The Diary of a CEOJames Smith: How To Create The Life You’ve Always Wanted | E120
CHAPTERS
- 2:00 – 10:00
Underestimated Kid: Adoption, School Struggles, and Early Limiting Beliefs
Smith describes his uneventful but formative childhood, being diagnosed (and later essentially told he was just "lazy") with learning difficulties, and feeling like one of the least likely to succeed at school. He explains how adoption shaped his sense of identity and attachment, and how early labeling led him to accept a small, low-ambition corporate future.
- •Diagnosed with learning difficulties; later told his reading/writing were actually fast, he was just "lazy."
- •Bored and disruptive at school, finishing exams early and disengaging, operating mentally at "20%".
- •Adopted into a loving, stable family; doesn’t identify with typical abandonment narratives around adoption.
- •Never seeing a blood relative created complex feelings in relationships—becoming quickly attached or sometimes cold.
- •Internalized the idea that his ceiling was a low-level corporate job with slow, incremental promotions.
- 10:00 – 26:20
Trapped in Corporate: Early Careers, Misery, and the Potential of the Disengaged
Smith recounts grinding through low-paid sales and recruitment roles, believing that was his natural place because he had “failed” the education system. He critiques how people in such jobs underestimate themselves, mistakenly thinking they couldn’t succeed solo while simultaneously hitting targets in work they hate.
- •Worked in sales and recruitment on £18–20k, planning a slow climb to management and potential directorship.
- •Experienced the “good money, hate the job” paradox in recruitment.
- •Argues schools should respond to bad grades by exploring lateral strengths, not labelling kids as failures.
- •Challenges listeners stuck in unfulfilling roles: hitting quotas in a hated job proves they could excel in something they love.
- •Warns that betting on “10 more years to finally be happy” is risky; that bet may simply be wrong.
- 26:20 – 37:20
Money, Happiness, and the Psychology of Wins
Smith and Bartlett discuss the decoupling of wealth and happiness beyond a certain income. Smith introduces the idea that all wins produce similar dopamine regardless of scale, and that people sabotage happiness by deferring celebration until huge milestones.
- •Acknowledges income–happiness plateaus around a certain household threshold; extra money changes little emotionally.
- •People assume millionaire CEOs wake up ecstatic; in reality they also just want a coffee and get on with their day.
- •Idea that wins—landing a small client or a huge deal, buying a Golf or a Lamborghini—feel chemically similar.
- •Advocates setting smaller, early goals (e.g., lose 1kg, not 10kg) and celebrating them fully.
- •Critiques the human tendency to withhold self-approval until big, often unrealistic achievements.
- 37:20 – 43:40
Building an Unexpected Brand: Process Obsession and Long-Term Bets
Smith explains that he never set out to be wealthy or famous; his goal was a small roster of high-quality PT clients. He became obsessed with process—posting daily and writing emails for months or years before monetisation—treating social media as a long-term investment that now pays off through books and scalable products.
- •Original goal: 10 clients, 3 sessions a week at a high rate, in London or Sydney.
- •Wrote marketing emails for 10 months and posted on social media for years with zero direct income.
- •Others would have considered him insane for such delayed ROI; he now enjoys a “hot table” of momentum.
- •Prefers the ongoing wave of becoming to a fixed Everest-style goal that can lead to post-achievement emptiness.
- •Views his business as sending an email, managing an academy, and writing books—work he genuinely enjoys daily.
- 43:40 – 52:40
Expectations, Extravagance, and the Stabilising Power of Jiu-Jitsu
The conversation turns to how rising standards can erode joy, using steak quality and luxury experiences as examples. Smith describes Brazilian jiu-jitsu as an ego-leveler and lifelong practice that anchors him regardless of financial or professional success.
- •Higher wealth raises expectations (e.g., billionaire furious at a 9/10 steak, others ecstatic at the same meal).
- •Fears becoming so successful that nothing excites him anymore; doesn’t want to be numb to experiences.
- •Jiu-jitsu keeps hierarchy clear and ego in check—belt order, wiping mats, getting beaten after business “wins.”
- •Parallels between jiu-jitsu and building an online business: both require enduring 6+ months of being bad with no visible rewards.
- •Sees martial arts as a nucleus that can’t be bought and will always challenge him, regardless of status.
- 52:40 – 1:07:20
Standing Out Online: Polarisation, Selective Hatred, and Authenticity
Smith outlines his social media philosophy: in a crowded, short-form environment you must be memorable, often by taking strong stances. He distinguishes between his more intense “caffeinated” online persona and his real-life self, and explains how he uses polarisation strategically without faking beliefs.
- •Treats social feeds as crowded rooms; you have seconds to be remembered, so neutrality is invisible.
- •Uses controversial opinions (e.g., “F1 is shit,” keto jabs, bodybuilding satire) to pull conversation around him.
- •Only ever needed a small number of buyers, so he’s comfortable with half the audience disliking him.
- •Picks battles on “other people’s turf” (e.g., keto zealots, extreme vegans, bodybuilders) to spark sharing and growth.
- •Reads negative comments as content prompts and emphasises the “power in being disliked” so long as seats are still filled.
- 1:07:20 – 1:36:40
Ethics in Fitness: Critiquing Joe Wicks and Teaching Principles Over Plans
Smith revisits his public criticism of Joe Wicks, describing concerns over over-supplementation, one-size-fits-all programming, and HIIT volume for general populations. He contrasts that with his own principle-based, education-first approach, likening trainers to driving instructors whose job is to make themselves obsolete.
- •Objected to clients doing Wicks’ plan while over-supplementing for basic home workouts (BCAAs, leucine, etc.).
- •Alarmed that a type 1 diabetic received a generic meal plan—evidence of unsafe, blanket prescriptions.
- •Believes smashing stressed, under-slept people with daily HIIT isn’t sustainable or appropriate.
- •Biggest concern: when people inevitably fail such plans, they internalise it as personal failure (“I didn’t want it enough”).
- •His model: start from the calorie-deficit principle, teach self-adjustment, set realistic goals (e.g., “jog topless comfortably,” not Men’s Health cover), and aim to be out of clients’ lives within months.
- 1:36:40 – 1:55:00
Life Design, Overeating, and the Hidden Cost of Unfulfilling Work
Smith reframes overeating not as gluttony but as a symptom of a life devoid of other pleasures. He urges people to examine their work and relationships before blaming willpower and describes how corporate structures effectively “construct” lives for employees who never design their own.
- •Saw firsthand that many office workers are doing just enough to keep jobs they dislike, numbing boredom with food (e.g., 500-calorie peanut-butter-Nutella toast when not hungry).
- •Argues that if you hate your job and your relationship, food may be your only daily enjoyment; dieting is then removing your last pleasure.
- •Encourages radical honesty: Do you like your job? Your partner? Or are you staying due to sunk costs?
- •Shares his own turning-point moment reading Tim Ferriss, imagining a “gun to the head” scenario to spur intense action.
- •Warns against letting corporates design your entire life; if you don’t build it intentionally, they will.
- 1:55:00 – 2:08:40
Responsibility, Risk, and the “I’ve Got Kids and a Mortgage” Objection
Addressing listeners who feel trapped by responsibilities, Smith walks through the tension between genuine constraints and self-imposed excuses. He proposes two paths: calculated risk to change course or fully owning your sacrifice and passing the lesson to your children.
- •Acknowledges he’s mainly speaking to his 22-year-old self, not every demographic, but still challenges fatalistic thinking.
- •Points out that many situations (unfulfilling jobs, rocky relationships) deteriorate over time rather than improve.
- •For those truly unable to pivot, he suggests openly teaching their kids not to repeat the same trap.
- •Questions whether “kids and mortgage” are real immovable walls or protective stories hiding fear of change.
- •Encourages at least testing what wholehearted effort for 2–3 months could achieve before dismissing possibilities.
- 2:08:40 – 2:25:20
Impostor Syndrome, Psychedelics, and the Question: Do They Like Me or What I Do?
Smith admits to frequent impostor feelings and reliance on external validation, then describes how psychedelics forced him into confronting deeper questions about identity and worth. He uses criticism as a trigger to revalidate his positions rather than purely defend his ego.
- •Feels much of his confidence is a necessary façade; off-stage he sees himself as “just a PT from Bracknell.”
- •Finds it surreal when parents are proud of fans asking for photos, given 85% of his life no one noticed him.
- •Uses troll attacks as prompts to check with experts: am I actually wrong here?
- •Psychedelics posed unsettling questions like “Do people like you for who you are or what you do?” which take months to unpack.
- •Recognises the volatility of depending on external validation yet hasn’t fully resolved that tension.
- 2:25:20 – 2:47:20
Mental Jail, Expression, and the Role of Podcasts and Offline Time
Bartlett introduces the idea of “mental prison,” and Smith agrees, noting how corporate etiquette once made him lie about his weekends and behaviour. They frame podcasting, art, and even long, device-free trips with friends as vital outlets for self-expression that protect mental health.
- •Mental jail: when others (or institutions) dictate what you can think, say, and be, even if you’re not behind physical bars.
- •In corporate life Smith couldn’t even tell the truth about messy rugby weekends, defaulting to safe scripts.
- •Travelled to Melbourne without devices; noticed dramatically deeper conversations and emotional disclosures among friends.
- •Sees podcasts and writing as therapeutic; you’ve “already won” by expressing yourself, regardless of download numbers.
- •Warns that social media often rewards “correctness” over authenticity, fueling self-censorship and inner conflict.
- 2:47:20 – 3:09:00
Love, Temptation, and the Desire to Break the Lineage Chain
Smith reflects on his poor track record in long-term relationships, his avoidant attachment style, and the temptations created by fame. Through psychedelic experiences and reflection on his adoption, he’s become determined to have children and continue his lineage, seeing family as a long-term happiness investment.
- •No relationship over a year in the last decade; questions whether that makes him bad at relationships or good at ending wrong ones quickly.
- •Psychedelics and watching a father and child feeding ducks crystallised his desire to have kids.
- •Being adopted magnifies the idea of meeting his first biological relative—his own child.
- •Fears becoming the wealthy, lonely 40-year-old chasing models rather than building a family.
- •Believes pleasure (toys, parties, short flings) is short-lived; long-term happiness comes from giving—especially to family.
- •Conscious of the elevated temptation from DMs and status; sees “being a strong man for one hour” as the test many fail.
- 3:09:00 – 3:23:00
Working on Himself: From Avoidant Attachment to Higher Personal Standards
Smith candidly admits he hasn’t been a great partner in past relationships, often selfish and quick to blame others. He’s begun studying attachment theory and sees the need to raise his own standards of behaviour to be worthy of the kind of committed relationship and fatherhood he desires.
- •Read “Attached” and identified with avoidant attachment and bailing quickly when things felt off.
- •Recognises he’s made bad decisions in relationships and then rationalised them as the other person’s fault.
- •Understands that fame and social media bring options that demand stronger character, not weaker.
- •Takes inspiration from his parents’ 50-year marriage and his father’s long-term commitment to one job and one partner.
- •Plans to be transparent with future partners about his baggage while actively working to be “a better human.”
- 3:23:00
Redefining Confidence and Rejecting the Myth of Luck
In closing, Smith previews his upcoming book on confidence, emphasising he’s exploring it as a student, not a guru. Answering a question about luck, he argues that preparation meeting opportunity—not random fortune—explains most outcomes, and that believing too much in luck disempowers people from taking responsibility.
- •Sees confidence as an attainable tool, not a superpower; everyone has gaping holes in specific domains.
- •Curious about nature vs. nurture components of confidence and sceptical of oversimplified hacks.
- •Admits he can address 16,000 people yet still fear asking a woman for her number—illustrating domain-specific confidence.
- •Defines luck as “when preparation meets opportunity” and bristles at people attributing others’ success to luck.
- •Warns that over-belief in luck or structural excuses hands control of your life to external forces instead of personal responsibility.
