Chris Williamson: The Shocking New Research On Why Men And Women Are No Longer Compatible! | E237

Williamson stresses that chronically unconfident people cannot outthink their way into self-belief because their negative bias crushes positive self-talk. Instead, you must “lead with action”: define very small, winnable promises (e.g., not hitting snooze, writing one Substack post per week) and keep them consistently. Each kept promise is a “layer of paint” or a piece of “undeniable proof” that rewires identity. Missing once is a mistake; missing twice is the start of a new (bad) habit, so never skip two days in a row.

Referencing research on top CEOs, Williamson notes common traits: a crippling sense of insufficiency, a superiority complex, and maniacal focus. Like the rat pulling harder when chased by a cat and lured by cheese, people are often driven more by running from failure than toward success. This fear-based drive can yield extreme achievement but tends to damage relationships, health, and happiness (e.g., Eddie Hall nearly destroying his life to become World’s Strongest Man). You can “deprogram” some of this, but you likely reduce your raw drive unless you replace it with a healthier motivator (in his case, curiosity).

Women now dominate higher education and often out-earn men in their 20s, yet most women still prefer partners at or above them in education and socioeconomic status. This creates the “tall girl problem”: as women move up the competence hierarchy, the pool of acceptable men shrinks. The result is a large cohort of ‘invisible’ lower-status men, and a smaller cohort of highly desirable men with abundant options who are often commitment-averse. Simultaneously, by 2040 an estimated 45% of women 25–45 will be single and childless, with many not having intended that outcome. Any solution must raise men up without pushing women down.

Williamson argues that social media, online dating, food delivery, and remote interactions make life easier but less social. Kids spend far less time in unstructured play, so they don’t acquire the micro-skills needed for social ease. Adults then lack practice in approaching, flirting, and handling rejection. On dating apps, women swipe right on roughly 4.5% of male profiles while men swipe on ~60% of women, and there are about three men per woman on many platforms—breeding male disillusionment and withdrawal. Re-emphasizing in-person interaction and dating could rebalance things by allowing non-digital traits (humor, warmth, presence) to matter again.

Williamson supports the core aim of MeToo—holding abusive powerful men accountable—but argues its cultural aftershocks have “sanitized” then partially “sterilized” male behavior. Around 80% of men report not approaching women for fear of seeming creepy, while 84% of women say they still want men to make the first move. Viral call-out clips (e.g., the ‘toxic gym gaze’ video) help set new, often unclear norms around what’s acceptable. The result: both sexes are lonelier and less likely to form relationships because men fear accusations and women fear predation. The challenge is to discourage predatory behavior without pathologizing all normal courtship.