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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Dating, Desire, And The Mating Crisis In A Post-MeToo World
- Chris Williamson and Alex DatePsych dissect modern dating, focusing on sexlessness, dating apps, and shifting social norms. They argue that fear of being labeled creepy, post-MeToo risk aversion, and heavy online socialization have reduced in-person approaches and casual sex, especially among young men. They examine how dating apps’ skewed gender ratios, women’s educational overachievement, and widespread pessimistic online narratives fuel incel, black-pill, and MGTOW cultures. Throughout, they emphasize that most people still pair off eventually, short‑term mating is confined to a small sociosexual minority, and contempt for the opposite sex is a major relationship killer.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasDating apps are structurally stacked against most men due to skewed ratios.
With roughly three men for every woman on major apps, even a perfectly even matching process would leave about two‑thirds of men without a match, which helps explain why a small minority of men receive most of the visible attention without implying they’re monopolizing all sex.
Fear of seeming creepy has overcorrected into social paralysis for many men.
About half of single men report avoiding approaching women for fear of being seen as creepy, even though women rarely classify a polite approach itself as creepy; viral gym/TikTok clips and post‑MeToo anxieties amplify this fear far beyond typical real‑world norms.
Most people still meet offline, but growing online mediation increases risk‑aversion.
Surveys show only 10–20% of relationships start on apps and another ~20% via social media, with the rest still coming from friends, work, and school; however, heavy online interaction allows long, low‑risk courtships and fewer impulsive, alcohol‑fuelled hookups, contributing to sexlessness.
A small, highly sociosexual minority accounts for most casual sex and STDs.
Self‑report and disease data indicate a “promiscuous ~10%” of men and women have disproportionately many partners and infections; the idea that 20% of men are sleeping with all women is not supported by the evidence, which shows most people are relatively monogamous.
Women’s rising status shrinks their acceptable partner pool without raising ‘standards’ per se.
As women outpace men in education and income, their desire for equal-or-higher‑status partners collides with a shrinking pool of such men, creating bottlenecks—especially around age 30—even if their expectations (e.g., “degree and a decent job”) are not extreme.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesEven if every man on a dating app got one woman, about 66% of men would still have no match just from the ratio alone.
— Alex DatePsych
Approaching women politely is not one of the things that women typically find creepy.
— Alex DatePsych
The problem was MeToo tried to sanitize and instead it sterilized.
— Chris Williamson
It’s not the thousand men doing one creepy thing each; it’s one man doing a thousand creepy things.
— Chris Williamson (paraphrasing David Buss’s framing)
How are you going to have a relationship with someone who you view negatively as some intrinsic part of them?
— Alex DatePsych
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
