Alison Wood Brooks: Why most people quietly hate small talk

ℹ️ EPISODE INFO

Released

December 15, 2025

Duration

2h 31m

Channel

The Diary of a CEO

Watch on YouTube

▶ Open ↗

📝 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Why do your conversations keep going wrong? Harvard behavioural scientist Professor Alison Wood Brooks reveals the SECRETS to better communication, real connection, negotiation skills and difficult conversations! Professor Alison Wood Brooks is a behavioural scientist with 2 decades of experience in conversational science. She teaches a Harvard course on negotiation and communication, and is the bestselling author of ‘Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves’. She explains: ◼️The ONE word that transforms anxiety into peak performance ◼️The TALK framework for mastering any conversation ◼️Why being "too polite" is secretly destroying your relationships ◼️Why 99% of apologies fail, and the exact formula that works ◼️The question technique that creates connection with anyone 00:00 Intro 02:20 People Need This to Communicate Well 04:24 Giving Wrong Impressions 06:09 Being a Better Speaker and Group Conversations 11:17 Experimenting With Communication Skills With My Identical Twin 12:26 The Science on How to Reframe Anxiety 18:33 If You're Nervous, You're More Likely to Make a Bad Decision 20:02 Asking for a Salary Raise 24:26 The Conversational Compass 32:31 How People Should Really Apologize and When It's Too Much 37:17 The Validation Trick in Any Dispute 41:46 Don't Do This When You Disagree 47:53 How to Be Liked 49:48 The T-A-L-K Framework 51:33 Easy Ways to Have More Casual Conversations 54:59 If You Want to Be Liked, Don't Do This 59:10 The Importance of Asking in Conversations and Dates 01:03:13 Never Do This on a Date 01:07:13 The Meeting Mistake You Shouldn't Make 01:09:14 Poor Communication Skills Might Be Holding Back Your Career 01:11:48 Ads 01:12:39 The Importance of Kindness in Any Conversation 01:17:06 When to Incorporate Levity 01:23:42 The Science Behind Introverts and Extroverts — Is It Real? 01:27:03 Your Contribution Score in a Conversation 01:41:46 Ads 01:43:42 The Male Crisis: Ask These Questions to Make Friends 01:52:43 10 Questions to Be Liked 01:56:29 How to Persuade People and Be a Better Salesperson 01:58:33 People Confuse Agreement With Listening 02:09:07 This Is the Only Conversation That Feels Real 02:14:44 What Happens When Replacing Myself With AI 02:19:09 Show Your Real Self at Work: Yes or No? 02:25:01 How to Teach Your Kids to Speak Follow Alison: Instagram - https://bit.ly/3YoQOc4 Website - https://bit.ly/4aH172A TalkStudios - https://bit.ly/3MzbXxF You can purchase Alison’s book, ‘Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves’, here: https://amzn.to/3L64JAY The Diary Of A CEO: ◼️Get the 2026 Goal Setting Guide - https://bit.ly/ytgoalsettingguide ◼️Join DOAC circle here - https://doaccircle.com/ ◼️Buy The Diary Of A CEO book here - https://smarturl.it/DOACbook ◼️The 1% Diary is back - limited time only: https://bit.ly/3YFbJbt ◼️The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards (Second Edition): https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb ◼️Get email updates - https://bit.ly/diary-of-a-ceo-yt ◼️Follow Steven - https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb Sponsors: Wispr - https://wisprflow.ai/DOAC Shopify - https://shopify.com/bartlett SimpliSafe - https://simplisafe.com/DOAC to save 50% on a SimpliSafe home security system. Ketone - https://ketone.com/STEVEN for 30% off your subscription order

🎤 SPEAKERS

• Steven Bartlett

  host

• Alison Wood Brooks

  guest

• Narrator

  other

🧾 EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Diary of a CEO, featuring Steven Bartlett and Alison Wood Brooks, Alison Wood Brooks: Why most people quietly hate small talk explores harvard scientist reveals practical framework to become instantly more likable conversationalist Harvard professor and behavioral scientist Alison Wood Brooks explains why everyday conversation is far more complex and effortful than we assume, and how small communication mistakes fuel awkwardness, anxiety, boredom, and conflict.

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