Mental Health, Touring, Family Life, Creativity & Anxiety - Underoath

Aaron Gillespie is the drummer, vocalist, and songwriter for Underoath. Tim McTague is the lead guitarist, backing vocalist, and songwriter for Underoath. Sex, drugs, and rock & roll, the dream every young man grows up hearing about. But is it all it’s made out to be? Aaron and Tim, from one of Metal’s most legendary bands, Underoath, have lived that life. The shows, the parties, the chaos, but also the sleepless nights, the fractured relationships, & the moments of wondering if it’s all worth it. Behind the noise & fame, what does the rockstar life actually cost? Expect to learn the origins of Underoath and what life is like on the road, how touring in a band affects your relationships with the ones you love and how it takes a toll on your mental health, what the rollercoaster of success is like and how the guys were able to deal with fame, the top 5 deathbed regrets of rockstars, what the songwriting scene is like In Nashville at the moment, how men can age peacefully & well, and much more... - 00:00 Origins Of Underoath & Life On The Road 07:17 How Touring Affects Relationships 19:55 Battling Mental Health Struggles 29:55 Difficulty Maintaining Relationships On Tour 36:49 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Success 50:57 The Reality Of Fame 1:14:23 How To Leverage Obsession To Your Advantage 1:39:58 How To Know What Your Priorities Are 1:44:53 The Top 5 Deathbed Regrets Of Fallen Rockstars 1:55:35 The Current Songwriting Scene In Nashville 2:17:02 The Challenge For Men Of Aging Gracefully 2:28:12 The Dynamics Of Aaron & Tim’s Relationship - Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular Flavours with your first purchase at ⁠https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom⁠ Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at ⁠https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom⁠ Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at ⁠https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom⁠ Get a 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at ⁠https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostAaron GillespieguestTim McTagueguest

Jun 25, 20252h 45mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Underoath Confront Fame, Family, Anxiety And Aging As Touring Lifers

Chris Williamson sits down with Underoath’s Aaron Gillespie and Tim McTague to unpack 25 years of life in a band: relentless touring, mental health struggles, family costs, and the weird intimacy of band life. They react to a powerful essay on touring and mental health, describing “chronic displacement,” arrested development, and the velvet prison of doing something you love for a living. Aaron opens up in detail about crippling health anxiety that drove him from the band at its peak, while Tim explains how a mix of faith, contentment, and open‑handedness keeps him from being defined by success. Together they wrestle with authenticity in art, the pressure of algorithms, aging gracefully as men, and accepting that every meaningful life comes with a price tag.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Touring can create chronic nervous-system overload and arrested development.

Constant travel, lack of routine, and swinging between stage euphoria and hotel-room isolation keep musicians in fight-or-flight and often stunt normal adult growth unless they consciously choose to mature.

Success in art comes with a real family and intimacy cost.

Years on the road mean missing half your kids’ lives, coming home to a household that adapted without you, and partners who must repeatedly harden and soften their hearts; this generates guilt and emotional whiplash on both sides.

Deep creative gifts are often inseparable from deep anxieties.

Aaron’s obsessive health anxiety and decades of ER visits are the dark side of the same precision and intensity that make him a powerful songwriter and performer; attempts to “cure” it ignored that it’s woven into who he is.

Authenticity is fragile in an age of dashboards and algorithms.

Streaming metrics and viral expectations push artists to chase what works rather than what’s true, yet Underoath’s proudest work is often the uncommercial, deeply personal songs no one asked for and fewer stream.

Comparison at scale is corrosive; contentment is a discipline.

Having artist analytics in your pocket and seeing younger bands explode makes it easy to feel like you “peaked at 19,” but Tim argues that remembering humble beginnings and holding success open‑handedly is the only antidote.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Touring is beautiful, but it can also dismantle you.

— Essay read by Chris Williamson

There’s a type of intimacy I have with my bandmates that I’m never gonna have with my wife.

— Tim McTague

It’s weird that this is our job… it’s like a velvet prison, a kind of golden handcuffsy type thing.

— Chris Williamson

My whole life I’ve been in fight or flight. I’ve probably been to the ER 250 times over anxiety.

— Aaron Gillespie

I don’t want to be that sad 55‑year‑old rocker who can’t let it go. I’ve had more than my fill.

— Tim McTague

The psychological toll of touring: chronic displacement, isolation, and arrested developmentStrain on relationships, marriage, and parenting from life on the roadHealth anxiety, panic, and nervous-system dysregulation in the context of successAuthenticity vs. algorithm: songwriting, first-album magic, and audience captureFame, comparison, and learning to be content with “enough”Band dynamics as marriage: democracy, conflict, intimacy, and loyaltyAging as artists and men: legacy, purpose, and breaking generational patterns

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