The Spirituality Of White Feral Girl Privilege - Chase Reeves

1. 0:00 – 0:20

   Intro

   1. CWChris Williamson0:00

      The vast majority of people that are in their 30s or 40s that look at the current world of Insta, Tinder dating-

   2. CRChase Reeves0:06

      Mm-hmm.

   3. CWChris Williamson0:06

      ... and sort of free and easy sex that's become decoupled from making babies or relationships would get eaten a fucking live if they entered the modern dating market.

   4. CRChase Reeves0:13

      Mm-hmm.

   5. CWChris Williamson0:17

      Chase Reeves, welcome to the show.

   6. CRChase Reeves0:18

      Odalay.

   7. CWChris Williamson0:19

      How are you

2. 0:20 – 9:59

   Realising the Humanity of Heroes

   1. CWChris Williamson0:20

      doing?

   2. CRChase Reeves0:20

      Good, man. How are you?

   3. CWChris Williamson0:21

      Very well. I saw a quote the other day from, uh, Jason Pargin, who said, "Accept that all of your heroes are full of shit. Your heroes aren't gods. They're just regular people who probably got good at one thing by neglecting literally everything else."

   4. CRChase Reeves0:36

      Mm.

   5. CWChris Williamson0:36

      What do you think of that?

   6. CRChase Reeves0:37

      Yes. (laughs) I think yes. Uh, I think, uh, it puts me in mind of, there's a singer-songwriter named Ryan Adams, who I loved for a long time, and I had several opportunities to go see him, but ne- uh, always choosing not to, for exactly that reason. Like, I didn't wa- I wanted to continue enjoying his music the way that I had, and I just felt like it was gonna change it.

   7. CWChris Williamson1:02

      Why?

   8. CRChase Reeves1:02

      Because I've had that experience a lot, where you, you realize the humanity of your heroes, and it's an important, it's an important thing to learn if you're in the world, like, making stuff. I s- fancy myself someone's future hero, I think. (laughs) At least my sons. (laughs) My daughters, maybe. But experiencing the humanity of people that you have idolized in some way can, l- l- like, I, it's just happened a lot. It's happened a lot. It's been a big part of, like, you know, modern wisdom. It's been in part, big part of, like, coming to... terms with how life ends up really working. That point about them neglecting all the other parts of their life, it's like, Alan Watts, huge fan of Alan Watts, right? Well, if you've learned more about how his days ended, it's like, "Oh, wow, that contextualizes Alan Watts a little bit."

   9. CWChris Williamson1:58

      How did, does his day end?

   10. CRChase Reeves1:59

       He kinda, he basically, he, he died of, like, alcohol consumption, and there's, it's, it's not fully, uh, there's still some, you can find s- on- online some writings from some of his friends going like, "I mean, here's the deal, guys." Alan Watts, you can hear him in, several times going, "I just like drinking," you know? "I just," (laughs) "I just like it." Um, and that was kind of a part of his spirituality in some ways. Not the drinking, but just like the being into what you're into. But he had some speaking gigs booked. There was stuff that he was looking forward to doing in life, but he expired, right? And you just think, and my buddy Jay always brings that up to me about, 'cause he knows I like Alan Watts or something, and it's that, I, I'm a follower of spiritual teachers. Oftentimes, like a Ram Dass has meant a lot to me and stuff, and, uh, I love that Ram Dass will say something like my brother calls me, "Rammed ass." You know? (laughs) I love the humanity there. And you also get to hear stories of Ram Dass is a very sexually active guy through his life, you know? We put people on pedestals. We project onto them what I, uh, like kind of, I'm projecting onto them based on where I feel like my i- inequity is, or something like that, where my detriments are.

   11. CWChris Williamson3:18

       Th- they fill in all of the fallibilities that you have.

   12. CRChase Reeves3:21

       Yeah, they just provide this screen for me to constantly criticize myself in order to get better or something.

   13. CWChris Williamson3:26

       You would be more like Alan Watts. You would be more like Ram Dass. Why can't you present and-

   14. CRChase Reeves3:29

       Yeah, and I feel like it's-

   15. CWChris Williamson3:31

       ... elucidate in a way?

   16. CRChase Reeves3:32

       ... it's humanizing to realize the shadow side or the, the humanity of, of anyone.

   17. CWChris Williamson3:36

       It's the lack. It's the la- I think the shadow side has a degree of sort of beauty to it, but when you realize that Christopher Hitchens died because he smoked cigarettes.

   18. CRChase Reeves3:44

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson3:45

       Probably.

   20. CRChase Reeves3:46

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson3:46

       Or the fact that, you know, really, Alan, as one of the most popular spiritual teachers of the 1900s, you're gonna be defeated by alcohol.

   22. CRChase Reeves3:56

       Yeah, right.

   23. CWChris Williamson3:56

       You know? It just seems like it's such a banal, unceremonial way to go.

   24. CRChase Reeves4:01

       And yet, I, I would interpret it through the lens of his own sort of, uh, perspective around, like, life is here for you to explore what you want about it, and he's like, "I like it." You know? (laughs)

   25. CWChris Williamson4:12

       Aubrey said the same thing the first time that I had him on the show. He said, "Life is for doing the things."

   26. CRChase Reeves4:17

       Yeah.

   27. CWChris Williamson4:17

       Says you're supposed to make love, and travel, and take drugs, not all the drugs, but some of the drugs-

   28. CRChase Reeves4:23

       Yeah, yeah.

   29. CWChris Williamson4:23

       ... and live and be where your feet are, and, and, uh, Naval also says that it's far easier to achieve your material desires than to renounce them.

   30. CRChase Reeves4:31

       Mm.
3. 9:59 – 16:38

   Current State of the Dating Market

   1. CRChase Reeves9:59

      telling my f-

   2. CWChris Williamson9:59

      Dude, let me, let me provide a little bit of a red pill for you as-

   3. CRChase Reeves10:03

      Let's hear it.

   4. CWChris Williamson10:03

      ... s- somebody who's spent a lot of time around people that are going out to sleep with new people on a weekly basis in club nights, right? You've been with your wife, she was the fi- first person you ever slept with.

   5. CRChase Reeves10:13

      Yeah.

   6. CWChris Williamson10:13

      Yeah, and you've been with her for 17 years now.

   7. CRChase Reeves10:15

      Yeah.

   8. CWChris Williamson10:16

      Um, the vast majority of people that are in their 30s or 40s that look at the current world of Insta, Tinder dating-

   9. CRChase Reeves10:23

      Mm-hmm.

   10. CWChris Williamson10:23

       ... and sort of free and easy sex that's become decoupled from making babies or relationships would get eaten a-fucking-live if they entered the modern dating market.

   11. CRChase Reeves10:31

       Mm-hmm.

   12. CWChris Williamson10:31

       Not that they wouldn't be able to pull, not that they wouldn't be able to go home with people, but that what you're used to, the sort of connection that you're used to, it is so much more vapid and hollow when-

   13. CRChase Reeves10:43

       Yeah.

   14. CWChris Williamson10:43

       ... like, like, the- the most exciting part of going back with somebody is, uh, if it's after a night out or you've been out for dinner or you've been out on a date or you're driving o- over to their house for the first time or whatever, it's the drive, it's the anticipation, it's getting there and not knowing what to expect.

   15. CRChase Reeves10:56

       Mm.

   16. CWChris Williamson10:56

       It's a- a degree of uncertainty and excitement and stuff. But a lot of the time if it's casual sex, the post nut clarity-

   17. CRChase Reeves11:05

       Yeah.

   18. CWChris Williamson11:05

       ... will hit you in the face harder-

   19. CRChase Reeves11:07

       Yeah.

   20. CWChris Williamson11:07

       ... than you can possibly imagine.

   21. CRChase Reeves11:08

       Yeah. Yeah.

   22. CWChris Williamson11:08

       And you're laid there thinking, (sighs) like, not why have I done this or like what am I doing, but there i- there's some existential crises. I can't, I think it's Nietzsche who said, um, "After copulation, the devil's laughter can be heard."

   23. CRChase Reeves11:22

       Right. Right.

   24. CWChris Williamson11:23

       And in that moment, guys, the- the, uh, post nut clarity is a hell of a drug, man.

   25. CRChase Reeves11:29

       Yeah.

   26. CWChris Williamson11:29

       It really will take your face off.

   27. CRChase Reeves11:30

       Yeah.

   28. CWChris Williamson11:32

       That is, for the most part, the experience that you have.

   29. CRChase Reeves11:36

       Mm-hmm.

   30. CWChris Williamson11:36

       You know, the sex bit, you know, even if you're an absolute stud is what? 30, 40 minutes long?
4. 16:38 – 23:28

   Having Principles Over Plans

   1. CRChase Reeves16:38

   2. CWChris Williamson16:39

      I'm not very good at doing long-term plans, man.

   3. CRChase Reeves16:41

      Yeah.

   4. CWChris Williamson16:41

      I've always sucked at them, you know, the whole what do you want written on your gravestone thing, in, in terms of, uh, especially actual outcomes, I've never been good at. And it's always made me feel a bit, I don't know, insufficient or, or, uh, deficient-

   5. CRChase Reeves16:55

      Mm-hmm.

   6. CWChris Williamson16:55

      ... in some way. And I've got these friends like Ali Abdaal, you know, famous productivity YouTuber-

   7. CRChase Reeves17:00

      Mm-hmm.

   8. CWChris Williamson17:00

      ... and he'll-

   9. CRChase Reeves17:01

      He just blew up.

   10. CWChris Williamson17:02

       Yeah, yeah-

   11. CRChase Reeves17:02

       I'm just looking at him, I'm like-

   12. CWChris Williamson17:03

       ... he's out of fucking nowhere. Yeah, it's-

   13. CRChase Reeves17:03

       ... "Wh- where? Uh, uh, uh."

   14. CWChris Williamson17:05

       ... three mil on YouTube now.

   15. CRChase Reeves17:06

       "What am I doing with my life?"

   16. CWChris Williamson17:07

       But he'll have, on his wall, some unbelievable framework written by the best timeline guide writer of the 1900s-

   17. CRChase Reeves17:16

       Mm-hmm.

   18. CWChris Williamson17:16

       ... and he'll have mapped everything out. That's simply not the way that I work-

   19. CRChase Reeves17:20

       Mm-hmm.

   20. CWChris Williamson17:20

       ... and it, it never has been. And I always felt a little bit deficient because I felt like being in this space, uh, and flirting with productivity a little bit, which everyone does, anyone in knowledge work's flirted with productivity. Uh, it felt like I should have that stuff on lock. And I- I've never had it-

   21. CRChase Reeves17:35

       Mm-hmm.

   22. CWChris Williamson17:35

       ... sorted, and it's never worked for me. The things that I've found that have worked for me are, find a thing that I'm good at, go very narrow and deep on that one thing, develop skills, and then broaden out from there. And that seems to be the best way, you know? So, principles scale very well, principles and values scale very well-

   23. CRChase Reeves17:54

       Mm-hmm.

   24. CWChris Williamson17:54

       ... and they're very flexible.

   25. CRChase Reeves17:55

       Mm-hmm.

   26. CWChris Williamson17:56

       So, uh, th- the way that you have principles and values around your relationship with your wife will inform the way that you run your business-

   27. CRChase Reeves18:02

       Mm-hmm.

   28. CWChris Williamson18:02

       ... and it'll inform the way that you show up with your friends, and it'll inform the way that you negotiate with the waitress that brought you the wrong dinner-

   29. CRChase Reeves18:08

       Mm-hmm.

   30. CWChris Williamson18:08

       ... at a restaurant.
5. 23:28 – 33:30

   The Fear of Insufficiency

   1. CWChris Williamson23:28

      it fundamentally comes from a fear of the fact that we're not worthy, you know?

   2. CRChase Reeves23:32

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson23:32

      Like, this is, uh, uh, one of the most common...

   4. CRChase Reeves23:34

      Yeah.

   5. CWChris Williamson23:34

      ... patterns that I see amongst high achievers, especially male high achievers that are solo rangers, is that they, they hope that if they're successful and useful, that people will need them.

   6. CRChase Reeves23:48

      Mm.

   7. CWChris Williamson23:48

      Not that people want them...

   8. CRChase Reeves23:50

      Mm.

   9. CWChris Williamson23:50

      ... because they don't think that people want them.

   10. CRChase Reeves23:52

       Yeah.

   11. CWChris Williamson23:52

       They think that if they make...

   12. CRChase Reeves23:53

       Mm-hmm.

   13. CWChris Williamson23:53

       ... themselves sufficiently indisposable, that people will have to want them.

   14. CRChase Reeves23:56

       Yeah. Yeah.

   15. CWChris Williamson23:57

       And that's a pattern that can propel people to really, really good things.

   16. CRChase Reeves24:01

       Mm.

   17. CWChris Williamson24:01

       You know, you can be incredibly successful driven by fears of insufficiency.

   18. CRChase Reeves24:04

       Oh, man. It's, isn't... Is, is there any other way, right?

   19. CWChris Williamson24:07

       Well, I think there is. I mean, the, you know... So Peterson's got this experiment he talks about where they put starving rats in a tube, and they waft the smell of cheese in from the front. There's a little spring attached to the rat's tail that-... judges the force of how fast they run away.

   20. CRChase Reeves24:19

       Mm.

   21. CWChris Williamson24:19

       And you'd think, well, these rats are starving and that's the smell of food, they'd be pulling as hard as they could.

   22. CRChase Reeves24:23

       Mm.

   23. CWChris Williamson24:23

       Then they do another iteration and they waft the smell of cheese in from the front and the smell of a cat in from behind-

   24. CRChase Reeves24:28

       Mm.

   25. CWChris Williamson24:28

       ... and the rats pull even harder.

   26. CRChase Reeves24:29

       Yeah.

   27. CWChris Williamson24:30

       It's like, okay, well, what's the lesson from that? It's like, you need to run towards something that you want, but also away from something that you fear.

   28. CRChase Reeves24:35

       Yeah. Yeah.

   29. CWChris Williamson24:35

       And I'm not convinced that... I'm not convinced that everybody that goes on to achieve great things is doing it driven from a place of insufficiency. I think that most people are. I think if you were to look at most high performers in the world, most successful people, I think that on average high performers are less happy-

   30. CRChase Reeves24:55

       Mm.
6. 33:30 – 43:16

   Feral Girl Summer

   1. CWChris Williamson33:30

      to try out Topo Chico. It's-

   2. CRChase Reeves33:31

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson33:31

      So I wanted to talk about feral girl summer, uh, which I saw in The Independent a little while ago. "Feral girl summer is the latest dating trend to make single f- uh, single women feel inadequate. A new TikTok trend is encouraging women to embrace their 'authentic' selves, but what does it say about the pressures society places on women without partners?" So, as you might be aware, hot girl summer was a thing that was promoted, was it by, who did it, Megan the s- Megan Thee Stallion, uh, to capture the post-pandemic spirit of last year, trended on TikTok and Instagram, hot girl summer. Uh, and feral girl summer is about not shaving your legs. It's about thinking, uh, it's, (laughs) think Fleabag with a sprinkle of someone who has been at Glastonbury for three weeks. Ostensibly, the feral girl summer is not about dating, but as with hot girl summer, its definition is dependent on it. According to the dating app Badoo, 87% of female users felt pressured to have a hot girl summer in 2021, with 71% saying that this impacted their dating life. So, feral girl summer is whatever the opposite is of hot girl summer. It's talking about female autonomy, it's not giving a fuck. The attitude is similar to that perpetuated by the cool girl trope, problematic yet seductive depiction of subdued femininity created for the male gaze. So this is somehow, this is a trend created by women for women-

   4. CRChase Reeves34:48

      Mm.

   5. CWChris Williamson34:48

      ... but has somehow been, uh, screwed back around to it being a product of the patriarchy and its oppressive cis-heteronormative-

   6. CRChase Reeves34:55

      Is that what they're saying, that it's a product of the patriarchy?

   7. CWChris Williamson34:58

      Oh, everything is. Uh, similar, another Tik- (laughs) TikTok trend, goblin mode. Have you seen that? (laughs)

   8. CRChase Reeves35:06

      No. No. No, I like that though.

   9. CWChris Williamson35:07

      Goblin mode, the feral girl summer encourages women to forego beauty rituals in favor of more radicalized, unkempt aesthetics. You have to be your authentic self in order to qualify, and that apparently means throwing away your razor. Why? Because conforming to beauty standards makes us f- makes us bad feminists. Is having hairy legs supposed to make us feel empowered when we have sex? And if it doesn't, does that make us a failure? So basically it's a very unfalsifiable idea that womanhood is, um, archaic ideologies around womanhood-

   10. CRChase Reeves35:34

       Mm.

   11. CWChris Williamson35:34

       ... and this is something that's put forward by men. And you go, "Well, look at where most of the criticism about women's appearances come from."

   12. CRChase Reeves35:41

       Mm.

   13. CWChris Williamson35:42

       It's not men.

   14. CRChase Reeves35:43

       Mm。

   15. CWChris Williamson35:44

       It's mostly other women. Men criticize men and women criticize women. That doesn't mean that there isn't crossover, but beauty standards for women aren't created by men. We don't give a fuck about your new fast fashion and whether pastel shades are in, and whether... You remember a thigh gap, when a thigh gap was a thing? And now it's whether you've got like a big boo- a big bum.

   16. CRChase Reeves36:05

       Mm.

   17. CWChris Williamson36:06

       All of that came from women to women. It wasn't us. But the feral girl summer thing, I just think is, it- it's very, very interesting because it's always, it's showing very quickly this sort of vacillation from one extreme to another. Hot girl summer was supposed to be the pandemic's locked everybody down, summer's here, you're supposed to be your best self and go out and be glamorous with your friends and go to festivals and wear white boots and stuff like that.... within one year-

   18. CRChase Reeves36:32

       Mm.

   19. CWChris Williamson36:33

       ... it's now whatever the exact opposite is.

   20. CRChase Reeves36:34

       Well, it makes sense. They're really the same energy.

   21. CWChris Williamson36:37

       How do you mean?

   22. CRChase Reeves36:38

       Like, it's s- it's the sa- it, it's like they're actually, not only, yeah, they're two sides of the same coin, right? So it's really the same... I, I totally relate to the idea of, of trying to, trying to look a certain way, right? I mean, my whole life I've been so aesthetically minded, but, like, not, like, with necessarily good aesthetics, right? I was, like, a hardcore kid in the Bay Area, all black and, you know, I had, like-

   23. CWChris Williamson37:02

       (laughs)

   24. CRChase Reeves37:02

       ... a neck full of handmade beaded necklaces that showed you how straight edge I was or something like that, right?

   25. CWChris Williamson37:07

       Do you have the black cross on the back of the hand?

   26. CRChase Reeves37:09

       When we went to shows, sure.

   27. CWChris Williamson37:10

       Let's go.

   28. CRChase Reeves37:11

       Yeah. So, but, like, the aesthetics, li- like, my brother says I took myself out of the game before I was e- before it even started, right? Like, um, they're the same, they're, they're the same energy because back to the bit about authenticity, like, you're... You, you have to kind of know yourself a little bit to try to be honest about your inauthenticity, and I think it's actually quite hard to be honest about your in- inauthenticity, um, to even, to even grok it in any sort of way, right? It's like, it's actually kind of running in the background a bit, and it's hard to, to get back, uh, than it... It's harder to get back there than it is to, like, try something like this, which is very clear, be hot, this, which is very clear, be not hot. You know, it's like, oh, this is the, this feels like the same thing, be. You know-

   29. CWChris Williamson38:01

       Yeah.

   30. CRChase Reeves38:01

       ... be some... Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline, it's like be-
7. 43:16 – 54:11

   White Gay Privilege

   1. CWChris Williamson43:16

      Yeah, exactly.

   2. CRChase Reeves43:16

      You know?

   3. CWChris Williamson43:16

      Right. Okay. So we've also got, uh, white gay privilege. So there was an article that came out today, uh, for LGBTQ+ people of color, racism also impacts how they are perceived. It is a sad reality that being part of a marginalized societal group exposes you to hate, discrimination, and u- unequal treatment. It's a fact well-known by people in the LGBT ch- clue, Q+ community who experience this kind of hostility based on their gender and/or sexuality. However, for people whose identities intersect multiple marginalized groups, there are more things to consider. For people of color, racism also impacts how they are perceived and treated by wider society, so people from the LGBTQ+ community who do not have to worry about racism as well possess white gay privilege. "I think I knew white gay privilege was a thing before we had a name for it," Lady Phyll, one of the founders of UK Black Pride, tells metro.co.uk. And this is just the beginning of intersectionality eating its own.

   4. CRChase Reeves44:15

      Mm. Mm.

   5. CWChris Williamson44:15

      I think. The fact that as soon as you have intersecting, uh, hierarchies of grievance and privilege, it's no longer enough to just be gay. You know, uh, Douglas Murray was sat in that very seat where you're sat.

   6. CRChase Reeves44:28

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   7. CWChris Williamson44:28

      And he said that because he's gay and Conservative, he's basically straight now.

   8. CRChase Reeves44:31

      Mm-hmm.

   9. CWChris Williamson44:32

      He's an honorary straight.

   10. CRChase Reeves44:33

       Mm. Mm.

   11. CWChris Williamson44:34

       And, uh, this, I mean, if no one can see that this is the beginning of a circular firing squad, where the purity spiral just continues to shave off people on the outside-

   12. CRChase Reeves44:45

       Mm-hmm.

   13. CWChris Williamson44:45

       ... that are no longer sufficiently oppressed-

   14. CRChase Reeves44:47

       Yeah. Yeah.

   15. CWChris Williamson44:48

       It's like, "Hang on. Oh, you're white and gay?"

   16. CRChase Reeves44:49

       Mm.

   17. CWChris Williamson44:50

       "I'm afraid that that kinda means you're not that gay anymore, friend."

   18. CRChase Reeves44:54

       Mm.

   19. CWChris Williamson44:54

       "You're, you don't get to have the same-"

   20. CRChase Reeves44:56

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson44:56

       "... oppression Olympics that we do."

   22. CRChase Reeves44:57

       Yeah. No, I, I, I've heard, uh, a few gay men, white gay men before speak of things in this direction but didn't have a term yet. But, and to the point of, of like the, the w- again, it's like the world of, the world of bloggers blogging at other bloggers about what they should blog about and they're, and, and it's ju- it's like a, a Roboro snake eating its, its own tail kind of thing, where I'm so disconnected from that world. It's not the world of like how to say, like... Uh, I, I feel we've, we've got so much, um... It's, it's interesting. Like, existential r- fear is so high in terms of like it's so hard to make money or to get to a level. We're comparing ourselves to people who are further and further and further away from where we are now. Right? We've got all of this chatter, this noise that we're, that we, we've gotta deal with. And yet we're so, not everybody, but we're so safe. There's, I, I think of, I got to go on safari in Africa, for example. And, uh, with my friend who, who like guided us literally on the ground, on foot, lions and tigers and bears, oh my. Like, you're on the ground, there's a rino- We were tracking a rhino for a long time, and then we got to this place where it was like, oh shit, it's right on the other side of that bush. We could hear it breathing. And it smelled us, and it could tell something was up. And you could hear it getting a little like irritated, like what's going on? And then when a rhino is, just starts running, and then it, and it could easily just run in this direction and just, you know, it literally just has a horn. They call a group of rhinos a crash of rhinos 'cause they can run like 60 miles an hour and see eight feet in front of them, right? (laughs)

   23. CWChris Williamson46:42

       (laughs)

   24. CRChase Reeves46:42

       They're, they're like a group, the group of rhinos is called a crash of rhinos. I love the names of, like a flamboyance of flamingos, you know? But in that space, first of all, your nervous system goes, "Oh, I remember this shit," 'cause we're talking millions and millions of years, that's what we're shaped by. "Oh, I remember this." That was clarifying, it felt grounding in a strange way. Um, teeth and horns and claws, nature red in tooth and claw. We're so far from that. Not saying that like... Louis C.K. has this amazing bit, it's like, "We should let one lion loose in New York. Just one. Just one." (laughs) So anytime you're walking anywhere it's like a little bit more of that thing. (laughs)

   25. CWChris Williamson47:29

       You're just on edge. It's a bit more exciting.

   26. CRChase Reeves47:31

       Just like, "Yeah, I made it this time." But the, the distance that we have from, from what it takes to make civilization work is I think, uh, one reason why we're able to circle jerk as intensely as we can around who, who ha- is living in injustice and who-

   27. CWChris Williamson47:55

       Which type of gay person is the one that's got the most oppression.

   28. CRChase Reeves47:58

       (laughs) That's very... Well said. (laughs)

   29. CWChris Williamson48:00

       Yeah. But I mean, the problem that you have is that only in a world that's this convenient would you be able to larp with so many different games that you're playing.

   30. CRChase Reeves48:09

       Yeah.
8. 54:11 – 1:05:29

   How to Combat Fire-Hosing

   1. CWChris Williamson54:11

      There's this really cool thing I learned about the other day called fire hosing. With, with so many competing narratives in the digital age-

   2. CRChase Reeves54:17

      Yeah.

   3. CWChris Williamson54:17

      ... disinformation agents can't convince you of any single narrative.

   4. CRChase Reeves54:21

      Mm.

   5. CWChris Williamson54:21

      So instead they overwhelm you with many contradictory narratives until you start to doubt everything and become confused, demoralized and passive.

   6. CRChase Reeves54:28

      So this idea that, like, just, like ... So how valuable is it for you to be off-kilter and have a wa- Like, it's like, now I can do something with you. If you're, if you, if you're unsure and insecure, now I can con- like, direct you in a certain way a little bit easier. It's harder to have a-... a sense of place and direction, and stick with it, right? That's why one of the things that's valuable having a career. It's like this is the industry that I'm in, and this is... You said in the car, like, becoming the best podcaster you can be. That's such a direction. It so has, like, bumpers on it at the, at the bowling alley, you know? You know, you know where you-

   7. CWChris Williamson55:07

      There are some guard rails that you can follow.

   8. CRChase Reeves55:09

      Right? And that is... That can be a thing that you get to, uh, I don't know, that you, that you, that you get to, uh... You're hiring that direction in a way that keeps you. It's like a rudder or a s- fin on a surfboard. It keeps you from going off and all-

   9. CWChris Williamson55:26

      All over the place.

   10. CRChase Reeves55:26

       ... like, where it's like, okay, you're not being a good enough socially conscious justice warrior. You're not... You don't understand enough about the hardships here, there, and other, other... everywhere.

   11. CWChris Williamson55:34

       People use, or, uh, people can supplant that with a lot of different things though.

   12. CRChase Reeves55:39

       Mm.

   13. CWChris Williamson55:39

       People can decide that the thing that they're going to pursue is going to be the most equitable campaigning, intersectional, LGBTQ+ person that they can be.

   14. CRChase Reeves55:49

       Yeah.

   15. CWChris Williamson55:50

       And that's... That becomes their status game.

   16. CRChase Reeves55:52

       Yeah.

   17. CWChris Williamson55:52

       And is it possible to say that objectively some status games are more virtuous than others? You... Uh, I don't know. I'd need, like, a philosopher friend here to, to work that one out. But, I mean, in terms of adding value, like real world, give me, tell me what is happening.

   18. CRChase Reeves56:07

       Yeah.

   19. CWChris Williamson56:08

       Maybe, maybe I'm totally wrong, right? Maybe there is a huge problem in the Black, gay, and lesbian community where they're being os- ostracized by the whites in the lesbian and gay community. I'm not sure.

   20. CRChase Reeves56:21

       Mm.

   21. CWChris Williamson56:22

       It seems to me like time could be better spent on other things, right?

   22. CRChase Reeves56:27

       On finding a partner to get fucking delicious sex with, right?

   23. CWChris Williamson56:31

       That... I mean, it's not that hard if you're in the... especially if you're one of the Gs.

   24. CRChase Reeves56:34

       (laughs)

   25. CWChris Williamson56:35

       If you're one of the Ls, it's a bit more difficult 'cause you've got... you know, you've got two gatekeepers.

   26. CRChase Reeves56:37

       I don't know. It's like it's just not, n- not where I live. It's, like, not where I'm from, you know? I just really don't know what the weather's like there.

   27. CWChris Williamson56:43

       A lot of action, a lot of action going on with the Gs.

   28. CRChase Reeves56:44

       (laughs) Okay.

   29. CWChris Williamson56:45

       A lot of action.

   30. CRChase Reeves56:46

       But I, I, I do think there's, there's like a, a spiritual practice a- and a, and a, uh, like a recommendation I'm making to people that's like be what you're, what you're in... And if what you're in is, like, who has... who's seeing the most injustice, then, then, like, let's bring, br- let that, let that be your goal. Bring more justice. Bring, bring more justice. And if that's not what your, what your gig is, I certainly do believe that there are s-... Uh, two things. One, like we talked about before, there are, there are certain constructs, like you were talking about meritocracy and, um, and losers are... Like, with, like, that word is just such a fucking... Pssh.
9. 1:05:29 – 1:11:57

   Importance of Ownership

   1. CWChris Williamson1:05:29

      and he says, um, "Karma is just you repeating your patterns, virtues and flaws until you finally get what you deserve."

   2. CRChase Reeves1:05:37

      Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   3. CWChris Williamson1:05:38

      And it just made me think about the fact that a lot of the time in life you see people that are repeatedly successful or repeatedly unsuccessful.

   4. CRChase Reeves1:05:45

      Mm.

   5. CWChris Williamson1:05:45

      And you're like, you're the common denominator between all of these experiences.

   6. CRChase Reeves1:05:49

      Right, right.

   7. CWChris Williamson1:05:49

      Is it that every one of your exes has happened to be a possessive, controlling, crazy person-

   8. CRChase Reeves1:05:55

      Mm-hmm.

   9. CWChris Williamson1:05:56

      ... or do you cause something that comes out of them? Or are you able to choose that type of person? Or are you attracted to that type of person?

   10. CRChase Reeves1:06:03

       Yeah, I think there's this really big, there's this really big insight that is- is so simple but it can real- it can change- it can change so much of the landscape of your life and it is so, it's just around taking responsibility for where you are. I find people are... I- uh, a lot of successful people I- I hear, and- and I'm one of these, like, don't want to take ownership of their own success, first of all. So, like, it's actually surprisingly easy not to take ownership of the success that you- that you've... Like, I'm terrible, I don't feel successful at all, right? And I tend to take responsibility over, like, the poor things in my life, the things that are ba- that I'm doing badly in my life, for sure. That seems to be a little bit easier. However, like, there's this mentor I worked with for a long time named Dan Tacchini, who's-... for 40 years, he's been just doing these workshops, these four-day workshops. Right now, he calls them the Revenant. They've been called a lot of other things. Four days, no substance, no psychedelic or anything. This guy is super shamanic and just a windowless hotel room, and, and you just get to encounter yourself amidst all these other people encountering themselves. And he's basically saying, keep your fucking promises. What promises have you made? Take responsibility. Own your life. Take ownership over your life. These very basic things, but structured in this exercises that you're, like, it comes through in these ins- insights, these revelations sometimes. You pop. Everybody pops. I broke in the middle of it, you know? It's like, that's what, that's what happens in these things. The pressure just builds. But that idea of taking responsibility, going like, all right, what happens to me is gonna be on me. And that- that says nothing about, like, that doesn't mean that the universe isn't here as a co-partner with you, dancing alongside of you. It just means, like, what you're in control of, you're gonna be in control of, you know? And...

   11. CWChris Williamson1:08:02

       What's the alternative?

   12. CRChase Reeves1:08:03

       That's so, it's so, what, exactly. What's the alternative?

   13. CWChris Williamson1:08:06

       What is the alternative?

   14. CRChase Reeves1:08:07

       Well, the alternative is, it's their fucking problem or it's their fucking fault or it's the, it's because of this or it's because of that or it's Mom or it's Dad. It's everything that, that actually we all get a lot of, out of these narratives, right?

   15. CWChris Williamson1:08:20

       I never have. I never have. And this is the other side, I guess, of, um, whatever the solopreneur only child syndrome thing. It's great because it means that you never have a victim mentality, but what you find is you take responsibility for things that you're not responsible for.

   16. CRChase Reeves1:08:35

       Yeah.

   17. CWChris Williamson1:08:36

       And that's pernicious in a different way. I think it's probably less destructive socially, but it's more destructive personally.

   18. CRChase Reeves1:08:42

       Mm-hmm.

   19. CWChris Williamson1:08:43

       So, you know, something goes wrong, and you find a way to make it your fault, even if it wasn't.

   20. CRChase Reeves1:08:47

       Yeah.

   21. CWChris Williamson1:08:48

       That's taking too much responsibility. I tried to ask Jordan Peterson this, and I was like, "Hey. You like people taking responsibility for their actions. Is there such a thing as taking too much responsibility?"

   22. CRChase Reeves1:08:59

       Mm-hmm.

   23. CWChris Williamson1:09:00

       Uh, I'm gonna ask Jocko Willink the same question.

   24. CRChase Reeves1:09:02

       Mm-hmm.

   25. CWChris Williamson1:09:03

       You know, extreme ownership's his thing. Like, have you considered about whether or not there's such a thing as too much ownership?

   26. CRChase Reeves1:09:08

       Mm-hmm.

   27. CWChris Williamson1:09:10

       What about if you start to scale your problems? You start to insert yourself into the problems-

   28. CRChase Reeves1:09:18

       Mm-hmm.

   29. CWChris Williamson1:09:18

       ... that aren't yours?

   30. CRChase Reeves1:09:19

       Yeah.
10. 1:11:57 – 1:12:38

    Where to Find Chase

    1. CRChase Reeves1:11:57

    2. CWChris Williamson1:11:57

       Chase Reeves, ladies and gentlemen. If people want to check out the stuff that you do online, where should they go?

    3. CRChase Reeves1:12:01

       You should go to chasereeves.co. I've got all the links to everything there. Uh, if you're interested in me, that's where you can find me. I'm on Twitter and Instagram, YouTube, and I'm making videos about backpacks for the most part. (laughs) On, I don't know how that happened.

    4. CWChris Williamson1:12:15

       Good backpacks though.

    5. CRChase Reeves1:12:17

       Great backpacks.

    6. CWChris Williamson1:12:17

       I appreciate you, man. Thank you.

    7. CRChase Reeves1:12:18

       I appreciate you. Thanks, dude.

    8. CWChris Williamson1:12:20

       What's happening, people? Thank you very much for tuning in. If you enjoyed that episode, then press here for a selection of the best clips from the podcast over the last few weeks, and don't forget to subscribe. Peace.

Episode duration: 1:12:38