The Science Behind Why Relationships Last Or Fail - Drs John & Julie Gottman

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

February 16, 2023

Duration

1h 29m

Channel

Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

Watch on YouTube

▶ Open ↗

📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

[Free 3-hour course] Turn your expertise into a $100k/year income stream → https://go.lifestylebusiness.com/lbafound Subscribe to LifeNotes 👉 https://go.aliabdaal.com/lifenotes_deepdive Sponsored by Huel - go to https://www.huel.com/deepdive and with your first order you’ll get a free t-shirt and shaker. Sponsored by Trading 212 - To get free fractional shares worth up to 100 EUR/GBP, you can open an account with Trading 212 through this link https://trading212.com/promocodes/ALI. Terms apply. This is not financial advice. When investing, your capital is at risk and you may get back less than invested. Past performance doesn’t guarantee future results. Sponsored by Brilliant - visit https://brilliant.org/DeepDive/ and the first 200 of you will get 20% off Brilliant's annual premium subscription. Sponsored by WeWork - visit https://www.we.co/ali and use the code ‘ALI’ at checkout to redeem 50% off your first booking. 📚 Check Out My New York Times Bestselling Book Feel-Good Productivity! 👉 https://go.feelgoodproductivity.com/podcast 📧 Sign up for LifeNotes - my weekly newsletter where I share actionable productivity tips, practical life advice, and high-quality insights from across the web directly to your inbox. 👉https://go.aliabdaal.com/lifenotes/podcast Season 5 Episode 4 For over 40 years Drs. John and Julie Gottman have devoted their life to the research and practice of fostering healthy, long-lasting relationships. Through studying thousands of couples, publishing over 200 academic articles, more than 40 books on the topic and co-founding the Gottman’s Institute, John and Julie have created interventions to change the way that couples relate to each other to help people succeed in the future of their relationships. In the conversation, John and Julie give me a masterclass in everything there is to know about building long lasting relationships, we cover the four key reasons why relationships fail, communication strategies, rituals to cultivate deeper connection and their latest book The Seven Day Love Prescription which distills their work into a seven-day action plan for deeper intimacy. Enjoy :) 00:00 Intro 02:06 Why do we need research about love and relationships? 04:37 Research methodology for analysing couples 06:42 What are the things that predict a relationship will be happy? 07:52 The 4 reasons why relationships fail 16:04 Strategies to overcome anger 18:35 What can people do to overcome conflict in relationships 24:30 Why logic vs emotion is a false dichotomy 33:10 Common mistakes men make in relationships 38:12 Your research into LGBTQ+ relationships 40:18 The biggest difference between men and women in relationships 43:40 Decision making in relationships 48:01 Rituals of connection 51:01 Relationship reviews 56:35 What is the function of marriage? 01:07:31 Is there an ideal age gap? 01:10:44 Relationships therapy and pre-commitment counselling 01:14:12 The love prescription formula 01:26:06 Book writing 🔗 CONNECT WITH JOHN & JULIE 📕 The Seven Day Love Prescription - https://geni.us/2p6rV0C 📱 The Gottman Card Decks App - https://www.gottman.com/couples/apps/ 💻 Website - https://www.gottman.com/ 🐦 Twitter - https://twitter.com/gottmaninst 📸 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gottmaninstitute/ 🎥 YouTube Channel - @TheGottmanInstitute 🔗 CONNECT WITH ALI 🎥 YouTube Channel - @aliabdaal 🐦 Twitter - https://twitter.com/aliabdaal 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/aliabdaal 💻 Website - https://aliabdaal.com 👥 Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ali-abdaal/ 📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED A Two Factor Method For Predicting When A Couple Will Divorve - Dr John Gottman and Prof Robert Levinson - https://bit.ly/3XzR7Oy The Man's Guide To Women by Drs John & Julie Gottman - https://geni.us/lPHQxS Processing A Regrettable Incident Booklet - https://bit.ly/3xnEcnY How To not die alone by Logan Ury - https://geni.us/el85 The Eight Conversations That Matter Most In Relationships - https://bit.ly/2EkBWlG Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski - https://geni.us/A2PU 📄SHOW NOTES & TRANSCRIPT Visit the website for the transcript and highlights from the conversation - https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/ 🎙 ABOUT THE PODCAST Deep Dive is the podcast that delves into the minds of entrepreneurs, creators and other inspiring people to uncover the philosophies, strategies and tools that help us live happier, healthier and more productive lives. Want to start your own podcast? We use Transistor! https://go.aliabdaal.com/transistor 🎧 LISTEN FOR FREE Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast... Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7gZkflC... RSS - https://feeds.transistor.fm/deep-dive 👋🏼 GET IN TOUCH You can also Tweet @AliAbdaal with any feedback, ideas or thoughts about the lessons you've learnt from the episodes and we can thank you personally for tuning in 🙏 PS: Some of the links in this description are affiliate links that I get a kickback from 😜

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Dr. Julie Gottman

  guest

  Clinical psychologist and relationship expert, co-founder of The Gottman Institute.

• Ali Abdaal

  host

  Doctor-turned creator and interviewer, host of the podcast Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal.

• Dr. John Gottman

  guest

  Psychologist and relationship researcher known for long-running studies of couples and co-founder of The Gottman Institute.

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal, featuring Dr. Julie Gottman and Ali Abdaal, The Science Behind Why Relationships Last Or Fail - Drs John & Julie Gottman explores Gottmans’ research-based tools to predict and strengthen lasting relationships John and Julie Gottman describe how decades of lab-based observation and physiological measurement of couples’ interactions informed interventions aimed at improving relationship outcomes.

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