The Diary of a CEORita Ora: “I Lived With Constant Anxiety”…After Being Signed By Jay-Z At 18!!!
CHAPTERS
- 1:00 – 10:20
From Kosovo Refugee To West London Childhood
Rita recounts her family’s escape from war-torn Kosovo, their arrival in London, and the early years living in temporary housing and a council flat. She reflects on what she inherited from her parents: language, a relentless work ethic, and a strong sense of responsibility and resilience, despite money struggles and her mother’s health battles.
- •Born in Pristina, Kosovo in 1990; family fled to the UK in 1991 as refugees.
- •Moved through temporary government housing before settling in a West London council flat.
- •Parents had to restart careers: mother retrained as a psychiatrist while battling breast cancer in her 30s; father went from economics to working in a pizza place and later a pub.
- •Household values: resilience, hard work, keeping your word, and openly discussing money and sacrifice.
- •Older sister took on adult responsibilities early, translating and helping with schoolwork due to parents’ limited English.
- 10:20 – 16:00
Finding Her Voice: School Musicals To Serious Ambition
Rita describes her joyful but pressured school years, where she first discovered her love of singing through school plays and choirs. A supportive teacher’s intervention crystallized her belief that music could be more than a hobby, while her parents reacted with a mix of excitement and traditional caution.
- •Primary school felt fun and creative despite family stress at home.
- •Landing the role of Cinderella in a school play sparked the thought, “I want to be a singer.”
- •Choir teacher Susie pushed her hard and often gave her solos, eventually calling her parents to say Rita had special musical talent.
- •Her mother encouraged performing at parties; her father was excited but practical, not expecting music to be a real career.
- •Early sense of ‘having to overwork’ as a non‑British‑born child wanting to prove she deserved her place in the UK.
- 16:00 – 22:00
Cancer, Rebellion, And The Birth Of Anxiety
Teenage Rita is shaken when her mother is diagnosed with breast cancer, shattering her belief that parents are invincible. She rebels at school, becomes consumed by fear of loss, and experiences her first anxiety and panic symptoms, though she doesn’t yet have language for them.
- •Her mother’s breast cancer diagnosis when Rita was around 15 became a defining life event.
- •Seeing her ‘superhero’ mum lose her hair and strength forced her to confront mortality and uncertainty.
- •She skipped classes at Sylvia Young Theatre School, went ‘rebel,’ and fixated on trying to ‘find a cure’ in a desperate survival mode.
- •Event deepened her appreciation for her parents and changed how she interacted with them and her siblings.
- •Her first experiences of anxiety and panic were tied to the possibility of losing loved ones and losing structure.
- 22:00 – 27:30
Work As Coping Mechanism And The Immigrant Drive
Rita explains how throwing herself into work became her main way of coping with distress and uncertainty. She connects this to a common immigrant pattern: witnessing parental survival struggles, inheriting a fear of scarcity, and deriving a sense of security and identity from relentless productivity.
- •Uses work and new projects as distraction when life feels overwhelming.
- •Started therapy at 26 after years of her psychiatrist mother encouraging it; found it transformative but had to choose it herself.
- •Describes how her happiness became over‑regulated by career, making setbacks devastating.
- •Relates to refugees and immigrants whose childhood insecurity drives them to cling to work as their only safety.
- •Recognizes the blessing and curse: over‑identifying with work intensifies emotional collapse when things go wrong.
- 27:30 – 36:10
Fear Of Losing It All And The Pressure Of Representation
She admits to a constant fear of losing her success and financial stability, fueled by her family’s history of going from established professionals to starting again. That fear is amplified by feeling she represents others from similar backgrounds and now has dependents and employees counting on her.
- •Openly fears falling from success, sometimes having nightmares about losing everything.
- •Feels responsibility not just for herself, but for her family, employees, and kids she meets through her UNICEF work.
- •Sees herself as a symbol of what’s possible for people from Kosovo and refugee backgrounds, adding weight to her choices.
- •Talk with a globally famous actor revealed that fear of losing money/success is common even at the highest levels.
- •Being public‑facing makes the stakes of failure feel even higher, as missteps are visible and judged.
- 36:10 – 41:00
From Choir Girl To Roc Nation: The Power Of Showing Up
Rita breaks down the practical steps between early singing and being signed by Jay‑Z at 18. Without a plan B, she immersed herself in studios, odd jobs, and unpaid work, placing herself in environments where luck could find her—and eventually it did via a demo that impressed Roc Nation’s team.
- •Left college against her father’s wishes, promising to try music for a year before going back (she never did).
- •Interned at a recording studio for free: making tea, cleaning floors, doing backing vocals for producers like Craig David.
- •Sang on demos that were shopped to other artists; one demo voice caught the attention of Jay Brown (Roc Nation).
- •A chance “Who’s that singing?” moment led to a flight to New York, meeting Jay‑Z’s team, singing for them, and being signed at 18.
- •Her ‘X factor’ in that era: relentless presence—working in a shoe shop by day, studio by night, singing in her dad’s pub and playing her demos in-store.
- 41:00 – 47:50
Naive At 18: Big Names, Broken Promises, And Identity
Reflecting on being signed so young, Rita says she was eager to please powerful people and outsourced too much of her judgment. She now warns against blindly believing industry promises and stresses the importance of building a strong creative core and being loved for who you are, not just your output.
- •At 18, she viewed Jay‑Z and his team as infallible and assumed they knew best, so she did whatever they suggested.
- •In hindsight, the missing advice was: don’t believe every promise; invest in your own craft so you’re not dependent on others.
- •Emphasizes that a quick number one isn’t a career; without your own DNA, you have no longevity.
- •Confesses a deep desire to be liked as a person so that, if everything collapsed, people would still “love her as a human.”
- •Recognizes this as an insecurity and a form of seeking external validation.
- 47:50 – 52:00
Confidence, Masking, And Building Mental Health Tools
Rita distinguishes between appearing confident and actually feeling secure. She reveals constant inner questioning, masked by a polished public persona, and outlines the physical, dietary, and spiritual practices that help her stay grounded and reduce panic triggers.
- •Calls herself “autopilot confident”: externally composed, internally flooded with doubts about looks, clothes, and performance.
- •Learns through therapy to accept that intrusive thoughts exist but can be ‘contained’ rather than allowed to spiral.
- •Non‑negotiable habits: regular workouts (often before long days), intermittent fasting, meditation, and using scents/incense to stay calm.
- •Avoids events and environments that feel likely to trigger anxiety; no longer feels obligated to say yes to everything.
- •Sometimes journals (especially around album creation) but more often uses voice notes to process emotions.
- 52:00 – 58:00
Messy Twenties: Fame Highs, Silent Mornings, And Panic Attacks
She revisits her early 20s, when her first album success sent her life into overdrive. Amid non‑stop parties, touring, and tabloid attention, she lost touch with real friends and sought love and meaning in unhealthy ways, culminating in debilitating panic attacks and a quarter‑life crisis.
- •Post‑debut‑album, everything ‘shot to number one’ and life became a non‑stop roller coaster.
- •She neglected close friendships and family, chasing being wanted and loved through romantic relationships and nightlife.
- •Describes her 20s as messy: drinking heavily, eating poorly, growing up around a pub culture where alcohol was normalized.
- •The key emotional signal: waking up after big nights to a silence that felt horrible—avoiding time alone with her thoughts.
- •At 25, experienced a severe panic attack at a Prince’s Trust event at the Royal Albert Hall—tingling hands, weak legs—then performed anyway, later learning fear of panic itself can trigger more attacks.
- 58:00 – 1:05:30
Trust, Disappointment, And Planting Relationship Seeds
Rita unpacks her complex relationship with trust—generous with people on a personal level, far more guarded in business. Despite betrayals and broken promises, she credits her openness with building long-term relationships that later turned into unexpected opportunities.
- •Personally, she tends to trust easily and give second chances, often seeing the best in people even to her own detriment.
- •Professionally, she’s now skeptical of grand promises like “Come with us and we’ll get you X,” and demands tangible proof.
- •Feels she’s been “left with nothing” and disappointed enough times to stop asking people for favors in business.
- •Despite that, she values the genuine connections formed during tough periods; people who saw her effort later re‑approached her with new offers.
- •Frames her past as ‘planting seeds’—even unsuccessful projects built goodwill and credibility for the future.
- 1:05:30 – 1:12:00
Rebirth And Owning Her Career: The ‘You & I’ Era
Rita positions her new album ‘You & I’ as a creative and personal rebirth: she now owns her masters, has greater decision-making power, and is intentionally crafting a long-term, 360-degree career. The music charts her emotional evolution from tentative love to self-acceptance and stable partnership.
- •After more than a decade in music, her focus is on timelessness and longevity, not just hits.
- •Now owns her masters and has greater autonomy over musical and business decisions.
- •Sees herself as a 360 entertainer—music, TV, film—taking cues from long-lasting artists like Kylie Minogue and Jennifer Lopez.
- •Album narrative: ‘Don’t Think Twice’ (jumping into new love), ‘You Only Love Me’ (uncertainty and exclusivity), and songs like ‘Girl in the Mirror’ (self-acceptance and body image).
- •Goal for this era: reconnect with fans, feel ‘like the girl next door they’ve always known,’ and be someone audiences can rely on for escape and emotion.
- 1:12:00 – 1:17:00
Marriage, Stability, And Redefining Home
She explains how marrying director Taika Waititi didn’t radically change their dynamic, because it grew from a longstanding friendship, but it transformed her sense of stability. For someone who had deprioritized relationships in favor of career, finding a partner who could match her pace felt like a major personal achievement.
- •She and Taika were close friends before romance; he jokes she ‘ruined it’ by dating him.
- •Marriage felt like best friends formalizing something that already worked organically.
- •Stability at home has boosted her ambition; she now feels more excited about new goals with a secure base.
- •Earlier in life, she admits she didn’t make space or time to find a soulmate; romantic partners had to keep up with her ‘roller coaster or get off.’
- •Now a stepmother, she sees ‘real life’ as dinners at home and cooking for kids, not media noise.
- 1:17:00 – 1:23:00
Attachment, Selfishness, And Learning To Be A Partner
Rita reflects on how her job, centered entirely on her, shaped her early relationship style; she expected partners to orbit her and her schedule. With age and therapy, she’s learned that successful relationships require selflessness, compromise, and recognizing that it’s not all about her.
- •Admits she used to treat relationships like her career: “You’re doing what I’m doing, that’s it.”
- •Realized that healthy relationships demand being there for the other person and sometimes putting their needs first.
- •Despite growing up with parents in a strong, supportive marriage, her own chaotic pace made it hard for partners to cope.
- •Understands that when she met Taika, she herself was finally in the right mindset to sustain a relationship, not just that he was ‘the right person.’
- •Her new album explicitly pushes back against the idea that someone else will ‘fix’ you; it’s about arriving whole.
- 1:23:00
Media Narratives, Double Standards, And Wanting To Be Remembered
In the final segment, Rita discusses how tabloid narratives around her have shifted since marriage and how gossip has long overshadowed her work ethic. She speaks candidly about feeling broken by public violations, the gendered double standard in how female artists are judged, and what she hopes her legacy will be.
- •She jokes the press “don’t know what to say now” that she’s married, after exhausting every gossip angle.
- •Tabloid stories deeply affected her on a human level, but she’s learned to respond through art instead of public rebuttals.
- •Wants to be remembered for two things: her work ethic (“She really did that”) and being a genuinely nice, jolly person.
- •Points out that women often must be more consistent and opinionated to get the same credit men receive, especially in music.
- •Feels a responsibility to younger women watching her; wants them to feel inspired by her resilience and honesty about mistakes.
- •Ends by embracing her identity as a survivor with a ‘fire up her ass’—a hustler whose sacrifices and persistence underpin her success.
