The Hidden Price Of Unprocessed Trauma - Bessel van der Kolk

Bessel van der Kolk is a psychiatrist, researcher, and an author. Trauma is often discussed as a mental and psychological issue. But what if it affects more than just the mind? What does it mean if your body is holding onto trauma, and how might these memories manifest outside of our brains? Expect to learn what is meant by the body keeping the score, what is wrong with the traditional way we talk about trauma, how you can learn to be more self-compassionate, how trauma manifests and masks itself as illnesses, the best therapies and modalities for understanding and releasing trauma and much more... - 00:00 Do We Think About Trauma Wrong? 03:56 Link Between Trauma & Chronic Stress 07:28 Why Trauma Causes Us to Shield Ourselves 12:41 How to Not Be at the Mercy of Your Feelings 21:34 Does Trauma Make Us More Vulnerable to Future Trauma? 26:48 Tips to Being More Self-Compassionate 33:58 How Trauma Manifests as Illness 38:32 Principles for Treating Trauma 50:49 Opening Up to Other People 1:01:40 What Bessel is Excited About 1:04:38 Bessel’s New Book 1:05:04 Where to Find Bessel - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostBessel van der Kolkguest

May 22, 20241h 5mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Trauma’s Hidden Body Cost: Safety, Self-Compassion, and True Healing

Bessel van der Kolk explains how trauma is not just intense stress but a lasting assault on one’s sense of safety, identity, and bodily experience, leaving people stuck in automatic reactions long after events end.
He distinguishes trauma from everyday stress, emphasizing that humans are social and embodied beings whose nervous systems, relationships, and early environments shape vulnerability and resilience.
The conversation explores how trauma lives in the body and subcortical brain circuits, why talk alone is insufficient, and why modalities like bodywork, yoga, mindfulness, psychodrama, and MDMA-assisted therapy can be powerful.
Van der Kolk also advocates for early education in self-regulation and embodied awareness, warns about digital overuse as emotional anesthetic, and describes therapy at its best as a courageous, experiential exploration of the self.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Trauma is not just stress; it’s a lasting change in how you experience yourself and the world.

Stress is natural and temporary, often even energizing, whereas trauma freezes people in states of fear, rage, or terror so that their bodies and brains keep reacting as if the danger is still present.

The body ‘keeps the score’ through automatic reactions, not just conscious memories.

After trauma, people may intellectually dismiss an event yet find their bodies freezing, crying, or raging in safe situations; these are subcortical, nonverbal responses from brain regions shared with other animals.

Safety and social connection are central buffers against traumatic imprinting.

Evidence from war, disasters, and domestic violence shows that feeling safe at home and being believed and supported by close others dramatically reduces the likelihood and severity of PTSD.

Avoidance, shame, and minimization initially protect but later block healing.

People often downplay past harms and feel ashamed of being triggered by ‘small’ things; this protects their self-image short-term but prevents them from recognizing patterns and seeking help.

Embodied practices are often necessary before deep psychological work can succeed.

For chronically hypervigilant or shut-down people, therapies that restore bodily safety—like bodywork, yoga, tai chi, qigong, hot baths, or safe touch—help calm the alarm systems so introspection and processing become possible.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Trauma is an assault on one's being that really changes the way you feel, experience yourself, how you experience the world about you.

— Bessel van der Kolk

You don't remember the trauma so much as you continue to react as if you're being traumatized.

— Bessel van der Kolk

If you cannot live in silence with yourself, you're not okay.

— Bessel van der Kolk

Knowing why you're screwed up does not necessarily make you less screwed up, but it does give you choices.

— Bessel van der Kolk

Therapy is a very courageous act of confronting your internal demons and the pain and hurt of your life.

— Bessel van der Kolk

Difference between stress and trauma and how trauma gets people ‘stuck’The body’s role in storing and expressing traumatic experienceSocial connection, safety, and the protective/risk factors around traumaShame, minimization, and the stories people tell about their past and reactionsEmbodied and experiential treatments: yoga, bodywork, psychodrama, mindfulness, EMDR, MDMASelf-regulation, education, and cultivating conscious, self-aware individualsLimitations of traditional psychiatry, therapy culture, and over-reliance on drugs

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