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How To Succeed When The System Is Rigged Against You - Patrick Bet-David (4K)

Patrick Bet-David is an entrepreneur, founder of Valuetainment, podcaster and author. Given that the world is in chaos, we would usually turn to our institutions and news organisations to make sense of what's happening. But trust in these institutions is as an all time low, so what can we do about it? Expect to learn why it’s actually important to have enemies, Patrick's thoughts on Ben Shapiro's new Snow White movie, what he thinks about Dana White's life philosophy, what it takes to actually impress people, why immigrants have such a strong work ethic, who actually runs the world, whether Tucker Carlson is going to break the internet and much more... Sponsors: Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first box at https://www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom (automatically applied at checkout) Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://www.shopify.com/modernwisdom (automatically applied at checkout) Get $500 discount on Fountain Life at https://fountainlife.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Extra Stuff: Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #patrickbetdavid #valuetainment #media - 00:00 Why You Need an Enemy 09:03 The Importance of Using Your Pain 17:13 The Difference Between Competitors & Enemies 32:57 Reacting to Ben Shapiro & Daily Wire 46:07 Why Current Dating Culture is a Mess 52:38 Is Society Focusing on the Wrong Things? 1:02:33 Patrick's Opinion on Dana White 1:09:32 How People Deceive Themselves 1:16:19 Is Chris Obliged to Have an Opinion on Everything? 1:27:50 Rising Scepticism of Institutions & Media 1:41:01 How to Grow Out of a Lazy Mentality 1:49:30 Giving Your Child the Best Opportunities for Success 1:59:10 Are the Benefits of Paranoia Worth it? 2:03:35 Who Really Runs the World? 2:13:30 Desire For More Vs Self-Love 2:21:47 Where to Find Patrick - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostPatrick Bet-Davidguest
Nov 6, 20232h 22mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

  1. 0:00 – 9:03

    Why You Need an Enemy

    1. CW

      You say that you're useless to the world if you're not competing and you need enemies to drive you. Why?

    2. PB

      Um, I think most people who say they don't have enemies, they probably don't want to tell others they have the enemy or they don't want to disclose it. They're great poker players. I don't know a single person that doesn't have an enemy. Uh, everybody does. Uh, we're, we're very good at concealing our insecurities, our emotions, our fears, our wildest desires, our, uh, uh, enemies or comments that rub us the wrong way, that wire us. Uh, we are very good actors, incredible actors, right? Now, if you have a long time of talking to somebody and you kind of watch them closely and the more they talk and then eventually you're going to find some leaks. You're like, "Ooh, I just found one right there. Boom, I found one contradiction right there. Boom, I found one..." And you're like, "Okay, interesting." We all have a little bit of that. But I do think that when you study the people that do something very big, I'm not talking about small, I'm talking really, really big. We're talking about some interesting people today. You and I have somebody we both respect a lot, Robert Greene. His books, you, I, I'm sure you love his books, I love his books. 33 Strategies of War, I couldn't put it down for two years straight. I listened to that book every day in my car straight every day. It was on repeat for two years straight. Why though? Because I innocently got into sales and I had a good time in sales and business after I got out of the military, and I wanted to be a body builder and then I realized I'm 6'4", it's not going to work for body building to win Mr. Olympia because everybody's 5'8", 5'9", 5'10". Maybe 5'11", Ronnie Coleman, but the 6'4" days are behind us. Even Lou Ferrigno didn't win at that height. Arnold did. And then when I got into sales and everybody was a fan, then I started competing, still a little bit a fan, but when I started the insurance company and then I started growing market share really, then a lot of those people that were fans then started undermining. And I said, "Got it. This is how it works. You can't be this naïve. You can't be this innocent." Competition's out there. If you want to kind of go out there and take market share from others and you want to get bigger, you can't expect for people to sit there and like everything you're doing. That's when I realized you got to choose your enemies wisely.

    3. CW

      People want you to do well, they just don't want you to do better than them.

    4. PB

      Yes. Yes.

    5. CW

      Yeah, it's interesting. There's this story of Churchill and he's showing a young MP around the House of Lords in the UK. This is before World War II. You can imagine that they're wandering through these dusty hallways. "Over there's the toilets and over there's where we have a cigar and blah, blah, blah, blah." Anyway, they go into the chamber, they go into the, the House of Lords, right? Uh, the difference, actually the distance between the two front benches is the same distance as a long sword held out at arm's length from both sides, which is a kind of a, a funny vestige of evidently what they were worried about in the Middle Ages and they've just continued to update, but they've never changed the distance of the front benches. Anyway, got this young guy who's probably full of testosterone and, you know, he's finally, he's here with Winston Churchill. They go in and this young MP starts gesticulating at the other side and he keeps referring to them as the enemy. Churchill turns to him and he says, "That's the opposition, dear boy. The enemy's behind you." And I love that story and the reason that I love that story is that it often reminds us that symbolically we believe that the biggest obstacle we have to overcome is out there and many times the call is coming from inside of our own house. I think that the worst enemy that many people have is the voice that's inside of their own head. Now this voice has probably maybe come-

    6. PB

      Mm-hmm.

    7. CW

      ... from the outside world-

    8. PB

      Mm-hmm.

    9. CW

      ... but we've now internalized it. You know, we have become our own worst enemy in some regards.

    10. PB

      Yeah. And by the way, that's one of the enemies. That's one of the enemies in... There isn't one. It's the famous, uh, uh, uh, Matthew McConaughey speech that he's given. "Hey," one guy asked him, "who's the greatest actor in the world?" And he says, "Hey, you know, I'll tell you and then, you, like, I want to meet the 35-year-old version of me. And hey, when I get to 35, you know, I want to and then 45." It's always looking forward to what that next better version of you is going to be. But at the end of the day even Alexander, one of his famous quotes- quotes is, "I have met the enemy. It is I." Right? And although that is one element of an enemy, that's great. We need that. Uh, Michael had it, Brady had it, Kobe had it, but there is a, there's a crazy psychologically you can call it, you know, psycho competitor that they're constantly in the search of recruiting their next enemy. It's, it's like, you know, life is boring if I don't have my next target. You know, I'm, I'm almost, you know, bad for myself if I don't have the next target, the next enemy. And if I choose it the right way, then I'm able to bring out a side of me I've never seen before.

    11. CW

      What's the function of an enemy?

    12. PB

      What is the function of an enemy? What is the function of, uh, falling in love? Why do you need to fall in love? Why do you need to have a wife?

    13. CW

      It's enjoyable.

    14. PB

      Okay.

    15. CW

      It's pleasurable. It's fulfilling.

    16. PB

      But what does it do to you though when you're in love? You know, you know how they say when a, when a person is in love and they go and test their brains and it's like somebody that's on drugs. You've seen this before, you probably read this before, right? Okay. So, but what's the risk of love? Heartbreak, losing years of maybe you love the wrong person, maybe they don't love you in return as much as you love them. Maybe they, you're going to give more than they're going to give you. Maybe a betrayal, maybe it's an act, maybe it's just good for the season, maybe they're going to change their minds if they really find out what you're all... There's a lot of risk to love. But why do we love? You know, it's a very unique relationship. That risk is exhilarating. It's exciting. You know, maintaining it, it's a lot of work.It's not easy. It's why nowadays most people don't want to get married. Nowadays, there's a movement of, "I don't want to get involved to getting married. I don't want to have kids. It's too risky. I want to live for myself. I don't want to have the responsibilities. I don't want to be heartbroken." Okay, great. I think, you know, one time a friend of mine and I, Arash, were in Italy. And I rented this place in, uh, uh, Tuscany, Italy. This is like 10 years ago. And we're staying there and Arash and I, when we're together, we like to debate. And we debate about anything. It doesn't matter what the topic is, anything, okay? He's like the Middle Eastern Bradley Cooper. Too good-looking of a guy. One of those guys. Kind of like you're a good-looking guy, he's a good-looking guy. So we have a three-hour drive to Cinque Terre, okay? It's a beautiful place you go to, and it's a long drive to go to it. You know what we're debating about? Love. Here's what the question was. Can you love somebody... You know, define love for me. He says, "Love is a feeling. It's emotion. It's this." I said, "Great." I said, "Say you're in jail. Your wife is somewhere else. How does she know you love her? How do you show her love? Is love a verb? Is love a feeling? Is love a noun?" We're having this conversation, right? And then you realize the risk of loving is worth it. I can't imagine living life without having that love. It introduces you to a person you've not met before. Man, a great enemy does that as well. A formidable enemy is going to introduce you to a person you've not seen before. By the way, could be ugly, could be scary, could be, "Oh my God, who is this person? Why are you acting like this? Why are you thinking like this?" So most of us, when we s- it's almo- almost like that, um, the movie Venom. It's one of my son's favorite movie, right? The venom comes in, it's like... There's an, there's an ugly side to it if you lose control of it, right? Then you become reckless, then you hurt people around you, then you're actually not good for yourself. You're destroying your own life. That's why the key word is what? Choose your enemies wisely. It's not ch- it's not have an enemy. It's choose your enemies wisely. If I choose the right enemy, and then I have this relationship with this enemy, sometime it's a one-month enemy. It could be a one-week enemy. It could be a one-day enemy. It could be a lifelong enemy 'cause it's yourself, 'cause that's a permanent enemy. And just like a love affair, there is an affair with this enemy. It's actually a beautiful thing.

    17. CW

      I love the idea of it bringing out a side of you that you didn't know, bringing out a person inside of you that you weren't aware existed. So I think there's a, um... There's definitely a function to... Get that into you. Go on, crack it in. There's definitely a function to, uh, to people looking to be well-balanced. Oh, try that. Oh, yeah.

    18. PB

      Delicious.

    19. CW

      Good.

    20. PB

      Wow. Fantastic.

    21. CW

      That's what I want to hear. Six months of taste testing, so I'm glad that it tastes good-

    22. PB

      (laughs)

    23. CW

      I had to fly, to fly to Liverpool to do that. There is definitely a culture on the internet

  2. 9:03 – 17:13

    The Importance of Using Your Pain

    1. CW

      of people wanting to ameliorate all of their difficult and uncomfortable emotions to transmute them into something closer to equanimity, right? Balance, peace, sanity.

    2. PB

      Mm-hmm.

    3. CW

      And I've said this a lot, and I think that I'm quite averse to, uh, conflict by nature. That's the way that I tend to operate. Uh, I, I often just bow out, opt for peace. Uh, and then two things changed. First off, I realized that I'm leaving an awful lot of motivation on the table-

    4. PB

      Okay.

    5. CW

      ... by not utilizing a very specific, very potent kind of fuel, because I was aware that over a long enough time span, I think it can be toxic. I think that if you're fueled by hate and distaste and fear and scarcity for long enough, it becomes something that damages you more than it helps you win. But it's unbelievably potent, especially in times of war. And the second thing that happened was I became a little bit more of a target for people's ire and distaste. And that meant that the underdog, loving support that everybody has for the person that's on the come up dissolved a little bit and started to evaporate, because people don't mind you doing well, they just don't want you to do better than them.

    6. PB

      Mm-hmm.

    7. CW

      You know, when you're on the way up, everyone roots for you because you remind them of their dreams. And when you're at the top, everyone tries to tear you down because you remind them of what they gave up on. So those two things, uh, changed. And I had a, a great conversation with Alex Hormozi that really drove this home to me. He said, "Use what you have." And a lot of people have more pain than they do pleasure. Don't use it for too long. 10, 15, 20 years, like that's how you end up having a breakdown or some sort of dependency or addiction or vice. But it's potent, so use it. And I think that, um, the insight of enemies can bring out a side of you that you are not aware, you weren't aware even existed, is kind of like alchemy, right? It's turning something that is both toxic and useless into something which is golden and your choice.

    8. PB

      Yes. And by the way, your eyes... Okay, I'm looking at your eyes right now. Your eyes don't tell me a guy that is just doing this to just have fun. Okay? Your eyes have a lot of fire in them. Okay? A lot of fire in them. Uh, i- uh, you, your eyes tell a story of maybe you have a crazy side, uh, side inside of you. Okay? Uh, a side that maybe you keep inside, okay? Where very few people maybe see. But that's why you're doing as well as you're doing. I walk into this place, I do a lot of podcasts. I walk into this place. You chose... I walk in, I'm like, "Sam, where are we?" He says, "Honestly, I don't know, but I think we're at the right place." We walk in and I see why you do what you do and the amount of time and resources and your team putting into hand selecting a different set. We don't do that. So what does that tell me? You're maniacal. You're detail-oriented. You got... You're moving up right now in the podcast across the board, competing with everybody. You have a vision. Maybe some of it we know-Probably all of it we don't know. Okay? Some of it's kept even the smiles telling a story right now. You're a perfect example of this, right? Uh, um, if you and I sit down, we get the benefit, like I don't know if you read Elon Musk's recent book or not, Walter Isaacson.

    9. CW

      Walter Isaacson, not yet. No.

    10. PB

      If-

    11. CW

      I've heard from every single person that's even glanced at the blurb that you need to read it.

    12. PB

      You need to read it. You're gonna flip out. You're gonna love it. You'll appreciate it for a guy that's wired like you. We get to judge Elon from the outside.

    13. CW

      Mm.

    14. PB

      Okay? Why would somebody... You sell a company for $180 million. You take $100 million, you put it in a solar or whatever. You take 70 in Tesla. You put 10 in, you know, another company, vice versa, whatever the structure. No, you put 100 million in SpaceX, hun- 70 million in, uh, in, uh, Tesla and 10 million you put it in solar. Then you're a billionaire. Then you want to do what? You want to go to the next thing? Then Boring Company, then you got Twitter. What for? And then you read his story in the book about his father on how his father was. Are you kidding me? No, I mean, if you... Some of the biggest people that we read about, we watch movies about, it's one of their two parents that did something to them. Um, I'm with Tom Brady a month ago. We have him at the event. And the, the f- the formula I see with a lot of people that do something big is three things. One, at one point in their lives, they, they experience unconditional love. 'Cause you need it. It's fuel. You have to have it, even if it's just from one person, okay? Unconditional love means what? You screwed up, you went to jail, you got a DUI, you got kicked out of school, you got expelled. Everybody ousted you and said you're a nobody, you're not going to amount to anything, you're a loser, you're this, but that mother there always said, "Honey, I love you." You can do anything to lose this one person's love. One person, that's all you need. You don't need 50 of them, just one. Unconditional love. Number two is you need somebody who brought unbelievable pain in your life that you loved. This is a person you and I loved that they destroyed our heart. We couldn't do anything to gain love from this person, nothing. Perform, tell them we love them, go above and beyond, give them money, buy them gifts, give them incredible experiences, become buff, have a six-pack, drive a Ferrari, have a Lambo, own a penthouse, have a yacht, be best friends with the best athletes, with billionaires. No matter what you do, this person brought you so much pain, you can never win this person over. It is a battle your entire life trying to win this person over. You're never going to do it. It's not going to happen, but you need that person as well. And you know what the last one is obviously, choosing your enemies wisely. You take a person that has those three combination... By the way, very rarely will they ever tell you the entire reason. Very rarely will they fully disclose everything. Some of them will take it to their grave with them. We will never know about it. But for someone to have the kind of a fire that goes years beyond 99% of people would have stopped, what's the reason for it? What else do you need? How many more accolades? How many more tens of millions of dollars? How many more cars? How many more houses? How many more top charts on podcasts, number one this? What's the reason for it? You know, i- i- it's a, uh... A- again, we're not talking about everybody. Most people will listen to this whole concept of choose your enemies wisely and they'll say, "That's hate. What a miserable life. What a this, what a that." No, most people chose the wrong enemies. The enemies they've chosen is about being entitled, is about being victims, is about feeling sorry for themselves, and it's destroyed them. It's stolen, stolen years away from their lives. So yeah, the, the way you're describing what you're saying, you know, you'll typically see a pattern with those three things of people, uh, who do something big, they experience those three, and unfortunately, the, the reason why I like Musk's book is when you read it, you see the pattern with all three. Unconditional love, mom and Kimbal, his brother. Unconditional pain, father. Choosing his enemies wisely, industry, traditional, you know, guys who are like, "This is the way we do with NASA." You know, governmental agencies, censorship, you know, establishment. He's just recruiting new enemies for himself every day.

    15. NA

      (laughs)

    16. PB

      It's like, "Boy, he needs more enemies and more enemies." But guess who's talking about him around the world? Everybody is. And 100 years from now, our kids, our grandkids will look back and say, "Man, who was this Elon Musk guy?" Unfortunately, we're not going to be around to talk about who he was, how, how, how we viewed him, but they're going to be watching plenty of documentaries and movies about a guy like that because he chose his enemies wisely.

    17. CW

      Feels to me, I've got in my mind the image of, uh, Pac-Man. You know, when he is able to eat the ghosts?

    18. PB

      Yeah.

    19. CW

      And the ghosts w- since were previously a threat to him now become fuel. And, uh, that to me is, uh... I learned the three most common traits of

  3. 17:13 – 32:57

    The Difference Between Competitors & Enemies

    1. CW

      elite performers, and it was a crippling sense of insufficiency, a superiority complex...

    2. PB

      Mm-hmm.

    3. CW

      ... and maniacal focus.

    4. PB

      Yeah.

    5. CW

      And I think that those three things map onto what you were just talking about there.

    6. PB

      Have you read this book?

    7. CW

      I've read the first half.

    8. PB

      Just so you know, that part from your podcast is in, in the book. You're in the book. Did you know this or no?

    9. CW

      No.

    10. PB

      You're in, your podcast is in the book.

    11. CW

      Is it real?

    12. PB

      Those three things you just talked about.

    13. CW

      Okay.

    14. PB

      It's in the book.

    15. CW

      Hell yeah.

    16. PB

      Yeah, hell yeah.

    17. CW

      Well, so those three things, right? "I am scared that I am not enough. I believe that I can do more."

    18. PB

      Yeah.

    19. CW

      "I have the impulse control to be able to keep me focused and keep me moving forward." What would you say to the people that say what you're describing sounds an awful lot like a competitor?

    20. PB

      Okay. Yeah.

    21. CW

      What's the difference between a competitor and an enemy?

    22. PB

      Yeah, it's not a competitor because to me... Uh, so, so in the last 20 some years, I have worked my tail off to figure out a way of writing a business plan that I can teach others how to write a business plan. So when you go buy books on business plans...It's all boring, technical. It's for a Fortune 500 company or somebody that wants to go raise capital, and it's so complex and dense. You will not think about a business planning book that you're going to walk away saying, "Here's how I can write a business plan that's simple, that I can look at it over and over and over again. Great, (claps hands) I'm good to go," right? There isn't something like that out there. This is supposed to be a business planning book that turned into an enemies book. So when I'm talking to the CEO, the, the publisher of Portfolio, okay, uh, Adrian, and we're going back and forth, we had five-hour Zooms, five one-hour Zooms just on the title. And in many cases, we would sit there for 15 minutes, no one's talking. We're all thinking-

    23. CW

      Who wanted what?

    24. PB

      Who won what?

    25. CW

      Who wanted what?

    26. PB

      So they wanted to figure out a title that was a straight-up title. Like, you know, it's like, well, How To Think And Grow Rich, you know, how to... J- just a very much of a business planning-

    27. CW

      Build-a-bus-... That's a business, yeah, yeah.

    28. PB

      ... being the type... Exactly, something like that. And then eventually I'm selling Adrian. I'm saying, "But that's not what it is. Th- this is much deeper than that. It has to do with enemies." And eventually, on the fifth time of choosing the title, guess who finally says the title of the book has to be Choose Your Enemies Wisely? Adrian does, from Portfolio. And I said, "That's the title."

    29. CW

      You won. It was a battle of attrition. (laughs)

    30. PB

      Y- it was a battle of attrition. (laughs) We

  4. 32:57 – 46:07

    Reacting to Ben Shapiro & Daily Wire

    1. PB

    2. CW

      Someone who I think is particularly good at creating enemies from modern pop culture and our industry is Ben Shapiro.

    3. PB

      Okay.

    4. CW

      What do you think about what he's doing at Daily Wire from a enemy perspective and, and generally?

    5. PB

      You're talking about recently with his feud with Tucker Carlson or period, generally?

    6. CW

      Everything overall.

    7. PB

      Um, I think Tucker's a true believer. I think Tucker is not somebody that if he's doing it intentionally to get under your skin, let's say that's 20%, let's say it's 10% because he's witty and he's smart and he's sharp. Let's-

    8. CW

      Tucker or Ben?

    9. PB

      I'm sorry, Ben, Ben Shapiro is who you're talking about, right?

    10. CW

      Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

    11. PB

      Let's say Ben is doing that 10 or 20% intentionally to get under your skin, okay? But this guy at a young age wanted to be Supreme Court, just, you know, he's been wanting to be that for a long time. This is not a regular guy. I think at 12 or 13 years old, he performed in front of a couple thousand people. His level of intelligence of how early on he got a degree, went to college, 15, 16 years old, did all the stuff that he did. So he's a 100% true believer. Does he have an element that he can talk to somebody and say, "I can murder you in a debate right now if you really want to go there?" Yes, he has that element as well.

    12. CW

      Yeah.

    13. PB

      Does he have a side of him that's a, maybe a bully type a little bit? Sure.

    14. CW

      Well, don't forget, during school, he was very heavily bullied himself.

    15. PB

      Right.

    16. CW

      Very heavily bullied.

    17. PB

      But that's what happens typically to people like him. But that may be the number one driver that he's continuing because he wants for the rest of his life for those bullies to talk about that Ben Shapiro used to be a classmate. What makes him go at the pace that he goes? You think it's just all these other guys that we see? There's no way. You think he would ever tell us? You think his own family knows that? Highly doubt it. It's to himself, many of these people that he has in his life. Anybody that goes at that pace, like Tucker Carlson today, I don't know if you saw the approval he got. I think they got $150 million today from some organization.

    18. CW

      Who did? Tucker's-

    19. PB

      Tucker Carlson.

    20. CW

      ... organization?

    21. PB

      Yeah, so finally today, the word is out that he raised money. It's, it's a hundred- it's a big amount of money that he finally raised today. Who's his enemy? He's got a very easy enemy. He's got Fox News, former employer as an enemy. He's got a lot of political people as an enemy, people who silence him as an enemy. You know how many enemies Tucker's got? You think Tucker needs another $300 million that he has in a bank account? I highly doubt so. He's doing it for a complete different reason because he wants to give the middle finger to 5, 10, 15 different people in his life. You just sense it with Tucker. And by the way, you know what's wild right now? Ben Shapiro went after Tucker this week.

    22. CW

      What happened?

    23. PB

      Because of, uh, uh, Israel. Tucker's position where he says we should focus on 100,000, uh, uh, people in America that are dying from fentanyl, not focused on what's going on in Israel and Gaza. And Ben Shapiro says, "You know, we can chew gum and walk at the same time, specifically from the moral standpoint, we can handle two different moral issues." But, you know, they're going back and forth, whether it's a seasonal thing or not, that's a complete different, you know, competition that we're talking about.

    24. CW

      But I suppose, uh, how would you say? Enemies of convenience are sometimes good for optics. You know, what have we just seen? Dillon Danis, Logan Paul-

    25. PB

      Yeah.

    26. CW

      ... KSI, Tommy Fury-

    27. PB

      Yeah.

    28. CW

      ... Jake Paul, Tommy Fury, Logan Paul, uh, uh, uh, Jake Paul and, uh... Who's the jujitsu guy? Stockton Slaps.

    29. PB

      Diaz.

    30. CW

      Thank you. Nate Diaz.

  5. 46:07 – 52:38

    Why Current Dating Culture is a Mess

    1. CW

      when it comes to the courting is stalking culture that we have at the moment, you've got a daughter, you've got young sons, you also spend some time on the Valuetainment talking about intersexual dynamics and what's going on between the sexes. What do you make of the current dating scene for men and women, and why do you think it's being demonized in some ways?

    2. PB

      From what perspective? From...

    3. CW

      I think that there is an anti-dating culture at the moment.

    4. PB

      Okay.

    5. CW

      I think that men and women are being s- encouraged to be treated as equals, uh, sorry, as adversaries, not as equals.

    6. PB

      Right, right. Um, I think it's transactional today. I think it's easy today. I think the swipe right community is, "It's Friday night, 11:00. Let me swipe right. I'm gonna use 20, someone's gonna get back to me. If they swipe right and they..." So, and typically I would go after an eight and a half, nine, but, "It's Friday night, I'm gonna go do a six and a half, seven. No one's gonna know. I'm gonna invite her back to my place. She knows if she's on Tinder, I'm not on Bumble," whatever these dating apps are. And so it's transactional, strategic. No one's gonna know. And literally not a lot of people are gonna know. You can really run through 20, 40, 50, 100 nowadays and it's not a big deal. Okay. So what does that do? Whatever's too easy to come, you devalue it. You don't value it that highly. You know, my era, you had to court, you had to prospect, you had to have scr- scripts, you had to build relationship, you had to follow up. We didn't have these types of things to do. We had MySpace. The last time I was single, there was MySpace.

    7. CW

      (laughs)

    8. PB

      Okay? I DMed, uh, my wife on MySpace. My wife and I knew each other for five and a half years. Eventually we're in Palm Springs for the first time. She's single, I'm single, ever. For five and a half years, we're both single. And, you know, we go on a date. First date, P.F. Chang's, December 29th of 2007.

    9. CW

      (laughs)

    10. PB

      Used... This is when P.F. Chang's used to be good when they had their, uh, their, their noodle soup. They don't have it anymore. Used to be, they took that away. Phenomenal item on the menu. I'm convinced they, they fell apart after that.

    11. CW

      (laughs)

    12. PB

      So anyways, we go to, uh, P.F. Chang's. By the way, if you're watching, bring it back. It was actually a very good item on the menu. So we go on a date, there's magic. She's smiling, I'm smiling. You know the smile that's kind of like, "I'm happy to see you." And then it's midnight, we're the last people left at P.F. Chang's. You know, waiter comes up to me and he says, "What's going on?" I said, "You know, my wife wants to file a divorce. She doesn't want to be with me anymore." He's like, "Your wife? Why?"Yeah, I come from a different religious background, and her family's convinced we got to split up. And he has no clue we're not married; we're just on our first date. He sits down for 15 minutes, convincing her to stay with me. If you love him, stay with him. It was a beautiful, you know, scene that we have. We go in the car; she goes home. The next day, I take her, we go do stairs in Santa Monica. We go to church; we go to Urth Caffe in Santa Monica. Then we go to Borders. I buy her a book on our second date called The 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged on Our Second Date by Norman Wright. She's like, "What's this?" I said, "I'm not looking for a girlfriend; I'm looking for a wife." I'm 28 at the time. Uh, I said, "I know exactly what I want. I've already done this exercise with three other girls. If you want to go through it, great. You need to answer the questions. Let's meet up when you're ready, and let's go through it." Week later, six hours at her place, one by one by one each question we go through. I said, "This is somebody I can date." And by the way, it's ugly because you got to talk about everything in a book. So today, that's not it anymore. Today, it's too risky. Today, it's you don't have access to that anymore. Today, percentages are coming out where marriages from dating sites have the least chance of working out versus marriages where you meet somebody through referral, where you say, "Pat, I've known Mary for seven years. I think you and her should talk. Now, I don't know what's going to happen. Let me set you guys up. Let's take our girls and do a double date." "Cool. Hey, I kind of like her. This is good." But you're telling me seven years, "I've only seen her be with one guy, Larry, five years. He was an asshole. Then she's been with this other guy two years, but she's single now." Now I have some kind of a history I'm dealing with, right? So it is a different climate. Now with kids, it's a different story on how you raise them. Uh, my, uh, uh, 10-year-old son, he's, he's been... He's had a girlfriend since he was five years old, literally at a w- birthday party at five years old. He's making out with this other girl at this Dave & Bus- Dave & Buster's. I'm like, "Babe, what is going on?" His mom is asking me, "You know, her kids are kissing." I said, "Well, I got a son. You got a daughter. You may want to stop your daughter, but I'm not going to stop my son." And so she's like, "Well, guys, guys, no, stop, stop." They don't even know what's going on. So there's... You need to have the conversation with kids early today. Uh, I remember having a conversation with my boys when they were six and five in the shower, and I said, "Okay, we need to have this conversation together." "What's that?" "Okay, stand up. That's your dang-a-lang. That's his dang-a-lang. This is my dang-a-lang. Only you get to play with your dang-a-lang. One day, you're going to find a girl that's going to play with your dang-a-lang. Till then, God gave you that dang-a-lang for only you to play with your dang-a-lang." Now, you got to see how they're looking at me, by the way. They're looking at me like this, and my wife leaves quickly. She's like, "Babe, this is unco- Babe, you can leave." So we have that conversation. I think you need to have the conversation today because most parents are unco- Middle Eastern. They don't have those types of conversations. No one's talking about sex and condoms and all this kind of stuff. You need to start early. But the dating scene today, very, very different than what it was when I was single. Uh, I, if I wanted to go date today and find a wife, my approach would be very different than what most people are doing today. Very different.

    13. CW

      We'll get back to talking to Patrick in one minute, but first, I need to tell you about Shopify. Shopify is the e-commerce platform revolutionizing businesses all over the world. Whether you're a garage entrepreneur or IPO ready, Shopify is the only tool that you need to start, run and grow your business online without the hassle. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the United States, and if they are good enough for huge brands like Gymshark, they are good enough for you too. Shopify puts you in control of every sales channel. So whether you're selling satin sheets from Shopify's in-person POS system or offering organic olive oil on Shopify's all-in-one e-commerce platform, they've got you covered. And once you've reached your audience, Shopify has the internet's best converting checkout to help you turn browsers into buyers. If you are someone who is looking to start a business online, Shopify is the only place to go. They are a one-stop shop to create your business. So if you're looking to take your business to the next level, you can sign up for a $1 per month trial period right now by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com/modernwisdom in all lowercase. That's shopify.com/modernwisdom. You say to be impressed by

  6. 52:38 – 1:02:33

    Is Society Focusing on the Wrong Things?

    1. CW

      the right things, and you just suggested it that as well. What are the right things? What should people be impressed by?

    2. PB

      In what area? In relationship?

    3. CW

      No, in life. In life. What is it that people miscellaneously being impressed by-

    4. PB

      Okay.

    5. CW

      ... that they shouldn't be?

    6. PB

      So your guy, Chase, right? Wherever Chase is. Okay, right there.

    7. CW

      It's right there. There it is.

    8. PB

      And then, uh, your, uh, where's, uh, uh-

    9. CW

      Dean.

    10. PB

      Dean. Where's Dean at? Dean is in the back?

    11. CW

      Yeah.

    12. PB

      Okay. You're telling me about Dean and what Dean does. He's been with you two years, three years.

    13. CW

      Six years.

    14. PB

      What, you said 2,500 episodes? And how many, uh...

    15. CW

      700 episodes, two and a half thousand videos for six-

    16. PB

      Two and a half thousand videos, 700 episodes?

    17. CW

      Yeah, yeah, yeah.

    18. PB

      Okay. What does that say about you? A lot. Okay. If somebody works with you for six years, what are they going to learn about you? Your temper, your expectation. "Hey, boys, are we ready?" This is all standard and expectsection, uh, expectation that you have. That is a reflection of he likes working with you. Why does he like working with you? I don't know, but you do something right for him to want to work with you. And then you told me what you're doing with him-

    19. CW

      Mm-hmm.

    20. PB

      ... the structure. That's private stuff that you told me. So you watch people. You watch values, principles. You watch how they treat people. You watch how people treat them. You watch how people respond to them. You watch how they are with powerful people. You watch how they are with regular, average day-to-day people. You, you look for that. Today, it's not the cars, the, the Lambos, the Ferraris, the houses, all that stuff. By the way, I'm a capitalist, and I love all that stuff, but I like that stuff because different reasons. I enjoy the game. I'm a kid. Uh, uh, I'm turning 45 tomorrow. I'm 44 today for the last day, and tomorrow I'll be 45. But there's an element of childlike stuff that brings out the 14-year-old kid when I look at a baseball card. I'm a kid when I look at a baseball card.

    21. CW

      Mm-hmm.

    22. PB

      The average person is like, "Who cares about baseball cards?" That's a different element. But the relationships, the way tre- they treat people, values and principles, what they value, you look for those types of things. And-Eventually enough will be revealed the more you pay attention.

    23. CW

      That's one of the by-products I think that is dangerous sometimes of people who play the game, that they get captured by the game, and they forget that it is a game, and they see the game as reality. They don't realize that there is something which is supposed to be deeper, which is hidden below the surface. So I did Rogan's show last year, uh, and I listened back to the episode. He said something on it that I really wanted to dig into, and he listened back... I, I, I listened back and, and pulled this, this really, really powerful insight. For me, it was one of the most powerful things I learned last year. And he said, "Just because something is hard to obtain does not mean that it is valuable."

    24. PB

      Just because something is hard to obtain doesn't mean it's valuable.

    25. CW

      Correct. Yeah. Just because it's difficult to get doesn't mean that it's valuable. Look at the car he's driving, look at the watch he's wearing, look at the girl he's with. These things were hard to obtain so you presume that they were valuable, but you didn't realize that what's genuinely val- valuable are friendships and relationships-

    26. PB

      Mm-hmm.

    27. CW

      ... and a comfort and a confidence in yourself and peace of mind and sanity and being able to positively impact the people around you. So it got me thinking. I've been really sort of reflecting on this over the last year, uh, and I did some research into the history of the pineapple. So, uh, 1492, Christopher Columbus lands on the island of Guadeloupe, and for the first time ever, a Westerner sees a pineapple, right? And you look at it, and it's kind of a royal fruit. It's got this stupid crown on its head. And he writes in his journal, he describes the taste of a pineapple. If you'd never had a pineapple before, it would blow your head off, you know? If you haven't got processed food, it's just so sweet.

    28. PB

      Oh, I remember the first time I had a pineapple, yes.

    29. CW

      It's insane.

    30. PB

      Of course.

  7. 1:02:33 – 1:09:32

    Patrick's Opinion on Dana White

    1. CW

      of someone who chooses their enemies tactically, Dana is not someone who's shy of a fight.

    2. PB

      He loves it.

    3. CW

      You know, if you were to think of a C-suite level fighter, Dana White is, is pretty well, and-

    4. PB

      Cream of the crop.

    5. CW

      Yeah.

    6. PB

      Yeah.

    7. CW

      You've, you've spent a good bit of time sort of orbiting that, that whole crew of people. What have you learned from your, uh, insights about the UFC and, and sort of what that says about Dana?

    8. PB

      Oh, listen. What I'm about to say about Dana is, some people are not gonna like it, but I'm, I'm gonna say it anyways. UFC is what UFC is because of Dana White. You can sit there and talk about all these fighters and, "Yeah, but, you know, if it wasn't for this guy, if it wasn't for that guy, if it wasn't for what this person did and that per-" Totally get it. Listen, different players come and go, right? Totally understand. Uh, Dana has made it about the sport. He never made it about the fight. Uh, he never made it about one fighter. He is very quick to call out anybody. It doesn't matter if it's the number one guy in the league, he'll call him out. Jon Jones, he'll call out Conor if he screws up, but he'll back him up to the highest level. He'll say, "That was some stupid shit he did." He'll sit there and straight up tell you what he likes, what he doesn't like. But everybody learned during COVID, he was the number one commissioner in all of sports. Every commissioner in America caved. NBA caved, NFL caved, MLB caved. Every commissioner caved except for one guy who had brass balls called Dana White who said, "I don't give a shit. We're going to find a place to do the fight." So during COVID, you know what's the only sport the world watched? We watched UFC. No one's watching a fricking football game with no fans out there in cardboards. What am I gonna do with cardboards? Oh, no, we're gonna watch... Hey, you can buy this seat for your face to be on the, you know, basketball game. Who gives a shit? It was the most boring finals Lakers won ever. They shouldn't even deserve to have won that final. There was no audience, nobody booing against you. But everybody realized, here's Dana as a commissioner, then it's everybody else. You're not at his level. He's a wartime, uh, leader as well as a peacetime leader.

    9. CW

      Mm.

    10. PB

      He's learned how to balance both.

    11. CW

      Dominance and prestige moving together.

    12. PB

      He said something in an interview, he says, "Listen, man, maybe it's just the fact that I'm getting old and I'm getting soft, but I have a hard time seeing what's going on with some of these guys." And, you know, in the way his personal life, when he went through that crisis, and the way he put it, he says, "You want me to be embarrassed? How much more embarrassed do you want me to be?"

    13. CW

      Mm.

    14. PB

      "You know how embarrassing it is to talk to my wife and my kids?"

    15. CW

      Mm.

    16. PB

      "You know how embarrassing that is? This is nothing compared to how embarrassing to have to face my kids."

    17. CW

      Mm.

    18. PB

      You respect that. You love that. You-

    19. CW

      There's a degree of clarity, especially to Dana, that is very rare. And I think that one of the things the UFC has done is make boxing, particularly, feel so antiquated and pedestrian.

    20. PB

      And the fact that KSI almost beat Tommy Fury. You know how bad that would have been for boxing?

    21. CW

      That's not good. That's not good. But he, KSI does not represent UFC either. Uh-

    22. PB

      H- he doesn't, but what would have happened if a YouTuber would have beaten a professional boxer with the last name of Fury, it's humiliating.

    23. CW

      Correct.

    24. PB

      Hu- And many people would have said he could have won on the points, but...

    25. CW

      What was it that you said? You made some comparison about jockeys and horses to do with Dana White.

    26. PB

      Yes, I made the analysis with Elon Musk where you had to bet on the... Oh, the same goes with Dana White as well, though.

    27. CW

      Yeah, yeah.

    28. PB

      So you got the jockey and the horse, okay? You got Dana White is the jockey. The horse is UFC. Elon Musk is the jockey. Tesla is the horse. Okay? So if tomorrow Elon Musk resigned from Tesla to only do Twitter, what happens to Tesla? It's gonna be disturbing for a lot of investors because a lot of people bought Tesla because it's Elon Musk. A lot of people are selling Tesla and getting rid of their cars like AOC-

    29. CW

      (laughs) Because it's Elon Musk.

    30. PB

      (laughs) Because it's Elon Musk ever since-

  8. 1:09:32 – 1:16:19

    How People Deceive Themselves

    1. CW

      "When you're winning, you're not as good as you think you are. When you're losing, you're not as bad as you think you are." What's that mean to you?

    2. PB

      Both of them lie. You know, both of them is exaggerated. You know, both of them, uh, are... When you, when you're winning, everybody's telling you how amazing you are. "Oh my God, let me tell you, dude, you, you know what? You're the best. You're amazing." You know, "You're just better than that guy, and you're better than this guy." And i- it always takes me back to that quote of Marcus Aurelius, who had a slave that would sit behind him and always whisper to him, "Hey."

    3. CW

      "You're just a man."

    4. PB

      "You're just a man."

    5. CW

      "You're just a man."

    6. PB

      That's right. 48 Laws of Power, right? "You're just a man. You're just a man. You're just a man." And then he would get up and he became the best emperor. What? 62 AD through 69, whatever the time is. And he becomes who he becomes, and we read about him now. You know, you pick up the book Meditations, you're like, "This is, like, mandatory reading for anybody."

    7. CW

      Yeah.

    8. PB

      What is this all about, right? You know, simple book, not that big. You can read it in one hour.

    9. CW

      Not meant for public consumption.

    10. PB

      No, it's not, it's not. And you're going through it saying, "What was this about?" Then you Google, "What did he mean by this? Wow, I didn't think about it that way." So... And then when you're losing, everybody tells you, "I told you shouldn't have done that. I knew you weren't going to make it. Yeah, as I, I, I told you, it wasn't for you. You weren't that guy," and you believe that as well. So both of them are, are lying. For me, politically, politically, I'm a capitalist, hardcore capitalist. I fully am a capitalist to the core. I think the free market will create solutions to problems. I think the free market's going to filter out all the fakers in, uh, pharma, in finance, in podcasting, in sports, in real estate, in insurance. It takes two decades, but it'll filter people out. It's not... It's got zero sympathy for you. It doesn't care to befriend. You can give capitalism as many compliments as you want, he doesn't feel it. He has no emotions. You can't flatter capitalism. All he's interested in is results. Are you good enough? Can you last? Can you recreate yourself? Great. But when it comes on to politics, I want to hear both sides, okay? I'm a Christian, but I held a podcast four weeks ago. I brought two Muslims and I brought two Christians, and I had them go at it for two hours, discussion. Because my, uh, uh, conversation was more about, "Okay, if we agree on seven different thing... we disagree on seven different things, but you agree on 23 different things, can we figure out a way to make this work?" Why do you feel the way you do? Why do you feel the way you do? And they go back and forth, and you're sitting there saying, "Okay, interesting." Today, Israel-Palestine, with what's going on with Hamas, complicated, lots of issues. You know, on one end, the question is where pro-Israel, where folks are going back and forth, you know. I'm a pro-Israel guy, I'm from Iran. When I lived in Iran for 10 years, Iran was safer when Reza Pahlavi was there because they were strong and they had allies with everybody, and Israel was safe, the Middle East was safe. You could go and say, "You know what, Patrick? Next week, you know where I'm going?" "Where are you going?""I'm going to Tehran, Iran, 'cause Frank Sinatra is performing there and I wanna do a podcast with Frank Sinatra." I said, "You're doing a podcast with Frank Sinatra in Tehran, Iran? Sick." You would have been able to say that in '76, in '75. So the Middle East was fairly peaceful. Not perfect, but it was peaceful. But at the same time, it... You know, you gotta ask the question, how did Israel, with the best intelligence, Mossad, not know that for one year Hamas was training for this? How did you not know that they went and built a city similar to the one that you haven't trained on how to break into homes and take hostages? You didn't know that? You really didn't know that. And intelligence gave you report from here, from Egypt, but you didn't know that. It's a fair question to ask. But when you ask that question, guess what people say? "What kind of a question is that? This is not the time to ask that question. Do you realize what they're doing to kids?" I don't support it. I'm not supporting any of that stuff. Then I got another question, 'cause Palestinians say, "That's exactly right. This was intentional by Israel." Then you know what I ask Palestinians? And they also don't like this question. Here's a question. If you're so peaceful, who knows more about Palestinians? Us, who live in America or UK, or your neighbor? If you live in a condo or if you live in a house, and you've been living in this house for five years or 10 years, you have a neighbor on this side, you have a neighbor on this side. You know when they do barbecues, you know how much they drink, you know who... Which in-laws comes in. You know the son when he sneaks in the girlfriend at one o'clock in the morning. You know the daughter when she sneaks out and changes her skirt and gets into a car with that bad boy and goes out and does what she does and she comes back at four o'clock. You know your neighbors. You see all their mess, okay? If, if Palestine and Gaza's filled with so many peaceful people, why is Egypt not taking them as refugees to go to Egypt? Egypt knows a lot about you. Why is it only 800 people? Why are they not letting a million people come to you? So somebody may say, "What a shameful question for you to ask. How dare you ask the question?" I think both questions need to be asked. What you do with it is up to you, okay? So for me, this whole concept of when you're winning, don't believe the hype-

Episode duration: 2:22:30

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