CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 1:56
What AuDHD accommodations are (and why they’re uniquely tricky to identify)
Alex defines AuDHD as the push-pull of autism and ADHD traits that can feel contradictory—craving stimulation but getting overstimulated, wanting cleanliness but struggling to maintain it. He frames the episode as a practical list to help people advocate for themselves at work and in relationships after realizing there’s “more than ADHD” going on.
- •AuDHD as an internal tug-of-war between autistic and ADHD needs
- •Why a late autism realization can make self-advocacy confusing
- •Accommodations as tools for productivity, relationships, and work
- •Setting up the promise: 23 tips, with 3 flagged as most impactful
- 1:56 – 4:05
Reducing hygiene-related sensory overload: normalizing fewer showers
They discuss how daily showers can be overstimulating and mentally draining due to temperature, wetness, towels, and the transition back into clothing. The accommodation is permission to decouple self-worth from daily shower expectations and choose what’s actually necessary for your body and lifestyle.
- •Showers can be a sensory ‘nightmare’ (wetness, towels, cold floors)
- •Unspoken social rules create shame around not showering daily
- •Some people love showers/baths; it’s about individual sensory profiles
- •Reframing: reduce shame and choose what’s needed, not what’s ‘standard’
- 4:05 – 6:11
Avoiding automatic yeses: using a “non-answer” to buy decision time
Alex recommends responding to requests with a neutral delay (“Can I let you know tomorrow?”) instead of committing immediately. This creates space to check energy, preferences, and capacity—reducing people-pleasing and the fallout of overcommitting.
- •Non-answers as an accommodation for impulsive/masked ‘yes’ responses
- •You decide what’s urgent—don’t inherit others’ urgency
- •It’s easier to turn ‘I’ll think about it’ into yes than to retract a yes
- •Protecting energy and reducing resentment from unwanted commitments
- 6:11 – 9:18
The first “top impact” accommodation: taking a mental health day before burnout
Alex argues mental health days should be normalized as proactive regulation, not a last resort. He describes waking up dysregulated (brain fog, irritability, overwhelm) and explains that resting early can prevent longer burnout recovery later.
- •Recognizing early dysregulation and approaching burnout signs
- •Advocating for a day off to re-regulate prevents bigger crashes
- •Examples: walks, music, low-demand activities, time with safe people
- •Workplace gap: many companies don’t include mental health days as standard
- 9:18 – 12:20
Cutting decision fatigue and rush-hour overwhelm: outfit repeats + flexible start times
They cover two practical workday accommodations: repeating outfits to reduce morning decisions and requesting slightly flexible start times to avoid sensory overload from rush hour. Small time shifts can also reduce forced small talk and help start the day regulated.
- •Uniform-style dressing reduces cognitive load and overwhelm
- •Finding one comfortable outfit and rotating duplicates
- •Flexible start times to avoid packed trains/buses and overstimulation
- •Arriving off-peak can also reduce small talk and social strain
- 12:20 – 15:20
Meetings that actually include you: grace periods and written/electronic communication
Alex proposes a grace period after meetings so quieter, anxious, or processing-heavy thinkers can contribute ideas asynchronously. He also emphasizes requesting written instructions to avoid losing verbal information while masking and managing eye contact.
- •Grace period after meetings unlocks ideas ‘trapped’ by anxiety
- •Asynchronous submissions (email/Dropbox/suggestion box) level the playing field
- •Verbal instructions can evaporate under masking and eye-contact pressure
- •Written instructions reduce mistakes, shame, and missed expectations
- 15:20 – 18:05
Food predictability and emotional regulation: eating the same meals + planning shortcuts
They normalize repeating the same foods to ensure you eat consistently, especially when decision-making leads to skipped meals. The conversation also touches on texture predictability, keeping foods separate, and using meal kits to reduce planning friction.
- •Repetition can be healthier than skipping meals due to overwhelm
- •Texture/sensation predictability as a driver of ‘safe foods’
- •Preference for separating foods vs mixing (sensory boundaries)
- •Meal kits as a planning and grocery-shopping workaround
- 18:05 – 19:26
Animals as a regulation tool (and why nonverbal connection helps)
Alex describes time with animals—especially his dog—as a powerful way to downshift from overstimulation. The nonverbal, low-demand connection can bring comfort, co-regulation, and stress relief.
- •Animals provide soothing, low-pressure companionship
- •Nonverbal communication can feel safer and more intuitive
- •Cuddling/presence supports nervous system regulation
- •Reframing pets as legitimate support, not ‘just a comfort’
- 19:26 – 20:28
Sponsor break: Tiimo planning app (neurodivergent-focused scheduling)
Alex briefly advertises Tiimo as a planning tool designed for neurodivergent users, highlighting flexibility and an AI planning assistant. He notes a discount condition applies via web browser rather than the smartphone app.
- •Tiimo positioned as a neurodivergent-friendly planning partner
- •Mentions AI planning assistant and voice transcription features
- •Emphasis on gentle guidance and flexible structure
- •Discount note: applicable on web browser only
- 20:28 – 26:01
Controlling sensory input and reducing anxiety spirals: noise-canceling + context requests
Alex shares how lowering background noise dramatically improved his performance and wellbeing, reinforcing the value of noise-canceling tools. They also advocate asking for context/agenda when someone requests a “chat,” to avoid catastrophic uncertainty and ‘waiting mode.’
- •Noise reduction can unlock focus, creativity, and better results
- •Workplace example: quiet space led to major performance improvement
- •Requesting context/agenda prevents rumination and ruined weekends
- •Choosing clarity now can be better than delayed bad news plus anxiety
- 26:01 – 29:15
Self-compassion + paying for ease: ‘It makes sense I feel this way’ and convenience fees
Alex introduces a self-validating phrase to reduce shame during overwhelm, paralysis, or rejection sensitivity triggers. He pairs this with permission to spend money on convenience when it prevents larger emotional/energy costs.
- •Self-validation reduces shame and supports regulation
- •RSD and overwhelm framed as understandable, not moral failures
- •Convenience purchases (pre-cut food, meal boxes) can be an accommodation
- •Trade-off: higher financial cost may prevent burnout and emotional cost
- 29:15 – 30:13
The second “top impact” accommodation: hard conversations while moving (walk-and-talk)
Alex recommends having difficult conversations while walking rather than sitting face-to-face. Movement reduces confrontation, lowers anxiety, and can make it easier to process what’s being said without intense eye-contact pressure.
- •Walking reduces intensity and perceived confrontation
- •Movement supports focus and lowers anxiety during tough topics
- •Less forced eye contact; easier conversational flow
- •Reframing ‘proper conversations’ as compatible with movement
- 30:13 – 34:26
Micro-setup hacks for daily life: socks rack, seating choices, and photo reminders
They share practical environmental tweaks: keeping socks/underwear accessible, sitting side-by-side rather than opposite to reduce eye-contact demands, and photographing car/locker locations to prevent stressful searches. These small systems reduce friction and prevent avoidable dysregulation.
- •‘Socks and pants rack’ reduces steps and morning effort
- •Standardizing socks (e.g., all white) simplifies matching
- •Sit shoulder-to-shoulder to reduce eye-contact and confrontation
- •Take photos of locker/car locations to avoid time-wasting panic
- 34:26 – 40:35
Leaning into sameness: repeat places, music transitions, and ditching irritating jewellery
Alex normalizes returning to the same cafés/restaurants and rewatching/listening to familiar favorites to avoid overstimulation from novelty. He also recommends using music as a dopamine bridge between tasks and validating sensory discomfort with jewellery, watches, fabrics, and even glasses.
- •No shame in repeating venues, menus, films, and songs
- •Novelty can be overstimulating; familiarity can be regulating
- •Music as a transition tool to move from one task to the next
- •Permission to avoid jewellery/irritating textures that drain focus
- 40:35 – 44:59
Body doubling, unmasking clues, and the #1 regulation reset: step away when overstimulated
The final section covers body doubling as an accountability and motivation scaffold, then pivots to self-awareness by observing what you do when alone (who you are without judgment). Alex’s top accommodation is recognizing overstimulation (often mistaken for anxiety) and privately resetting—bathroom break, breathing, movement, or crying—before rejoining the situation.
- •Body doubling: proximity (in-person/virtual) boosts initiation and follow-through
- •Self-knowledge: your solo habits reveal authentic preferences after masking
- •Top tip: reinterpret public ‘anxiety’ as overstimulation and intervene early
- •Private reset strategies: step away, breathe, shake hands, jump, or cry, then return regulated
