#1 Business Expert: Here’s how I went from $0 to 7 BILLION EMPIRE … (and how you can too)

1. 0:00 – 0:44

   Intro

   1. JSJay Shetty0:00

      I am so excited to be here tonight at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco with the one and only Emma Grede.

   2. EGEmma Grede0:09

      [cheering] [laughing]

   3. JSJay Shetty0:10

      Oh, Emma, I could just keep saying your name.

   4. EGEmma Grede0:12

      [laughing]

   5. JSJay Shetty0:12

      It's just like, you are... First of all, I wanna say you're one of my dear friends. I adore you. I love you. I think you're incredible.

   6. EGEmma Grede0:20

      Oh, thank you, darling.

   7. JSJay Shetty0:21

      And the fact that you came out here to do this means the absolute world to me, and you heard the excitement and the energy in the room, and [laughing]

   8. EGEmma Grede0:30

      [laughing]

   9. JSJay Shetty0:30

      Yeah, absolutely.

   10. EGEmma Grede0:30

       Honestly, Jay, until about three hours ago, I thought it was eight hundred people that were here tonight, so I'm in a little bit of shock, to be totally honest. [laughing]

   11. JSJay Shetty0:39

       [laughing]

   12. EGEmma Grede0:39

       I'm like, "What?" [laughing]

   13. JSJay Shetty0:41

       [laughing] I love it. It's definitely, like, thousands and thousands of people.

2. 0:44 – 2:12

   Why Do We Worry About Others’ Opinions?

   1. EGEmma Grede0:44

      Yes. Yes, yes, yes. [laughing]

   2. JSJay Shetty0:44

      But I wanna start with something that we've been talking about this evening, and it's interesting 'cause you were actually talking about it in the clip that we had from the show when you were on the podcast. We find that we spend so much of our time worrying about what people think of us. We are constantly our worst critics. In our mind, we're thinking, "Oh, does this person think I'm this, think I'm that?" I want you to take us to a time when that was in your head, and what were the kind of things you worried about that people thought of you, and what did you do about it?

   3. EGEmma Grede1:12

      Well, you know, I think like so many of us, I spent my entire life worried about that, and I'd be lying if I said there weren't parts of me that still feel like that now. But I honestly got to a certain point in my life where I thought, "Well, if not you, then who?" Right? And I really feel like so much of my life has been about trying to prove something, and you get to the point where you're like, "I don't really have anything to prove anymore." I wake up every single day and make a decision to do my very best, and who am I doing my best for? Well, for me, right? I have to meet my own expectations. I have to get to the point where I can lay my head back down on that pillow at night and feel really, really good, and I've just got to the point where I feel like that is real for me. But, you know, in my teens, in my 20s, like, you, you don't feel that way. That's just not your reality, and you spend a lot of time worried about what other people think.

3. 2:12 – 4:09

   Opportunities Lost to Comparison

   1. JSJay Shetty2:12

      Yeah, and you get stuck. Like, we get so stifled by it, and we get so restricted by it. Do you remember ever, like, missing out on an opportunity or not doing something because-

   2. EGEmma Grede2:21

      Oh

   3. JSJay Shetty2:21

      ... you were so worried?

   4. EGEmma Grede2:22

      I mean, I have lists of things like that because you imagine that everybody is watching you like you're watching you, and I think that there were times in my life where I didn't speak up. There were times in my life where I didn't put myself forward. There were times in my life where I just not only kept quiet, but I kept out of the conversation, right? Like, not, not even in it, not really even putting myself out there. And so, um, yeah, I feel like that was my reality for a very, very long time. And I also think that there's part of being, uh, certainly a woman, but a, a younger woman in business, where there's this idea that everybody knows better than you, and the older you get, the more you realize no one knows anything.

   5. JSJay Shetty3:05

      [laughing]

   6. EGEmma Grede3:06

      Every one of us, we're making it up as we go along. And you know, it's so interesting for me because at this stage of my career, I find myself in the rooms, you know, with the best investors, with people that are doing incredible things, people that are in very, very high-level positions, running companies or countries even. And you do get to the point where you go, "Well, you know what? I think I'm... You know, you're not that different from me."

   7. JSJay Shetty3:31

      [laughing]

   8. EGEmma Grede3:31

      And so there is a part of you that goes, you, you start to feel so much more confident. But, um, and I talk about this all the time, it isn't without some fear, and I do think that taking risks, and again, it's an inherently female thing sometimes to be risk adverse, and w- and we're like that for so many reasons. But when the only reason is for self-preservation, you really have to start thinking about what fear is doing negatively to you. And so I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I can park my fear and what else I can use that energy for.

   9. JSJay Shetty4:05

      Oh, so good.

   10. EGEmma Grede4:06

       [clapping]

   11. JSJay Shetty4:07

       So good, Emma. I love

4. 4:09 – 7:19

   The Double Standards for Women in Business

   1. JSJay Shetty4:09

      that. And I, and I want to talk to you about that. Let's, let's dive into that. I was gonna save that for later, but I'll dive into it seeing as you took it there. I remember reading a study that showed that when men see a job description-

   2. EGEmma Grede4:19

      Mm-hmm

   3. JSJay Shetty4:20

      ... even if they can only do 40% of it, they'll apply. But when women see a job description, even if they can do 80% of it, they won't apply. And so there's this shift that definitely exists, this confidence, this, uh, feeling of trusting yourself, this feeling of, "Oh, I'm worthy," that comes in. Walk me through that experience that you've had since day one of feeling like, as a woman, you had to prove more, you had to work harder. What, what does that actually look like? And what are women out there, I'm sure there's so many people in here who want to be entrepreneurs, have started something, but are seeing that. How do you see it, but then live through it and build an empire like you have?

   4. EGEmma Grede4:59

      Well, let's just be honest about some of that, right? Because it isn't just about women holding themselves back. The barriers are real. They're really real. And so we should all recognize that. [clapping] Um, and it's one of the reasons that I've built the companies that I have with women at the helm, with women in po- positions of power, and with women as the decision-makers, because we actually make better decisions about who to bring in the company the, in the first place. [clapping] Um, but I j- and it's true. It's true, you know? If you have a female banker, if you have a, you know, somebody investing your money that's a woman, like, she will do better for you. The facts and the figures are out there. [clapping] Um, so, so I, I wanna be honest about these things, not just as what happens in our minds as women, but some of them are the societal barriers that truly, truly exist. And I know it 'cause I see it every day in my own company. And just to your point, you know, I'll have a role that I need a Spanish or a French speaker, and a man will come in with very limited abilities and tell me he's, like, a pro and completely fluent.

   5. JSJay Shetty5:58

      [laughing]

   6. EGEmma Grede5:58

      And a woman who maybe just needs to brush up a bit, but she's basically fluent, is like, "Oh, I'm not so sure." Um, but again, I think that's about what-Has been allowed for women. And as soon as we start saying things and doing things that are considered braggadocios, getting out of our, you know, space, women face an enormous amount of criticism, and I get this all the time. You know, I was speaking about a subject, and my team are like, "Don't say the subject."

   7. JSJay Shetty6:28

      [laughs]

   8. EGEmma Grede6:28

      But I, you know, had a little thing a couple of weeks ago, and on the same day, a very, very prominent, uh, American businessman was having a very, very similar, like, Twitter attack, X attack, whatever you wanna call it, and I got so much backlash, and no one said anything to him. In fact, he got millions and millions of likes. So the standards are just very, very different. But instead of shying away from those conversations, what I do is lean into those conversations because the very idea that you have to be demure, that you have to be likable, that you have to lean into a certain convention of what it means to be a business, a woman in business, if you, if you do that and I display that, I'm actually holding women back. So I've just decided, like, I'm not playing that game anymore. I'm gonna do me, be me, and everyone else-

   9. JSJay Shetty7:14

      [cheering]

   10. EGEmma Grede7:15

       ... is gonna have to like it.

   11. JSJay Shetty7:16

       [cheering]

   12. EGEmma Grede7:18

       [laughs]

   13. JSJay Shetty7:18

       [cheering]

   14. EGEmma Grede7:18

       It's,

5. 7:19 – 9:57

   Why You Must Start With Yourself

   1. EGEmma Grede7:19

      it's so important. It's, it's so important, and but what I love about what you've done with that is because there's one thing, like when we see injustice, when we see that kind of treatment in the world, we all notice it, and we can talk about it. But then you've been able to get involved, get stuck in. You haven't let that hamper your growth, and I think that's the mindset that I'm always fascinated by. We all see things happening in the world that we hate, that we don't love, that don't feel fair, but then we still gotta learn to play that game. We still gotta learn to win at that game, and you've done that multiple times. If someone's at the beginning of their journey, there's people in I- in here who have ideas, who have dreams, who have things that they wanna start, and they're concerned about whether it's fair, whether there's a meritocracy, whether it's set up for making them fail or succeed. What's the first thing they have to build in their mind, in their heart, in their resolve, or externally that you'd recommend they start with? You know what, the first thing I wanna say is that it's really important to start with yourself. We can be so concerned about everything that's happening around us, and I think what I did pretty well in early in my career was center my decisions around what it is that was important to me, and I never, ever sacrificed my ambition. I was pretty out there and open and honest. And so I think if you want something, you have to go after it. You can't be shy about it. You've gotta be very, very honest and open about what it is that you need and what you're looking for all the time. And I do think a lot of us think, you know, we think a lot about what we want, but we don't necessarily make it known. And I speak to people about this all the, all the time. Whatever you want and whatever you're thinking about doing in your life, the most important thing is to focus on what you're doing and what you can do right now. Be excellent in whatever it is that you're doing right now. You know, when I worked in a deli, and I made the sandwiches, and I spoke to you about it before, I was an amazing sandwich maker.

   2. JSJay Shetty9:18

      [laughs]

   3. EGEmma Grede9:18

      In the same way that I make amazing jeans now. But whatever it is, I will apply myself in that way. And so I do think there's this idea of, um, what it means to be, like, really, truly excellent at something, and that's how we can propel ourselves into the unimaginable. That's how we get to do new things. That's how people start to recognize us as individuals with skills outside of where we may be seen right now. So that's what I try to focus on. I focus on myself, and again, sounds really selfish, but that's what you have to be sometimes. And it's okay for a period in your life as a means to an end to get somewhere.

6. 9:57 – 11:58

   The Three-Word Mantra for Career Growth

   1. JSJay Shetty9:57

      I really appreciate that mindset because I feel like it's a magnetic feeling that someone gives you.

   2. EGEmma Grede10:02

      Yeah.

   3. JSJay Shetty10:02

      When you see someone just be really good. I, I remember a few months ago, me and my friends were out for dinner in LA, and we were at this restaurant, and the lady who was serving and taking our orders, she was just amazing.

   4. EGEmma Grede10:15

      Mm.

   5. JSJay Shetty10:15

      Like, she had the recommendations down. And this wasn't a fancy place. This was, this was a casual spot on a Sunday. She knew every special. She knew every little thing. She had great recommendations. She had great energy. And literally all three of us were like, "So what do you do? What job do you wanna do?" [laughs] Like, literally everyone wanted to-

   6. EGEmma Grede10:31

      Yeah

   7. JSJay Shetty10:31

      ... everyone, everyone there wanted-

   8. EGEmma Grede10:32

      Because we want more of that. We all want to attract more of that.

   9. JSJay Shetty10:34

      Yeah. And it's goes to your exact point that sometimes we think, "Oh, I hate what I do right now, and I've gotta find what I love." But actually, if you can be excellent even at what you hate, imagine how good you'll be at what you love doing.

   10. EGEmma Grede10:46

       Oh, 100%, and I say it all the time because, you know, I think that the three most important words for career acceleration is, "I'll do that."

   11. JSJay Shetty10:56

       Ooh.

   12. EGEmma Grede10:56

       I spent my whole life with my hand up going, "I'll do that. I'll do that."

   13. JSJay Shetty11:01

       [laughs]

   14. EGEmma Grede11:01

       "I'll do that." And it's so important, you know, just again, but it's about putting yourself out there and not imagining that you can't do something or that you won't be chosen for it or that it's not right for you because you're not doing it yet. So sometimes that little bit of vulnerability, like, really helps us.

   15. JSJay Shetty11:17

       Three, two, one.

   16. EGEmma Grede11:20

       I'll do that.

   17. JSJay Shetty11:20

       All right, I need it better than that.

   18. EGEmma Grede11:21

       There you go. [laughs]

   19. JSJay Shetty11:22

       Three, two, one.

   20. EGEmma Grede11:23

       I'll do that.

   21. JSJay Shetty11:24

       I love that. I'll do that.

   22. EGEmma Grede11:26

       I'll do that.

   23. JSJay Shetty11:26

       That's such a great one. Yeah. I remember reading a quote from Richard Branson when I was a kid, and he was always like, "If you get an opportunity to do something, say yes, and then figure out how to do it afterwards."

   24. EGEmma Grede11:36

       My whole life. [laughs]

   25. JSJay Shetty11:37

       And I love... Yeah. And you-

   26. EGEmma Grede11:38

       That's what I'm doing now, Jay, literally. [laughs]

   27. JSJay Shetty11:41

       And I think people underestimate that sometimes that's the pressure-

   28. EGEmma Grede11:45

       Yeah

   29. JSJay Shetty11:45

       ... that actually gets you to step up because if you don't have the opportunity, you keep waiting for it, "When I get that chance, when I get that chance." And I love, "I'll do that," because often we think, "Oh, that's not my thing. I won't do that. I'm not sure about that. I

7. 11:58 – 14:27

   Visualize the Life You Want

   1. JSJay Shetty11:58

      won't do that." I mean, you were saving up to buy fashion magazines as a young girl.

   2. EGEmma Grede12:03

      That is true.

   3. JSJay Shetty12:03

      That, that blows my mind. Did you ever think you'd be in those fashion magazines or creating the fashion that is in those magazines?

   4. EGEmma Grede12:11

      [laughs]

   5. JSJay Shetty12:12

      [laughs] You did?

   6. EGEmma Grede12:13

      I did. I'm gonna sound so arrogant, but yes, I did. I really did.

   7. JSJay Shetty12:17

      I love that.

   8. EGEmma Grede12:18

      Yeah. Well, you know what?

   9. JSJay Shetty12:18

      We love that. Yeah, we love that energy.

   10. EGEmma Grede12:20

       But it's interesting, right? Because now we call it manifestation, but I, as a kid, really visualize the life that I wanted. And I remember, you know, because I grew up in the time where Oprah was on the TV every single day, and, um, you know, she would talk about the ideas of gratitude. She would talk about mindfulness. She would talk about manifestation. Um, I tell you what, the, the greatest thing that ever happened to me is that I was raised in a place and with a family where there honestly were no limitations ever put on me, and I truly believed it. I really honestly believed that I could do anything so long as I was willing to put the work in. And so despite my education, despite where I came from, despite the mountain of excuses that I could have had, I really truly believed if I applied myself, it would work. And as, you know, a mother of four now, I think about that every day because my kids don't have the same hunger as I do. They don't want for the same things that I do. But by the same token, I want them and need them to find their purpose and their passion and what they're gonna be good at. And so I think again, it, it all comes back down to how you see yourself and the stories that you tell yourself, and how kind we can be to ourselves, because you've got, like, one big relationship, one big love in your life, and that's you. The person I hear from most is me. I wake up with me in the, you know, in the morning. I go to bed with me at night. I'm chatting to myself the whole day, and I can choose that narrative, right? I can choose to be kind to myself. I can choose to tell me that I can do it, or I can create a really, really negative narrative and really negative patterns. And so I wake up every day, and I choose to tell myself that whatever it is, I can probably do it if I apply, if I learn, if I put 100% effort in, if I surround myself with the right people, all of those things. And so I think it's just, like, constantly practice who you want to be, and I just feel like I'm in, like, a forever practice of who it is I wanna be.

   11. JSJay Shetty14:22

       Yeah. I love that. [audience cheering] Yeah, absolutely. Give it up. It's, um,

8. 14:27 – 16:47

   Follow What Gives You Energy

   1. JSJay Shetty14:27

      it's such good advice, and it's so true. And I feel like with you, you were always certain from an early age what you were passionate about.

   2. EGEmma Grede14:35

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JSJay Shetty14:35

      Like, fashion became your whole life.

   4. EGEmma Grede14:38

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JSJay Shetty14:38

      Like, you've been obsessed with it since you were a young kid. And I feel like today, either it's because we're exposed to too many things or there's too many stories of success and all this kind of stuff, I think people are getting... People are struggling to know what they're passionate about.

   6. EGEmma Grede14:52

      Yes.

   7. JSJay Shetty14:53

      And I'm sure you get this question all the time, "Emma, how do I find my passion? How do I know what I'm passionate about?" Is passion even the right thing to look at? What do you suggest when people are like, "Emma, I have all these ideas. I don't know where to start"? How should people pick something, their lane, to focus on becoming excellent at?

   8. EGEmma Grede15:10

      Oh, you're gonna hate this. Don't look for your passion. Like, don't, don't, don't, don't. It's so difficult because the some... oftentimes the things that we love, I mean, they're not always great, right? [laughs]

   9. JSJay Shetty15:21

      [laughs]

   10. EGEmma Grede15:21

       I love a glass of red wine. I would've had three before I came on this stage if I was following my passion and what my heart was telling me to do.

   11. JSJay Shetty15:28

       [laughs]

   12. EGEmma Grede15:28

       But, um, it didn't seem right for On Purpose.

   13. JSJay Shetty15:31

       [laughs]

   14. EGEmma Grede15:31

       So I think that what you have to do is find what you're good at. Find what lights you up. And, you know, often I think about the things that give you energy versus the things that take energy away. You know, when I saw you backstage, I was like, "Oh my goodness, you must be exhausted, and you must just wanna go straight to sleep." And you said to me, "Actually, it takes me three hours to get to sleep after these shows because I'm so excited after."

   15. JSJay Shetty15:58

       [laughs]

   16. EGEmma Grede15:58

       And I was like, "Yeah, because you are living your purpose. You are doing what gives you energy." And so I think you should go around and find what gives you energy and what you are good at, where your natural skills are, you know, leaning. [audience cheering] And then you figure out your purpose. I don't think you can go around looking for the thing that is going to, you know, be, uh, you know... Uh, uh, you can't look around trying to figure out, like, "I am gonna have this big purpose," 'cause it's so, it's so rare that you ever get there. And oftentimes, you know, I don't think fashion was a purpose for me. I think I liked really nice things. And I think I needed to find a career that paid me really well so I could buy those nice things.

   17. JSJay Shetty16:42

       [laughs]

   18. EGEmma Grede16:43

       Right? Like, it wasn't... It's kinda true.

   19. JSJay Shetty16:46

       No, but the advice

9. 16:47 – 18:23

   How Competence Builds Real Confidence

   1. JSJay Shetty16:47

      to follow what you're good at is brilliant because competence build confidence.

   2. EGEmma Grede16:51

      Yes.

   3. JSJay Shetty16:52

      And I think a lot of us are trying to do it the other way around. We're like, "I wanna be confident," but you can't be confident if you don't feel competent, and the only time you feel competent is when you do something you're really good at, and something you're willing to get really good at.

   4. EGEmma Grede17:03

      Yes.

   5. JSJay Shetty17:04

      Right? It's not like you may not be good at the thing you wanna be good at right now, but you're more likely to dedicate time to it if you think, "Oh, I really wanna excel at that." I think one of the biggest challenges I see for a lot of people is if you only focus on passion, which by the way, I love your advice, if you only follow your passion, when things get hard, you then feel not passionate about it, whereas if you follow what you're good at, you realize whether things are going well or not, you've just gotta get better.

   6. EGEmma Grede17:30

      Listen, a million percent, and I love that you talk about focus because I'm obsessed with this idea of true focus. You know, focus is a force multiplier in business. It's a force multiplier in work. When you figure out what you can actually dedicate yourself to and give all of your focus, and you truly do that, whether in your life, in your business, in your relationships, you will find unbelievable unlocks. I don't know anyone who is successful who hasn't been unbelievably, unequivocally focused on something and gone deep and deep and deep and figured more and more things out, and then found an unlock. And so I really think about that as something that is completely opens up a new world to you. And when you are willing to learn and to go really deep in one place, amazing things start happening. Like, they do. It's like, it really is

10. 18:23 – 20:52

    What’s Actually Distracting Us From True Focus?

    1. EGEmma Grede18:23

       like magic.

    2. JSJay Shetty18:23

       What distracts us from focus? Like, what is it that's blocking us from becoming that single-minded? There... You reminded me of one of my favorite pieces of wisdom fromBruce Lee.

    3. EGEmma Grede18:33

       Mm.

    4. JSJay Shetty18:33

       Bruce Lee once said, "I'm not scared of the person who's practiced 10,000 kicks once each. I'm scared of the person who's practiced one kick 10,000 times."

    5. EGEmma Grede18:43

       100 times. [laughs]

    6. JSJay Shetty18:44

       Right? Like, that's the person-

    7. EGEmma Grede18:45

       That-

    8. JSJay Shetty18:45

       ... that's scary

    9. EGEmma Grede18:46

       ... that's [laughs]

    10. JSJay Shetty18:46

        Like, the person who's practiced the same thing over and over again-

    11. EGEmma Grede18:50

        Mm

    12. JSJay Shetty18:50

        ... that laser-like focus, that's the scary person.

    13. EGEmma Grede18:53

        Yes.

    14. JSJay Shetty18:53

        The person who's got scattered attention, they're not even in the competition.

    15. EGEmma Grede18:58

        Yeah.

    16. JSJay Shetty18:58

        But why is it that we all end up being those kind of people who are like, "Okay, I've gotta spend time with my family, gotta figure this out. Oh, I've gotta do these three things over here"? Like, that's what we all fill our life with.

    17. EGEmma Grede19:07

        Well, because I feel like we're in a culture right now that tells us that you have to do and be so many different things.

    18. JSJay Shetty19:13

        Mm.

    19. EGEmma Grede19:14

        You know, when I grew up, it's like you drove a van, you were a carpenter, you worked in a store, you were a chef. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, you were a thing, and now we all believe that we should be so many different things. And the truth is that it's so rewarding to get good at something. Like, I consider myself... People say to me, "Emma, how do you do so many things? You have so many businesses." It's like I do one thing really, really well. I'm an excellent merchant. I understand what people want to buy and how much they're willing to pay for it, and I do that over and over and over and over again. That's that. That's it. That's, that's all I do. And it's really important to know and to, uh, figure out how you can go deep on something and not spread yourself too thinly, and I think this idea, you know, we, as a, as a society, we really believe these stories of like, you know, uh, overnight success, but it isn't true, right? It's not a career plan to think like that, and if I'm really, really honest, I have never, ever worked harder in my life than I do today, and that's, that's the honest truth. It doesn't get easier when you get more successful. It gets much more difficult. And so I think if that's the life that you're looking for and you wanna do great things, you've gotta be willing to sacrifice some other stuff and go deep on one thing.

    20. JSJay Shetty20:34

        Yeah, and when you do it, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice-

    21. EGEmma Grede20:37

        No, not at all

    22. JSJay Shetty20:38

        ... because it's so fulfilling.

    23. EGEmma Grede20:39

        100%. It just might feel like, "Oh, my goodness, there were all of these options that I had," but to me, it's really interesting to think about where your strengths are and find what you're good at and go into that thing.

11. 20:52 – 24:46

    Build a Circle That Complements Your Strengths

    1. JSJay Shetty20:52

       Yeah. I love the way you articulate your strengths. I remember years ago, and I, I have no affiliation with this platform, but it's amazing. I remember years ago, I did something called Strengths Finder.

    2. EGEmma Grede21:01

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JSJay Shetty21:02

       And it's this test that asks you all these questions. It's like $50 on the internet. You fill it out, and it will give you your top 34 strengths-

    4. EGEmma Grede21:09

       Oh, wow

    5. JSJay Shetty21:09

       ... in order.

    6. EGEmma Grede21:10

       You have 34 strengths, Jay Shetty? [laughs]

    7. JSJay Shetty21:12

       Not me. No, everyone. Everyone, everyone has 34 strengths.

    8. EGEmma Grede21:14

       [laughs]

    9. JSJay Shetty21:14

       It ranks them in order.

    10. EGEmma Grede21:15

        Just Jay has 34 strengths.

    11. JSJay Shetty21:17

        [laughs]

    12. EGEmma Grede21:17

        We all have three. [laughs]

    13. JSJay Shetty21:20

        [laughs] No, no, no. The, the model is 34 strengths.

    14. EGEmma Grede21:22

        [laughs]

    15. JSJay Shetty21:22

        Everyone will get 34. I promise. But it's all about your top five strengths, and what's fascinating to me is when I did that, and it's a, it's a thing you've gotta take an hour to do properly.

    16. EGEmma Grede21:31

        Mm.

    17. JSJay Shetty21:31

        Of course, the more self-aware you are, the better it is. When I looked at my top five strengths, and I imagine if you looked at yours, and I use this when I'm hiring, I use this when I'm meeting people, I use it with clients. When I look at my top five strengths, I knew four of them, but I didn't know the first one.

    18. EGEmma Grede21:48

        Wow. Really?

    19. JSJay Shetty21:49

        And when I saw it on that piece of paper, like, I mean, sorry, on the digital PDF that it sends you back, I was like, "I had no idea that that was my top strength." And from that day on, I leaned into that strength.

    20. EGEmma Grede22:02

        Well, now you've gotta tell us what your top strength is.

    21. JSJay Shetty22:03

        Yeah, I will.

    22. EGEmma Grede22:04

        Like, what is happening?

    23. JSJay Shetty22:04

        So, so my, my top five, I'll tell the four first before the first one. Uh, there's, communications is in my top five. Uh, intellec-

    24. EGEmma Grede22:11

        We agree.

    25. JSJay Shetty22:12

        Yeah. [laughs]

    26. EGEmma Grede22:13

        [laughs]

    27. JSJay Shetty22:13

        Uh, ideation, intellection. So ideation's coming up with original ideas.

    28. EGEmma Grede22:17

        Yeah.

    29. JSJay Shetty22:17

        And intellection's having, uh, thoughtful, reflective discussions. Um, and then the fourth one, ideation, intellection, what'd I say? Communication, and there's one more in there I can't remember. And the top one, number one, was strategy.

    30. EGEmma Grede22:32

        Strategy?
12. 24:46 – 28:38

    Teaching Kids to Chase Their Own Dreams

    1. JSJay Shetty24:46

       As I'm listening to you, I'm just thinking about how this self-awareness principle for everyone sitting here is, is so powerful, and we're so told in society to get better at what we're bad at.

    2. EGEmma Grede24:57

       [laughs]

    3. JSJay Shetty24:58

       And I remember, and, and this is real for me, when I became a consultant after I left the monastery, finally got a job. I was lucky to get a job. I was rejected by 40 companies before I got it, and when I finally got that job, they were telling me, "You've gotta be good at Excel. You've gotta be good at PowerPoint."

    4. EGEmma Grede25:14

       Ah.

    5. JSJay Shetty25:14

       "You gotta be good at this. You gotta be good at this." And it was like a suite of things you had to be good at. And I was like-

    6. EGEmma Grede25:19

       [laughs]

    7. JSJay Shetty25:19

       ... "I do not wanna be good at Microsoft Excel."

    8. EGEmma Grede25:21

       [laughs]

    9. JSJay Shetty25:21

       Like, I, I, I still don't know how to do it.

    10. EGEmma Grede25:24

        I don't even wanna be good. [laughs]

    11. JSJay Shetty25:25

        I still don't know how to do a VLOOKUP, right? For any of you geeks out there. Uh, and it-

    12. EGEmma Grede25:29

        This is the wrong town to, to admit that.

    13. JSJay Shetty25:31

        [laughs] Yeah.

    14. EGEmma Grede25:31

        Let me tell you. They're, like, so past that here. [laughs]

    15. JSJay Shetty25:35

        I know. They're like, "Oh, Jay."

    16. EGEmma Grede25:36

        They're like, "Bro, seriously, we're, like, AI in over here." [laughs]

    17. JSJay Shetty25:40

        Yeah. But it's that kind of idea of, like, you're so, you're draw- you're told to get good at things-

    18. EGEmma Grede25:44

        Yeah

    19. JSJay Shetty25:45

        ... that aren't your thing. And you constantly are wasting all this time and energy, focus, talking about focus. You've got a finite amount of focus.

    20. EGEmma Grede25:52

        Mm-hmm.

    21. JSJay Shetty25:53

        And if you're spending it on all the things you're not that great at, maybe you'll get average at those. But if you put it in the things, as Emma's saying, in the things you're good at, you could become phenomenal at those, and that's what we need to encourage people to do.

    22. EGEmma Grede26:05

        Yes. It's really true.

    23. JSJay Shetty26:06

        Yeah.

    24. EGEmma Grede26:07

        Really true.

    25. JSJay Shetty26:07

        Emma, I wanted to ask you, you have, uh, four adorable children.

    26. EGEmma Grede26:11

        Adorable.

    27. JSJay Shetty26:11

        Adorable. Like, the cutest. Like, truly the cutest. You post about them all the time as well. You have an amazing husband as well, who I love. Jens, like-

    28. EGEmma Grede26:18

        So lucky

    29. JSJay Shetty26:18

        ... what a great man.

    30. EGEmma Grede26:19

        Lucky girl.
13. 28:38 – 32:25

    Defining Your Life’s Non-Negotiables

    1. JSJay Shetty28:38

       It's, you know, I can only speak about it from being a son to, to a mom that I love, and I, I've told you this before, like, my mom was the breadwinner of the house. She'd wake up in the morning, make me and my sister lunch to take with us to school, make us breakfast. She'd drop us to school, go to work. We'd get picked up by, um, a, a nanny from school. We'd wait there for a couple of hours. My mom would come back from work, pick us up, make us dinner, help us with our homework, and then go back to work in the evening. And I really believe that my work ethic is because of watching my mom work.

    2. EGEmma Grede29:14

       Yes.

    3. JSJay Shetty29:14

       And here's the interesting thing. I didn't have a lot of time with my mom growing up, but I never felt unloved.

    4. EGEmma Grede29:20

       Mm-hmm.

    5. JSJay Shetty29:21

       And I've started to realize that time doesn't equal love, but that's what we've all convinced ourself.

    6. EGEmma Grede29:27

       Yeah.

    7. JSJay Shetty29:27

       We're like, "If I'm there for you all the time, then that means I love you." And actually, that's not the case, because if I'm there all the time, but I'm not happy, I'm not really present, I'm on my phone, I'm distracted, I'm over-entertaining you, you don't get time to be bored, you don't get time to be disconnect, time doesn't equal love. And I feel like today we put a lot of pressure on parents to have to be everything at home and perform at work-

    8. EGEmma Grede29:51

       Yes

    9. JSJay Shetty29:51

       ... and be amazing partners. When I look around, it's, like, really hard on my friends that I see having that pressure to be a perfect parent, a perfect professional, a perfect partner, a perfect everything.

    10. EGEmma Grede30:02

        Yeah.

    11. JSJay Shetty30:02

        Whereas it wasn't like that.

    12. EGEmma Grede30:03

        But we also have to figure out where does that pressure come from, right? Because oftentimes it's coming from some outside source, or we're putting it on ourselves. And I did an exercise for myself when I first had Grace, so, like, 11 years ago, and I wrote down what was important to me. Because you know what? There are certain non-negotiables. Like, if my kid's in a play, if they're, you know, like, we had a big graduation thing today, like, I am there. But I don't know that I think it's important to make, like, Instagrammable lunchboxes.

    13. JSJay Shetty30:37

        [laughs]

    14. EGEmma Grede30:37

        Like, that's not something I need to do.

    15. JSJay Shetty30:39

        [laughs]

    16. EGEmma Grede30:40

        You know? And so I don't do thatBut you know, it's like, it-- so it's really important to figure out, like, are these my standards or are these somebody else's standards, and what are my non-negotiables? And so I feel like once you get there, everything suddenly falls into place, and that's the important thing, like in all parts of our life. Like, where are my standards? Where are the places that I feel that I will absolutely not be happy if these things are happening in my life? Where are the places that I feel like I would be making a sacrifice versus what is everybody else thinking of me? What did I see that I feel like I need to be keeping up with? What do the school tell me, you know, I need to do? Because half the time, if, you know, if you can level with things in your own life, like you'll be okay. So I think it's really important, and I constantly have those conversations with myself because life, it... You're, you're in this constant change mode, hopefully, right? Like, what worked for my kids when they were five doesn't work for them at 11. And so I try to reassess constantly, like, how do I really feel about these things? And I write it down. I'm like, "It's really important for me to have a girls' trip once a year," and I do that every single year without fail. Like, I don't, like I don't negotiate. I don't like say to my husband, "Oh, I can't," [laughing] like, "can't figure out the dates." It's like, it is happening. That is one of the things that makes me happy because those connections, those relationships are something that I find absolutely precious. And so I just have a bunch of things that I feel are non-negotiable in my life, but they're mine. It's my list. I own it. It doesn't belong to anyone else, and it doesn't come from anywhere else. And the rest I just say, like, "I'm not doing it."

    17. JSJay Shetty32:19

        [laughing] So good. So good. Honestly, like I, I

14. 32:25 – 37:46

    How to Choose What Truly Matters

    1. JSJay Shetty32:25

       love the standard piece because maybe someone's standard is to make Instagrammable lunches.

    2. EGEmma Grede32:29

       Yes.

    3. JSJay Shetty32:29

       And that's beautiful.

    4. EGEmma Grede32:30

       And good for them.

    5. JSJay Shetty32:30

       Yeah.

    6. EGEmma Grede32:30

       I love watching those videos.

    7. JSJay Shetty32:32

       Exactly.

    8. EGEmma Grede32:32

       I'll watch the video.

    9. JSJay Shetty32:33

       Yeah.

    10. EGEmma Grede32:33

        I just don't wanna make the lunch. [laughing]

    11. JSJay Shetty32:35

        [laughing] And that's what's so beautiful, and that's, that's kind of where we're struggling, I feel, where we're making someone else's standards our standards, as you said, and that's where everything goes wrong.

    12. EGEmma Grede32:44

        Mm-hmm.

    13. JSJay Shetty32:45

        You know, and a- again, I wanna go back to a point you made earlier about this. Women get this, asked this question, especially as CEOs, especially as business builders, far more disproportionately than men. To be honest, I don't think men even get asked this. And so when I'm asking this, I'm asking it self-aware and wanna make that point that women always get asked, "How, how do you balance it all?" Right? Which men don't get asked. Like if I'm sitting with a male CEO-

    14. EGEmma Grede33:08

        Ever. Ever

    15. JSJay Shetty33:08

        ... no one goes, "Hey, wait a minute. How do you balance it all?"

    16. EGEmma Grede33:10

        Yeah. "Yo, Elon, how's the balance going with your 17 [censored] kids?" Like...

    17. JSJay Shetty33:15

        [laughing] But- [laughing]

    18. EGEmma Grede33:24

        [sighing]

    19. JSJay Shetty33:24

        And so I ask it for that reaction, right? And, and, and you get asked it and all the rest of it, and then how have you been able to... And, and this is true for me too when I think about it, but you've done it with... You do have beautiful k- we were just literally, when I saw you this today, you were FaceTiming your daughter.

    20. EGEmma Grede33:43

        Yeah.

    21. JSJay Shetty33:43

        And she was building a crown.

    22. EGEmma Grede33:44

        She'd made a Magna-Tile thing.

    23. JSJay Shetty33:46

        Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was beautiful.

    24. EGEmma Grede33:47

        She was so happy with it. [laughing]

    25. JSJay Shetty33:48

        She was so happy. It was beautiful. And we were talking today, and then, and then Jens, your husband, who I know too, and he's like having dinner while you're getting ready, and you're chatting, and it's so beautiful to see, right? And like you're finding time-

    26. EGEmma Grede34:00

        Mm

    27. JSJay Shetty34:00

        ... for all of these really important relationships even though you've been so kind to come out and help me out with this. And so when I see that happening, I'm like, "What does it take? What does it take to be the powerhouse CEO, to be a present wife, to be a connected mom?" Like what is that taking? And I know y- I know you don't believe in perfection.

    28. EGEmma Grede34:19

        I don't.

    29. JSJay Shetty34:20

        But what, what is that? What does it take?

    30. EGEmma Grede34:23

        So at the risk of sounding and saying things that I've said a lot, I do talk about the ideas of trade-offs all the time. I talk about the idea of an unbelievable amount of help. But I think the most important thing to talk about in the context of where we are today is really thinking about ourselves, really thinking about ourselves. Because if the standard, and if people look at me and think, "Well, you know, her hair's done, and the husband's nice, and the kids look perfect, and that house is good, and she's running all these companies," you would've missed the entire point of me. Because what I do well is what works for me. That's what works for me. And I think that if we think for one second that we have to emulate and we have to take pieces of everybody's life, like that's where we start to go wrong. So for me, I have nannies. I have other people that do things in the house. I have like so much help, but I've never had a problem my whole life in asking for help. It's something that I do all the time. If I have a problem in my business, I call a competitor. If I can't figure something out, like I'm on the phone trying to work it through, and that becomes a pattern in your life, like asking for help, not comparing yourself. And so what I say to not just women, to, to everyone who's trying to figure out how to do all their stuff is work it out for yourself. Don't let the standards of what you see around you impede on how you feel. Because the idea that anyone's got it all down is just fake, and I don't. [applauding] Like, that's the truth. Every single day, if you see me here, it means that my kids didn't have me at dinner tonight. If you see me here right now, it means that I'm giving something else up. And so my life is this series of trade-offs. It is this series of, I'm doing one thing, but I made this decision today 'cause I was like, "I wanna go to Jay Shetty and talk to all the people." [laughing]
15. 37:46 – 40:59

    Owning Your Truth Creates New Opportunities

    1. JSJay Shetty37:46

       I really feel like your voice in this space is so refreshing. It's so revolutionary. It's totally redefining what women can think about, of what's possible, what's expected of them, what's, what, what's perfect, what's not, what's real. And I feel like you just being real and honest is genuinely what's needed in this space. I don't know anyone else who's doing it, and it's so... It's something I love about you. I'm in awe of you, and I admire it so, so deeply. I mean it.

    2. EGEmma Grede38:14

       Oh, I love you, Jay.

    3. JSJay Shetty38:14

       And so [laughs] -

    4. EGEmma Grede38:15

       Thanks, Jay.

    5. JSJay Shetty38:16

       Ah.

    6. EGEmma Grede38:16

       I'll pay you later. [laughs]

    7. JSJay Shetty38:17

       [laughs] No, I mean it.

    8. EGEmma Grede38:18

       I love you. But I have to tell everyone that on my first day of filming, I filmed with Jay. [laughs] And I wanted to die. I was like, "Why are you the first person [laughs] that I'm filming with?" You know, you w- because, and I tell you why, because this is... And it speaks so much to who you are. You know, I thought about my dream guests. I was like, "Who do I wanna talk to?" And so I text Jay, and I thought, "You know what? He'll wanna see the show, and he'll c- watch a couple of episodes, and maybe if I'm super lucky, in, like, six or nine months he'll come on the pod." But of course you were like, "Yeah, um, when should I come?" And I was like, "Oh, shit." [laughs]

    9. JSJay Shetty38:50

       [laughs]

    10. EGEmma Grede38:50

        Like, I can't believe it. So you were the first person, which was so crazy. But, you know, I'm really happy to be doing this thing because I've spent my entire career building businesses, and after a while you start to realize that as much of a solution you are, you're also part of the problem, right? You're part of the problem of what people look to and see sometimes as unattainable. And so what I wanted to do with this podcast was, A, start telling the truth, B, to really talk about, like, what it takes because I feel like there's so much toxic positivity out there, and it's totally unhelpful for all of us. So I was like, "I'm gonna tell the truth. I'm gonna, you know, be me from East London," which means, like, really tell the truth.

    11. JSJay Shetty39:34

        [laughs]

    12. EGEmma Grede39:35

        Um, and you know, I'm gonna get the people that I have worked so hard to get to know because they will come on, and they will speak to me in a way that perhaps they wouldn't to somebody else. And it's been amazing because I really look at, you know, we're all in some way trying to build the life of our dreams. We're all trying to live out this idea of what we find inspiring. But it's different for different people, and we all have different opportunities. And the more I would go around this country, I'd get constantly stopped by people that would say to me, "I've got two kids, and I'm, like, 35, and I just wanna change, and could you give me some advice?" And I thought, "Wouldn't it be amazing if you could figure out how you could scale mentorship?" And so for me, the idea was just that simple, just have conversations, be really honest, talk to the people that I aspire to the most, and give people the tools so that they can make and build the life of their dreams. And it's honestly been, like, the biggest privilege because I feel like when you come at something with a really good intention, like, unbelievable things happen. And it's only been, I don't know, it's been, like, a, a couple of months of filming, but I feel like it's been pretty magical. And people are doing exactly that. They're coming there. They're telling the truth, and it's actually helping people.

    13. JSJay Shetty40:55

        What more do you need? I love it. Nothing. I love it. All right. Actually,

16. 40:59 – 48:33

    Start Small: Scale Down and Test Your Idea

    1. JSJay Shetty40:59

       I wanna take you up on that. I wanna take you up on that, Emma. I'm gonna give someone a really special opportunity today, and therefore, I want you to really honor it. If you raise your hand, I want it to be because you have something really valuable and something really thought through and something really mature in your idea because I believe it's such a special opportunity. Tonight's been all about doing things, not caring about what people think, to take your moment, to make sure that you don't miss out, to say, "I'll do that," as Emma taught us earlier. I wanna give someone the opportunity in a moment to come up here and have 60 seconds to elevate a pitch, their idea, to the one and only Emma Grede.

    2. EGEmma Grede41:43

       Ooh. [laughs]

    3. JSJay Shetty41:44

       So if anyone has a business idea, a dream for a business idea, a company, AI-

    4. EGEmma Grede41:50

       Oh my God

    5. JSJay Shetty41:50

       ... whatever it is-

    6. EGEmma Grede41:51

       They can. They can. They can

    7. JSJay Shetty41:51

       ... I want you to raise your hand. I'm taking a look around. Raise your hand. Raise your hand. I'm seeing a lot of people. This is great. I'm looking up there up the top. I see the light as well. I see the light as well. Let me go, let me go do a... I'm gonna come out and talk to a few people. I'm gonna pick someone.

    8. EGEmma Grede42:05

       Oh my God, he's a Roman reporter.

    9. JSJay Shetty42:07

       That's right. I wanna see. I'm gonna get out in the audience. Give it up for Kate, everyone. [audience cheering]

    10. EGEmma Grede42:13

        Well done. [laughs] I love it.

    11. SPSpeaker42:16

        Nice to meet you.

    12. EGEmma Grede42:16

        So nice to meet you.

    13. SPSpeaker42:17

        Hello.

    14. EGEmma Grede42:18

        Congratulations.

    15. SPSpeaker42:19

        Thank you.

    16. EGEmma Grede42:19

        Well done for standing. I chose you 'cause you stood up.

    17. SPSpeaker42:21

        Ah, I'm very excited.

    18. JSJay Shetty42:22

        Kate, I'm gonna ask you to come over here on our spot. This is for you.

    19. SPSpeaker42:28

        Thank you.

    20. JSJay Shetty42:28

        We're gonna give you 60 seconds to share your elevator pitch to the one and only Emma Grede and the audience, of course.

    21. SPSpeaker42:37

        Hello. My name is Kate Wood. I'm from Redding, California.

    22. EGEmma Grede42:41

        Whoo.

    23. SPSpeaker42:41

        Um, in 2020 I had twins as well.

    24. EGEmma Grede42:45

        Oh.

    25. SPSpeaker42:45

        About, um, eight months later I o- opened my first restaurant. Uh, about six weeks ago I opened my second restaurant.

    26. JSJay Shetty42:52

        [audience cheering]

    27. SPSpeaker42:52

        But I've always had this-

    28. EGEmma Grede42:55

        I've always had this dream to have a YouTube show and take it to the Food Network. My dream is to start a show called Stage, and where you can either take celebrities or other people, um, influencers, and each season would be that person, and you put them in different spaces for an episode. So each episode would have an adventure challenge, it would have like a high-end challenge, and it would also have something really, like, heartwarming. All in the food industry. We expose... You can expose meat packaging places. You could go into prisons, you could go to high-end, uh, Michelin Star restaurants. But each episode, that celebrity or that person would be a stage, and you'd have to take on those challenges, you'd have to step into that risk, you would have to expose different parts of this industry, and it's sort of this meeting between Triple D and, uh, Dirty Jobs.

    29. JSJay Shetty43:55

        Love. Love.

    30. EGEmma Grede43:56

        But all in the food industry, because it's such a huge industry that I love so much, and it takes so much every day for us to make this happen. And we all just love creating food and feeding people. And so I just thought it'd be a really lovely TV show idea, and I would have to take that first step to be a stage.

Episode duration: 48:33