The Lie that Ruined a Generation - Brett Cooper (4K)

1. 0:00 – 6:13

   Brett’s Marriage

   1. CWChris Williamson0:00

      You got married.

   2. BCBrett Cooper0:01

      I did.

   3. CWChris Williamson0:01

      How's that been?

   4. BCBrett Cooper0:02

      It's the best thing I've ever done. Seriously. It's- it's... We got married on, um, March 30th of this year, so very recently. And best day of my life, best decision. Obviously, it's like a baby marriage. It's very new. Um, but it's been amazing. I'm grateful for him. I'm grateful for the institution of marriage. It's just... Yeah, it's been wonderful.

   5. CWChris Williamson0:25

      Getting married at 22 is a pretty radical thing-

   6. BCBrett Cooper0:28

      Yeah.

   7. CWChris Williamson0:28

      ...to do for someone with a career.

   8. BCBrett Cooper0:29

      Yes, it is. It is. It was, um... It's interesting. I have always known I wanted to be married. I've always known that I wanted to be a mother. You know, I had a career in Hollywood. I was a child actor for 10-plus years. And I remember I had a conversation with my best friend at the time. We were walking through Burbank, I think I was, like, 15 years old, and we were talking about our dreams and hopes. And she had just, you know... She was pinned for a new series, and she was like, "This is all I've ever wanted," and we were talking about all of that. And I brought up a concern that I had had basically since I started in this industry and started working with adults, 'cause that's one of the cool things and also something that gets very dicey in Hollywood, is that you're working with adults constantly. For me, in my experience, it ended up working out very well 'cause I was exposed to people who were much more successful than I was, were further along in their careers. I got to see how they were operating, how they balanced their career and family and marriage, and I did not like what I saw. And so, like, in the back of my mind, I was like, "I know that I want to be the type of mother that my mom is, where she walked away from her career and she dedicated every fiber of her being to being a mother." That was her career. It was like, you know, very, very intentional. "I'm going to raise the best human beings possible." I wanted to be that engaged. And I saw the mothers that I worked with on shows, the fathers. I saw the 35-year-old series regulars on Netflix who were still living in condos with four other roommates, who couldn't afford to buy a house or support a family in Los Angeles. So, in my teen years, I was just like, "This is not... This isn't compatible. This isn't what I want." And I'd been, like, wrestling with that. And so in this conversation with my friend, I said, "You know, that isn't really, at the end of the day, what I want. What I want is to be a wife and a mother." And I never, like, actually expressed that to her, even though she was one of my best friends. And she tur- whipped her head around and was like, "You are willing to give up your career for that?" And I didn't even say that. I had not insinuated it. I was just saying, you know, "At the end of the day, that's what I want." She was like, "You're willing to walk away from everything and sacrifice. You will never be as successful because that's what you want." She was like, "I'm not willing to do that." And so it was kind of like the people who wanted to be married and wanted to be mothers didn't want it enough, um, and that those choices, those personal choices, weren't valid. And so that ha- that had always been what I had heard. And I was undeterred, obviously, and so, yes, it is pretty radical. But even in this industry of, like, being in media, being more on the right, I still heard it. Still heard it from conservatives, of like, "You're on the up and up. Are you sure you want to do that?" From people that are pro-family and pro-marriage. I was like-

   9. CWChris Williamson2:59

      Mm-hmm.

   10. BCBrett Cooper2:59

       ... "Oh (laughs) , this really is radical."

   11. CWChris Williamson3:01

       It's crazy the reality distorting, warping sense of success.

   12. BCBrett Cooper3:07

       Yeah.

   13. CWChris Williamson3:07

       That success is so rare and it's so celebrated that anybody that gets even the tiniest-

   14. BCBrett Cooper3:12

       Mm-hmm.

   15. CWChris Williamson3:12

       ... little bit of it, even people who are ostensibly pro-family-

   16. BCBrett Cooper3:16

       Yeah.

   17. CWChris Williamson3:16

       ... would say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, but, like, don't let go of the more important thing-

   18. BCBrett Cooper3:19

       Yes.

   19. CWChris Williamson3:19

       ... which is the success and the status."

   20. BCBrett Cooper3:21

       Yes, yeah. It's... It was a wake-up call for sure. But again, I- I knew that that is what I wanted. I knew that I had found the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Um, my parents did not have a good marriage, so this was... It wasn't something that I grew up idolizing or wanting. That wasn't an example that... You know, I didn't want to be married because of my parents, because I had seen how wonderful it was.

   21. CWChris Williamson3:46

       Almost in spite of it.

   22. BCBrett Cooper3:47

       Yes. Because I knew that it was the foundation of your life and it could make or break your life. Because I saw friends with incredible, incredible parents who were deeply in love and the way that their children turned out and the way that their home operated-

   23. CWChris Williamson4:01

       Hmm.

   24. BCBrett Cooper4:01

       ... the way that each of those individual successes, the husband and the wife, were propelled because of how good their marriage was and how that could work. And then I saw my parents on the other end and, you know, they love them both, but they picked poorly. They're not compatible. They're much better as friends. They are still friends today. I think they're (laughs) much better friends now and they get along much better.

   25. CWChris Williamson4:20

       Mm-hmm.

   26. BCBrett Cooper4:20

       But I do believe that they held each other back in what they wanted to accomplish because they had very different ideas of where they wanted to take our family, what they wanted to do career-wise, just their base values. I mean, even when they voted, they would, you know, axe each other out every single time. Uh, and that says a lot. And so I saw my mother struggle. I saw my father struggle. I saw them butt heads and know that that held both of them back. And so that was so important to me from the get-go of, like, number one, it has to be the right person, but I think it was more important for me to get married young. I actually think it was a- a good thing for me to get married at this point in my career because I am... It has been like a rocket ship and it's been very destabilizing at points-

   27. CWChris Williamson5:05

       Mm-hmm.

   28. BCBrett Cooper5:05

       ... and that's been my rock. The relationship, him, and now this marriage. It's like, that's what I get to come home to. That's the one thing that matters. All of this, it's awesome, it's cool, I love it. I love that I get to make a difference, I love that I get to talk to people every day, but at the end of the day, I- I come home to him and that's what grounds me so that I can go do everything else.

   29. CWChris Williamson5:23

       Are you gonna be prepared to let go of this then when the time comes?

   30. BCBrett Cooper5:25

       Yeah.
2. 6:13 – 20:08

   Current State of Dating Advice

   1. CWChris Williamson6:13

      the state of dating advice for young people at the moment?

   2. BCBrett Cooper6:15

      Terrible. It's awful. Uh, it's a (laughs) treacherous landscape. It is just barren. Um, one thing that I've been talking a lot about on the show, and I would actually love to hear your thoughts on this, because we've talked about dating here and there, um, I just don't think my generation knows how. Like, I was never taught how to date. My first dating experiences were on dating apps, which is wild. And so I hear about young men not wanting to approach women, and obviously there's the Me Too movement. There's a lot of concerns about rejection. Women are now saying, by and large, they want to be approached, but obviously so many women are just like, "Oh, that's creepy," whatever. It's just very confusing. There are nuances in dating and approaching women and starting relationships that you kind of have to just learn. And my generation, I don't think we've ever had to do that. I mean, again, like I went to UCLA, was 18, but I went in as a junior, and I joined a sorority 'cause I wanted to have, like, the all-American traditional experience, wanted to do something traditional for once in my life. And right after I rushed the sorority and got in, I was sitting in a room with my big, and she was like-

   3. CWChris Williamson7:24

      Your what?

   4. BCBrett Cooper7:25

      My big. Do you know what that is?

   5. CWChris Williamson7:26

      No.

   6. BCBrett Cooper7:27

      Okay, so in Greek (laughs) in Greek life, you have, like, bigs and littles. So-

   7. CWChris Williamson7:31

      Uh-huh.

   8. BCBrett Cooper7:31

      ... I was somebody's little. So when-

   9. CWChris Williamson7:32

      Okay.

   10. BCBrett Cooper7:32

       ... I joined the sorority, there was somebody who was- who had already joined a year prior.

   11. CWChris Williamson7:36

       Right.

   12. BCBrett Cooper7:36

       And they, like, usher you in, are your mentor, your friend.

   13. CWChris Williamson7:39

       Cool. Okay.

   14. BCBrett Cooper7:39

       Yeah, bigs and littles.

   15. CWChris Williamson7:40

       We're on-

   16. BCBrett Cooper7:40

       So I was with my big.

   17. CWChris Williamson7:41

       We're on the same page. Yep.

   18. BCBrett Cooper7:42

       Yes. Um, and fraternities have that as well. Anyway, I was sitting with her in her room, and they were shocked that I had never been on Tinder, that I had never dated before. They were shocked that I was a virgin. I mean, it was just like (gasps) , like, "This is insane. How could you..." And I mean, and I found out later on, I mean, these girls had had, you know, multiple abortions and were very, very sexually and, you know, relationship-wise ahead of me. And I had not thought anything of it up until this point 'cause I hadn't been around it, and I just kind of stayed in my own bubble. Um, and they're like, "Well, you gotta get on Tinder. You gotta y- you gotta do it." And there's no hazing allowed at UCLA. There's n- especially not in sororities. But they kind of made a joke, and they were like, "This is gonna be your hazing. You need to get on dating apps, and you're- this is how you're gonna date." And it was so weird. Um, the boy that I dated in college, like my high school... or not high school, my college boyfriend, met on Hinge. Like, that was how I dated. That's how everyone around me dated. And so when I hear, you know, people online, when I'm reading in the comment section, like, "I don't know how to approach somebody. I'm so nervous." Girls not knowing how to respond-

   19. CWChris Williamson8:45

       Mm-hmm.

   20. BCBrett Cooper8:45

       ... it's 'cause we've completely lost that. It's not their fault. It's because they've just gone online. You're sliding into DMs. You're swiping right and left, and that's an addictive game in and of itself. And so then now we're seeing, you know, droves of people leaving dating apps, especially with everything that, like, Bumble did. Bumble had a huge loss when they did their ridiculous rebrand, most idiotic thing they've ever done. Um, people wanting to be off the apps but not knowing how to date outside of them. So it really is... It's abysmal for a lot of reasons, but especially that is what I've been thinking about recently.

   21. CWChris Williamson9:14

       Yeah, I- I had this idea of mutually assured deception-

   22. BCBrett Cooper9:18

       Mm-hmm.

   23. CWChris Williamson9:18

       ... which I think is what a lot of people have. They're so scared of opening up, because one of the worst things that you can be is gullible and naive-

   24. BCBrett Cooper9:26

       Yeah.

   25. CWChris Williamson9:27

       ... in dating. You know, there's something kind of cool about being aloof and a bit sardonic and a bit-

   26. BCBrett Cooper9:31

       Yeah.

   27. CWChris Williamson9:31

       ... standoffish. You know, "I'm too good for this."

   28. BCBrett Cooper9:33

       Mm-hmm.

   29. CWChris Williamson9:33

       "Uh, you- there's no way that you could hurt me." Yeah, you know, it's sort of easy come, easy go.

   30. BCBrett Cooper9:37

       Yeah.
3. 20:08 – 26:06

   Brett's Advice to Attract a Good Woman

   1. CWChris Williamson20:08

      to guys who want to attract and find a good woman?

   2. BCBrett Cooper20:16

      Work on yourself, for sure. Be constantly improving, um, both in terms of your career, your intelligence and the way that you think about the world, your, the physical shape that you're in. That says so much to women, and I know that a lot of women kind of look at that in a superficial way, but I look at that as, like, "You are truly prepared to protect." Um, "You're willing to go to bat for me, for our future children. You care about my health more than I care about my health." That was a huge thing that I had to get over. He was like, "You are gonna go to the gym. You are gonna take these supplements." Um, a leader. Um, being able to be assertive and take initiative is huge. I also think, and this is the complicated one that I've been talking about on the show, is understanding the nuances in dating. Women are very confusing, which is, it sucks, but we are, and there's, like, very little, like, emotional things that we do. But being able to understand if a woman is actually interested and knowing how to carry on a conversation before you even ask her out-

   3. CWChris Williamson21:17

      Hmm.

   4. BCBrett Cooper21:17

      ... that's key to just getting in the door, of being able to create a connection over something that's not dating and over your interest in her, whether it's, you know, physical or you just think she's an interesting person. Just seeing if that connection is even there and kind of playing that dating game, that back and forth, that sets you up for success in more ways than one. Like, that is, I, I feel like has a much higher batting average than just, you know, going up and saying, you know, "Can I have your number?" And hoping that it works out. But laying that groundwork just so that you know if she's actually interested, um, I think that also makes the fear of rejection a little easier because you actually will know, hopefully, if she's interested and what the response-

   5. CWChris Williamson21:57

      You've got, like, preselection somehow.

   6. BCBrett Cooper21:59

      Yes. Exactly.

   7. CWChris Williamson21:59

      Yeah. Well, I think a lot of, a lot of the time about, um, the advantage of being around women-

   8. BCBrett Cooper22:06

      Mm-hmm.

   9. CWChris Williamson22:06

      ... and one of the problems of remote work being that-

   10. BCBrett Cooper22:08

       Yes.

   11. CWChris Williamson22:08

       ... people are interacting less. So low-stakes interaction with women-

   12. BCBrett Cooper22:12

       Mm-hmm.

   13. CWChris Williamson22:12

       ... is a really great way for guys to overcome their approach anxiety.

   14. BCBrett Cooper22:14

       Yeah.

   15. CWChris Williamson22:15

       Because if you're not looking for any outcome-

   16. BCBrett Cooper22:16

       Mm-hmm.

   17. CWChris Williamson22:18

       ... i- w- what can you lose there? It's the barista.

   18. BCBrett Cooper22:19

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson22:19

       She is literally paid-

   20. BCBrett Cooper22:21

       Just go talk.

   21. CWChris Williamson22:21

       ... to give you your coffee.

   22. BCBrett Cooper22:22

       Yeah.

   23. CWChris Williamson22:22

       So if you can say one extra sentence.

   24. BCBrett Cooper22:24

       Yes.

   25. CWChris Williamson22:24

       It sounds so stupid. It's the same problem as, "If you need to go to the gym, just do 10 pushups a day."

   26. BCBrett Cooper22:29

       Yep.

   27. CWChris Williamson22:30

       Because it starts so small that people think, "Well, what's the fucking point?"

   28. BCBrett Cooper22:33

       Yeah.

   29. CWChris Williamson22:33

       Like, "Look, I, I'm not, I'm not Andrew Tate with a Bugatti."

   30. BCBrett Cooper22:36

       (laughs) Yeah.
4. 26:06 – 33:22

   What is Gen-Z’s Opinion of Motherhood?

   1. BCBrett Cooper26:06

   2. CWChris Williamson26:06

      Super lame. There's a current big pushback against women having kids as well.

   3. BCBrett Cooper26:09

      Mm-hmm, yeah.

   4. CWChris Williamson26:09

      Even me, who doesn't use TikTok-

   5. BCBrett Cooper26:12

      Mm-hmm.

   6. CWChris Williamson26:12

      ... saw that girl with the list-

   7. BCBrett Cooper26:14

      Oh, yeah.

   8. CWChris Williamson26:14

      ... thing. She printed off 350 reasons-

   9. BCBrett Cooper26:16

      Mm.

   10. CWChris Williamson26:16

       ... about why not to have a child. What is the opinion on motherhood among Gen Z at the moment?

   11. BCBrett Cooper26:24

       It's interesting. Did you see that study that said that it's over half of women do believe that motherhood is just as or more important than a career? It's just from a couple of weeks ago. But they will not... These are not conservatives. These are just normal women. They don't want to brand themselves as conservatives. They wanna get married, they believe that hookup culture is bad, and they believe that motherhood is important. And so I think deep down, 'cause these are biological instincts, I do believe that women have those urges and want that. I think that it is the culture coming in very heavy-handedly-

   12. CWChris Williamson27:00

       (laughs)

   13. BCBrett Cooper27:00

       ... with the most absurd reasons not to, like the list, which is just 365 examples of fearmongering.

   14. CWChris Williamson27:06

       Can't wear cute heels anymore.

   15. BCBrett Cooper27:07

       Yeah.

   16. CWChris Williamson27:07

       Got to mish brunz- brunch with the girls.

   17. BCBrett Cooper27:09

       Yes. And it's like some of them, I'll read and be like, "Ooh," like, "That part of giving birth does not sound fun, but the end result is worth it, and I don't care 'cause I wanna have a child." But a huge portion of them are, "Ew, your clothes don't fit properly," and, "Oh, I might not be able to go back to my current..." You, you wanna go back and sit in a cubicle when you could have this, like, beautiful, amazing child that you've created with the love of your life, and you're worried about going back and working for the man? Like, I thought you hated the patriarchy. Does not make sense. Um, but no, there is a lot of fearmongering. Um, there are more women than people think that are waking up, though. I was actually planning an episode for next week about this. There have been an influx of women just on my social media alone speaking out about cultural issues, social issues, political issues, talking about voting for Trump. Um, these are not political accounts. These are random influencers, just girls on their, you know, private, personal social medias talking about the things that Biden is doing in regards to Title IX, the transgender issue, that they have been completely woken up, realizing, "Oh, I don't actually want this anymore." Mix that in with the women that are in their 30s that get made fun of constantly on X for crying in their car about the fact that they can't meet a guy because they prioritize their career-

   18. CWChris Williamson28:21

       Mm.

   19. BCBrett Cooper28:21

       ... over dating.

   20. CWChris Williamson28:21

       Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   21. BCBrett Cooper28:22

       And then they just get ripped to shreds by people on the right, which I think is so problematic-

   22. CWChris Williamson28:25

       Yeah, I mean, that's-

   23. BCBrett Cooper28:26

       ... but it's... They are struggling.

   24. CWChris Williamson28:27

       ... this kind of self-owns, uh, you know, as you said before-

   25. BCBrett Cooper28:31

       Yeah.

   26. CWChris Williamson28:31

       ... people on the right that's supposed to be pro-family saying, "But you're gonna give up your career. You just managed to find your success." This is one of the sort of real, uh, areas, I think, of failure, especially for the right. Supposed to be the ones that are rational, we position ourselves up against these, you know, s- super emotional-

   27. BCBrett Cooper28:46

       Mm-hmm.

   28. CWChris Williamson28:46

       ... fucking people on the left. Go, "Dude, you've just taken the piss out of a woman who is the realization that you've said that they're going to have."

   29. BCBrett Cooper28:53

       Yes.

   30. CWChris Williamson28:53

       What do you want? Do you want her to create a time machine and go back in time?
5. 33:22 – 42:12

   The Body Positivity Movement in 2024

   1. CWChris Williamson33:22

      I saw earlier on, an obese woman who diagnosed herself based on Grey's Anatomy.

   2. BCBrett Cooper33:26

      I watched that earlier, yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson33:27

      Got angry with a doctor that she thought was safe-

   4. BCBrett Cooper33:30

      Yeah.

   5. CWChris Williamson33:30

      ... because the doctor suggested that the woman lose weight. The woman asked her to not talk about BMI because of its history as a, "Tool of eugenics, racism-"

   6. BCBrett Cooper33:38

      (laughs)

   7. CWChris Williamson33:38

      "... and colonialism, and I'm Indigenous."

   8. BCBrett Cooper33:40

      Yes. It's pretty great. Did you hear, um... That was actually in my episode today that I filmed before coming here.

   9. CWChris Williamson33:46

      God dammit.

   10. BCBrett Cooper33:47

       And I lo- I... Well, it's great.

   11. CWChris Williamson33:48

       Fucking slipstreaming me-

   12. BCBrett Cooper33:49

       I know.

   13. CWChris Williamson33:49

       ... on the same story.

   14. BCBrett Cooper33:50

       But the thing... Okay, the thing that is... (laughs) I looped it in with the Fat Beach Day that happened in New York-

   15. CWChris Williamson33:56

       What's that?

   16. BCBrett Cooper33:56

       ... uh, the weekend. So obviously, body positivity movement, they need to be accepted. We have not accepted them enough. We have not bent a knee enough. They needed to have their own beach day together so that they could encourage more acceptance. So that happened in New York on Saturday.

   17. CWChris Williamson34:11

       Okay.

   18. BCBrett Cooper34:11

       So it was literally just a bunch of fat people, they went to the beach. And I said this on the show, where I said, "If this was like an interest group, if this was people that were coming together with a common-"

   19. CWChris Williamson34:20

       Pickleball.

   20. BCBrett Cooper34:20

       "... shared exper- " There you go.

   21. CWChris Williamson34:22

       Star Wars.

   22. BCBrett Cooper34:22

       (laughs) Um, if they were coming together because these are people that are trying to lose weight and they need... They are, you know, they have one health problem, they need comradery, they want support-

   23. CWChris Williamson34:32

       Mm-hmm.

   24. BCBrett Cooper34:32

       ... that would be one thing. That's great. I believe that it's wonderful to find people that you, you know, share things with, things that you're going through. That community is important. Just in general, I think our society has lost community.

   25. CWChris Williamson34:43

       Hm.

   26. BCBrett Cooper34:44

       But that's not what this is. This is a bunch of... There was like fat New York City models who went, literally taking their tops off, posing on the beach.

   27. CWChris Williamson34:53

       Ah.

   28. BCBrett Cooper34:53

       I was like, "No, this is not about you wanting support and being healthier. This is literally you fueling your own narcissism and a desire for attention." And I think that they are flailing right now, 'cause I've seen a ton of new body positivity movement, uh, TikToks popping up over the past couple of weeks, because they're losing their hold. With Ozempic, with people waking up just about their health in general-

   29. CWChris Williamson35:13

       Mm-hmm.

   30. BCBrett Cooper35:13

       ... people are losing weight rapidly. There was a really interesting interview from the CEO, um, and head buyers of a lot of different, uh, women's clothing companies and retail stores, and they were saying, "We've never seen, in the last 15 years, we have not seen so many smalls, extra smalls sold." And they're begging for smaller sizes. Like, they're now going down to like triple zero, which has not happened in the last 15 years. And just back in COVID, they were saying, "We need, you know, size 16, 18, 24."
6. 42:12 – 51:45

   Why is Gen-Z So Cynical?

   1. CWChris Williamson42:12

      don't know what's going on. So one of the other trends that I've noticed is kind of generalized cynicism.

   2. BCBrett Cooper42:17

      Mm-hmm.

   3. CWChris Williamson42:17

      And you spend a lot of time in the comment section.

   4. BCBrett Cooper42:19

      Yeah.

   5. CWChris Williamson42:19

      A lot of people in your audience are Gen Z. Why are Gen Z so despondent? Why is there such generalized cynicism? Is that true? Is that just what we see rise to the surface? What- what's the kind of cultural temperature at the moment for Gen Z?

   6. BCBrett Cooper42:31

      I think that there is a lot of cynicism. I think that it can be kind of politically divided. I think Gen Z on the left is a lot more cynical. Um, but I think that also just goes back to people on the left, especially young people on the left, um, it's fueled by this, you know, desire for victimhood. There's no good in the world. I shouldn't have children because, you know, the world is gonna go up in flames and there's gonna be no Earth anymore and I don't wanna populate the Earth. I don't wanna bring a child into the world. I mean, it's... it is very, very cynical.... on the right, especially people that are, you know, more driven by their faith, there's a- a lot of hope and a lot of encouragement. I also don't think that they really bog themselves down with that kind of cynicism. But for just making a generalized statement, every generation has gone through hard things, and so I think that it is not honest and kind of irresponsible to say, "Oh, well, Gen Z has, like, has really had it tough because of COVID. You know, they were born, you know, post-9/11 and the world changed and-"

   7. CWChris Williamson43:31

      Mm.

   8. BCBrett Cooper43:32

      "... um, you know, and then Trump came in and there was so much..." I'm just like, there's- we weren't alive during polio and, you know, we don't have any actual wars that we are physically- like, our men are not being drafted right now. Maybe they will be, I don't know, if they're trying to get women drafted. Um, but right now things are okay. Like, we are better off than we have ever been in the history of the world. We are richer, we are healthier, we are happier, by and large. And so I don't think it's correct to say that Gen Z has been through more. I think we've been through different things. The digital age, we are the first generation that was raised fully online. We are more exposed to seeing things around the world. No generation before us has had this much of an unbridled access to the problems consuming other countries and other societies. So maybe it's a little bit of like, you know, we don't have that innocence as bliss.

   9. CWChris Williamson44:19

      Mm-hmm.

   10. BCBrett Cooper44:20

       Um, COVID obviously was very, very difficult for my generation, and I think that sent them on a spiral because obviously- or already we were, you know, our socialization was not up to snuff compared to older generations, just because of the digital age. COVID only made that worse. So again, I don't think that we are worse off. We are just dealing with something different that no other generation has had to encounter before. And I-

   11. CWChris Williamson44:44

       It's int-

   12. BCBrett Cooper44:44

       ... think that they wear that kind of as a chip on their shoulder as well. "You don't get it. You don't get it."

   13. CWChris Williamson44:48

       Hmm.

   14. BCBrett Cooper44:48

       And it's like, well, no, we- we understand. We can point to the reasons why, but still, take a step back and see that the world is better than it has ever been before. You have more opportunities than you've ever had. Obviously, there are problems. There will always be problems. That's life. Like, as a human being, you are always gonna have hurdles. It's kind of the name of the game. And I think that Gen Z is putting themsel- has put themselves in this situation where it's like any of those hurdles, it's like, "Aah, I'm out. It's triggering. I now have depression, anxiety. I need to be, you know, medicated. There's no point in living anymore." It's like they are- they've just thrown in the towel.

   15. CWChris Williamson45:23

       It's easy, I think, for people who aren't from that generation to look at it and say, "Well, look, this is just online. These are terminally online people. There's nothing to worry about. Uh, you know, this isn't a problem, it's just a problem on the internet."

   16. BCBrett Cooper45:35

       Yeah.

   17. CWChris Williamson45:35

       But I looked at some stats recently that said the average amount of time that an American spends asleep is six hours and 15 minutes-

   18. BCBrett Cooper45:41

       Mm-hmm.

   19. CWChris Williamson45:41

       ... and their total screen time per day is eight hours, so they're on screens for more than they are asleep.

   20. BCBrett Cooper45:46

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson45:47

       The virtual world is more real than the real world.

   22. BCBrett Cooper45:49

       I- correct.

   23. CWChris Williamson45:49

       So that is t- for you to say this is just online, it's like you have got the bar stool upside down.

   24. BCBrett Cooper45:54

       Yeah.

   25. CWChris Williamson45:55

       It- online-

   26. BCBrett Cooper45:55

       It's all online.

   27. CWChris Williamson45:56

       ... is life.

   28. BCBrett Cooper45:57

       Yeah.

   29. CWChris Williamson45:57

       That is life for these people.

   30. BCBrett Cooper45:59

       Yeah.
7. 51:45 – 54:26

   Why Young Girls Are Self-Harming

   1. CWChris Williamson51:45

      2009, more than twice as many 15 to 19-year-old girls and young women have been admitted to the ER for self-harm behaviors in the US. Even more shocking, five times more 10 to 14-year-old girls were admitted to the ER for self-harm in 2022 than in 2009. That's five times more families taking their fourth to ninth grade daughters to the hospital because they have intentionally harmed themselves.

   2. BCBrett Cooper52:05

      It's awful.

   3. CWChris Williamson52:06

      Where's this coming from?

   4. BCBrett Cooper52:09

      A lot of it social media. Um, I said something recently on a show because I covered a woman who got a lot of flak on TikTok for talking about her strict rules with her children, where she does not allow them to take their phones into their bedrooms. They have time limits on their social media apps. Most ridiculous thing was they have to tell her where they're going to go before they go so that she knows where they are. And parents are like, "Oh my gosh, you're a stalker." It's like, no, you wanna know where your 15-year-old daughter is going to be. Anyway, so I talked about her, and I basically said, in terms of social media, point me to one study that says that social media is good for young adults, for young women specifically. There is not one. There's not one that even says it is fine. It is all detrimental. Um, and so I think that plays a huge part in it, again, because of what they're seeing and the peer pressure online and the standards that they're setting for themselves that they now want to try to adopt because they, they see this influencer doing this. They see this person, you know, in Bali on a beach with their hot boyfriend, and they don't have that, and they'll never be that. They see, you know, these now 13-year-old little girl influencers who are going to press events and getting PR packages. Like, it's starting so, so young, and women are very susceptible to that. Purity as a woman is one of the worst things you will ever go through. You feel s- You feel like the most ugly duckling on planet Earth. I was so ugly. It was terrible 'cause I sprouted, I would say, earlier, but I still had a baby face, and I had a bowl cut, and I was like 5'6". Um, already was, you know, super tall.

   5. CWChris Williamson53:40

      Hey, you guys.

   6. BCBrett Cooper53:42

      Yes. I was j- It was so weird, and it was so awkward. No boys liked me, and you feel so insecure. And then that being heightened by social media, by COVID and having to live online, I think it's just a perfect storm. Um, it also doesn't help that social media has almost encouraged having a mental illness-

   7. CWChris Williamson54:05

      Mm-hmm.

   8. BCBrett Cooper54:05

      ... in a lot of ways, and Jordan talked-

   9. CWChris Williamson54:06

      It's glorified that pathology.

   10. BCBrett Cooper54:07

       Yes, and Jordan has talked a lot about, you know, social contagion. I think that is absolutely real. It is the cool thing to be depressed. It is a badge of honor to have anxiety and be dealing with it. And the more that they engage with that and tell themselves that they are, obviously you're going to become that. Um, again, it's just a, a perfect storm.

8. 54:26 – 1:07:19

   Brett’s Experiences as a Child Actor in Hollywood

   1. BCBrett Cooper54:26

   2. CWChris Williamson54:26

      You worked in Hollywood as a child actor.

   3. BCBrett Cooper54:28

      Yes.

   4. CWChris Williamson54:29

      What did you make about the recent news on Nickelodeon-

   5. BCBrett Cooper54:32

      Yeah.

   6. CWChris Williamson54:32

      ... and quiet on set and all of that?

   7. BCBrett Cooper54:36

      None of it surprises me at all. I feel very, very lucky because I had a great experience. But I had a fantastic experience because I had a mother that was literally a shark, who was so... I, I just cannot say enough good things about her. Who was so engaged in every part of my upbringing and my career, not as a momager, but as a mother. Someone who knew that this industry had the reputation that it did. She already knew about the casting couch. She knew about, uh, child actors and the drug usage and the scandals. She was not interested in me doing any of that. Um, but I loved it. Like, I lived...... for performing. That's all I wanted to do. Um, and so she saw that in me and wanted to be able to support that. And I've seen a lot of comments, actually, of people saying, you know, "If your mom knew these things about the industry, why did she let you move to LA to audition? Why did she take you to New York so that you could go audition for Broadway shows?" Um, I just want to take that o- this opportunity to answer it. My brother died when I was five years old. He was 17. He was an artist, super, super creative, and up until that point, my mom had kind of tried not to put my brothers in a, a box, but she was like, you know, it, it was a more of a one-size-fits-all parenting approach. Um, my brother who died is a twin, and so she kind of put the twins together and she was dealing with her failing marriage with my father, and that kind of took priority over the kids. And after he died, she made a conscious decision with me that she was gonna completely change that. She was like, "I'm not going to prioritize this marriage that is, you know... There is no future," really. She had already kind of decided, both of them had decided that. "I'm gonna put this child first." And then, one thing that she said is, you know, "If I knew that David was gonna die at 17 years old, and he had all of these ambitions and things that he wanted to accomplish, what would I have done to make sure that he got those opportunities, that he got to enjoy every aspect of that?" And so that's why we did it, because she saw that I loved it. I came alive when I was on stage. Um, a lot of things in my family I think really shut me down. Losing my brother at a young age, my parents' relationship obviously took a major turn for the worse after he died. My brothers really kind of went off the deep end in a lot of ways as well. I became very closed off, suppressed. I would literally, like, hide in kitchen cabinets when people would come over 'cause I didn't wanna speak. That all went away when I got on stage and was performing. And so she wanted to keep that up as much as possible 'cause that was my one outlet. So anyway, that's kind of the backstory of how I ended up there and why she was willing to put me in those situations, and also why she was so willing to protect me. Um, so then back to the point, I knew all of that growing up. I knew that it was happening. I had experiences, nothing like what was discussed on, um... Why am I blanking here?

   8. CWChris Williamson57:29

      Quiet on Set.

   9. BCBrett Cooper57:29

      Quiet on Set. I was about to say After Dark. Quiet on Set. Um, you know, Jennette McCurdy wrote her fantastic book, uh, I'm Glad My Mom Died, about her very abusive mother, momager, and her experience with Dan Schneider. Who she didn't name in her book, but she just called him "the creator", obviously for legal reasons. Um, so when I read her book, I remember getting to the end of her book, literally just like crying 'cause I was like, "Oh my God."

   10. CWChris Williamson57:50

       Did you ever interact with Dan Schneider?

   11. BCBrett Cooper57:53

       No.

   12. CWChris Williamson57:53

       Right.

   13. BCBrett Cooper57:53

       I auditioned for some of his projects. I don't know if I was ever in the room with him. I mean, it was literally he was so prolific in Hollywood still at the time when I was coming up that at least once a week there would be... I could probably go back in my old email now and, you know, Untitled Dan Schneider Project, Untitled Dan Schneider Project. My mom already knew about that reputation. It was so commonplace that he was a creep that I think I might have auditioned for a couple of them, but she drew a line in the sand and said, "That guy's a weirdo, she's not going out for any of those projects."

   14. CWChris Williamson58:20

       Wow.

   15. BCBrett Cooper58:20

       "She's not gonna go work at Nickelodeon." I desperately wanted to be on the modern iteration of Boy Meets World, which is called Girl Meets World, um, which obviously catapulted Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter to fame, and desperately wanted it. And so I like fought with my mom. I was like, "Please let me go out for this, please let me go out for this." She did not want me on Disney Channel, did not want me on Nickelodeon, because she knew that those children's networks were so filled with creeps. And I ended up doing one children's show at a different network, and that is where my bad experience was. And it's so predictable because it's the men who choose to work with children, with young girls.

   16. CWChris Williamson58:57

       What happened?

   17. BCBrett Cooper58:59

       Um, it was after the show had ended, and I actually, I told this story with Jordan and I got a call from my mom. She was like, "You missed an important component of the story," so I can actually share that here. Um, it was the writer on the show, and he had wanted to connect with me and another girl who were on the show, and you know, he was always writing new things and "I'm gonna create another show," in Hollywood it's very normal, you know, "Oh, let's go have coffee or lunch with this, you know, person who could get you this next job." It's always like, "What's gonna get me the next job?" So they had reached out, he had reached out to this girl who was a co-star on the show with me, who was a very, very good friend of mine at the time. And her mom reached out to mine, I think he had mentioned something about, "Oh, I'd love to see Brett as well," so her mom reached out to mine and said, "Hey, you know, Brett's friend is going to go meet up with this guy. Would Brett like to go and connect with him and, you know, it'd be great, he wants to see her?" And so we ended up going to the Griffith Observatory, and this woman told my mom, you know, "I'm gonna be with them the entire time, I'm gonna watch them, don't worry, I'll be the parent in the room." My mom said, "Okay, great." Last time she ever trusted anybody in that regard. And so my mom dropped me off, I went up there. Her mother was nowhere in sight. Watched from the car basically. Walked around the Griffith Observatory, this man immediately launches into his lesbian fantasies that he has with me and this other girl, at 14 years old. Again, the creator and writer of a children's show. And I get immediately very, very weirded out. Um, you know, we're walking, there's this part in the Griffith Observatory where you can go and you see what your weight would be if you're out, you know, on the moon or in space. And so we went and like stood on this and he looked at my friend and said, "Oh, I want to know how much you weigh with your clothes off." It's like stuff like that. And so then we finally got out of the museum, he's told us about our lesbian fantasies, whatever. We're walking back towards the restaurant and he sticks his hand in our back pockets like as he's walking, like this. And I immediately am just like, "Abso- get off of me." My friend shoots me a look like, "Don't screw this up for me, like don't say anything." So I don't, so we just keep walking, get back to the car, whatever. I immediately, you know, dropped off at my house, I talked to my mom, "This is so weird, I never want to be around this man again. This was so uncomfortable, so creepy." My mom calls her mom, her mom admits that she knew.That's why she wanted me there, because I would be a buffer. She said, "Oh, you know, we know that he's weird. We've gotten very weird vibes. I didn't want her to be alone with him, so we wanted Brett to be there." So she knew. But she was so desperate to have her daughter, and her daughter was so desperate, I don't know if it was coming from her or coming from her mother, to be in this room and not rock the boat because she desperately wanted a new show, a new audition, a new job, that she was willing to take it and be in that space and then put another child in that situation and that that, that was normal. And this guy would show up too. He was very enmeshed in my friend group for a long time because he just worked with all these young people. Would show up to teenage birthday parties where maybe, like, you know, an acting teacher or somebody would drop by and drop a present. "Hey, happy birthday, you know, whoever your name is. Have a great party," whatever. This guy would come, stay until 2:00 AM with 16 and 17-year-olds who are obviously, like, getting drunk and getting high, whatever teenage actors are doing. Painted portraits of child actors, was a whole thing on his social media. I was just very, very weird. Um, and that was, that, it's nothing compared to what so many have been through, but even in my limited experience, even with a mother that was so, so careful that I still had that. And I think that, um, I was in an interesting position because I, I loved acting and I loved my career and I loved working, but my mom had done a very good job kind of saying that, you know, "This is not your whole identity. This isn't your whole life. You never have to do anything that you're not comfortable with. Like, acting is fun. It should always be fun. It should be a hobby. You should never cross any lines that you're not willing to cross for that." And I don't think that was instilled in my peers. So, like, my friend who was, you know, shot me that death stare, "Don't you, like, don't say anything about him touching my butt." And th- this man groping a 14-year-old, 15-year-old, I think she was a year older than me, um, I didn't have that. I didn't care. I was like, "Who cares if he doesn't like me?" Um, and again, my mom knew all of this going into it. She put me in self-defense, um, against sexual assault, women's health defense against sexual assault. Starting at age 11 or 12, I was fighting literally in, like, rape scenarios, date rape situations. Would do that twice a week, was in private lessons, did that for probably seven years and I think that was a huge part of it. Martial arts are just, I think, so important for both men and women, but especially young girls. I think it's so underrated because the confidence that I had because of that, because I knew how to defend myself, because one of the first things that you learn is how to say no and how to use your voice.

   18. CWChris Williamson1:04:03

       Mm.

   19. BCBrett Cooper1:04:03

       And understanding that where you're being touched, that's not right. Um, I had that and she didn't. And I don't... And that's why I was, you know, put in those classes because my mom was like, "You're going into rooms with people that I don't know. You know, you're being brought in by a casting director to go into a room for 15 minutes and do a scene. I have no idea what they're doing to you in there. You need to know, again, what is appropriate and what's not."

   20. CWChris Williamson1:04:24

       Isn't it interesting, this sort of line that is kind of similar to helicopter parenting-

   21. BCBrett Cooper1:04:29

       Mm-hmm.

   22. CWChris Williamson1:04:29

       ... but done in a empowered, safe-

   23. BCBrett Cooper1:04:32

       Yeah.

   24. CWChris Williamson1:04:32

       ... way that's aiming to try and give you as much independence and security-

   25. BCBrett Cooper1:04:35

       Yeah.

   26. CWChris Williamson1:04:35

       ... as possible? You could-

   27. BCBrett Cooper1:04:36

       It was the, it was the foundation that was more of a, not a helicopter, but, like, "I'm gonna be very, very careful so that then you can go out-

   28. CWChris Williamson1:04:42

       Mm-hmm.

   29. BCBrett Cooper1:04:43

       ... and do whatever you want, and I know."

   30. CWChris Williamson1:04:44

       But it's, uh, you know, similar to the flirting and how to detect whether or not someone likes you-

Episode duration: 2:43:03