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Good Inside with Dr. BeckyGood Inside with Dr. Becky

Your Body Is Not a Problem to Fix

Kids today face a near daily onslaught of body shame from their peers, school, diet culture, the media, and even the most well-meaning parents themselves. Virginia Sole-Smith, journalist and author, joins Dr. Becky to discuss why it’s critical that we change the way we talk to kids about fat, weight, health, and self-worth. Join Good Inside Membership: https://bit.ly/3H2HDpr Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books. For a full transcript of the episode go to goodinside.com/podcast Today’s episode is brought to you by Littlespoon: Little Spoon gives parents the freedom to choose how they spend their time, without sacrificing quality food. It’s easy: just pop your kid’s Little Spoon in the fridge or freezer, and use the meals when you’re ready. Little Spoon will take care of fresh, nutritionally balanced recipes - from organic stages 1-6 purees, to transition-to-table food meals, + big kid Plates your little will love. Think: hidden-veggie mac + cheese, chicken nuggets, and even adventurous eats like potstickers and gnocchi. Get 50% OFF your first order at littlespoon.com when you use the code GOODINSIDEVIP at checkout.

Dr. BeckyhostVirginia Sole-Smithguest
Apr 25, 202339mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Challenging diet culture: raising kids with body trust and acceptance

  1. They define diet culture as a system that elevates thinness and devalues fatness, framing this as pervasive anti-fat bias that shows up in media, public spaces, sports, parenting, and healthcare.
  2. They argue for reclaiming “fat” as a neutral descriptor so children learn body diversity is normal rather than shameful or taboo.
  3. They distinguish body positivity from “radical acceptance,” emphasizing that kids need a home where their bodies feel safe and loved even if parents don’t personally “love” their own bodies yet.
  4. They offer harm-reduction strategies for parents: reduce kids’ exposure to body-shaming self-talk, avoid commenting on children’s bodies, and model enjoyment of food and movement without moralizing.
  5. They provide concrete scripts and boundary-setting tactics—especially with pediatricians—to opt out of weight/BMI talk and reinforce the message: “Your body is not a problem to fix.”

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Anti-fat bias is the value judgment underneath diet culture.

The conversation frames diet culture as everyday “rules” about eating and bodies, but says it ultimately depends on the belief that fat bodies are less worthy, less attractive, and presumed unhealthy.

Treat “fat” as a neutral descriptor to reduce shame.

Avoiding the word can teach kids that certain bodies are “bad” and unspeakable; using it neutrally (like tall/short) normalizes body diversity while still teaching consent about commenting on others’ bodies.

Use validating language when kids notice differences: “You’re right to notice that.”

Instead of shutting kids down (“Don’t say that”), acknowledge their observation and add context—“Bodies come in all shapes and sizes”—so curiosity doesn’t turn into stigma or self-doubt.

Aim for body safety at home more than “loving your body” perfectly.

They position “radical acceptance” as more attainable and protective than body-positivity-as-a-personal-project, especially for parents still healing their own body image.

Harm reduction works: stop negative body talk in front of kids.

Even if a parent struggles internally, reducing mirror-checking, dieting talk, and self-criticism around children lowers risk factors for kids’ body dissatisfaction and disordered eating patterns.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

These comments are made around kids, around us growing up. It's a way women in particular are taught to narrate and perform our bodies, and these comments stay with you. They live rent-free in your head forever pretty much.

Virginia Sole-Smith

If you keep thinking of fat as a bad word, and you keep thinking of it as a word that you don't want your kids to say... what you're teaching your kid is there are bad bodies, and that's a bad body.

Virginia Sole-Smith

The biggest gift we can give our kids is radical acceptance and love of their bodies- regardless of their size.

Virginia Sole-Smith

You actually don't have to aesthetically love your body in order for your body to be valuable and worthy of- respect and dignity and safety.

Virginia Sole-Smith

Your body is not a problem to fix.

Virginia Sole-Smith

Anti-fat bias vs. diet cultureReclaiming the word “fat”Scripts for kids’ body observations in publicRadical acceptance vs. body positivityParental modeling and harm reductionDe-centering “pretty” and appearance-based worthNavigating weight talk in pediatric healthcare (BMI, “obesity” labels)

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