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Best Place To Build

Sriram Kalyanaraman| "What job would you do if you were not paid any money to do it?"| Ep. 21

In this episode of the Best Place to Build podcast, host Amrutash Misra sits down with Sriram Kalyanaraman, an IIT Madras alum whose journey has been anything but conventional.

Sriram KalyanaramanguestAmrutash Misrahost

Apr 18, 20251h 11mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Why Sriram is a “builder”: expanding the meaning beyond startups
The host frames the podcast’s broader definition of “building” as building resilience, mindset, and inner strength—not just companies or technology. Sriram questions why he was invited, setting up the episode’s focus on personal transformation as a legitimate form of building.
- •Podcast premise: IIT Madras as a place to build, broadly defined
- •Sriram’s initial assumption: “build” equals entrepreneurship
- •Host reframes building as self-development and inner capacity
- •Sets context for Sriram’s current work in transformation
Contrarian career choices: repeatedly rejecting the ‘expected path’
The conversation turns to how Sriram repeatedly made high-risk, unconventional decisions despite elite academic and career stepping stones. He explains these weren’t random pivots but a gradual alignment toward work that felt deeply “calling” from within.
- •Expectation tracks at IIT/McKinsey/Harvard vs his divergent choices
- •Early ambition script: US master’s → MBA → CEO by 35
- •Contrarian decisions as experiments to discover real fit
- •Long-term pull toward inner development work
What he does today: inner healing + inner transformation
Sriram defines his work as helping people find their true self and full potential while removing internal and interpersonal blockers. He introduces “healing” as repairing old psychological fractures and “transformation” as evolving beyond them.
- •Core work: identify what blocks dreams and growth
- •Common blockers: stress, anxiety, indecision, self-doubt
- •Interpersonal blockers: triggers, leadership and motivation challenges
- •Healing metaphor: psychological wounds can become whole again
Making bold choices: inward attention and a supportive ecosystem
Sriram outlines two enablers of courageous decisions: turning attention inward to what energizes you, and having people who grant you space to explore. He shares a defining question—what you’d do even without pay—as a compass for purpose.
- •Shift from external milestones to internal joy and energy
- •Guiding question: “What would you do if you weren’t paid?”
- •Family support as a key stabilizer for exploration
- •Permission and space reduce fear in contrarian choices
Student stress today: pressure of rank, pressure of pay, and loneliness
They unpack the modern student experience as a two-stage pressure cycle: competitive exam ranks followed by salary comparisons. Sriram connects this to depression/anxiety statistics and highlights how campus life can feel isolating despite being surrounded by peers.
- •Twofold pressure: JEE rank → campus placement pay
- •Well-intentioned parental expectations still create overwhelm
- •Harvard mental health task force stats cited (depression/anxiety)
- •Loneliness amplifies pressure; students feel they suffer alone
Why the Happiness, Habits and Success (HHS) course exists
Sriram explains the course’s purpose: teach a practical foundation for happiness and success through habits that support both wellbeing and performance. The intent is to show students that high achievement can be joyful and supported by community.
- •Course goal: happiness + productivity, not trade-offs
- •Habit-building as the bridge between wellbeing and performance
- •Research examples: positivity correlates with better outcomes
- •Peer support network as part of the intervention
How the course works: scale, credits, and experiential learning design
The mechanics are laid out: a semester-long, credit-bearing course delivered in parallel batches by a large facilitator bench. Instead of theory-heavy instruction, students do in-class and at-home practices to directly experience behavior change.
- •Semester-long; credit system shifted (3-credit → 9-credit equivalent)
- •6–10 batches in parallel; ~600 students per semester
- •~20–25+ facilitators, many alumni; partially alumni-funded
- •Experiential learning emphasis over purely conceptual teaching
Signature exercises: workout class and gratitude conversations at home
Sriram shares concrete examples of course activities that “make the lesson real.” Exercise is taught by actually exercising together, and gratitude is taught by interviewing parents/grandparents—often creating emotional breakthroughs for students.
- •Exercise module: students run/stretch, then reflect on how they feel
- •Neuroscience-backed explanation follows lived experience
- •Gratitude module: talk to parents/grandparents about their journeys
- •Counters scarcity mindset created by rank/pay pressure
Soft skills at IITM: PPD minor, Life Skills, and structured interventions
The conversation widens to IIT Madras’s broader ecosystem of personal development offerings. Sriram argues structured support is increasingly necessary because organic social learning has weakened in the phone-first era.
- •PPD (Personal & Professional Development) minor and course bouquet
- •Mandatory Life Skills course for incoming students
- •Work-readiness gap is often soft-skill gap (teamwork, feedback, etc.)
- •Phones reduce deep peer interaction; structure becomes essential
Whose job is it to develop humans? Campus vs workplace responsibility
They debate whether soft skills should be “picked up naturally” and why that assumption fails today. Sriram adds that parents often assume a good college/job transfers responsibility to the system, but workplaces rarely nurture whole-person development.
- •Old model: soft skills develop naturally in residential campuses
- •New reality: attention fragmented; fewer deep conversations
- •Parents’ implicit handoff: college/job will ‘take care’ of the child
- •Workplaces can choose to become learning environments, even if transactional
How HHS started: Dean Shiva’s insight, alumni collaboration, and research roots
Sriram narrates the origin story: Dean (Students) Prof. Shivakumar noticed rising loneliness and asked for solutions, connecting with meditation workshops on campus. Alumni then designed the course using positive psychology research and habit-based neuroscience ideas.
- •Inciting need identified by Prof. Shivakumar (“Anbudan Shiva”)
- •Prashant Vasu’s meditation workshops seeded the idea
- •Early design team included alumni and young consultants
- •Influences: Martin Seligman, Shawn Achor, neuroplasticity + habit rewiring
Scaling the community: alumni facilitators, diverse expertise, and joy of teaching
What began as a 25-student pilot evolved into a large program with a broad facilitator bench, including psychology/coaching/neuroscience backgrounds. Sriram emphasizes teaching the course is deeply fulfilling for alumni, and the long-term goal is reaching every student.
- •Pilot: 25 students → now ~600/semester
- •Open, inclusive alumni-led development model
- •Facilitator pool expanded beyond engineers to mental health/behavior experts
- •Teaching as a recurring top source of meaning and joy
Habit formation pitfalls, grading choices, and how impact is measured
They address a common failure mode: people treat habits like perfection contests, then collapse when they miss days. Sriram explains the course grading avoids relative competition, and he shares the pre/post measurement approach showing meaningful stress reduction and wellbeing gains.
- •Habit trap: “If I miss a week, I’ve failed” mindset
- •Consistency reframed as “showing up,” not 100% perfection
- •Course has grades but avoids relative grading pressure
- •Impact evaluation via PSS and MHWB instruments; ~20–30% wellbeing improvement
Kindness vs competitiveness—and moving from scarcity to abundance
The discussion tackles a widespread belief that empathy, appreciation, and happiness reduce drive and edge. Sriram reframes beliefs as choices and connects the shift to India’s broader transition from scarcity mindset toward abundance and giving, including philanthropy examples.
- •Cultural script: kindness/empathy = weakness; happiness = complacency
- •Leaders struggle to appreciate because they’re wired for “what’s next”
- •Beliefs are selectable; choose those that enable success + satisfaction
- •India’s evolving abundance mindset; giving reinforces awareness of what we have
Sriram’s full journey: CS at IIT → McKinsey → Pratham → Harvard → leadership development
Sriram walks through the major pivots that shaped his path from technical training to people-centric work. He shares the internal motivations behind each shift—searching for meaning, societal impact, and a better personal fit than conventional prestige tracks.
- •CS choice influenced by brother; realized CS wasn’t his natural flow
- •McKinsey felt exciting initially but later lacked fulfillment
- •Quit to join Pratham for education impact; learned courage from role models
- •Harvard Kennedy School for economics/public policy; returned to McKinsey leadership institute
Meditation via Headspace: the hard reality of building inner habits
A personal story illustrates how difficult inner practice can be even for high performers. Sriram describes discovering Headspace in 2011 and how it took him a full year to complete a 10-day beginner program—reinforcing patience and compassion in habit-building.
- •Googled: “how to find more space in my mind?” → found Headspace
- •Andy Puddicombe’s origin story and early Headspace programs
- •Expectation vs reality: one year to complete “Take Ten”
- •Lesson: progress is slow; return to beginnings when self-doubt appears
What IIT really gave him: logic, empathy, community—and lifelong learning from family
Sriram clarifies he doesn’t use CS directly, but he uses IIT’s logical thinking to explain a “logic of transformation,” plus empathy for human struggle and the power of community. The episode closes with reflections on seeking help and his father’s reinvention as proof of lifelong learning.
- •Logic as a tool to understand psychology and transformation processes
- •Empathy for how people gamify life and turn joy into a treadmill
- •Growth needs mirrors: coaches, family, peers; nobody is truly self-made
- •Father’s story: banker → law degree at 56 → High Court advocate; learning never ends

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