The Diary of a CEOEXCLUSIVE - Dustin Poirier: I Lost Control! And I’ll Never Let It Happen Again
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
95 min read · 19,105 words- 0:00 – 3:13
Intro
- DPDustin Poirier
I've had bouts with depression throughout my career, but man, when it hits me, it's bad.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Which kind of brings us to the airport incident.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. I really messed up. Man, [censored] you and [censored] her and [censored] her.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Look what happened.
- DPDustin Poirier
So it's Father's Day, and I felt good in the morning. I spent the morning with my kids. But then as I was traveling to work, I felt that feeling again. It's like a cloud in my head that I just can't get out from under. So I started drinking. I'll fight you right now. No, I don't wanna fight, bro. And my emotions got the best of me. Bro, relax. Relax. Relax, bro. Relax. You wanna take this? Got arrested. This guy's a UFC fighter. [censored] . Did I just ruin everything that I was working for? You know, I don't know yet, and it could've been so much worse.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But what was going on in your mind?
- DPDustin Poirier
Bro, I was angry at the world, and I, I just couldn't stop thinking about my father. You know, he's actually homeless right now, and I try to help him out, and he's back out on the street. Not that anything's an excuse, but I wasn't myself. And I never really spoke about it until right now, but I'm back in therapy. And when you sit down with somebody and start opening things up, you realize this could be linked to my childhood.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And when I think about your earliest context, you got a father that's an alcoholic, violence in the home, and your mom said that you were an alcoholic kid.
- DPDustin Poirier
I started drinking at 12, 13.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Expelled from school as well.
- DPDustin Poirier
And got arrested, and I didn't have any goals.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So it was a bit of a rollercoaster. But look what happened. You rose.
- DPDustin Poirier
Dustin Poirier.
- SBSteven Bartlett
One of the best lightweights in the world.
- DPDustin Poirier
I was on top of the world.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But the rollercoasters go down, too, and this was the moment.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
July 30th, you retired. How does it feel looking at that photo?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. I'm trying not to tear up, dude. It was my life, man. Those gloves, me putting them on the mat is a piece of myself I left, but a wise man said, "If a man's lucky, he gets to die twice." That part of me that every day wake up, push yourself to be the best fighter you can be is dead. I'm retired Dustin. I'm businessman Dustin now. You know, it's just I'm trying to figure it all out 'cause for 20 years I was dreaming about being the best. I just wanna dream again, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Has there ever been anything that compared?
- DPDustin Poirier
No, nothing fills that void of what fighting was, and fighting was a part of therapy for me. And some days I wake up, and I'm like, "These top guys that are winning now on these upcoming cards, I can beat them still."
- SBSteven Bartlett
So is there any possibility that you ever return to the UFC?
- DPDustin Poirier
Dustin Poirier.
- SBSteven Bartlett
This is super interesting to me. My team give me this report to show me how many of you that watch this show subscribe, and some of you have told us, according to this, that you are unsubscribed from the channel randomly. So favor to ask all of you, please could you check right now if you've hit the subscribe button if you are a regular viewer of the show and you like what we do here. We're approaching quite a significant landmark on this show in terms of a subscriber number. So if there was one simple free thing that you could do to help us, my team, everyone here, to keep this show free, to keep it improving year over year and week over week, it is just to hit that subscribe button and to double-check if you've hit it. Only thing I'll ever ask of you. Do we have a deal? If you do it, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll make sure every single week, every single month we fight harder and harder and harder and harder to bring you the guests and conversations that you wanna hear. I've stayed true to that promise since the very beginning of The Diary of a CEO, and I will not let you down. Please help us. Really appreciate it. Let's get on with the show. [upbeat music]
- 3:13 – 4:19
How Dustin Poirier's Early Life Shaped Everything That Followed
- SBSteven Bartlett
Dustin Poirier.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yo.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You know, there's a, there's a question that we kind of throw around in society. Um, we say it quite, quite flippantly to people we meet, friends, family, strangers. Um, but, but in this context, I wanna ask it in the most sort of intentional way, and give me the long answer. How are you doing?
- DPDustin Poirier
As a whole, great. Uh, recently there's been some turbulence, you know, uh, but I'm, I'm doing well. Doing well.
- SBSteven Bartlett
There's been some turbulence.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Give me some color on that.
- DPDustin Poirier
I, last week, which is not new to me, like my emotions get the best of me, kind of was in a, in a bad spot, uh, mentally. Started drinking, got arrested, you know, um, got into some trouble at the airport in Atlanta and, uh, you know, not proud of it, but it is what it is.
- 4:19 – 6:01
The Childhood Experiences That Defined Dustin's Mindset
- SBSteven Bartlett
I wanna, um, give some background context. And I spent the last couple of days sort of looking through-
- DPDustin Poirier
Ah
- SBSteven Bartlett
... your childhood and where you come from and who you are to try and fill the picture of Dustin Poirier in my head, and I've got lots of photos of you here as a, as a young man. Um, got another one even younger here that I'll share with you here.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And I think this is incredibly important context because I'd watched you fight the best that there is and beat the best that there is in the UFC, but it wasn't until I understood your earliest context that I started to, like, understand the picture of where you've come from and also in some part, like, how that makes you who you are today.
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So, so take me back. What is the early context that people need to understand to really understand you as a man?
- DPDustin Poirier
Um, I'm just a man, uh, trying his best, trying to provide for my family, learning as I go. I'm not scared to work hard, not scared to chase dreams. Just a kid from Lafayette, Louisiana, who found something to put his all into and, and try to become great at it, you know, with fighting.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Your, your father and your grandfather were fighters?
- DPDustin Poirier
My father boxed, um, growing up when he was younger. My grandfather was in the Navy and worked in the oil field and stuff. They weren't successful fighters. I wouldn't say they were like... Nobody knew who they were.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
But definitely, yeah, I come from fighters for sure.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And from money? Do you come from money?
- DPDustin Poirier
No, definitely not.
- SBSteven Bartlett
What was that like growing up? Was the-
- DPDustin Poirier
It was normal to me 'cause I didn't know any different, you know. Um, it wasn't like I missed a meal or anything like that, but definitely wasn't, wasn't rich or anything or had money to do a whole lot of things when I was younger. But a working class family,
- 6:01 – 6:59
How Dustin's Relationship With His Parents Changed His Life
- DPDustin Poirier
you know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And your parents divorced when you were younger?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Yeah, I lived, I lived with them up until about maybe- ... kindergarten or first, first grade, then they got divorced
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you have any sort of mental models or mental images of them being together when you were younger? Is there any memories of them being together?
- DPDustin Poirier
Honestly, dude, not to, to be, to turn it dark or anything, but the early memories I have of them together ar- aren't the best, you know. It's fighting and violence and stuff
- SBSteven Bartlett
Physical fighting?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
In that Instagram post you, you wrote recently after the incident in the airport, you mentioned your father, and you mentioned, I think, some of his struggles. He had his own struggles with alcohol
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, his whole life he has. Yeah, alcohol has ruined his life
- SBSteven Bartlett
And alcohol was present when you were a young man-
- DPDustin Poirier
Oh, yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
... and you were still there
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. He's been an alcoholic my entire life
- SBSteven Bartlett
Did you have a relationship with him after the divorce?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, of course. I don't know what that's called. Uh, split custody or something where-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... every other weekend I would go to his house, spend the weekend
- 6:59 – 8:21
Why Dustin Believes His Upbringing Made Him Who He Is
- DPDustin Poirier
at his house
- SBSteven Bartlett
How did that season of your life, do you think, as you look back, shape the man that you became? Like that early context, under the age of 10 years old, that violent parents, they divorce, they separate. Your dad is struggling with alcohol. Like how do you look back on that?
- DPDustin Poirier
As a grown man, I look back and think my father was an idiot for, you know, getting s- not being there with his kids. You know, as a father, I think about that. Like I c- I don't... Waking up w- with my kids in the house, running up to me, making them breakfast every day, like I couldn't...
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
I, I never wanna live that type of life. I can't, can't even imagine it. So as an adult and a father looking back on it, I think he's made a lot of mistakes that, y- you know, I think he still lives with
- SBSteven Bartlett
And your mum
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh
- SBSteven Bartlett
Got some nice photos over here as well. Um, I guess that's your wife. Um, but she seems to have been, um, a, a real constant throughout your life. That's her there
- DPDustin Poirier
For sure. For sure. I'll be on vacation with her in a week. Yeah, look at my face
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs] Post-fight
- DPDustin Poirier
Her and my grandmother raised me. She was, you know, everything. Mothers are everything. And she, she still is, you know, calling me, texting me every day, checking on me, asking how I am
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you got two brothers
- DPDustin Poirier
So I have two brothers I grew up with, two brothers and a sister I met when I was 25, 26 years old from my father
- 8:21 – 9:36
From School Fights to Juvenile Detention: What Went Wrong?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm. I guess I'm trying to figure out as well, 'cause I, I heard about what you were like in school. You struggled in school
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
It sound, sounds like you got in a lot of fights when you were younger
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm
- SBSteven Bartlett
Um, I'm trying to figure out where that came from in you
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. I mean, living in south Louisiana, we, we fought all the time. Uh, but I just kept doing it. I just kept going with fighting, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
As a young man, I, I read that you were expelled from school as well
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh
- SBSteven Bartlett
And was that again for fighting and struggling to-
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, yeah, fighting. The one that got me expelled was a fight
- SBSteven Bartlett
And that seems to be a little quite a consistent pattern from 10 to 14, um, struggling in school, fighting, and then at 15, I hear that you end up in juvenile detention center
- DPDustin Poirier
Fourteen
- SBSteven Bartlett
Fourteen
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm
- SBSteven Bartlett
What was the, what was the road there? What happened?
- DPDustin Poirier
I had gotten into some trouble. Uh, at one of the times I was living with my father, I, uh, got into a fight-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... and h- and physically hurt somebody in the fight and got arrested and, uh, I was on probation at the time, and I wasn't going to school. Got picked up for truancy and some other things like that for not going to school and, uh, failed a drug test. I was on probation at the time, failed a drug test, and then I, they sent me to juvenile detention
- 9:36 – 10:36
How Alcohol Entered Dustin's Life at a Young Age
- SBSteven Bartlett
Were you drinking at that age?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
At 15?
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm
- SBSteven Bartlett
When did you start drinking?
- DPDustin Poirier
I was talking to my wife the other day, and I was thinking about that. I don't know, 12, 13 probably
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm. It is, it is quite, um, it's quite curious to me that y- you know, 14, 15, you're getting in trouble for fighting, you end up in a detention center, you're drinking from 12 years old, and it, it, like, begs the question to me as someone that's done lots of these interviews, like what was going on in that, in that young man's mind?
- DPDustin Poirier
I don't have an answer what was going on. Um, n- not having anywhere to put my focus, not, I wasn't trying to be the best at something. I was just l- living day to day, doing whatever. You know, I didn't have any goals. I was a young kid. You know, it's tough to, it's tough to say, to look back to that young and really say what I was thinking at that age. Um, I was just being a kid, I guess
- SBSteven Bartlett
Were you a happy kid?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
You were a happy kid?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you were spending the week with your mother and then the we- you said, was it the weekends with your father?
- DPDustin Poirier
The weekend or every other weekend. I forget exactly how
- 10:36 – 12:41
The Airport Incident: What Really Happened?
- DPDustin Poirier
it was, yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
And when you talk about his life being ruined by alcohol, what do you mean by, what do you mean by that?
- DPDustin Poirier
I mean, he has, he's ruined his marriages, he's ruined his relationships, he's ruined his, his friendships, he's ruined his relationships with his family, with his kids. Two son, three... Well, my little brother kind of is off and on talking to him, but he has two kids that don't speak to him at all and, and won't. Uh, you know, he's been in jail plenty of times for, for alcohol-related stuff and... Yeah, I, if I could paint a picture of what you think of, of, of a classic drunk, uh, or alcoholic, you know, very selfish, um, and continues to go back to it, continues to. He's actually homeless, homeless right now
- SBSteven Bartlett
He's homeless right now?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Part of that, me getting in trouble at the airport, was I just felt, uh, it's, and it's not my weight to carry, you know? But I just felt, I try to help him out and he's back out on the street. It's like he al- almost doesn't want help, you know? And I was just kinda... On Father's Day, I was traveling to work, and, uh, I just couldn't stop thinking about my father j- and I started drinking in the airport, and that's kind of what led to the incident. It's just, but when I feel like that, uh, you know, I've been going to therapy and stuff like that. Years ago, I started going to therapy, and when I started feeling better, I stopped practicing everything I learned through therapy, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
And, uh, then I felt that feeling again just a- I guess you'd call it depression. Just w- didn't feel well. And when I feel like that, I know I shouldn't drink, and I drank anyway, so you know. Not that my father or anything's an excuse. Obviously, I did what I did. Um, but I knew b- I knew better in the moment when I'm feeling like that to, to, to drink or do anything. You know, alcohol has never benefited me, especially in times like that where I'm mentally not the best.
- 12:41 – 15:44
Living With an Alcoholic Father
- SBSteven Bartlett
You use the word depression there to describe that feeling, to, to give it a word, so let's use that word.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Um, can you paint a picture for me f- in terms of what that actually feels like? That day that you wake up, it's Father's Day, you don't feel good. Like, what is that-
- DPDustin Poirier
No, I, I f- I felt good in the morning. You know, I spent the morning with my, with my kids. My daughter wrote me a letter. She gave me presents, you know, did all the Father's Day stuff. I had a g- a great morning, but then when I left my home to go to fly out, I started feeling it, you know? And, and days leading up to that, it would come off and on, coming off and on, and I would think about, you know, my father, and it would kinda bring me down, but it wasn't s- that bad. But for Father's Day, it just hit me, man. It hit me hard.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Because he's currently homeless.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Here in Louisiana?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Yeah. I actually, man, when I got out of jail in Atlanta and flew back home on that Tuesday, I got back late, maybe Tuesday. Uh, Wednesday morning, I drove to where he, he lives or where he sleeps and, uh, went to the sheriff's office, got in contact with the coroner, had to do a whole process to s- to sign a OPC, order of protective custody. I tried to get them to pick him up against his will and, and all this stuff, and they did, but I went at the wrong time, man. I went early in the morning when I woke up, and when they picked him up, he wasn't disoriented. He was normal, you know? And, uh, so they released him again.
- SBSteven Bartlett
What is the range of feelings and emotions you have towards him at the moment?
- DPDustin Poirier
You know, he's always... It's tough. And I'm not angry at him. I'm, uh... And once again, this isn't an excuse for my actions. You know, my father just came to a head on Father's Day. But, uh, just upset to see him doing this to himself and not getting out of his own way and continuing to let it get just worse and worse progressively over the years when he, when he knows better, you know? When he knows better. I mean, most people when you make a mistake or do s- you try to fix it, you try to make tomorrow better than yesterday. You know, next year better than this year. Everybody just keeps doing the same thing, and that's because he's addicted to alcohol.
- SBSteven Bartlett
What is his story?
- DPDustin Poirier
I wish I, I, I knew more so I could tell you, but been, like, a hard worker his whole life, you know, did whatever. Worked in the oil field for a long time, but, uh, check to check his whole life. Um, simple guy, you know, was a really good athlete in, in school. Got a woman pregnant at a young age in high school, so he couldn't pretin- uh, continue to focus and chase his dreams of playing football. Um, you know, back then when you got a, a girl pregnant, you got married and s- got a job and, and things like that, so that's what he did.
- 15:44 – 18:34
Dustin's Battle With Depression
- SBSteven Bartlett
So that day you wake up, you, you're feeling okay in the morning. It's Father's Day. You start thinking about your father.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You get that feeling that you describe as depression.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Um, which is just, how, what is that feeling? It's feeling-
- DPDustin Poirier
Like a-
- SBSteven Bartlett
For someone that has never experienced it before.
- DPDustin Poirier
You know, I, I've had bouts with depression throughout my career. When it hits me, you know, it hits, it hits me hard. And that day it hit me, it hit me hard, man. You know, going to the airport. It just feels like everything is, has a, its own gravity, and it's gonna pull me towards the negative no matter what it is. It's like a cloud in my, in, in my head that I just can't get out from under it. It, it's hard to explain to you unless you've been through it. That's what I try to tell my wife 'cause she's always so happy and so, you know, which is great. But, like, when I feel like that, and it doesn't happen often, but man, when it hits me, it's bad. You know? It's bad.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you remember the first time you felt that?
- DPDustin Poirier
I don't, but my wife, you know, me and my wife been together a long time, since we were in off and on through middle school and high school and all that. But she, she tells me, "Don't you re-" Yeah. [laughs]
- SBSteven Bartlett
There she is.
- DPDustin Poirier
She tells me, "Don't you remember, like, I've always thought something, you know, you never wanted to be around big crowds. You'd go to all the parties with me when I was younger and do all that stuff." Yeah, because I, I just didn't like to be around that many people that much. You know, I, I... Maybe it was, uh, anxiety I was dealing with. I don't know. This stuff is all new to me, so I'm just... I would tell her how I feel, and she's like, "Don't you remember?"
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh, so she thinks I've been having it, but I started noticing it, you know, more recently in the last years, three, four years.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Wa- was there a catalyst at all, a catalyst moment, something that happened that caused you to feel that or?
- DPDustin Poirier
If I could link it to something, it was I lost a big fight, came back home.
- SBSteven Bartlett
With which fight?
- DPDustin Poirier
My second fight with Justin Gaethje.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Lost that one, came back home, everything was good, and then it would just, I was really emotional, man. You know, some days I would be fine, some days I would be sad, and, and I was like, "Something's off," you know? "Something's off." So that's when I started going to therapy and trying to unpack some of the stuff that I didn't even know I was walking around with, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Did you learn anything through the process of therapy? I've been to therapy too. I've been, I, I mean, it's something-
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, I'm still, the day, uh, I got back from Atlanta, I started going to therapy again.
- SBSteven Bartlett
After the airport incident?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Yeah. Right before I, I went to he- try to help my father, uh, I went through a therapy session. So I had kind of closed the door on therapy when I started feeling good again. You know, but then I'm starting to realize, like, it's not something that you just fix. It's something you have to work on always and, you know. So, and that's, that's what I'm trying to do. You know, since for the last week I've been waking up early Reading some stuff, writing, doing something hard in the morning. Just trying to do everything that I was doing that made me feel better three years ago. And I'm trying my best, man.
- 18:34 – 22:48
What Therapy Taught Dustin About Himself
- SBSteven Bartlett
Have you learned anything about yourself through the process of therapy?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. That maybe some, some of the childhood stuff I'm still carrying around. I don't think about it, you know. It's not like the first, you know, but-
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's unconscious, a lot of it, right?
- DPDustin Poirier
Right, right, right. But deep down, I'm still carrying things, I think, from my childhood. And everybody... You know, I've learned a lot through therapy. Everybody deals with different emotions and process things differently, and... Man, I'm still going through it, you know. I'm back in therapy now.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I, I've, I've been able to interview lots of people, and so I've interviewed, like, psychologists, lots of them. So many therapists I've interviewed. And one of the, the things that I noticed, which was quite stark to me, was that, um, young boys in particular that grow up without a stable father figure are much more likely to be, um, have anger issues, be depressed, struggle in life. But it's actually, the, the data skews more towards young boys without that sort of stable fa- father figure. Um, but also that if you compound that with there being violence in the home from a young age, that's also another factor which exacerbates the situation worse. So those are sort of two of the things that stood out to me, was the absence of your father. Also, having a, a father or a parent that's dealing with addiction-
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm
- SBSteven Bartlett
... is another burden for so many reasons. So those key three things are the things that from your story and from, you know, I've, I always thought, oh, that's, those are, um, those are challenges that are understandable to stay with you as a, as an adult.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, for sure. And it, and you don't even think about, think about them at all throughout your whole life, and then you sit down with somebody and start opening things up and talking about things. You say, "Oh, well, maybe I could be, you know, this could be linked to different things, and I could be carrying stuff that isn't mine to carry and, and things like that." You know, as I'm growing up and being more mature and talking and speaking to pe- with professionals and stuff, I'm starting to unpack some of that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And was that difficult to do?
- DPDustin Poirier
Therapy?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, man. Yeah. You know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Difficult to even say, isn't it?
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. And even at the beginning, when I first started doing interviews like Ariel Helwani and stuff, and I would bring it up, like I'm, you know, I'm working on myself, I'm going to therapy, I... It felt weak in the moment. Like, who am I? Like I'm, I'm going through therapy. I'm telling the world I'm going to therapy. But then I, I look at it hindsight, I'm like, "You know what? That's, that's strength." Uh, you know, especially in a tough guy sport.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
You know, we're fighting and bleeding and beating each other up, beating the best guys up in the world, you know, fighting the best guys in the world, and I need to go to therapy [laughs] to unpack some stuff. It just, it's crazy. The human mind is, is incredible.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's funny 'cause we go to the gym, right? And we, like, work on our physical-
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
... uh, performance. But going to therapy, isn't we gotta hide that? It's like [laughs]
- DPDustin Poirier
And the gym was p- a part of therapy for me. Fighting was a part of therapy f- you know, for me. And, uh, and I always w- always was scared of that. You know, what am I gonna do to, to sabotage myself when I, when I retire from fighting? 'Cause I don't have this outlet anymore, you know. I've done it for 20 years of fighting. I always had somewhere to go, you know. I always had a, to get better at the gym, to d- to work on fighting, to focus on something. Every day I could get up and push myself to try to be better, to answer a new question, to do anything with fighting to get better. On multiple levels, whether it's the techniques or whether it's my, my physical fitness, anything, there was always something to work and, work on, always. And when I retired, I was kinda worried about that, like how will life look post-fighting, you know? Um, I was scared of it. I was scared of it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Because, I mean, you've been fighting since you were, what, 16, 17?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you're 37 now, so it's just over two decades that fighting has been your kinda north star and your orientation.
- DPDustin Poirier
It was always there for me. Always there for me. You know, no matter what was going on, I could go to the gym and drown out any noise in my brain, any, you know, quiet that voice in your head. And I was scared to not have that anymore. And I, I still have it. I can still go to the gym every day if I want, but it's not the same. You know, it doesn't feel the same.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It doesn't feel the same.
- DPDustin Poirier
Not being on the mats preparing to fight someone for your life and your family's wellbeing in front of the world. If I'm just training just to spin my wheels, it doesn't feel... I've done this my whole life, training. Still fun. I have fun. You know, we do whatever, train, but it's not, it doesn't feel the same to me anymore.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Because there's not a goal-
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah
- SBSteven Bartlett
... a big goal at the end of it to focus your being.
- DPDustin Poirier
Exactly.
- 22:48 – 23:48
Was Fighting an Escape From Emotional Pain?
- SBSteven Bartlett
When you look through the last 20 years, do you, do you see fighting as a really productive distraction in some respects then?
- DPDustin Poirier
For me, yeah. For me, 100%.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Why?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, it was an outlet. It was something to focus on. It was something to try to be the best at. It was... It consumed me, man. It consumed me. Fighting was my entire life, and now post-fighting, it's like separating myself from the fighter is, I'm tr- I'm trying to figure it out still. You know, a, a buddy of mine told me the other day, a, a wise man told him, "If you're lucky, you die twice. If a man's lucky, he gets to die twice." And that's kind of what I'm going through right now. Now that, that makes sense to me, you know. That part of me that every day wake up, push yourself to be the best fighter you can be is dead. You know, I'm, I'm retired Dustin now. I'm businessman Dustin. I'm fa- I was, I was a father before when I was still fighting, but I have other things, other hats to wear, you know. It's just, I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it all out.
- 23:48 – 26:51
Why So Many Retired Athletes End Up in Trouble
- SBSteven Bartlett
And it's only been 11 months.
- DPDustin Poirier
A year. Not even a year.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
July 30th, wasn't it, last year that you retired.
- DPDustin Poirier
Here in this, in New Orleans.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do, do they offer you any support with that retirement process?
- DPDustin Poirier
As far as?
- SBSteven Bartlett
As far as y- uh, giving you a r- like a roadmap for how to deal with the-
- DPDustin Poirier
No
- SBSteven Bartlett
... mental shift.
- DPDustin Poirier
No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
There's no, like, sort of post-fighting program.
- DPDustin Poirier
No, there, there should be. For sure there should be, but no.
- SBSteven Bartlett
'Cause it's quite a familiar story across sports.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right, and that's what I was always, when I would see it happen, I knew, I was like, "I'm never gonna be that," you know? I'm never gonna be the guy that Goes and gets arrested or gets hooked on drugs or just blows all of his money and just, you know, you see it over and over and not just in fighting, in professional sports, you know. It's like you've done something s- so long your whole life, so intense and so, you know, takes all of you. When it's gone, it's like, what else can I do to the maximum? What else dopamine hit can I get? What can I just pour myself into and go crazy on something, you know? And a lot of times it's bad things, dangerous things. You know, you see it time and time again, and I always said, "I'll never be that guy." And I'm not. You know, I ran into some trouble the other, the other week, but I'm still making a lot of right decisions, you know what I mean? I'm not that. It just sucks to be at this point to where I always saw those guys getting arrested and doing stuff, and I was like, "Man, what an idiot. What an idiot," you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
But I wasn't going through it then. I didn't understand it at that time.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And alcohol has been a, a constant through your childhood, through your career.
- DPDustin Poirier
For me drinking?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
No, I mean, I-
- SBSteven Bartlett
When you were younger
- DPDustin Poirier
... ce- celebrate... W- when I was younger, probably every weekend, you know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
But as I became an adult and focused on fighting, I went years without drinking.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, okay.
- DPDustin Poirier
And then even now, well, as I... W- when I retired, it slowly became more and more and more because I didn't, not have... You know, when I was in training camp, I wasn't getting drunk and, and drinking like that. I had to wake up the next day and run miles and be at the gym and make a weight, and I was really focused. Um, but when I retired, I didn't have to anymore.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
So then it kind of started slipping back in. And even when I was fighting, you know, celeb- celebrations, gatherings, I would drink. I would drink. But it wasn't a weekly, it wasn't a weekly or daily thing. But I've always had a bad relationship with alcohol. Like I've always, 90% of the times if I do drink, I'm gonna drink to be the best at drinking.
- 26:51 – 28:28
Why Dustin Chose to Get Sober
- SBSteven Bartlett
I sat here with, um, a lady called Dr. Anna Lembke. She's like a dopamine expert.
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And I actually didn't really know until she, she sat here and explained it to me that, um, alcohol gives you a big hit of dopamine.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
She also said to me that, um, sort of genetically, person to person, we all have a different vice. So for example, she said that she got addicted to erotic novels.
- DPDustin Poirier
Huh.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Now, another person would never get addicted to that. Um, some people's vice is alcohol, so they, they do what y- you describe, which is they have one, and then it's just straight line up until-
- DPDustin Poirier
Right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Other people, like they can have one or two or three and it kind of plateau and they stop and they go home.
- DPDustin Poirier
And I, and I envy them. You know, I have-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
My wife is like that. One of my good buddies is like that. They can have two drinks and be done. If I drink, we're drinking till the bottle's gone, you know. That's... No matter how many times in my life I've said, "It's gonna be different this time. It's gonna be... You know, I'm only gonna have two," it do- it, it's never, never worked out. So coming back home, talking to my wife and stuff, uh, I'm gonna cut alcohol completely out of my life. You know, I made that decision. I'm not gonna be like my father or make another mistake like I made in the airport. It's just, it's not helping me in any way. You know, it might be a quick release and a quick hit of dopamine, but it's not benefiting me in, in any way. So I gotta cut it out, cut it out from my life.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's not an easy thing to do.
- DPDustin Poirier
With socializing and things like that, it's, it's, it's tougher to, to be the sober one.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
But in everyday life it's, it's not hard-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah
- DPDustin Poirier
... for me. You know, I've, I've never been an alcoholic. I just have a bad relationship if I do drink. So cutting it out completely is, you know, not a big deal.
- 28:28 – 31:11
What Dustin Was Doing Before the Airport Incident
- SBSteven Bartlett
So, so take me to that day then. You wake up, you go to, you go to the airport, you're flying to Atlanta. You're going, you're going somewhere. Where are you going?
- DPDustin Poirier
Atlanta. I'm going to, uh, to South Florida. It was actually a three-leg trip. I was supposed to go to South Florida for a day, that afternoon fly out, go to LA.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
Shoot a commercial for three days. From LA, Vegas, work for CBS for the weekend, and then fly home. So it was a three... It was a-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, big trip.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, a three-leg trip. We didn't, we didn't even get the first leg. [laughs] We didn't even get the first leg, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
There should be a button just down below here, and if it says subscribed, you're already subscribed. If it says subscriber, that means you're not yet. And if you're not subscribed, please could you do us a favor and hit that button. It helps the show more than you know, and according to the algorithm, you're someone that watches our show, but you haven't yet hit that button. Thank you so much. What happened? What were the sequence of events?
- DPDustin Poirier
On my flight from Lafayette, Louisiana, I drank two champagnes. Nothing crazy, you know, just, um, landed in Atlanta, had a little bit of a layover, went to a bar, restaurant bar, started drinking champagne. Some guys came in, took some shots. One thing led to another. Go to my gate, get into it with the desk agent. They call security, call the police.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you remember what you said to the desk agent?
- DPDustin Poirier
No. No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Did, the police didn't tell you after?
- DPDustin Poirier
No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So you didn't even get on the plane?
- DPDustin Poirier
No. I never got on the plane, I don't believe. I'm pretty sure. 90, 90% sure I never got on the plane. Um, and it might've been that. The desk agent might've s- saw I was intoxicated and was like, "No, you can't get on this plane," and that's might've what started it. I don't know. But I do want to apologize to those desk agents, whoever they are, and the police for having to put up with me, man. They did a... I actually Uh, asked a lawyer in Atlanta who I've been working with if he can please get me that officer's information, his address. I wanna, if I can write him a letter or his cellphone, if I can call him, just to tell him how great of a job he did, you know, dealing with an, a person in that condition and how professional he was and, you know, he's incredible. It could've been so much worse. It could've been so much worse. I just wanna thank him. I didn't get to do that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So there's some kind of argument with the desk agents that you, I'm guessing you can't recall.
- DPDustin Poirier
No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And then they say you're not getting on the flight.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And then-
- DPDustin Poirier
That leads to them calling-
- SBSteven Bartlett
The police
- DPDustin Poirier
... the security or police-
- SBSteven Bartlett
And
- 31:11 – 34:22
Dustin Reacts After Watching the Airport Video
- SBSteven Bartlett
the video-
- DPDustin Poirier
... at the airport
- SBSteven Bartlett
... what video we see is of the security guy coming in.
- DPDustin Poirier
The police officer, yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You've watched the video, right?
- DPDustin Poirier
No. So my wife watched it. A buddy of mine wa- I've kinda pieced it together at this point. I don't wanna see it, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You don't wanna see it?
- DPDustin Poirier
I don't wanna see it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Okay.
- DPDustin Poirier
I don't wanna see it. Even when my wife started playing it and I heard it, she went and watched it in the other room. And then I have a buddy I work out with five days a week.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
He's kinda, uh, between him and my wife I've put the pieces together and pretty, pretty much know the extent of what happened.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Why don't you wanna watch it?
- DPDustin Poirier
I just don't want, don't wanna see it, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Can you articulate why that is?
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh, to see myself in that condition, disrespecting police officers, disrespecting, uh, workers at the airport, disrespecting myself, dispe- disrespecting my family, I just don't feel like it's gonna benefit me to see that. If anything, I think it's gonna bring me down and it's gonna, I'm gonna keep thinking about it. Uh, I, I, like I said, for the most part, understand what happened, know what happened. I don't need to see it again, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
So in that video you, you seem to get aggressive quite quickly, and you, you offer this, um, gentleman a fight. Um, he kinda backs off. He knows who you are, clearly-
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm
- SBSteven Bartlett
... straight away. He backs off. What I find i- interesting also is he pulls out his taser. He's gonna, he says, you know, he might tase you, but as you walk away and you're arrested, you dap him up and you, you, you congratulate him on the job he did.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, my buddy was telling me that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs] Which-
- DPDustin Poirier
He, he, he was telling me, like, his-
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs]
- DPDustin Poirier
My buddy's wife thinks that's the best part of the video.
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs] It's the best part. Because it's funny because you're known as-
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, so I didn't watch the video at all.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
And I, every day passing I'd be able to piece a little bit more together and memories kind of, you know, flashes of what happened are kind of playing in my head. But, uh, I, I got home, deleted all my social m- I posted that on Instagram, then I uninstalled all social media off my phone. So I haven't, since Father's or the day after Father's Day, I haven't been on anything. I haven't seen... I know they're making fun. I know they're talking about me. Ob- obviously I've been in the light with being a professional athlete for a long time. I know how this goes. Um, so I just uninstalled all my stuff. So I haven't seen any of the clips, any of the videos, any of the, anything, you know, besides what my wife and my buddy are t- are telling me.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Your buddy that you train with?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- 34:22 – 35:45
What Charges Did Dustin Face?
- DPDustin Poirier
good.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You, so you went to jail that day.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You got charged with being drunk and disorderly or in- intoxicated?
- DPDustin Poirier
No, they, they charged me with, uh, public intoxication.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Okay. And they let you go the same day?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, I spent like a night, spent the night or the afternoon in jail until I sobered up.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And they released you on probation or something?
- DPDustin Poirier
I'm not on... Well-
- SBSteven Bartlett
What's it called? I don't know what the laws are here.
- DPDustin Poirier
I haven't been to court and all that stuff yet, so they just know that on bond.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Okay. On bond, okay. And that's when you go and, you know, after then go and you do the therapy session, you go and try and find your father.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
All these trips are canceled I'm guessing at that point.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You have to go home and speak to your, your wife.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. Right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Can't be easy.
- DPDustin Poirier
It wasn't fun, for sure, you know, to let her down and it's just been so long since I... I don't even know how to address it really when I, when I got home. I'd, I haven't been in trouble, I haven't been arrested in so long, you know, decades and decades. I don't, I don't even know when's the last time I got arrested. This is the first time in a, in a very long time. But to go back and my, my partner who's been with me through everything and, and has grown with me through everything, to go back and, like, see her face to face, yeah, I just keep apologizing and it'll never happen again.
- 35:45 – 38:49
The Difficult Conversation Dustin Had With His Wife
- SBSteven Bartlett
If I'm a fly on the wall during that conversation when you get home, what, what do I observe?
- DPDustin Poirier
Me telling her it'll never hap- never happen again, and her telling me it can't happen again, you know? Um, yeah, man. Telling her that I'm gonna focus on myself and, and be better from this. I know it sucks right now in the moment, but this decision, this arrest, this quit drinking for, for the rest of my life is gonna benefit me and my kids in the future, so things happen, you learn. Um, and that's just what it is, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
You met her, Jolie, when you were 14 years old?
- DPDustin Poirier
Younger.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Younger, really?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, 14 is, is like a freshman in high school.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
We were dating, uh, in middle school.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And in many respects she's really, um, she sacrificed quite a lot for your-
- DPDustin Poirier
A lot, man
- SBSteven Bartlett
... career.
- DPDustin Poirier
A lot. She dropped out of college and moved with me to South Florida, uh, for me to chase my dreams.
- SBSteven Bartlett
'Cause she was going to nursing school, wasn't she?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Yeah. And I honestly don't think I would've made it to the point I made it to in, in fighting if I didn't have an anchor like that at home, you know? Man, she's been my best friend for a long time. Yeah. So, so to go home after getting arrested and speaking to her and, like, not only did I let myself down, but I have a family, you know? I have kids. Uh, I let my family down, man. That's what hurts.
- SBSteven Bartlett
This is another beautiful photo.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
The gang.
- DPDustin Poirier
That's them. Yeah, man, I let them down, let myself down. But like I said, I'm gonna learn from this and continue pushing forward and it will never happen again. Um, it's gonna affect the trajectory of my whole life, this one, this one arrest, y- you know? My, my son and my daughter is never gonna grow up and see me intoxicated. They're never gonna see me say things or do things I don't mean to do or mean to say, you know? So, like I said, it sucks, man. It's, it's bad. Uh, but it's gonna benefit me and my family in the long run, so it's just something that had to happen, I guess.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So she, did she know what had happened before you got back from jail? Had she seen the videos or-
- DPDustin Poirier
No. No, no, no.
- SBSteven Bartlett
She hadn't? Okay.
- DPDustin Poirier
No. Well, the police officer called her-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... when I was in, uh, in the holding cell and stuff, so yeah. She knew what was going on. She didn't know in the moment. She probably knew a couple hours after, you know, once they booked me and all that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- 38:49 – 43:11
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- SBSteven Bartlett
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- SBSteven Bartlett
You sign up, and you schedule your tests. And once you're done, you get a little report like the one I have here. I can see my in-range results, my out-of-range results, and there's a little AI function, too. So if I have any questions about my out-of-range results, I can just go in there and ask it any question I want. And these tests are backed by doctors and thousands of hours of research.
- SBSteven Bartlett
[page flips] It's $365 for a yearly membership. Go to functionhealth.com/doac and use the code DOAC25 for $25 off your membership. [page flips] What's interesting is, um, you know, we've seen these kind of incidents happen before, but I've, I've never seen such a large amount of people understand. You would expect the reaction to be, from the general public, from fighters, from people at large, to be, "Oh my God, this is a bad person." But I think because you've conducted yourself in a certain way throughout your career, that wasn't the sentiment.
- DPDustin Poirier
I'm not seeing what people are saying.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, it wasn't the sentiment, I can tell you.
- DPDustin Poirier
All right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It was like, it was, it was crazy. I was like... I was saying it to my fiancée. I was saying, like, the reason why the sentiment has been, "He's going through some things, and this is a good man," is because, A, you've conducted yourself so well throughout your career. You've had good values in victory and in, and, uh, a- and in loss. But also I think because you've actually spoken about some of these struggles publicly.
- DPDustin Poirier
I've never bit my tongue. I've always been open, you know, about what I'm going through. When I was able to pinpoint and talk about what I was going through-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... when I didn't know, I couldn't speak on it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
But as I got older and started doing therapy, I'm able to speak on it. And yeah, I am going through s- things at some, some days, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
Um.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, that's what I'd say to you is, uh, I know you've not looked at the internet, but the internet has been he- heavily supportive of you.
- DPDustin Poirier
And you know, my, I think a lot of that probably is longtime fight fans and people who've been following my career a long time. You know, I grew up in fighting, so people got to watch me from a kid, you know, grow up, so they, they know my character for the most part.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
It was a bad day. It wasn't, you know, it's not a bad life. I had, I, I messed up. I had a really bad day where I was angry at the world, and obviously alcohol doesn't, doesn't help that. And, uh- I really messed up. But people have seen me year after year, and I, I mean well, and I really mean it, and I think they, they know it's authentic and... But I am just a human being, and-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm
- DPDustin Poirier
... I make mistakes. So I think those fans, if people are sticking up for me, it's because they, they know, uh, it's Dustin. Like, I'm gonna- he's gonna shake back, or he, he's gonna, you know, turn this into a positive somehow. And that's my goal. You know, I don't wanna let anybody else out there down. I'm trying my best. You know, I, I have to take care of myself first, and I'm doing that, the right steps, and that's, that's just it. I think the people who are standing up for me have watched me grow up, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well,
- 43:11 – 46:35
Why Viral Clips Rarely Tell the Full Story
- SBSteven Bartlett
uh, dare I say, I think that was the majority of the sentiment, was that this is a, a good, a good man who's, who's struggling, and it was people sending sympathy because, because of that, but also because there's a couple of clips that went viral online of you speaking on both Theo Von's show and Joe Rogan's show. And so in the, in the, in the wake of, you know, this clip going viral of you in the airport, these other clips go viral with them, which is you-
- DPDustin Poirier
I haven't seen it, so...
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, you haven't seen it? Okay.
- DPDustin Poirier
I mean, obviously I did the, I did the interviews or whatever you're talking about, so I said it, so I'm sure if you showed it, I would remember, but I haven't seen what people are talking about.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, this clip went viral at the same time, and this is what gave it context.
- DPDustin Poirier
Have to. Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You just, there's no... If you get complacent or if you... Why, what-
- DPDustin Poirier
I'm, I'm like a... It's honestly, bro, I'm a danger to myself when I'm, I have nothing. No, no goals circled on my calendar, I'm a danger to myself, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Like-
- DPDustin Poirier
I beat, I beat myself up mentally. I s- I'm home, I drink. I'm... It's just not good. I have to have some kind of battle.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
And I've always been like that, but like as I'm getting older, I'm kind of recognizing.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, you can see it more.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, so I kind of set, set goals, so I s-
- SBSteven Bartlett
So that clip went viral.
- DPDustin Poirier
Have to.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And there was a, a clip just like it, um, of you on Joe Rogan, which is you saying almost identically the same thing.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Which also went viral with it. So this gave everybody context. And so you see that and you go, "Okay, we understand." And I think we're now, you know, we're old enough and mature enough to understand that once a pro athlete leaves the high octane, high adrenaline sport like UFC, that your brain has changed.
- DPDustin Poirier
For sure.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And not least because of the dopamine, but also, you know, there's other reasons why. There's, there's, head injuries are quite prevalent i- in the sport. So there was a huge amount of sympathy. I just wanted you to know that 'cause I know you've not seen it, but.
- DPDustin Poirier
But I mean, I still feel horrible, but it... You know, and not even using fighting or head trauma or my homeless father or any of that stuff as an excuse. I just want to say that, like, I did these things. I know better. I know right and wrong. I don't want to lean on these as a crutch of, of my actions, you know what I mean?
- SBSteven Bartlett
And the other, the other clip that went, just so you know, just so, 'cause of these, this is you and Joe Rogan talking about a similar thing.
- DPDustin Poirier
On the show, what I was talking about, it's like a gift and a curse, man. It's like you have to be all in at something. Those kind of people who are built like that-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... whether it's fighting or drinking or whether it's good or bad-
- 46:35 – 48:29
Dustin Responds to Jon Jones' Viral Post
- DPDustin Poirier
my best.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Were you aware that Jon Jones had, had done a post and stuff and-
- DPDustin Poirier
My buddy Kyle said, the guy who I work out with every day I was talking about, he told me that Jon Jones came out and said something, and it was positive.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
He said, uh, Matt Brown as well, a f- a former fighter, did a video. He said it was really nice and stuff. And I'm sure I'll see some of that stuff. I don't wanna like, you know, relive the moment that much. I don't wanna keep-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm
- DPDustin Poirier
... like diving back. But when I do get back on social media or do start watching videos and stuff again, I'm sure I'm gonna see s- some of it, you know. And I appreciate everybody, but I, I'm, I just f- it feels weird to... You know, I'm, I'm not looking for, for that, for sympathy or for, to make this okay. It's not okay, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
You know? It's not.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But I, I think the reason I'm sort of really keen to tell you is once upon a time we didn't really understand mental health. And so people were thought to be crazy or whatever when they acted out of character.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But I think the world has gotten to such a place now where we, we think about context a bit more. And this was really, it was really nice to see for me, um, having done a little bit of background research as well, to see that people's first reaction wasn't just to villainize somebody.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It was to understand. People actually went, "Oh no, this is someone struggling with their mental health. It's not a bad person, it's a bad mental health situation." Um, which I've actually not really seen before, which was, as I say, it was really nice. But I know you, I know what you're saying. You're saying you, you don't wanna blame anything.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. I don't wanna blame anything or have a crutch to lean on ab- about my actions or about what happened. You know, I did it. You know, I'm not, not blaming it on mental health or anything like that, even though I'm focusing on that now. You know, I, I did, I did that. I decided to drink that day when I wasn't feeling well. It's, it's all on me.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So
- 48:29 – 52:16
Why Dustin Says His Mental Health Still Fluctuates
- SBSteven Bartlett
is it kind of a bit of a rollercoaster i- in your world post-fighting in terms of your mental health?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Is it ups and downs and ups and downs?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Big time.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And what, what is the-
- DPDustin Poirier
Some days I wake up and I feel like I made the right decision, you know? Uh, I need to be home. I need to be doing things around the house. I need to be here every day with my kids, making them breakfast. And then some days I wake up and I'm like, "What the fuck am I doing? I can beat all these guys still. You know, I can still beat these guys." But I don't know if that ever i, it leaves. I might be 60 year old having coffee one day saying the same thing. I could beat these guy- I don't know if that's just a competitive spirit. I don't know if that's just fighting your whole life. I don't, I don't know. But I, these top guys that are winning now and, and fighting now on these upcoming cards, I can, I can beat them still. I know I can. And then I wake up the next day and I'm like, "Ah, good thing I don't have to fight these guys anymore." [chuckles] Then the next day it's like, "Fuck, I can, I can be the world champion." You know? It's just, just up and down every day.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And how does your, your mental health sort of correlate to those ups and those, um, thoughts?
- DPDustin Poirier
Even though I have those days where I wanna fight and I think I made the right decision, my mental health has been pretty e- even, you know. Up until recently, I, I haven't been worried about myself or having to go to my journal and sit in the morning and have coffee like I've been doing this last week, you know? But I ... When I do start feeling 100% normal, okay again, I need to continue to do those things, you know? I can't, I can't stop because I feel good. It's, it's a constant. It, it... Something's going on with my brain. Like, I have to practice these, these things every day. And now being removed from the incident, removed from my three years ago when I felt really bad and I was in a dark place, I'm realizing that. Like, it's, it's n- not a eureka moment where you're fixed. You gotta... This is everyday work for the rest of your life most likely, I, I'm pretty sure.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Was it just the last week or was it, you said in recent times.
- DPDustin Poirier
In recent times, that was like the, the boiling point on Father's Day. Um, but there's been days, yeah, there's been days where I've not s- expressed to my wife how I'm feeling, and I was feeling down or-
- SBSteven Bartlett
The last two months.
- DPDustin Poirier
Couple, few months, yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Last couple of months.
- DPDustin Poirier
There's, there's good days, bad days, you know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Where you haven't expressed to your wife how you're feeling?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. Some days I will tell her, but s- some days I, I don't. You know? I just continue to go along my day and, you know. So I don't wanna be that guy to where I wake up and my wife's worried about how I'm feeling that day. Wa- you know, I don't want her worrying about me like that. I wonder who, [sighs] who's waking up today is, is depressed, is upset Dustin waking up today, or is this my normal husband I'm waking up to? I don't want to worry her. So some days, you know, if I'm feeling really bad, which hasn't been that often l- lately, I'll tell her I'm, you know, today I'm not feeling that well. I don't want my daughter coming in the b- in the bedroom, you know, "Why is Dad staying in bed all day?" You, you know, I don't wanna tell her again that I'm not feeling good today. You know, she doesn't understand. I have a, she's about to be 10 years old. She, she can't comprehend what's going on. I can barely comprehend it, you know? So to keep them more on a steady day-to-day thing, if, if it's just slightly I'm kinda feeling a little bit off today, I just suck it up and go about, you know, my business.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But there will be days where you s- you stay in bed all day.
- DPDustin Poirier
There has been, yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you try and sort of a- avoid the conversation with, like, your daughter.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. It's not, it's not often, but it happens, yeah.
- 52:16 – 53:59
The Hidden Cost of Bottling Up Your Emotions
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you find that if you don't talk about it, it kinda comes out in other ways? 'Cause I find that weird.
- DPDustin Poirier
Well, you bottle it up so long till it finds a way out, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Which kinda brings us to the airport incident, I guess.
- DPDustin Poirier
Could, could be.
- SBSteven Bartlett
To some degree.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. But even the airport incident, those days leading up, even if I did have an off day, uh, I didn't feel like it was that, that bad, that serious, that dangerous to myself or anybody else. You know, I, I really didn't feel like that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm. It's an interesting thing. I've, I've often actually contended with when I'm having, like, bad moments, do I tell my partner, so I can really relate to the feeling. 'Cause in part, I think as a, as a man sometimes you wanna be, you have it within you that you need to be strong and steady. Especially with, like, my fiancée, I'm like, I have, I have to be strong and steady, so if I'm having a bad day or whatever, I, I feel like I have to keep it to myself. But then it always finds a way out.
- DPDustin Poirier
[laughs]
- SBSteven Bartlett
And it hurts her.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Like it'll hurt the relationship. So actually I've, I think with w- with age I've gone, actually, to avoid all problems, be honest as fast as you can.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's like-
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. Yeah. Honesty is always the best.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
It's always the best.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Is that kinda how you feel as well with it, or is it similar or different?
- DPDustin Poirier
I mean, for the most part I, I am really open and honest, but, like, if I'm just kinda s- feeling off, and it's ha- for me to... I know you don't understand what that, what that means, or maybe you have something you can link it to when you feel kinda just like-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... today's not-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... not my day. If I'm feeling off, I'll let her know. I've been pretty honest. But like I said, if it's just slight, like I'm just not feeling right, I won't... If it's slight, I won't e- I won't even bring it up. I gotta be a dad and continue to do things every day and stuff like that. But if I'm feeling really down to where I don't even wanna leave the house at all and stuff, you know, I'll, I'll let my wife
- 53:59 – 55:07
How Dustin Is Finding Purpose Beyond Fighting
- DPDustin Poirier
know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
On this point of purpose, w- when you were talking to Theo and Joe, it was, you were saying that, you know, the purpose you had for 20 years has now gone, so in its place you, you kinda need to find something else. You need to figure out what, what's in its place.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How are you thinking about that today?
- DPDustin Poirier
I retired at 36 years old. That's young to, you know, like I said, the days are long. I have all day every day to... I need to stay busy, and that's what I w- have been doing, you know, working with CBS, working with, uh, the podcast we have down in South Florida every Monday. I've just been trying to, saying yes to as much stuff as I can so I'm, don't have time to sit back and think. And that could've been my demise as well. Maybe I was being too busy. Maybe I wasn't focusing on my mental health and myself as much. You know, it's easy to get lost in these whirlwinds of busy and be here, be there. You know, it, life just moves so fast sometimes.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you have a plan for, for, for what you wanna commit yourself to? You're 37 now, right?
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So I mean, you got another 50, 50 years ahead of you to, to climb other mountains-
- DPDustin Poirier
Right
- SBSteven Bartlett
... potentially.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. No, I don't have anything locked, like, locked down with what I'm gonna do exactly, what I'm gonna focus everything on, but I need to find something, man.
- 55:07 – 56:44
Can Anything Replace the Feeling of Fighting?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Has there ever been anything that compared?
- DPDustin Poirier
No. Nothing ever will. Nothing. I have a void inside of me that nothing will... You know, being a father is very fulfilling and, and I love it, and it, it's, it's rewarding and I actually enjoy it, but nothing fills that void of what fighting was in my life. You know, I haven't found anything yet. I don't think there is.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You don't think there is?
- DPDustin Poirier
I just don't know what's gonna consume me and take all of myself the way fighting did. You know, I woke up thinking about it. I went to sleep thinking about it. I- it was my life, man. I cared so much about it, man. I was in love with it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You can still play a role in the industry though, no? Like, after you do-
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, and that's what I, and that's what I thought I was, you know, was a good avenue. That's what I was trying to do. That was my goal after fighting, is I wanna stick around the sport, whether I'm on the desk broadcasts or with the podcast. Anything pertaining to the sport where I can talk about it, you know, be around the sport that's given me everything I have and taught me so many lessons in life. I, I just wanna be around it, speaking about it, being on the mats helping younger fighters, whatever, you know? And, and I was doing, and I was doing that when I retired, you know. I'm still doing it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But it's not the same.
- DPDustin Poirier
It's not the same. No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How does it compare as a percentage? Is it 20% the way there, 50% the way there, or?
- DPDustin Poirier
Nah, probably closer to 20. It's not, it's not even 50, no.
- 56:44 – 58:05
What Other Fighters Say About Life After Retirement
- SBSteven Bartlett
Have you spoken to other fighters who have expressed the exact same sentiment, that, like, "Fighting was the, the Mount Everest for me, and I don't know what to do next"?
- DPDustin Poirier
Not really to that e- to that exact point, but other fighters have reached out and said, "Hey, you know, I'm all, I'm all ears if you ever wanna talk about it. I went through it as well. You know, laying the gloves down isn't as easy as you think." You know, people who I look up to have reached out to me and, and, uh, I never took anybody up on it. You know, I never started speaking to other fighters about what they do to get past, and I should. You know, it's all, it's my, my doing, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
'Cause it's not a, it's not a new problem, is it? It-
- DPDustin Poirier
No, this is-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Everyone... Uh, but lots of people have expressed.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. And it's not just a new problem with fighting, it's a new problem I think with a lot of athletes, you know, who've done it for a long time and reached the, the pinnacle and, you know, when it's over, you know, you have a lot of life left to live.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I've heard similar sentiments expressed from some of my friends that were in the military, and then left the military 36, 37 years old, and it's like that was their Everest. That was also-
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm
- SBSteven Bartlett
... the com- camaraderie that they had being in camp and, uh, being in, in- on base and stuff like that, and going away, being deployed, and then they come back and they're a civilian all of a sudden.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. Right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's difficult.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, man. But that's life. Life's difficult. You know, it's just gotta figure something else out.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
You know, gotta figure, solve a new puzzle. It's just, life keeps going.
- 58:05 – 58:44
How the Airport Incident Changed Dustin's Career Plans
- SBSteven Bartlett
You were going off to work when you were caught up in this airport incident.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How are you thinking about work prospects and stuff like that, considering all that swirling around at the moment and all these things?
- DPDustin Poirier
Well, I was worried about losing everything I've been working on, you know. That is a possibility as well, you know. Um, like post-fighting when I retired, all the stuff that I've been doing, all the, the desk work, the, me focusing on getting better at all that stuff, I'm like, "Did I just ruin everything that I, that I was working for?" You know, I don't know yet. It's still too, too early to really have those answers, I think.
- 58:44 – 59:39
Does Dustin Still Have Sponsors?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Have you got sp- like sponsors and stuff like that, or is it just the, your partners where you do guest work and podcasts and stuff like that?
- DPDustin Poirier
No, I have a bunch of sponsors. Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And they've been understanding?
- DPDustin Poirier
Ah, it's kinda murky right now. I think it's still too fresh. I know, uh, one big one isn't a sponsor anymore.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, you lost a sponsor?
- DPDustin Poirier
Oh, yeah, I'm, I'm sure I lost a, a few. I'm waiting to see when the smoke clears who's still with me or not. That day cost me not only embarrassment and embarrassment to my family, uh, it cost me a lot of money too, you know. Uh, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm losing sponsors, I'm losing gigs, and losing things that I had set up, you know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You're losing gigs you had set up in the future as well?
- DPDustin Poirier
We'll, we'll, we'll see. Obviously, the gigs, the three things I was supposed to do that, that week are, are gone, and then a, a big sponsor of mine is gone because of it.
- 59:39 – 1:02:51
What's Next for Dustin Professionally?
- SBSteven Bartlett
And of the, um, of the com- the professional commitments you have coming up, what are those kinds of things that you have? I know you, um, you said in an interview that I watched that you'd reached out to, was it Paramount? To talk-
- DPDustin Poirier
Oh, I work with Paramount, yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
You work with them.
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But you'd reached out to them to say, "Listen, I wanna sharpen my skills as a commentator"?
- DPDustin Poirier
As a desk analyst.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Desk, desk analyst.
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And so you'd reached out to them post, you know, post-retirement because you wanted to get more and more into that. I just thought it was really cool that you proactively reached out to them and said, "Listen, I'm here."
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. "If you guys think that I would be a good fit anywhere on a broadcast or anything, I would love to talk about fighting and talk about this sport as it continues to grow with what I've learned through the two decades of doing it. You know, if, if I can be a voice in this area, please let me do it." And, and they did, you know. And I told them, like, "I'm coachable. I don't have no hard feelings. Like, if I'm doing something wrong, please let me know. I'm very..." You know, 'cause a lot of these other people who work the desk come from a media background or things like that. Of course, we have a lot of fighters, but, who work the desk, but a lot of these other people might not take criticism and coaching as well as somebody who's been coached their whole life. So I d- I'm letting them know, like, if, if there's something I'm doing that- It's not the right etiquette. It's not, if I, if I can do something better, please let me know. Coach me. I'm not, it's no judgment. You're never gonna rub me the wrong way. Please let me know. I wanna be good at this. That's what I was trying to let them know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, it's cool. It's cool 'cause a lot of people, they, they come in with a lot of ego, um, especially if they've been at the, the, the peak of their powers in one profession.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
They kind of don't wanna humble themselves enough to be in an office.
- DPDustin Poirier
Well, this is a whole new thing for me, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
Talking on TV and talking about fights and, and things like that is a whole new thing, so I wanted to learn as much as I can.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you have a contract with them?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And that-
- DPDustin Poirier
I did. We'll see.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, you're worried that it might not be...
- DPDustin Poirier
It could be. Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I guess when something like this-
- DPDustin Poirier
I had a year contract with, with Paramount CBS to work the, the desks for the fights.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Okay. Well, I hope they all stick with you. You know?
- DPDustin Poirier
We'll see. I think on the, in a few weeks I'm back on the podcast, so I know they're bringing me back to the Monday podcast. We talk about fights every Monday.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
In two weeks I'll be back on that, and so we'll see if that continues, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
You, you know, the other thing is you are, you are young. You're 37, I'm 33, and uh-
- DPDustin Poirier
You're young.
- 1:02:51 – 1:04:40
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- 1:04:40 – 1:06:48
Is Dustin Poirier Financially Set for Life?
- SBSteven Bartlett
And this is obviously a bit of a personal question, but it gives useful context, is at 37 years old, you're thinking as a man, you know, "I've gotta provide for my family for the, for the next 30, 40 years potentially." Are you, are you set up sufficiently? 'Cause there's a lot of talk around fighters not getting paid that much in the UFC as well. I mean-
- DPDustin Poirier
No, uh, the career I've had-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah
- DPDustin Poirier
... I don't have to work another day of my life.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Really?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, congratulations.
- DPDustin Poirier
Thank you.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well done. 'Cause a lot of people also, they go out and they, you know, we hear the stories of buying a little too many watches-
- DPDustin Poirier
[laughs]
- SBSteven Bartlett
... or gambling or whatever it might be.
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh-huh. I need to stop gambling. That's what I need to do.
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs] Okay.
- DPDustin Poirier
I told my wife the other day, she was like, she's like, "I just paid some bills. I saw you made another deposit to the gambling thing." I was like, "I can't cold turkey everything."
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs]
- DPDustin Poirier
"Give me one. Let's go one thing at a time." One thing, gambling's a couple steps up on the list. I got some other things I need to stop doing first.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, if you can take care of yourself for the rest of your life, then, you know, all good, right, to, to have fun still.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. Right. Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So a lot of pe- a lot of pe- a lot of fighters, a lot of people generally can't say that when they leave certain sports.
- DPDustin Poirier
But I've, I, I've always, you know, I have a few businesses in, in Louisiana and elsewhere. I've always planted seeds my whole, my whole life. You know, I started investing when I was 23 years old. You know, before I was even making real, real money, I was investing what little I had. I always planted these seeds 'cause I, I knew I couldn't fight forever. It was gonna end any, any... You know, I could get in a car accident and never fight again. It could end any day with fighting. I knew that, so I've always planted seeds to try to have my future taken care of, you know, always, or since a young age.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Smart.
- DPDustin Poirier
Actually, when I was, like, 18, 19, I told my wife, "I'm not, I'm not gonna fight past 35 years old." And I almost hit that mark. I was too young to, at the time when I told her that-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... too young to see the f- you know, full picture and know how my career was gonna play out. But, uh, 36 I, I hung it up. But I told her from a very young age, "35, I lived half my life. I have a whole nother life to live at 35. I can go to college. I can go, I can do, do, be whatever I wanna be. I have a whole nother life to live." So I kinda always angled at 35 to s- to pivot.
- 1:06:48 – 1:14:38
Why Dustin's Farewell Fight Means So Much
- SBSteven Bartlett
And that was the moment.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
That's the moment where you retired.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How does it feel looking at that photo?
- DPDustin Poirier
Man, these are my brothers in this picture, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I can see the emotion in your face as
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, my mother's back there, and I mean, this is my family, you know? All these guys are my family members. It was a special day. And I got to do it in Louisiana. You know, it meant a lot to me.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
It, it really meant a lot to me. [sniffs] Well... Yeah, man, I was just a kid chasing dreams, and it just f- flew by so quick. [sniffs] And I gu- I guess that's a part of me that's ... I, uh, scared for the future, is I don't, I don't know... You know, for 20 years I was dreaming about being the best. I just wanna dream again, you know? I don't know what that dream will be. I just need that in my life, whatever that is. Yeah. Special day, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So many emotions in your face as you look at that photo.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, I'm trying not to tear up, dude.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How come?
- DPDustin Poirier
'Cause it just makes me feel that way, you know? 'Cause I still love it, but I know I need to walk away from it. C- you know, continue walking away from it, but I still love it. And like I told you, it's like a piece of me. Like, those gloves, me putting them on the mat is a piece of myself I left, you know? I've, I really f- truly believe that. You know, I was a kid when I started this, the fight life. You know, it, it taught me how to be a man. It taught me how to do business. It taught me a lot of things about myself. I didn't go to school. Fighting was my, my education, you know? Traveled the world and met people and sat at tables I would've never dreamed of be- you know, sitting at through fighting. Uh, it was a just incredible journey, you know? Uh, but if I can go back in time to when I was a kid, 16, 17, if I could do it again, I would do it again, even knowing everything that, what could be, what damage I could take, I would do it again. That's how fun the ride was. But nobody rides for free, you know? That's why I'm saying I would do it again. The, the damage, the ups, the downs, the unknown. Nobody rides for free. And whether you're working, clocking in at a job, working in a office for the, your whole life, you know, or you're fighting men all over the world, uh, we're exchanging something, you know, for something. So, uh, I would do it again. I'm just glad I got to do it here in Louisiana, you know, where it all started. Yeah. That was special to me.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
'Cause UFC doesn't come here often to Louisiana. The time they came before my retirement was back in 2015, and I fought on that q- on that one as well. To get them to come back here just for my retirement was a big deal. And I'm proud of that, and proud of bringing it back to the city, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
[sniffs] I have a game room at my house, and I have this... The UFC actually sent me a retirement pic- big picture frame with, uh, my wife, my daughter. Their name w- was on the canvas for this fight, and I didn't even know. The UFC printed their names on the, on the canvas of the octagon.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, really? Nice.
- DPDustin Poirier
So they cut them out of the thing, and they have them framed in a, in a nice, uh, shadow box with pictures from the fight and their names and stuff. That was, that was really nice, man. So I have this picture hanging on my wall in my game room in my house. I got, actually, I need to call Mike, this guy here in this, uh, Mike Brown. I need to call him back. He tried to call me, and he's been texting me the last few days. I need to call him back, let him know I'm good, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
I've been silencing every call, you know, not just, not wanting to talk to people since Father's Day. But I need to start, I need to reach back out.
- SBSteven Bartlett
There's a lot in your head, isn't there? That photo seems to have teleported you back in a, into-
- DPDustin Poirier
I'm just thinking, thinking about that night, thinking about the guys in the picture, seeing my mom in the background, you know? My friends. It was just incredible night. And it hurts me a little bit, like, to, to be sitting here talking about getting arrested last week. Like, it feels like such a fall from grace, you know? Looking at this picture, like I was on top of the world i- in this moment. I felt like I did it all the right way, you know? Even had the UFC, uh, play Sinatra, I Did It My Way, when I was walking out the octagon that, that night. And, uh, you know, just, it's life.
- SBSteven Bartlett
That's life.
- DPDustin Poirier
That's life.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's life. It's part of the, um, part of the hero's journey is the, the ups, the downs, the redemptions, the-
- DPDustin Poirier
For sure
- SBSteven Bartlett
... all of it. And everything you teach... You know, it's funny 'cause when I think about your earliest context, it was, in my objecti- uh, subjective view, difficult. It was a real challenge. You got a father that's an alcoholic, the violence in the home, growing up in a, you know, in a working class area, and you rose from that. And look what happened
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, it was beautiful
- 1:14:38 – 1:15:03
Was Dustin's Family Ready for Him to Retire?
- DPDustin Poirier
you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
At this moment in this photo, were your family encouraging you to hang up the gloves?
- DPDustin Poirier
My wife was.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Nobody else in my family, no.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How come?
- DPDustin Poirier
She was pregnant. She was, uh, a couple months away from giving, a few months away from giving birth to my son. Um, I'd been doing it for a long time. We just kinda both knew it was about the time, you know?
- 1:15:03 – 1:18:42
Dustin's Biggest Fear About Brain Damage
- SBSteven Bartlett
You said you were scared because of the, the void of purpose that would be in your life, um, thereafter. But I've also heard you say you were scared of, like, the, the brain injuries that p- fighters often get in the wake of any sort of contact sport.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Uh, I had the, the great privilege, um, of interviewing arguably the world's leader on CTE.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And for people that don't know, um, CTE is a progressive brain disease caused by repeated head trauma, leading to abnormal protein buildup, which lead to brain decline. Older adults with a history of traumatic brain injuries have a 230% greater risk of developing, um, Alzheimer's than those without. Um, 61% of UFC fighters stated they worry about potential long-term brain damage, with, with a good percentage, about 21%, noticing differences in their brain function after their fighting career. And lastly, a 2023 study found that more than 40% of brains from contact sport players who died before the age of 30 had CTE. I, I, I think I heard you say that you were concerned about brain damage or brain trauma from, from fighting.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, pa- part of me laying the gloves down, like I said, with my wife wanting me to, was because she was kinda worried about my behavior a few years back. And I, I went to a neurologist and did a scan with contrast where they put the dye in your brain, in your veins and do all that stuff. And I have, I had some, uh, you know, changes in my brain, but we don't have a passport of-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Before
- DPDustin Poirier
... or throughout the process, you know? We just have a p- a snapshot of right now of my brain. But yeah, the doctor, the neurologist told me that, you know, it has to be posthumous. You can't... You put a chemical in the brain, it releases a protein, you know if you... So we won't know until I pass away, and they study my brain if I, if I have it or not. But the doctor was telling me, like, you know, "Looking at the things you have going on, like, I can't say you have it, but..."
- SBSteven Bartlett
Your wife was noticing different behavior?
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, just, like, emotional and...
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's, it's not a conversation people have a lot about CTE.
- DPDustin Poirier
[laughs]
- SBSteven Bartlett
I actually, I only learned about it about a year ago when I interviewed this person, and I couldn't believe it.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I couldn't believe that, um, athletes that are doing contact sports, kids that are doing American football-
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm
- SBSteven Bartlett
... are, um-
- DPDustin Poirier
And not only fighting, I played football all my youth, you know, as well. So I'm sure my head's been rattled a good bit.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm. I have a brain scan here, which is really for the listeners at home to show them what, what advanced CTE looks like on the brain. But it is these kinda, like, plaques that kinda build up in the brain from contact head injuries, and what the symptoms of that are often mental health disorders. They are, um... And there's a spectrum. Addiction's also sort of, uh, associated with CTE. People sometimes see boxers, for example, slurring their words and such, and that's also within the s- sort of s- sa- same family and category of CTE.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
But, but, but as you say, it's not something you know when you're alive, and they have to post-humously look at your brain and check if you ha- if you have it. And what did the neu- neurologist say, that it was a little bit abnormal?
- DPDustin Poirier
I have, uh, scarring and stuff. Uh, I'd have to pull out my phone and find the, the exact terminology for the parts of the brain. I don't know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
You know, I have a thinning in the back of my brain a- at, at whatever part, and I have a, you have a septum in your brain, like your nose.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
And, um, my sep- septum is, is splitting a, separated a good bit, and the, the neurologist thinks my left and right side aren't communicating as smoothly as they should because of the separation.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And they suspect that that's to do with head trauma?
- DPDustin Poirier
I mean, we don't, we don't know.
- 1:18:42 – 1:19:55
Does Dustin Feel Different After Everything He's Been Through?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you feel different? I know it's a strange question to ask, but have you noticed a- any difference in, in your, in your yourself other than, you know, the differences one would experience when they left a job that was that significant?
- DPDustin Poirier
No. Uh, besides, like, ups and downs with mood and stuff like that. That's one of the, the things I kinda notice. Uh, and all, uh, being honest, like, s- spontaneous decisions, I, I notice. Like, if I'm Like, fuck it, I'll just put $5,000 on this bet right now. Like, just I wouldn't normally do that I, I feel like, but maybe it's just who I am now, I don't know. Or saying, "Fuck it, I'm gonna get drunk as I can right now in the airport," just, you know, I, I feel like that is, like, spontaneous decision-making-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... uh, that I wouldn't normally do, I think. But maybe I would, I don't know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
If we're talking about brain trauma and, like, decisions I made or ways I feel, I'm sure I can draw links to all kinds of stuff, you know? We- I don't even know if it would make sense or would, would be correct, you know? Uh, when you're scrambling for answers, it's easy to, like, draw lines and say, "Well, this is because of that, this is because of that." You know, I feel f- I feel normal. Besides ups and down days and stuff like that, I feel-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... I feel normal.
- 1:19:55 – 1:20:39
Could Dustin Ever Return to the UFC?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Um, so is there any possibility that you ever return to the UFC? If you had to plot it as a percentage.
- DPDustin Poirier
5%.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And since you've retired, has that percentage gone up or down, do you think, progressively?
- DPDustin Poirier
Down, I think.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Down, okay.
- DPDustin Poirier
Down, I think. 'Cause I would have to reinstate... First of all, I'd have to get my wife on board -
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs]
- DPDustin Poirier
... that I'm gonna do another training camp and do this again. Uh, but I'd have to reinstate myself in the drug testing protocol, and I think I'd have to do, like, six months of clean drug testing before I'm eligible to compete again.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
So that would be another six months. You know, it's just a lot of hoops to jump-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... to
- 1:20:39 – 1:23:59
The Latest Update on Dustin's Father
- DPDustin Poirier
j- jump through.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm. And your father. Difficult, difficult, extremely difficult. Um, layers of emotion. It's funny, you know, we've all got people in our li- well, a lot of people have people in their lives where they've watched them struggle with addiction.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
They've tried to help them. They can't make sense of why they won't accept the help, why they won't change. They know they're doing... Like, I've had, it's such a familiar story.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, yeah, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
What's the latest with him?
- DPDustin Poirier
He was, the latest with him is two days ago he was sleeping in his truck, uh, behind a business.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And how'd you find this out?
- DPDustin Poirier
I have a-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, you have a-
- DPDustin Poirier
Dude, when I got, uh, this is Father's Day week. This is a r- my sister sent me this. Somebody who she knows, he was parked, my dad was parked at the, at the park. Um, somebody snapped a picture of him getting out of his car.
- SBSteven Bartlett
He's, he, so he's got his top off. Oh, gosh.
- DPDustin Poirier
No shoes.
- SBSteven Bartlett
No shoes.
- DPDustin Poirier
My sister actually gave him that truck that he's living in.
- SBSteven Bartlett
God.
- DPDustin Poirier
And we're still working, we're still working to, to get something, get him to do something or admit himself. Do, just to help himself, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
- DPDustin Poirier
I mean, that's life. But to see your father like that, you know, it's just like, damn, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's alcohol.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's alcohol.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Does he d- he, does he do other types of drugs?
- DPDustin Poirier
Nope.
- SBSteven Bartlett
No, just alcohol.
- DPDustin Poirier
Never smoked a cigarette in his life, never smoked marijuana, doesn't take pills, like, just alcohol.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
We're trying, me and my sister are trying to... His other, his other kids don't want anything to do with him, but me and my sister are trying to get him right. And my wife's super on board, like, trying everything too to... But if, if he doesn't wanna help himself, we can only do so much, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- 1:23:59 – 1:24:29
Does Dustin Fear Getting That Phone Call About His Father?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Is there part of you that's, that's worried that someday you're gonna get a call and it's gonna say-
- DPDustin Poirier
I've been waiting for months, every day I've been waiting. I know, I've, me and my wife talk about this all the time. Like, every time I get a call about my dad from my sister or something, I'm, like, just waiting for the, you know, waiting for the news. He's not in good health and he's 74, 75 years old. Like-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... no telling if he's eating, and I don't know. You know, uh, every call I was like, "This is the one."
- 1:24:29 – 1:24:56
How Dustin's Mother Copes With His Father's Struggles
- SBSteven Bartlett
What did your mum think about this, about your father?
- DPDustin Poirier
Uh, I mean, as of most recently, she didn't know, she didn't even know that he was homeless. I, I told her recently. After all this stuff happened, you know, I, I explained to her that he's... She's just sorry that I have to deal with this and, you know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
She got remarried and then-
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- 1:24:56 – 1:26:32
What's Next for Dustin Poirier?
- SBSteven Bartlett
[sighs] So what's next?
- DPDustin Poirier
[sighs] Vacation with my family.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Vacation. Where you, where you off to?
- DPDustin Poirier
30, right here in Florida, 30A. Going vacation with my family, sit in the sun with my kids and family, just have a good time, man. Stay off the internet
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
Continue to work on myself
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm
- DPDustin Poirier
Have good mornings
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
That's it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, you know, I know you're not looking at the internet, but I just wanted to let you know that the internet's been really kind. There's a lot of really, really kind people out-
- DPDustin Poirier
You don't hear that too often, so thank you
- SBSteven Bartlett
You don't hear that too often
- DPDustin Poirier
Thank you. Yep. Good to hear.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And that's actually why I wanted to do this interview as well, is in part I just wanted to tell you that. But also I just wanted, uh, I ho- hoped we could be a bit of a platform for people understanding the, like, complicated nature of mental health and purpose and addiction and alcohol, and all these things that through doing this show I've been able to sort of piece together myself. I've probably interviewed 700 people now. You don't find many new things.
- DPDustin Poirier
[laughs] Right.
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's one of the most crazy things I've learned from doing this show is like, oh, fuck, we're all the same.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
We all struggle with the same things at the most fundamental level, you know? So...
- DPDustin Poirier
For sure
- SBSteven Bartlett
You know? And, um, we're all excited to, to see what it is you put your, your great talent and your mentality and your obsession to in the next season of your career, 'cause whatever it is, you know-
- DPDustin Poirier
Thank you, man
- SBSteven Bartlett
... it's gonna be incredible.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. I just gotta find it-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm
- DPDustin Poirier
... and continue doing it and continue working on myself and-
- SBSteven Bartlett
And please be patient with yourself.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah, man. Patience is a virtue I w- I wasn't blessed with, I don't think.
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs]
- DPDustin Poirier
But I'm working on it. I'm working on it every day. Every single day, man.
- 1:26:32 – 1:33:22
How He's Trying to Make the World Better
- SBSteven Bartlett
We have a closing tradition where the last guest leaves a question for the next, not knowing who they're leaving it for. And the question left for you is, "Dear next guest, what are you doing to improve the world?"
- DPDustin Poirier
[sighs] Trying to leave it better than I found it, better... Leave it a better place than I came into with everything I can, you know? [sighs] For the most part, making the right decisions and showing that people do care. Trying to be a good, you know, a person who cares about people and stuff like that. That's what hurts me, too, man, is me doing that, I wasn't, I wasn't myself, you know? I know it's easy for me to say and try to hide behind s- like a drunkenness or mental breakdown and all. I feel like all those are excuses. Like, but that's... People who know me know that's, that's not how I roll, man. I just feel bad about it 'cause that's, my, my intentions are always 99.9% of the time good, you know? And to hear about the video and everything I did and, you know, I just hurt myself, man. Really let myself down. Hard to look in the mirror at times. Uh, but I'm gonna conti- continue doing what I was doing before this happened, you know, leave the world a better place than I found it, man, and teach my kids to do the same.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And in 2018 you did, um, start The Good Fight Foundation.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Um, you and your wife, um, after clearing out your old fight gear and auctioning it off to support Lafayette families, [inhales] you started this foundation and you've actively been involved in, in, in the charity. Um, I, I went on the website and saw you driving delivery trucks and-
- DPDustin Poirier
[laughs]
- SBSteven Bartlett
... packing school supplies in the kitchen. Um, but also I saw the work that you'd done in Uganda, providing kids in Uganda with multiple new water wells as well. And you were, at 30 years old, awarded the first ever Forrest Griffin Community Award, the award presented annually by the UFC to recognize an athlete's exceptional volunteering and charity work.
- DPDustin Poirier
Mm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you didn't have to do that, you know, especially at such a young age, at sort of 28 years old when you, when this all began. And, um, if people do wanna go and check out the foundation, I'm gonna link it below. Um, it's called The Good Fight Foundation. And I looked at the mission statement on the website, et cetera, and it's exactly what this question asks. It's how can you do good for other people in the world that need it.
- DPDustin Poirier
Right. And I've, I truly, honestly, 100% believe I'm doing it, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
I think so too.
- DPDustin Poirier
I'm using, I'm using the platform I built through hard work to benefit as many people as I can, you know? Uh, fighting was gonna benefit me and my family every time I walked to the ring, so why couldn't I, uh, my mindset was why couldn't I stack more on my back and go in with a, a cause and sell everything I wore that night and benefit a family or benefit a person or another organization. I was like, let me stack up as much on my back as I can and keep this momentum going-
- SBSteven Bartlett
[laughs]
- DPDustin Poirier
... um, with the foundation. But when we first started it, it wasn't... I didn't auction off everything I wore to the octagon, and we didn't link it to goals. It was just kinda random. We were packing up my house, moving from Lu- South Florida back to Louisiana.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
And we had all this stuff, and we just saw a news article that a police officer got killed a couple streets where me and my wife went to school, a couple streets away from where we went to school, and he left behind a wife and, and kids. Officer Middlebrook here in, in Lafayette, Louisiana. And we're like, "Well, we're packing up the house. What about all these gloves and fight shorts that you fought in on these big fights? Can we sell it? Maybe we can sell it and donate to his family." And that's what sparked the whole foundation starting. We did it for maybe a year or two, a year and a half, two years just out of my name before we made it a actual nonprofit. We were just eBaying fight-worn stuff and donating it to the food pantry, donating it to this fallen officer's family, and then it turned into a let's, let's keep this going and see if other fighters would get behind this and give it a name so it's not Dustin Poirier does this, it's The Good Fight Foundation, so more people maybe get behind it. And it just kinda organically happened and something I'm very proud of. I mean, in a, in a couple weeks we have the backpack s- back to school drive we do. We do probably 1,300 backpacks filled with every school supply on the school supply list for Louisiana. Uh-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Wow.
- DPDustin Poirier
Yeah. It's-
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's incredible
- DPDustin Poirier
It takes, it takes everybody to make these goals happen, man. Not just the monetary side, but the going in this warehouse and packing every single backpack, 'cause we stretch the dollar with this foundation. You know, we don't have any, paid anyb- everything is... And we try to keep it as minimal as, as possible to keep everything affordable. So we buy bulk backpacks.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm.
- DPDustin Poirier
Break all the pallets down to backpacks, bulk Flash cards, everything that goes in the backpack for the school year, we buy bulk and have to pack every backpack ourselves.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Wow.
- DPDustin Poirier
And, uh, it's something that I really enjoy doing, and I'm happy I have a platform to, to do it and r- raise awareness. And, you know, no kid should go to school without a... That's just one of the things we- we've done annually, but no kid should go to the school without the proper school supplies they need, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- DPDustin Poirier
It's crazy. So just small stuff like that, you know. We're just trying to make a difference.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Well, if anyone wants to donate, you can go to The Good Fight Foundation. Um, I'll link it below, and, uh, they're doing incredible work, so it's a wonderful thing, a wonderful cause. And as you say, you run it in a very lean way so that you can, uh, optimize for doing more and more good. Dustin, thank you so much.
- DPDustin Poirier
Thank you, man.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Thank you so much for being such a class act, and thank you for agreeing to have me interview t- you today. It's a real honor. Um, you're a legend in my eyes for so many reasons, not just because of the man that you are, but because you climbed impossible mountains. And also the way that you conduct yourself after fighting, which is a real... It's really, like, inspiring to me. Um, the values, the integrity, the orientation towards family, towards doing good, and actually to being openly human.
- DPDustin Poirier
Definitely. Definitely am that.
Episode duration: 1:33:22
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Transcript of episode DM2jRSgjy1o
