The Diary of a CEO

James Bay: Imposter Syndrome, Trauma & Controlling The Voice In Your Head | E166

James Bay is a BRIT-award winning musician who’s sold over 5 million records, and one of the most personal and authentic artists working in the field today. Never afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve in his work, his artistry has helped millions of people articulate feelings in their own heart of love, regret, and friendships made and ended. 00:00 Intro 01:30 Childhood 08:50 Idle time, insecurities & expectations 23:13 Becoming a musician and its learnings 35:06 How did it change your life? 45:10 Your albums and their influence 49:45 Would you change anything? 52:01 Your mental health 01:02:15 The consequences and symptoms of your inner voice 01:15:26 The cost of fame 01:22:54 Your partner 01:29:17 Your latest album 01:40:31 Our last guest’s question James: https://twitter.com/JamesBayMusic https://www.instagram.com/jamesbaymusic/ James’ new album: https://www.jamesbay.com Listen on: Apple podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast... Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7iQXmUT... FOLLOW ► Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steven/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/SteveBartlettSC Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevenbar... Sponsors: Huel - https://my.huel.com/Steven BlueJeans - https://www.bluejeans.com/ Carpets gifted from Tapi - https://bit.ly/3P10anj Chandelier & Lights gifted from Tom Kirk Lighting - https://bit.ly/3Q6vJxd

JBJames BayguestSBSteven Bartletthost

Aug 4, 2022·1h 45m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1
   2:00 – 12:00

   Small-Town Childhood, Steely Affection, And Early Drive

   Bay recounts growing up in Hitchin, a quiet commuter town, in a small but fiery, party‑loving family. He describes his parents’ ‘steely’ affection, their insistence on work and self‑sufficiency, and how that environment shaped both his shyness and his intense desire to excel.

2. 2
   12:00 – 27:00

   Idle Time, Guilt, And The Creative Mind

   Bay explores the tension between his need for unstructured ‘staring out the window’ time and a family culture that equated stillness with laziness. He explains how idle time is where ideas form, yet he still battles internalized guilt and a constant clock‑watching habit.

3. 3
   27:00 – 44:00

   Insecurities, Validation, And The Need To Be ‘The Best’

   Reflecting on school years, Bay admits he was driven to be the fastest runner and the best at drawing and football. He unpacks how that early need to be ‘the best’ was tied to justifying time spent on his passions, and how fear of losing that status fed his insecurities.

4. 4
   44:00 – 1:00:00

   Graft Years: Open Mics, Busking, And The 25-View Video

   Bay describes his 10,000‑hours phase: relentless open mic nights, busking, and a chance YouTube clip that drew label attention despite almost no views. He explains how he treated every pub and bar as training to improve his songs and live delivery.

5. 5
   1:00:00 – 1:21:00

   From EPs To Chaos And The Calm: The Whirlwind And Its Toll

   After signing, things accelerated: EPs, a debut headline tour, and the breakout album Chaos and the Calm with hits like ‘Hold Back the River’ and ‘Let It Go.’ Bay reveals how exhilarating success quickly became psychologically overwhelming, and why he didn’t listen back to the album for years.

6. 6
   1:21:00 – 1:38:00

   Second Album Expectations And The Weight Of Comparison

   Bay unpacks the psychological aftermath of a #1 debut: heightened expectations, the experimental turn of his second album *Electric Light*, and the internal conflict between gratitude for success and disappointment at not recreating the original frenzy.

7. 7
   1:38:00 – 1:54:00

   Mental Health, Masculinity, And Learning To Name The Drowning

   Bay recounts his evolving understanding of mental health—from seeing it as ‘crazy’ or unfixable to realizing everyone has it and that relentless life can wear anyone down. Touring years and others’ experiences nudged him toward therapy and more honest conversations.

8. 8
   1:54:00 – 2:08:00

   Ed Sheeran Stadium Tour: Success, Imposter Syndrome, And Cruel Standards

   Despite singing to tens of thousands nightly as Ed Sheeran’s main support, Bay’s inner critic told him he should be headlining. He describes feeling like an imposter, the ‘cruel’ standards he holds himself to, and how those voices can sabotage both happiness and opportunities.

9. 9
   2:08:00 – 2:18:00

   Therapy, Inner Voices, And The Myth Of 100% Healing

   Discussing therapy, Bay emphasizes that progress isn’t about erasing trauma or insecurity, but about reducing their influence. He resonates with Bartlett’s idea that the goal is to ensure the healthier narrative has more voting power than the fearful one.

10. 10
    2:18:00 – 2:36:00

    Drowning In 2019, Avoiding The ‘River,’ And Finding Perspective

    Bay calls 2019 a year of feeling like he was drowning in negative thoughts. He uses a vivid river metaphor to explain his historic urge to jump over emotional processing entirely, and how he’s learning to ‘get in the water’ instead of bypassing discomfort.

11. 11
    2:36:00 – 2:46:00

    Love, Lucy, And Writing Leap From A New Vulnerable Place

    Bay opens up about his long‑term partner Lucy as ‘one whole half’ of him and how their relationship informed the emotional core of *Leap*. He explains moving from privacy bordering on erasure to celebrating her openly in his music, especially in songs like ‘One Life.’

12. 12
    2:46:00

    Why Leap: Risk, Nets, And Remembering We Don’t Have Forever

    The conversation closes on the concept behind *Leap* and the broader philosophy of risk. Bay struggles with trusting that the net will appear, while Bartlett reframes risk through mortality and stagnation, arguing that not leaping is often the greatest danger.