The Funny Kid Becomes the Dad: How We’re Raised with Kenan Thompson

We all grow up playing a role in our family — the responsible one, the easy one, the funny one.For Kenan Thompson, that role started early.In this episode of *How We’re Raised*, Dr. Becky talks with Kenan about how becoming “the funny one” shaped the way he connects with people — and what it looks like to parent with more intention today. They discuss: - The connection between humor and emotional survival - What made Kenan’s childhood feel grounded despite early fame - Why he’s choosing a different approach to discipline with his daughters - And what he hopes his kids will one day say about how they were raised A conversation about identity, family patterns, and raising kids with both warmth and boundaries. Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast Thank you to our partners for making this episode of Good Inside possible! -Airbnb: https://click.pscrb.fm/2f: Host your home or book your next stay on Airbnb. -Hiya: https://hiyahealth.com/: Use the code DRBECKY for 50% off your first order -Skylight: https://myskylight.com/becky: Get $30 off a 15-inch Skylight Calendar at myskylight.com/becky -Care.com: For a limited time, you can use the code GOOD35 to save 35% on a Care.com Premium Membership* *Offer applies to initial term of Care.com membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 4/26/26. Care.com does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit www.care.com/safety

Dr. BeckyhostKenan Thompsonguest

Apr 14, 202630mWatch on YouTube ↗

EVERY SPOKEN WORD

30 min read · 6,138 words

0:00 – 2:09
Choosing the light: Kenan’s philosophy on comedy and joy
1. BEDr. Becky
  Hi. [gentle music]
2. KTKenan Thompson
  It's one of the biggest kind of ironic situations that a lot of comics are dark people.
3. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
4. KTKenan Thompson
  But I wanna be a, a light person, you know what I mean? I wanna be a person that provides joy, but also has joy.
5. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  And, like, what are we gonna do? Are we gonna dwell on, you know, negativities? Like, I would much rather try to spin towards the light.
7. BEDr. Becky
  Here's something I think about a lot: the roles we play as kids. The funny one, the responsible one, the easy one. These roles don't just disappear when we grow up. They often become the traits the world sees us as or rewards us for, and when all this happens early enough, it can shape how we move through every room we enter. My guest today, someone a lot of us feel like we grew up with. Kenan Thompson started performing as a kid in Atlanta, and became a household name on Nickelodeon shows like All That and Kenan & Kel. Today, he's the longest-serving cast member in history of Saturday Night Live. For decades now, he's been the person who can walk into a scene and make it funnier, lighter. But what interests me most isn't just that Kenan is funny. He's also incredibly steady. In an industry that's known for chewing people up, especially people who start young, Kenan has built a career defined by consistency, generosity, and longevity. And he's also the dad of two daughters, which means he's in a very different role now, not just performing for a room, but shaping the environment his kids grow up inside. Today, we're continuing a series called How We're Raised, conversations about the homes we grew up in and how those early experiences shape the way we live, lead, and parent today. This isn't about celebrity or comedy. It's about the kid underneath the performer, the roles we learned early, the gifts those roles gave us, and sometimes the pressure that came with them. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside. I'm so glad you're here.
2:09 – 3:26
The second-child role: tension breaker and observer in the family system
1. KTKenan Thompson
  I mean, I, I feel like second kids are, you know, a little more, like, wild and free of, like, a lot of the pressures of being, like, a firstborn child.
2. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
3. KTKenan Thompson
  And just, like, that firstborn child for some reason just has the mentality of, like, "I have to get it all right," basically.
4. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
5. KTKenan Thompson
  You know what I mean? And the s- I think, like, a second child is somewhat free of that a little bit, and kind of, you know, got a little bit of a cheat code with an older sibling to be able to just kinda, like, either ask questions or watch and observe and learn-
6. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
7. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know, much faster. Um, and kind of take or leave the pressure a little bit.
8. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
9. KTKenan Thompson
  And be a little bit of the tension breaker, honestly, because you have that perspective where it's like, "Why are you guys arguing?"
10. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
11. KTKenan Thompson
  "What happened?" You know, like, okay, they didn't read one assignment. Like, is it worth all this, like, anger and stress? Like, I remember kinda being in that-
12. BEDr. Becky
  Mm
13. KTKenan Thompson
  ... position when it wasn't my fault. It's just like, all right, well, you know, let's all just kind of, [laughs] you know, figure out a way to turn this energy another kinda way or something, or try to tell a joke. But-
14. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
15. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know, at a young age, you don't really, you know, overly identify with what's happening necessarily. You just kinda want everybody to feel better. So yeah, I remember kind of just being witnesses to-
16. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
17. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know, tensions and wanting to break it basically, or send it in another direction.
3:26 – 4:05
How family roles form: Dr. Becky’s systems lens on “the funny one”
1. BEDr. Becky
  Let's zoom out, or just maybe zoom back before we come back here.
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
3. BEDr. Becky
  So one of the things I think a lot about in families, and why I love working with parents and kids is, I think about a family a lot as a system.
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
5. BEDr. Becky
  And I feel like within a system, we all act individually, but we're all really impacted by the system we're in.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
7. BEDr. Becky
  And we can take on roles, and we kind of, with our siblings, like, d- we'll see what's left over. We'll pick up what's left over.
8. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
9. BEDr. Becky
  So if I, if I go back, your identity as someone who, I don't even know how you would describe it, is, is funny, seeks humor-
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
11. BEDr. Becky
  ... creates humor-
12. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm
13. BEDr. Becky
  ... can find a nuance in a moment. When, when did that start?
4:05 – 5:46
Cable generation comedy school: movies, quoting lines, and early influence
1. KTKenan Thompson
  I mean, I guess my sense of humor came along with my brothers, us watching a lot of TV early-
2. BEDr. Becky
  Hmm
3. KTKenan Thompson
  ... 'cause we're cable generation kids, so-
4. BEDr. Becky
  Same.
5. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah. We grew up watching, you know, movies over and over and over again because, I mean, latchkey-ish, you know, kinda just being in one place where, you know, your parents kinda know you're safe or whatever, you know, TV was a companion, so-
6. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah. What'd you watch?
7. KTKenan Thompson
  You know, uh, pretty much in those days it was Coming to America and Trading Places and things like that. Um, but, like, also, like, Spies Like Us and Ghostbusters and a lot of SNL people's work in general, basically-
8. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
9. KTKenan Thompson
  ... 'cause I think those are the, the main kinda comedy, you know, powerhouses that were actually, you know, putting movies out. And, like, Spies Like Us, I don't think, you know, no names could've gotten that done just because it's such a crazy story. [laughs]
10. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
11. KTKenan Thompson
  And just, like, a story. But, you know, since it was, you know, Chase and Aykroyd, it got done kinda thing.
12. BEDr. Becky
  Yep.
13. KTKenan Thompson
  So yeah, it started early, you know? And, like, we used to take road trips 'cause my parents are from, you know, Virginia, and we grew up in Atlanta. So to pass the time, this is before anything, you know, kind of electronic was concerned, like, you had maybe S- what was it? It's, like, See 'n Say or something. Like, what was the most lo-fi digital thing back in the day? Those road trips were long and boring-
14. BEDr. Becky
  Yep
15. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know what I mean? And we used to just, quote, Coming to America-
16. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
17. KTKenan Thompson
  ... back and forth, you know what I mean?
18. BEDr. Becky
  Wipers?
19. KTKenan Thompson
  Yep.
20. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs] Exactly.
21. KTKenan Thompson
  From the moment-
22. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
23. KTKenan Thompson
  Yes, it is my birthday. Yeah. From, from moment one.
24. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
25. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
26. BEDr. Becky
  And so-
27. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
28. BEDr. Becky
  ... did you re- was it then where you're like, "All my brothers were kinda funny," or were you like, "No, I kinda had a knack for the moment, and I kinda was the one making everyone laugh"?
5:46 – 6:35
Roots of humor in family culture: dad as entertainer and nights gathered together
1. KTKenan Thompson
  A bit of both. Like, my dad for sure.
2. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
3. KTKenan Thompson
  My dad's a joke teller. My mother's side of the family were, like, country people. They were out in the woods kinda thing, and they stayed in the house at night. Like, once the sun went down, it was dark out there.
4. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
5. KTKenan Thompson
  So it's like f- 5:00 still, you know? [laughs] So m- so many hours in the night, and we're all just gathered around kind of like the stove to keep everybody warm.
6. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
7. KTKenan Thompson
  Who's gonna entertain us? You know, not these three channels that they have on TV. Someone's gotta be kind of like the-
8. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
9. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know, the, the party person.
10. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
11. KTKenan Thompson
  And like my dad had that personality.
12. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
13. KTKenan Thompson
  So it was nice to be able to relate to that, and also not necessarily have to be that kind of thing.
14. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
15. KTKenan Thompson
  And then, yeah, me and my brother just had this bond of, you know, our senses of humor being very, very similar. Like, what we were struck by in those movies were-
16. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
17. KTKenan Thompson
  ... very similar.
6:35 – 7:54
When being funny backfires: misreading the room and learning social limits
1. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah. Did, did your sense of humor, being funny, is that e- ever anything that you feel like worked against you?
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Only in times where I was naive to how other people were taking it.
3. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
4. KTKenan Thompson
  You know? Like I was, I've been, you know, kind of confidently naive in, in, you know, certain circumstances where it works in my favor, like auditioning for things, and not being afraid to, you know, throw a joke out there and then, you know, pretty much just assume people are gonna laugh at it kind of thing-
5. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
6. KTKenan Thompson
  ... in, in auditions, or assume that I was coming across in a charming kind of fashion or anything like that. Like, I was very kind of naively confident like that in that sense. But I wasn't necessarily too aware of in normal settings that someone might be, like, getting a- annoyed by this-
7. BEDr. Becky
  Mm
8. KTKenan Thompson
  ... or, you know, I'm being, you know, I'm pestering them in some sort of way.
9. BEDr. Becky
  Mm. Mm-hmm.
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, once I started going on a tangent, I couldn't tell- [laughs]
11. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
12. KTKenan Thompson
  ... if it was annoying until I actually would have a reaction.
13. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
14. KTKenan Thompson
  You know what I mean? So I didn't know where the finish line was until that person responded-
15. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
16. KTKenan Thompson
  ... kind of thing. And yeah, it was usually a negative response that was the teacher, basically.
17. BEDr. Becky
  Yep.
18. KTKenan Thompson
  So... [laughs]
7:54 – 9:24
Dad life offstage: everyday family time and being the boundary-setter
1. BEDr. Becky
  We kind of know what your Saturday nights look like.
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
3. BEDr. Becky
  But your Sunday, your weekend, an ordinary Tuesday, give me a sense.
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah. I mean, I'm all about, like, chasing the family around, you know, when I'm not working. That's just... Like, that's my happy place, just knowing what the little ones are up to. They're so busy.
5. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  You know? I, I want to be around them as much as possible basically, you know?
7. BEDr. Becky
  They're not that little, right? Well, how old are they?
8. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah, no, they're seven and 11 now, and it is going way too fast.
9. BEDr. Becky
  Ugh.
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, I just had a two-week break, and I can't believe it's over already.
11. BEDr. Becky
  And what is... Yeah. What, what is, let's say, a Sunday in your house that your kids like?
12. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah. I mean, New York is such a good place to, like, just be out basically.
13. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
14. KTKenan Thompson
  So we go to dinners, or we go to, you know, museums. Ice cream museum the other day. It was a lot of fun.
15. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
16. KTKenan Thompson
  Um-
17. BEDr. Becky
  What might people maybe expect of you as a father based on at least the version of you they know, uh, you know, from TV? Or maybe-
18. KTKenan Thompson
  [laughs]
19. BEDr. Becky
  ... what might someone not expect?
20. KTKenan Thompson
  I mean, I guess, like, people don't see me in, like, the disciplinarian role, because they don't know me like that. You know what I mean? But I, you know, I'm a father, so, like, I have to, you know, show where the boundaries really are kinda thing. You know what I mean?
21. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
22. KTKenan Thompson
  And I don't wanna raise irresponsible citizens, basically, and I don't want society to correct them, so-
23. BEDr. Becky
  Yep
24. KTKenan Thompson
  ... I think that's one of the more surprising things, you know, when I'm just, like, straight, straight-faced dad mode-
25. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
26. KTKenan Thompson
  ... kinda thing or whatever, but, you know, we still have a good time.
9:24 – 11:07
Parenting with fame nearby: protecting childhood and keeping “Dad” normal
1. BEDr. Becky
  Do you think about that, especially in the context of, I don't know, raising kids with fame around them? Like, do the boundaries matter that much more? The, the try to- trying to avoid that-
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
3. BEDr. Becky
  ... what, classic entitlement around that?
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah, I mean, in the beginning, like, when they were, when they were young, I was very, you know, kinda territorial around, you know, picture taking and stuff like that, you know, out in public or whatever. And then they got to a point where they kinda were just like, "Dad, why don't you just take the picture?" kinda thing. So, like, once they felt fine about it, you know, it, it didn't bother me as much, because I just wanted to protect, you know, their childhood. You know, you only get, you know, your one childhood kinda thing.
5. BEDr. Becky
  Yep.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  So I wanted, um, our time together to kinda be pure of that, if you will, kinda thing-
7. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
8. KTKenan Thompson
  ... and just have it be as normal as possible. Like, you know, at home I'm just Dad.
9. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Basically, as opposed to, like, you know, Kenan. Like, it's so funny when people call me by my first and last name. I'm like, "You don't know me very well." [laughs]
11. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
12. KTKenan Thompson
  You know what I mean? Like, no one just, like, calls their friend by their first and last name. [laughs]
13. BEDr. Becky
  Yep.
14. KTKenan Thompson
  It's a, it's a pretty, like, immediate indicator that you're a stranger.
15. BEDr. Becky
  Kenan Thompson, like that-
16. KTKenan Thompson
  And I remember it went from Kenan and Kel to Kenan and Thompson. You know what I mean? So-
17. BEDr. Becky
  People called you Kenan-
18. KTKenan Thompson
  People used to call me Kenan and Kel.
19. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
20. KTKenan Thompson
  People used to call me Kel. People called me Tracy Morgan a lot. Like, people called me a lot of, lot of different things.
21. BEDr. Becky
  Oh.
22. KTKenan Thompson
  Um, and then once people started, like, calling my last name, I was like, oh, wow, I'm, I'm really out here, basically. [laughs]
23. BEDr. Becky
  You know, I'll have people call me my whole Instagram handle on the street, Dr. Becky At Good Inside. I was like, "Uh." [laughs]
24. KTKenan Thompson
  You know what I mean? Okay, okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you.
25. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
26. KTKenan Thompson
  And, and, uh, I'll take a quick picture, but-
27. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah. [laughs]
28. KTKenan Thompson
  [laughs]
29. BEDr. Becky
  But I, I'm thinking-
30. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
11:07 – 13:02
Porousness and performance: balancing audience feedback with inner compass
1. BEDr. Becky
  ... and for what you do, you know, one of the things I think about a lot is something I call porousness, like how porous are we to our environment, how much do we notice things-
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
3. BEDr. Becky
  ... and take it in versus how much are we kind of a little more self-focused.
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
5. BEDr. Becky
  And one's not better than the other. They both kind of matter.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
7. BEDr. Becky
  But, um, being attentive to your audience, wanting to get their reaction-
8. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
9. BEDr. Becky
  ... versus really kind of paying attention to your own line of thought and, like, allowing a kind of a pause to, to not totally throw you.
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
11. BEDr. Becky
  Uh, uh, I'm trying, I'm trying to think where you are in that spectrum, 'cause I'd imagine both matter in your line of work.
12. KTKenan Thompson
  [clears throat]
13. BEDr. Becky
  You can't be totally taken by the audience's immediate reaction, but you're probably also need to kind of track it.
14. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah. And before SNL, I think I was always like, "Well, that's not my responsibility." You know what I mean?
15. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
16. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, I didn't write this, you know, or whatever. I'm just kind of just doing whatever someone else asked me to, so-
17. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
18. KTKenan Thompson
  If it's rubbing you wrong, you know, it's, it's not on me.
19. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
20. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, I think we all apologize together kind of thing or whatever. And then SNL is when, you know, that relationship between, you know, call and response-
21. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
22. KTKenan Thompson
  ... was real-
23. BEDr. Becky
  Mm
24. KTKenan Thompson
  ... basically because it's like, oh, no, they want you to write, and they want you to write well.
25. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
26. KTKenan Thompson
  Not just the people at the show, the audience.
27. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
28. KTKenan Thompson
  You know what I mean? This is an audience of pe- there's people out there that have watched every single show.
29. BEDr. Becky
  Yep.
30. KTKenan Thompson
  You know what I mean? And you have the audacity to come in and try to present what you think is funny. But good luck with that because it's a pressure cooker, and it's also everybody's dream job that's doing comedy or voices or sketch. You know what I mean? There's a lot of people that wanna be in that position kind of thing.
13:02 – 14:51
Staying steady under pressure: the hardest part is finding the next funny thing
1. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah. People have described you as kind of calm, unflappable.
2. KTKenan Thompson
  [laughs]
3. BEDr. Becky
  Is that something that you've always-
4. KTKenan Thompson
  I get flappable.
5. BEDr. Becky
  You get fla- you're flappable?
6. KTKenan Thompson
  I'm flappable.
7. BEDr. Becky
  Okay, we're gonna now describe you as flappable.
8. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah, yeah.
9. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
10. KTKenan Thompson
  I can get flappable. No, I get very concerned, you know? Like-
11. BEDr. Becky
  What's the hardest part of your job for you?
12. KTKenan Thompson
  It's funny, Marcelo, I was just reading mar- something Marcelo said.
13. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
14. KTKenan Thompson
  He's like, "The most annoying part of the show is coming up with the next funny thing." Doing comedy, as far as comedy is concerned, on that part of my job, that is, I think, the hardest thing is just to constantly find new things, you know?
15. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
16. KTKenan Thompson
  It's, it's tough.
17. BEDr. Becky
  When you have success, um, does that, does that kind of, I don't know, make the stakes... It can feel like it can make the stakes even higher for the next time.
18. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
19. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
20. KTKenan Thompson
  Because it's like now you have to validate the success, but it's like the success was the validation in the first place.
21. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
22. KTKenan Thompson
  And people miss that part, you know what I mean?
23. BEDr. Becky
  Uh-huh.
24. KTKenan Thompson
  'Cause they're like, "All right, well, let me just reestablish." And on the next one and on the next one and on the next one-
25. BEDr. Becky
  Mm
26. KTKenan Thompson
  ... and it's like you're kind of competing with an infinity mirror.
27. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
28. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, you'll never see the, the, the point where you're gonna actually catch it.
29. BEDr. Becky
  Yep.
30. KTKenan Thompson
  And then actually legitimately, like, transfer to the next level of appreciation from people, if you will. So [laughs] take the success at the moment. You know what I mean? And then remove, I guess, the pressures for the next one.
14:51 – 17:58
Measuring success without losing yourself: “gaze in” as well as “gaze out”
1. BEDr. Becky
  Well, I think that's kind of what I was thinking about around porousness, where-
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
3. BEDr. Becky
  ... something I talk to parents a lot about is we have to gaze out in the world and notice something I did. How did it land and-
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
5. BEDr. Becky
  ... how did my boss think about my project-
6. KTKenan Thompson
  Right
7. BEDr. Becky
  ... or whatever it is. But we live in a world now where I think we gaze out at the complete absence of gazing in.
8. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
9. BEDr. Becky
  Like, gazing in would be like, "Did I like it? Did..."
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
11. BEDr. Becky
  Right? And that doesn't mean-
12. KTKenan Thompson
  We forget about self, yeah
13. BEDr. Becky
  ... that's the whole... Right. That's not the whole truth either. But without that, you, you completely, completely lose yourself.
14. KTKenan Thompson
  Yes, because you're starting with your sense of humor or your idea-
15. BEDr. Becky
  Right
16. KTKenan Thompson
  ... or what you think is humorous about any given specific subject matter. You know what I mean?
17. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
18. KTKenan Thompson
  So why leave yourself out of it at the end? You know what I mean?
19. BEDr. Becky
  Right, right.
20. KTKenan Thompson
  It's like, no, like, keep yourself kind of involved. It's not necessarily about you-
21. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
22. KTKenan Thompson
  ... but your instincts, your taste, you know what I mean, is a large part of this, you know? And you shouldn't, like, gloss over that-
23. BEDr. Becky
  Yes
24. KTKenan Thompson
  ... just for the sake of trying to please the audience, if you will.
25. BEDr. Becky
  That's right. I guess I'm picturing a, a circle of kind of what I think is funny or like-
26. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
27. BEDr. Becky
  ... no one really cares what I think is funny, so-
28. KTKenan Thompson
  Oh, come on. Of course we do
29. BEDr. Becky
  ... maybe you think it's funny.
30. KTKenan Thompson
  [laughs]
17:58 – 20:38
Failure, resilience, and parenting: learning, moving on, and modeling perspective
1. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm. Has, has comedy taught you how to deal with failure? Maybe failure. I, I don't love that word, it feels so final, but struggle, something not landing. Oh, I thought that was gonna go well, [laughs] turns out it didn't.
2. KTKenan Thompson
  I think comedy, but like also like, you know, being in the business or like working young, you know, kind of taught me that, you know, there's always more opportunities. You know what I mean? So I don't necessarily have to wallow in failure too much. Like, okay, I failed there, you know, but here comes another opportunity where it's like you might succeed on this, you know, based on what you learned from this previous situation-
3. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
4. KTKenan Thompson
  ... or whatever. If you can look back at failures without too much emotion and try to find a lesson in it.
5. BEDr. Becky
  Yep. Yep.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  There's a lesson in everything, you know what I mean? Sometimes a lesson is that that wasn't funny, but, you know, if you can find tools for the next kind of thing, it's great. And SNL especially is another kind of like, don't dwell on this one specific show. There's another show coming. Opportunity will continue to come, you know, as the sun rises-
7. BEDr. Becky
  Yep
8. KTKenan Thompson
  ... kind of thing, so.
9. BEDr. Becky
  The show will go on.
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah.
11. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
12. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's definitely helped with not wallowing.
13. BEDr. Becky
  Is that perspective helpful in your parenting, like with your kids?
14. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah. Absolutely.
15. BEDr. Becky
  How?
16. KTKenan Thompson
  Especially trying to-
17. BEDr. Becky
  Mm
18. KTKenan Thompson
  ... convey that message.
19. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
20. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know? And I guess there's no better example than by leading by example. It's like, all right, if you need an example, look at what I do. You know what I mean? Like, I've done so many different kinds of projects. Not every one of them is great, but if I dwelled on the fact that I did a bad one, I wouldn't have been able to do a good one following behind it. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, Peter Cottontail is not gonna be the same as Trolls, but we try the hardest, you know, and do our best each time, and things turn out to where... Not to say that Peter Cottontail was bad.
21. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
22. KTKenan Thompson
  It's just, it's just different. You know what I mean?
23. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
24. KTKenan Thompson
  And success-wise, it's like night and day, you know?
25. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
26. KTKenan Thompson
  Like Trolls is a ginormous global thing kind of thing, and Peter Cottontail I think was on DVD.
27. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
28. KTKenan Thompson
  You know? So [laughs] very specific kind of audience, but you have to be careful how you look at your successes and failures and stuff like that.
29. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
30. KTKenan Thompson
  Not micro-focused on either one of them-
20:38 – 23:00
Big feelings at home: panic around tears and a bias toward logic and light
1. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah. When your daughters are upset or having a hard moment-
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
3. BEDr. Becky
  ... what, what shows up for you?
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Panic. [laughs]
5. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
6. KTKenan Thompson
  Um, and also like, wow, you know what I mean? Like, okay. 'Cause I'm not, I guess, overly... I'm not a big crier, so to see tears come from me was like, yo, like, why? What's hap- Like, let's pull back and like stop the tears, please, by, by any means. You know what I'm saying? Kind of thing, and get to a place where we can discuss the differences between what you would like to have happen and what, you know, [laughs] a, a parent's discipline, you know, should allow to happen-
7. BEDr. Becky
  To happen
8. KTKenan Thompson
  ... kind of thing. And just find a middle ground without so much crying, but not necessarily diminishing, you know, them going there emotionally. And like it's a reminder of me, like we're all human, you know what I mean?
9. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
10. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, I should, maybe I should allow myself to be more emotional, but, you know-
11. BEDr. Becky
  And you're not a very-
12. KTKenan Thompson
  I've been blessed, you know? Go ahead
13. BEDr. Becky
  ... you're not a very emotional... Were you an emotional kid? Were you-
14. KTKenan Thompson
  No, not really.
15. BEDr. Becky
  No.
16. KTKenan Thompson
  I mean, I'm just kind of like even-keeled.
17. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
18. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, yes, I get, you know, more like upset angry-wise about things when they don't, you know, when they... I guess it's a sad thing because it's like I'm such a logical thinker, s- anything sad makes me mad. So, you know, I try to like not get so temperamental kind of, like Taurussy temper kind of whatever.
19. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
20. KTKenan Thompson
  Um, and just, you know, stay even so when bad things happen it's like, all right, well, that happened, and like what are we gonna do? Like are we gonna move, figure out ways to move forward, or are we gonna like dwell on, you know, negativities? Like I would much rather try to spin towards the light, you know-
21. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
22. KTKenan Thompson
  ... if, if possible.
23. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
24. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, not necessarily not feel the moments, you know, but-
25. BEDr. Becky
  But you're oriented towards-
26. KTKenan Thompson
  I don't wanna-
27. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
28. KTKenan Thompson
  ... yeah, I don't wanna engage in sadness, you know?
29. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
30. KTKenan Thompson
  I don't wanna engage in, you know, being angry. I don't wanna engage in, in none of that. I wanna engage in the good times. Like I do comedy for a living, you know?
23:00 – 25:00
Breaking generational patterns: moving away from corporal punishment
1. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm. Yeah. Are there things you wanna do differently as a dad for your girls than what was true in your childhood?
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah, we used to get whoopings, man, you know? So start there. [laughs] We've already been doing that, and like very like no hands, you know-
3. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
4. KTKenan Thompson
  ... um, hands off of everyone, feet to yourself kind of thing.
5. BEDr. Becky
  Mm.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  You know, and then u- use your words-
7. BEDr. Becky
  Yep
8. KTKenan Thompson
  ... if you will. Yeah, that's, that's four, if you will.
9. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
10. KTKenan Thompson
  I have to stop it. But yeah, that's, that's kind of-
11. BEDr. Becky
  That's a big one
12. KTKenan Thompson
  ... the approach these days. And it's a huge one because, I mean, there's arguments for, you know, being straightened out traumatically, [laughs] unfortunately, but you, you feel me?
13. BEDr. Becky
  Uh, uh. [laughs]
14. KTKenan Thompson
  It's, it... But at the same time, like no, we can, we can definitely raise children without switches and belts and, and, you know, spankings and stuff like that-
15. BEDr. Becky
  Mm
16. KTKenan Thompson
  ... or whatever. And, you know, there's plenty of cases to, to prove it, so like why not-
17. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah
18. KTKenan Thompson
  ... go that route? And like, yes, you may have to have a little more patience or- Say things a little more often or be a little more on top of situations when they do arise, but that's your responsibility, yeah.
19. BEDr. Becky
  Are you proud of yourself for that?
20. KTKenan Thompson
  I am very, you know, for being open to learning that approach, you know, and not just doing everything that, you know, I was raised around. Not to say that it was a negative, but it was just-
21. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
22. KTKenan Thompson
  ... you know, probably my parents were raised 10 times worse than that-
23. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
24. KTKenan Thompson
  ... kind of thing, you know, and it just gets less and less and less as the generations go on or as generations learn or evolve or whatever it is.
25. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
26. KTKenan Thompson
  Um, but yeah, I'm very proud of myself for that approach because it's just more loving.
27. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
28. KTKenan Thompson
  You know? It's just, it's warmer, and it's, you know, I feel like it's a closer-knit bonding experience to, to kind of go through the, the rights and wrongs of raising a child or raising a child to see right and wrong.
25:00 – 30:34
Unfunny Bunny and the power of reading together: closeness, risk, and knowing your child
1. BEDr. Becky
  What, what role, um, maybe now, maybe when your kids were younger, did children's books play in your home?
2. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah, I mean, I feel like they go hand-in-hand with childhood. Like, there's nothing better than things that are for you, for your world, and that's kind of what, you know, kids' books, you know, kinda glow-in-the-dark toys, anything, you know, it just felt very much for me and my time.
3. BEDr. Becky
  Oh, agreed. And what, what prompted Unfunny Bunny?
4. KTKenan Thompson
  Unfunny Bunny came from wanting to do, always kinda wanting to do a kids' book. When I did my first memoir book, I was like, "Well, I wanna make a book, you know, for readers. That would be fun." But along that journey, I'd learned about kind of, my colleagues all had done memoirs and a kids' book.
5. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm.
6. KTKenan Thompson
  You know? And it was such a fun space, and the titles were so good.
7. BEDr. Becky
  [laughs]
8. KTKenan Thompson
  Like, you know, This Book Has No Pictures, and, you know, There's a Monster at the End of This Book-
9. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
10. KTKenan Thompson
  ... and blah, blah, blah, and I was like, "This is such a fun world." And I had such a good time growing up in an environment where it was like kids rule kinda thing. That's what like the Nickelodeon kind of overall theme was, was like, this is our world kinda thing.
11. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah. And what do you hope-
12. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
13. BEDr. Becky
  ... the book does between parents and kids when they read it?
14. KTKenan Thompson
  This sorta thing, you know, let's all put a kid here, put a... You know, maybe where you're at your lake house, where you're sitting-
15. BEDr. Becky
  Mm-hmm
16. KTKenan Thompson
  ... by a fire and there's a Christmas tree, or you're in the, you know, in the car, or you're on a train, you know?
17. BEDr. Becky
  Yeah.
18. KTKenan Thompson
  Just any sort of time passing together is, you know, my, my main goal with that.
19. BEDr. Becky
  But you're also doing something powerful in your body movements. Like, a children's book has a way of literally bring a kid and a parent together. Like, you're usually-
20. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
21. BEDr. Becky
  ... on a lap. There's touching. There's closeness. It's like this is our moment. I always love the conversations that happen after I read a, a book because I think even with this-
22. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
23. BEDr. Becky
  ... one, to be able to s- whether you've told jokes publicly or not-
24. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm
25. BEDr. Becky
  ... we all take risks. We all try something.
26. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm-hmm.
27. BEDr. Becky
  You know, it doesn't go the way-
28. KTKenan Thompson
  Yeah
29. BEDr. Becky
  ... we want. Such a nice opportunity to share a moment. You did that with your kid.
30. KTKenan Thompson
  Mm.

Episode duration: 30:35

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Choosing the light: Kenan’s philosophy on comedy and joy

The second-child role: tension breaker and observer in the family system

How family roles form: Dr. Becky’s systems lens on “the funny one”

Cable generation comedy school: movies, quoting lines, and early influence

Roots of humor in family culture: dad as entertainer and nights gathered together

When being funny backfires: misreading the room and learning social limits

Dad life offstage: everyday family time and being the boundary-setter

Parenting with fame nearby: protecting childhood and keeping “Dad” normal

Porousness and performance: balancing audience feedback with inner compass

Staying steady under pressure: the hardest part is finding the next funny thing

Measuring success without losing yourself: “gaze in” as well as “gaze out”

Failure, resilience, and parenting: learning, moving on, and modeling perspective

Big feelings at home: panic around tears and a bias toward logic and light

Breaking generational patterns: moving away from corporal punishment

Unfunny Bunny and the power of reading together: closeness, risk, and knowing your child

Get more out of YouTube videos.