The Diary of a CEOHow She Built Her Confidence, and Then an Empire with Krissy Cela | E57
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
150 min read · 30,046 words- 0:00 – 2:03
Intro
- SBSteven Bartlett
Honesty really, really matters, and I think much of the reason why I started this podcast was to give the world the much needed honesty it needs, but often doesn't get. You hear success stories that are glamorized and that are over-simplified, but that's rarely, rarely the case. This week's guest will give you exactly that: raw, unfiltered honesty, like you've never heard it before. And in some points, honesty that might make you a little bit uncomfortable. It made her uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable. This week, I'm joined by Chrissie Chella. She's an unbelievable, and in my opinion, heavily underrated entrepreneur, running multiple multi-million pound businesses. She's one of the- the UK's number one fitness creators, athletes, whatever you want to call her. She's an author. Her book is coming out in January. She has a remarkable story, one that starts from very, very humble beginnings as an immigrant that was bullied on the playground in the UK. And what you'll find out about her is inspiring. It's captivating. It's real. One of the most amazing conversations I've ever had on this podcast, and I'm so glad that we can bring you her story in this way, told with total honesty. Without further ado, I'm Steven Bartlett, and this is the Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody is listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself. (instrumental music plays) As I did a little bit of research on you and I got to sort of uncover your story, and I got to stalk you a little bit on social media, um, the more and more that I observed and sort of looked past your Instagram feed, the more I saw a pretty remarkable entrepreneur and business person. And one of the thoughts that came to my mind, and, you know, this podcast is all about speaking your truth and being honest, was this question, which is, do you think that you get the credit you deserve?
- KCKrissy Cela
As an entrepreneur?
- SBSteven Bartlett
That's the question.
- 2:03 – 11:41
Justifying myself as a woman
- SBSteven Bartlett
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, it's not about me. I haven't built a community about me. I've built a community about helping other women.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
And I think that it's never fully been about me, and the credit that I get is seeing other women thrive and succeed and come together. And that, for me, is enough credit. I don't need an award. I don't need someone to say, "Oh my God, you're the best businesswoman in the world." For me, when I see or when I read another woman's story, that for me is enough.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't need anything else. So yeah, I do.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So like, 'cause I was... When I- I was watching some of your stories on Instagram, and you- you run an office, right?
- KCKrissy Cela
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
O- people. You run multiple businesses.
- KCKrissy Cela
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Right? And I typically think that people are very, very quick to arrive at judgment when they see a pretty young lady who's worked out on Instagram, who has a big following, and they t- and this is just being completely honest.
- KCKrissy Cela
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
They tend to come to judgments very quickly.
- KCKrissy Cela
A conclusion.
- SBSteven Bartlett
A conclusion, yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And that- that conclusion and that narrative or that image that they form of that person, I've come to learn, is usually severely wrong.
- KCKrissy Cela
100% it is. And you know, it's funny you say that because I've also been on multiple dates with people, and you know, they see my Instagram following and they automatically assume that, "Oh, it's because you get your ass out. That's- that's- that's why you make money." Or, "It's because you get your ass out, that's why you've built what you've built." And the truth is, if I did that, and if that was the fundamental reason, then I wouldn't have a team of 30 people in one company and build in another company that sells out every time we restock. It goes past being a pretty face or a pretty picture. It goes past being a nice body. It's about the message that you have. It's about what you want to truly, truly put out in the world. And I think if people make that conclusion, it's... Says more about them than it does to me.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How does it make you feel though? And I want you to be really honest here. How does it make you feel?
- KCKrissy Cela
I think... Okay, like, I'm gonna be completely honest.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Please.
- KCKrissy Cela
I think it's one thing to be judged and it's another thing to be judged as a woman. Okay? So why is it that when you see a handsome man, you don't come to the conclusion that he only got what he got because he's handsome? Why is it as a woman, I have to justify myself more, I have to explain myself more all the time? It's draining. I shouldn't have to explain myself. My face, my body, all of this stuff, it's just external, you know? And I think that... Can I swear on this?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Of course you can.
- KCKrissy Cela
(laughs) Oh God.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Of course you can.
- KCKrissy Cela
I was like, "Can I swear?"
- SBSteven Bartlett
I do it all the time.
- KCKrissy Cela
I swear on my YouTube all the time.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah, you're allowed. Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
Some people get offended and I'm like, "Listen, this is- this is who I am."
- 11:41 – 24:36
Building my confidence with the gym
- KCKrissy Cela
it's pretty impossible to, to break me. And when you've broken me, understand that you've really like, broken me down, 'cause it takes a lot now.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Was that, y- we talk about the m- the musta- mustache thing as if it was this kind of trivial thing, but I'm guessing what you're saying is you were bullied in school?
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah, but at the same time, it's not like I was constantly bullied. Like, I think, I don't know, a lot of us go through awkward stages in school-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
... trying to make friends, trying to be with the cool gang, trying to do this, trying to do that. Then you almost become like mean as well, because you're so hurt by everybody else-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm. You transfer.
- KCKrissy Cela
... that you don't ... Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah, yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
So ...I think, you know, like I remember w- walking into sixth form one time and a lot of personal things happened in my life, and no one wanted to be around me at that point. And I just hated everyone around me. And I was full of anger, constant anger and hate.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
You know, and I didn't want to be that person anymore, especially after being cheated on. I didn't want to be that person anymore. And I remember being on the train one day 'cause I used to work in Po- Potters Bar at the time, um, in this little m- men's boutique, like retail shop and I was coming back home, and I remember like the penny dropped and I was like, "I can try so hard to be sexy and cool and all this stuff for other people, but I'm not doing anything for myself." And that's where the quote, "Do this for you," comes from, because I signed up to the gym that day and then I walked straight back out and didn't go back for two months. I'm gonna-
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
Not gonna be- not gonna lie to you. I signed up and I was like, "I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this. I know what to do." Signed up, didn't come back for two months. I was like, "Oh, fuck that shit. I ain't going back. I don't know what to do."
- SBSteven Bartlett
Why didn't you go?
- KCKrissy Cela
'Cause I was scared. I was like, "Who..." I was like, "Who do y- who do you think you are, Krissy, trying to be like a fitness girl? You don't know what you're doing." You know? This was like six years ago. "You don't know what you're doing. Go back home. Relax. All right. Relax. Chill. Go to work. Study. Relax."
- SBSteven Bartlett
At some point you must have changed your mind. (laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah, I did. I did. And-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Evidently.
- KCKrissy Cela
I did. And I was like, uh, "Okay, no, I need to do this." Like, "What am I doing? I'm so lethargic. I'm tired all thetime. I'm not strong." I was never like, um, overweight or underweight. I was just tired all the time and drained, especially mentally. So when I got into the gym, I remember looking at the leg press machine and I was like, "What is this transformer? I don't know what the fuck to do with this machine." And everybody else around me seemed to kind of know what to do. And then there was like men there, and the women were on the cardio machines, and the men were at the weights. I didn't care about the cardio machine. I was so intrigued by the weights. I was like, "Wha- why do men go there? What is it about men that go there and women go there? I want to go there." And I didn't know how to use weights. I didn't know what I was doing. I was training. I didn't have anything. Like no one was on Instagram at the time. No one was teaching the way. Social media has literally opened up a book full of information and free content. And we didn't- I didn't have that at the time I started, you know?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
I didn't know what I was doing.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So how did you...
- KCKrissy Cela
I learned.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... figure it out? You learnt?
- KCKrissy Cela
I just learned. I just was like, "You know what? I'm just gonna do this." And I kind of- I kind of got addicted to the feeling of how completing a workout made me feel. And I started going again and again. And I started learning because-
- SBSteven Bartlett
What was it doing for you, going?
- KCKrissy Cela
It was giving me my therapy.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Therapy from what? From fear?
- KCKrissy Cela
From life. From my reality. From the fact that I was so depressed, uh, with who I was and so angry at the world and everything the world had done to me. And the only time I felt like I could escape was at the gym, which is so crazy 'cause the gym is like a chore for people. It's like, "Oh, I've got to- I've got to fucking train today." But I went there and I escaped.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- 24:36 – 34:01
Growing Apart from my ex
- SBSteven Bartlett
with someone? What are your thoughts on monogamy and-
- KCKrissy Cela
I... Can I be honest?
- SBSteven Bartlett
I mean, (laughs) please.
- KCKrissy Cela
I've-
- SBSteven Bartlett
You never have to ask permission again, to be honest with you.
- KCKrissy Cela
I've never said this ever, and I'm a little bit nervous to say this. But I... When I was with Jack, I thought that that was my person, and I genuinely felt it in my heart, in my soul. I never questioned it once, right? And we grew apart, and that's because a lot of people don't know what was going on behind the scenes. Last year, when I launched Tona Scott with Jack, we had a lawsuit against us, you know? No one really knew about that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
You know, 50 grand in lo- in lawsuits, trying to get our app that we, we built just to be ours, and then build it from the ground up. That's why we had to refurbish and re- and relaunch the programs, because everything is now built homegrown in our offices-
- SBSteven Bartlett
With your technology.
- KCKrissy Cela
... with our technology, right?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
And do you know how much pressure that adds to a relationship?
- SBSteven Bartlett
I can't imagine.
- KCKrissy Cela
And you're going home, and you're like, "What do you mean you didn't do this? What do you mean you didn't do that?" Hating each other, resenting each other, because you think they're to blame. He thinks you're to blame. I think he's to blame, right? And it's going to take a very, very special person to fit into the shoes that Jack left. You know? He is such an incredible man in every aspect, works hard, is caring, is loving, is ambitious. There's... He's everything a woman would want in a man. Unfortunately, we grew apart. And it is unfortunate, because I genuinely loved him and still do love him unconditionally. I'd give him my kidney if he needed it. And it would take someone very, very special and confident to fill that space up. And I'm not gonna hold my breath. Does that make sense? I'm not gonna hold my breath. I'm gonna... You know, let's just see where it goes.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you think it's possible?
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, I think it's possible. I think anything's possible. I just think that it's gonna take someone with a hell of a lot of confidence and someone that understands that I don't need anything else but effort and time from them.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't need your money. I don't need your gifts. I don't need-
- SBSteven Bartlett
So you're saying you think that Jack's shoes will be difficult to fill, and it's almost like you're setting his shoes as the standard of what you're looking for in the future, so it kind of begs the question, well, you've got two feet that fit those shoes perfectly: Jack's. So why isn't he filling those shoes?
- KCKrissy Cela
I think if anyone turns around and says to you that, "I work with my partner, and we run a company of 30 people and hundreds and thousands of su- of subscribers, and you know, an ever-growing company, and we're so in love," I f- I- I li- literally will look at them and be like, "How did you make that happen?" Working and being romantically involved with someone is difficult. Because let me tell you something, when you come home from work, you're coming home from work with the same person. What do you think you're gonna speak about when you get home? Work.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Work.
- KCKrissy Cela
What do you think you're gonna speak about, um, after you have sex?
- SBSteven Bartlett
The sex. (laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
Work. The work.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
I'm being honest. Like, you'll, you live and you breathe your company. Jack is an entrepreneur in himself. Jack is a co-founder. Jack built this with me, right?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
So if I'm going through all those things as an entrepreneur, as a co-founder, he is as well.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I don't know if you're answering the question, Chrissie, 'cause-
- KCKrissy Cela
But I am answering the question. It doesn't work.
- 34:01 – 42:12
I hate talk about my success
- SBSteven Bartlett
And I think this is a soc- a society problem, not you problem. Men aren't like that.
- KCKrissy Cela
No, they're not. (laughs)
- SBSteven Bartlett
Men love coming up on here and, and saying how much money they're making and how much they're killing it and how many X, Y, and Z they've achieved. Um, you don't seem to be as comfortable talking about your success. And I feel like that's a reflection of the society we live in.
- KCKrissy Cela
Uh, uh, honestly, uh, it's not even that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Really?
- KCKrissy Cela
It's me. I'm very awkward with stuff like that. Like, can I be honest? I don't even check my bank accounts. I let my accountant deal with it. I, I rea-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Why?
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't. I've, I think for me, I stay so tunnel vision in the vision.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
So, I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is check my mentions and DMs and go on my community pages in that forum. That's literally the first thing I do.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
And if I start thinking about, "How am I gonna make a billion? How am I gonna do this? How am I gonna do that?" I don't know, it just becomes a bit suffocating to the vision that you have.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, and I was really number-driven at the beginning. Not f- financially, but on Instagram.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Followers and likes.
- KCKrissy Cela
Followers. The more followers, it means I'm amazing. The more likes, it means I'm fit enough to be here, you know? And I got so obsessed, I used to almost, like, not think I was good enough unless I got a certain amount of likes or followers. And I completely lost sight of why I'm doing what I'm doing. You know now, I don't even check the likes I get.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't even check the, the, my statistics. My team do. I don't check it 'cause I don't care. What I care about is that comment that a lady's saying to me, "Oh my God, this has helped me so much. This has made me so confident." That feeds my energy. If I start thinking, "How am I gonna get 100 million? How am I gonna do this?" That will come. I'm confident it will come, but it's not my fundamental, you know, reason.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And it's gonna come by you focusing on something else, right?
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah, I'm focused on something else. And it's not that society has made me feel uncomfortable to talk about my success. It's that I've, you can speak to any of my team, like I just don't care about it.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
Can I be honest with you? Like, I am not thriving to... I don't know. I'm not f- I'm not thriving to have the, the biggest house or the fanciest car. I mean, I even said to you, like, I don't have a fancy car, a fancy house, by the way.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
And you were like, "I don't care."
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
You know? Like-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
... I don't really care about stuff like that. I never ha- I never have been like that. And it's not that I'm trying to be humble. It's like I literally don't give a shit.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't care about a fancy car, never have done.
- 42:12 – 47:58
Are you hard to date
- KCKrissy Cela
shit. Yeah, I think so. I think I am. I'm not gonna lie. Like, okay, so here's the thing, right? I'm super loving. When I'm with you, I'll do anything for you. Like, I'll look after you. I'll make you feel special.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Here comes the but. It's gonna be like, "But if you're not good enough." (laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
But, no, no, no. Like, honestly, like, even, ugh, I f- I, I can honestly say, like, even Sarah, my PA, will tell you, like, I fall hard in love. Right?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Really?
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. I head over heels for someone. I'll fall so hard for you. Um, but I also fall so hard out of love for you.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Oh, shit.
- KCKrissy Cela
That's the issue with me. And that's-... facts. And I hate that about myself so much. It's the one thing I hate the most about myself. I'm a switch. You do something to annoy me, or you do something to kind of like ... (laughs) it's bad. It's not healthy. Like I ... People think I'm superwoman. (laughs) I've got my own problems, sis. Like-
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
... I've got my own issues. I fall so in love with someone, and then if I don't see that same level of love back, I'm like, "Fuck this shit."
- SBSteven Bartlett
Self-defense?
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. I do think in relationships, I'm really, I'm really defensive. And do you know what? I can't believe I'm admitting all this, but yeah, I, I would say I am, and I think that, um-
- SBSteven Bartlett
What are you defending yourself from?
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't know. Okay. Why are you ... Are, are you hard to date?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
Okay. So, so are you defensive?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Chrissy, this is all about your diary. Well, come to me.
- KCKrissy Cela
(laughs) No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I wanna know what you're defending yourself from. 'Cause you, you literally said, "If I don't get the same type of love back."
- KCKrissy Cela
Okay. Okay, okay. So, so you're obviously very motivated. You're very inspired. You're very like driven, right?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm. Thanks.
- KCKrissy Cela
You're welcome.
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
I'm the same. Like I just wanna keep going, I wanna grind, I wanna grind. So if I see someone kind of just not doing the same, infuriates me. Like I'm almost like, "How can you not have passion for something? How can you not have a drive for something?" And then it leads me to believe that, "Hold on a minute, if I did have the same person that had the same level of drive, would we be compatible? Maybe I do need someone a little bit more like low-key 'cause then it will make me feel a bit calmer when I'm home." It's all over the gaff. I don't know what I want. Women don't know what they want. Stop asking women what we want.
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
We don't know what we want. (laughs) We don't know what we want. But what I can say is, I think sometimes when we overthink things, especially me, I overthink relationships all the freaking time, I think sometimes it's a good idea to just take a step back and just relax a bit, 'cause if someone is genuinely there for you, willing to listen, willing to take care of you, and willing to always, always put effort in-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
... stop being a bitch, pretty much, you know.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
I, I ... Me, personally, I'm, I'm difficult to date, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I don't even (laughs) feel bad saying that. I feel quite free saying that.
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- 47:58 – 55:09
Your parents
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, immigrated at the back of a lorry.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
You know, I immigrated at the back of a banana lorry.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Wow.
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. And, um, I remember we landed in France and my family got arrested 'cause we were immigrants. And they separated us, so they put me and my mum and my brother in one room, my dad in another room. You could see him through the glass. And I remember crying and crying and crying like, "Dad, dad, dad." I didn't know what was going on. I was four years old, but I still remember that. I will never forget the, the prison room was turquoise. I'll never forget that. And, uh, when we came to this country, my mum and dad worked hard. My mum worked three jobs. My dad worked as a HB1 lorry driver every single night, you know. Every penny they had, they saved, they saved, they saved. Um, my dad had a pretty bad gambling problem. I'm gonna be honest. My mum was constantly trying to like fix that problem. And (sighs) I've never actually mentioned that ever before. Ever.And as much as I love my dad with my entire heart, and, and I want nothing more but him to be happy, it caused a lot of strain on my mum. Like trying to feed her family, trying to like work hard, trying to save, trying to take us on holiday, you know? Um, so to save money and then to have the person you love gambling away, it's like, "What's the point?" Like I don't understand why I'm with this person. But in my culture, you don't leave the man you're with.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
You're stuck with them. But my mum, even though he was like that, my mum loved and loves my dad so much. It's pretty bizarre, 'cause that would be enough to tick anyone off. But she just believed in him. He doesn't do it anymore. Believed in him and nourished him and loved him so much, and together they grew better. Um, so for me, if I have a man and he like places a bet on something, it triggers me to think he's gonna be gambling.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
And I'm like, "Oh my God. No. Sorry. Out." He's put one bet down and I think he's a gambler. Do you know what I mean?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
It's crazy.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So I asked that question for a reason.
- KCKrissy Cela
Go on.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Um, because we've, we've, we've established that we have very much similar traits in relationships-
- KCKrissy Cela
Mm-hmm.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... that we, we tend to really value hard work and ambition. And it tends to be the case that the value we attribute to hard work and ambition probably comes from a childhood where, um, hard work and ambition were the thing that might have got us out of some bullshit. Let me tell t- from my example, all right?
- KCKrissy Cela
Go ahead.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So very much the same as yours, but switch the parents. So I came from Africa. I was born in Africa, came to the UK. My dad had like a pretty good job, but my mum, you could call it a gambling addiction. She had this... She has both a gambling addiction on one hand, 'cause she played... Th- there was probably 1,000 lottery tickets. If I opened any drawer in our house-
- KCKrissy Cela
Wow! Okay.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... lottery tickets, right? But on the other hand, she, she was, she was... She couldn't stop starting businesses to the point that-
- KCKrissy Cela
Oh, okay.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... the reason why we were so poor, we never had birthdays or Christmases, or went on holiday at all ever period, was because my mum spent all the money trying to become a millionaire by starting these businesses. They'd all fail within six months 'cause she can't read or write. And my dad was the unconditionally loving, calm, supportive, won't leave you even though you're an absolute asshole parent, right? And so-
- KCKrissy Cela
There's one.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah. So in my house, I think when I think about why I am the way I am now, I think money was such a big problem that in our house it was the cause of so much pain-
- KCKrissy Cela
Mm-hmm. Same.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... that I grew up valuing it so much. And the thing that would get you it, which w- to me would be like, you know, my... what I thought was happiness, was like hard work, ambition, h-
- KCKrissy Cela
Same.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Like my parents worked so hard that they wouldn't even be i- in the house when I went to bed or when I woke up. And so I value hard work and ambition because my parents taught me it, because it was the cure to our problems, right? So... And especially as immigrants, right? There's a different... there's like an im- immigrant vibe that's-
- KCKrissy Cela
I, I get you.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- 55:09 – 58:28
The pressure on women
- KCKrissy Cela
all the time scared. I'm 26 years old, and as women, we're told we have a timeframe. If you're not 30, you have kids, you're too old. If you, if you have kids at 40, what kind of mom are you? All this bloody shit around us all the time. Do you know how much pressure that adds as a woman? All the time. So much pressure. You gotta get married, you gotta have kids, you gotta be a mom, you gotta be a mom before 30. (sighs) I just wanna like breathe out. There's so much pressure, and it petrifies me. It honestly petrifies me 'cause a lot of people around me in my industry are married or, or have children or have like a fiance, and I had that, and I almost think to myself, "I had that and I let that go."
- SBSteven Bartlett
And do sometimes you, you, you think, do you know, and this is probably- I'm asking this question again for my own reasons. So, do, do you ever consider the fact that you might be too busy being-
- KCKrissy Cela
No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... Entrepreneur Chrissy?
- KCKrissy Cela
No.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Right.
- KCKrissy Cela
You're never too busy for someone you love. I don't think that's the case. I don't think, um, I'm too busy.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Do you think you're, what you're doing with, with your businesses and as an entrepreneur might prevent you, um, being, uh, aware and forming a healthy relationship when the prospect arises?
- KCKrissy Cela
Do you know what I think it is? When you have a nine-to-five, you clock out. You come home, you switch off. You don't clock out. You're working constantly. Even if you're in this room, you're still at the back of your head thinking about your business. You're thinking about something you need to do, something you n- j- to check off, something you need to approve, something you need to expand on. So it's, it's so guilty for me to say this, like I feel bad saying it, but I could be in a room with you and I'm thinking about my companies constantly, and someone who has a nine-to-five doesn't understand that because, it's like you're switched off at five, and sometimes I feel bad saying I do kind of wish I can switch off at 5:00 PM, but I just can't. And I think it's not necessarily that I'm too busy, it's that I'm constantly thinking. Even if I'm in the room with you, I'm constantly thinking about what I have to do.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And you can make someone feel pretty lonely just by being- even if you're sat next to them-
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... you're often, you know-
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I, I often say, I say like when I'm with somebody, my aim isn't for them to ever understand me. It's just to understand that they don't understand.
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Because-
- KCKrissy Cela
It's true.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... I think I'm like too difficult to understand. If I'm quiet for an hour, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It means that I've just got an email-
- KCKrissy Cela
So true.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... and it's just fucked me. And I actually don't want to always share things at home 'cause it's offloading-
- KCKrissy Cela
You're offloading.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah, you're offloading. And I don't wanna be back 'cause I could offload 24/7.
- KCKrissy Cela
Oh trust me-
- SBSteven Bartlett
You know?
- KCKrissy Cela
... so can I (laughs) . Sarah's always like, "Ugh."
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs) .
- KCKrissy Cela
"Here we go again."
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs) .
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, but it's true. Like, you know, your phone is buzzing off constantly. You could get a DM by someone. You could, you could get a message, an email, and it's like, "Oh fuck. Really?" And then you're just sitting watching a movie with your partner.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Tell me about that part of being an entrepreneur. I think that's why I really started the podcast in the first place was, I want to hear about the bullshit of running a business, the unexpected, unpredictable,
- 58:28 – 1:06:21
The bullshit of being an entrepreneur
- SBSteven Bartlett
life-shifting bullshit that happens.
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. Your life is you breathe and you live your businesses. I think this is something people don't understand. You live and you breathe your companies. They are your babies. No one and nothing can get in the way. And no one understands that. They see the money, the success, the followers, the this, the that, the blingy cars, whatever you- the hell you wanna see, and let me tell you the reality. You don't have much time. You suck at relationships. You don't have many friends, and the friends that you have, you don't really see them. Um, when you do have time to yourself, you never switch off ever. You are the biggest self-critic ever. You constantly think that you could be doing better, and that pressure is insane. Mentally and physically it drains you. And, um, another thing is that I really just wanna say, um, if you think a life of an entrepreneur is so glamorous, this is the first time I've put on jeans in, I would say-
- SBSteven Bartlett
I feel blessed. I feel privileged.
- KCKrissy Cela
... I don't know how long, but I don't live in jeans. I live in sweats and sliders.
- SBSteven Bartlett
So if it sucks so much-
- KCKrissy Cela
It doesn't suck.
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs) .
- KCKrissy Cela
And you know what I'm trying to say.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. But I'm also here to, um, to try and help people understand multiple perspectives 'cause people say, "Okay, so you've criticized, you know, you've talked, not criticized, but you've talked about the downsides, right? And why do you still do it?" Because you could just say, "Do you know what? I killed it." Hang up your, uh, your gym, your, your active wear clothes-
- KCKrissy Cela
(laughs) .
- SBSteven Bartlett
... or your shoes. I don't know what, what people would say (laughs) -
- KCKrissy Cela
(laughs) .
- SBSteven Bartlett
... and you could say, "That's it. I'm done." Why don't you?
- KCKrissy Cela
Oh, no.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Why not?
- KCKrissy Cela
Gosh, the feeling I get when I, when I see someone's transformation, nah, that fills me up. Like that fuels me. When I see a transformation, when I see someone who had, um, a mental, a mental health disorder or an eating disorder and has- is now thriving, do you know that is so unexplainable that nothing else matters? I'd rather not have a relationship, to be frank with you. I really am not that fussed. So long as I can continue to help as many women as possible, for me, that's enough, and that's why I don't stop.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Is there an end point in all this? Is there?
- KCKrissy Cela
I hope not.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Okay. There's no like mountaintop. There's no-
- KCKrissy Cela
No, I, I think that...You know, you're, you're told in life that you need to go to school, you need to go to university, you need to achieve this, right? So then you achieve this, and you are not satisfied, so you need to achieve this, and then this, and then this. I don't have goals for financial status, for awards, for anything like that. I had maybe two goals, and I've achieved one of them, which I won't share 'cause it's actually very top secret, but you'll see it-
- SBSteven Bartlett
Uh-oh.
- KCKrissy Cela
... next year.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Okay. (clears throat)
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, but if you have these, um, tangible goals-
- SBSteven Bartlett
I'm thinking now what it is. I'm like, "You've finally married an Albanian man." I'm like, "What?" (laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
Oh, no. Yes, Daddy, I did. (laughs)
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
No, no, no. I didn't, I didn't. No, I'm not married.
- SBSteven Bartlett
(sighs)
- KCKrissy Cela
No, that's actually very depressing, thank you.
- 1:06:21 – 1:10:00
My battle with depression
- SBSteven Bartlett
I think, I think I read that you, you said you'd suffered with depression at s- uh, various stages-
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... early on. Can you tell me about that?
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. Huge. Like, I mean, a lot of people see a very picture-perfect image on Instagram, which I'm to blame. Just like everybody else, you wanna f- you wanna showcase the best bits of you. Nothing wrong with that. You keep doing you. If that works, you keep doing you. But I have been s- in such dark places that I couldn't, I couldn't picture wanting anyone to f- to feel what I felt at those places. Even someone I resent. Not that I resent anyone, but I wouldn't even want that for them. These dark places suck you in so much that you honestly start to contemplate whether you just want to stop feeling that feeling, period. Like, just be done with it. And-I'll never forget, I was laying in bed one day. And I was so depressed, so depressed that I just thought to myself, "It'd be so much easier if I wasn't here. Like, so much easier, just quit, just leave." And I cried myself to sleep, and I woke up the next morning, and it almost felt like in my dream I'd made it happen, if you know what I'm trying to say without saying it. And I just thought, "I need to stop, 'cause I cannot go on like this." And I think when I try and explain to people that I've, I know those dark places, I've been in those dark places, they don't believe me because they see me for the person I am today. They don't see the person that fought so hard to be where I am today, mentally. Not even about the success, the businesses. Mentally. That's the most important thing up here. This is the most important thing. You can have all the money in the world, all the businesses in the world. You can have 300 employees, multiple companies. Who gives a fuck about that if you up here are so not okay? So yeah. I've been through dark places, but I've also picked myself up multiple times, and I've had to brush my shoulders off and get shit done. And that's why I keep saying to every single person out there, you have to do this for you. Do this for you. This is the, the biggest and most important thing I can say to you.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And now that you have, you know, you've built this empire, this little fitness empire which is rapidly growing, do you ever find yourself in those dark places, even today?
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. Not as bad. Um, but I find myself, um, I find myself wondering if I'll ever have, like, a somewhat normal life. So, like, what we discussed, will I ever find someone again? Will I be in love? Will I get married? Will I have children? Like, I want children. I want to be married. I believe in those things. I want those things. But sometimes I wonder if those things are gonna happen for me. And I do wonder, I just maybe need to stop over-complicating things in my mind. But I can't switch off. And maybe the only way I know to switch off is just to quit. Do you see what I'm saying?
- SBSteven Bartlett
Mm-hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
It's a vicious circle. But then if I quit, I'll be so angry at myself for quitting.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Hmm.
- KCKrissy Cela
So it's like ongoing. It's constant. It doesn't stop. So, um, yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
And d'you think part of th- that fear comes from the fact that you believe the way you are now and how you live and work now and
- 1:10:00 – 1:18:05
Somethings going to have to give in my life
- SBSteven Bartlett
how obsessive you are now, is probably not, like, conducive or, um, it is probably not going to allow that other, all those other things you want to-
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... to come true. Right? So, like, you think, "Well, something's gonna have to give at some point." Is that-
- KCKrissy Cela
I do. I'm not gonna lie. I, I, I l- literally think like that. I'm not gonna lie. Like, so when, when ToneSculpt was built, um, we, I didn't, I honestly didn't realize it would grow the speed it did with little to absolutely no marketing expenditure. So everything's been s- hyper-organic. In the space of 12 months, we now have a team of 22 people, when it was just me and Jack 12 months ago. 22 people, an office in, in, in London. We know what the rent is like in London. It's off the chain. Um, 120% growth. You know, month by month, it's rapid growth. We've just launched a brand new trainer, um, who is, like, insane. And, um, I keep saying to myself, "Okay, when I get to this point, I can, I can relax." And I say that to Sarah all the time. And I keep saying it, and I keep mentioning Sarah, but, but because she is the one person that knows me probably better than my own blood, 'cause she's with me everywhere I go. And she is the person I speak to about a lot of things. So I always say to her, "Okay, when I get to this point with ToneSculpt, I, I can breathe."
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
And bless her, she's like, "Yeah, yeah."
- SBSteven Bartlett
(laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
But she knows in, in her head, "I want more, and I want more." The reason I want more is that I believe we can do more, and I believe we can do more and, and strive for more. So when does it end?
- SBSteven Bartlett
When does it end?
- KCKrissy Cela
It doesn't end. That's what I'm trying to say. So you have to make peace with it. You have to make peace with the fact that it's not supposed to end. But you also have to make peace with the fact that you need to make maybe some self, self-adjustments and, and be a bit critical of yourself. Because if you're going in a relationship and constantly thinking that that person should be on your level, that's, that's my problem I need to deal with. That's not their problem. You know? It's not fair on them.
- SBSteven Bartlett
How d'you deal with that?
- KCKrissy Cela
I think it, I think it takes time. I think-
- SBSteven Bartlett
You're not sure, are you?
- KCKrissy Cela
No, I'm not sure.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I can tell by your body language.
- KCKrissy Cela
Oh, God. Um-
- SBSteven Bartlett
You haven't figured that one out. It's okay to not have it figured out, right?
- KCKrissy Cela
I don't have it figured out, and I'm someone who doesn't like not having things figured out.
- SBSteven Bartlett
Yeah.
- KCKrissy Cela
(laughs) Right?
- SBSteven Bartlett
I get that. Yeah, yeah. I get that.
- KCKrissy Cela
Um, but I do think I need to stop being so mean. (laughs)
- SBSteven Bartlett
It's this balance, right, between trying to figure it out now, because you kinda wanna be able to have a plan and have, you know... But then also realizing that you shouldn't overthink this thing, and that you should maybe just-
- KCKrissy Cela
You've literally made me feel in this podcast like I'm the most impossible person to be with.
- SBSteven Bartlett
I've not. I'm just asking the questions. (laughs)
- KCKrissy Cela
Oh, no, no. I think... But I can't lie. I'm not gonna lie just to make myself sound good.
- SBSteven Bartlett
No. It's, uh, it's a very important part of being a successful person that has this crazy neurotic obsessive brain-
- KCKrissy Cela
Yeah. I do.
- SBSteven Bartlett
... and that's super ambitious, and that's, but also has these other things they want and life is it drops it, you can't have everything at the same time. So what we're talking about now is, like, compromise and how you reach that compromise in your life, if possible.
- KCKrissy Cela
No.
Episode duration: 1:45:57
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