By playing, you agree to uListen's Terms and Privacy Policy and YouTube's Terms of Service.
The Calum Johnson ShowLex P: I Had $3 To My Name! My Ex HATED Pour Minds But I Built A Media Empire Anyway!
Summaries, chapters, transcripts, and FAQs on this page are made by uListen, not YouTube.
Transcript
80 min read · 15,826 words- 0:00 – 8:01
Intro
- LPLex P
I literally had $3 left. I'm living with my sister. She's only making me pay her, like, $200 a month, and I'll be late on that. But I also decided, "Okay, girl, you gotta pick yourself up and do something." People, like, pray for God to change their life. He's gonna listen to your prayers, but you also have to put work behind that prayer.
- CJCalum Johnson
Your boyfriend at the time-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... said that you shouldn't go to Atlanta.
- LPLex P
"Drea is talking about moving to Atlanta and, like, getting in the media." I was like, "I think I kinda wanna do that." He looked at me in my eyes and he laughed, and he was like, "There ain't no money in that." I went back to the room and I didn't show him, but I, I cried. I sat in that room and I cried.
- CJCalum Johnson
Would you say it lit a fire under you?
- LPLex P
Uh, so I shaved my head, packed my car up, went to Atlanta. So I had hair like yours.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
They thought I was Calum. Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
I heard you say, you said, "My mom passing away humanized her for me."
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
It's like, go, your mom was human.
- LPLex P
Sorry, I don't wanna get emotional. I think a lot of times we all do this. We look at our moms, like, especially a lot of single Black moms, um, like they're Superwoman, you know? They can handle everything, and I always looked at my mom like that, like...
- CJCalum Johnson
Okay, so today's guest is Lex P, and before we get into the episode, I had to come on here and give you guys the context, because this conversation is such an emotional rollercoaster. And so let me start by saying this, because Lex and her cohost, Drea, are blowing up at the moment. She has her own show on BET. She's in the middle of a 13-city tour across America. She has one of the biggest podcasts out. She was just on Shannon Sharpe's podcast. But behind the success and the numbers and the fans and the audience is this incredible story of someone that, from an early point in their life, believed in themselves, their talent, her humor. She's hilarious, by the way. And took that really from, like, rock bottom to the point where she had $3 left in her bank account when she moved to Atlanta. Her ex-boyfriend laughed at her when she said that she was gonna do a podcast. So she takes the pain of those experiences and manages to build what she's built today. And so what you're about to hear is really a story of faith. It's an inspirational story. So I'm just gonna let you guys hear this conversation. But one thing I'll let you know is that once we finished filming, I had to take a seat, and I had to call my mom just to tell her how much I appreciated her. And I think if you listen to the end, you'll understand why. Anyway, you're listening to The Calum Johnson Show with Lex P. Let's get into it. Something that your best friend and cohost-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... Drea said on, like, a recent episode of Poor Minds that you guys did. I just wanted to give it back to you.
- LPLex P
Okay.
- CJCalum Johnson
She said, "We were two young Black women from Texas that just came to Atlanta with $3 and a dream."
- LPLex P
[laughs]
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs] "No blueprint, no plan, no nothing. We really came out here just winging it and chased our dreams, and we made shit happen, and now it's a full-blown business." Given how you started and where you came from, is that a surreal feeling for you?
- LPLex P
Um, honestly, it's kinda like... Yeah, it really is. Um, I'm from a very small town. Like, we always just say we're both from Houston just because I lived in Houston for 10 years, but I'm from Orange, Texas. Very small town, and I've always been, like, a really big dreamer. So it's kinda like I always knew I was different, so it is still surreal, but it's kinda like I finally made it. Like, I knew I was always entertaining. Y'all just had to catch on.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. I, I, I know when, when you and I spoke, you mentioned, uh, like, wanting to be a singer even when you-
- LPLex P
Oh, yes
- CJCalum Johnson
... when you were younger.
- LPLex P
I thought I could hold a note, baby.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
You could not tell me I was not finna be, like, the next Beyoncé. I was like, when they kicked Farrah out the group, I was like, "I'm next. When's the audition?"
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
Like, "I'm ready to go." Um, but I was just... I enjoyed being in front of people and performing. Like, I was the kid where my mom was like, "Watch, watch her. Watch what she can do." I used to perform Tyrone by Erykah Badu-
- CJCalum Johnson
Oh, yeah
- 8:01 – 13:26
"You're pretty for a black girl"
- LPLex P
it."
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know what, you, you had that, um, it sounds like you had that like, that love and that support in your home.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
Um, but I've heard you talk about also, and you mentioned, like you went to like an all white-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... school.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
And so one thing I heard you say, you said, "I grew up and I went to an all white school, so I always dealt with that growing up of being like, 'Oh, you're pretty for a Black girl.'"
- LPLex P
Yes.
- CJCalum Johnson
"And you're so smart for a Black girl."
- LPLex P
Uh-huh.
- CJCalum Johnson
"And I didn't realize how much it affected me until I became an adult and I moved to Houston."
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
That last part, "I didn't realize how much it affected me-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... until I became an adult and moved to Houston."
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
Talk me through, first of all, just that experience and what effect that had on you, on you at the time, but then also that realization that it only really became clear when you were an adult.
- LPLex P
Right.
- CJCalum Johnson
Like, what was that?
- LPLex P
Um, I think for me, um, I was always kinda like a tomboy growing up, so um, I never really looked at myself like, oh, being like a pretty girl 'cause I was like, "I'm a boy. I'm going outside to play football." You know what I'm saying? Um, but being a tomboy then you know, you grow up and you start being a little more, you know, feminine, girly, whatever the situation may be. But I was never like the one that, my sister was like the one that could dress nice, always did her makeup, did her hair. So my sister was alwa- every time we would go somewhere it was like, "Oh my gosh Jasmine, you're so pretty. You're so pretty. Oh, here come, here come the little one. She's so silly, she's so crazy." So I would always be like, let me just lean into that. And then whenever you, you know, you turn 16, I mean my mom would always tell me I was beautiful, but when you don't necessarily hear that from your peers and then you do start hearing it, but it's like, "Oh, you're pretty for a Black girl. Oh my gosh, you're like the prettiest Black girl I've ever met." Like, "Oh, you're not like other Black girls." So in my head I'm like, okay, this is a compliment 'cause you don't really n- I don't wanna say know any better, but I'm a child, I'm not very educated on it. It's really a backhanded compliment, right?
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm-hmm.
- LPLex P
You know? And so growing up I was never like leaning into my looks or I never had the confidence in my looks. I was always like, well, I'm funny. I'm here to make the people laugh. Like, I had, my high school superlative was class clown. Always just leaned on my personality, but when I moved to Houston, you know, things changed for me a bit. I'm in the city now and, you know, I learned to, you know, dress a little better, do my makeup, do my hair, and then that's where the confidence came from honestly because I'm around my own people and it wasn't like, "Oh, you're beautiful for this, you're b-" It's just, "You're a beautiful girl. You're stunning." Like, "Why don't you, what? What are you talking about?" And I'd be like, "I don't, I'm not doing that. I'm not." They're like, "Why? You're gorgeous. You should try modeling. You should take more pictures. You should do that." And I'm like, "You know what? I am." And then I look back on it and I'm like, this is a product of my environment because they weren't around many Black women. They don't watch the Black movies, so we weren't looking at all these gorgeous Black women from around the world and things like that. So I think just growing up in the environment that I did, it made me lean on my personality, which isn't a bad thing, but it made my looks and, and me feeling just confident in myself as a whole. It was just weird for me because I felt like I was too white for the Black girls, but I was kinda like too Black for the white people to like 'cause I'm still a Black girl. So I never knew where I fit in at. But, um, when I went to the city it was like all types of, you know, we're not a monolith, right? Like, there's so many types of Black people in the world, and it sounds so crazy but I was so sheltered growing up. But moving to Houston I was like, oh, I can be myself. Like, there's people who understand that, yes, I listen to a little Britney Spears and a little Reba McEntire, but I'ma also turn on this Gucci Mane.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
You know what I'm saying? So moving to Houston, it changed my life and I was like, I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Like, I didn't feel like I stuck out like a sore thumb, you know?
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. I actually think it's a, it's a very relatable, um, experience. Like, I had a similar experience growing up.
- 13:26 – 21:45
The real reason I use humor so much
- CJCalum Johnson
Like, every conversation you're in, it comes out pretty quickly.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
And so I'm curious of the origin of that, of, like, telling jokes-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... and being funny. You even mentioned, uh, you were, like, the class clown.
- LPLex P
Yes.
- CJCalum Johnson
Like, that was your identity. Where, where does your humor come from?
- LPLex P
You know, it's crazy 'cause I've never really talked about this. Not really, I haven't talked about it at all, but, like, I had a great childhood, right? But it's always been, like, a lot of death in my family. Like, when I, I just remember coming out of... And, you know your first memories as a child. My first memory of a child is, like, one of the memories of my mom, like, trying to explain to me, like, "Okay, you have a father, but he's passed away." Like, I never remember my dad. So it was a little bit embarrassing for me as, like, a young child and people be asking, like, "Oh, where's your dad?" And I didn't really understand what death was, so it was just like I would make up jokes about it and, you know, learn to, like, laugh at it and make it lighthearted. People asking about my grandparents, I didn't know my grandparents. My grandparents on my mother's side had passed, and at this point, I wasn't really close to my dad's side of the family yet. Um, so I didn't have grandparents. So it's like, I was introduced to death in my family at a very young age. But in order for me to make myself comfortable about it, because I would hate when I would tell somebody, "Oh, my dad's dead," they would be like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." And I'd be like, "I didn't know that man."
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm-hmm.
- LPLex P
So I would just learn to crack jokes about it-
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm
- LPLex P
... at a young age. So I think that's how I started coping with it, because later on in my life, like, my aunt that I was really close to, one of, my great aunt, she passed away. So for me, it was just like everybody's sad. I'm like, "How can I make everybody feel better? What do I usually do? I get in front of them and I start singing Tyrone like I always do." You know what I'm saying? So I've just learned to use my humor as, like, a coping mechanism 'cause I feel like not only does it make people comfortable, and when people are uncomfortable, just make them laugh to relax everybody. 'Cause, like, let's relax, and I've learned that it's helped me as well. But I've also learned that I can't turn to jokes all the time when I really need to deal with pain and trauma. Um, and I learned that whenever my mom passed away, 'cause it was like, "Okay, girl, you can't crack jokes and laugh through this," you know? So that was something that, like, really hit home for me. But I think, not I, I think, I know that's where my humor comes from, is just from trying to make myself feel comfortable in awkward situations.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. I think we, um, you, you and I, we spoke about this briefly. I think, uh, some of, like, the best comedians or people that are just funny-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... their, their comedy actually comes from, like, a dark place.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
And, um, [clicks tongue] I think about for you in, in that, in that origin, it's like, uh, comedy was almost like a performance.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
The way that you describe it, it sounds like a performance.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
And a performance can be so great 'cause it entertains people-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... and it brings people together and they smile, but for the performer, sometimes it can be exhausting.
- LPLex P
Yeah, for sure. I think sometimes I have to show up, because if I don't, I feel like I'm 50% of the show, right? So if I'm not my usual self, then you have to carry your weight. It's just like being at a job, you know? If you're supposed to be, like, a janitor and you're supposed to clean up, you can't clean half the bathroom and think you still gonna get paid and do what you're paid to do. So it is, like I said, a lot of performing. Like, like I said, even with me, like, I had learned to make fun of myself before other people could as a defense mechanism. Like, "You not finna make fun of me. I'll make fun of myself. Yeah, I'm, uh, yeah, I'm big. I'm this, I'm that. I'ma crack them jokes. I'ma get them off." You know what I'm saying?
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So, um, I think for me it is a performance, but again, it makes me feel comfortable. Like, that's where I find comfort in, is just, like, if I can make people laugh and I can make myself laugh, it eases the tension that I feel in a room. Because I'm actually really a lot more shy than what people would assume. This is my job. I'm used to doing this, but, like, being in front of cameras and stuff, it's like, it's still something you have to adjust to, you know?
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know what? And it, and I [clicks tongue] even mentioned it in the, in the quote that I read out. You end up going to Houston.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- 21:45 – 25:48
Why I risked everything to go to Atlanta
- LPLex P
Absolutely. Even when, like I said, I was living in Houston. Drea had called me to move to Atlanta, and it all happened in, like, a two, three-week span. I was like, "I don't have nothing to lose." I just went through a bad breakup, shaved my hair. So I had hair like yours.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
They thought I was Calum, yeah. Uh, so I shaved my head, packed my car up, went... [laughs] Sorry. Went to Atlanta, and, you know, me and Drea, I told Drea I was gonna live with her for a month, ended up staying with her for six months. And, you know, we started our content and stuff, and it got to a point to where nothing was moving, and I was like, "I'm gonna go back to school next semester." And I told her that. I was like, "Hey, I'm starting to..." I was, like, literally applying for... I was gonna go back and go to dental school 'cause I was gonna be a dental hygienist, so, like, literally I was almost there. I was like, "Okay, when January rolls around, I'm going back to school, and I'm just gonna get a regular job."
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
And that didn't happen 'cause we went on 85 South. Literally, that's how it happened. Like, I wanna say it was, like, around October, November maybe. I can't exactly remember, but we went on 85 South, and I was like, "Okay, maybe I don't have to go to school."
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
Thank God. And my hair grew out.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs] Y- y- you know what? Y- at, at that point in time when Drea, who's your best friend and now the co-host-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... of your very successful show, Poor Minds, but at that point in time when she reaches out to you-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... and says you should come to Atlanta, and I'm curious if you guys even, even had this conversation in, like, hindsight. What is it that she was seeing in your life where she was like, "Okay, no. Like, Lex needs to come to At- like, she needs a change of scenery"?
- LPLex P
She saw that man I was with. And one thing about Drea, she don't play. She has a very, like... when it comes to dating. So she knew the guy I was with. She's like, "Girl, you're not doing nothing. You working at this dead-end job. You have this awful relationship that you're in, and you wanna get in media." She's like, "Girl, you just need to come out here. You need a fresh start." And she had her own situation that she was kinda going through with her roommate at the time, and I think we just really needed each other. Like, I needed her energy, and she needed mine, and we just both kinda wanted a fresh start and see what we could do together because we kinda wanted, we both wanted to do something in media. We just didn't know what.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So it was a easy way to convince me. Like, she was like, "Girl, you know, me and her aren't living together anymore. You're going through a breakup. Just come out here." So I was like, "You know what? I need a fresh start." And I wanted to kinda, like, show him, like, "I don't need you. I can move on to bigger and better things," only for me to move to Atlanta, I was still dating the bat.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
That's another story for another time. But we let him go eventually, but yeah, it was more so of, like, I, I had nothing to lose literally. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by moving to Atlanta.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what? The... I think about that statement, like, um, having nothing to lose.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
I think it, it, weirdly enough, it's actually kind of a powerful place to be.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
That's when you typically take, like, big risks.
- LPLex P
'Cause you can't go no- I had nowhere to go but up. My account already in the negative. My car was raggedy. I still got that same car. It's still raggedy, but I-
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
... ain't got no car note. Yeah, hello. But, um, I, I had nothing to lose and, like I said, everything to gain, so I'm like, "Why not?" You know? Like, I picked up and I moved from Orange to Houston. I can do it one more time. I can do it again, you know?
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what? I understand it. I, I understand the ... the $3 in the account.
- LPLex P
Oh, yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Like, I understand the, the finances and how that, how that feels.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
But talk to me at that point in time, 'cause you had mentioned you have nothing to lose.
- 25:48 – 30:49
I had $3 left...it was so embarrassing!
- CJCalum Johnson
in time?
- LPLex P
And I think at this point, too, I had just, like I said, I was in a, a really awful relationship, so that took a blow to my confidence, like feeling like you're not good enough for somebody that you think that you're in love with. Um, I'm seeing a lot of people around me just find all this success, and I'm, I kinda just felt, you know, I felt worthless if I'm being honest. Like, I just felt like I was just a waste of space. I'm like, "What am I doing?" I'm living with my sister. She's only making me pay her, like, $200 a month, and I'd be late on that. So I'm like, mentally I was really just in a bad space. I had completely let myself go. Like, I used to be the girl that was always dressing up, taking care of myself, going to happy hour, being very social, but I had really shut down. Like, I didn't really want people to see me, 'cause I was really embarrassed. Like, our jobs are such a big part of our lives, just as people. You know, we work 40 hours a week typically if you have a full-time job. So it's natural for people to be like, "Oh, okay, well, what do you do for a living?" Because what you do for a living is a big part of your life, and I found myself being embarrassed to talk about it, not just because I wasn't proud of what I was doing, but I was, I was broke. And it was like, I don't even got no kids, you don't got no responsibilities, and you still ain't got no money.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So mentally I was just, I was really beating myself up for it, and looking back, I wish I would've gave myself more grace and been nicer to myself. But I also think the mental state I was in, I coulda went two ways, right? I coulda fell into a deep depression of feeling sorry for myself, and I would've probably still been in that same position, you know, years later. But I also decided to, okay, girl, you gotta pick yourself up and do something. You can't keep crying and wanting to change. I think a lotta times people, like, pray for God to change their life, and you know, He's gonna listen to your prayers, but you also have to put work behind that prayer.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So as I was praying, I was working and made a way. Like, the $3 story is true. Like, I waited for my paycheck, got my paycheck, paid off my little, paid my sister the last little $200 I had, paid my phone bill, and by the time, um, I made it to Atlanta, I had filled my gas tank up twice, and out of that paycheck I literally had $3 left. By the time I got to Drea's house, account said $3, fo' sho.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm-hmm.
- LPLex P
So, um, I made it happen, though. I'm like a person, like, I get very sad, but I only give myself a short time, amount of time to be sad. Like, I'm not gonna sit in that.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Mm-mm.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know what? I think, I think to your point, there's, um, and I, and I felt this, there's like a, a sense of shame when you're down.
- LPLex P
Yes.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know? Especially, I don't know if it's being in this country.
- LPLex P
Yes, it is.
- CJCalum Johnson
But when you don't have, like, the level of finances that you want, there's like a sense of shame, and it's like everything that you do in your day, it reminds you that you don't have money.
- LPLex P
Yes, you don't... 'Cause you get on Instagram, oh, she got a Chanel, he got a G-Wagon. But you know why Pour Minds popped off? Because even when I'm getting hundreds and thousands of views, I was still honest. No, I don't got it. Y'all see this bag? This one fake. This, my ex bought me this one, and it got $2 in it now, 'cause I got a little candy bar on the way to the studio today. Don't got $3 no more. So for me, it was more so, like, I was honest. I never tried to sit in front of the cameras and be something I wasn't. I didn't try to sit in front of y'all and be like, "Oh yeah, this the lifestyle I'm living." I'm like, "No, I don't got it." And I think people could respect that and relate to it because I'm being real. It's, 'cause when me and Drea came out, it was when Instagram was booming with all the post your bags, post your things, and there's nothing wrong with that. But the average person isn't living like that, and I think me sharing my journey of being honest, where I was coming from financially, and being that this is a choice that I made, though. 'Cause my mom didn't want me to move, and she was like, "If you're here, I can help you and I can take care of you. If you move, I'm not helping you no more." And I was like, you know what? I gotta leave the nest.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
And I took, I took that chance. So I was really... When I moved to Atlanta, that was the first time I was paying rent by myself. Like, I had never paid my own rent, 'cause my mom was always, or the guy I was dealing with at the time was taking care of it for me. So, um, I think for me it was just more so of proving to myself, like, I can do this, you know? Like, I had to prove to myself, like, I can be on my own.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You, you mentioned, um, even, like, the, the pushback, uh, that your mom gave you at the time-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... in, like, moving to Atlanta. I also heard you talking about in an interview that, uh, your boyfriend at the time-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... said that you shouldn't go to Atlanta or-
- LPLex P
Oh, yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... Can, can you, can you talk about that? 'Cause you said it was actually an easy decision for you to go.
- LPLex P
Uh-huh.
- CJCalum Johnson
But I, I think for most people it wouldn't be, given just the, the people that are close to them-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... are not supporting that, like-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- 30:49 – 34:36
My Ex hated Pour Minds...
- LPLex P
So that was, um, a relationship I was in, like, right when me and Drea first met. So this was probably about two or three years before she had... Well, before I had went out there, and maybe, like, a year before she had left. Because before she had left Atlanta, she kept saying that she was gonna go out there and she wanted to be out there, and I was like, "Ooh, I kinda wanna go with her," and kinda, but we never really seriously talked about it. So that, that, this was actually a different boyfriend. Don't wanna get them confused. It's a lot of boyfriends, child.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
Mind y'all business.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
But this boyfriend that I had at the time, and it, it's just so funny how life works out because I remember we all went on a cruise. It was me, him, my sister, um, her boyfriend at the time, and my mom. And he was just like, "Okay, so, you know, what do you wanna do now? You know, you're out of school. Like, what do you wanna do?" And I was like, you know, I said, "Drea is talking about moving to Atlanta and, like, getting in the media." I was like, "I think I kinda wanna do that. Like, I really wanna take, you know, I have my degree in, um, journalism, mass communications. I really wanna do this." I kid you not, word for word, verbatim, he looked at me in my eyes and he laughed, and he was like, "There ain't no money in that."
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
And he was hard down laughing. Like, he was having a hoot. I didn't crack a joke that time. What you laughing at?
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
So I was like, it... I, I cri- I ran back to the room. Well, not ran. I'm being dramatic. I went back to the room, and I didn't show him, but I, I cried. I sat in that room and I cried. And I, 'cause it's like somebody that you're in a relationship with that should be believing in you and pushing you literally told me, "You're never gonna make that happen, babe. I'm so sorry." Um, so in that moment, it was very easy to leave that relationship. Um, it's crazy 'cause that's how much I was kinda like believing in myself and my talents. It was like, a man could do, uh, the worst things, you know, cheat on me, whatever. You think it's hard to leave, but like if somebody, "Oh, you don't believe in me? Oh, you can go."
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
You know what I'm saying? So, and fast-forward, you know, however many years it's been since we had that conversation, I think that was like 13, 14 years ago, but like fast-forward now, he always swears up and down, "Oh, I always believed. I knew." No, you literally didn't. Like, no, you didn't at all. Like, you're actually lying. And I don't let people forget.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
I always remind them, "No, you didn't believe in me," but that's okay because there's a lot of people who did, and I'm thankful for those people.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Would you say it lit a fire under you?
- LPLex P
Yes. When people doubt me, that is my favorite thing, 'cause like I always say this, it's not about proving you wrong. It's about proving myself right.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
I am always right about myself. I've always been right about Drea. I told Drea the same thing. Um, Drea has always experienced, like, a lot of jealousy within her friend groups and things like that, and I'm just like, Drea is so funny and she's so sweet. And so I feel like when it comes to us and our dynamic and our drive and our ambition, I've always been right about that. And I think that Poor Minds and Love Lex P is not only a testament to how good our chemistry is and how entertain- entertaining we are, but also our work ethic. Like, you're not finna outwork me, like, ever.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
I work hard, and I'm proud of that, and I'm smart, and it's a lot of things to me. So every time somebody doubts me I'm like, "Damn, I gotta prove myself right again. You finna get left behind." And then ting, like a few years later, "Oh, I wanna be in the business of Pour Minds." Do you?
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
No. You want them checks now you see them coming in.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
So yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know, I, I, I feel it, um, even in my own story, that, uh, that chip on the shoulder.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
And, and it's very true what you say, 'cause there's... Once things start to work, there's people that will come around and-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... claim that they always-
- 34:36 – 42:00
The viral episode that changed Pour Minds forever
- CJCalum Johnson
Can you, for people that are unaware, can you take us behind the scenes of just what that moment was? Like, what happened? Because up until that moment-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... from your story, it feels like nothing was really working.
- LPLex P
Uh-uh.
- CJCalum Johnson
Like, things weren't sticking, and especially when it comes to your ambitions, what we spoke about in the beginning-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... of, like, being in entertainment, being a star.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know, being, like, someone that people would come and see.
- LPLex P
Right.
- CJCalum Johnson
It wasn't working at all.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
And that moment, things shifted.
- LPLex P
Yes. So, and that's why I said I always knew, like, I was special or I was gonna do something, and I always felt like I had a bigger purpose, not only for me and my wants, but I enjoy just making people feel good. So even when I felt like, "Okay, the show's not going nowhere. I need to go back to dental school," I still had like a little fire in me. So it still hurt me, and I was like, "Okay, if I have to go back to school, maybe I can still do this on the side." But, um, Carlos Miller had been following me and Drea online for a while, and one thing about Carlos, he's a very, he's a very smart person. He's very observant. So he was kinda, I guess, like, just sitting back and watching us and seeing if we were gonna be, seeing if, like, our show was gonna be consistent. So at this point, Poor Minds had been consistent. Um, we were working with DJ Scream in Atlanta, so we had like, um... No, this was, this was bef- yeah, we had worked with DJ Scream, so we were kinda like in a nicer studio, things like that. So the numbers were doing okay, but we still hadn't made that turn yet-
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm
- LPLex P
... like, where we had lots of eyes on us.
- CJCalum Johnson
What, what is okay? When you say the numbers are doing okay-
- LPLex P
Um
- CJCalum Johnson
... what are we talking about?
- LPLex P
In, during this period, like, our, our numbers were probably, like, in maybe like 2, 3,000.
- CJCalum Johnson
Okay.
- LPLex P
So that ain't bad.
- CJCalum Johnson
Decent, yeah.
- LPLex P
You know, that was decent.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
You know? Um, and I was still working my job. I was at work one night, and, um, [lips smack] well, not work one night. Drea had said, "Hey, we need to do, um, Tuesday, we need to go do 85 South." Carlos DM'd me he wants us to come on the show, and I'm just like, at this time I... Of course everyone know who Carlos Miller is in DC and Chico, but I wasn't really privy to, like, podcasting, and I really wasn't privy to how huge they were at this time. So I'm like, "Well, Drea, I gotta work, girl. I have to work." She's like, "Lex, are you serious? Like, you need to get off of work and come." I literally remember getting off work and doing my makeup like, "Oh my God. I do not wanna go, but g- girl, just go. You never know what's gonna happen from this." So I ended up going. It was our first time on 85. Show goes completely viral. It, it did, like, a million views in one week. Like, we had so many viral moments from that episode. Literally me making that joke, that linebacker joke, still goes viral to this day. And so after that, you know, we started having, having meetings with everybody from the 85 South team, and we eventually, um, they eventually brought us on. Um, they're our management team, and they really kinda helped us build our business. So they got us a new studio, got us a ad deal, you know, got us sponsorships, and I was like, "Oh, shit." And after being signed with them, I think we were signed with them for maybe a year, maybe a little less than that, but I was able to quit my job.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know what? It's, it's... And I, and I, and I wanna go to this, 'cause I think these moments are so special.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- 42:00 – 51:09
Why I'll never be a quitter
- LPLex P
I mean, honestly, I, I honestly don't have anything to say to her because I feel like every decision that she made is why I'm here still today, you know? But I think for people who are in that position, I always tell people there is no benefit in quitting. I have never quit something and I was like, "Oh, I'm so happy I'm not doing that anymore." Because every time you quit, you have to go through the pain of starting over. And if I would've quit, I couldn't imagine. The hustle and the drive I had, I still have that, it's just, it looks different now 'cause I have a team. I have people who can help me, things like that. But the way I was taking a lunch break, going record, editing, cutting this clip, doing this, like, it was a lot. And I always tell people, "If you quit, you're gonna have to start all over." It's just like going to the gym, right? You be like, a year later, you're like, "Damn, imagine if I would've stuck to the gym for this entire year, where I would be at now."
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So I always feel like you have to be consistent. Consistency is the easiest part, but it's also hard because you wanna quit 'cause you don't see the bene- you don't see the, the product yet. But being consistent in everything literally changed my life. Being consistent with Poor Minds, and it took Poor Minds a long time to pop off. Um, showed me what I can do. So it was very easy for me to do that with Love Lex P., my other podcast that I have. I've been consistent with Love Lex P. for over a year now, and my subscribers, I mean, I'm, I'm getting over 60,000 views on YouTube per episode, and, like, over 20,000 on my audio.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So my entity alone is about to hit 100,000 views and listens alone in a year. So I think being consistent and just telling people, "Don't quit," because nothing happens overnight. A lot of people kinda watch this and then be like, "Who the hell is this girl? She just popped up out of nowhere." But if you get on YouTube and you go to click oldest video, I've been around for a very, very long time. So I just think consistency is the game changer because like I said, I'm always gonna outwork people. I may not be the prettiest, I may not be the funniest, I'ma be the loudest.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
But I may not be the number one at a lot of things, but nobody is outworking me, period. And that's something I take pride in.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what, when you, when you talk about that climb and that rise of Poor Minds and, you know, getting off work and, like, filming something in between-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... and it sounds like actually the hustle and the level of hunger that you had at that time-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... it actually made the content ... better
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
Like the adversity of the whole situation made it better
- LPLex P
I'm be- 'cause I was literally getting off work, and I'm like, "Bitch, I need a drink. Let's pour up, and let me tell you what the hell happened at work today 'cause these people got me messed up." So you literally see me venting. You literally see me going through it, and I think that hustle is also what I learned, you know, working at the clubs. I used to, you know, work at a restaurant. Then I would get off my restaurant job, go to the strip club, and bartend. So I used to just literally be having shifts that would start at noon, and then I'm not getting off of work till 5:00 o'clock in the morning. So working long hours, that never, that never scared me.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So now they do. I like to rest, but I worked hard for my rest. I'm tired. Auntie getting old.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah
- LPLex P
So it's like, yeah, I'ma take my days off. I love to relax. They be like, "What's your hobby?" Sleeping.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
I love to sleep, but I, I put in a lot of work. But I know we have a lot more to do. Like, we have a long way to go. I think a lot of people like, "Oh my gosh, you and Drea, y'all have made it." We haven't. In the grand scheme of things, like, I got a lot of work to do.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know, w- w- we're gonna get to that, but you, you have this moment with 85 South-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... and that virality. I think one of the things, and I understand this, I'm sure you do as well as a content creator, just because you have, like, viral moments or, like, a moment-
- LPLex P
Yes
- CJCalum Johnson
... it kind of is a moment. That's-
- LPLex P
That's all it is
- CJCalum Johnson
... that's not the same as consistently doing it over and over again, and then it's definitely not the same as actually, uh, making money-
- 51:09 – 55:51
The conversation that saved Me and Drea's friendship
- CJCalum Johnson
What, what comes to mind?
- LPLex P
You know, one thing that's great about our relationship is that we're able to have uncomfortable conversations. So, like, early in the beginning episodes, like, we weren't even talking. Like, we would literally record, and I would just get my stuff and I would leave. Like, we... Only time we would talk was on Wednesdays whenever we recorded. And I think once we got to the point to where I was like, "Okay, bro, are we gonna do this show, or are we gonna be friends? 'Cause they're, they can't coexist." And I was willing to b- like, we were both like, "You know what? Let's just stop doing Wind Down Wednesdays so we can enjoy our friendship." And then we were like, "No, but we kinda like doing this. We just need to figure out, like, how can we be happy again?" You know? And I think once we had that uncomfortable conversation, it made all the conversations still to this day be comfortable, because when I have a moment where I'm like, "Okay, friend, you kinda hurt my feelings whenever you did this," she's not the type of person to be like, "Well, you hurt my feelings whenever you did this three weeks ago." Like, I think our emotional intelligence really shines through, so we're able to have these conversations, and they be productive conversations, and we're not bringing up old things and trying to throw it in somebody's face. So, um, I think that our ability to have uncomfortable conversations, and we don't have ego when it comes to each other. Like, this is Pour Minds. This, there's no Beyoncé in the group. Like, nobody's outshining anybody. It's 50% Drea and 50% Lex P, and that's 100% Pour Minds.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm-hmm. You know what? I think there's so many... And I think it's part of the reason why, uh, people love your content and seeing you guys together, is, uh, they, they want to have, like, a best friend.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
That best friendship in the same way that you and Drea have that friendship, and it's like this sisterhood, and it's built.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
And you spend so much time together, and you're, like, there for one another. And so I'm curious for someone that's listening, when it comes to building that level of trust-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... and, like, friendship and chemistry and rapport with someone, is there a piece of advice that you would have? Of, like, you've, you see it even with other friends, of, like, this is why you guys fall out.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
This is why you, you know, you never actually get to that level.
- LPLex P
Yeah. I think the problem is a lot of times people are trying to, especially in this day and age of social media and content, people are more so trying to become friends with people and force things for the look. You know? They wanna create content with their bestie. They wanna do this with their bestie. I'm like, do you really want a friend, or do you want somebody you can do TikToks with?
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
You know what I'm saying? And I think people are searching for things that they're, that probably traumatized them and that they're trying to heal in somebody else. Like, "Oh, I didn't have a sister growing up." And it's like, that's not what... I mean, I do have a sister out of her, but it's not her job to heal any wounds that I had, that I had growing up or anything like that. Like, our friendship was really based off of, "Oh, girl, you got a, a communications degree? Oh, so do I. Oh, you like to drink, girl? So do I." And we really just learned that we had a lot in common, and we just grew to love each other, just like a regular friendship or relationship. So I think the fact that our relationship was based on love, I think that's what we have to get back to in all aspects of life, period. In dating, in friendships. Like, people just don't love people anymore. People are not nice anymore. People aren't genuine anymore, and you wonder why everything around you is crumbling. I am full of love. I put love into everything. Love into my family, my friends, my job, and that's why everything around me continues to bloom. I love. I fill the room with love, and I feel like me giving that energy out into the universe is why it's always come back to me.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what? You, you, you mention love, and I, and I, I remember hearing this in a interview that you did, which is, like, even now, and I think even the most loving people, we still have, like, dark moments.
- LPLex P
Oh, yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know? We still have moments where we're not feeling like that.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
And so I'm curious for you, 'cause I, I heard you speak about it in an interview, that typically around the holidays-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... is actually, like, quite a dark time for you. Okay, so a lot of you will be watching and seeing this show for the first time, and so I wanted to ask for a quick favor, and that's to subscribe to the channel. And if you do, the promise that I'll make is we're gonna take everything that we do here to the next level. That means scale the guests, scale the storytelling, the production, every little detail of what makes this show great so that we bring you an even better experience. You hit that subscribe button, we make this show better for you. Do we have a deal? Let's get back to the show.
- 55:51 – 1:03:17
Why I hate holidays...
- LPLex P
Yes. Holidays are horrible for me. Um, and that's something that's happened recently. Um, growing up I had the, the Christmas house. Uh, Santa, s- blow-up snowman in the yard, Santas in the yard, big Christmas tree, presents all under the tree. Everybody comes down to my house for Christmas 'cause we had the big house in the family. And Christmas was, like, a time. Thanksgiving was a time. I had such a big family growing up, and my house that I grew up in was so busy, loud, and full of love. And it was like when me and my sister graduated, you know, my mom was just kinda in the house by herself. Then she eventually would come to Houston, and we would kinda do Christmases at my sister's house, and it would ki- it would just be us. It would just be me and my mom and my sister, 'cause my family, you know, just over time, family feuds, things like that, people fall apart. We started doing, you know, Thanksgiving and Christmases apart. And You know, after my mom passed, I just, I didn't see a point of it. It didn't bring me joy. Like, the joy that I felt for Christmas was not even gifts at that point. I'm an adult. We wasn't exchanging gifts. We were sitting around laughing, getting drunk, taking pictures together, having a good time. And once my mom passed, I was like, "Ain't shit to celebrate no more," you know? Like, Christmas is about family, and my family's dead. That's what I felt like. So, um, I actually didn't celebrate Christmas for, like, two years, or Thanksgiving. Like, I, I don't even think I went home. And, um, I decided to change that. I think it was maybe 2024, [lips smack] um, I went and I had Christmas with my aunt and my uncles, and we all celebrated. But it still didn't feel the same because I knew, and it's, it's probably sounds harsh to say, but I, I knew that the only reason I was there was 'cause my mom was dead. Like, my mom's not here, so this is literally the only reason I'm here, and that's how I felt. And so for me, I was like, how can I celebrate and give these memories to my nephews and give, and create new memories? So I, I recently bought a house and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna make myself get in the holiday spirit. I mean, as soon as Thanksgiving was over, I decorated my entire house. I mean, I put up a tree, the lights, the whole thing, just to, you know, start to cheer me up. 'Cause I know my mom is like, "Girl, what are you doing? You know we don't get down like that. You get up and you put a goddamn tree up in your house and put up some lights, and that Santa better be Black, okay?" So I decorated my whole house, and my sister was like, We're gonna do something for, um, Christmas every year. And so now we take trips. So we had our first Christmas trip last year. We went to Colorado. It was me, her, um, her spouse, and my two nephews. And we went to Colorado and we had a great time. So the holidays, it was hard for me. Um, but I'm learning to get back into it. Like, I had a great time in Colorado. I was still kinda sad, but I, I think it was important for me to start a new tradition for me and something that makes me happy. Like, I don't wanna be places where I feel like I'm only here because my mom's not here, you know? Like, I felt like I'm here because me and my sister wanna be here together, and we're creating new memories. So that was probably, like, the best Christmas that I've had in years.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what, Lex? When you, um, when you talk about your mom and, uh, just, like, even some of the experiences that you had with her-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... in many ways it sounds like she was, like, your best friend.
- LPLex P
Oh yeah. Like, [sighs] my mom was, like, everything I wanted to be. Like, as a little girl, you know, like, you look up to, you know, the Oprahs and things like that. I always looked up to my mom. I was like, "Oh my gosh, she is, like, the coolest person in the entire world." And I grew up with one parent and not even understanding that I was at a disadvantage because I had more than people with two parents had. Like, I had everything. Never missed out on anything. So me and my mom were extremely, extremely close. So when she passed, it was like I, I completely changed. Like, still to this day, I'm not the same person, but I've learned that that's okay. I think for, like, the first two, three years, I'm like, "Why don't I like doing anything? Why do I just wanna go home and just sleep all the time? Why don't I have the energy? Why don't I..." And I was so mad at, I was being so hard on myself. And, you know, I also had to tour after my mom passed, but I was like, I can't just not tour. Like, I have people depending on me to tour, you know? But I always do what I know my mom would want me to do because if I would've quit, that would've pissed her off. Like, made her so mad. And, um, I also learned to embrace my new self. Like, the person that I was when my mom was alive is no longer here because she died with my mom, but it's not a bad thing. Like, the person that I am today is beautiful, and it's a result of my grief, and I think that I have found a whole new community of pe- It's a horrible club to be a part of. You know, the dead mom club. Like, nobody wants to be a part of that. But also, I have found a community of people who get me and understand me, and I, we comfort each other. I comfort them. Like, some days I can talk about my mom and I will cry uncontrollably. Some days I'll talk about her and I'm cracking up laughing because she was goofy, crazy, you know? So I think this new person that I am is what, um, is just a, a gift to the people who watch my show and they are grieving. It's people who lose their parents every day and they constantly are messaging me like, "What do I do?" And I'm like, "Girl, you don't do nothing. You wake up and you just try to get through the day, and you are gonna get through the day." And it's not something that gets easier, I'm not gonna lie to you, but you learn to adjust. Grief looks different, and you learn to give yourself grace. So I think that, um, losing my mom completely changed me, but I've learned to embrace this new person that I am.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what? Do you, do you ever think about, um, what she would say, like, if she could see you now?
- LPLex P
She would be in my house, all up in my stuff, but happy. I know, like, 'cause my mom was literally-- Like, when we first signed to 85, she used to be in the comments arguing with people about me. "Who you talking about? 'Cause you can't hold a candle to my baby. Who you think you funnier than? Who you think you finer than? Not my baby." So I used to have to tell my mom, like, "Mom, get out the comments. Like, you cannot do that." Um, literally, if you go to my mom's Instagram, she has, like, two pictures. One is of me, and the other one is of, like, me and one of the, um, people that work for 85. Shout out to Ryan. And we were, like, at a party. Like, I'm-- Just on her Instagram. So, um, she would be so happy, and she would be like, "I knew. I knew it." She would probably be like, "I knew it." She was kind of skeptical at first when I moved to Atlanta, but after I had been to Atlanta, I'm, I'm just glad she got to see the beginnings of it. She got to see us do our first tour. She never got to see me live, but I'm glad that she knew that I was okay, and I think that's what, at the time of her passing, I think that's what she was okay with kind of like passing on because she knew like, "Okay, my girls are gonna be okay."
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- 1:03:17 – 1:09:16
My mom was my superhero...[EMOTIONAL]
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
I, I heard you say, you said, "My mom passing away humanized her for me."
- LPLex P
Oh, yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
It's like, "Girl, your mom was human."
- LPLex P
Yeah. Um, sorry, I don't want to get emotional. I think a lot of times we all do this. Um, as children, we look at our moms like, especially a lot of single Black moms, um, like they're Superwoman, you know? They can handle everything, and I always looked at my mom like that, like nothing, nothing bothers her. She, she got it. She can handle it. Everything that's on her plate, she got it. And my mom had a lot of things going on that she hid from me and didn't want to tell me. She didn't want to stress me out or worry me, and she, I think she knew that I looked at her in that light of being like Superwoman, and I think she wanted me to feel like she always had it together. So I think whenever she started, her health started declining and things like that, you know, she didn't want to tell me because she knew I was gonna worry and I was gonna say, "No, you need to come to Atlanta. You need to live with me. You need to..." And she didn't want that. So whenever she passed away and, like, I found out everything that was going on, it was kind of like this was a woman who's living for her first time and figuring it out. This is somebody who didn't have the answers, who didn't know, and she was probably scared as well. You know what I'm saying? So it definitely made me look at things like, you know, um... A- a- and it breaks my heart when I see people who, like, write me messages and they're like, "Oh my gosh, I can't stand my mom. My mom was my first bully." And I'm just like, "You know what? No, I don't have my mom, but I'm so grateful I had a mom that loved me." I didn't have that first bully situation 'cause you see a lot of Black women that go through that as well. Their mom was their first bully. Their mom picked a man over them. My mom, I was, me and my sister were her world, and she made sure we knew it every day. So if I had to pick, you know, I was what? 33, um, when my mom passed, 32, I can't even think of it, but I would have rather had 32, 33 years with that woman than 80 years with somebody, anybody else's mom, beefing with them, whatever. I had the perfect mother. So her death 100% humanized her for me 'cause I'm like, you know what? Only thing I wish I could change is, like, just giving her more grace when I was younger. Of course, I'm a child, I don't know, but gi- this is their first time here, too.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
Our parents do not know what they're doing. My mom was a young mother. She had me at 23 and my sister at 20, married my dad when she was 20. She was pregnant at her wedding, child, but y'all didn't hear that from me. Um, but they were young, only for my dad to pass away and she had these two little babies that she had to figure out what to do. So yeah, it made me realize, okay, this is her first time on earth as well. So her death extremely humanized her for me, but like I said, it is something that, our bond was something that I wouldn't trade with the world. So if I had to go through it again and lose her all over again at 30-something, but I could get the same mom, I would do it all over again.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what? I just want to say thank you for, first of all, for sharing that in the way that you did, and also just speaking to you, I can tell that you've, um, you've had to do, like, introspection-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... and, like, work and I can, I can feel that speaking to you.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
And I think the way that you actually speak about your mom is very special.
- LPLex P
Yeah. Um, like I said, it depends on what day you catch me on, but I think, like, like I've learned just being in therapy, like grief is very hard, but, you know, when you love somebody, loving is so scary because it's a risk. Because no matter, like, if we get married or whatever the love is, this person, you're gonna lose them one day, 'cause we all have to die someday. And the beauty about, that's the beauty of love. You know? It's just like, and then grief is just like love with nowhere to go. So it's these mixed emotions. But I hate to say it's beautiful, but you have to look at it like that because it's a part of life.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
And a part of life is growing and learning how to love this person that you miss so deeply. Like, you can feel it physically, like your body, like, yearns to just hug this person, but you can't, and it's painful at times. But learning how to navigate that, it is a beautiful thing. And, you know, I have dreams about her and it's like I, sometimes I wake up and I have a dream about her, I'm just like, "That lady bothering me in my damn dreams."
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
You know what I'm saying? So it's a beautiful thing just to learn how to navigate and, like I said, it's a horrible club to be a part of, but unfortunately, you know, that's, we all have to face that one day. You know? So the thing that I've always loved about love is just like you know that it's going to end one day, but loving somebody, it's a good feeling. Like, the way I loved my mother is, was beautiful, so if I have to love like that, I'm okay with taking that loss because that love was so beautiful for me.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. I think th- there's a, there's a quote that I always, um- One of my favorite quotes, which is, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved in the beginning."
- LPLex P
Yes, 100%.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
I, I feel that even in my friendships. Like, I obviously, like, I'm... I said I'm full of love. Like, I love my nephews, I love my sister, I love my friends. Like, I just, I love loving people, you know? And like I said, the l- the feeling of losing love doesn't scare me because how good it feels to just have community and have people who love me. And I think I, I do that on the show as well. Like, I love the people who support me. Like, I purposely create community of just positiveness and just feel-good vibes because, like I said, life is hard. So I, I want to at least people to always know that, "Man, Lex made me smile. Lex made me feel good."
- 1:09:16 – 1:14:18
What's next for Lex P?
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah. You know what? And, and it's, uh... We, we've seen it just throughout this conversation, is like, uh, you have a special story.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
You know? Like, there's, there's been so many ups and downs-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... and, and moments, and I think in terms of the show and what you guys are building, it's going from strength to strength. And so before we get out of here, I'm curious for you in your mind, 'cause I know that there's... You still have, like, this hunger to you. Like, there's still something-
- LPLex P
Oh, yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... there's so much more that you want to achieve.
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm.
- CJCalum Johnson
I think you said that earlier on. For the people that watch you, but then even people that aren't familiar with you-
- LPLex P
Mm-hmm
- CJCalum Johnson
... is like, where is it that you want to go next? Like, what are your ambitions and some of the things that people might not even expect from you, but it's, like, very much at the forefront of your mind?
- LPLex P
You know, [sighs] it's, it's a lot. Like, I definitely wanna get into, like, comedic acting. You know, like, my goal is to, like... I'm a dreamer now, so hold on, hold onto your bridges from what I'm about to say. I really feel like we gotta give somebody a Oscar for, like, a comedy film. Like, I feel like that used to happen, like, in the early days of the Oscars, but I'm like, "You know what? I'm gonna get me a Oscar one day." Just for my... I'ma have the theater laughing so hard they're gonna be like, "We gotta give this bitch a Oscar."
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
So I definitely wanna get into acting. Um, like I said, I have my other show, Love Lex P, and my goal with Love Lex P, 'cause I like to talk obviously, I'm a yapper, and, but one thing about it is I've al- also always been, like, a person who, like, celebrity gossip is interesting. You know, like, we all love to talk about what's new going on, but I think that the stan culture and blogs have taken it too far, where we forget that these people are humans as well.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
So what I've done with Love Lex P is I talk about celebrity gossip, but it's very lighthearted. We talk about the headline, I give y'all the tea, and we move on because we can discuss these conversations without dehumanizing and torturing and bullying these people, right? So Love Lex P is, like, my little, you know, like, my Wendy Williams type of vibe, but it's very fun, positive, and lighthearted. Um, so I would love for that to get picked up and be, like, you know, a little show. Of course, Poor Minds will always be my number one priority, my number one baby, so our goal for that is to... You know, we wanna get a, a huge streaming deal for that and, you know, be accessible everywhere. I think it's, we still wanna live on YouTube, of course. Um, 'cause we see a lot of the streaming deals all end up going somewhere else, but they always end up coming back to YouTube. So we wanna make a, have a, a, a really big deal for that. And, like I said, there's just... I feel like the sky's the limit. You never know, I might get to the studio and still become a singer.
- CJCalum Johnson
[laughs]
- LPLex P
Fulfill my Beyoncé dreams. I just think the sky's the limit, and I think doing Poor Minds has shown me, like, I have talents I didn't even, even think of. I might do standup this year.
- CJCalum Johnson
Mm.
- LPLex P
They've been trying to convince me to get on the stage, so I might do that. I just feel like I'm the type of person, I'ma try anything.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah, you know, I think, I think the, the, the beauty to your story is a lot of the things that you mentioned, which were, like, childhood aspirations-
- LPLex P
Yeah
- CJCalum Johnson
... and dreams, and even before they were dreams it was like you were just doing it.
- LPLex P
Yeah.
- CJCalum Johnson
Like, you were, you were entertaining or you were singing or you were cracking jokes.
- LPLex P
It was like I was manifesting it. I didn't even know it.
- CJCalum Johnson
Yeah.
- LPLex P
[laughs]
Episode duration: 1:14:18
In the uListen app, the transcript lights up word by word as you listen. Get uListen
Transcript of episode iSL6UDKjesk
