Jay Shetty Podcast#1 Entrepreneur Reveals the Real Secret to Success (You’re Focusing on the Wrong Thing)
EVERY SPOKEN WORD
70 min read · 14,395 words- 0:00 – 1:07
Intro
- DGDavid Grutman
I never thought in a million years I'd be a cameo in a Super Bowl or have a restaurant. People think, "Oh, you're just killing." But anything you can imagine messing up, I've messed up. The only thing I try not to mess up is relationships. If I'm your friend, I'm gonna push you so hard. But if you're bad to me-
- JSJay Shetty
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. I know that you guys love being entrepreneurs. You love trying to find new entrepreneurs that you can follow, learn from. Maybe some of you are inside companies and you wanna build within them, or maybe you wanna quit your job and start something new. If any of those are true for you, this episode is for you. Today I'm joined by David Grutman, the entrepreneur behind some of the most successful restaurants and nightlife venues in the world. If you're trying to build a business, grow your career, or create something that stands out in a crowded world, this episode is packed with lessons you won't wanna miss. Please welcome to On Purpose, David Grutman.
- DGDavid Grutman
Ah.
- JSJay Shetty
David-
- DGDavid Grutman
Thank you
- JSJay Shetty
... congrats on an incredible career so far. Congrats on an amazing book.
- DGDavid Grutman
Thank you.
- JSJay Shetty
So excited to dive into your mind.
- 1:07 – 5:06
Why You Should Take It Personal
- JSJay Shetty
And I thought the best place to start was with the title because I thought Take It Personal almost feels like the opposite advice that everyone always says.
- DGDavid Grutman
Right. Doesn't everyone say, "Don't take it personal"? I think it's because of how deep I take it. I- Like how much I care about your experience, how much I care about the person, how much I care about that relationship. And if you care that much, there's no other choice but to take it personal. And it's, it's part of my success.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. I, I find that... When was the first time you realized that it was good to take it personal? Because when you're growing up and if you're failing, everyone's like, "Oh, don't take it personally." If you got rejected from that company, "Don't take it personally." Or if, you know... When, when did you realize that actually the opposite was right?
- DGDavid Grutman
I realized when I started making m- mistakes. When I started, you know, when I first started my career and the general manager would come at me so hard and would be so upset. That's when to me it really resonated with me, and that showed me that this is how I change, how I make, how I'm able to get better was because of how deep inside it, it hurt me. That's where the real change happened. But when I started my career and I would... You know, because of being young and just l- learning the business, when I really messed up, they really came down on me. I was just like, "Ugh." I never wanna disappoint anybody, but the best lessons I've ever learned was when I made mistakes, even today.
- JSJay Shetty
What, what was the biggest mistake you made back then that they came down hard for you?
- DGDavid Grutman
I mean, Jay, come on. I've, [laughs] I've yelled at people when I was, like, a manager. I'm like, "You can't yell." I've, like ... 'cause of insecurities. I've, I've just messed up ev- anything you could imagine messing up in my life, I've messed up. The only thing I try not to mess up is relationships. I went to make a money drop, and it got stolen out of my car. I've given bad change. I've closed out wrong. I've forgot to lock this. I've done... When you make a mistake and someone is like... y- you could see that someone's very angry with you, I'm just like that. And then later on in my career, because I focus so much on these relationships, when they don't go to my place and they go somewhere else, that's where it really goes south.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But when I'm hearing this, people coming... A lot of the time when people come down hard on us when we make a mistake, we almost feel like we don't deserve it, right? But you're saying that you saw it as care?
- DGDavid Grutman
When people take the time to really get upset with me, at that time, I probably took it as, "Wow, they really care about me."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Which made me even worry about it more. Now, as I grow in my life, people would always say to me, "Don't take it personal. Don't worry about it. Da, da, da." And I'm always like, "What are you talking about, man? Person's not coming to my place. They're going next door. That's, that's an issue for me." And I try to really put my t- around my team, I'm like, "Guys, your- why is your friend doing their birthday party at another restaurant? Why is this person that we take care of all the time hanging out at that nightclub? If I don't take it personal and you don't take, and you don't take it personal, we're never gonna win." So my team really c- come... They'll call me and be like, "Just so you know, I'm taking this one personal, David."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
And I'm like, "Great. I love that."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. I like it as a mantra. I like it as a reframe right now.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I think it just keeps evolving too. Like, I want people to really know that it hurts me personally. I want you to think about it for that split second if you choose another restaurant over mine, Dave's gonna get upset with me.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
I want them to, to kinda know that. So at least there's a, at least a l- more thought if they don't go to one of my spots.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. Now I, now I need to be careful in Miami when I'm next there.
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh, no. Just so you know, wh- when people come to Miami, I'm tracking you like an endangered species.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
I'm like I'm watching everything you're doing. Oh, okay, that's where they're going. Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
I see where you are, yeah. That's hilarious. I love that.
- DGDavid Grutman
And friends of mine that open restaurants in Miami and stuff, they're like, "I, I hope you give this person the warm welcome you gave me," 'cause I was like, "You're not going there."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And whatever, but, you know. As I get older, I, I want other people to win too, and I, and... But still, I take it-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
I get really upset, Jay, if you go somewhere else.
- JSJay Shetty
That's brilliant. I love that mentality. It's
- 5:06 – 7:11
The Small Details That Make People Feel Seen
- JSJay Shetty
so cool. When, when you started out as a bartender, you s- you said you made a lot of mistakes, but do you think you had a skill or an ability at that time that's made you successful today?
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah. Definitely my interactions with people and remembering their drinks and having the drink waiting for them when they would j- when they were walking in and stuff like that. I think the little things that you make people feel seen and cared about is what really matters. Even bar- like bartending, listen, what I loved about it is that I love to serve people, and I think serving even at the bar is like the greatest. When you make them a cocktail they never had or just by having their drink that they, that they love having there and having the one-on-one conversations with people really helped me build relationships.
- JSJay Shetty
What, what made you do that then? You say this in the book. You're like, "I didn't know when I started out that I was ever gonna build this empire."
- DGDavid Grutman
Ever.
- JSJay Shetty
But you had that mentality then. Like... And obviously, I'm guessing you weren't getting paid incredibly well.
- DGDavid Grutman
No, no, no. I was-
- JSJay Shetty
Oh, okay. Okay
- DGDavid Grutman
... so, so I was making $100,000 a year bartending at a restaurant in the mall
- JSJay Shetty
How?
- DGDavid Grutman
Because these gol- these guys would come off the golf course, give me $100 tips, all this kind of stuff.
- JSJay Shetty
So it was in tips you were making most of your money?
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah. And I really loved to see the managers working and the maître d' and all that. I'm like, "I wanna be a manager." And they're like, "Well, that pays 33 grand a year." And I was like, "I'll take it." [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
I-- 'Cause you don't care. Money's not your, your end goal, and investing in yourself, too, it matters so much. And I was so excited to be that manager on the floor. And let me tell you, these people had experience for 20, 30, 40 years, some of these servers and stuff like that. H-how am I gonna be the one that's gonna lead them in making sure they do everything right? So education's really where I focused in on, really taking the time to, for my server meeting each day, bringing pamphlets and port wine with chocolate cake and letting them sample and saying it's a for- And, like, giving them all the information on what that port wine. It's a fortified wine. It's from Portugal. It pairs well with this, this, and this. You guys taste it all. That's how I would kind of connect with people.
- JSJay Shetty
I, I can honestly say that when there's a good maître d' or a good manager at a restaurant, you feel the difference. Like, you absolutely feel the difference. Where were you
- 7:11 – 7:59
The Real Path to Self-Improvement
- JSJay Shetty
learning these skills from?
- DGDavid Grutman
I was lucky enough to have one of the owners of one of the first restaurants I was managing at was a guy named Burt Rapaport, and he made us go to, like, Seven Habits of Effective People and always looked for how, how can you do self-improvement? And I had great general-- When I was a young manager, I had great general managers that were like, you know... I always had this imposter thing that like, why am I a manager managing someone that has this kind of, kind of crazy experience over them? And that's-- And I see it now when I see managers yelling or screaming or whatever and not handling situations well, it's because they're not confident where they are at in life. And it's funny that now I know I'm much scarier by not screaming.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
But you have to look deeper than that. You have to see why are they reacting like that? W- 'Cause they wanna be a great leader, and they care about people, but why is it coming across like that?
- JSJay Shetty
How did you
- 7:59 – 9:06
Turning Anger Into Growth
- JSJay Shetty
transform your anger? 'Cause I feel like that's a natural reaction when you're new in business. You wanna get things right. You don't wanna let people down.
- DGDavid Grutman
And even now, I'm so de- Like, if I-- the music's too loud, the lighting's off, or I'm looking over... Like, either my friends really like going out to dinner with me, or they hate it, 'cause I'm constantly looking at, like-
- JSJay Shetty
At other people's restaurants or your own?
- DGDavid Grutman
No, no, at my own.
- JSJay Shetty
Oh.
- DGDavid Grutman
Just I'm looking at the thing. I'm like, "Turn the music down. Turn it up. Light, da, da, da. Oh, this server's not waiting on them." I, I'm looking at all the details. And a lot of my friends, they really enjoy 'cause it's like-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, it's fun
- DGDavid Grutman
... yeah, it's fun.
- JSJay Shetty
To learn, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And some are just like, "Can't you just focus on me?" And I'm like, "Then we should go somewhere else."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
"Because I can't focus on you, really, in my own place."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
And then I realized because of that, the, the bad effect of that is s- it tightens everybody up more because they know I'm watching, and I don't want them to choke, and I don't want them to be uncomfortable at work, but I just can't help myself. I'm not the kind of entrepreneur that r- that takes all the notes and then sends a nice email out the next day. I want things fixed right away. I want, like, real time situations, and I think in the hospitality business, you only get so many opportunities.
- 9:06 – 11:20
How to Give Feedback That Actually Works
- JSJay Shetty
What, what have you learned about giving people feedback that wins versus feedback that demoralizes people?
- DGDavid Grutman
People close up when you just torture them, but also, you know, the emotional bank account is something that is... People kind of joke about it, but the emotional bank account's a real thing. You can't just say, "Bad, bad, bad." You have to say good things too, 'cause you just don't wanna be in the red every time you go to that person. So taking that time, say, "You know what? Great job on that. Oh, I saw you, I saw the p- face on th- that person," or little wins like that that... And it's so hard when you're an entrepreneur to just talk about the good things, 'cause all you wanna do is talk about the bad things, right?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
But taking that time to make sure it's... 'Cause once you're in the black, you could, you could take some out of the deposit, you know?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Uh, that helps a lot. And to be calm. I used to be like, "And what were you thinking, and h- what's the thought?" You know, I, I, I used to always wanna know what was the thought process of you making that mistake? Where would you think, where did you think that was gonna be the right way to handle it?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. And that didn't work.
- DGDavid Grutman
It just is like, come on, now you're demeaning me. The, let's just say, and be specific. I'm always very specific with what I saw was wrong. It's not vague and like, "You know, maybe, kind of, I s- I think, you know, in this w-" "No. You, you order fired the entire meal. You didn't pace it out at all. You ruined the guest experience. They, they're gonna feel like they got pushed out of their pl- out of our place. Is that how you wanna be taken care of?" No. I'm very specific. You know, Mark Cuban, one time, I took him in the DJ booth, speaking of this. He goes, "Do you ever take a moment to really appreciate what you've done?" And I'm like, "No, Mark, what are you talking about?" I'm like, "Da, da, da, da. Of course not. Who takes the moment to appreciate? I'll do that later on." He goes, "No, no, no. Take the moment, man." And I try now. Kind-- I'm like, when it's like, when I know it's good, I'm just like, "Ah." It feels good.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
But in my business, you live, every day is a new day.
- JSJay Shetty
Totally.
- DGDavid Grutman
It's like... And this is where my competition goes wrong a lot. They just go, "Okay, we hit it out of the park." But there's tomorrow, and they forget about tomorrow.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, because people are eating every day, you're only as good as your-
- DGDavid Grutman
Nightclubs are going-
- JSJay Shetty
... last event
- DGDavid Grutman
... every DJ.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
There's a new DJ every week. I mean, it's, there's always something that's, someone's, you know, trying to beat you to the punch on.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- 11:20 – 12:52
Creating a 10/10 Customer Experience
- JSJay Shetty
Talk to me about how you get the confidence to even go, "Well, I'm gonna start my own," because that's not easy.
- DGDavid Grutman
So it's not easy. I, um, once I started taking over major club venues and feeling very confident on knowing the workings of that, did I start thinking like, "Well, I really wanna just be an entrepreneur. I don't wanna turn the needle for other people and not share in it." It's advice I tell a lot of my celebrity friends and friends that are, they take fees. They're, whatever. And I, I understand that people have to live, but I think if you're gonna turn the needle for someone, you better have some equity in that brand too.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And it's always better to take equity than just a fee for hire.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
But when I made that move, I started a company with two other partners. First, it was a marketing agency, because all these brands were coming to Miami, 'cause there was the VMAs, there was all sorts of marquee events.And these brands wanted to be treated like they do in New York or LA, serviced the same way. So I started that company. We sold that company. That company went bankrupt. I got the company back, and then I s- put restaurants and night... and everything in it, and I sold 51% to Live Nation right before COVID.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
But taking that first step of opening your own company, it's the best feeling ever. But to this day, people think, like, you know, "Oh, you're just killing it," but you have to make sure everyone else is first, and you're the last one as you, as you know to get paid. And there's some months that you don't get paid at all. People don't realize that, you know. They all just see, "Oh." And even when you're losing money, you still have to pay.
- JSJay Shetty
What was the difference in the
- 12:52 – 14:33
Every Day Is a New Opportunity
- JSJay Shetty
approach, the strategy, the mindset that actually allowed you to go and sell 51% of your company to Live Nation day before COVID, versus the guy that you grew up with who was a bartender, who was a manager that wanted it, too?
- DGDavid Grutman
Or what about the guys that were right next to me as I'm doing it that think that, you know, that just because you went and did it all, that they think they should be the same as you?
- JSJay Shetty
Sure.
- DGDavid Grutman
That's the hardest part ever, too, right? So you have to convince yourself first that this is what you, this is what your goal is. If I'm in the hospitality business, don't always wanna just be a... I wanna, I wanna be that owner. I wanna, I wanna open that place. Uh, of course, it's a lot of ego, I'm sure, as you can imagine, and, uh, it's just growing. I think that I have ADD so badly that I, once I've hit that thing, I wanna, "Now what else can I do? What else can I do?"
- JSJay Shetty
Who was the first person you had to convince?
- DGDavid Grutman
Komodo, I had to raise $10 million for Komodo, and my friends, they were like, "Listen, man, this is a big space. This is far away from everything. We're gonna do it, but we're kinda doing it just to, like..." And it turned out to be one of the greatest things I ever did, but it didn't start out great. I had to really push hard, hard, hard and convince people to come and see me at this restaurant. If you wanted to hang out with me, you'd have to hang out with me there. Any DJ that was playing at LIV, I'd make them go have dinner there. Any celebrity that came to town, I made sure we did a big dinner there. But I also focused on the other details, the food, the atmosphere, the vibe, the energy, everything, was a real hyper-focus for me that when people would come, that it was the best experience over. And then it became, uh, one of the top independent restaurants a couple years ago.
- JSJay Shetty
That was... But that you built after building LIV, right?
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah.
- 14:33 – 16:27
Building Something From Nothing
- JSJay Shetty
What was your first ever restaurant that you, like, first foray into hospitality ownership?
- DGDavid Grutman
So, uh, I had run a nightclub for this, these guys, the Oak Beach Group, for many years, and it was f- so successful, but they wouldn't make me a partner.
- JSJay Shetty
They wouldn't?
- DGDavid Grutman
They would not make me... I'm like, "Give me a piece. Come on, anything." Uh, they went, and this other club group did. They were opening a new club. "Okay, David, you're gonna be the, you're gonna be a partner with us," da, da, da. Everything I did was to try to make those other guys s- regret the fact that they didn't, [laughs] they didn't give me a piece. Because my ethics and my belief system was not lined up, I failed so bad, Jay. It was, I would throw the kitchen sink. I would do Christina Aguilera's birthday, and Kim, and da, da, everybody you could ever imagine. And everything I was doing was like, "Ah, they're gonna, now they're gonna regret." Yeah, they regretted that I failed so badly they bought the club from me.
- JSJay Shetty
No.
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh, yeah. So when I, when LIV opportunity came, I said, "You know what? I'm not gonna worry about anything. I'm just gonna do what I do, and I'm gonna do it really, really well." And that's LIV.
- JSJay Shetty
How did that opportunity come your way?
- DGDavid Grutman
So at first I was gonna partner with this guy from Las Vegas that was gonna open up a club there, and I was gonna be his partner, and he got into a little bit of trouble. And Jeff Soffer said, "Listen, I just wanna do it with you. Let me, let's just do the club together." And I'm like, "Okay, let's do it." And I said, "I wanna do things, I wanna do Vegas-style hospitality," 'cause Vegas was known for the service and the hospitality, and I wanted to bring that to Miami.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And everyone was like, "It's too far up. You're never gonna make it." But Jeff Soffer, who owns the Fontainebleau, was building the first Las Vegas-style resort-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... in Miami, where you had restaurants feeding the nightclub, and 1600, you know, insane amount of rooms, and just a, a whole, like, landscape that you don't wanna leave.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I really believed in it, and it was, it's turned out to be one of the greatest experiences of my life.
- JSJay Shetty
It seems like you built
- 16:27 – 19:51
The Power of Genuine Relationships
- JSJay Shetty
these incredible relationships from starting out as a bartender-
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... manager, owner when it failed, owner when it succeeded. A lot of people feel like when they're not the owner, they can't build good relationships.
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh, you know how many times I hear that? "Oh, I need a business card. I need a title. I need this, I need that." I go, "I never had any of that stuff, by the way."
- JSJay Shetty
So how did you do it?
- DGDavid Grutman
Because I always felt like I should be that person to have that relate- And I always asked stories, and I always walked like I had a destination, and I always believed in myself that, like, of course these people need to, I need to take care of these people. And I think when you're trying to add value to people, y- you have a different kind of stance than you do when you're trying to, like, take things from people. For me, I just wanted to add value and make people have the best time of their lives at my spots, whether I was a manager, a general manager. I say it all the time to my team, "You know, listen, in the hospitality business, a lot of people are using it as a transition job bef- be- before they get to where they wanna be." And I'm like, "Listen, if you wanna be a doctor, a lawyer, whatever it is, if you're a professional here, you're gonna be a professional whatever you do, and you might as well start being a professional right now." And I think by being a professional everything, it's part of your DNA. It's not like, "Oh, once I become successful, then I'm gonna start acting like that." That's, like, craziness.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. And, and I think y- you hit the nail on the head with the idea of if you don't have a title yet or you don't, you're not an owner, if you truly wanna make everyone else's night or add value, then you don't feel scared. You only feel scared when you're like, "What can I get from them?"
- DGDavid Grutman
What can I extract from the relationship?
- JSJay Shetty
"What are they, what are they gonna do for me?" And I think when you walk into a space, obviously the person who's the person you wanna network with is just gonna walk away, because they, they get a million people who wanna take from them.
- DGDavid Grutman
And, and I talk about this in my, in, in my book.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
At these dinner tables with like a celebrity or a power of business, if I didn't talk to everyone at the table, I wouldn't be here.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
If you just focus on that one person, you're never gonna, you're never gonna succeed.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I, I, I guess you're right. I guess, you know, coming at it where I'm just here to ha- make you have a great time, I'm not trying to extract anything out of it, you, your, you have a, your confidence level's a little bit different.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. I remember... You reminded me, I went to an event a few years back, and it was, it was for a particular individual, and I won't get into the details, but the point was everyone was there for this one person, and that's why everyone was invited to the event. It was at a friend's home. It was private. Maybe there were 30 people there, but the person who it was for only spent time with who they believed were the top five most important person-
- DGDavid Grutman
Ah
- JSJay Shetty
... people in the room, and they ignored 25 people. Now, granted, visually, those five people were the most important people in the room, but you don't know who the other 25 people are.
- DGDavid Grutman
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
Like, you have no clue. And the other 25 of us, who were not the most five people in-
- DGDavid Grutman
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... most important people in the room, kind of just walked away just thinking like, well, if you can't give your attention to 30 people, how are you gonna take care of like, you know, 300 million people at one point? So, you know, it's, it's a fascinating idea that I think people underestimate.
- DGDavid Grutman
And making the whole table feel special is so important. And by the way, I wanna know everyone's story, and those relationships from back then I still have today. And what people don't realize is, "Oh, it's just the manager. Oh, that's the agent." Oh, yeah? That agent controls 10, 20 great people that they're gonna send your way, or that publicist, whatever, and it's just like... But knowing that, even like, you know, some of these people have their best friends with them their whole lives, and they try- Hearing the best friend's stories-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
... is always like, wow.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you get better stories out of them. Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Way better.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
So it's, to me, it's always about people.
- 19:51 – 22:28
Does Networking Actually Work?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. What's a rule about people that you've learned that you think people don't understand, that most people don't, that most people miss?
- DGDavid Grutman
They go into it with some kind of, I don't know, agenda. I go, "Don't have an agenda." Just see what it's gonna be and if... what you can add value to, how you can help that person. Because by being a key holder of Miami, people are coming to spend a few days, and they wanna have a great time, and they wanna enjoy, but they, but it's also I want them to know how great my city is. Miami's the best city, I feel, in America, and I wanna show that to them. So I would take people to the art district, to this district, or this cool little restaurant that's not mine but has the, the, this insane whatever. And I love hosting people at my house.
- JSJay Shetty
Why is that important?
- DGDavid Grutman
'Cause I feel like the relationship when it's, when you're in someone's... In fact, I do all my meetings, Jay, at my house. Like, I have a great office, and there's a lot of people working. I'd much rather meet with you in my house than in an office setting.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. I'm the same. That's why you're here right now in my house. [laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
By the way-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... not a bad house.
- JSJay Shetty
No, but it's, it's the same feeling of like... I, I love hearing that from you because so when I... First when I moved to the States, I lived in New York. I was there for two years.
- DGDavid Grutman
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
And then we moved to LA eight years ago, and we've been in the US for 10 years now. So the two years in New York, I found that I spend a lot of time meeting people in restaurants-
- DGDavid Grutman
Ugh
- JSJay Shetty
... bars, things like that. As soon as I came to LA, I met someone at their house, and I was at their house for like eight hours, and I was like, "Gosh, I would never have spent eight hours." And it wasn't like the people were better. It was that spending time with someone in their home felt so much more intimate and deep than spending time in a bar for one and a half hours.
- DGDavid Grutman
I couldn't agree more. When you, when you spend time with per- people in your house, it's kinda like why they built the White House.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
You want them to feel like... A- and I feel like it's an edge too. Listen, when you're in... Once you have a personal relationship with somebody, it's much harder to say no to that person.
- JSJay Shetty
Do you try and make your places feel like home?
- DGDavid Grutman
I really care about people's hospitality from the moment they walk into my house to the end. I mean, we have great food, great drink. I'm always caring about what, what can I get you to drink, what can we get you to eat, and, and knowing what their likes are too before they even get there.
- JSJay Shetty
Do you think that you think about a good restaurant and a good club as also feeling like a home, or it's a different mindset?
- DGDavid Grutman
Different mindset. I think-
- JSJay Shetty
How would you... Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
I think your home is your home. Uh, but restaurant people wanna be serviced, but I don't want them to feel like they're over-serviced, where the person's on top of them, they can't have their own experience. I think that's where some people think great hospitality and great service is just every second on-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- DGDavid Grutman
... I think people want seamless service, and they wanna create their own experience.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't agree with you more.
- 22:28 – 26:50
How to Play the Long Game
- JSJay Shetty
You've partnered with so many massive names. I mean, I know you launched with Bad Bunny.
- DGDavid Grutman
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
And that's incredible. Talk to me about how that partnership came around.
- DGDavid Grutman
Again, long ball, long ball. I just love, like, l- long-term relationships, and you know, uh, we started a reggaeton night at LIV when it was just starting to bubble, and this guy Bad Bunny had so much engagement back then. It was, to me, I never... The only other time I saw that is when Abel first came on the scene and we started doing stuff with, with The Weeknd.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
The engagement that people... This is before he was like... People were like, 3,000 people would show up for this guy The Weeknd at the club, and same thing with Bad Bunny when we first... I'm like, "There's a guy named Bad Bunny?"
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
And then I became friendly with him. Drake comes down to s- to film his, to record his album Scorpios. I'm having dinner with him, and he goes, "Who's the number one reggaeton guy?" I'm like, "Dude, this guy Bad Bunny." He goes... I DM him. He doesn't respond to me. I'm like, "You sure you have the right Instagram for this guy?" I get his manager on the phone. His manager puts him on the phone with Drake. They do- He says, "Listen, either you're gonna come here, or I'm gonna go there." Bunny comes the next day with the whole team. They don't believe it's real. Everyone has promised him Drake. I'm like, "Listen, man, I'm not... [laughs] I'm just trying to help. That's it." They come to my house, waiting for Drake to call. Drake's manager calls and says, "Listen, he's not gonna see him tonight. He has to go do something else." I go, "What are you talking about? They're all in my backyard, man. They don't believe it's real. They might kill me." He goes, "Nope. Tomorrow." They get up. They leave. Couple minutes later, the other manager calls, the day-to-day. He says, "Listen, Drake wants to have dinner with him at Komodo th- that night." They all come. They go to Komodo Lounge, and then they record Mia.
- JSJay Shetty
No.
- DGDavid Grutman
So Mia, Mia.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah. It's a great song.
- DGDavid Grutman
Drake's album comes out, no me on the album. I go, "Oh no, they did the song. He's not g-..." They go, "Don't worry, David, Bunny's gonna release it, not Drake, and they wanna release in the summer." They release, the song's a huge hit.
- JSJay Shetty
Huge hit, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
They do the music video in Miami when he's, Drake's supposed to do, like, three days in Miami. It rains, Drake gets sick, cancels his show. Anyway, the song, they get the video, the song comes out huge. Later on, Drake's has to make up those shows, comes back to Miami. I go, "Why is Bad Bunny not coming out with you at one of your shows?" He goes, "He should come out." Again, I get to Bunny, and, and Noah saw his manager on the phone, and I go, "Noah, listen, Drake wants Bunny to come out with him at his show. I think he should do it." He goes, "No, no, no. His manager already told me he doesn't want him to come out. He doesn't wanna sing Spanish or anything like that." Drake, here you go. Can you guys come? They just landed in Vegas for the Grammys. They get back on the plane and come and go out with him on his show. So fast-forward, Live Nation, Michael Rapino, who runs Li- is the greatest human being partner ever, goes, "I wanna make Latin like I did with hip-hop with Roc Nation. I wanna do that with Latin." I go, "Well, let's start with the top." So he does this deal with Noah Assad at JV about bringing Latin acts to Live Nation. Bunny moves over and does a stadium tour with Ro- with Live Nation, and he puts in his contract, he says, "Okay, one other condition, if for me to do this is David Grutman does a restaurant with me."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
So Michael Rapino calls me and I go, "Come on." Are you like-
- JSJay Shetty
'Cause you were just hooking them up anyway. You're not, yeah, yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... Yeah, I'm like, "I'm so happy. I'm so happy-"
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... "that, that you guys are... This is great." He goes, "No, no, no. I need you to do this restaurant." I go, "Okay." Meanwhile, it's been the greatest experience and relationship between... Also, so there's Bad Bunny, but there's a guy named Noah Assad who's his manager, who I just, I love them both so much, and it- it's such a family.
- JSJay Shetty
And talk to me about the timeframe between you connecting him to Drake and that happening to the restaurant.
- DGDavid Grutman
Probably, like, three years, fi-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Just, but constantly.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. And, and that's the thing, you were setting them up when there was no benefit. You're not, you're not in on the deal. You're not making music.
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh no, I'm not an executive producer of the song.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
In fact, nobody even really knows.
- 26:50 – 29:30
The Truth About Real Success
- JSJay Shetty
man. No, uh, but, but I'm, I'm, I'm glad that the lesson is the long game because I think people underestimate-
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh
- JSJay Shetty
... people underestimate the power of that. I think there's such a transactional quick-win mentality now, believing that you've gotta... You know, and, and also even pretending for amounts of time to see what happens. Even that is not long game. Long game is just building loyal relationships.
- DGDavid Grutman
By the way, that's it, and I, you know-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... people say to me, "Oh, I wanna go network." I'm like, "What the f- is networking, man?" I go, "Networking is the worst thing. I wanna go have authentic relationships with people."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And you're right. I see it today all the time. They just wanna, like, what's the quick hit to do? And I'm just like-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... "Man, take the journey with people."
- JSJay Shetty
Totally.
- DGDavid Grutman
"Go the distance. You never know." I never thought in a million years I'd be a cameo in a Super Bowl or have a restaurant or that the guy that just partnered with me is trying to get Latin, I'm able to. Now Live Nation's the biggest in Latin.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I'm so happy. It's like-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, and that was all just stuff that was fun. It was just, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
By the way, and that's what I've also learned from Michael Rapino is, you know, listen, let's just, just go about it and things might come out. And by the way, sometimes nothing comes about it, and that's okay too.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
But you have these stories with people.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, totally. Totally.
- DGDavid Grutman
Like, it doesn't always have to be about a monetary situation.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more. I remember when I was, I was just starting out my career, and I became friendly with this guy who was around, at that time, he was, like, 70 years old. He was a jewelry designer, and his dad used to play harmonica for Frank Sinatra.
- DGDavid Grutman
Wow.
- JSJay Shetty
So he had loads of great stories of being in the car with his dad and Frank, and-
- DGDavid Grutman
Wow
- JSJay Shetty
... they would travel across the world and, you know, be in the back of a, you know, a bus, tour bus, I guess. And then he'd have all these stories. He designed jewelry, and the jewelry would end up on the front cover of, like, Vogue and Victoria's Secrets and all that kind of stuff. That was his career, and he'd have all these stones he'd find from Africa, and he'd tell me stories about where he just went in Africa and found this, like... And I, I would watch him, and I was probably, like, 26 at that time, and this guy's, like, 70. And I would just be like, "God, this guy's got so many great stories." And, and I used to just sit there and watch him and go like, "God, when I get older, I hope I have lots of stories." 'Cause I thought, what a cool life to live.
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah, I mean, I, I, I mean, and I love that my kids now get to have these relationships with these people, too, the n- the next generation. Like, my kids have no idea that this is so-and-so and this is so-and-so, but they're getting to meet some of the most amazing people that've changed our world.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And, and, you know, whether it's not just celebrity, it's also business and it's... And from, and my wife, too, like, to, for us to be around these kind of people is, is great. And-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... I love it.
- 29:30 – 30:56
Lessons From a Difficult Childhood
- JSJay Shetty
your childhood like?
- DGDavid Grutman
Difficult. I was, my parents got divorced when I was six. Uh, I was l- only child, left alone a lot by my mom when she'd be in real estate and stuff like that. And my father instantly remarried. She had a kid from another marriage. So for me, I'm like, my dad moved on with a new family. I'm here left alone by myself a lot. I grew up with, like, Silver Spoons and Family Ties and Different Strokes and Facts of Life and Charles in Charge. That's kinda, like, how I was raised.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
So it's a little weird. And then when I got older, I was kinda like the stovetop kid. I'm like, "What time are you having dinner? What time are you having dinner?" But I grew up in Naples, Florida. It's a really, uh, beautiful space to g- um, place to grow up. A lot of retired people, so a lot of my friends, you know, they're dead. They were 90 years old back then. No, I'm joking. But it also-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] I was like, "Yeah"
- DGDavid Grutman
... no, but you know what is, by being an only childYou're able to have conversations with adults-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- DGDavid Grutman
... 'cause you're around more adults than you are children.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I kinda love that about my childhood. It's one thing I will never like... I loved being able to learn from just being able to be in the room with older people at the time.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. I think it's a huge one. It's probably the hardest thing right now, where people are spending less and less time with people older.
- DGDavid Grutman
'Cause my daughters are 18 months apart, so they're, they have each other.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And they're always around each other. But I was the guy that was, the kid that was in the room with, like, all the adults and hearing the adults' stories and stuff like that, and it still fascinates me today.
- JSJay Shetty
What are the lessons
- 30:56 – 31:53
Becoming the Parent You Needed
- JSJay Shetty
that you learned from your parents that you're trying to pass on to your kids? And what are the lessons you're trying to avoid?
- DGDavid Grutman
So I never n- uh, because I was the... I probably blame my mom and my, my father pa- but I, I, I'm not as connected with my family as I, as I want my kids to be connected with me.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I, like, make sure I have that connection with them. And I want them to grow up in a loving, loving family. Not that my mom didn't love me, I just never felt super connected because I saw her late, and I didn't understand why these other kids were able to have these families and all that, and I probably blamed somebody for it.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. And that, when did you feel like you stopped blaming or you stopped connecting to that?
- DGDavid Grutman
I don't know if I, uh, if I ever... I just feel like I never want my girls to grow up like that. I want them to always feel love and, and a presence around them all the time.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Now, and again, my mom loves me, but I didn't get to see her much, but I want my girls to always see me. We take them with us everywhere.
- 31:53 – 33:32
Balancing Ambition and Family Life
- JSJay Shetty
How do you manage that with the crazy lifestyle you have and-
- DGDavid Grutman
We manage it. We make it a priority, and, like, that's part of our life. Like, that's kind of the deal. If you have us, our kids are coming too.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
I mean, there's things for everything, but, you know, taking my kids to Saudi Arabia, taking my kids to Israel, taking my kids to Japan, it's like, it's the coolest thing in the world, and seeing them, how excited they get.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. How do you f- how have you pivoted? 'Cause I feel like you're also brilliant at knowing when to start something new.
- DGDavid Grutman
So, like, last few years, I knew investing in brands and working with young, young entrepreneurs, young founders that I could make a big difference in, has been really the, the next stage of my life.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I, and I, and I love it. And how can I take those brands and put them into my ecosystem and grow them then?
- JSJay Shetty
Give me an example, El.
- DGDavid Grutman
SkinnyDipped, uh, the, the-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... it's probably the best better for you till cover nuts out there.
- JSJay Shetty
My wife loves them.
- DGDavid Grutman
They're the greatest, SkinnyDipped.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
So I have a SkinnyDipped dessert at some of my restaurants. Uh, dairy and plant-based chicken I would have, you know, at my places. I do collaboration dishes with Fly By Jing or all these different things, and I think that's one way of adding value. I've done noodles, mac n ch- help, you know, better for you mac and cheese balls, and all sorts of stuff, and brunches all cater to these brands, or events just cater to these brands to grow them. And then I talk about them a lot. And I ha- and we rebrand, and we do collaborations, and other brands I invest in, like Symbiotic and Coconut Cult, I have them do collabora- all different stuff. But by being this great connector for these brands and young founders, it's been the most rewarding thing I've ever done.
- 33:32 – 35:54
Evolving Into Your Next Chapter
- JSJay Shetty
That seems to be like, with all these stories you're telling me, there's a pattern in who you are, which is, like, this super connector.
- DGDavid Grutman
Correct.
- JSJay Shetty
Right?
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
It feels like that's your superpower.
- DGDavid Grutman
I love that I'm able to get anyone that I really need to get on the phone, on the phone, and n- and put them with somebody else, and they know that there's no... I just wanna help.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And that's why people take the call and do, and do what- whatever they want, and they do great things together, and I'm not the guy where, "Oh, can I get 10%?" Like, I hate those people. But it pays off 10 times over. So, like, don't be so hungry for that one... If your friends do a great deal, be so ha- cheer your friends on.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
I'm like everyone's biggest cheerleader.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. It's fascinating, isn't it? Like, we've, we-
- DGDavid Grutman
[clears throat]
- JSJay Shetty
... so many people are living in that scarcity mindset of being scared that if I connect you to you, and then you guys do business together, then me-
- DGDavid Grutman
I'm gonna get cut out.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
- DGDavid Grutman
Okay. You know what? Maybe you do get cut out. But that's okay because your friends are growing, and y- you're gonna keep going. Like, that's okay.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
If that's how you live your life and be a gatekeeper and say, "You know what? I, I, I'm gonna text that person, and then I, I wanna be the person that, like, don't do it without me. Make sure I'm CC'd or I'm part of..." Who can live like that, man?
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
Like, I'm so happy to... And if they want me to come in the deal, I'll come in the deal. If they don't, no problem. But there'll be a deal later on that I might need that person for, and they're gonna remember that I connected them back then.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a huge lesson as well.
- DGDavid Grutman
The coupon system is the best system.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Would you explain that?
- DGDavid Grutman
Listen, when you do... When somebody does something special for me, I'm like, "You have a coupon, and anytime you ask something of me, I'm gonna, of course, be there." It's an untold situation that I really live my life by.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
I have a lot of coupons out there, and a lot of people have done so much for me that I owe people so much that they could ask me to do anything, and I'm doing it. And I think that's the way you live your life.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I love that. And it's, and it's like, it's almost like a constant state of gratitude and a constant state of giving.
- DGDavid Grutman
That's at the end of the key is the gratitude, right? When you, when you give someone, let's say, a coupon, that's just a way of gratitude, let's say.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
Gratitude really changes everything, the way you look at things, the way you feel, the way you, you, you come across.
- 35:54 – 37:55
The Power of Being a Connector
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. But no, it's, it's, my point is that you can either look at it as like, "Oh, look what I've done. Look what's happe-" And it's like, "No, but look, look what people have done for me," right? Like, "Look what, look what people have done for us."
- DGDavid Grutman
I know. People love to say, like, I'm a great connector, but people have done so much for me my whole life, and they continue to do so much for me. Like, look at Kim did the foreword. She didn't have to do that.
- JSJay Shetty
I know.
- DGDavid Grutman
Johnny did the cover again. The fact that people still do great things for me, it's, it's, it's great.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And it, I, I'm so grateful and appreciative.
- JSJay Shetty
I feel like you're at a place in your life where you're passing it on, hence the book. Like you're, you're passing on these lessons, you're telling these stories, you're, you're sharing the advice. I remember the, one of the first times I came across you was when you were doing this course at the university in Florida.
- DGDavid Grutman
Right. FIU.
- JSJay Shetty
FIU. And, and I'd see these clips come up and I was like, "Who's this guy like literally taking everyone to a group of students? You're giving these students the best experience." Talk to me a bit about that because I think that feels like what it's led into the book, right? Like-
- DGDavid Grutman
By the way, the book is based on that.
- JSJay Shetty
Right.
- DGDavid Grutman
So five years ago, FIU came to me and they said, "Hey, listen, we're the biggest hospitality school that nobody knows about." And I'm like, "Would you let me teach a course?" And they go, "What do you mean? Come and just tell your story?" I go, "No, no, I wanna teach a course. I want them to get credits for it." They go, "Okay, it's gonna be, you're gonna have to present us an, you know, a syllabus." So I go, "Okay, let's go." And they're like, but I'm like, "We gotta compress it." So five classes once a week for five weeks, three hours a class. And can I tell you what's so easy that you go through your day and you do with- without even thinking about it, to break it down-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
... was such a process. Like how do you break down relationships? How do you break down all the points that they don't teach you in school that you do so easily in your life? It was such a great process for me to go through that just to break it down. And I was so grateful to be able to teach it and below the, and like of course some of the biggest people in the world would come and surprise them each, each week. But to see the look on their faces, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but by far the most rewarding.
- JSJay Shetty
What was your favorite thing to teach
- 37:55 – 39:47
Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindset
- JSJay Shetty
there? What resonated the most with the students?
- DGDavid Grutman
Well, the fact that they know who I am and where I'm at, and I started off bartending at a restaurant in the mall up the street from the school. So if I could go from a bartender at a restaurant in the mall one block from the school, a couple blocks from the school, then think what you could do.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And that for me was always the perfect setting for what I did.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And the fact that they were so special to, that I cared about them so much, knowing how busy I was, that I took the time to spend on making this class great for them. Hopefully they knew how special they were in life.
- JSJay Shetty
I mean, I don't think anyone, you literally, I think you took Hailey, Kendall, Rick Ross, Bad Bunny, and-
- DGDavid Grutman
David Beckham-
- JSJay Shetty
David Beckham
- DGDavid Grutman
... Black Coffee, Ben Gorham, uh, Alex Earl, John Summit. But like-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... Port- I mean, the greatest people ever. Drake on the day he's releasing his album.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
I was like, "Wow, Jay Shetty." But anyway, forget about those people.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
It was, it was just great. And they would, I'd be like, "Okay guys, we're gonna end class a little early." And then Bad Bunny would walk in and they would like-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... "What the fuck?"
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
But they always had a lesson to teach. It wasn't just, "Hey, there's some celebrities showing up." Talk about your brand, talk about building relationships, talk about, everyone thinks everyone was an overnight success too. That's the most important thing. Everyone thinks these people just did it in one day. I'm like, "No, no, no. Tell them how long you, you were in the trenches for."
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- DGDavid Grutman
'Cause that's where I think people, you know, they go, "I'm gonna graduate school. I'm gonna open my own nightclub. I'm gonna open my own restaurant." I'm like, "No, no, no. I was a bartender, I was a server, I was a manager." I go, "And that part of the journey was where the magic was."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
That's what I, I loved.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. It's that- that's what also makes the, the climb special is, is all those lessons you gained-
- DGDavid Grutman
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... on the front lines that then helped you build the real thing. One
- 39:47 – 41:56
Check Your Ego at the Door
- JSJay Shetty
of my, one of my favorite lessons in the book, you talk about this, you say, "Check your ego before your ego will check you."
- DGDavid Grutman
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
And I wanted to know how your relationship with ego has changed. Because at the start you were saying, "Hey, there was a bit of ego and like I wanted to do the big thing." Talk to me about when you realized you had to check your ego.
- DGDavid Grutman
Well, the first time I ever had to check my ego was my friend Wayne Boitz at his Reserve Paddle. I had opened Liv and it was on fire, the craziest thing ever. And he said to me, he goes, "Listen man, you're not saving lives. You're not a doctor. You're not doing heart surgery. So why don't you just take..." And it resonated with me so hard. When somebody that you care about knows you, knows you for who you are and says, "You're, you're kinda like, your ego's getting a little bit big. Why don't you bring it down a little bit?" That's when I knew that it wasn't endearing to people for me to be like this super cool club guy. And that's why I've always just stayed who I am 'cause I've had great friends that like when there's times when you start to drink your own Kool-Aid as you know, as you get bigger and bigger and bigger, and that's when you, you're also afraid to ask for help and you think you know it all and that you're untouchable. To tell you, to be honest, I've had more problems with success than I've had with failure. Failure, okay, we move on. You, you forget about it the next day. But as success gets your ego so big, that's where the issues happen.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm. Talk to me about that 'cause I agree.
- DGDavid Grutman
That's where you think you're untouchable and you think, you know, I think you have to stay in control, and I think by keeping your ego down during those times is when you could grow the most.
- JSJay Shetty
How do you do that? How have you, because you are winning, you are on top, you're working with the best. How have you in those moments-
- DGDavid Grutman
Well, I have an amazing wife, Isabelle. Let's start there, right?
- JSJay Shetty
She's awesome. Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
So she's just like too-
- JSJay Shetty
She's amazing
- DGDavid Grutman
... she's like, "Ah." Of course she wants me to win. She wants us to win, and she's fighting just as hard as I am. But also, you know, she keeps me in line too, but also at this point in my life, I know it's just way more powerful to be not so cocky, not so this, not so, just be so grateful.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And that's again where gratitude comes into place too, right?
- JSJay Shetty
Mm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure.
- DGDavid Grutman
'Cause if you're grateful and you're serving others, then your head's not gonna get that big.
- 41:56 – 43:03
Staying Grounded While Winning
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. No, but I think you, you raised a p- good point. A g- uh, a g- in our case is a good wife is like a, is, is a game changer. And like my wife has s- my wife has checked my ego-
- DGDavid Grutman
Wow
- JSJay Shetty
... plenty of times.
- DGDavid Grutman
And she does it. She d- when my wife does it-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... she goes right for the jugular too. My wife does not play games.
- JSJay Shetty
Same. My, my wife-
- DGDavid Grutman
It's like, "Ah," I'm like"I thought you said you loved me."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. My wife is so direct, and she, like, cuts it right there, and she does not c- And it's the best thing ever because I love her and I know she loves me-
- DGDavid Grutman
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... so I can trust it's coming from a good place.
- DGDavid Grutman
You know what's so special is to have someone that you never have to question whether they have your back or not.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And having a w- a, a wife like my wife Isabella, what she's given me, I know that I never have to worry about if she doesn't have my best interest in mind, always. I never have to worry about it. And for me, just the confident level that that's given me has given me the strength to d- to get through anything. It's one thing that I think people kind of miss. Just trying to be out there and don't care about really love and relationships, and it's so important.
- 43:03 – 45:28
The Strength of a True Partnership
- JSJay Shetty
How have you allowed yourself as a man to allow for that? 'Cause I feel like a lot of men can kind of get carried away and just feel like, "Yeah, I'm the shit," and, you know, you just move on, and then, you know.
- DGDavid Grutman
By going through that kind of stuff when I was younger has put me in a better place to be married, that's for sure. And I love that my wife is an entrepreneur and that she's out, and I can see her fighting. And I love that my daughters see their mother get up every day, go to her store, build her brands, invest, do all this. She could have easily gone for lunches and done nothing. Instead, the, Isabella Grutman Jewelry, she's killing it, and I, she doesn't stop. And I think it's such a motivation for my daughters to see that, not just me, but the family do it.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I think it's, uh, it's setting a wonderful example for them and-
- DGDavid Grutman
And me
- JSJay Shetty
... yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
She inspires me.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
This girl is, like, dealing with it all. I'm like, "Wow, okay."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
"Let's go."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. And what, what does it look like when you kind of knew who you were for a long time, right?
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
It sounds like you know who you are.
- DGDavid Grutman
And that's why I'm, I'm okay being a plus one, because I know I'm not really ever a plus one.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
Like, I want her to shine, but I know, like, come on.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Like, I'm so happy that she's doing this, and I'm like, I'm like her guest now at places. That's kind of the coolest thing ever.
- JSJay Shetty
What's, what's something in hospitality that you've seen that blew your mind? Something that you went, "Wow, that was impressive."
- DGDavid Grutman
Thomas Keller, of course, at Surf Club, w- even at just the way his butter comes out for the bread. I'm always so blown away by even these c- the classic guys that really set the tone for what I do today-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... and their mentality on how they do things. Becoming friendly with Thomas Keller has been one of the greatest gifts ever, because he really gets the guest experience from the second you walk in to the second you leave. And what he does is the oysters and pearls he gives you right away, because... And it's something that my friend Jeff at Major Food Group does with Carbone. They bring the garlic bread and all the little fun pickings. Once you get... As soon as they sit down, you get them there, you've won them over, and that won- winning them over moment, the rest doesn't even really matter. As long as you win them over right away-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... it's, it's watching great guys like that really win.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. It's, it's hard as well. Like, you feel like it's not easy.
- DGDavid Grutman
I mean, I'm constantly trying to evolve the menus and see what the, you know, trying to set new trends, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it just doesn't. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
What have, what have you noticed about a good idea?
- 45:28 – 46:42
What Makes a Truly Great Idea?
- JSJay Shetty
Like, how do you... When do you... Do you feel like the only way to know is obviously to test it, or do you kind of feel it in your bones and you go, "Nah"?
- DGDavid Grutman
I feel my bones. And listen, there's things where I think, "Okay, this is the greatest idea ever," but then the data just shows otherwise.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
Like, I had a Grutman pastrami egg roll at Komodo, and I'm like, "This is the greatest egg roll of all time. It's a Grutman pastrami egg roll." My team comes to me and they go, "We, we need to go over something with you." And I go, "What's that?" They go, "The Grutman pastrami egg roll is the second least selling item on our menu." I go, "Second least?" I go, "There's a conspiracy. Are you sure?"
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
They go, "Yeah, it's heavy. The servers don't like to sell it." I go, "But it's my namesake. How could they not want to sell it?" The, the, the guests f- I go, "Well, what's the number one selling item?" They go, "The lobster dynamite." I go, "You mean the Grutman lobster dynamite?"
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
"So let's just change it right there." Uh, but, you know, I think it's the greatest idea. It doesn't work. And now learning with chefs that I know that I don't know it all as food. I let the chefs put items on the menu, and we let it, we let the data speak.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
If it sells, it sells.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
If it doesn't... But that's taken great chefs to come and push me into that kind of role.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
And to let other p- And it's been a great way for chefs to feel that they have ownership in your place.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah,
- 46:42 – 48:39
What Makes Someone Worth Betting On?
- JSJay Shetty
for sure. How do you, how do you decide who to bet on as people now that you're working with people and brands, and you bring in chefs, you bring in... You work with so many people across the board. What do you look for?
- DGDavid Grutman
I look for artists. I know I'm not the most creative guy in the room, but I love having creative people around me. It's what feeds my energy. Like, to be able to help enable an artist to do something special, and I'm part of that, it's a great reward for me.
- JSJay Shetty
And, and what do you look for in them in their creativity that-
- DGDavid Grutman
Come on, Jay. We know when somebody's special-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
... and somebody's not. Let's-
- JSJay Shetty
I wanna know your formula, 'cause I'm like, yeah, you-
- DGDavid Grutman
It's if they move me, if they make me emotional, if, if I feel connected to what their thing is. Uh, and let me tell you, I, I'm one of those guys, the last conversation I had with somebody, it's kind of like I'm, like, blown away by people. So if you can move me and I see something special in you, and I'm your friend, I'm gonna push you so hard.
- JSJay Shetty
Sure.
- DGDavid Grutman
But if you're bad to me, you know. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Wow, what happens then? [laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
No, no. I'm like the best friend, but the worst enemy.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah?
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Wow.
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Didn't know you had that side to you.
- DGDavid Grutman
Oh, yeah, there's that side.
- JSJay Shetty
Okay. [laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
What does that look like?
- DGDavid Grutman
No, I'm joking.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
No, it's fine.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
We want every, we want everybody... I'm, you know, it's like a monk.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, in that side, yeah, that... I mean, yeah, the monks are equal to all, for sure.
- DGDavid Grutman
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
But yeah, you, you, you act how you wanna act according to your values, no matter how anyone acts-
- DGDavid Grutman
Correct. Exactly
- 48:39 – 50:32
Learning to Slow Down and Reflect
- JSJay Shetty
you the most le- recently, creatively, artistically? Someone that has had that impact on you where you've bet on them?
- DGDavid Grutman
So there's a guy named Ben Gorham, and he's the founder of BYREDO, uh-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm. Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... which is, you know-
- JSJay Shetty
Oh, yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... a fragrance company.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
He was homeless when he, he started the, the brand, and he sold for a big number a couple years ago. He moved from Sweden to Miami, and he's just so thoughtful on what he's doing for people. He's helped many people with fragrance and stuff like that now just as their friend, and he's really taught me to take that moment to really figure out what's the story, what's the meaning behind things, instead of just going, going, going, going. Be really thoughtful with what you're doing.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
And I think that's been really impressive. Also, um, yeah, just my, my girls have kind of impressed me a lot too on how they see the world and how they, they're evolving. It makes me, like, inspired again to see the world differently.
- JSJay Shetty
What do they see that you don't see?
- DGDavid Grutman
They see so much good and so much... They're like, like, they get so excited about just the dolphin or the bird or their rabbit or, you know. And the fact that they're just, they're so content just being with that, and I just wanna learn that kind of practice again, just being so happy and content. And my wife, by far, has just been blowing me away. She's very special.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm. What's the biggest impact she's had on you?
- DGDavid Grutman
For her to realize why I get so ups- 'cause, you know, when she launches her brand, the website goes down, this happens at work, this, um, you know. And to see how she's handling those same frustrations. But she found her way. Like, she never thought she was gonna be a jewelry designer. She started off making her clothes, and then she met some great jewelry designers, and she started her own brand, and she found what her passion was, and it wasn't what she, what she thought she was gonna do. And I love when it just hits you, and then you take it. A lot of people, it hits them, but they don't take
- 50:32 – 54:53
Finding Joy in the Present Moment
- DGDavid Grutman
advantage of it.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
She took it, she took it and ran with it.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I love what you're saying about the presence with your, seeing the presence of your girls, like that being something you wanna get. Is that something you feel like you're getting to at this point in your life?
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah. Listen, I feel like my childhood was a little bit different than everyone else's. I didn't think I was able to be a kid because I was around the done that. And just to see, like, the feeling they get with the simplest thing. It doesn't have to be the most expensive or elaborate thing, just they like out... And just by being, spending time with me, to them is just so precious.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm.
- DGDavid Grutman
I'm like, they make me feel like the biggest man in the world.
- JSJay Shetty
Hmm. That's beautiful, man.
- DGDavid Grutman
Thank you.
- JSJay Shetty
Thank you for sharing that. Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
Of course.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. At this point in your career when you could be doing anything, you're going into production and TV.
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And I know you're, because I know you're also working with Fulwell too-
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... who I'm working with. I'm good friends with Ben Winston, so.
- DGDavid Grutman
Ben Winston-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... is the great... By the way, how much do we love Ben Winston?
- JSJay Shetty
Let's, let's, let's do that. Ben, we love you.
- DGDavid Grutman
Ben-
- JSJay Shetty
He's gonna, he's gonna love this love
- DGDavid Grutman
... I love, I know you love the shout-out, so I'm giving you-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
... the big shout-out, Ben Winston. I had to convince this guy for years. I'm like, "Alex Earl." I'm telling you, Ben-
- JSJay Shetty
How did you have to convince him about Alex Earl? Can we just-
- DGDavid Grutman
He had no idea who he was. He, he at first, and then he started doing-
- JSJay Shetty
Ben
- DGDavid Grutman
... Ben-
- JSJay Shetty
We need to talk
- 54:53 – 1:02:07
David in Final Five
- DGDavid Grutman
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Good answer. Good answer. Second question, what is the worst advice you ever heard or received?
- DGDavid Grutman
You should definitely take that space.
- JSJay Shetty
Oh. [laughs]
- DGDavid Grutman
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
Someone promoting the wrong space.
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. That's funny. That's funny. Ca- do you have an example of that, of-
- DGDavid Grutman
Yeah. I, I-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, go on. Talk to me
- DGDavid Grutman
... I, I opened a diner in a old Firestone gas station. I failed so badly after three months I had to close it after three months.
- JSJay Shetty
God. How ma- how many things have you had to close down?
- DGDavid Grutman
Two restaurants and a nightclub, but the nightclub, the city closed me down, meaning there was high-end r- buildings that came around the nightclub.
- JSJay Shetty
Right.
- DGDavid Grutman
But, uh, it's definitely not gonna be my last restaurant I close. I'm gonna have to close others at some point in my life, and I'm gonna have to open new ones as well.
- JSJay Shetty
When, when something closes down or fails, how do you go back out there and raise more money and raise energy? Like, how does that work?
- DGDavid Grutman
Because thank God you have the emotional bank account. You've done some successful things and, you know, not everything's gonna work, Jay, and I think people kinda, you know what I mean-
- JSJay Shetty
So people don't write you off. You don't feel like the world writes you off when you fail?
- DGDavid Grutman
No, but you try to make good on it, too, like, later on in life as well. But, uh, no, people wanna still come to my experiences.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. No, 'cause I feel people are scared about that, not just you, but I feel like a lot of people are scared of having a f- a big failure.
- DGDavid Grutman
By the way-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- DGDavid Grutman
... it's the scariest thing in the world.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- DGDavid Grutman
But guess what you realize? It's scarier to you than the rest of the people out there. The single e-
- JSJay Shetty
No one's thinking about it.
- DGDavid Grutman
I s- okay. They think about it for a day or two. That's fair, and then you open another hit, and guess what? They don't even remember what that's.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. I always say that to people. If you think of your favorite actor or actress in movies-
- DGDavid Grutman
Ugh
- JSJay Shetty
... they've all made bad movies, and you've forgotten about them 'cause they made the iconic ones that you remember.
Episode duration: 1:02:07
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