Huberman Lab

How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence | Dr. Marc Brackett

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Marc Brackett, Ph.D., a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and a world expert on what emotions are, how to interpret them, and how to work with emotions to yield a more impactful, meaningful and healthier life. We explore differences between introverts and extroverts, in-person and text-based emotional communication, and how emotional suppression impacts us. We discuss emotional intelligence and describe tools to improve emotional regulation and communication in personal and professional relationships. We also explore the role of emotions in learning, resolving conflicts, and decision-making. We also discuss bullying in kids and adults, both in person and online. This episode provides a clear and novel framework for thinking about emotions and data-supported tools to improve emotion regulation, self-awareness, and empathic attunement. Access the full show notes for this episode: https://go.hubermanlab.com/hPHAezn Use Ask Huberman Lab, our chat-based tool, for summaries, clips, and insights from this episode: https://go.hubermanlab.com/t5vg8x Pre-order Andrew's book, Protocols: https://go.hubermanlab.com/protocols *Thank you to our sponsors* AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman Eudēmonia: https://eudemonia.net LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman *Dr. Marc Brackett* Website: https://marcbrackett.com Yale academic profile: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/marc-brackett Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence: https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/services/community-and-schools-programs/center-for-emotional-intelligence Permission to Feel: https://marcbrackett.com/permission-to-feel Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marc.brackett LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marc-brackett-10a563 X: https://x.com/marcbrackett YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarcBrackett Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marc.brackett.5 *Timestamps* 00:00:00 Dr. Marc Brackett 00:02:02 Sponsors: BetterHelp, Eight Sleep & Eudēmonia 00:06:03 What is Emotional Intelligence?; Self & Others 00:11:18 Language & Emotion 00:18:52 Emojis; Anger vs. Disappointment; Behavior & Emotion 00:24:35 Sponsor: AG1 00:26:05 Parent/Teacher Support; Online Etiquette 00:31:24 Anonymity, Online Comments 00:35:46 Happiness vs. Contentment; Knowing Oneself 00:41:33 Introversion & Extroversion; Personality & Emotional Intelligence 00:51:28 Sponsor: LMNT 00:52:40 Texting & Relationships 01:00:37 Tool: Mood Meter, Energy & Pleasantness Scale 01:06:28 Emotion Suppression; Permission to Feel, Emotions Mentor 01:19:42 Discussing Feelings; Emotional Self-Awareness 01:25:00 Understanding Cause of Emotions, Stress, Envy 01:33:40 Framing Empathy, Compassionate Empathy 01:42:28 Asking Question; Tools: Reframing, Hot Air Balloon; Distancing 01:49:44 Stereotypes, “Emotional” 01:53:49 Emotions, Learning & Decision Making; Intention 02:02:43 Emotion App & Self-Awareness; Gratitude Practice 02:07:13 Bullying 02:18:06 Courage & Bullying; Emotion Education 02:25:33 Punishment; Uncle Marvin 02:31:59 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter #HubermanLab #Science #EmotionalIntelligence Disclaimer: https://www.hubermanlab.com/disclaimer

AHAndrew HubermanhostMBMarc Brackettguest

Sep 9, 2024·2h 34m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1
   13:00 – 26:20

   Defining Emotional Intelligence and the RULER Skills Framework

   Brackett defines emotional intelligence as a set of discrete, trainable skills captured in the RULER acronym: Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions, both in oneself and in others. He describes modern assessment methods using dynamic, multimodal emotion-perception tests and emphasizes that emotion skills are partly independent subskills rather than a single monolithic trait.

2. 2
   26:20 – 55:40

   Emotion Vocabulary, Differentiation, and the Limits of Emojis

   They explore how limited emotion vocabulary drives overuse of generic labels like ‘anxiety’ and ‘stress’ and discuss emotion differentiation (between categories) and granularity (within categories). Brackett criticizes emojis and online shorthand for encouraging excessive ‘lumping’ of emotions, making it harder to communicate, understand, and regulate nuanced inner states.

3. 3
   55:40 – 1:08:20

   Technology, Texting, and the Erosion of Emotional Communication

   The conversation shifts to how texting and social media reshape emotional expression and relationships. Brackett argues that while texts are efficient for logistics, they are harmful when used for grief, conflict, or deep support, and shares examples of impersonal condolences and teens’ avoidance of face-to-face interaction.

4. 4
   1:08:20 – 1:28:00

   Personality (Introversion, Neuroticism) versus Emotional Intelligence

   Huberman and Brackett disentangle personality traits like introversion, extroversion, and neuroticism from emotional intelligence. While traits shape preferences and challenges, they are largely uncorrelated with EI scores; emotionally volatile people may even have more opportunities to practice regulation.

5. 5
   1:28:00 – 1:47:00

   The Mood Meter: Mapping Feelings by Energy and Pleasantness

   Brackett introduces the Mood Meter, a 2D model plotting emotions along pleasantness (horizontal) and energy (vertical), creating four color-coded quadrants. This simple tool helps children and adults gain real-time emotional awareness and match states to context-appropriate tasks and strategies.

6. 6
   1:47:00 – 2:38:00

   Permission to Feel, Meta-Emotions, and Emotional Suppression

   They discuss Brackett’s ‘permission to feel’ concept: many people have negative beliefs about emotions (happy is ‘good,’ anger is ‘bad’) and about their capacity to handle others’ feelings. He shares his own childhood with anxious and ‘toughen up’ parents and the transformative role of his Uncle Marvin, the first adult who created space for his feelings.

7. 7
   2:38:00 – 3:06:00

   Empathy, Distancing, and Healthy Emotion Regulation

   Huberman and Brackett consider how to maintain empathy without becoming overwhelmed, especially in helping professions. Brackett delineates cognitive, emotional, and compassionate empathy, and reframes the goal as coupling empathy with regulation strategies like distancing, reframing, and self-dialogue.

8. 8
   3:06:00 – 3:41:00

   Bullying, Shame, and Building Emotionally Safe Schools

   Brackett shares painful stories of being severely bullied as a child, including physical and psychological abuse in full view of teachers who did nothing. He defines bullying formally and argues that punitive, rule-based approaches have failed; only systemic emotional education can reduce bullying and its downstream shame and despair.

9. 9
   3:41:00

   Gratitude, Envy, and the Emotional Basis of Learning and Success

   In the final substantive section, they loop back to Plato’s idea that all learning has an emotional base and present data on students’ feelings in school. Brackett reveals that much self-reported ‘stress’ among elite students is actually envy in disguise and highlights gratitude and contentment as antidotes to corrosive comparison.