The Funny Kid Becomes the Dad: How We’re Raised with Kenan Thompson

Dr. Becky 0:00 Hi. [gentle music]

Kenan Thompson 0:04 It's one of the biggest kind of ironic situations that a lot of comics are dark people.

Dr. Becky 0:09 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 0:09 But I wanna be a, a light person, you know what I mean? I wanna be a person that provides joy, but also has joy.

Dr. Becky 0:16 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 0:17 And, like, what are we gonna do? Are we gonna dwell on, you know, negativities? Like, I would much rather try to spin towards the light.

Dr. Becky 0:28 Here's something I think about a lot: the roles we play as kids. The funny one, the responsible one, the easy one. These roles don't just disappear when we grow up. They often become the traits the world sees us as or rewards us for, and when all this happens early enough, it can shape how we move through every room we enter. My guest today, someone a lot of us feel like we grew up with. Kenan Thompson started performing as a kid in Atlanta, and became a household name on Nickelodeon shows like All That and Kenan & Kel. Today, he's the longest-serving cast member in history of Saturday Night Live. For decades now, he's been the person who can walk into a scene and make it funnier, lighter. But what interests me most isn't just that Kenan is funny. He's also incredibly steady. In an industry that's known for chewing people up, especially people who start young, Kenan has built a career defined by consistency, generosity, and longevity. And he's also the dad of two daughters, which means he's in a very different role now, not just performing for a room, but shaping the environment his kids grow up inside. Today, we're continuing a series called How We're Raised, conversations about the homes we grew up in and how those early experiences shape the way we live, lead, and parent today. This isn't about celebrity or comedy. It's about the kid underneath the performer, the roles we learned early, the gifts those roles gave us, and sometimes the pressure that came with them. I'm Dr. Becky, and this is Good Inside. I'm so glad you're here.

Kenan Thompson 2:09 I mean, I, I feel like second kids are, you know, a little more, like, wild and free of, like, a lot of the pressures of being, like, a firstborn child.

Dr. Becky 2:19 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 2:19 And just, like, that firstborn child for some reason just has the mentality of, like, "I have to get it all right," basically.

Dr. Becky 2:24 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 2:24 You know what I mean? And the s- I think, like, a second child is somewhat free of that a little bit, and kind of, you know, got a little bit of a cheat code with an older sibling to be able to just kinda, like, either ask questions or watch and observe and learn-

Dr. Becky 2:38 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 2:38 ... you know, much faster. Um, and kind of take or leave the pressure a little bit.

Dr. Becky 2:44 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 2:45 And be a little bit of the tension breaker, honestly, because you have that perspective where it's like, "Why are you guys arguing?"

Dr. Becky 2:53 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 2:53 "What happened?" You know, like, okay, they didn't read one assignment. Like, is it worth all this, like, anger and stress? Like, I remember kinda being in that-

Dr. Becky 3:00 Mm

Kenan Thompson 3:01 ... position when it wasn't my fault. It's just like, all right, well, you know, let's all just kind of, [laughs] you know, figure out a way to turn this energy another kinda way or something, or try to tell a joke. But-

Dr. Becky 3:12 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 3:12 ... you know, at a young age, you don't really, you know, overly identify with what's happening necessarily. You just kinda want everybody to feel better. So yeah, I remember kind of just being witnesses to-

Dr. Becky 3:22 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 3:23 ... you know, tensions and wanting to break it basically, or send it in another direction.

Dr. Becky 3:26 Let's zoom out, or just maybe zoom back before we come back here.

Kenan Thompson 3:30 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 3:30 So one of the things I think a lot about in families, and why I love working with parents and kids is, I think about a family a lot as a system.

Kenan Thompson 3:38 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 3:39 And I feel like within a system, we all act individually, but we're all really impacted by the system we're in.

Kenan Thompson 3:44 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 3:44 And we can take on roles, and we kind of, with our siblings, like, d- we'll see what's left over. We'll pick up what's left over.

Kenan Thompson 3:51 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 3:51 So if I, if I go back, your identity as someone who, I don't even know how you would describe it, is, is funny, seeks humor-

Kenan Thompson 4:00 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 4:00 ... creates humor-

Kenan Thompson 4:01 Mm

Dr. Becky 4:01 ... can find a nuance in a moment. When, when did that start?

Kenan Thompson 4:05 I mean, I guess my sense of humor came along with my brothers, us watching a lot of TV early-

Dr. Becky 4:11 Hmm

Kenan Thompson 4:11 ... 'cause we're cable generation kids, so-

Dr. Becky 4:14 Same.

Kenan Thompson 4:15 Yeah. We grew up watching, you know, movies over and over and over again because, I mean, latchkey-ish, you know, kinda just being in one place where, you know, your parents kinda know you're safe or whatever, you know, TV was a companion, so-

Dr. Becky 4:29 Yeah. What'd you watch?

Kenan Thompson 4:30 You know, uh, pretty much in those days it was Coming to America and Trading Places and things like that. Um, but, like, also, like, Spies Like Us and Ghostbusters and a lot of SNL people's work in general, basically-

Dr. Becky 4:43 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 4:44 ... 'cause I think those are the, the main kinda comedy, you know, powerhouses that were actually, you know, putting movies out. And, like, Spies Like Us, I don't think, you know, no names could've gotten that done just because it's such a crazy story. [laughs]

Dr. Becky 4:56 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 4:56 And just, like, a story. But, you know, since it was, you know, Chase and Aykroyd, it got done kinda thing.

Dr. Becky 5:02 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 5:02 So yeah, it started early, you know? And, like, we used to take road trips 'cause my parents are from, you know, Virginia, and we grew up in Atlanta. So to pass the time, this is before anything, you know, kind of electronic was concerned, like, you had maybe S- what was it? It's, like, See 'n Say or something. Like, what was the most lo-fi digital thing back in the day? Those road trips were long and boring-

Dr. Becky 5:25 Yep

Kenan Thompson 5:25 ... you know what I mean? And we used to just, quote, Coming to America-

Dr. Becky 5:28 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 5:28 ... back and forth, you know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 5:29 Wipers?

Kenan Thompson 5:30 Yep.

Dr. Becky 5:31 [laughs] Exactly.

Kenan Thompson 5:32 From the moment-

Dr. Becky 5:33 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 5:33 Yes, it is my birthday. Yeah. From, from moment one.

Dr. Becky 5:36 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 5:36 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 5:37 And so-

Kenan Thompson 5:38 Yeah

Dr. Becky 5:38 ... did you re- was it then where you're like, "All my brothers were kinda funny," or were you like, "No, I kinda had a knack for the moment, and I kinda was the one making everyone laugh"?

Kenan Thompson 5:46 A bit of both. Like, my dad for sure.

Dr. Becky 5:48 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 5:48 My dad's a joke teller. My mother's side of the family were, like, country people. They were out in the woods kinda thing, and they stayed in the house at night. Like, once the sun went down, it was dark out there.

Dr. Becky 5:57 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 5:59 So it's like f- 5:00 still, you know? [laughs] So m- so many hours in the night, and we're all just gathered around kind of like the stove to keep everybody warm.

Dr. Becky 6:07 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 6:08 Who's gonna entertain us? You know, not these three channels that they have on TV. Someone's gotta be kind of like the-

Dr. Becky 6:14 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 6:15 ... you know, the, the party person.

Dr. Becky 6:16 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 6:16 And like my dad had that personality.

Dr. Becky 6:18 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 6:18 So it was nice to be able to relate to that, and also not necessarily have to be that kind of thing.

Dr. Becky 6:24 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 6:25 And then, yeah, me and my brother just had this bond of, you know, our senses of humor being very, very similar. Like, what we were struck by in those movies were-

Dr. Becky 6:34 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 6:34 ... very similar.

Dr. Becky 6:35 Yeah. Did, did your sense of humor, being funny, is that e- ever anything that you feel like worked against you?

Kenan Thompson 6:43 Only in times where I was naive to how other people were taking it.

Dr. Becky 6:47 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 6:47 You know? Like I was, I've been, you know, kind of confidently naive in, in, you know, certain circumstances where it works in my favor, like auditioning for things, and not being afraid to, you know, throw a joke out there and then, you know, pretty much just assume people are gonna laugh at it kind of thing-

Dr. Becky 7:08 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 7:08 ... in, in auditions, or assume that I was coming across in a charming kind of fashion or anything like that. Like, I was very kind of naively confident like that in that sense. But I wasn't necessarily too aware of in normal settings that someone might be, like, getting a- annoyed by this-

Dr. Becky 7:32 Mm

Kenan Thompson 7:32 ... or, you know, I'm being, you know, I'm pestering them in some sort of way.

Dr. Becky 7:36 Mm. Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 7:36 Like, once I started going on a tangent, I couldn't tell- [laughs]

Dr. Becky 7:39 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 7:40 ... if it was annoying until I actually would have a reaction.

Dr. Becky 7:43 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 7:43 You know what I mean? So I didn't know where the finish line was until that person responded-

Dr. Becky 7:46 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 7:46 ... kind of thing. And yeah, it was usually a negative response that was the teacher, basically.

Dr. Becky 7:52 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 7:53 So... [laughs]

Dr. Becky 7:54 We kind of know what your Saturday nights look like.

Kenan Thompson 7:56 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 7:56 But your Sunday, your weekend, an ordinary Tuesday, give me a sense.

Kenan Thompson 8:00 Yeah. I mean, I'm all about, like, chasing the family around, you know, when I'm not working. That's just... Like, that's my happy place, just knowing what the little ones are up to. They're so busy.

Dr. Becky 8:10 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 8:11 You know? I, I want to be around them as much as possible basically, you know?

Dr. Becky 8:15 They're not that little, right? Well, how old are they?

Kenan Thompson 8:17 Yeah, no, they're seven and 11 now, and it is going way too fast.

Dr. Becky 8:21 Ugh.

Kenan Thompson 8:21 Like, I just had a two-week break, and I can't believe it's over already.

Dr. Becky 8:25 And what is... Yeah. What, what is, let's say, a Sunday in your house that your kids like?

Kenan Thompson 8:30 Yeah. I mean, New York is such a good place to, like, just be out basically.

Dr. Becky 8:36 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 8:36 So we go to dinners, or we go to, you know, museums. Ice cream museum the other day. It was a lot of fun.

Dr. Becky 8:43 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 8:43 Um-

Dr. Becky 8:44 What might people maybe expect of you as a father based on at least the version of you they know, uh, you know, from TV? Or maybe-

Kenan Thompson 8:51 [laughs]

Dr. Becky 8:51 ... what might someone not expect?

Kenan Thompson 8:53 I mean, I guess, like, people don't see me in, like, the disciplinarian role, because they don't know me like that. You know what I mean? But I, you know, I'm a father, so, like, I have to, you know, show where the boundaries really are kinda thing. You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 9:08 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 9:08 And I don't wanna raise irresponsible citizens, basically, and I don't want society to correct them, so-

Dr. Becky 9:15 Yep

Kenan Thompson 9:16 ... I think that's one of the more surprising things, you know, when I'm just, like, straight, straight-faced dad mode-

Dr. Becky 9:21 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 9:21 ... kinda thing or whatever, but, you know, we still have a good time.

Dr. Becky 9:24 Do you think about that, especially in the context of, I don't know, raising kids with fame around them? Like, do the boundaries matter that much more? The, the try to- trying to avoid that-

Kenan Thompson 9:33 Yeah

Dr. Becky 9:33 ... what, classic entitlement around that?

Kenan Thompson 9:35 Yeah, I mean, in the beginning, like, when they were, when they were young, I was very, you know, kinda territorial around, you know, picture taking and stuff like that, you know, out in public or whatever. And then they got to a point where they kinda were just like, "Dad, why don't you just take the picture?" kinda thing. So, like, once they felt fine about it, you know, it, it didn't bother me as much, because I just wanted to protect, you know, their childhood. You know, you only get, you know, your one childhood kinda thing.

Dr. Becky 10:03 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 10:03 So I wanted, um, our time together to kinda be pure of that, if you will, kinda thing-

Dr. Becky 10:11 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 10:11 ... and just have it be as normal as possible. Like, you know, at home I'm just Dad.

Dr. Becky 10:17 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 10:17 Basically, as opposed to, like, you know, Kenan. Like, it's so funny when people call me by my first and last name. I'm like, "You don't know me very well." [laughs]

Dr. Becky 10:25 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 10:25 You know what I mean? Like, no one just, like, calls their friend by their first and last name. [laughs]

Dr. Becky 10:31 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 10:32 It's a, it's a pretty, like, immediate indicator that you're a stranger.

Dr. Becky 10:35 Kenan Thompson, like that-

Kenan Thompson 10:36 And I remember it went from Kenan and Kel to Kenan and Thompson. You know what I mean? So-

Dr. Becky 10:40 People called you Kenan-

Kenan Thompson 10:42 People used to call me Kenan and Kel.

Dr. Becky 10:43 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 10:43 People used to call me Kel. People called me Tracy Morgan a lot. Like, people called me a lot of, lot of different things.

Dr. Becky 10:49 Oh.

Kenan Thompson 10:50 Um, and then once people started, like, calling my last name, I was like, oh, wow, I'm, I'm really out here, basically. [laughs]

Dr. Becky 10:55 You know, I'll have people call me my whole Instagram handle on the street, Dr. Becky At Good Inside. I was like, "Uh." [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 10:58 You know what I mean? Okay, okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you.

Dr. Becky 11:02 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 11:02 And, and, uh, I'll take a quick picture, but-

Dr. Becky 11:04 Yeah. [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 11:06 [laughs]

Dr. Becky 11:06 But I, I'm thinking-

Kenan Thompson 11:07 Yeah

Dr. Becky 11:07 ... and for what you do, you know, one of the things I think about a lot is something I call porousness, like how porous are we to our environment, how much do we notice things-

Kenan Thompson 11:15 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 11:15 ... and take it in versus how much are we kind of a little more self-focused.

Kenan Thompson 11:20 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 11:20 And one's not better than the other. They both kind of matter.

Kenan Thompson 11:23 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 11:23 But, um, being attentive to your audience, wanting to get their reaction-

Kenan Thompson 11:27 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 11:27 ... versus really kind of paying attention to your own line of thought and, like, allowing a kind of a pause to, to not totally throw you.

Kenan Thompson 11:36 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 11:37 Uh, uh, I'm trying, I'm trying to think where you are in that spectrum, 'cause I'd imagine both matter in your line of work.

Kenan Thompson 11:42 [clears throat]

Dr. Becky 11:42 You can't be totally taken by the audience's immediate reaction, but you're probably also need to kind of track it.

Kenan Thompson 11:49 Yeah. And before SNL, I think I was always like, "Well, that's not my responsibility." You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 11:55 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 11:55 Like, I didn't write this, you know, or whatever. I'm just kind of just doing whatever someone else asked me to, so-

Dr. Becky 12:01 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 12:02 If it's rubbing you wrong, you know, it's, it's not on me.

Dr. Becky 12:06 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 12:06 Like, I think we all apologize together kind of thing or whatever. And then SNL is when, you know, that relationship between, you know, call and response-

Dr. Becky 12:16 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 12:16 ... was real-

Dr. Becky 12:17 Mm

Kenan Thompson 12:17 ... basically because it's like, oh, no, they want you to write, and they want you to write well.

Dr. Becky 12:22 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 12:23 Not just the people at the show, the audience.

Dr. Becky 12:25 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 12:25 You know what I mean? This is an audience of pe- there's people out there that have watched every single show.

Dr. Becky 12:29 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 12:29 You know what I mean? And you have the audacity to come in and try to present what you think is funny. But good luck with that because it's a pressure cooker, and it's also everybody's dream job that's doing comedy or voices or sketch. You know what I mean? There's a lot of people that wanna be in that position kind of thing.

Dr. Becky 12:45 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 12:46 So it's not like you can just assume everybody's gonna let you figure it out for the sake of being fair.

Dr. Becky 12:51 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 12:51 You know what I mean? I got very lucky, but I was able, I think, to service the shows in other ways while I figured out the writing part of it all.

Dr. Becky 12:58 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 12:58 Thank God. So yeah.

Dr. Becky 13:00 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 13:00 No, it's, it's intense.

Dr. Becky 13:02 Yeah. People have described you as kind of calm, unflappable.

Kenan Thompson 13:06 [laughs]

Dr. Becky 13:06 Is that something that you've always-

Kenan Thompson 13:08 I get flappable.

Dr. Becky 13:08 You get fla- you're flappable?

Kenan Thompson 13:09 I'm flappable.

Dr. Becky 13:10 Okay, we're gonna now describe you as flappable.

Kenan Thompson 13:11 Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Becky 13:12 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 13:12 I can get flappable. No, I get very concerned, you know? Like-

Dr. Becky 13:15 What's the hardest part of your job for you?

Kenan Thompson 13:18 It's funny, Marcelo, I was just reading mar- something Marcelo said.

Dr. Becky 13:22 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 13:23 He's like, "The most annoying part of the show is coming up with the next funny thing." Doing comedy, as far as comedy is concerned, on that part of my job, that is, I think, the hardest thing is just to constantly find new things, you know?

Dr. Becky 13:39 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 13:39 It's, it's tough.

Dr. Becky 13:40 When you have success, um, does that, does that kind of, I don't know, make the stakes... It can feel like it can make the stakes even higher for the next time.

Kenan Thompson 13:49 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 13:50 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 13:50 Because it's like now you have to validate the success, but it's like the success was the validation in the first place.

Dr. Becky 13:57 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 13:57 And people miss that part, you know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 13:59 Uh-huh.

Kenan Thompson 13:59 'Cause they're like, "All right, well, let me just reestablish." And on the next one and on the next one and on the next one-

Dr. Becky 14:03 Mm

Kenan Thompson 14:03 ... and it's like you're kind of competing with an infinity mirror.

Dr. Becky 14:08 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 14:08 Like, you'll never see the, the, the point where you're gonna actually catch it.

Dr. Becky 14:12 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 14:12 And then actually legitimately, like, transfer to the next level of appreciation from people, if you will. So [laughs] take the success at the moment. You know what I mean? And then remove, I guess, the pressures for the next one.

Dr. Becky 14:27 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 14:28 And then the success on the next one starts with you. How do you feel about it?

Dr. Becky 14:32 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 14:33 You know what I mean? Did you enjoy that sketch that you put up and blah, blah, blah.

Dr. Becky 14:36 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 14:36 And, like, you can't lie to yourself. You can be like, "Yeah, I, I'm the one that liked it," but the room didn't laugh. Like, that's not a success. You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 14:42 Right.

Kenan Thompson 14:42 Like, you can't [laughs] be naive in that way, but you can kind of let the finish line be with yourself, if you will.

Dr. Becky 14:51 Well, I think that's kind of what I was thinking about around porousness, where-

Kenan Thompson 14:54 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 14:54 ... something I talk to parents a lot about is we have to gaze out in the world and notice something I did. How did it land and-

Kenan Thompson 15:00 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 15:00 ... how did my boss think about my project-

Kenan Thompson 15:02 Right

Dr. Becky 15:02 ... or whatever it is. But we live in a world now where I think we gaze out at the complete absence of gazing in.

Kenan Thompson 15:09 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 15:09 Like, gazing in would be like, "Did I like it? Did..."

Kenan Thompson 15:11 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 15:11 Right? And that doesn't mean-

Kenan Thompson 15:12 We forget about self, yeah

Dr. Becky 15:13 ... that's the whole... Right. That's not the whole truth either. But without that, you, you completely, completely lose yourself.

Kenan Thompson 15:19 Yes, because you're starting with your sense of humor or your idea-

Dr. Becky 15:25 Right

Kenan Thompson 15:25 ... or what you think is humorous about any given specific subject matter. You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 15:30 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 15:30 So why leave yourself out of it at the end? You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 15:33 Right, right.

Kenan Thompson 15:33 It's like, no, like, keep yourself kind of involved. It's not necessarily about you-

Dr. Becky 15:39 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 15:39 ... but your instincts, your taste, you know what I mean, is a large part of this, you know? And you shouldn't, like, gloss over that-

Dr. Becky 15:49 Yes

Kenan Thompson 15:49 ... just for the sake of trying to please the audience, if you will.

Dr. Becky 15:52 That's right. I guess I'm picturing a, a circle of kind of what I think is funny or like-

Kenan Thompson 15:57 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 15:57 ... no one really cares what I think is funny, so-

Kenan Thompson 15:59 Oh, come on. Of course we do

Dr. Becky 16:00 ... maybe you think it's funny.

Kenan Thompson 16:00 [laughs]

Dr. Becky 16:00 Um, and then the other circle is, like, what the audience thinks is funny. And obviously, kind of success probably happens at, you know, the, the intersection.

Kenan Thompson 16:06 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 16:06 But it, it is something that happens, and it's not just in comedy. I, I think it's with sports, with... Right?

Kenan Thompson 16:12 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 16:12 ... or, or with, with anything we start to do as a performance is we start to have success because we do have something inside of us that-

Kenan Thompson 16:18 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 16:18 ... tastes, the, the unique perspective-

Kenan Thompson 16:20 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 16:20 ... and it has an overlap with an audience. But if we completely lose that focus internally and we start to just focus on externally-

Kenan Thompson 16:28 Yeah

Dr. Becky 16:29 ... um, I think we drive ourselves into the ground. And, I mean, that's probably-

Kenan Thompson 16:33 I don't know-

Dr. Becky 16:34 ... the thing that's special

Kenan Thompson 16:34 ... a good example of it going that way. You know what I mean? When everybody starts micro-focusing on everyone else except for themselves.

Dr. Becky 16:41 Right.

Kenan Thompson 16:42 You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 16:43 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 16:43 Like, you, you just... It's unfair to yourself, and I think at some point s- subconsciously you start to acknowledge that. Like s-

Dr. Becky 16:51 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 16:51 ... like, "Hello."

Dr. Becky 16:52 Right.

Kenan Thompson 16:52 "I would love to be acknowledged in this whole thing. Like, everybody else is feeling good about something, but I'm just stressed and tired."

Dr. Becky 16:58 Right.

Kenan Thompson 16:58 You know what I mean? And like, now I have to come up with something else, and I didn't even get a chance to, like, really understand why or just have a moment. You know what I mean? Like, when we did Electric Shoes, I got a DM from someone showing me their mute autistic child singing along to it, just humming it, you know, and humming the notes, and, like, they were, like, in Chick-fil-A or something. And they're like, "He watches this every day." You know what I mean? "And it brings him so much joy, and this is kind of the only time he makes noise," if you will. And it's like-

Dr. Becky 17:31 Wow

Kenan Thompson 17:31 ... that's just our silly little idea. You know what I mean? Like, bringing so much light into, you know, these people's lives, basically.

Dr. Becky 17:38 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 17:38 So that was when it was like, all right, that's the power of what we're doing here, basically.

Dr. Becky 17:44 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 17:44 So don't let that, like, other side, you know, bring you too far down because the upside is so high. Like, being, you know, a gift to others is such a high thing to be involved with, in my opinion.

Dr. Becky 17:58 Mm-hmm. Has, has comedy taught you how to deal with failure? Maybe failure. I, I don't love that word, it feels so final, but struggle, something not landing. Oh, I thought that was gonna go well, [laughs] turns out it didn't.

Kenan Thompson 18:10 I think comedy, but like also like, you know, being in the business or like working young, you know, kind of taught me that, you know, there's always more opportunities. You know what I mean? So I don't necessarily have to wallow in failure too much. Like, okay, I failed there, you know, but here comes another opportunity where it's like you might succeed on this, you know, based on what you learned from this previous situation-

Dr. Becky 18:36 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 18:36 ... or whatever. If you can look back at failures without too much emotion and try to find a lesson in it.

Dr. Becky 18:42 Yep. Yep.

Kenan Thompson 18:43 There's a lesson in everything, you know what I mean? Sometimes a lesson is that that wasn't funny, but, you know, if you can find tools for the next kind of thing, it's great. And SNL especially is another kind of like, don't dwell on this one specific show. There's another show coming. Opportunity will continue to come, you know, as the sun rises-

Dr. Becky 19:04 Yep

Kenan Thompson 19:04 ... kind of thing, so.

Dr. Becky 19:05 The show will go on.

Kenan Thompson 19:06 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 19:06 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 19:06 Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's definitely helped with not wallowing.

Dr. Becky 19:10 Is that perspective helpful in your parenting, like with your kids?

Kenan Thompson 19:13 Yeah. Absolutely.

Dr. Becky 19:15 How?

Kenan Thompson 19:15 Especially trying to-

Dr. Becky 19:16 Mm

Kenan Thompson 19:16 ... convey that message.

Dr. Becky 19:18 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 19:18 ... you know? And I guess there's no better example than by leading by example. It's like, all right, if you need an example, look at what I do. You know what I mean? Like, I've done so many different kinds of projects. Not every one of them is great, but if I dwelled on the fact that I did a bad one, I wouldn't have been able to do a good one following behind it. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, Peter Cottontail is not gonna be the same as Trolls, but we try the hardest, you know, and do our best each time, and things turn out to where... Not to say that Peter Cottontail was bad.

Dr. Becky 19:54 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 19:54 It's just, it's just different. You know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 19:57 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 19:57 And success-wise, it's like night and day, you know?

Dr. Becky 20:00 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 20:00 Like Trolls is a ginormous global thing kind of thing, and Peter Cottontail I think was on DVD.

Dr. Becky 20:06 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 20:06 You know? So [laughs] very specific kind of audience, but you have to be careful how you look at your successes and failures and stuff like that.

Dr. Becky 20:13 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 20:14 Not micro-focused on either one of them-

Dr. Becky 20:16 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 20:16 ... and just kinda continue building and continue being creative and continue servicing as long as it is servicing both yourself and the audience. It's, it, you know, it's a lot. Like yeah, we're, we're preaching to the choir, you know, with this kind of like balanced talk in life-

Dr. Becky 20:33 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 20:33 ... but that's really what it is-

Dr. Becky 20:35 Mm

Kenan Thompson 20:36 ... in so many different ways. It really is.

Dr. Becky 20:38 Yeah. When your daughters are upset or having a hard moment-

Kenan Thompson 20:42 Yeah

Dr. Becky 20:42 ... what, what shows up for you?

Kenan Thompson 20:45 Panic. [laughs]

Dr. Becky 20:46 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 20:47 Um, and also like, wow, you know what I mean? Like, okay. 'Cause I'm not, I guess, overly... I'm not a big crier, so to see tears come from me was like, yo, like, why? What's hap- Like, let's pull back and like stop the tears, please, by, by any means. You know what I'm saying? Kind of thing, and get to a place where we can discuss the differences between what you would like to have happen and what, you know, [laughs] a, a parent's discipline, you know, should allow to happen-

Dr. Becky 21:20 To happen

Kenan Thompson 21:20 ... kind of thing. And just find a middle ground without so much crying, but not necessarily diminishing, you know, them going there emotionally. And like it's a reminder of me, like we're all human, you know what I mean?

Dr. Becky 21:33 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 21:34 Like, I should, maybe I should allow myself to be more emotional, but, you know-

Dr. Becky 21:38 And you're not a very-

Kenan Thompson 21:38 I've been blessed, you know? Go ahead

Dr. Becky 21:40 ... you're not a very emotional... Were you an emotional kid? Were you-

Kenan Thompson 21:42 No, not really.

Dr. Becky 21:43 No.

Kenan Thompson 21:43 I mean, I'm just kind of like even-keeled.

Dr. Becky 21:46 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 21:46 Like, yes, I get, you know, more like upset angry-wise about things when they don't, you know, when they... I guess it's a sad thing because it's like I'm such a logical thinker, s- anything sad makes me mad. So, you know, I try to like not get so temperamental kind of, like Taurussy temper kind of whatever.

Dr. Becky 22:05 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 22:06 Um, and just, you know, stay even so when bad things happen it's like, all right, well, that happened, and like what are we gonna do? Like are we gonna move, figure out ways to move forward, or are we gonna like dwell on, you know, negativities? Like I would much rather try to spin towards the light, you know-

Dr. Becky 22:25 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 22:25 ... if, if possible.

Dr. Becky 22:26 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 22:27 Like, not necessarily not feel the moments, you know, but-

Dr. Becky 22:34 But you're oriented towards-

Kenan Thompson 22:34 I don't wanna-

Dr. Becky 22:35 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 22:35 ... yeah, I don't wanna engage in sadness, you know?

Dr. Becky 22:38 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 22:38 I don't wanna engage in, you know, being angry. I don't wanna engage in, in none of that. I wanna engage in the good times. Like I do comedy for a living, you know?

Dr. Becky 22:46 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 22:46 Yes, it's the toughest thing in the world, and it's one of the biggest kind of ironic situations that a lot of comics are dark people.

Dr. Becky 22:53 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 22:53 But I wanna be a, a light person, you know what I mean? I wanna be a person that provides joy but also has joy.

Dr. Becky 23:00 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Are there things you wanna do differently as a dad for your girls than what was true in your childhood?

Kenan Thompson 23:08 Yeah, we used to get whoopings, man, you know? So start there. [laughs] We've already been doing that, and like very like no hands, you know-

Dr. Becky 23:17 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 23:17 ... um, hands off of everyone, feet to yourself kind of thing.

Dr. Becky 23:21 Mm.

Kenan Thompson 23:21 You know, and then u- use your words-

Dr. Becky 23:24 Yep

Kenan Thompson 23:24 ... if you will. Yeah, that's, that's four, if you will.

Dr. Becky 23:28 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 23:30 I have to stop it. But yeah, that's, that's kind of-

Dr. Becky 23:33 That's a big one

Kenan Thompson 23:33 ... the approach these days. And it's a huge one because, I mean, there's arguments for, you know, being straightened out traumatically, [laughs] unfortunately, but you, you feel me?

Dr. Becky 23:46 Uh, uh. [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 23:47 It's, it... But at the same time, like no, we can, we can definitely raise children without switches and belts and, and, you know, spankings and stuff like that-

Dr. Becky 23:56 Mm

Kenan Thompson 23:56 ... or whatever. And, you know, there's plenty of cases to, to prove it, so like why not-

Dr. Becky 24:01 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 24:01 ... go that route? And like, yes, you may have to have a little more patience or- Say things a little more often or be a little more on top of situations when they do arise, but that's your responsibility, yeah.

Dr. Becky 24:13 Are you proud of yourself for that?

Kenan Thompson 24:16 I am very, you know, for being open to learning that approach, you know, and not just doing everything that, you know, I was raised around. Not to say that it was a negative, but it was just-

Dr. Becky 24:29 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 24:29 ... you know, probably my parents were raised 10 times worse than that-

Dr. Becky 24:33 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 24:33 ... kind of thing, you know, and it just gets less and less and less as the generations go on or as generations learn or evolve or whatever it is.

Dr. Becky 24:39 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 24:40 Um, but yeah, I'm very proud of myself for that approach because it's just more loving.

Dr. Becky 24:45 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 24:45 You know? It's just, it's warmer, and it's, you know, I feel like it's a closer-knit bonding experience to, to kind of go through the, the rights and wrongs of raising a child or raising a child to see right and wrong.

Dr. Becky 25:00 What, what role, um, maybe now, maybe when your kids were younger, did children's books play in your home?

Kenan Thompson 25:06 Yeah, I mean, I feel like they go hand-in-hand with childhood. Like, there's nothing better than things that are for you, for your world, and that's kind of what, you know, kids' books, you know, kinda glow-in-the-dark toys, anything, you know, it just felt very much for me and my time.

Dr. Becky 25:24 Oh, agreed. And what, what prompted Unfunny Bunny?

Kenan Thompson 25:27 Unfunny Bunny came from wanting to do, always kinda wanting to do a kids' book. When I did my first memoir book, I was like, "Well, I wanna make a book, you know, for readers. That would be fun." But along that journey, I'd learned about kind of, my colleagues all had done memoirs and a kids' book.

Dr. Becky 25:48 Mm-hmm.

Kenan Thompson 25:49 You know? And it was such a fun space, and the titles were so good.

Dr. Becky 25:55 [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 25:55 Like, you know, This Book Has No Pictures, and, you know, There's a Monster at the End of This Book-

Dr. Becky 26:00 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 26:00 ... and blah, blah, blah, and I was like, "This is such a fun world." And I had such a good time growing up in an environment where it was like kids rule kinda thing. That's what like the Nickelodeon kind of overall theme was, was like, this is our world kinda thing.

Dr. Becky 26:13 Yeah. And what do you hope-

Kenan Thompson 26:15 Yeah

Dr. Becky 26:15 ... the book does between parents and kids when they read it?

Kenan Thompson 26:18 This sorta thing, you know, let's all put a kid here, put a... You know, maybe where you're at your lake house, where you're sitting-

Dr. Becky 26:24 Mm-hmm

Kenan Thompson 26:25 ... by a fire and there's a Christmas tree, or you're in the, you know, in the car, or you're on a train, you know?

Dr. Becky 26:31 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 26:31 Just any sort of time passing together is, you know, my, my main goal with that.

Dr. Becky 26:37 But you're also doing something powerful in your body movements. Like, a children's book has a way of literally bring a kid and a parent together. Like, you're usually-

Kenan Thompson 26:45 Yeah

Dr. Becky 26:46 ... on a lap. There's touching. There's closeness. It's like this is our moment. I always love the conversations that happen after I read a, a book because I think even with this-

Kenan Thompson 26:54 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 26:54 ... one, to be able to s- whether you've told jokes publicly or not-

Kenan Thompson 26:58 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 26:58 ... we all take risks. We all try something.

Kenan Thompson 27:00 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 27:00 You know, it doesn't go the way-

Kenan Thompson 27:01 Yeah

Dr. Becky 27:01 ... we want. Such a nice opportunity to share a moment. You did that with your kid.

Kenan Thompson 27:05 Mm.

Dr. Becky 27:05 I always find kids are amazed to hear the stories of us when we were younger. Like, "I tried out for this play. I didn't get it."

Kenan Thompson 27:12 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 27:13 Or, you know, "I tried out for the soccer team, and I was cut." And every time-

Kenan Thompson 27:17 Yeah

Dr. Becky 27:17 ... I tell that to my kid, they're like-

Kenan Thompson 27:18 What? Yeah

Dr. Becky 27:19 ... because they, we forget that we're so capable.

Kenan Thompson 27:21 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 27:22 Like, we put on our shoes well. [laughs]

Kenan Thompson 27:23 Yeah, mm-hmm.

Dr. Becky 27:24 We pour milk without spilling, like generally.

Kenan Thompson 27:26 I haven't, I haven't spilled milk in years.

Dr. Becky 27:28 Years.

Kenan Thompson 27:29 [laughs]

Dr. Becky 27:29 No one gives us credit for that.

Kenan Thompson 27:30 Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Becky 27:30 But our kids see that.

Kenan Thompson 27:31 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 27:31 And they're like, "Wow, you are amazing." And it's really hard to learn anything from someone who seems like an expert in anything. Like, if I did-

Kenan Thompson 27:40 Right

Dr. Becky 27:40 ... wanna get better at comedy, no offense, like, I'm not calling you.

Kenan Thompson 27:43 [laughs]

Dr. Becky 27:43 Like, you're just not my first call 'cause I'm like, you're, you've made it. Like, I'm not learning cooking from a professional chef.

Kenan Thompson 27:48 Yeah.

Dr. Becky 27:48 And we're so good at so many things that we don't even realize to our kids-

Kenan Thompson 27:54 Yeah

Dr. Becky 27:54 ... that to have a book where there's a little bit of a struggle and share your own moment after-

Kenan Thompson 27:58 Mm-hmm

Dr. Becky 27:59 ... ugh, I just think they need that.

Kenan Thompson 27:59 And also find out who your kids are, you know?

Dr. Becky 28:02 Yes.

Kenan Thompson 28:03 Because we always see them as little people. They see themselves just as themselves.

Dr. Becky 28:08 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 28:09 So when you get a little glimpse of, like, who they really are, what their personalities are kind of, and they just come out in certain preferences and things like that, it's fascinating.

Dr. Becky 28:19 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 28:19 It really is because they stay true to it.

Dr. Becky 28:22 Yeah.

Kenan Thompson 28:22 Like, the things that they like, they like, and if they don't like it, it'll be a pattern of, like, anything in that world, "I don't like it. Like, how many times do I have to t- [laughs]

Dr. Becky 28:30 Yeah

Kenan Thompson 28:30 ... do I have to tell you, like, I don't like that?"

Dr. Becky 28:32 Yep.

Kenan Thompson 28:32 And it's like, okay, you are your own person.

Dr. Becky 28:34 You know who you are.

Kenan Thompson 28:35 Yes.

Dr. Becky 28:36 Right? [gentle music] Here's something I keep thinking about after talking with Kenan. Parenting is so hard. There are so many moments that are heavy, and things that live in our brain we have to figure out, and problems we have to work through, and sometimes there are more opportunities to introduce humor than we realize. Sometimes we can laugh. Sometimes we can add a silly move. Sometimes we can read a book that brings a smile to our face with our kid, and sometimes that moment of humor is the exact thing we need to kinda break tension. I know I'll be thinking about that. Before we go, I wanna zoom out for a moment. This conversation is part of a series we're calling How We're Raised, where we explore how the homes we grew up in shape the way we show up as adults and leaders and parents. Every couple of weeks, we'll be bringing you another conversation like this one. Every day in the Good Inside community, parents are having honest conversations like this, exploring the things they inherited and the things they're trying to change. I encourage you to check it out at goodinside.com. If this interview resonated with you, let us know. If there's someone whose story you'd be curious to hear in this series, we'd love to know that, too. You can reach out to us at podcast@goodinside.com. Now, let's end the way we always do. Place your feet on the ground and a hand on your heart, and let's remind ourselves even as we struggle on the outside, we remain good inside. [gentle music] I'll see you soon. [outro music]