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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

Someday Is Today: Achieve Your Goals And Live Without Regret - Matthew Dicks

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Matthew DicksguestAli Abdaalhost

Apr 20, 20231h 42mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Regret as a catalyst: the gun-to-the-head moment
Matthew Dicks opens with the moment he believed he was about to die during a robbery, and how the overwhelming emotion he felt was regret rather than fear. That experience becomes a recurring reference point for why he cares so much about using time intentionally.
- •He describes being held at gunpoint and hearing a countdown to being shot
- •He says regret—not fear, sadness, or anger—was the dominant feeling
- •He frames the experience as realizing he hadn’t done what he wanted with his life
- •He hints that this moment shaped his later approach to time and goals
From stage storytelling to life navigation: how Matthew’s work evolved
Ali introduces Matthew’s unusual set of roles, and Matthew explains how a whim storytelling competition turned into a wide consulting practice. He describes how many sessions labeled “storytelling” become leadership and life problem-solving conversations.
- •Ali introduces Matthew as an author, teacher, wedding DJ, and more
- •Matthew recounts winning a storytelling competition and discovering a new path
- •He describes now working with many kinds of clients, including corporate leaders
- •He notes that he often ends up helping with workplace dynamics and decision-making beyond storytelling
The confidence trap: spotlight effect and wasted minutes
Matthew identifies confidence and self-doubt as a common struggle among clients, especially the belief that others are constantly judging us. He argues that releasing this concern frees both mental bandwidth and time for more meaningful pursuits.
- •He names confidence and self-doubt as pervasive challenges
- •He discusses the spotlight effect and ruminating over small social missteps
- •He argues most people pay far less attention to us than we imagine
- •He links image-maintenance behaviors to wasted time and reduced productivity
Stopping the worry in practice: thought experiments and ‘test’ behaviors
Matthew shares concrete ways he coaches people to care less about others’ opinions, including memory-based reframes and small experiments. Ali raises how this advice can feel different for women in professional settings, prompting Matthew to address privilege and performance.
- •Matthew uses a holiday-party recall exercise to show how little we remember about others’ appearance
- •He suggests low-stakes experiments like going grocery shopping in pajamas to see what actually happens
- •Ali raises concerns about appearance expectations for women in corporate environments
- •Matthew acknowledges his advantages and argues performance ultimately matters most
Process over results: setting goals you can control (and embracing failure)
Matthew explains why he focuses on process-based goals rather than outcomes dependent on other people. He also describes why he aims for incomplete goal achievement as a sign he’s stretching himself.
- •He explains why outcome goals like ‘publish a book’ can be outside one’s control
- •He reframes goals as actions you can complete and release to the world
- •He shares his long-term goal completion average and says he likes missing some goals
- •He frames failure as evidence of ambition rather than a signal to retreat
Matthew’s annual goal system: December review, public accountability, and midyear reset
Matthew outlines a yearly cycle: review last year’s goals, collect new ones (including suggestions from others), publish the list, and reassess midway through the year. He shares examples and how he organizes goals into categories.
- •He begins planning in December by evaluating which goals to keep, drop, or complete
- •He publicly asks readers for goal suggestions and incorporates feedback
- •He publishes goals at the start of the year and reviews them midyear
- •He groups goals into categories like writing, performance, personal, and organizational
Dream-oriented productivity and ‘horizon goals’
Matthew argues productivity should serve dreams—not just work—and introduces ‘horizon goals’ as flexible, meaningful directions rather than rigid endpoints. He and Ali discuss how horizon goals can guide action while leaving room for unexpected paths.
- •He says many people rarely reflect on what they personally want
- •He defines productivity as maximizing life so there’s more time for what matters to you
- •He introduces horizon goals as broad targets that don’t over-specify the destination
- •He gives examples of dreams that still count as ‘productive’ when they matter to the person
Taking the next step: flexibility, experimentation, and avoiding overplanning
Ali brings a personal horizon goal around music, and Matthew uses it to show how specificity can become limiting. They emphasize exploration and action over endlessly plotting the perfect path.
- •Matthew warns against locking a dream into a single narrow outcome
- •He encourages stepping forward without needing the full plan
- •He shares an example of his wife shifting from guitar to ukulele and finding a better fit
- •Ali reinforces the idea of focusing on the next step rather than distant complexities
Incrementalism: small actions that compound into big change
Matthew advocates for incremental progress and critiques the desire for instant results. Ali connects this to his own YouTube journey, noting how small prior skills made later progress easier.
- •Matthew argues people want quick wins, but success usually comes from compounding steps
- •He gives an example of practicing balance while brushing teeth as a small daily habit
- •Ali describes how early, sporadic music videos taught skills that later enabled his channel
- •Matthew shares how prior life experiences quietly built capabilities for later storytelling success
Striving vs enjoying the present: the ‘100-year-old’ perspective and regret
Matthew explains why pursuing the next thing is joyful for him and challenges the idea that comfort and stagnation are harmless. He argues many forms of passive consumption are forgettable and urges people to think about how they’ll view their choices near the end of life.
- •He describes a conversation with his wife about enjoying accomplishments vs chasing the next project
- •He introduces the ‘100-year-old version of you’ as a filter for decisions
- •He distinguishes purposeful leisure (shared experiences and meaningful goals) from default scrolling or habitual watching
- •He cites a deathbed sentiment he learned—‘so much wasted time’—to underscore his point
Ten minutes is precious: writing in small windows and rejecting ‘perfect conditions’
Prompted by Ali, Matthew tells a story about meeting a writer who was late and how he used those minutes to write. He argues creators overestimate how ideal their conditions must be and underuse short pockets of time.
- •He recounts meeting a writer at McDonald’s and using her lateness to produce new writing
- •He challenges the belief that creative work requires long, quiet, perfect blocks
- •He emphasizes that short sessions can still produce real progress (sentences, revisions, notes)
- •Ali connects this to how he used small gaps during medical work to draft YouTube ideas
Why breaking rules saves time: testing which rules actually matter
Matthew lays out his skepticism about rules, saying many are arbitrary and poorly enforced. He encourages testing boundaries to discover what truly has consequences, framing it as a way to reclaim time from needless bureaucracy.
- •He reframes ‘getting in trouble’ as often just receiving routine feedback
- •He shares examples like writing ‘upright’ as his ‘position’ on forms without consequences
- •He describes inventing parking spots and accepting the worst-case outcome of being asked to move
- •He argues excessive rule-following and bureaucracy consume time that could be used for meaningful goals
Near-death and high-stakes experiences: robbery aftermath, bee sting, car crash, and PTSD
Matthew returns to the robbery in detail and then describes two earlier incidents where he medically died and was revived—yet didn’t feel the same perspective shift because he didn’t know he was dying. He explains how trauma shaped him and how he tries to extract the lesson without wishing the experience on others.
- •He narrates the McDonald’s robbery: the deposit box, the beating, and the empty-gun trigger pulls
- •He discusses living with PTSD and how therapy and his wife’s support helped him cope
- •He describes being revived after a severe allergic reaction at age 12
- •He recounts a head-on collision at 17 and being revived again, contrasting those with the regret-filled robbery experience
From homelessness and wrongful arrest to relentless forward momentum
Matthew describes being homeless, jailed for a crime he says he didn’t commit, and then rebuilding his life through intense work and schooling once he was found not guilty. He explains how hope and the absence of a safety net fueled his drive to maximize time and opportunity.
- •He explains losing his job and housing after being arrested and released
- •He describes being taken in by acquaintances and sharing a small room with an indoor goat
- •He recounts working extreme hours while addressing legal trouble and later being found not guilty
- •He describes going to college, joining activities, earning scholarships, and exploiting a consortium ‘loophole’ to complete teaching and English studies simultaneously
Closing reflections: you’re not ‘special,’ just moving forward (and where to find Matthew)
Matthew stresses that he doesn’t see himself as uniquely gifted, but as someone who believes others can do similar things if they apply themselves. He and Ali close by discussing reclaiming time (sleep and downtime), and Ali wraps with where listeners can find Matthew’s work.
- •Matthew says his core belief is that most people can do what he does if they apply themselves
- •Ali shares a scenario of someone wanting big changes while protecting large ‘wind-down’ blocks
- •Matthew suggests testing reductions and analyzing habits rather than treating them as fixed rules
- •They end with where to learn more, including Matthew’s website

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