you know, where you need to be the provider of laying out the red carpet for her. Because usually when women say that they're also not thinking like, "Hey, my favorite food truck or my hole-in-the-wall Thai spot." It's like they're expecting a steakhouse or a fancy sit-down dinner. And so if you're okay with that type of relationship, and those expectations, go for it.

   3. CWChris Williamson45:43

      What's your thoughts on walking dates?

   4. BABlaine Anderson45:45

      So my husband and I's first date was a walking date.

   5. CWChris Williamson45:48

      Mm-hmm.

   6. BABlaine Anderson45:49

      I would say if you're the type of guy who struggles to create romantic connection, it can be tough because it doesn't have an inherently sexy vibe. But it is a really nice way to get to know somebody, to get your steps in, and to just see if there is a connection. And from a woman's standpoint, like, un- at least I know a lot of my friends, you know, especially women who are in their 30s, they don't want to drink every night of the week, and maybe they don't drink at all. Like, sitting down at a bar is like, "Uh, I can maybe do this once a week." But if you're like, "Hey, why don't we, you know, grab a juice and go on a walk?" That's an easy thing to say yes to. So, you know, whatever your date, your first date is, the ease of yes is important. If you're asking her to drive across town or commit four hours or she needs to, like, wear something special-

   7. CWChris Williamson46:36

      Get ready for ages.

   8. BABlaine Anderson46:38

      ... all of a sudden it's a lot. She's, like, weighing the pros and cons and the cost-benefit of doing it. Where if it's like, "Oh, I wanted to get some steps in anyway," like, "I wanted to see if this guy was normal," yeah, like, "Sure, let's take a walk down the str- the block," and obviously plan the walk, you know, on the beach or someplace where, in a neighborhood where you have value to add, where it's going to be fun to look at stuff. Like, it's not just, you know, walking down a busy street with, like, semis driving by (laughs) . But, um, I'm, I'm pro-walk if you feel confident and comfortable on a walk.

   9. CWChris Williamson47:09

      I guess from a safety perspective as well for women, a walking date during the daytime somewhere public is-

   10. BABlaine Anderson47:15

       Yeah.

   11. CWChris Williamson47:15

       ... probably a pretty good start.

   12. BABlaine Anderson47:16

       Exactly.

   13. CWChris Williamson47:17

       Mm-hmm. Interesting. So, what about turning first date into second date? And also, what should guys be doing and saying on a first date? Like, how should they behave?

   14. BABlaine Anderson47:28

       Yeah. So you want to be your authentic self first and foremost (laughs) , but you also want to be... So when on a first date you should be aiming to have her do 70% of the talking. There are studies that show when... the more somebody talks, the more they perceived the date or the time spent to be positive. People like to talk. Realistically, a good date might be more balanced, more like 50/50. But the point here is you want to keep her talking, asking questions. Something men get wrong when, especially when they're nervous, and it's understandable, is they'll end up rifling through questions in effort to keep her talking. They're like, "You said she should be talking 70% so I just asked a lot of questions." And that's not (laughs) exactly what you want to go for. I'd explain it as you want to pull the conversational thread. So you ask a qu- you know, you ask a question on a topic you also find interesting and then you go down the path of that topic. You don't need to-... beat a dead horse until it, you have nothing left to say, but then focus on that for a little bit, 'cause that's also how you are going to create more of an emotional connection. If you're staying really surface-level with your questions, that emotional connection isn't established. But if you can get her talking about travel and then you're talking about trips you went on as a kid and how every year, she went to the beach with her family and it's a really happy memory for her, those are good feelings that she's having and she's associating with the date. So think about structuring dates and having conversations around things she's gonna wanna talk about and are gonna be fun for both of you to talk about and leave you feeling good.

   15. CWChris Williamson49:05

       I suppose if you focus on something that you are interested in and maybe have a little bit of knowledge in, that already ticks the box of authenticity, and it means that you don't actually have to play a role. If you go, "So what do you do for fun?" And she says, "Oh, I'm really into crochet and the Kardashians," you go, "Oh, yeah. Tell me more about the Kardashians." Oh, uh, bec- you're going down a rabbit hole that you have no information about.

   16. BABlaine Anderson49:27

       Mm-hmm.

   17. CWChris Williamson49:28

       Whereas if you can try and pull the thread of whatever it is that's a, a synthesis of your interests and hers... And I guess as well it's tough for guys because they don't have as many options on the table as women do, but it's totally fine for you, as a guy, to walk away from a date going, "Do you know what it is? She wasn't that interesting. She wasn't that interesting."

   18. BABlaine Anderson49:48

       Yes.

   19. CWChris Williamson49:49

       "This isn't a me problem. This is a her problem. I asked her some questions, and she doesn't really have any hobbies."

   20. BABlaine Anderson49:54

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson49:54

       "She doesn't really seem to do anything with her time. Sh- she doesn't really communicate all that well." Like, it is completely possible for you as a guy who is uncertain about your value in the world and your value to women to go on a date and the woman suck.

   22. BABlaine Anderson50:09

       Yes, (laughs) definitely. So I tell my clients that a third of your effort should be spent towards making a connection, so helping her see that you have things in common, that you have shared interests, shared values. A third of your effort should be assessing if she is a good fit for you, so if she fits the criteria you're looking for, if she's interesting. And then a third of the effort is put towards flirting and having fun. So even if those two things aren't there and she's not th- your person, ideally you both still had a little fun. You can still flirt a little bit.

   23. CWChris Williamson50:37

       Mm.

   24. BABlaine Anderson50:37

       Practice that, and then you both go on your ways and, you know, you chalk it up to, like, "Okay, one less person who I have to meet and I know I'm not gonna marry." (laughs)

   25. CWChris Williamson50:47

       "Men aren't asking women questions on dates. It's a problem. The cashiers at Trader Joe's ask more questions than guys on dates nowadays. I can remember the number of times I've asked a man a question, thinking that, at the bare minimum, he'll ask me the same one in return. But no. He is not inquisitive of my family or my job or my taste in music. After he's finished his long-winded answer, there is just uncomfortable si- silence I then fill with another question for him. I am the one keeping the conversation going. I am the reason I had a fun time on this date. I am a tiresome jester who is being paid in dirty martinis."

   26. BABlaine Anderson51:19

       (laughs) Girl, move on, and go on some d- We need to find you some better dates. I, that i- (laughs) That's funny, and I hear, I mean, I hear that from women. They complain that guys don't know how to ask questions. Not my clients. I'm teaching them (laughs) how to ask questions. Um, I think that, I do feel like growing up, women tend to be more conditioned in how to make people around them comfortable and are oftentimes better conversationalists, therefore-

   27. CWChris Williamson51:45

       Mm.

   28. BABlaine Anderson51:45

       ... than men. That is not a blanket rule, but I think it could be a general principle, at least that I've witnessed. Um, and I would say t- if that is happening, like, to a wo- if that is happening to a woman, I would have her say something like, "You know, I feel like I've been asking a lot about you. What do you wanna know about me?"

   29. CWChris Williamson52:02

       Mm-hmm.

   30. BABlaine Anderson52:03

       Just flip it. That's the thing on dates. People are oftentimes just scared to say what's on their mind. Like, you're probably not gonna wanna go on another date with someone who doesn't have the decency t- or in- is not inquisitive about who you are anyway. But if you... Maybe he, giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he's just really nervous, and if you can kind of click him into having that realization-
10. 53:07 – 1:01:00

    Biggest Red Flags on Dates

    1. CWChris Williamson53:07

       What are the other biggest red flags that guys do on dates in terms of communication, where they go, what they wear?

    2. BABlaine Anderson53:14

       Treating it like a meeting and not a date. So a lot of the men I work with have great jobs, really excel professionally, are good at communicating in work environments. But you do not communicate the same way on a date. A date should be flirty. It should be playful. There su- should be some physical touch. It would be inappropriate if you were at a business meeting and you touched the person's knee (laughs) who you were talking to. But on a date, that should be something that you are intentionally doing. You are creating familiarity and physical connection. So start of the date, there should be a hug, a kiss on the cheek if that speaks to you, if that feels natural for you. Throughout the date, you should be hand on the knee to emphasize a point, hand on her shoulder guiding her to her seat, touch her hand, you know, while you're talking. Again, this takes practice, and a lot of guys who are, have zero practice with physical touch, this takes a lot of practice, and it-

    3. CWChris Williamson54:13

       End up flailing around like a sweaty octopus.

    4. BABlaine Anderson54:14

       (laughs) A sweaty octopus. That's quite the picture. Um, I, I actually feel like it's more they'll, like, stick still and, like-

    5. CWChris Williamson54:21

       Mm-hmm.

    6. BABlaine Anderson54:21

       ... have their hands at their sides, like, and are, aren't moving at all. And I think I might prefer the sweaty octopus. (laughs)

    7. CWChris Williamson54:27

       (laughs)

    8. BABlaine Anderson54:27

       Um, but I'll set a goal, say, "Okay, you wanna have six physical touches on this date." Just like how I say you should have an approach journal with how many women you're talking to, you should also be keeping a date journal and hitting some goals. "How about did I pay compliments? What questions did I ask and were well-received? Did I hit my physical touch goals?" Um, because-A date without physical touch is a meeting, and she didn't come here for a business meeting. Likewise, if the date went well, you want to go for a kiss at the end. That is a great way to end the date if it went well. But you don't wanna go for a kiss if you haven't touched her at all.

    9. CWChris Williamson55:05

       Mm.

    10. BABlaine Anderson55:05

        Just ha- even if it's a great date, you're laughing, you're talking, things are going well, you're flirting, but your hands have been at your sides or in your pockets, and then all of a sudden you lunge for a kiss at the end, that's going to feel very awkward and out of left field.

    11. CWChris Williamson55:19

        Kiss on the cheek? Kiss on the lips at the end?

    12. BABlaine Anderson55:20

        I was-

    13. CWChris Williamson55:21

        First date.

    14. BABlaine Anderson55:21

        ... referring to a kiss on the lips in that sense.

    15. CWChris Williamson55:23

        Mm.

    16. BABlaine Anderson55:24

        You can go either. Um-

    17. CWChris Williamson55:26

        Okay, class.

    18. BABlaine Anderson55:26

        ... you don't have to have (laughs) a kiss on a first date, but I think if the vibe feels right and the date was good, then absolutely go for it.

    19. CWChris Williamson55:34

        How many women do you think that's moving too quickly for?

    20. BABlaine Anderson55:37

        Some, and that's okay. But this is why you have to know. If she doesn't want it, all you say is, "No worries." Like, "Something to look forward to next time," or like, "No pressure."

    21. CWChris Williamson55:45

        That's a cool response.

    22. BABlaine Anderson55:46

        Yeah.

    23. CWChris Williamson55:46

        That's a fun response.

    24. BABlaine Anderson55:48

        I had a client, um, recently who told me on their first date he asked if he get... 'Cause I'm also a big fan. If you're not sure about anything physically, just ask. Like, stand next to her. Stand close to her. Okay, this is a good sign. She's open to standing close to me. We're looking at each other's eyes. Signs are pointing to yes. I'm still a little nervous. Say to her, "I really wanna kiss you right now" as a statement. And she's either gonna say, like, "I don't kiss on the first date," and you can say, "Great, something to look forward to," or like, "No pressure." Or she's gonna say, like, "So do it," or just like smile, and lean in, and be the one to kiss you. And so you're facilitating that, and that goes for really anything physical as things escalate.

    25. CWChris Williamson56:28

        Mm.

    26. BABlaine Anderson56:28

        If you're not sure, just ask. And if you're too uncomfortable to ask, it's too soon to go for it.

    27. CWChris Williamson56:33

        Mm, what a good rule.

    28. BABlaine Anderson56:35

        And I feel like that's true with sex too, and I say, like, guys who are like, "Oh, I don't know if it's like... if we should be having sex," or like if it's time, or like doing this or that in the bedroom. It's like, talk to her about it, and if you're too uncomfortable to talk to her about it, it's too soon to do it anyway.

    29. CWChris Williamson56:51

        That's a good rule. What about how much effort guys should make with the way that they dress on the first date? Like full three-piece suit might be-

    30. BABlaine Anderson56:58

        (laughs)
11. 1:01:00 – 1:13:21

    Good Places to Approach Women At

    1. CWChris Williamson1:01:00

       Wisdom. Okay, where should guys go to find women in person? Talked about online dating, what are your favorite spots for guys to approach women in person?

    2. BABlaine Anderson1:01:08

       Yeah, so any place you're already spending time and your hobbies. So you're gonna have way more to talk about with somebody who you meet at your pickleball league or your run group than you are at a dark night, loud nightclub, or even just walking down the street. I'm not saying you can't meet women at bars and clubs, and you can't approach random women on the street, but that's playing level hard. You have to find a commonality, you have to find something to talk about. Whereas if you were just pick up some hobbies and start going to them on a weekly basis, pick three things you wanna do and try and go to them every single week. Ideally, not all hobbies are created equal, like-

    3. CWChris Williamson1:01:48

       Mm-hmm.

    4. BABlaine Anderson1:01:48

       ... pick hobbies that women also attend and just start talking to people, that's going to be the best way. And oftentimes, what I tell my clients is you might not... Okay, let's use pickleball for an example 'cause, as you know, I love-

    5. CWChris Williamson1:02:01

       Yeah, yep.

    6. BABlaine Anderson1:02:01

       ... pickleball. Let's say you join a pickleball league, maybe you meet a women you're, a woman you're interested in dating there, but maybe not. But you might meet a friend who then invites you to his birthday party, and then at that birthday party, his roommate from college brought his sister, and that's the girl you hit it off with. And you're one or two degrees removed, so you have much more built-in trust, you have, uh, something to talk about, why you're both at that party, pickleball, your common friend, and it becomes much more easy to start a good conversation that can lead someplace.

    7. CWChris Williamson1:02:33

       So you're optimizing for social events, things that involve a little bit of interaction, like CrossFit gym-

    8. BABlaine Anderson1:02:40

       Great.

    9. CWChris Williamson1:02:41

       ... but presumably not something that's super solo, like, fucking archery or something like that?

    10. BABlaine Anderson1:02:46

        Yeah, you're just... So I am a big fan of you spending time in any place that makes you happy. Archery might be something great to highlight in your dating pr- uh, profile or talk about on dates, and that's going to be attractive to women, but you want to make sure your hobbies are not all solo hobbies that are gonna be great for talking about.

    11. CWChris Williamson1:03:04

        Mm-hmm. I go mountaineering-

    12. BABlaine Anderson1:03:05

        Yeah, and but not great-

    13. CWChris Williamson1:03:06

        ... on my own. I go rock climbing on my own.

    14. BABlaine Anderson1:03:07

        Yeah, but not great for meeting people and you wanna diversify. But rock climbing, gym, great.

    15. CWChris Williamson1:03:12

        Mm-hmm.

    16. BABlaine Anderson1:03:12

        A lot of those solo things can be turned into good places to meet people. One of my hobbies is baking bread, but-

    17. CWChris Williamson1:03:20

        You brought bread.

    18. BABlaine Anderson1:03:21

        I did. I did. (laughs)

    19. CWChris Williamson1:03:21

        Show me your bread. Get your bread out for the lads.

    20. BABlaine Anderson1:03:23

        It's not the time. (laughs)

    21. CWChris Williamson1:03:24

        Come on.

    22. BABlaine Anderson1:03:24

        I was gonna say, baking bread at home is not a good place to meet somebody, but I've been to cooking classes, bread... Like, I went to a sourdough pizza making class-

    23. CWChris Williamson1:03:32

        Mm-hmm.

    24. BABlaine Anderson1:03:32

        ... because I like baking bread, and there was lots of m- single men and women there.

    25. CWChris Williamson1:03:36

        Okay. And what's this? What have you got me?

    26. BABlaine Anderson1:03:38

        This is sourdough-

    27. CWChris Williamson1:03:39

        Okay.

    28. BABlaine Anderson1:03:39

        Just a classic homemade sourdough.

    29. CWChris Williamson1:03:42

        Mm-hmm.

    30. BABlaine Anderson1:03:42

        I made it this morning. Little ASMR in there.

Episode duration: 1:56:23