How One Unexpected Failure Led Her to Olympic Gold | Elana Meyers Taylor

Dr. Becky Kennedy 0:00 You know that feeling when you do everything right, and the thing, whatever the thing is, still doesn't happen? And then you do everything right again because you're a person who tries hard, and the second time it still doesn't happen. I think about this with my own kids constantly. They practice, they show up, they do the hard part, and they're not the best. They don't win. And then right after that, kid or adult, you kind of have to decide, do I keep going? And you decide if you say, "I give up" or, "Challenge accepted." My guest today has done that [laughs] longer than almost anyone I can think of. Elana Meyers Taylor was supposed to be a softball player. She was an All-American in college. She set records in everything, and she dreamed of being an Olympic softball player from the age of nine. And then she had, in her own words, I promise, not mine, the worst trial of her life, the worst trial anyone has ever had, and didn't make the team. But there was kind of something else waiting for her: bobsled, a sport she had never touched. Since that moment, she has been to five Olympics for bobsled, and coming into this year she'd won a medal every color except for the one she wanted, gold. Then this past February at 41 years old, on the very last run of her very last shot at it, she won gold, tying her for the most Winter Olympic medals by any American woman, six, and also making her the most decorated Black American Winter Olympian in history. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is the second in our four-part series with Hot Wheels. I'm sitting down with risk-takers, high achievers, and big dreamers who, faced with impossible odds, years of hard work, and big hurdles, all say, "Challenge accepted." Today, Olympic bobsledder and gold medalist Elana Meyers Taylor. Let's jump in. [gentle music]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:10 All right, Elana. You've got an amazing story, but before any of it, I wanna know what you were like as a little kid.

Elana Meyers Taylor 2:17 Oh, gosh. Um, as a kid I was pretty shy.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:21 Mm-hmm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 2:21 I didn't really know how to interact with people, so it's a social skill that I had to actually learn. Um, my, my mom likes to tell this story about one time this little kid came over to me and hit me over the head with a tape, and I didn't react to the kid at all. I just started crying. I didn't try to retaliate. I... And I think, like, in my mind I was like, "Why would he do that?" Like, "Why would this happen?" And I couldn't make sense of it. So I had social issues, like, all growing up. It didn't really make sense-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:48 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 2:49 ... to me, like, how to interact with people, but that's where sport really came into play. And sport for me started as just going outside and playing-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 2:56 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 2:56 ... and then eventually organized sport gave me the framework to be able to learn how to interact with people and have some social structure.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:03 Mm. You said shy.

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:05 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:06 I always found that word interesting in childhood 'cause I think it can mean a lot of different things. Shy, quiet. Shy, didn't wanna try new things. Shy, kept to yourself. Shy... W- what did, what did it mean, or maybe none of those things that I meant?

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:19 I guess shy in my case, like, I was interested in trying new things-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:23 Okay

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:24 ... but people terrified me.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:26 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:26 Where it was not just adults either. Like, adults were actually easier to deal with because, you know, my parents had their friends and there was different people babysitting us from time to time. Like, that made sense to me. Dealing with other kids and figuring out how to relate to other kids did not make sense to me at any-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:41 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:41 ... standpoint, and so that's why I use the descriptor shy for that relationship.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:46 Like, you shied away from kids.

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:48 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:49 But you didn't shy away from activities-

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:52 No

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:52 ... even then.

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:53 No. Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 3:54 'Cause I-

Elana Meyers Taylor 3:54 I loved being active. It was... I loved being active, and also I loved, like, going to the library or, and doing artistic stuff, even though I'm not very artistic at all. But I loved the challenge of trying different things.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:05 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 4:06 Just people for some reason-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:07 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 4:07 ... it was like, I don't know. You don't make sense to me. Like, I, I can't conceptualize this in my three or five-year-old brain what's going on here, versus sport has rules. Art even has some kind of structure, you know? There's only so many-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:21 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 4:21 ... colors you can use. I'm sure that's offensive to many artists out there, uh, but-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:25 [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 4:26 ... there was more structure behind it, so it made a little bit more sense to me.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:29 And did your parents take an approach of, okay, she's drawn to these things. Let's help, you know, that part of her blossom? Did it feel like they were hard on you? Like, "Why can't you just play with other kids?" Like, "Come on, have these play dates." How did they approach that?

Elana Meyers Taylor 4:44 With dealing with other kids, they definitely were like, "Hey, you need to get over it. You need to go out there and figure it out, and this is y- this is how life is. You're gonna have to interact with other people." And also, I had an older sister, and she was always the type of person who could go out and-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 4:58 Oh

Elana Meyers Taylor 4:58 ... be very social in circles. So when we were out together, when we were playing with kids together, I would just let her do all the talking.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:04 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 5:05 And of course my parents were in those settings, so they didn't see, so they didn't understand that's what was going on.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:09 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 5:09 When we're out together playing with friends in the yard or f- playing with friends in the neighborhood or stuff, I'm just letting her take the lead.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:16 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 5:16 But when it comes to my own individual schooling, I'm like, I don't wanna talk to these people. I don't know these people.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:21 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 5:21 I don't know what I'm doing. So they were always of the impression as like, "Hey, you need to figure out how to make this happen."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:26 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 5:26 "You need to figure out how to engage with kids your age."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 5:29 Yeah. Do you remember, 'cause we're not gonna get to bobsled yet, but do you remember the first thing you did that was, like, kind of daring? I don't wanna say it's reckless, but yeah, it was daring. It was brave. It was a little scary.

Elana Meyers Taylor 5:43 Oh, I was full of those types of activities I think, and that's probably why, one of the reasons why my parents came up with the idea for bobsled is we used to go... We had skateboards. I don't know how we ended up getting these skateboards, but I used to slide head first and feet first down on these skateboards down hills on streets. And of course, when you're sliding down these streets, and in Georgia you have big hills, you can't see if cars are coming. You can't see if anything's ahead of you. And of course, this was the '80s, so we're not wearing helmets. So we're basically, like, street luging before I knew street luge was a thing And it just felt like the funnest thing to me, and that's probably why my parents are like, "Hey, bobsled might work for you," but-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:22 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 6:22 ... like I loved the risk-taking kind of aspect of that.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:26 How old were you when you were doing that?

Elana Meyers Taylor 6:27 Oh, gosh, probably six or seven. Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:30 And-

Elana Meyers Taylor 6:30 No concept that anything bad could happen or, like, cars could come or any... No, I was just like, "I wanna go fast. Let's go."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:38 The need for speed.

Elana Meyers Taylor 6:39 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:39 [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 6:40 Early age.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 6:40 Yeah. When your parents found out about that at age six, seven, were they like, "Great, you go do that. We love the adventure you..." Were they like, "Hold on a second. We need to intervene"? How did they handle this part of you that loved, you know, kind of interesting, somewhat risky things?

Elana Meyers Taylor 6:58 The rule in our house was just be in before the lights turned on.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:01 [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:02 So they did not care what I was doing. As long as I came back and the lights were turned on, and as long as I was being a good person, they really didn't care what my activities were.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:11 Mm-hmm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:11 Uh, I do remember, though, one time I got in trouble for riding my bike outside the neighborhood. So-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:16 Oh

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:16 ... I had kind of guidelines, like I had to stay in the neighborhood.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:19 Mm-hmm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:19 But outside of that, like, uh, they were pretty hands-off.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:23 Riding bike outside neighborhood, bad. Headfirst on a skateboard down hills, maybe into cars, fine, as long as you're home before the lights.

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:29 It was in the neighborhood.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:29 Got it. I get it.

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:30 So I guess it worked. [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:31 I get it. Did your doing that as a kid, like, obviously it further developed this part of you that sought adventure. I'm just curious how it related to your self-trust, like what your self-trust was like when you were growing up.

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:46 Physically, I trusted myself entirely.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 7:48 Uh-huh.

Elana Meyers Taylor 7:50 And almost at the point probably too much, um, which, you know, you'll see later in my career, later in my bobsled career, I was almost too daring with certain things. But as a child, like physically, I felt invincible, and that did carry into my adulthood, and that's why I was able to go into the bobsled.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:07 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 8:07 I mean, we have people try out for bobsled all the time, and you can tell for the first run whether or not this is gonna be for somebody or not just because of how they react. And a lot of times they'll react a certain way because they're not willing to go out there and take the risk. They're not willing to put their body-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:21 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 8:21 ... through certain things, or they're not... They can't get to that next level in order to overcome the fear of being in a bobsled.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:27 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 8:27 And so I feel like that kind of willingness to, like, face your fears was set at a early childhood in a predominantly safe way. I mean, you would say going down on a skateboard isn't exactly safe, but in a safer way than some other avenues you might think about as a child.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 8:43 Yeah. When you say you learned to physically trust yourself, what... Can you give me, I don't know, a memory of that or a moment where that, you know, kind of started to crystallize?

Elana Meyers Taylor 8:53 Yeah, I think the biggest way it started to crystallize is when I started playing softball. So I grew up most of my life playing softball. And when I started, I was terrible, like most kids are. You know, you just, you don't know how to catch. You don't know how to do those other things. But having the confidence gave me the ability to say, "Hey, you know what? I just need to put in a little bit more work. I'm gonna figure this out. It's not a matter of whether or not I can figure it out. It's that I haven't tried."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:20 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 9:20 "This... I'm new to this. I just need to put in the work and put in the effort, and then I'll figure it out." Like, it was never a question. And I think athletically that carried me throughout my entire career. It was never a question of if I could figure it out. It was just a matter of when.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:35 But talking about softball, you went to GW.

Elana Meyers Taylor 9:37 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:38 You set program, program records in nearly every offensive category. You were a pitcher and a shortstop, team MVP all four years. That's all correct?

Elana Meyers Taylor 9:47 Yeah. [laughs] Yes.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:48 Okay.

Elana Meyers Taylor 9:48 That's all correct.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:50 And yet y- you're saying softball started feeling like maybe I'm not as advanced as other people.

Elana Meyers Taylor 9:55 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 9:55 So you started as kind of more of a beginner, and then this is where you ended up.

Elana Meyers Taylor 9:59 Yes.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:00 T- yeah, just walk me through that arc.

Elana Meyers Taylor 10:02 Well, part of it, too, is I started softball at the age of eight or nine, which even at the time in the '80s, everybody said, "That's too late. You're never gonna make it. You're starting too late," which is just mind-boggling to me. Even now, like, my son got offered to be on a contact football team, and he's three. And you're like, "Why are we putting kids in this serious and organized sport this early?" And even, like I said, in the '80s and early '90s-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:28 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 10:28 ... there was always that pressure. Like, if you didn't do it then, if you didn't start that early, you were never gonna make it. But for me, growing up playing and having the opportunity to explore and figure out how my body worked in different ways, I mean, you're gonna figure a lot of different things about your body playing kickball or tetherball or dodgeball-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 10:45 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 10:45 ... or wiffle ball, all these different types of things that kids play on the playground versus organized sports. That gave me the advantage of going into softball. So when I got into softball, I wasn't as good as the other kids because they had been playing since they were five years old. And so it was just a matter of putting in the work, and fortunately, my parents helped in this regard. You know, they saw I had a passion in it, and they were like, "Hey, okay, if you wanna be good at this, then I'll help you put in the work. I'll show you what that looks like, and then you take it from there."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:12 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:12 And so I put in the work, and that's eventually how we were able to make it happen. Like, I determined at the age of nine that I was gonna be an Olympian. Thought it would be in softball. Didn't work out. But, you know, to have that foresight to know that I just needed to work for it was pretty-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:27 Wait, you were nine.

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:28 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:28 I mean, I have a nine-year-old and my other two are older, so that means they both were nine. And at nine-

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:36 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:36 ... you said, "I'm gonna be an Olympian." Where? When? Was this a fever dream? Was this, like, a conscious thought?

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:44 No, this was a conscious thought.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:46 Okay. [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:46 And I think growing up in a sports household-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:49 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:49 ... and seeing it, and I think part of it, too, is that confidence in my physical abilities-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 11:55 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 11:55 ... that started at such a early age is like, I see these people on TV doing this. I know I could make this happen. And it was like a conviction. Like, it's even hard to describe how much conviction you can have as a nine-year-old. You're like, "I don't know fractions yet, but I know in my heart of hearts that I'm gonna be an Olympian."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:12 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 12:13 And I just didn't know what sport it would be in. I thought it would be softball or a summer sport 'cause I grew up in Georgia. Uh, but lo and behold, there was a different path for me.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 12:27 Okay, I just wanna pause for a second to explain why we're here talking about the challenger spirit today. It's because we teamed up with Hot Wheels to create this miniseries, Challenge Accepted. I have this saying, we're preparing our kid for the road, not preparing the road for our kid, and what I mean by this is we want our kids to be resilient. We want them to trust themselves, not just handle the smooth parts of the road, but to handle the road whatever shape it ends up taking, which means we don't just want to give them a smooth, straight, easy road all the time, right? That's really the heart of Challenge Accepted, of this miniseries we're making right here with Hot Wheels because Hot Wheels believes it's so important for kids to be able to try, fail, try again, still struggle, learn from mistakes. You don't just hand kids a Hot Wheels track that's already assembled and tell them, "Have fun." You let them build it. You let them struggle to build it. You let them try to click the tracks in place and experiment with the angles of the loops and have that not work a bunch of times, have the car fall off the track, and that leads to more testing, different speeds, more play. That's what it's all about. What we're trying to understand in Challenge Accepted is what it actually takes in the early years to become resilient later on. How did our amazing, bold, successful guests on these episodes learn to try and fail and struggle and try again? What parenting lessons can we learn from them? And how do we help our kids build the type of growth mindset they all have? We're going to get to the bottom of this in this miniseries, and I wanna thank Hot Wheels so much for making this possible.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 14:18 And then here you are at GW. Was there a point there that you were just thinking, like, "I'm gonna do this rest of my life. Softball's gonna be my thing. That's who I am"?

Elana Meyers Taylor 14:27 That's what I went into GW being. I went in the entire thing and thought I was gonna play softball, go to the Olympics in softball, win a medal, and then become a softball coach, and that was gonna be my entire life up to the point it was... At GW, you know, it's this great academic institution. Like, I wanted to study coaching. And not to say there's not a lot to study under coaching and everything like that, but most of the time when you hear about GW, you hear about people going to law school or med school or politicians, and I have a lot of athletes that I played with who went on to work for politicians and still to this day, and all I was focused on was being a softball coach.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:02 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:02 Well, fortunately, and I didn't see it at that time-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:05 Uh-huh

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:05 ... I had an Olympic tryout.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:07 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:07 And I went to this Olympic tryout, was super excited, but I think I had put so much pressure on it that I completely choked. And it was objectively what I call the worst tryout in the history of tryouts, and it was... Like, people think I'm joking when I describe it that way. It's like, no, I threw the ball over a backstop at one point. My first at-bat was a strikeout, struck out swinging with the ball over my head. Like, it was really, really bad. And so softball, too, it's one of those things where there's so many athletes playing, if you have a disaster of a tryout like that, you're not getting invited back.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:39 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:39 So that dream was pretty much dashed, and so-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:42 Oof

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:42 ... it was one of those things where I was like, "But I still have this desire to be an Olympian. I just need to find the right sport."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:48 Did you get through that tryout like, "That was horrible," and the next day you're like, "I'm fine. I don't care. Moving on," or did, did it sit with you longer?

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:54 Oh-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 15:54 Like that... Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 15:55 Yeah, absolutely. Like, I just remember the tryout was in Oregon. I just remember sitting in the car after the tryout with my dad and just bawling my eyes out crying and just like, "What happened?" Like, "I'm such a much better player than this. I can't believe this happened. Like, it's over." And then they took softball out of the Olympics as well, so I knew there was gonna be no second chances at that point. So-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:16 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 16:16 ... at that moment, it was like this is the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody. Like, now in retrospect, you're like, that's a pretty big luxury if that's the worst thing to ever happen to anybody, but at the time, it was devastating. Um, but fortunately, you know, h- being there with my father, who was a professional athlete, like, he's like, "You know, this is a moment. We're here, but it happened for a reason, and you just need to keep training. Something will happen."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:40 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 16:41 "Keep training. Keep working hard, and something will happen. Like, it's not over till it's over."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:45 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 16:45 And so with that encouragement, I just went back. And yes, I was devastated, and yes, I didn't know what I was exactly gonna do next because I had built my whole life up to be an Olympic softball player, an Olympic coach-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 16:56 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 16:56 ... and, and a softball coach and all these types of things, and so when that didn't happen, I didn't know what to do, but I knew I could go to the gym and I could keep training.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:04 You know, it- it's interesting. So many things are going on in my head. You never felt so much pressure as that tryout.

Elana Meyers Taylor 17:10 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:12 I... And I think about everything you've said, and there's a little shift when you started talking about softball where you were, you were this kid who you love sports. You, you, you clearly love intensity.

Elana Meyers Taylor 17:21 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:21 Like, you like to work hard. You seek intense sensation. You know your body and... But going into the tryout, your identity wasn't, "I'm Elana, who loves to work hard and loves to do things intensely." It was, "I'm a softball player. I'm gonna be an O-" And so... And it's interesting if I think about my own moments where things don't go well, like, when I feel like my whole identity is riding on something really hard-

Elana Meyers Taylor 17:43 Yep

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:44 ... to kinda be in the zone.

Elana Meyers Taylor 17:45 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 17:47 But then something shifted. Like, okay, maybe the thing that is underneath is the same. "I like to work really hard. I'm gonna go to the Olympics," but there's a little more fluidity than just, "I have to be a softball player."

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:00 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:01 And so what, what allowed that to then get channeled into something, I- I don't know if I'd say it's the opposite of softball, but it's pretty-

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:09 [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:10 ... far in many ways from softball, bobsled?

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:12 Yeah. Well, part of it was exactly that, was the recognition that this identity as me as a softball player had to basically die. Like, it was over.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:22 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:22 So I needed to refine myself, and I needed to figure out who I was.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:27 Mm-hmm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:27 And so when the opportunity came up to go into bobsled, like- You can't put your identity in it, 'cause I don't know anything about it other than Cool Runnings. Like, I don't, I don't know what this sport is.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:37 [laughs] So glad you said that, 'cause I was like, "That was my o- that was my only research-

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:41 Yeah

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:41 ... that I did, was Cool Runnings."

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:43 Me, me too.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:43 Me too.

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:43 Me too, you know? And, and so you couldn't-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:46 Bobsled time

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:46 ... you couldn't go into there and, and have your whole identity wrapped around it. But during-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 18:50 Right

Elana Meyers Taylor 18:50 ... that phase of transitioning from softball to bobsled, like, that was, I was just training and didn't know what I was training for, but also I was doing other things. I was finally having the opportunity to go out and enjoy holidays with my family-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:04 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 19:04 ... and enjoy time with my sisters. And also, I went back to school, and I was actually studying to be a phlebotomist and, and work in exercise training-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:12 Oh

Elana Meyers Taylor 19:12 ... and then also go into med school, and that was my trajectory. Of course, all of that changed.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:16 Right.

Elana Meyers Taylor 19:17 Uh, but I didn't actually have a identity in one of those things, but I was just at that point where I was like, "This is my opportunity to find what else is out there."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:28 I'm just thinking about as a kid, your interests were pretty broad and diverse, and it, kind of all that energy gets put into softball, and then that doesn't work, and then you kind of went broad and diverse-

Elana Meyers Taylor 19:38 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:39 ... again, and then now comes bobsled. Okay. Is there a moment, and I've been dying to know, where someone said to you, "Elana,

Dr. Becky Kennedy 19:47 like, how about bobsled?" And were you like, "That's a great idea," or, "What? That's out of left field." Like, what was the moment that someone introduced that idea to you?

Elana Meyers Taylor 19:57 It was my parents, and they had watched bobsled. They had always watched it-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:02 Uh-huh

Elana Meyers Taylor 20:02 ... because, you know, Winter Olympics, we watch the Olympics and everything like that. And so they approached me and said, "Hey, this sport of bobsled, they look for strong, powerful athletes. You're a strong, powerful athlete. They constantly recruit. Why don't you give this a try?" And so they planted the seed, and I was like, "What else am I doing? I might as well. I've got nothing to lose." And so from being at the point with softball that I put so much pressure on myself where I had to perform, I had to, I had to make this work to be an Olympian, I kinda went into bobsled-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:31 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 20:31 ... with eyes wide open and was like, "Well, let's see what can happen." Like, the worst that could ha- the worst thing that could happen has already happened. I didn't make an Olympic team. So if I go into bobsled, the worst thing that could happen is I not make another Olympic team, but at that point, it's same difference.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:46 I already have that notch on my belt, so.

Elana Meyers Taylor 20:48 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:48 You know?

Elana Meyers Taylor 20:49 I have that experience.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:49 Yeah. [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 20:49 I know what that's like.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:51 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 20:51 So I might as well go in and just see what can happen.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 20:53 Yeah. And you, I guess you didn't have 15-ish years of what felt in some ways like pressure. It was almost like a free option. Nothing to lose.

Elana Meyers Taylor 21:02 Yep.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:02 Okay, so your parents present it to you. You don't initially say, "That's crazy." You think, "Sure. Why not?" And then what? Because I know you said you were new to softball at age eight, but here you are now, and my guess is, I don't know, you've never been to a bobsled training-

Elana Meyers Taylor 21:19 No

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:19 ... facility. [laughs] Like, you've never s- seen it even the same way. Softball's a little built in-

Elana Meyers Taylor 21:24 Right

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:24 ... to our culture in a little bit. So how, yeah, how did that happen?

Elana Meyers Taylor 21:27 Well, I think the bonus of Cool Runnings is it makes the sport look a lot easier than it is.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:31 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 21:32 It makes it look like, hey, I can get any four guys off the street and turn them into an Olympic bobsled team. And so I think most of us who try out for the sport have that impression going in, regardless of how much you've watched it, how much-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 21:45 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 21:45 ... even now modern bobsled or whatever, uh, regardless of how much you've watched it, you still think, "Oh, it's just sitting in the sled. How hard could this possibly be?" And so going in with that attitude, you're like, "Well, we'll see what happens. Like, I, I'm training." And, and the good news is, like, I went in, I was trained, I was fit, and so based off my athletic testing, they had told me-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:06 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 22:06 ... is like, "You would be a good fit for this sport. Now we have to get you in a sled to see if you actually like it." 'Cause that's the test for all of us is, like, can you actually handle the trip down the track? Can you handle going 80 miles per hour in ice chute down a track? I had athletic talent, so they wanted to make this work. Like-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:23 Mm-hmm

Elana Meyers Taylor 22:24 ... we always need new recruits. We need athletic people. And so they wanna make this work.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:28 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 22:28 And so they made sure I was with a really good driver and then sent me on my way to see what happened.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:32 Okay, tell me about the first run.

Elana Meyers Taylor 22:34 Oh, the first run was wild. I had no idea what to expect, and you just get down, and there's so much vibration. It's so loud, and you're just like, "What just happened?" And I think it was that feeling is like, "I don't know what that was, but I could do it again."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 22:50 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 22:50 If this is the path to make an Olympic team, I think I could tolerate this. Little do you know, like, there are way worse runs than my first run. [laughs] You don't know the scope of how bad it could really be, but for the most part, just even a good bobsled run isn't the most comfortable ride.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:06 I'm just thinking about your language there and, like, what a generalizable parenting lesson that is, life lesson. Your first run, you do it, louder, harder, but your thought is, "I guess I could do that again." You didn't say to yourself, "All right, I'll train for the next couple years." That's, like, a long horizon.

Elana Meyers Taylor 23:23 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:23 You're just saying, "I, I guess I could do that again."

Elana Meyers Taylor 23:26 Yep.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 23:26 It makes me think, like, one step at a time.

Elana Meyers Taylor 23:28 Yep. And that's exactly, you have to take bobsled one step at a time, because there is so much that goes into it. You're manipulating the sleds. You're like your own mechanic. You're doing all these different things, and you have no idea what you're doing. You're completely a novice. And fortunately, when I came on the team at the time, there was already this pairing that were silver medalists, and so I had the opportunity to be next to them and just learn as much as I could, and that's really what I took it as is, like, hey, these people are already the best in the world at doing this. I have an opportunity to learn from them, and I'm gonna see if I can learn as much as possible and try and figure this out on my

Elana Meyers Taylor 24:04 own.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:05 Do you feel like, if I think about certain tr- traits that you have that are clearly, like, 99th, 100th percentile, is it I'm really good at getting really good at things, or I'm really good about being a novice?

Elana Meyers Taylor 24:19 Really good at being a novice. And it's funny, 'cause within my household, I have a older sister and a younger sister, and both of them pick up things way easier than I do.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:29 Oh.

Elana Meyers Taylor 24:29 Way more athletic, like, are easy to pick stuff. So for me, it takes me a while to pick up stuff. Like, even when I first started bobsledding, I, I still wasn't very good. Like, I was loading into the sled like a softball player would. Uh, I was athletically very talented

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:42 Like this?

Elana Meyers Taylor 24:43 Like sliding in a sled, like a figure four slide, versus what they tell you to do is, like, long jump, and they're telling you long jump-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 24:49 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 24:49 ... in the sled, long jump. And the technique, they're telling you all these different things to power clean, and it's like I'm a softball player versus most of the athletes in bobsled come from track and field. So they're using terms that they all understand-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:00 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 25:00 ... but I have no idea what they're talking about. So I wasn't picking up what they were saying, and for me, I just needed a lot of reps. I needed a lot of runs. I needed a lot of opportunity-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:09 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 25:09 ... to give it a try. And so it took me a while to figure it out, but once I figure it out, I'm good to go.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:16 It's just mind-blowing to me how the things, me too, that I think I want for my kid are actually gonna maybe work more against them later in life than the opposite. Like, we all want our kids to be amazing at things.

Elana Meyers Taylor 25:30 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:30 Okay? And to focus on the sport and get really good, but later in life, like, I don't know, that has limited appli-

Elana Meyers Taylor 25:38 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:38 ... applicability, both because whatever sport they're good at, if it's a sport or if it's chess or debate or being in a play, whatever it is, chances are in the real world when competition gets stiffer, I don't know.

Elana Meyers Taylor 25:49 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:50 They, they might not be great at that thing, but even worse, getting used to being really, really good at something as a kid-

Elana Meyers Taylor 25:58 Yeah

Dr. Becky Kennedy 25:58 ... stops you from putting yourself in a position when you're older where you're willing to be a novice.

Elana Meyers Taylor 26:05 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:06 Which is, I, I agree, is kind of the most important thing in adulthood. Oh, I'll try that. Right? Oh, sure. I haven't tried that before, but let me see. And it's just so fascinating to hear that even an Olympic medalist would say, "Truly, I think I'm better at being a novice than being really good at things."

Elana Meyers Taylor 26:22 Oh, without a doubt.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:23 [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 26:24 And you actually see that in sport. Like, it actually bears out is, like, those, a lot of times the kids who are really good at juniors, the ones who are best in the world as juniors, don't end up making it to the Olympic level, don't ma- end up making it to the professional level because they haven't learned that ability to how to adapt and how to learn and how to continue to grow. It's like you were already good at some point and you were the best. You didn't have to learn the skills to become the best. You were naturally just there.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 26:51 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 26:51 And so a lot of times you'll see, and the other thing you'll see overrepresented in Olympic medalists is people who played multiple sports growing up, and because that need to play multiple sports or that ability to play multiple sports causes you to adapt. It causes you to think about sport differently, and it causes you to be a novice in each and every sport. Because unlike super specialized kids, you haven't had the hours, you haven't had the 10,000 hours to put into one thing, and so you have to constantly be learning in the sport you're in in whatever season because you're, quote-unquote, behind the eight ball of compared to the other kids who are specialized in it.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:27 And then I guess just you get more used to feedback-

Elana Meyers Taylor 27:30 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:31 ... from coaches, right? It- you, you just get used to kind of having to work hard for your starting spot. I always think about the story that Cooper Flagg, um, as soon as he was the best-

Elana Meyers Taylor 27:40 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:40 ... in his gym, his parents moved him to a new gym.

Elana Meyers Taylor 27:42 Yep.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:42 Like, never.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:43 You know? You cannot be the be- and, um, constantly, constantly a novice in a way.

Elana Meyers Taylor 27:48 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 27:48 Right? Constantly having to fight for things and take feedback to do better. Tell me a little bit how, how race has been a part of the challenges you face.

Elana Meyers Taylor 27:56 Well, it's funny because the reason I got into bobsled, one of the reasons I got into bobsled was Vonetta Flowers in 2002 became the first African American to win a gold medal, and she won it in the sport of bobsled. So even at that age, I was a freshman in college.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:10 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 28:10 Like, seeing her be able to do that, she looked like me. She was right down the road. She grew up on the same stretch of highway as I did, and so seeing that helped me believe it. Uh, but when I got in the sport, I didn't realize, like, she was one of one. There weren't many people who looked like us in the sport.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:27 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 28:27 And so throughout my entire career, I've really tried to make sure that it is a place where people who look like me and all kinds of people of color could feel comfortable, uh, because I'm a huge believer in, like, hey, in order to have the best talent in the US, we have to attract the best talent, and the best talent doesn't all look one way.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 28:46 Mm-hmm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 28:46 I think in bobsled we have a saying, like, it's as white as the snow, and historically it has been, but now to not only be in this point where I've made an impact, where I've been able to be in the sport because of Vonetta, but I've also influenced other people getting in the sport, and other people see me, and they're able to join the sport. We've been able to create a more inclusive space, and so it's been incredible to see the growth of the sport. And yes, Cool Runnings played a big part in that. Everybody's seen the Jamaicans. But it's funny is, like, that movie, that happened in '88 Olympic Games. Uh, but up until that point, there have been very few Black athletes who have gotten into the sport, even with the movie, even with the Disneyfication of it and all this kind of stuff like that. Um, but I think having the people actually in the sport day in and day out-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 29:33 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 29:33 ... competing and winning and stuff, it's really changed what the sport looks like, and I think it's made for a better sport in that sense. Um, but not to say it hasn't been without its struggles. I mean, you get the typical things at the, in early in the career. Like, it was funny. I started bobsled in 2007, but even in 2007 when I got on the team, I was meeting people who had never met Black people before, who grew up in towns in Idaho or Wyoming and whatever, and I was their first interaction with a Black person. And so navigating that, you know, feeling like, oh, I'm the entire representation of Black people that you have in your mind right now, you know, it's a lot to carry, but at the same time, I always believed is, like, you have commonalities. You can find commonalities within what you're doing within the sport, and if I go out there and I'm a good person within the context of sport, maybe I could change that person's mind or even influence what they now think about the first Black people they're meeting or the first, or Black people in general. Um-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:31 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 30:32 ... it's really been, it's been one of the greatest roles I've had in my life. It's also been one of the most challenging. You know, everybody's gonna have different experience in sports. Some people are gonna win Olympic medals, but the vast majority of people are not gonna win Olympic medals.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 30:47 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 30:47 But I believe sport has a power- To do things for people's lives. It has the power to change people's lives. It has the power to introduce them to people, allow them to see the world, and so many other things in that guard. So I want people to have that opportunity that I had, regardless of what they look like.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:03 So now you're a mom.

Elana Meyers Taylor 31:04 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:05 Two boys.

Elana Meyers Taylor 31:06 Yes.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:07 Nico and Noah. Jump

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:10 in there, like the transition from this intense, shy, funny, shy with peers, but not shy at all in seeking adventure kid, softball player, failed Olympian, not really, decorated Olympian, just in a different sport that you didn't see coming, also a mom. Like how, how has all this led you to this point, and what, what do you take from all those years and all these lessons in your parenting?

Elana Meyers Taylor 31:38 Um, one of the biggest things I think I take is that perspective, is that's what my kids gave me.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 31:44 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 31:44 Continuing to compete while I had kids gave me the perspective to know is like, hey, first of all, you're not defined by a single sport. Kids don't care whether you race. Kids don't care whether your race went well or poorly. They just don't care. They don't care if you have to be up at 6:00 AM the next morning for training, doesn't matter. And so your perspective, and my perspective co- shifted completely after trying to compete after I had my first son.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 32:09 Mm-hmm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 32:09 And also, it's weird because my first son, too, both my sons are deaf. Uh, my oldest has Down syndrome as well. But having your first kid with Down syndrome, it's like your definition of achievement also completely changes. What success looks like now completely changes, is like you go to the doctor every single, whatever, fir- first month, three months, six months, all these checkups, and they're asking you to check off on a list what your kid has achieved. And constantly at every single appointment, you're telling them, "My kid hasn't achieved. My kid hasn't done this yet. My kid hasn't walked or talked or any of these things." And so they define achievement as one thing, and even as an athlete, achievement is defined as one thing, it's the medals. But being a parent and taking that into an athlete, you know as an athlete is that your achievements are defined by other things. Like I define my achievement by the work I put in. I know how hard it is to win an Olympic medal. I know it's not guaranteed, and I know that my goal going into every single Olympics is that if I can be proud of the work I've done, then I'm successful. If I can be proud of the, my pre- my preparation going into that race, then I'm successful.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 33:19 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 33:19 And it's kind of the same with parenting. Like if I can be proud of how I parent my children, then I'm gonna be happy regardless of how it eventually turns out. And for our sons, we don't know what it, the future holds. Like every day it's adapting and, and trying to figure this out, and it's, it's the same for any parent, disability or not.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 33:36 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 33:36 You don't know how it's gonna turn out, but are you proud of the work you put in? Are you proud of how you worked to be the best parent you could?

Dr. Becky Kennedy 33:44 So you've built a career on sport, on play in a way. What does play look like now with your kids?

Elana Meyers Taylor 33:49 Oh gosh. It still is sport a little bit. Um, it's not only introducing them to different sports, and it's funny they, I don't know that they're gonna be bobsledders or anything like that. They really love Olympic weightlifting for some reason, maybe 'cause I'm terrible at it. But also play in the sense that I love to bobsled because it's a puzzle at the end of the day. It's a puzzle of how I put-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 34:12 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 34:12 ... each curve together. Every track in the world is different. Every curve in the world is different, and so I have to put the puzzle together correctly in order to win races. And so for them, it's introducing different types of play. It's introducing what sparks their joy. For me, putting that puzzle together sparks my joy. Like there's no activity I love more than driving a bobsled down the track.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 34:34 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 34:35 And for me now, especially in this season, it's about finding what sparks that joy in them. What is that play? And for right now, right now, my younger son, it's animals. My older son, it's moving and it's being out and, and so I see myself in that, in that way because he loves to move, he loves to feel his body, and he's relatively new to it. Like he just started walking at the age of five, so he's really exploring what his body can do, and I find a lot of play in that sense with him. It's been a lot of fun to explore what that looks like for him. And my younger son, like he's just all over the place, but animals are his thing. So it's really fun now to figure out what play looks like for them, and

Elana Meyers Taylor 35:13 to also realize that it looks different for each kid.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 35:16 Yeah. Okay, take me to this moment, two heats behind, walking into your final run in Italy, 41, your fifth Olympics. What's going on? What's going on in your head right before?

Elana Meyers Taylor 35:30 Right before, absolutely nothing's going on in my head. Like I got up and I had my earphones playing and all this kind of stuff like that. Like I was generally warming up. I'm a pretty anxious person.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 35:41 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 35:41 And so before the race-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 35:43 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 35:43 ... I'm pretty anxious, but once the race starts-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 35:46 Mm

Elana Meyers Taylor 35:46 ... and actually once the warmups and everything and the preparation starts, like I have a job to do. So everything's scripted out, like what time I'm gonna start my warmups, what time I'm gonna go put on my uniform, what time I'm gonna walk up to the start house. So everything's scripted out. And so once I'm actually in the environment of the race, I get to just go perform.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 36:04 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 36:04 And I love that moment. Like that is the moment that I live for, is like I just get to go there and throw down the best possible runs I can.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 36:13 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 36:13 Win, lose, or draw, throw it out there and see what happens. And that's what's kinda hard sometime being an athlete, is because you put your hard work, your heart, your soul out there for everyone to see.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 36:24 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 36:24 And for me, I love that moment, and not all athletes do.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 36:27 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 36:27 But for me, when I step to the line at the Olympic stage, basically I'm just taking in the entire environment. I'm hearing every single cheer. I'm feeling what the air feels like blowing in the track. I'm feeling everything because I know, like at that moment, something great could happen or something bad could happen. But I've put in the work and I'm gonna see what happens regardless.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 36:50 It's interesting for me to hear you say, "I'm not thinking anything." Like once... I think about a lot of things, but once I'm in that moment I have a process. You've probably done it a million times.

Elana Meyers Taylor 36:59 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 36:59 It's step by step, and I don't know if the flow state, but s- it just m- something shifts.

Elana Meyers Taylor 37:05 Yeah, and for me, it's the crowd, is being able to hear the crowd and being able to feel the electricity in the air. And I remember very distinctly in 2018 at those Olympics, like when the va- Like, there's thousands of people up there screaming and-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 37:19 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 37:19 ... yelling and the v- And I could hear my mom's voice-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 37:22 Oh

Elana Meyers Taylor 37:22 ... out of that crowd. And most athletes, when you go to bobsled line, they'll tell you they don't hear anything, uh, but I hear it all, and I could distinctly hear my mom's voice right before I took off.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 37:32 Wow.

Elana Meyers Taylor 37:32 And for me, it's reassuring. It's like the feeling is like, "Hey, everybody's out here to watch you do what you love to do. Let's go put on a show. Let's go entertain and see-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 37:41 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 37:41 ... what happens."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 37:42 And in terms of what's happened, what's that feeling like on the podium?

Elana Meyers Taylor 37:47 Oh, man. Um, it's been incredible every single time, but the recent one and the gold medal takes the cake. Like, I... Like, every single time you get to stand up there and get a medal wrapped around you... I mean, my first medal, when I won a bronze medal, first Olympics, like, you couldn't tell me anything. I was on cloud nine. I had done it. I thought that was all I needed to do with my life. Like, nobody could tell me anything. Uh, but fast-forward to winning a gold medal finally, it was, it was overwhelming in the sense that I know how much it took to win that medal, but I also know how much everyone sacrificed to win that medal. It wasn't just me on that podium, even though it was. It was all those people that I took with me to actually win that.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:30 You have it with you?

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:31 Yes.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:32 Thought I-

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:32 Of course I do

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:33 ... saw it, Elana.

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:34 And it's actually the lightest of all my medals, lightest and smallest. I was

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:38 like, "I finally win a gold medal and it's... I get the smallest one?"

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:41 What is that about?

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:42 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:42 You know what? Still.

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:45 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:45 Substantial in what it represents and amazing.

Elana Meyers Taylor 38:48 Thank you.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 38:49 I wanna talk about this phrase, challenge accepted, right? Doing this series all along that theme. I don't think a kid hears the phrase challenge accepted and needs to hear that means I'm gonna win or I'm gonna be the best or I'm not scared. What does, what does that phrase mean to you? What has it meant across your life? Challenge accepted.

Elana Meyers Taylor 39:08 Yeah, for me, it's actually been that. It's been going after something regardless of how the results turned out.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 39:15 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 39:15 Like, I think at some point softball was a challenge accepted, and it's like make an Olympic team or not. Like, that was break or bust. Like, there was only two options there. But I think as I've continued on, like, it's really turned into, "Hey, let's see what ha- can happen." And you know, what's funny is, like, my husband's really played a lot of, a big p- part in how I've, like, been able to shift things is because he always told me, like, when you're faced with a challenge or you're faced with an opportunity, you have two options. You could either do it, and worst-case scenario, you get a good story out of it, or you don't even try. And he's like, "Sometimes just doing it is worth a story."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 39:54 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 39:54 And so that's how we kinda take on things is like, "Okay, will I get a good story out of this if it doesn't work out?"

Dr. Becky Kennedy 40:00 Mm.

Elana Meyers Taylor 40:00 And in most cases, it's yes, so you might as well accept the challenge and, and take it on. And, and that's the kinda thing we try to pass down to our sons, um, and it's kind of how this whole journey started. Like, when I had my second son, like, the recovery from that birth was-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 40:15 Oh

Elana Meyers Taylor 40:15 ... really rough and everything like that, but it was one of those kinds of things. Like, this is a challenge. Why don't we see what happens? Like, you just... Nobody's done this. We could just take it on and see what can happen, and the worst thing that could happen is I don't make an Olympic team, but I've made four Olympic teams prior to this, and I'll get a good story. Like, I'll get a good story about me traveling around the, around the world with two kids who are deaf and, and trying to figure this out. Um, and it, it's, like, in retrospect, it's a little crazy. But at the same time, like, I wouldn't change it for anything because it, it was one of those moments, like, for me, it was always important to try and take on the challenge and not only go for it but also show my kids that I'm going to fail. In that challenge, I was gonna fail, but it was important to s- for them and for me to show them that their mom could stand back up when she does ultimately fail at this challenge she took after.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 41:08 I, I really love that, and I'm just thinking how usable it is for families too where, you know, sometimes we paint this kind of fork as, okay, did you win? Let's not focus so much on winning 'cause also it just limits what we're willing to do. Okay, what did you learn? But there's something about the language of a story. Uh, it's just lighter.

Elana Meyers Taylor 41:24 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 41:25 And it's true. Like, when something doesn't go our way, I don't know what I learned. I, maybe I'll figure it out later, but I, I, I might have a story-

Elana Meyers Taylor 41:31 Yeah

Dr. Becky Kennedy 41:32 ... if I don't have to ha- may not have a lesson. And I think about the dinner table of, you know, you know what we're gonna do at dinner is, you know, we all have different things we try during the day. We all have different times we're willing to be a beginner or put ourselves out there. I'm gonna share stories, and they're funny stories. They're ridiculous stories. I'm just thinking about a kid who grows up with some of that. Looking at the next adventure when they're out of their house is, "Ugh, no matter what, this is, this is gonna be a good story-

Elana Meyers Taylor 41:55 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky Kennedy 41:55 ... to bring to my, you know, to my dinner table." It's, it's so freeing.

Elana Meyers Taylor 41:58 Yeah.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 41:58 [laughs]

Elana Meyers Taylor 41:59 And that's how we connect too as people. It's like we connect over shared stories.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 42:02 Yeah.

Elana Meyers Taylor 42:02 It's like humans started off sitting around a fire and sharing stories, and, and-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 42:07 Yep

Elana Meyers Taylor 42:07 ... we haven't lost that. Like, that hasn't been out of our DNA. Like, that's still to our core who we are. We wanna share stories. Like, even-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 42:15 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 42:15 ... parents, you wanna share stories with your kids. You wanna share the different things you've done in your life with your kids. You want them to not only learn lessons from it so they don't have to go through the same things, but also you wanna be able to connect with them in that way. You want to be able for them to understand that you were a kid once too, and you went through some of the things they're going through too, and you do that by sharing stories. Like, if you just tell your kid is like, "Hey, don't do that," like, they're gonna be like, "Okay, you just told me something. Like, I, I don't know why-

Dr. Becky Kennedy 42:44 Yeah

Elana Meyers Taylor 42:44 ... you told me this or anything." But if you explain to them, it's like, "Hey, let me tell you the story about one time when I tried this thing that you're trying to do and it didn't work out."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 42:52 Yep.

Elana Meyers Taylor 42:52 "And this is why I'm telling you not to do this, because I have a story to tell you. I have a experience that could teach you something."

Dr. Becky Kennedy 42:59 What does challenge accepted mean to you now in a season where challenge might not be a race right in front of you?

Elana Meyers Taylor 43:06 Challenge Accepted now looks completely different. Um, for me, it really is using the time to take care of myself and take care of myself within the context of like, I also have two children I have to take care of. I also have to figure out, you know, what are we doing about schools? What are we doing about therapies? What are we doing about all these different things? And I think as an athlete, you're always taking care of yourself in a certain way. You're taking care of yourself with the guard of, "Hey, I need to go out there and win an Olympic medal." And in some ways, it's very narcissistic and selfish because you have to make sure you're sleeping eight hours a night. You have to do X, Y, and Z because your body is your reasoning. But now, that idea of self-care and that idea of looking after myself is a completely different challenge, 'cause what does that look on a daily basis when I have to be up first thing in the morning to take my son to school, and it's super important that he has his activities and stuff, and how do I take care of myself within this time? And also, how do I recover from 20 years of sport? Like, it's done its number. It's-- hasn't been this l- the easiest thing transitioning out of sport and, and figuring out what's next. And so that's really the next challenge is how do you figure out how to take care of yourself within this context of you're still a mom at the end of the day.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 44:23 Yeah. Beautiful. Well, thank you. I-I love hearing all your stories.

Elana Meyers Taylor 44:29 Thanks. [laughs]

Dr. Becky Kennedy 44:29 And you're an incredible storyteller. It's, it's not lost on me that you're talking at the end about, um, how we connect through stories, and you started by talking about being a shy kid, um, with peers.

Elana Meyers Taylor 44:40 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 44:40 But I'm thinking about how your adventurous spirit brought you so many stories. Now you use those stories to form such deep connection to people. So it feels very a full circle, so thank you.

Elana Meyers Taylor 44:50 Thank you.

Dr. Becky Kennedy 44:57 Here's what I wanna leave you with, an idea, and then I'm gonna tell you the exact conversation I'm going to have with my own kids over dinner, just in case it resonates and you wanna steal any part of it. Okay, but here's the idea. I think a lot of us have kids who are focused on certain things. Maybe it's softball. It's probably not bobsled. It might be the arts or performance or some activity that they feel good at. And it's really interesting, this pivot point when something is something a kid loves and they're good at into, ooh, all of a sudden, we've kind of started looking at our kid like this is their identity. My kid is a softball player. My kid is an artist. My kid is an actor. My kid is a piano player. And at some point, there might be a pivot, and at that point, when your kid doesn't make the team or, I don't know, they injure their finger and can no longer play piano, it's going to feel like their world comes crashing down. And I just think there's such a lesson from what we heard from Elana, which is, yes, that's gonna happen. It's gonna come crashing down, and there is something that's probably unimaginable now that's on the other side. There's a lot of stuff that makes your kid who they are that has nothing to do with this one identity. That's what I'm gonna be thinking about. Now, here's what I'm gonna talk to my kids about tonight. I'm gonna pose the same question that I posed to Elana, and I'll walk through how I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna probably say something like this: "Is it better to be someone who's really, really good at something, or is it better to be someone who's really comfortable, really good at being a beginner?" Now, I'm gonna kinda pose it like that, as if it's just my own pontification. I always feel like when I pose a question and I kind of wonder aloud about it, my kids are more willing to wonder about it with me because it doesn't seem like I'm looking for a specific answer. Anyway, maybe my kids will take the bait, say something. To be honest, if you're thinking, "My kid's just gonna say, 'Why are you being weird? Ask a normal question,'" my kid might say that, too. I just tend not to take the bait. You can say, "Well, I was just listening to this podcast." That's what I'm gonna say. "I just had this podcast, and it was just so interesting to me that here is one of the most decorated Olympians, six medals, including a gold, and she doesn't think about herself as someone who's really good at something. She thinks about someone who's really good at being a beginner, trying new things, not worrying how good she is at it, learning, and just trying again." Anyway, do I think my kid's gonna say, "Mom, that's really gonna help me when I do math this year because n-" No. Do I think my kid's gonna say anything at all that's profound? No. I think my kids are normal kids like yours. But I do think it really sinks in, hopefully as part of other conversations, and then you can refer back to it. Anyway, if that resonates, try it. Let me know how it goes, and if your kid does say something profoundly important, please email podcast@goodinside.com. I would love to celebrate that with you. All right. Now let's end the way we always do. Place your feet on the ground, place a hand on your heart, and let's remind ourselves even as we struggle on the outside, which maybe is a way of saying even as we're a beginner, we remain good inside. I'll see you soon. [outro music]