Modern WisdomOLLIE OLLERTON | Becoming Battle Ready | Modern Wisdom Podcast 169
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
130 min read · 25,986 words- 0:00 – 0:29
Intro
- OOOllie Ollerton
We're born into this world and everyone jumps into this skin and thinks that they're fucking experts. You know what I mean? We're given no manual, no nothing, and everyone straightaway is a frigging expert. And that's a dangerous place to be. When you think that you know everything, that's a dangerous place to be, because like you said before, I will, I will never stop learning, I will never fake perfection, and I will always want to be making mistakes.
- 0:29 – 4:51
Who wins a 100m race
- CWChris Williamson
I'm joined by instructor from SAS: Who Dares Wins and author of Breakpoint and Battle Ready, Ollie Ollerton. Ollie, welcome to the show.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Hello, mate. Thanks for having me.
- CWChris Williamson
Absolute pleasure to have you on. So first things first, the question that everyone has come to find out, who wins 100-meter race between you, Foxy, and Ant?
- OOOllie Ollerton
(laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
You know what? Everyone, everyone would expect me to say, well, I will win, but I wouldn't win that race, because I am more the, um, endurance athlete as opposed to the short, you know, short... Y- y- the likes of Ant, you know, he's, he's, he's got a, you know, punchy strength and so is Foxy, so, um... But then, me and, me and Billy are more the sort of endurance athletes, so-
- CWChris Williamson
Go for it.
- OOOllie Ollerton
... I'm gonna s- No, I wouldn't win that.
- CWChris Williamson
Got you. Okay. Well, go for... You can go for longer, but Ant can maybe go a little bit harder at a shorter pace. I get it. That's totally fine.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
So you were on with, uh, my warmer pack, Chris Evans on Virgin Radio this morning, which is good.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
So, man, I am super, super impressed with Battle Ready. I, I, uh, got it last week and I've consumed it in the space of six days, and it is phenomenal, bro. You should be really, really proud of it.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Thanks, mate. And, and, and the bottom line is, you know, it's, it's feedback like that that makes me proud of it. Because up until someone else gives you that... I mean, I, I got my first testimonial yesterday, and up until that moment, you don't know, you know. It's... Because it's life experience, you know, it's a bit like, y- you've got no measure or you've got no... Until someone actually tells you what it's done for them, you know, it, it... You s- Well, it's natural. We, we all, we all have that self-doubt, but-
- CWChris Williamson
Imposter syndrome comes in.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, yeah. No, exactly. But, um, yeah, just the, just the feedback from people is amazing. And actually getting that testimonial of you saying that to me right now is just phenomenal. So, um, I do believe it is, um, an amazing book because it's, it's not, it's not a theory, it's life experience. It's what I went through, it's the process. I'm living proof of the, of the process that I've put in that book.
- CWChris Williamson
I couldn't agree more.
- OOOllie Ollerton
You know, and I wanna share that with everyone.
- CWChris Williamson
Couldn't agree more, man. So why did you write it?
- OOOllie Ollerton
I wrote it for that very reason. I mean, I went to Thailand, um, you know, after the... One of the most phenomenal things I did in, back in 2011 there, uh, thereabouts, was I went... You know, I've s- I've spent my life bouncing all over the world as a kid, joined the Special Forces thinking this, that would be the be all and end all, that would tick every box, I would be complete, I would be fulfilled, and it wasn't. It wasn't. And then I stumbled across, um, uh, something that was happening in, um, Southeast Asia, and it was, um, working with a, with a group that were, were busting kids out of child prostitution and, um, uh, sex slavery, s- you know, selling kids into sex slavery and, and prostitution. So we're busting the kids out of that a- and putting them back on track and giving them a, you know, a proper... Th- they were having a, a proper life where they were educated by sponsors and everything else. So what that did, I had no idea it would do that for me, that made me realize... I felt fulfilled, absolutely humbled, fulfilled, and amazed by that experience. Um, and that's when I understood the power of helping other people. Even when there's no real benefit to me. I mean, I, I was on, I wasn't on a wage doing that. I self-funded the whole operation. And, um, just the... Money can't ever pay for what that gave me. Helping other people... And when you look at human evolution, the species evolving, I think we're naturally meant to feel good when you help someone else, because we're giving them a leg up. You know what I mean? It's, it's, it's a nat- We're meant to feel good about that. So that, for me, was the start of something that it was an epiphany, it changed my life, it made me understand the power of helping others. And now, to be quite honest, I mean, my whole business, everything, Breakpoint and everything we do, is all based around helping other people. I actually feel selfish that I can help someone else. You know, when someone says thank you to me, I don't like that. I'm the one that s- should be thanking you.
- CWChris Williamson
At a big 30,000-foot view-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- 4:51 – 9:02
Describe your career up to Thailand
- OOOllie Ollerton
- CWChris Williamson
... how do you describe your career up to Thailand, for someone who doesn't know who you are?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Okay. Well, 18 years old, joined the Royal Marines, um, and, um, had sort of a, um... I was disillusioned. I got into the military and it wasn't exactly what I thought. Again, that was, that was, that sort of typifies my whole military career. But then I was always chasing something, you know, better. It's g- It's, it must be better and that's why, that's why I sort of pushed myself towards Special Forces. Doubted my ability to ever achieve it, but, um, I, I did it. Um, and it was always some- I was always chasing that dream. So basically, joined the Special Forces at 24 years old, um, I was part of the SBS, so that's the Special Boat Service. So it's like the SAS, but we do everything, um, there's a lot of water involved and, uh, and stuff. Um, so, and then, again, not fulfilled. I then left in 2000. Um, I've always had this desire to create my own business. Um, I've, that's always been my motivation. So I kind of did a few things, but the trouble is, you know, you're so...... when you leave the military, there's such a massive void, and you really underestimate what you took for granted, you know, the camaraderie and everything. Um, so you ca- you come out to a, a, a massive void, and then before you know it, the world that I said I'd never go back into or go into, uh, swallowed me up, and that was as a contractor. Um, I found myself out in Iraq 2003 to 2007, um, and, uh, probably, that was probably a lot, you know, quite a horrendous time to go- b- be quite honest. It was, uh, in a war zone for that long, it's not good for your mental state. So, uh, I kinda got, um, you know, I was heavily, um, I had a, had a lovely relationship with alcohol, ended up taking steroids at one point, the old alpha male world, and also I then got hooked on Valium. You know, it, it was a mess. It was an absolute mess. Um, but I w- I was, I was functioning, you know? It, it worked, you know? I made it work. Um, I came away from that, you know, my mental state wasn't great, and then I ended up, you know, again, I said, "I'm not, you know, I need to redefine myself, find something new, get a normal job," and then realized pretty shortly I couldn't do normal. (laughs) So, and then that's, that's when I came across The Gray Man, which was the, uh, the, uh, the operation to, to rescue kids from Thailand. Um, ended up going over there, doing that. Sunk all my money into that that I owned in Iraq, and, um, and then that ended abruptly because of a political situation, um, which was horrendous. But one thing I took from that, like I said previously, was the fact, you know, helping others was something that really meant something to me. I felt fulfilled. Um, and, and then I came back again (laughs) . I was actually living in Australia at that point, um, back in 2000 sort of 12, and, uh, I thought, "Right, you know, I'd, I'd been chased out of Thailand." You know, it was arrest on sight. We had to escape over the Burmese, uh, border.
- CWChris Williamson
Shit, the best.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Um, yeah, it was, it was pretty hairy. And then we got back to Australia, I was like, "Right, you need to grow up." (laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
"You need to grow up. You need to get yourself a real job." So, uh, and, and I tried it again, and, uh, I've, I've got a really good job w- working f- in oil and gas, but I was like a caged animal, you know, and it was like, um-
- CWChris Williamson
What were you missing?
- OOOllie Ollerton
I was just, I was just missing that adventure, the adrenaline, you know? I was still at that, I was still... You know, when I look back now, I was, I was quite a mess at that stage. And, you know, from - and I know we're gonna talk about this - but, um, you know, I did, um, from a, from an incident that happened in my childhood, which sent me on a path of absolute destruction, chasing mayhem and death all my life, I don't know how I've made it through, but, um, I was still living that. You know, I was still chasing this extremeness, this, this ex- you know, everything had to be an extreme. I was chasing danger, no consequence, no, no consequence, no... Yeah, it was just a, it was a mess.
- CWChris Williamson
Yeah, th-
- OOOllie Ollerton
So I was still in that world.
- 9:02 – 16:46
Adrenaline of suffering
- CWChris Williamson
S- seeing even the things that you did that were productive and growth-oriented, uh, I think-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
Was it canoeing or rowing that you got into real hard?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
You got into CrossFit super hard.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
You, you've just chosen reckless suffering.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
Even in areas that are, like, growth, you know?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
You're like, "Oh, I'll just bin myself in a CrossFit workout, bin myself on this rowing thing."
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
"I'll go all over Australia, up against some freak savages from the fucking outback, you know, rowing, rowing against them." (laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
(laughs) Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
So, uh, you, you can definitely see when reading the book, there is a, a unifying thread, right, between everything.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
It's always that, that search of, of adventure, of adrenaline, of suffering as well, in a way that seems to be, uh, quite cathartic to you. That it's like a release, right?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
Um, so you, you've touched on it there. Can you tell us the story from the circus when you were seven years old, 10 years old?
- OOOllie Ollerton
No, it was actually, yeah, 10 years old. 10 years old, it was, um, a bizarre experience, but, um, yeah, and a life-changing one. But, um, this is in Burton-On-Trent. Those that don't know Burton-On-Trent, it's like right in the middle of the UK, you know? It's like, there's no, there's, you know, it's, it's, it's a land, we're land-based, you know? There's no sea for miles around, and, um, so it was a boiling hot day, 10 years old. Someone came knocking on the door. It was my brother's, uh, it was my brother's best mate, and, um, he came round asking if we could, uh, asking if we wanted to go swimming. Mum was like, "Yep." Couldn't wait to get out, out of her hair. And, um, and then we, we set off. And as we got down to the swimming baths, we actually saw that the big top was setting up in town, and we're like, "Wow, the, the Chipperfield Circus is in town, amazing." So, excited young boys, we're like, our, our, our walk turned into a, into a run, and before we knew it, we were down at the big tops. And, um, saw the first guy down there, said, "Look, can we have a look around?" And, um, he said, "Yeah, yeah." He said, "We're just setting up. There's animals out, but they're on chains. You'll be okay." And, um, and that's, that's it. We went into the big top, and I can remember, I got separated from my brother and his mate, and, um, and there, I don't know what drew me towards it, but on the other side, there was an opening, and, um, I, I s- I was sort of drawn to that opening. And as I got to it, the sun hit me in the eyes, um, I couldn't see for a moment, and then as my vision cleared, there it was, sat in front of me. About 10, 15 meters away was something that just amazed me, and I was absolutely compelled to go towards, and that was a baby chimp. And, um, before I knew it, you know, I walked over cautiously, and there it was. You know, for me, I bought up with, with Tarzan, Johnny Wiseman, black and white films, you know, and, uh, for me, that was a little piece of Hollywood sat right there. It was amazing. And, um, next thing, I'm stood over it, 10 years old, and, uh, it s- it looked up at me with these beautiful eyes, and it was a moment we connected. And it sounds weird, I know. But we connected, and, um, it was, it was just surreal. Baby chimp goes down, picks up some food off the floor, starts passing it to me.... and I'm like, "Wow, this is a-
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
... this is a male." I felt like a miniature, like, David Attenborough.
- CWChris Williamson
Yeah. (laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
And, uh, you know, so it's ... I thought, "Gee, I'm not eating that, it's disgusting." So, I was just going through the motions, throwing it over my shoulder, and it probably only went on for 20, 30 seconds, but it seemed like a lifetime, you know. This was... I, I was brought up with cats and dogs. This was a chimp, you know, middle of b-
- CWChris Williamson
Mm-hmm.
- OOOllie Ollerton
... middle of the UK, a chimp. And, um, all of a sudden, you know, it was a beautiful blue skies, and the serenity at that moment was cut like a fighter jet racing through the sky, uh, as I heard this roar. And it... I can... I'll never forget it, I can still hear the roar to this day. Heard this roar, and, um, in the shadows under a truck in the... you know, behind the chimp, I could see something moving. And, um, those shadows, that movement then became clearly what was about a 50 kilo... I don't know. I, I don't know what size it was, but it... I didn't get a chance to weigh it, but it was bloody big. And, uh, it was, it was the mother, it was the mother, you know, it was the baby's... the chimp's mother, um, which then MAC-10 started coming at me, you know, the old sideways chimp movement.
- CWChris Williamson
(inhales deeply) Yeah.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yep, exactly, you know, just raging, absolutely raging. And I'm like a deer in the headlights thinking, "Oh, my God." And at the points I thought, you know, "This is the moment you should move," um, you know, this chimp just fired straight up into the air. Uh, I was watching this thing because it was just rising higher and higher in the air. The blue sky turned to black as this thing landed on me, and then started going to town on me. It pinned me down to the floor. Um, I was pinned to the floor, and it was like a drummer in a rock band, you know, its fist coming down onto me. It was te- it was tearing chunks out of me, um, and it was just... it was just, it was mental, absolutely mental. I'm... lay there, and I just... I can remember thinking, "I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Unless I do something, I'm gonna die." And it was in that moment that I knew that I had to take a step into the... I had to take a step into further discomfort for any chance of living that day. Okay? So, I managed to, uh, sort of move my body just a few, uh, inches, and I dislodged the chimp. I managed to get my knee up to my chest. I kicked the chimp in the, uh, in the chest, and, uh, it just gave me a couple of feet just to get away.
- CWChris Williamson
Mm-hmm.
- OOOllie Ollerton
And then, this chimp gets back to its feet, and it's coming at me, you know, final attack. Now, it's got... it's got blood dripping from its teeth. It was my blood. Um, and, um, and then it came at me, and then a chain caught it round the neck just before it got to me. Um, and I was... stood there, you know, 10-year-old, absolutely in a state of shock. Um, my arm was like a, a, you know, a, a bone that had been chewed by a dog or like... it was just a mess, you know. It's like, um... because it, it was, it had been ripped apart. Uh, there was blood all over me, and, um, it wasn't a pr- it wasn't, it wasn't a good th- a good sight. Um, the whole place erupted, and, um, and then they got me off to hospital as quickly as possible, uh, where they stitched me up, and, uh, (inhales deeply) and that was that, really. That was, that was the, the, uh, that was the attack that happened at 10 years old, you know, and, yeah, it's-
- 16:46 – 20:31
No ones growth finished
- CWChris Williamson
I want to kind of jump right ahead to where you are now. And e- e- no one's growth's finished, right? You know, you're not a-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... fully self-actualized human, and you never will be. You'll be growing for the rest of your life. But the difference that you've made from the, um, dysfunctional way that you were moving through the Special Service, then when you went into doing your more contract work, then in the Thailand, then being lost and all this sort of stuff. As you say in the book, this is a journey of growth that you went through. You've now managed to restructure that into what is- what reads essentially as an instruction manual. Um-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
And it's like a... it's like an activity book for adults that want to do behavior change and personal growth, which I think is really cool. So, you've got bunches of exercises in here. All of them are, are ways that can serve you, that can help you to move yourself forward, and things like that. But there's, um... before we get into it, do you know Jim Rendon's book, Upside? It's about post-
- OOOllie Ollerton
No, I don't.
- CWChris Williamson
... post... So, I'll send you a link to it once we're done.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Okay.
- CWChris Williamson
Um, and this struck me straightaway, right? So, um, it's about the new science of pro- post-traumatic growth, and-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... he reports that up to two-thirds of trauma survivors experience post-traumatic growth, not post-traumatic stress. Um, they are benefiting from the crisis in their lives by using them to become stronger. Rendon found that trauma can drive us to become better, to focus more on relationships, become more spiritual, and become more grateful. And I've never seen more of a, a perfect example of that than-... the situations you've been through.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. No, I, I th- I think that's absolutely brilliant, but I think it takes a lot of time before... I think a lot of people with trauma, they're, they're, they're still trying to be the person they w- were before the trauma, and they're fighting to be, and that's where the conflict comes from. You know, they're tr- you're never gonna be that person again. You're a different person. So it's about, you know, and I, I talk about this in the book, it's about being able to surrender to yourself to allow this stuff to flow. But the more, you know, ............................ are a wonderful thing, but it's, it's just a Pandora's box of confusion unless you actually understand what's going on in, up, on it, on up here, um, and certainly that was, that was going on for me, you know. I'm, I'm fo- I'm 49 years old now. It took me until I was 43, I was 43 when I sort of did that boot camp.
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
It took all that time. You know what I mean? And I'd not started living properly until I was 43.
- CWChris Williamson
Wow.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Absolutely not. Um-
- CWChris Williamson
Life doesn't come with-
- OOOllie Ollerton
So...
- CWChris Williamson
... an instruction manual, you know? Like, there, there is no-
- OOOllie Ollerton
No.
- CWChris Williamson
There's, there's no instruction manual that comes with life and all of these approaches, you know, all the people that I've spoken to, people that you've quoted in the book, people like James Clear or Aubrey Marcus, or, uh, John Boyd, you know-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... like all of these different guys that are, that are masters of behavior change, they're just giving us tiny little glimpses into what we can be and how we can operate, and, you know, this is why it is a never-ending quest, but which i- which is both beautiful and, uh, and unfortunate, I suppose. So let's, let's get into it. There's four main sections in the book, right?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
And the first one is, what are some of the barri- uh, sorry, what is, it's the call to change. So what is-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... what is the call to change?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Um, yeah. First of all, before we go into that, I wanted, I wanted to just say that, you know, I think you came up with a great analogy of the book there. Um, but, you know, I've been talking obviously a lot, you know, I've been on radio, been on th- you know, quite a lot of press around the book and stuff, and do you, uh, do you remember the Haynes Manual that you used to get for a car?
- 20:31 – 22:59
The Haynes Manual
- OOOllie Ollerton
- CWChris Williamson
No.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Right. Okay. So back in the day, uh, when you used to get a car, you used to get a Haynes Manual, and a Haynes Manual was basically for the layman to understand, um, the mechanics of that vehicle. It was for the, it was, it, it allowed the owner to do a fault diagnosis, it allowed them to be able to look at ways that they could fix the car, buy some extra parts. Even with little or no experience, it would tell you what you needed to do to get the car working properly and get it back on track and make it the best version of itself. Now, that's what they used to do with cars. Now, I look at this book as exactly that. This is the Haynes Manual for the mind, body, and soul. You know what I mean? And you're so totally right in what you say. The thing is, we're born into this world, and everyone jumps into this skin and thinks that they're fucking experts. You know what I mean? We're given no manual, no nothing, and everyone straightaway is a friggin' expert. And that's a dangerous place to be. When you think that you know everything, that's a dangerous place to be, because like you said before, I wo- I will never stop learning, I will never fake perfection, and I will always want to be making mistakes.
- CWChris Williamson
I, I think, uh, some people might think that they're experts, but far more people, in, i- in my experience, just operate on their programming and presume that it's okay. And, you know, it's, it's okay in that you're not going to get hit by fucking open traffic, but-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... that's, you know, that's the limit. It's like you're just existing.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
The best that you can hope for, if you don't learn to deprogram all the biases and all of the social constructs and all of the things that the ego is giving you and all of the trauma that you've got from back in your life, even if you don't think you've got any trauma and all that sort of stuff, the best that you can hope for without deprogramming that is to become an effective slave to the way-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... that your brain wants to operate. And that-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... is no life. That is no life.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Uh-
- CWChris Williamson
And this is the, this is the beauty, to me, of personal development and of behavior change. And I hate the fact that America's fucking self-help community, wanky, uh, world has bad-mouthed or has, has, um, how would you say, it's tarnished the image of what-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... of what is making people better, you know? And-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... like I say, you've brushed across all of the big concepts in this book. So-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... let's get, let's get into then, the call-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Sure.
- CWChris Williamson
... to change. What is it?
- 22:59 – 25:51
The Call to Change
- CWChris Williamson
- OOOllie Ollerton
The call to change really, um, you know, and I... Throughout the book, I'm tal- I'm talking to people through my personal experience and what I actually did. But really, the call to change is when we as humans s- you know, whe- when things aren't going right in our life, when we've got that internal conflict going on, you know, we're not happy, we wanna be somewhere else, we're sick of the same replo- repeat, uh, uh, uh, habit loops, we start comparing with other people. And that is a dangerous place to be because you, if you start comparing to someone that is so far above you on .........................., you know, their vibration is so much different than yours, it's too hard a bridge to gap. You, you make it unrealistic and it, basically, that just turns into jealousy, that turns into, you know, all the wrong things. So really what you need to do straightaway is level with yourself, understand exactly who you are, where you are, not compare yourself to other people, and that is the foundation for growth. If you're doing it because you wanna be like someone else, you wanna, y- you know, you're jealous that they've got a nice house, a nice car, a nice this, a nice that, it's the wrong place to start. So it's really about understanding exactly where you are, um, and for me, at that stage, you know, the call to change was, "Look, my, I am sick of this shit. I am sick of repeating the same cycles of life."... I'm sick of wanting something and never achieving it because I'm always falling back into the same old habit loops. Negativity, um, that stands in our way and, and enforces the, the, the habit loop. Uh, and it's really, it was just being honest with myself. It was being honest of where I am and understanding that I needed to change. You know, it's looking, for me, it was looking at, um, you know, all the things, all the factors that are affecting me. And, uh, and like I, I keep, I s- I've been saying repe- repeatedly about this book at the moment, there was the, um, there was the option to pull the book at this time because of, because of isolation. And we sh- well, I said, "The book was written in a period of isolation." You know, and that's why I think at the moment, you know, that's what I had to do. What I did, uh, I put myself into a boot camp, a mental boot camp. I had, um, been strangely gifted a house by my mom, and I had a spare house in the UK when I came back to the UK. I had nothing else. Um, and basically, I was in, I had such an a- an ama- I was, I was like a blank canvas. And I was sat there thinking at that time, a lot of people would have said, "That's a shit situation to be in." But I looked at that as thinking, "Wow, how many people get to do this? I've got two months, or whatever it was, to be able to sh- just sit there, have no distractions, and focus on me."
- 25:51 – 28:28
What You Can Control
- CWChris Williamson
Serious, man.
- OOOllie Ollerton
When ... Yeah. When do you ever get that opportunity? And that's-
- CWChris Williamson
Right now. Right now, that's when (laughs) you get it.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Exactly. (laughs) Exactly. It's right now, but you won't ever get this opportunity again. You know, sitting there thinking that the world's ending and all that kind of stuff, that's not serving you. What, what you can control is yourself. And the people that are sat there all day long at the moment, looking at their phones, checking Instagram or egogram, I call it, checking that all day long, that is not gonna ... You're not gonna come out the back end of this as the best version of yourself. Far from it. So basically, that was, that was it for me. It was about understanding where I needed to change, what I needed to focus on, and really just leveling with myself and going through a process. This was it for me, this ... And this is a theme throughout the book. Forget what's going on here when it comes to your emotions, comes to your feelings. When you come up with an idea, that's from the frontal cortex, you need to think about that enough so it loads into your subconscious. But basically, it's that same frontal cortex that comes up with the negativity when you actually come to execute the ideas. Now, if I use running, for example, I wanna be a, you know, I wanna, I wanna, I know that running every day is gonna make me fit, and, and next year, I wanna run the London Marathon. You're not gonna feel like doing that. You're not gonna ... You know, y- once you start thinking about it, your mind is wired to actually steer away f- from any kind of stress, any kind of discomfort. And people that wake up the next day going, "Oh, you know, I nearly started, but I just didn't feel motivated," you're not gonna feel motivated. You have to forget the emotion, forget the feeling, and you have to execute a plan that is based around a process. So that really, for me, that was understanding where I was, what I needed to do, and putting a process that was void of feelings and emotions, and stick to it and remain non-judgmental throughout. And that was really the start of it, and that was really the call to change-
- CWChris Williamson
Yeah.
- OOOllie Ollerton
... identifying the issues, understanding what I needed to do, and lay out a plan of how that's gonna work.
- CWChris Williamson
I get it, man. We do not rise to the level of our goals. We fall to the level of our systems.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, exactly.
- CWChris Williamson
Which is the James Clear-ism. Um, what happened-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Can I just say something, though?
- CWChris Williamson
Hit me.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mate, I absolutely lo- on your Instagram today-
- CWChris Williamson
Yes.
- OOOllie Ollerton
... "The magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding." I love that.
- CWChris Williamson
Shout out. I've just taken that top off. I've just taken that T-shirt off. Shout out Built Up North, uh, for that T-shirt. Yet another great one from them. They also have another one that says, "This is not the fucking cuddle club." So it's a CrossFit, CrossFit clothing company, but yeah, "The magic you are looking for is in the hard work you're avoiding."
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. That's-
- CWChris Williamson
That's it, man.
- OOOllie Ollerton
... brilliant.
- CWChris Williamson
Um-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Love
- 28:28 – 30:38
Finding Your Purpose
- OOOllie Ollerton
that.
- CWChris Williamson
... what happens if you don't choose a purpose for your life?
- OOOllie Ollerton
One will be chosen for you. You know what people, people understand that, people don't understand? You know, it's like goals and purpose are very similar. You know, your purpose is, is basically ... Well, understanding your purpose is not your goals, actually. Your goals are on your way to find your purpose. But for me, it's, um, you know, when you understand your purpose and, and, and people ask the question, "How do you find your purpose?" Now, when you've got a bit of experience and a bit of age on your side, you can actually go back through your life, and, and it's quite easy to identify at what point you were happy, what, what made you, you know, what w- what was a happy part of your life, what made you happy, what made you fulfilled. And, and that's really what you should be doing moving forward. You know, if it's something you don't like doing, then, then try to avoid doing it in the future. If you're young, you haven't got the benefit of that. So basically, you really need to go out there and start getting, you know, really stepping to, into that short-term discomfort to get as many experiences as you can to understand what your purpose is. So really, um, you know, it, it's a, it's about understanding, finding your purpose, first of all, and then it's about, um, having a, having a system of goals in place. And I've actually-
- CWChris Williamson
Couldn't agree more.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Uh, and, and basically, it's, it's, it's, it's having those. But if you don't ... People s- in self d- you know, in this self-development world, and people say, "Who's, who here's got goals?" And, you know, you get some people, "Yes, I have," you know. People that don't have goals don't think they have, they do have goals. Regardless of whether you like it or not, us, our subconscious is a goal-driven, goal-getting machine. And it will f- focus on getting exactly what you focus on, what your dominant thoughts focus on. So if you haven't got a chosen goal, it will come up with something that you think about, you know, that's your dominant thoughts. And nine times out of ten with 70,000 to 100,000 thoughts going round our head every day, you are gonna end up...... with a load of crap that you don't want, very much based on the facts as well, or amplified by the fact we are negatively geared. And I'm
- 30:38 – 33:11
Negativity Default
- OOOllie Ollerton
sort of jumping ahead because this is the barrier change.
- CWChris Williamson
Mm-hmm. Hey, I've got it. Talk to us-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... about the negativity default. I've got it. That's the next, that's my next question, Olly. You're reading my notes. Stop reading my notes, man.
- OOOllie Ollerton
(laughs) We've got the same book.
- CWChris Williamson
Yeah, we do.
- OOOllie Ollerton
(laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
Oh, fuck, that's exactly why. Yeah, the negativity default.
- OOOllie Ollerton
(clears throat)
- CWChris Williamson
I absolutely love it.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
So tell, tell us about that.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. It's, uh, it's, it's really, for me, in that boot camp, I wanted to understand, and like I said to you, said before about the Haynes manual, I don't, you know, a mechanic can't fix a motorbike unless he understands how it works, what's going on, and, uh, and, and basically understands the workings of that machines, of that machine. From then, he can do a diagnostic, then he can fix the problem. For me, it was about understanding what's, why, why am I thinking negatively? How did I go from being a special forces hero to zero? To u- um, actually subzero? How did that happen? And I couldn't understand how that, you know, I couldn't understand what happened in between and how I could fall down so far. And then I real- you know, I started looking at the fact, why do I think these negative thoughts? Why do, why does that happen? So I started to read a lot into psychology, but I really do think it wasn't about reading, it was about learning to understand myself and what was going on. I really looked into the back- you know, I, uh, looked at, uh, to sort of into evolution of the species. And, and whether you like it or not, our primal instincts are the things that make us thrive today. So really, um, you know, you imagine a caveman. A caveman never came out of his cave and went, "Hmm, right, let's have a look. I'll, let's... I wonder what amazing opportunities are gonna come my way today?" They were like that, "Where's that fucking saber-toothed tiger? Where's that monkey?" (laughs) But, you know, they were always looking for what was gonna go wrong because that's the thing that kept them alive, and till today, we're still geared that way. Everyone can relate to the fact whenever something gets, when any kind of challenge that they doubt, they can, you know, is a bit of a challenge, they're always looking for what could go wrong. It's just our natural default. When it comes to evolution of the species, there's no actual benefit to being positive. Being positive and have a positive mindset is not gonna save you from being eaten by a tiger. So really, it's about understanding that our system is based on negativity. That's just the way we are. But once you learn to appreciate that and not think that you are just a singular person out there that is subject to a negative mindset, and that guy over there who, who seems to win every day at work, he is just gifted as a different person, you're all the same, you just think differently.
- 33:11 – 37:13
Overcoming Negativity Default
- OOOllie Ollerton
- CWChris Williamson
That's one of the key realizations, I think, of overcoming a negativity default. It's to understand that the fact that you catastrophize risk-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- CWChris Williamson
... is not some personal curse bestowed on just you. It is an in-built fitness-enhancing system that our entire-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yep.
- CWChris Williamson
... species has got because we are not supposed to expend any more calories than we need to, because you taking a risk might make you a bit more alive but a lot more dead, which is a very bad-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... situation to be in.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
It's an existential risk. It means your genes don't get passed on. Everything in our evolutionary past up until 20,000 years ago-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... benefited the people, the humans, that were the most risk-averse. And now, because we've got, for the first time in history, a surplus of resources as opposed to a scarcity of resources, we're now just expecting our brains to catch up and be like, "I don't need to be scared of the cold shower. I don't need-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... to be scared of the high, the, uh, big rollercoaster thing." It's like, no, no, no, no. All of your fucking ancestors did, so you're gonna be as well. And, uh-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... you know, I, I think you're totally correct. Stepping into the programming, and you talk about this in the meditation section as well, so I'm gonna jump ahead, but there's a, a concept called The Mindfulness Gap by Corey Allen.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
And this is what you touch on. You give it a different name, but just giving yourself that second, you know, to think-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... and just think, actually, is this negative thought serving me? Is this-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... is this something worth being scared of? Last night, my dad, me and my dad were having a, a bit of a discussion. He started his first business and, um, I'm like, "Dad, is this actually something that you need to be concerned about or is it just your, um, natural risk aversion manifesting itself?" You know?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely. And, and, uh, and a way around that as well, I was, I was, uh, I came up with a, a bit of a analogy, if you call it that, the other day, but when it comes to something, when it comes to w- you, when you actually understand that that is our default, okay, what you have to do, when you want to achieve anything in life, you have to understand, and this goes back to the magic that you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding. You know what I mean? You are always gonna steer away from that short-term discomfort, um, which will then lead to, to, uh, long-term gain, and that's what a lot of the book is really based around, and my previous book, Breakpoint, the whole ethos of Breakpoint is around taking that short-term discomfort. But really, what you have to have, if you wanna start a business or if you want to start anything like that, you have to make sure that your goal overwhelms your circumstances. If I can give you a bit of an a- analogy on that. If I said to you one day, I'm st- I'm stood next to you, it's freezing cold, we're stood next to a lake that's pretty much close to ice on the top, and I said, "Mate, jump in there." You'd be like that, "Fuck off."
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
Now, if I-
- CWChris Williamson
How much are you gonna pay me? Yeah.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, no, exactly. But if I chuck the person that you loved right in the middle of that and they started to drown, would you give a fuck about how cold it was?
- CWChris Williamson
Yeah. Man, I've got, I've got-
- OOOllie Ollerton
(laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
... I've got, I've got, Olly, I've got a quote from the book here which is talking about shortcut syndrome, and this is one of my favorite, favorite bits, so I'm gonna read you a passage here. So you're talking about why you hadn't learned to surf even though it would be cool to do.
- 37:13 – 39:59
Breaking Point
- CWChris Williamson
hit the nail on the head when you say that it needs to ascend to the top of your purpose in life.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
And there's this quote from Ray Dalio, "You can have anything you want, but not everything you want."
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
And choosing to do few things well, condensed down, I think i- i- is- is another part of that. I'm sure that you- I back you, man, you're gonna become a cool surfer at some point.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
But as you say, not right now. Um, so you touched on it before, can you just explain the concept of a break point, please?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, break point, and- and that is really the ... You- you know what? That- that moment I got attacked by the chimp was the reason I started my company called Break Point, because that was the moment ... I was stuck underneath the chimp, and it was the moment I was gonna die. Now, it was the moment I could've laid down there and just been to- torn to bits and not be here today. But I knew that I had to, for any chance of surviving that day, I had to step further into the discomfort of that situation for any chance of long-term gain. And really, that was my first break point, is the moment you decide nothing's gonna stand between you and your goals, and you're prepared to- to take that short-term discomfort because you know there's a long-term gain on the other side of it.
- CWChris Williamson
Saving the family member that's drowning in the icy lake.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Exactly, exactly. Exactly that point. But the thing is- and that, you know, i- i- y- you don't have to go to the circus and get attacked after ha- after watching this- this, uh, this podcast. But what I'm saying is, that happens with everything in life, you know, and that is why it relates to this book being battle ready. It's about squaring everything away, it's about cleaning the dishes so it's not there the next day for you. It's about taking care of every little things, stepping into that short-term discomfort to make life better in the long term. And that's, w- in every aspects of your life, it's making you battle ready. A- and that is the whole concept. But that is break point. Break point is the moment that you ... It's that sliding doors moment of opportunity, it's the moment that you get up in the morning. You know, I put a post on this morning, I don't know if you saw it, but it was the fact, I don't wanna ... When I wake up at 5:00 in the morning, I don't want to get up. You know, after that, I don't wanna sit downstairs and meditate. You know, I want ... You know, I prefer to just sit and, you know, have a coffee and o- you know, open my phone up and just allow that negativity and that, all that nonsense to ooze in from- from everyone else's lives and- and etc., etc. I don't wanna then put my trainers on and go outside, I prefer to stay in and just have a nice coffee and check my email. But the thing is, I have to step into that short-term discomfort because I know the growth and the benefit and the development are on the other side of that short-term discomfort. That is break point.
- 39:59 – 42:12
Breathe Calibrate Deliver
- OOOllie Ollerton
- CWChris Williamson
Man. Can you explain what is breathe, calibrate, deliver?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, absolutely. In breathe, recalibrate, deliver is something that, um ... You know, it's, it- it ... Those that have read it in the other book and stuff, it ... You know, I relate it to a sp- my life in the Special Forces, but really, it's- it's not just about the Special Forces. Uh, although they are teaching this method now in some Special Forces units over the world. Basically, what happens when you get into a stressful situation and- and take, again, you know, the lake, the freezing cold lake. As soon as you fall into freezing cold water, what happens? Your breathing goes mentally erratic, doesn't it? And the first thing they say if you fall into a freezing cold lake is, "You must control your breathing." And what happens at that moment, you know, in any stress situation, your breathing becomes erratic. And then what happens, cortisol increases, and then that's what leads to- to the confusion. What you will then do in that moment, your survival instinct, uh, fight or fly- or- or flight, will basically say, "Get out of this situation as quickly as possible." And a lot of the time, you're gonna be running straight into further danger because you're confused. So basically, what this- what breathe, recalibrate, deliver is, is in those moments, as you're moving into one of those stressful situations, take it for as stacking up on a door, about to go in, you know, in the Special Forces. Anxiety on that door is immense because you don't know what's on the other side. Could be a wall of bullets, it could be a- a bomb, it could be anything. Um, but you know there's gonna be- it's gonna kick off. Um, and- and basically, it's about keeping that cortisol level down, you know. It's deep breathing, box breathing. So, when I go ... When I talk about breathe, recalibrate, deliver, box bre- ...If you're in a- in a stress situation and try it when you ... You know, uh, road rage or when you're having an argument with your- y- your partner or whatever, before you react, (inhales) breathe. You know, and it doesn't have to be, you- you know, sort of stand there and look- look like some zen monk, you know, going into some kind of, uh ... You know, it's just the fact, just breathe. Just take a breath first. You know, breathe in for four seconds, hold for four. Out for four, hold for four.
- 42:12 – 43:47
Recalibrating
- OOOllie Ollerton
That will then lower the cortisol.
- CWChris Williamson
How many rounds?
- OOOllie Ollerton
T- it depends on the situation, but if you've only got- if you've only got a short amount of time to do so, then basically, I'd say do it four times, but if you haven't got long, just taking one breath and maintaining that breathing through will help straight away. As soon as you take that first breath, it will help straight away. It's just a minute pause. And at that same time, you're calib- uh, recalibrating.... recalibrating is like a triage of the situation. You're stripping away what doesn't matter, you're getting rid of the mind chatter, you're getting rid of the confusion. And then on- once you've aligned with what you need to do, you then deliver the action. So you breathe, recalibrate, deliver.
- CWChris Williamson
I love it. I mean, if it's good enough for the SAS-
- OOOllie Ollerton
(laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
... stacking up outside of a, a room that's filled with potentially a wall of bullets, it's good enough for y- you know, Jonathan, who's stuck in rush hour traffic late on the way to work. Absolutely.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Or negotiation, you know, in sales. There's so many people... I've been in sales. You know, you, you, people sit in a meeting and then they walk out the meeting and they go, "Oh my God, I can't believe I just fucking said that."
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
And, and, and the, and, and the guys in the office are going, "What a loser. I've just gone in- I've just won that deal." And you've, you've actually- you've done the opposite of what you should do. You've took the shortcut and your mind's going, "Get out, get out, get out."
- CWChris Williamson
Mm-hmm.
- OOOllie Ollerton
And if you'd have just not allowed them to dictate and dr- just breathe, clear the confusion, and then deliver an answer that's based on clarity and not confusion, you'll win 95% of the time.
- 43:47 – 45:34
Deprogramming
- OOOllie Ollerton
- CWChris Williamson
So what this looks like to me is a micro version of what we've been talking about in terms of deprogramming, right?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
So you have this stasis that your body's operating in. Over longer times, we call that nature.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
But in short- in a shorter time, it, it's just the way that your physiology responds and reacts to situations.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
And especially for the people listening that are a little bit more cerebral, perhaps the people that are introverts, you'll think that you can armchair philosophize your way out of a situation. You'll be able to th- or you'll try and think, "I should think my way out of this anxiety. I should think my way out of this depression."
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
It's like there are certain things and certain thinking tools that you can use, but the bottom line is that if you got up and went for a 10-minute walk, did a little bit of breathing, and had a big glass of water, 80% of the problems in your life would be fixed. And I promise you that it's a fact. Like, a good night's sleep, a walk, a glass of water, and a little bit of breathing will fix pretty much anything.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, but the, the opposite of that is people tend to, to not go for the walk, they had to open a bottle of wine, down that. (laughs) And then, you know, they just focus on-
- CWChris Williamson
Check their phone, scroll through their phone.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
Sit on the couch, eat some food-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Exactly.
- CWChris Williamson
... that's high in glucose. Man, it's, you know, i- if, if so many people, including yourself, who's literally been to the absolute elite of the armed service i- in the world, if you're saying it, I think people should probably heed the advice. I got a question, actually-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... that I've been wanting to ask you. Talk me through your morning routine.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, morning routine. Well, I'll talk you through my morning routine today, which is pretty much the same as I did in the boot camp. It's the same, I try... I don't do it every day, I've gotta say that. You know, sometimes I fall, and I, and I talk about that, getting back on track after you've, you know, you've lost your way,
- 45:34 – 49:04
Morning Routine
- OOOllie Ollerton
uh, but-
- CWChris Williamson
What do you think, what do you think is your compliance with your morning routine? Five in seven? Four in seven?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Um, well, th- th- there's no set, but I always look at the 80/20. You know?
- CWChris Williamson
Okay.
- OOOllie Ollerton
If I'm doing something 80, 80% of the time, then it, then it's good. But, you know, I'm not so... You know, a lot of people actually reading the book and stuff like that must think, "God, he must be boring to live with." (laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
But it's not. I, you know, I, I, I do, you know... I, I, I know my faults, and I, I know, you know, sometimes... Up until about, you know, when I first went into isolation, I was letting that slip. I was eating really bad foods. So anyway, morning routine for me. Now, the morning routine is so, so important, because by me taking myself to the day, I dominate every time. Okay? Or at least I'm in a good position to be able to take anything that comes my way. Now, if you're the kind of person that just, you know, is on the snooze button 24-7, you know, and, and just gets up at the last minute, you're basically allowing the day to come to you, and it's more than likely gonna walk all over you. So for me, I wake up now at five o'clock in the morning, and that's just a regular pattern. Um, and I, I straightaway, you know, I know that if I don't take action quickly, my brain's gonna talk me out of it, roll over, cuddle my girlfriend, and, and that's it all over. Uh, so it's really, for me, get out of bed, straight out of bed. Um, I then go downstairs and I meditate. Um, I sit there, I do a guided meditation, something by, um, um, that's, um, I use a lot of Bob Proctor's stuff. I don't know if you-
- CWChris Williamson
Mm-hmm.
- OOOllie Ollerton
... you're aware of Bob's-
- CWChris Williamson
Mm-hmm.
- OOOllie Ollerton
I, I, I love Bob. I think he's amazing. Um, but any kind of meditation. For me, when I say meditation, um, you know, a lot of people think, "Oh, I'm..." They're too scared to venture into it, because they don't understand what it's all about. But for me, it's my focused attention at my intentions. So I use that time to sit there, and it's, it's really about me being able to clear my mind of anything else that's going on. And every time my focus gets distracted, you know, I know how to get back. And that really helps me massively throughout the day. Because prior to learning that, and it's a hard thing to do, I had mind chatter going on, and it was so, you know, just this mind chatter and stuff, and it was just so confusing. So that is 20 minutes in the morning for me to be able to really focus on what I wanna achieve short term, in that day, in that week, in- and, uh, you know, and then my big goals as well. Um, so that time as well, for me, is about visualizing where I wanna be. I visualize like I've already been there. 20 minutes of that. I then get up. I'll then either go for a run, seven k's, uh, which is from my house, seven k run. Um, and then I've got the use of a very nice swimming pool at the moment. Um, so I then go v- uh, for a swim. I'll then, um, I'll then, uh, later on in the day go to the gym. So really, for me... And, and also, I've done my fitness and everything. This is me time. In my diary for the next year, I've put in my diary, now, up until 9:30 it's blocked out, and that is me time. No one can penetrate that unless it's something extremely important.... generally, up until 9:30, I am not available 'cause I'm working on me. A lot of people say, "Look, I haven't got time to do all that." This is the best work you can do, and that's on yourself, 'cause the return on investment will affect everything in your life. So, that morning routine, for me, is so powerful, and everyone that's not doing it, start doing it, 'cause it'll change your life.
- 49:04 – 55:31
Oxygen Masks
- OOOllie Ollerton
- CWChris Williamson
Man, if you win the morning, you win the day. There's a, a good analogy here about when you are in an aircraft with low pressure, and what happens in an aircraft with low pressure is the oxygen masks come down, and the advice that you're given, the instruction that you're given is, "Put your mask on before you try and assist anybody else." And the reason for that is, if you are suffocating, you are not all that you can be to help the people that are around you.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
And this is the basis of self-care. If you are not making yourself everything that you can be, you're not serving others in the way that you can too. And, uh, again, Aubrey Marcus, past Modern Wisdom guest, said, "You do not serve others from your cup. You serve others from the saucer which overflows around your cup." And again, if you don't think that you have the time to work on yourself, you're probably the prime candidate for someone who really needs to consider it, and get a copy of, uh, of Battle Ready and, and go through everything that's in there. Um, so you quote Joe Dispenza, who's one of my favorites, and-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
... there's this brilliant stat where he says, "80 to 90% of our thoughts are the same as those that we had yesterday." How can people step in and break that cycle?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Change. Process. It's absolutely process. You've got to break that chain, you've got to break that habit loop, and you've gotta process, put a p- process into play that takes you away from that repeat cycle. Because again, coming back to evolution, as far as our minds are concerned, we wanna keep on doing what we did yesterday and the day before and the day before that, because as far as our minds are concerned, when it's in line with human evolution, doing what we did yesterday and the day before has kept us alive until today. It doesn't give a shit if you're happy or sad, whether it's a good situation or not, it just wants to keep on doing that same thing. When it comes to evolution of the species, it would be so happy if you just sat in a corner and procreated all day long and didn't go anywhere, because that's dangerous, you know, that, but then that, that's absolutely the whole thing about this, this conflict. I talk about this confit- this inner conflict. There's that, you know, that, that's the driving force for us to, to, to, to, for the, uh, evolution of the species, but we're there to, to, to create, we're there to, to, um, understand, we're there to, to, um, experience. And, um, and really, it's about if you wanna get out of that, this, you know, all this stuff all falls in line with break point. It's the mo- you've got to put a process into play that breaks that loop, and understand as soon as you do it, you're not gonna feel like it, but you've got to step into the discomfort initially, because what's that, what that's doing is basically building a new neural pathway in your mind. You know, the negativity, the, the loop, uh, habit loop of what you've been doing is like a superhighway, and when you come up with something new, that is just, that, the neurons are, are firing but it's very weak. But the more you focus on the new habit, those neurons start to get and turn into a, you know, like a, a country lane, then a superhighway, and then the negativity will always be there. But the thing is, you need to make the positive, uh, or the new habit the new superhighway of change. And the only way you can do that is by stepping into the discomfort on a continuous basis, day in, day out. A lot of people say, "Oh, you know, I, I've stopped doing that because there were so many obstacles in the way." The obstacles are the way. (laughs)
- CWChris Williamson
Quality. I love it. Um, so we've spoken about the fact that we have a call to change, we've spoken about some of the barriers, the way that you need to sustain change by having a process in place, you need to connect to a higher purpose, you need to actually be able to understand what's going on so that you can see the thoughts in your mind for what they are.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
But then we need to sustain that, right? We need to keep that going.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
Um, and one of the things, you've just touched on it there, people come up against failure. They-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- CWChris Williamson
... find a, a, a, a challenging time, they come up against failure, they run out of motivation. So, how can we ensure that the good habits that we've put in place, we don't, you know, run out of motivation, we don't feel like we're a failure?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, there's a lo- there's a load of things there, but, um, you know, um, I said, I think I said it at the start of this, Chris, and it was like, you know, I'm sick of people faking perfection. You know, you've got to understand that, I mean, I personally, if I'm not making mistakes, I know now that I'm not trying hard enough. My goals aren't big enough or I'm not trying hard enough. And I understand that your way to success is, is, is, is, um, is a series of failures. You know, but those, for me, just reframe them. They're milestones of growth. They're only failures if th- they knock you back and you're too scared to go forward again. You know, it's like a pinball going up. You know, you want the pinball to go straight up the center, but it doesn't, it gets knocked from side to side, and sometimes it even gets dropped all the way back. Even with the flippers, you can't bang it straight back up, it goes straight down again. But you've got to understand that on the way to your goal, you're gonna get knocked to the left, knocked to the right. But it's got, you've got to have a goal on the other side that's pulling you through. But you've got to understand that, you know, those failures are gonna reshape the way that you approach your goal. And even when you get to your goal, forget the goal. You're not sposed- you're not supposed to be satisfied when you get to the goal. And even if you don't make the goal, you're 75% in, it's a, it's a, it's a long way better than 0% in you were, you know, some time before. So really, for me, it's about understanding that, yeah, keep on failing, keep on failing. I mean, the quote at the start of the book is about, um...... no goal was ever great unless at some point you doubted your ability to achieve it. You know, and it's all about, you know, it's all about having goals. You know, it's so important to, to, to make sure that you choose a defined goal that you want, that challenges you, you know, that can be broke down into bite-sized chunks that you, you, you tackle each one of those bite-sized chunks. You know, each one's a milestone. You get to that, that gives you the confidence to keep on going. And sometimes-
- CWChris Williamson
You've got, uh, you've got a really cool, um, exercise. It's a clock, the clock thing.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
Right? And as I was, as I was reading it, I made a little note on the side, any large goal is achievable given enough time and small enough steps.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- 55:31 – 1:03:57
Life is a series of actions
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
That's it. You know, there is, there is literally ... If you, if I give you an infinite amount of time, there's pretty much nothing that you can't achieve. You could walk to fucking Mars, you know?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
Like, given enough time and small enough steps, you can achieve literally anything, and I like the idea that you break down a large, grand goal. "This is very imposing. This is very challenging. I don't know how I'm gonna do it." And you go, "Okay, what's the next action?"
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
"What's the very, very, very next thing?" And this is how it links into the morning routine, right? You're like, "Look-"
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- CWChris Williamson
"... I need to do all this shit today, but first I need to pull the covers off me." You know?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah. Yes.
- CWChris Williamson
Then I need to get out of bed. Then I need to brush my teeth. Then I need to do the thing. Like, that's it. It is ...
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- CWChris Williamson
All that life is, is a series of actions that leads to accomplishments over time.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah.
- CWChris Williamson
And anything great, any great sportsman or speaker or artist or anyone is gonna tell you the same thing. And you look-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm.
- CWChris Williamson
... at a piece, a great piece of art, and you don't see individual brushstrokes. But by definition, that's precisely how that bit of art was made, right?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Exactly. Exactly. And that's, uh, that, that exercise in the book, I think it's such a powerful exercise, and I actually did that. My life was absolutely at rock bot- rock bottom at that point. So, I basically, you know, I had a, I, I, I, I drew round a CD. I, I put clock hands through it, or not clock hands, just lines through it, like, you know, a 12, a 3, um, a 6, and a 9. And, you know, 12 o'clock was my main goal, what do I want to achieve? And each one of ... You know, some people might not have to do all the hands of the clock. You know, they might be, have, only have to do 6 and 9. But basically, I went from 12, and then at 3, I put what I needed to do, where I n- wh- where my first goal was, and bet- and, and, and, hands one and two were the steps I needed to take to get to three. And then you just keep on going on and on and on. But the thing is, all the way along, you know, you have the goal. You plant the goal into your subconscious. Once it's, you v- keep thinking about it, and that's why I use the morning routine to think about that and putting it into the subconscious, because at times, when times get tough, you need to forget the goal, especially if it is an audacious goal, which it alwa- it should scare the shit out of you. And basically, you know, if you focus on that goal, if it is a scary goal, when, when times are tough, your mind'll just fall apart. You'll be like, "Nah, that's too tough." But the thing is, that's when you need to get your head down and just keep on moving. We i- we call it in the Special Forces one meter square. You need to keep momentum and just allow, just concentrate on what's on that meter square. Don't go, don't go, don't freeze, don't go static, but just keep on moving towards the next goal. I climbed Mont Blanc last year, you know, and I, uh, uh, I'm always thinking of ... You know, I think that was, that was powerful for me, because, you know, we were walking up, and it was like, I kept looking forward and I was, like, getting so demoralized, because it just didn't seem to be getting any closer and closer to the top of that mountain.
- CWChris Williamson
(laughs)
- OOOllie Ollerton
And I was like, you know, "Just s- forget. Don't. Stop looking up there, you know, just stop looking up there. Look at your feet and just l- allow your feet to keep on moving." And then, every time we stopped for a breather, I didn't look up. I turned round and I looked how far we'd come, and wow, what a fucking amazing view. And that filled me with absolute power. And then it was, "Turn round and crack on again." But, you know, it's ... And that's really an analogy for how you should approach your goals.
- CWChris Williamson
Do you think it's surprising for people to hear someone who, from the outside, looks like a very classic hard man, driven, you know, the, the, the signature p- f- action man, Special Forces, this guy's got an iron will, and fucking balls of steel, and a jaw made of granite, and all this bullshit, you know? Like, do you think it's strange for people to maybe hear this side? All of the self-doubt, all of the worry, all the concern, all of the trauma that's been brought through?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, I do, 100%, but that's why I feel it's so powerful for me to be able actually to level with people and tell them the truth. Because people ... You know, I, I can remember someone saying to me, it was real- y- you know, not too long ago, saying, "Wow, you guys are cut from a different cloth." And I turned round to him and I said, "No, we're not." I said, "We're just the same as you. We're just, uh, ordinary people doing extraordinary things." And really, it's, it's so important for me in this book and my previous book to be absolutely, 100% open, and let people understand that we're just the same as y- as everyone else, you know? And that really helps people, so that really inspires people. And that is ... You know, at the end of the day, my books, I don't ca- honestly, you know, they, they obviously pay, um, a dividend, but the power for each of my books is what it gives other people. And I can't do that if I'm faking perfection.
- CWChris Williamson
Man, that's great. So I've got one final question, which is, what would you say to someone who is in the same place that you were in seven years ago, lost in life, potentially with a sense of meaninglessness, pointlessness, addicted to some sort of drug or dependent on some-
- OOOllie Ollerton
Mm-hmm.
- CWChris Williamson
... bad relationship, feeling like they've got no future, nowhere to go, no way to grow? What would you say to someone that was you seven years ago?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, well, basically, I would, um, I would, I, I would tell them, uh, that they need to understand that what they're looking for is not out there. It's not external. You can, you know ... You know, I was bouncing all over the world trying to find something that wasn't there. You know, the magic in everyone, everyone has the magic, but it's within you, and the, th- as soon as you start to look within for the answers...... you will be given the answers, okay? So it's really about slowing down. And for me, you know, it's so important. A lot, you know, it, it was hard to come across in a book as if, you know, I'm some raging alcoholic. It wasn't the case, you know. For me, I understood how put through my life experiences and there's been, been some crazy ones. Um, I understood how powerful the mind is, so for me to add a chemical to that and disrupt that clarity and disrupt that power was absolute madness. It was like putting diesel in a petrol car. Um, but for me it's about get rid of all those external factors that are c- are, are not benefiting your productivity. Get rid of the alcohol, get rid of the drugs, and especially if you're suffering mental health issues, PTSD, whatever it is. Unless you cut away the smokescreen, you're never gonna get to the raw nerve. So it's about making yourself as healthy, as clean, as much clarity as possible. Drop down, get to a level playing field of absolutely where you are. Create a foundation of growth, not c- not on a comparison with someone else, and really start to put a plan into play that has a goal that takes you out of being a victim of circumstance.
- CWChris Williamson
Dude. Ollie, you killed it, man. We made it, we made it through.
- OOOllie Ollerton
Thanks, mate.
- CWChris Williamson
I, um, I have to say, man, I said it before we got started, this book's fantastic. This I'm gonna keep, and another copy I'm gonna buy for my dad. So Dad, if you're listening, uh, you're gonna have one of these, uh, landing in the house pretty soon, and I'm gonna make him go through it. I think it's a fantastic overview of behavior change, I think you've got really good process in there. And some of the stories, man, like some of the stuff. Your trip, we didn't even get onto your trip, you did ayahuasca, you went all the way out to see some shaman. All this mad stuff's going on, so yeah, I, um, I think, I think it's phenomenal. I really, really hope that it changes a lot of people's, uh, a lot of people's ways that they operate and, and their lives for the better as well. So where, uh, where should people head? They wanna find out more about you, more about the book. Where do they go?
- OOOllie Ollerton
Yeah, I've actually got a website. I mean, I think it's a lot easier that people go to my website, which is Ollie, O double L-I-E O double L E-R-T-O-N, .co.uk, ollieollerton.co.uk. It's got all my projects, all my books, everything on there. You can find me on Twitter, social media, everything. And, and mate, please, if you want those books for your dad, whatever, I need to make sure they're signed for you with a nice message, so please tap me up for that.
- CWChris Williamson
That would be fantastic. And I will repay the favor, mate. If you're ever in Newcastle, get yourself up here and we'll go up to my gym and we'll get a good CrossFit workout in. How's that?
Episode duration: 1:03:57
Install uListen for AI-powered chat & search across the full episode — Get Full Transcript
Transcript of episode GfktEiR0wJI
Get more out of YouTube videos.
High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.
Add to Chrome