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ADHD Chatter PodcastNo.1 ADHD Psychologist Shares 2 Proven Ways to STOP Overthinking + People Pleasing - Dr Mark Rackley
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WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Psychologist Explains ADHD Shame, Overthinking, Sleep, Perfectionism, and Setting Boundaries Against People Pleasing
- Dr. Rackley explains that repressed emotion and shame, combined with rejection sensitivity, can cause physical symptoms and make people with ADHD reluctant to open up or take social risks.
- He describes how emotional dysregulation can be big outbursts, shutting down, or an inability to stop a good time, and says girls tend to internalize while boys tend to externalize during school years.
- For overthinking, he recommends managing rather than controlling it by checking the context and evidence, then using distraction, and for sleep he suggests a calm device-free hour, a comforting bedroom, and white noise.
- He frames perfectionism as fear of failure that triggers avoidance, and people pleasing as a loss of agency that can be countered with assertiveness, saying no, and finding your tribe.
- He says late diagnosis often brings anger and sadness that are valid but need healthy outlets, and that schools without embedded neurodiversity support can leave children feeling broken.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasRepressed emotion shows up in the body
Dr. Rackley says emotion is meant to be processed, and when held in it can emerge as migraines, skin problems, or gut issues without an organic cause.
Rejection sensitivity drives overcompensation
He describes RSD as a chronic sense of being different in a negative way, leading people either to be very careful or to work hard to make everyone love them.
Manage overthinking by checking for evidence
He advises looking at the context of the thought, noticing when there is no evidence behind a story such as replaying a party, and then using a distraction technique, which suits the ADHD brain.
Intrusive thoughts need an active response
He says they are normal and come from the unconscious mind, so the aim is not to give them attention through mindfulness, distraction, or talking to someone, and to remember that thinking something doesn't make it real.
Perfectionism is fear of failure, not a strength
He explains fear triggers flight, meaning avoidance, so people who care too much may avoid exams or tasks, and he says perfectionism curtails abilities rather than enhancing them.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesIf people don't like you, that doesn't mean you're unlikable.
— Dr. Mark Rackley
Repressed emotion, um, like, that essentially will poison your body because emotion is not meant to be repressed. It's meant to be processed.
— Dr. Mark Rackley
This person isn't dropping out of school or that they don't care. They care too much. And they care so much, they trigger fear that they're not going to achieve, and they're going to fail.
— Dr. Mark Rackley
Saying no is really important because saying no creates a healthy boundary
— Dr. Mark Rackley
just because we think something doesn't mean it's real.
— Dr. Mark Rackley
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SPEAKERS
Dr. Mark Rackley
guestPsychologist and ADHD clinician who discusses assessment/diagnosis pathways and therapeutic work with patients.
Alex Partridge
hostPodcast host of ADHD Chatter who introduces the guest, runs audience segments, and leads the interview.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
