Dr. Gad Saad: Why women, too, evolved to want sexual variety

Saad stresses that describing why a behavior evolved (e.g., male jealousy, infidelity, step‑parent violence) does not endorse it. Just as oncologists study cancer without 'supporting' cancer, social scientists must be free to study sex and group differences without being accused of bigotry. Treating some findings as 'forbidden knowledge' because they offend ideological sensibilities undermines science and makes social problems harder to address.

Across cultures, men report a stronger desire for sexual variety and more partners, but women are not 'Victorian prudes.' Women are more likely to cheat when maximally fertile and less likely to insist on contraception if they are 'shopping for superior genes.' Saad cites sperm competition, testicle size across primates, and potential specialized sperm types (fertilizers, blockers, killers) as evidence that ancestral females often had multiple partners in short time windows.

Saad proposes a 'mate desirability score' that aggregates traits like looks, status, intelligence, ambition, and personality. People tend to pair with partners at a similar overall level (assortative mating). He hypothesizes that relationship failure is more likely when one partner’s score rises or falls significantly relative to the other—for example, a high-school cheerleader who later becomes a neurosurgeon paired with a former star athlete who becomes overweight and chronically unemployed.

Drawing on Daly and Wilson’s work, Saad notes that the presence of a step‑parent is roughly 100 times more predictive of child abuse than other commonly cited factors such as alcoholism or prior abuse. Similarly, the person most likely to be lethally dangerous to a woman is her husband or long‑term partner, with suspected or actual infidelity being the leading precipitant of violence. Understanding these risk factors evolutionarily (paternity certainty, investment in genetic offspring) is key for targeted prevention.

Women universally prioritize cues to male status (ambition, dominance, resources, trajectory) more than men prioritize female status. Men can raise their desirability significantly by improving physical condition, social skills, assertiveness, knowledge, and competence. Saad emphasizes that mating is 'compensatory': a shorter man with high status, charisma, or creativity can outcompete a taller but meek and unimpressive rival. He encourages low‑status men to stop self-medicating with porn and video games and instead build real-world value.