ALEX WARREN EXCLUSIVE: The Untold Story of Losing His Parents, Addiction & Survival

Jay Shetty 0:00 [instrumental music] First of all, I just want to say congratulations. I just saw you were the number one song on Variety's Hitmakers, 25 songs.

Alex Warren 0:36 Oh my God.

Jay Shetty 0:37 You beat Sabrina Carpenter. Kendrick's got like three on there or whatever it is. I'm like, how does that feel? That is incredible. That is huge.

Alex Warren 0:44 Well, I didn't know that until just now, which is awesome.

Jay Shetty 0:46 Did you not know? [laughs]

Alex Warren 0:47 I don't look at that stuff. It's, um, it's something for me, I, I feel like I just focus on the music itself, and it's been really amazing to be able to have those accolades. I, I don't know. It doesn't feel real. Like, that's the one thing that kind of like it doesn't hit me yet. I ... Every time I

Alex Warren 1:01 play a show, I, and I sing that song, I take an ear out and hope people are singing. And I get off stage, I go, "Were people singing the song?" Like, and everyone's like, "Okay, Alex, yeah, shut up. Yes, they were."

Jay Shetty 1:09 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:09 Like, this isn't cute anymore. I'm like, "I'm genuinely serious."

Jay Shetty 1:13 Wow.

Alex Warren 1:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:14 That's beautiful. And of course-

Alex Warren 1:15 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:15 ... I saw you, m- you know, did a little share the other day, but Spotify Wrapped.

Alex Warren 1:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:20 Top 10 albums of the, uh-

Alex Warren 1:22 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:22 ... number four song in the world.

Alex Warren 1:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:24 On the globe. I mean, that again-

Alex Warren 1:26 It's crazy

Jay Shetty 1:27 ... it's just, how does that feel? Like, how does that truly feel? So there's a part of you that goes, "I don't look at it," and of course you're like checking to see where the ... But how does that feel?

Alex Warren 1:34 Dude, it's ... I see it and it's true. It's, it's like a, there's a warm feeling inside 'cause I've always wanted that, you know? And I think everyone would be lying if they said they didn't love it. I think that's the, the part about it. I wrote it with my friends about meeting my wife, and that's even more special. That's the song about my wife. It's not some fluff. It's not some, um, pitch song. It's just a record that, you know, we actually believe in.

Jay Shetty 1:58 Yeah, that's so special. And that, it's incredible to think that you've got the people around you that you're writing about.

Alex Warren 2:05 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 2:05 Because I feel like often artists will write a song about someone, but then it's a breakup or someone that they're not connected to anymore.

Alex Warren 2:11 Right.

Jay Shetty 2:11 I imagine it's a really rare feeling to actually say, "I'm writing a song about the person I love and they're in my life."

Alex Warren 2:17 Yeah. It's, uh, that's something I never really think about is when people write like a breakup song and it becomes like a hit.

Jay Shetty 2:22 Yeah.

Alex Warren 2:22 Like, like what that relationship is. But yeah, it's just something where I feel like it didn't happen to me, it happened to us, and it's been really cool to be able to have that moment together.

Jay Shetty 2:32 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I was gonna ask you, you've ... I feel like you've spoken about your journey many times before.

Alex Warren 2:38 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 2:38 But I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory that you have that you feel defines who you are today, that has played such a pivotal role in molding who you are?

Alex Warren 2:51 I have never been asked that question. Um, wow. Uh, I would say probably a lot of the memories I have with my dad. Uh, my dad knew he was dying and so he ... It- it's so fun when I do these interviews and stuff 'cause I get to actually like talk about him and talk about that life that I, I kind of forgot about. But a lot of

Alex Warren 3:10 the pivotal thing was watching my dad go through chemo and slowly start to break down, and he still every day woke up at 5:00 AM to be able to hang out with me before he went to work to provide for what was left once he passed. And, um, I just remember, you know, a lot of times in my life, and especially now, I kind of think, oh, like, you know, I can't do this. I can't do that. Or, um, I just get nervous and then I think about the things that my dad went through for us and, um, I can do anything at that moment. So I feel like he bought me my first guitar, and being able to play music and be able to sing and watching his face when I didn't know what I was playing and it sounded God awful, but knowing that he got to cherish that memory was probably a big one for me.

Jay Shetty 3:51 Wow. How old were you when he was going through chemo?

Alex Warren 3:54 Um, he got ca- he had cancer four times before, um, or I mean, entirety of when I was born. Um, but he beat it three times, and the fourth time got him. Um, and he died when I was nine. So probably like, I probably remembered it from five to nine.

Jay Shetty 4:10 How did he have that conversation with you at that time? Were you aware at that time, at that age what was even happening? I can't imagine-

Alex Warren 4:16 No

Jay Shetty 4:16 ... at that age.

Alex Warren 4:16 I mean, the night before he died, I remember he was so ... They, they were just making him comfortable, and so he was at our house in a, a hospital bed in the downstairs bedroom. And, um, I remember the night before, the last conversation I ever had with him is, he was puffed up on drugs and I, I was messing with him and, you know, I was like, "Dad, will you buy me a Ferrari?" And he's like, and he was saying yes to everything, you know? And, um, it's weird to think about it back then and kind of be like, that was my goodbye, was I was kind of fucking with him a little bit. And yeah, I ... All I know is like, you know, he, he died joking around with us, saying yes to everything. You know? He didn't even bother to, you know, say no or mess with us back. But, um, he left us all notes. And when he died, the morning he, he died, my mom came into my room at like 5:00 in the morning. I remember the time was actually 5:05 exact. Um, and she said, "It's time to say goodbye to your dad." He had left us these letters, and we got to read those letters. And, um, yeah, I can say that's a pretty surreal moment to kind of like think about, but I never knew.

Jay Shetty 5:22 Wow.

Alex Warren 5:22 Yeah, I didn't even realize until I was like 13 or 14 that he wasn't a part of my life. I think it was just a, a weird, messed up joke. I think I would make things up. I'd be like, "Oh, he works for the FBI," or like, he, he like faked his death, and I ... Yeah. It's pretty weird when I came to terms with the fact that he was gone.

Jay Shetty 5:39 Mm. So it was quite hard to actually come to terms with it. It took a few years to even process the reality of the situation.

Alex Warren 5:46 Like, I don't think my brain could. At, at nine years old, and I think back, I really never think about this, so this is like the first time in a long time I'm actually thinking about it. It's like I remember when he died, I was doing the stereotypical wake up, wake up. Like, he was dead in front of me. And, um-I think it was just a whole moment of me trying to like, to like stop joking around. I was nine, but I, I understood he was dead, but I under- I didn't understand what that meant.

Jay Shetty 6:10 Of course.

Alex Warren 6:11 And so for a good, good 20 minutes I had to... I was slapping him, I was shaking him, uh, begging him to wake up, and then they wheeled him out of my driveway. And the neighbors all looked around, and I think that day I, I, um, was like, I remember it so vividly but so blurry at the same time. But yeah, I, I knew he was dead. I didn't know what that meant-

Jay Shetty 6:34 Mm

Alex Warren 6:34 ... until I was 13 or 14.

Jay Shetty 6:37 Mm. Tell me about, you said he would wake up 5:00 AM to play with you or-

Alex Warren 6:41 Yeah

Jay Shetty 6:41 ... or be with you before he went to work. Talk to me about what you do remember, because it's, it's remarkable that you can hold onto memories from them, but obviously they seem so precious. Are a lot of those memories based on things you remember or pictures and video and-

Alex Warren 6:53 It's what I remember. Every day, uh, he woke up, and I had three other, I have three other siblings. And so he would take me and my brother skateboarding, and we would go to the skate park and get donuts early in the morning, or we'd go to church, or, um, I know with my sisters, or even all of us, like he'd wake up early and take us to like Legoland, you know?

Jay Shetty 7:13 [laughs]

Alex Warren 7:13 And like he would just find... Every day was a different day. Every day was a different thing. You know, there was no routine besides the fact that every morning we woke up and we had no idea what we were doing. And it was kind of like a bucket list in some ways. Like he wanted to surf and learn how- So we went surfing, and like, yeah. So like every day I think he just wanted to... His goal in life was always to be a father and to have kids, and I think he just sped-run it as fast as he could knowing he was dying. And I can't imagine that, as hiding that from your children and trying to leave a future for them as you leave.

Jay Shetty 7:48 Mm. What a special man.

Alex Warren 7:50 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:50 Truly sounds like a-

Alex Warren 7:52 Someone I strive to be every day.

Jay Shetty 7:54 Yeah. Absolutely. Very worthy of that. And when you came to that, what was the moment at 13, 14 where you came to that reflection? Like, what, what kind of made that-

Alex Warren 8:05 I always knew my life was different. I didn't understand it. Um, I watched my little sister go to a daddy-daughter dance without her dad, and I remember seeing her crying and I started to think what was different about my life. And I started to think about... 'Cause at that point it was like, oh, like, you know, at nine years old losing your dad and then you're 14, it's all you know. Like the, the, the formative years of your life are now starting and so you're just being like, "Oh, I don't have

Alex Warren 8:30 a dad. That's a normal thing." And I started to think about w-what was, what I was missing, what I didn't have, and I think that was the biggest thing. My mom was a alcoholic who wasn't present. And so I realized I was raising myself and having to, you know, all of us, all of me and my siblings were raising each other, and that was something for us that we really, um, we didn't realize wasn't normal for a very long time.

Jay Shetty 8:54 Mm.

Alex Warren 8:54 And we struggle with today.

Jay Shetty 8:55 Yeah.

Alex Warren 8:55 I think we struggle with having a normal sibling relationship because we were so busy trying to parent each other.

Jay Shetty 9:00 Mm. Talk to me about that parenting each other. Like, what was it like parenting yourself and then parenting when you're 14 years old?

Alex Warren 9:09 It's interesting. I think I, uh, it was more of like, you know, me and my brother were obviously this protective brother o-over our little sister. And then I think my older sister felt the need, she was about four years older than us, so she felt really the need to do so. Um, yeah, I think the dynamic is just different. There, you don't have an older brother, you have someone that you, for me at least, is someone I, I help through with daily life and vice versa, and there's different things that I'm skilled at that he isn't, and I think we adapted really,

Alex Warren 9:34 really well to being able to, um, to being able to parent each other. But then that normal relationship of just catching up and sibling... It's weird now doing it as we had a, a moment of... When my mom died, we kind of all went our separate ways. We kind of just realized what the [censored] is wrong with our lives, and we all stopped talking.

Jay Shetty 9:54 Oh, wow.

Alex Warren 9:54 We all stopped talking. We all went apart and I started doing this and, um, we rekindled not too long ago. Most of us live in the same state now, and we grab lunch every week and we, we try our best to kind of, you know, hash that out, and it's been nice. Honestly, I'm really close with all of them now, which is really cool.

Jay Shetty 10:11 Who was the first person to reach out?

Alex Warren 10:13 Uh, probably Lauren, my older sister.

Jay Shetty 10:15 She reached out to you?

Alex Warren 10:16 Yeah. She, well she's, she's super, super keen on creating an environment of family, and that was something I was missing for a while. And so she, she was kind of the glue that was like, you know what? Let's us all come together, and it's been cool. She got us all to move to Nashville.

Jay Shetty 10:31 Was it easy to bring everyone back in or did it take a moment? Like talk to me about that reconnection.

Alex Warren 10:35 Everyone wanted to.

Jay Shetty 10:36 Yeah.

Alex Warren 10:36 Everyone, everyone wants to be a family. I think it's just h- uh, being apart for four years at, at our 20s, I mean,

Alex Warren 10:45 you have to think like I was 19 when I, when we all kind of like went away.

Jay Shetty 10:48 Yeah.

Alex Warren 10:49 And so, you know, a lot has changed since I was 19, you know? Career-wise, me-wise. I mean, I'm, I've, I've grown so much as a human, you know? And, um, I think boundaries and respect and, you know, growing, like just trying to like r- settle back into being siblings has been a fun challenge, I would say. 'Cause it's, it is. It's like, you know, I've, I'm one of those people, I think arguing is a beautiful thing.

Jay Shetty 11:14 [laughs]

Alex Warren 11:15 I think... Well, I do. I think even with my wife, and she finds it so funny-

Jay Shetty 11:18 [laughs]

Alex Warren 11:18 ... the kids will be like fighting, um, about like a rug and I'll be laughing. I'm like, "This is great." Like y- we're talking... Like life is about compromise. Life is about figuring out what you can tolerate of me and how much I can tolerate of you and, you know, that's how a relationship works. And, um, it's been really nice to kind of like be able to learn things about people through an argument, how they feel, what, what is the compromise there, and that's what I really like.

Jay Shetty 11:43 Yeah. Do you-

Alex Warren 11:43 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 11:44 ... when you look back now, do you believe that parenting yourself allowed you to have some of this maturity at this young age?

Alex Warren 11:52 Yeah.100%. I, I didn't even dr- I, I never got into drinking. I never got into smoking. I-

Jay Shetty 11:58 Because you didn't have the opportunity.

Alex Warren 12:00 Right. And so, like, for me, like, I'm a pretty [chuckles] boring guy. Like, I think that's the one criticism I see online and people are like, "Oh, Alex is just a boring white dude." I'm like, "Yeah, I am."

Jay Shetty 12:09 [laughs]

Alex Warren 12:09 "I am and I love it." Um, but no, I-- it's allowed me to grow up really quickly, which is beautiful and sad.

Alex Warren 12:17 Um, but I... It's funny, I find, I find things that I, I love that are childish. You know, I, I love skateboarding and because of my dad, I love surfing. I dirt bike. I do all these things, and so, like, I'm a giant teenager now kind of living out that childhood I never had.

Jay Shetty 12:32 Mm. I get, I can, uh, in my own way, as I'm reflecting on what you're saying, so I felt like I parented myself.

Alex Warren 12:40 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 12:41 My, my dad was more-- He was around, but he was aloof and in his own world.

Alex Warren 12:47 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 12:47 And so I was definitely my younger sister's, like, father figure. That was the role I took on early on. I really felt like I became man of the house quite early on.

Alex Warren 12:55 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 12:56 And I look back at those moments now and feel very grateful for them as well because, to me, I don't think I would've had the skills that I was able to develop if I didn't have that experience. And I don't-- People are always like, "Do you feel you missed out on your childhood?" I, I don't think I did because I think I still had some of that in, in my way-

Alex Warren 13:14 Yeah

Jay Shetty 13:14 ... and there were, there were moments of that. Do you, do you feel like you missed out when you look back or do you feel differently?

Alex Warren 13:21 I often do, but I think it's the childhood that I wasn't meant to have. You know, I missed out on having a father. You know? And like I missed out on, you know, um... I think when you learn how to ride a bike.

Jay Shetty 13:32 Mm.

Alex Warren 13:33 You look behind you once you figure it out and you fall a couple of times, and you look at your parents and you say, "Look, I did it." And throughout my entire career of even childhood, of becoming a, a, an adult and, um, accomplishing certain things, I looked back and I didn't have those people in my life, and I think that starts to rewire your brain of what an accomplishment is. You know, how do you value success if... To me, success is being able to show my parents I did everything I set out to be.

Jay Shetty 14:03 Mm.

Alex Warren 14:04 And so it, it kind of rewires you into thinking, you know, what is it? What does all this mean? And what does, you know, my childhood look like? And I think everything that I went through has shaped me up to where I am today and whether I like it or not, and I do like it. I like who I am now. But it is something that, you know, I think about a lot is like, you know, I would be a completely different person if my dad was still alive, if my mom was still alive and I didn't go throughout those things, and whether or not I want that is always a question I ask.

Jay Shetty 14:32 Mm. In terms of parallel lives?

Alex Warren 14:35 Yeah. I think like, you know, I could have had a childhood. I could have had all these different things, but I would not be who I am and th- what I know, and I w- I don't think I'd be a musician. I don't think that I would be here. I don't think I would've met my wife. You know? There's so many different things I, that I went through in my life that I love that because I didn't have a childhood.

Jay Shetty 14:54 Mm. How do you define success now?

Alex Warren 14:58 Truly, I was so unhappy with myself for a long time. I think I just never knew... I always wanted to be a musician since I was a kid, since my dad introduced me to it, and I tried for my entire childhood and no one cared. And again, I grew up in an abusive household and, you know, when you find something that you like, you get torn down for it. So I just never thought I could do it. You know, my dad introduced us to music and he passed away.

Jay Shetty 15:19 He was the one who gave you a guitar, right?

Alex Warren 15:20 He passed away and so I stopped. I stopped trying. It just m- He played music all the time. I grew up with Rascal Flatts and Train and, um,

Alex Warren 15:28 Coldplay, and he passed away and the music stopped, and figuratively and, you know, actual. And so when I started understanding what was happening in my life, I started playing music and I got torn down for it every day. You know? I would do talent shows and my mom wouldn't show up, and she would say I sucked and all these different things and, you know, hearing that every day growing up, you start to think, "Do I suck?" You know? Um, and then I turned 18 and I was still trying. I would post covers on Vine and TikTok and it was Musical.ly at the time. And, um, I got kicked out of my house and I would go... And when I would shower at a 24 Hour Fitness or whatever bathroom I could find at a resort or whatnot, um, I would sing in the bathroom and the acoustics were great and I would post those on the internet and those wouldn't do well. And yeah, I was-- Every single second I could, I think I got shot down and then I met my wife and I posted a video with her in my car and it did amazing the first rip around and I was like, "Oh, cool, like this is gonna get us out of this situation." We kept going and found myself back to music and here we are.

Jay Shetty 16:39 What did your day-to-day look like with your mom and her addiction?

Alex Warren 16:43 I was the only person who... I, I don't know if I'm the only person who knew. I was the only person who called it out. Um-

Jay Shetty 16:50 At the time?

Alex Warren 16:50 Yeah. So my dad, when he was dying, he knew and he was terrified, so he obviously did certain things that he wanted to make sure that we were okay. But, um, yeah, I would-- My daily thing is my mom would start-- My mom would sleep during the day and stay up all night. And so she'd be drunk at 5:00 AM, driving us to school at 6:00 or 7:00, and, um, she would sleep when she got back home. She never had a job since sh- my dad passed away. So whatever we lived on was, was what she, what... He left us and he died during the recession, so it was definitely a scarce, interesting time. You know, we, we still grew up fine. You know, my dad did well and so when he passed away there was whatever. But, uh, daily it was I'd wake up and I'd find what alcohol she was hiding and I'd throw it away. I can't tell if I was petty for that or if I just truly wanted to see her stop, you know? But every addict needs a surrogate. They need someone to blame that isn't themselves, or at least that's what I think growing up with it and I was that person.I was the only person who could call out her problem. I was the person who when she was driving drunk would make her pull over or I would threaten to call the police. Um, yeah, I was the person who made it difficult for her to have the addiction because I didn't want to see it anymore. I, I thought that, you know, you're supposed to be a parent, you know, and her and I clashed a lot, you know. Um, so yeah, my daily life was waking up, calling her an alcoholic for sure, um, threatening to call the police and, um, yeah, it was really, really toxic. I mean, looking back at it, I would call the police on her several times if she was abusive. Um, there was one time she elbowed me in the face so hard that I, I have a deviated septum now from it, and I called the police and she made up a thing saying that I hit her or something. And I remember they threatened to take me to jail, and that was the first time I ever felt like, wow, everything is stacked against me in some way, you know? And so like that was really difficult for me to be like, "Oh, well, I can't call the police anymore." And it was so strange. It was such a strange way to, to grow up reflecting on it. But it's also something, you know, again, it's-- I never drank. I never drink. I never do any of those things because I've never seen the good of it. When people are like, "Oh, we're going out to drink," I've never, I've never understood that. I've never craved it, I've never wanted it. And I'm not against it. I just, I just don't get it anymore-

Jay Shetty 19:21 Mm

Alex Warren 19:22 ... you know, because I grew up with the negative of it, you know?

Jay Shetty 19:24 Yeah. Did, did your desire to remove her addiction reflect badly on you? Like, is that where the moments of tension and abuse-

Alex Warren 19:34 Yeah

Jay Shetty 19:34 ... sparked was that you were the one trying to take it away from her?

Alex Warren 19:37 Yeah. And I think it didn't help that my siblings didn't realize it either. I think my siblings would all be like, "Well, if you didn't talk back, you wouldn't get hit," was the sentiment behind it. And I thought that was such a bizarre sentiment growing up. Um, but yeah, I mean, I was just one of those people. I-- like, I wasn't a troubled kid. I didn't get into bad things, but I wanted to be a singer.

Jay Shetty 19:57 Mm.

Alex Warren 19:57 And my mom

Alex Warren 19:58 hated it. She hated it, you know. I don't know what it was about, whether it was like vlogging or singing or just filming my life. I never wanted to do a normal job. Like in school I would be-- instead of like class, I would go to bathroom and s-sing and film it and post it. And of course, I started-- my grades started slipping a little bit-

Jay Shetty 20:17 [chuckles]

Alex Warren 20:17 ... because that's all I wanted. I knew I wanted to do that. And, um, she thought I was some terrible kid. And so yeah, it was, it was definitely a clash between us and it never stopped. Even after all this, she was still alive when I started doing well.

Jay Shetty 20:31 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 20:31 And yeah, man, I, I remember I w- I had distanced myself fully until I was like, "Look, you know, I, I'm not gonna-- I don't want you in my life until you get help." And, um, I remember the week she died, she had texted me, uh, "I have a problem and I'm going to AA." And then she died the week after, which is crazy.

Jay Shetty 20:58 Did you believe her?

Alex Warren 21:01 Yeah. Which is hard, but I don't know, I don't know what killed her. I don't know if it was just final and she realized she had a problem or if she went to the doctor's one day. But I remember, I remember how up her house was. I never-- I couldn't step foot in it, but my siblings went and it was bad. There was like she was, she was dead way before she was, which is crazy. I, I, I think watching two people die in front of you like that is like the-- it's the weirdest thing. It's the weirdest-- You can't explain it. It's the breath, the-- that person be- doesn't become a human anymore, you know? And like the, the-- if you've ever watched it before, it's the sh- it's the, the breathing that doesn't leave. Like the, um... I-- it's so hard to explain. Just someone br- They're, they're not breathing for themselves. They're gasping for air and you want it to stop, and it's the scariest thing.

Jay Shetty 22:07 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 22:07 It's crazy watching that twice at nine and then you spent your whole life forgetting it, and then you turn twenty-one and you just-- it's like a haunting thing that doesn't leave.

Jay Shetty 22:17 Mm.

Alex Warren 22:17 It's crazy.

Jay Shetty 22:18 Was Dad at home as well? She was at home?

Alex Warren 22:20 No.

Jay Shetty 22:21 No.

Alex Warren 22:21 No. I, I-- That one was in a hospital. But when you die from drinking and liver failure, you're yellow all over, you know, 'cause I think it's called jaundice or something. You're-- It's, it's morbid. It's like the-- I think watching my dad die, he turned white, you know, 'cause his kidney failed. Um, watching someone s- die slowly like that is probab-

Alex Warren 22:50 like something that you can never forget. It's crazy. Terrifying.

Jay Shetty 22:55 Were you by her bedside when it happened as well?

Alex Warren 22:56 Yeah. I remember the one thing too is, you know, when you walk outside, uh, we all just had a moment o- once she had passed. We went outside and we all just started crying and, you know, you look around and someone's on their lunch break and someone's pulling up in a fancy car to Jersey Mike's, and everyone's laughing and people are walking by leaving the, the, the hospital and it, it's, it's, uh, it's weird to think that my world stops spinning, but you're just-- you have no idea. You have no idea what the heck just happened in there. You have no idea what we just went through. And it's, it is so interesting. It is. It w-- I remember that, that stuck with me so bad. I'm like, "Why are, why isn't everyone-- Why hasn't the world stopped?" You know? Because mine just did.

Jay Shetty 23:36 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 23:37 It's crazy.

Jay Shetty 23:38 Yeah. With your father, obviously, your memory was this almost playfulness-

Alex Warren 23:42 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 23:42 ... or joking around, him saying, "Yes, I'll get you a Ferrari."

Alex Warren 23:45 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 23:46 What was that internal and external dialogue with your mother?

Alex Warren 23:52 They told us she could hear us. I don't know if that was true or if that's just something you tell people to hope that they-

Jay Shetty 23:58 Mm

Alex Warren 23:58 ... they, uh, they have closure.

Jay Shetty 24:01 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 24:01 Um-A lot of apo- uh, forgiveness

Jay Shetty 24:06 That's what you were saying at the-

Alex Warren 24:07 Yeah. A lot of forgiveness.

Alex Warren 24:10 A lot of apologies, too.

Jay Shetty 24:12 What did you say?

Alex Warren 24:14 I think for me, you know, I, I think in everything, especially in a place where there's clashing, it takes two people regardless, you know? She could've been a better parent. She could've realized she had a problem and whatnot. My mom watched her husband die and then had to raise four kids by herself. How the am I supposed to judge someone like that? How am I supposed to say, "You did that wrong"? You know? And that's the one part for me is, like, I judged her so hard. I thought, "You're supposed to be this perfect person. You're supposed to be this parent," and it's, it's crazy how selfish I could've been to assume that. I don't know what you went through. I don't know what it's like. It's your first time living, you know? How... There's no perfect book on how to raise four kids, watch your, your husband die to cancer, and be... all the sudden have everything that you thought in life ripped away from you in a second and just have to put a smile on it and not have a cope. So yeah, I think that was my biggest thing is, you know, I s- I spent my whole life judging this person, not putting myself in their shoes and understanding what they had to go through to be okay. She had to have drinks to be okay. She had to kill herself to be okay with life. That's hard, you know? So I think that was, like, the one thing for me that, like, you know, I had to wrap around and have closure with, and there wasn't... You know, it's closure in some sense, but you... I, I don't know. I never got to... I never had a, got to have that conversation. I was, uh... What's that word when you, when you aren't talking to someone? It's like a... They call it something in a family when you, when you aren't communicating with them.

Jay Shetty 26:12 Strange?

Alex Warren 26:13 Yeah, kind of. I, I, I didn't talk to my mom for a long time. Yeah. It's hard.

Jay Shetty 26:22 Have you given yourself that grace?

Alex Warren 26:24 I don't think so. I don't think so. I haven't thought about it until now, which is funny [laughs] in such a public setting. [laughs] But yeah, I, I, I don't... When you go through the things that I go through, I... Or at least, I can't speak for everyone. I, I have spent a lot of time not forgetting, but putting it on a burner, letting it sit there when I, when it's time to approach those feelings. And then when I do these things, I fully believe in being honest, and, and I, I like to take adva- I told you th- before we started recording that these are my favorite parts of this job, and I think it's true because this is the time where I get to be human. I think in my career, a lot of people look at what we do, and it's the same thing. I think they just, you know, they don't see the human behind the piece or the art or whatever. They see the headline, or they see whatever they wanna see, you know, whether I pass their favorite artist on a chart or if I got picked to do something opposed to their favorite artist, it almost... I become a villain in their life without them actually understanding who I am behind it. So when it's time to do these things, I think it's great because I think you start to realize how messed up a lot of us are. Not even messed up. I wouldn't even say messed up. I think just the things that, that... You, you tend to s-separate the human from the art.

Jay Shetty 27:46 Mm.

Alex Warren 27:47 And I think that's the hardest thing for me too is, you know, everything I make and the music I write about is fully true to me. I don't... I'm not taking pitch records. I'm writing about my, watching [laughs] my parents die, which is so hard to then turn around and swipe on a TikTok and be like, "Alex Warren sucks." [laughs] I'm like, "Fuck," you know?

Jay Shetty 28:05 [laughs]

Alex Warren 28:05 And so it's just, separating, separating that is so difficult for me, too. I just have to scroll now. Whether it's good or bad, I don't look at it, and it's hard. It's really hard because these mean, these songs mean so much to me. These songs helped me through all those things I'm talking about, and, like, it's so strange to be able to be like, "Oh, wow, no-" It's so strange not to take that personally, you know?

Jay Shetty 28:24 Mm.

Alex Warren 28:24 So that's, that's definitely been a challenge.

Jay Shetty 28:26 We all want to feel better, to have more energy and more focus throughout the day. That's why I co-founded Juni, a sparkling adaptogenic drink made with powerful ingredients like ashwagandha and lion's mane. It's designed to boost your mood, support your focus, and give you natural energy, all without the crash. Get your daily mood boost with Juni at Whole Foods Market, or head to drinkjuni.com to find a store near you. As I was listening to you, I was just thinking I love that you have the capacity for grace for your mom.

Alex Warren 28:59 Mm.

Jay Shetty 29:00 And to sit there and say, "You know, no one knows how to raise four kids, watch their husband die, deal with the challenges that come with life. You know, she's not superhuman." And-

Alex Warren 29:11 Yeah

Jay Shetty 29:12 ... as I was listening to you say that, I was like, "I hope you're able to develop that grace for yourself to be able to say, you know, 'No one knows how to come into the world and have their father pass away when they're nine years old and have a mom who's an addict-

Alex Warren 29:26 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 29:26 ... and have three other siblings,'" and 'cause I'm looking... And, and I think both coexisting is what grace really looks like-

Alex Warren 29:34 Yeah

Jay Shetty 29:34 ... because it's beautiful that you've been able to even have the glimpse of that perspective for your mother and to expand that out into yourself. Because I often feel that we do one or the other, so we often feel, "Oh yeah, I give myself grace, but I can't forgive that person," and that doesn't feel fully healed.

Alex Warren 29:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 29:53 Or we do the opposite, where we give that person grace, but we don't for us. And I can, I can resonate with it because my... I always think about my dad because he was-- he had such a complex childhood.

Alex Warren 30:04 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 30:05 And when I look at it-It gives me context and grace for who he became. And if without that context, in the same way as you just beautifully explained. But yeah, my, my dad like saw his mom die when he was four

Alex Warren 30:17 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:18 Um, he grew up in the slums of India. He had four siblings that, you know, were just trying to figure out what to do. Like it, it... And, and when I understand that context, I can have grace and compassion for him. And then at the same time, even though I didn't have those troubles or your troubles, there's compassion I have to have for myself. And so, yeah, I really hope this opens a doorway for that for you because it's beautiful that you have the capacity for that for her.

Alex Warren 30:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 30:43 And had it in that moment. It's really special actually.

Alex Warren 30:45 I've never had that perspective funny enough. Something so simple, some- yet so profound [laughs] , you know?

Jay Shetty 30:53 Yeah. I mean, you have it. You're the one saying it about your mother. Like, you know, it's, it's just-

Alex Warren 30:57 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:58 ... you know, saying the same about your nine-year-old self and 14 and 21. But when, when you were going through that, what was... What do you believe you needed most in your teenage years that you didn't have?

Alex Warren 31:12 Wow. I don't know. I mean, the obvious answer is obviously a parent. Um-

Jay Shetty 31:19 Yeah. Outside of that, yeah

Alex Warren 31:20 ... I think I, I made do with what I had. I don't, I don't necessarily think I could've had anything more, you know? You growing up and being a, a, a teenager, I think I had ambition. I had a dream. I had a goal, and I, every day being a kid, I never thought of like what, what am I gonna do party-wise. I thought, "What am I gonna do so I can achieve those goals?" I've always wanted to do this. So I don't know. I truly, every day I just woke up and I thought, "How do I make this dream and goal of mine possible?" And I've never let, let go of it.

Jay Shetty 31:54 How did you protect that and protect your self-esteem in an environment where you're being told you suck, where someone

Jay Shetty 32:02 who's the only caregiver in your life doesn't love your art or doesn't encourage it, and of course you don't have the resources to ma- How did you protect that?

Alex Warren 32:12 I have no idea. I have no clue. I should have given up so long ago, and that is something that I've questioned to this day of why it happened. I, for the longest time, had this gut feeling since I was a kid, and whether you... For me, I credit that to God. I'm a, a Christian, and, and I have faith in that way. But for so many people, you know, I, I can't imagine. I, every day I woke up and I go, "I'm going to do this." And I had so much confidence for being such an insecure guy, for not believing in myself talent-wise, for not believing in myself where my life was, and I would-- [inhales] I should've given up way before I did, and I never did. I just had this weird gut feeling that this was supposed to happen, and I followed it, and here we are.

Jay Shetty 33:00 Yeah. I, I love that, as in I love hearing that too because one of the most common things I hear a lot from my community is, "Jay, my family doesn't believe in me. I'm in a toxic atmosphere."

Alex Warren 33:10 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 33:10 "There are people around me who are just holding me back, people with negative energy. What do I do about it?"

Alex Warren 33:15 Mm.

Jay Shetty 33:16 And you're sitting here, you know, and we're looking at a snapshot of your life.

Alex Warren 33:21 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 33:23 And yes, we're getting into some detail but, you know, there's so much more to it of course. It's your life. And you're sitting here going, "Well, actually, that's all I had."

Alex Warren 33:32 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 33:32 "So I did all I had." Like that, that was basically not your escape, but that was your... It was your passion. It was your pursuit. It was where all your energy went. It's, it's where all your focus went because what else would you give your focus to? If you gave it to all the other things, you wouldn't have survived.

Alex Warren 33:46 Exactly. I, I never had a plan B. I would go to school and in classes I was posting Musical.lys. Like I, it was, it was literally all I did. Every day I would go into class and I would just go on my phone and do social media or post my singing videos, and it, it... I was failing. I, I didn't graduate high school. Like I... And nor would I ever recommend that to anyone. I do not know what that conviction was and why I thought that that was what I was supposed to do, and it just, it... I didn't fight it. I tuned everything else out. There was nothing else I was interested in. And it, I never had a backup plan. I was like, "I'm gonna be homeless or I'm gonna do this," and I ended up being homeless.

Jay Shetty 34:26 Did God have anything to do with the conviction?

Alex Warren 34:29 I like to think so. I think a lot of times when I watch podcasts and I hear people say that though, it, it, it always throws

Alex Warren 34:35 me through a loop, you know? And, and I think like, you know, a lot of times when I've, you know, gone through this stuff and, and talked about my faith and things, I just feel as if I have been put on this earth to do this, you know? And I feel as if I had to lose my parents to be the person I am today, you know? And the things that I've lost have shaped me into the, the, the man that I am and, you know, I've met everyone and, and I'm happy with myself after all this loss and, and whatnot. And I, for me, I battled a lot because I've always been like, "Oh, well, like if God was real, he wouldn't have done that to me," you know? And I think that when you-- When I look at a snapshot of my life, I look at every single mistake I've ever made, and every single thing that's taken away, and every single thing that has happened to me has led, uh, been a lesson of some sort. I've learned from everything, and I, I understand it's... People probably disagree with that, and I think that's fully fine. I just think for what I've lived through and the things that I've gone through and where I am today, it, it, the only thing to me makes sense is that.

Jay Shetty 35:32 Mm.

Alex Warren 35:32 And that's, that's, that's the beautiful thing about faith. You gotta believe it, you know?

Jay Shetty 35:40 Mm.

Alex Warren 35:40 It's crazy.

Jay Shetty 35:41 Yeah. Do you, do you regret not telling your mom how you felt? Or do you wish you got to tell her that you forgive her and that you understand

Jay Shetty 35:49 and share that compassion? Or do you feel it was shared in spirit and internally and that-

Alex Warren 35:54 No. I think the one thing that I regret is my mo- I, I look at this every time and it just kills me is my mom died alone, you know? She didn't have friends. She didn't have family anymore. Everyone left her. Everyone left 'cause they wanted to focus on themselvesI think that's the hardest thing that I've had to deal with is when I, I thought about that, I was-- I remember I was driving and I, I started thinking about my life and how I'm terrified to be alone. And I started to think about my mom, and I realized that she was alone, and I texted her, and I wanted to check on her. And little did I know she was dying-

Jay Shetty 36:40 Mm.

Alex Warren 36:40 ... alone. And so for me, yeah, I mean, it's so easy to-- It's so easy when people are out of your life, and now that it's happened to me so many times, to be like, "Wow, I wish I did this different." And you're never gonna survive if you think that way.

Jay Shetty 36:55 Yeah.

Alex Warren 36:55 It's never gonna-- I have lost so many people in my life, and every time you-- it's so goddamn easy to be like, "Oh, f- I should've done this more. I should've walked with them every day. I should've cherished those moments in between." But now, when I have friendships and I have relationships, nothing matters.

Jay Shetty 37:13 Mm.

Alex Warren 37:14 Uh, uh, to me, at least, any issue is small 'cause I'm able to, I'm able to put in perspective the things that I've lost and been able to now understand the gravity of what that means-

Jay Shetty 37:27 Mm

Alex Warren 37:27 ... in losing someone. And so I feel like m- as a person, I'm much better of a emotional person with other people because of that as well. So yeah, of course. [chuckles]

Jay Shetty 37:38 Yeah.

Alex Warren 37:38 But I don't know. I can never think about that.

Jay Shetty 37:41 I, I'm genuinely so in awe of your ability to process so much in so little time, and

Jay Shetty 37:48 I don't say that as empty flattery at all. I say it-

Alex Warren 37:51 Yeah

Jay Shetty 37:51 ... with as much gravitas as you can probably say it with because-- And it's so interesting to me because two people can go through the same thing and have completely different reactions.

Alex Warren 38:02 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 38:03 And, and everyone's allowed to process it however they decide to process it, but it feels like the way you've been able to walk these footsteps [sighs] is allowing you to continue to grow and heal, but not crush yourself-

Alex Warren 38:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 38:22 ... under the responsibility that you shouldn't have had to carry as a kid anyway.

Alex Warren 38:25 Mm.

Jay Shetty 38:26 And I think that's what's so interesting is so many of us as young people carry weight that was too heavy, that shouldn't have even ever come across, even as an adult, and you end up carrying that weight continuously. And it feels like-- I'm not saying it was easy or that, that's not my interpretation of it, but what I'm hearing is you've almost been able to put the weight down at the right time when you've needed to-

Alex Warren 38:50 Yeah

Jay Shetty 38:50 ... in order to move forward.

Alex Warren 38:51 Yeah. [inhales] Yeah. I, I don't know. I-

Jay Shetty 38:55 Would you agree with that or?

Alex Warren 38:56 Yeah, I do. I, I just-

Jay Shetty 38:57 Okay

Alex Warren 38:57 ... have this outlook on life that the-- and it sounds so redundant, and I keep saying it, but truly, I think that everything that has happened in my life is a lesson.

Jay Shetty 39:07 Mm. Where did that come from? How did you even get to that place?

Alex Warren 39:11 I don't even know.

Jay Shetty 39:12 You just had to bel- That's-- It, it's, it's a survival instinct. Like, that's what I'm-

Alex Warren 39:17 I started to think about what's the point.

Jay Shetty 39:18 Yeah.

Alex Warren 39:19 I started to think about my life, and I think I had a moment where I had a reflection, but also had-- I, I battled with depression a whi- a little while ago, and I started to think what was the point. Why did all these things happen to me? Why is this my life, and where am I supposed to be? And I think, you know, like you said, there are two ways of dealing with it. There's a lot of people, you know, and my family's full of it. My family's full of different ways that we have all endured what we went through, 'cause I'm not the only one, and we've all gone different routes of that. And for me, I just started to think what is the point if I'm not treating this the way. I can't control the fact that my parents are dead. I can't control the fact that, you know, life is fleeting and, you know, I've had friends die and all these different things and, you know. Or even, like, the mistakes that happened, getting cheated on or, uh, just random stuff that has happened in my life. And then I start to realize if everything in life is a way to another thing, you know. What happens to you is a byproduct of a decision that someone made, and your reaction is what follows, right? And for me, if I lose someone, it teaches me something in some aspect of life. If I make a mistake on stage, I truly think that that's something because I need to learn. Mistakes are only important if you learn from them, and if you don't, it's a habit.

Jay Shetty 40:33 Mm.

Alex Warren 40:34 And so I, I've just really stressed that aspect of my life every day of, you know, growing, 'cause what's the point of living if you can't grow?

Jay Shetty 40:43 Mm.

Alex Warren 40:43 What's the point of living if you can't constantly try and become a better person? I-- The one thing I know about my dad, and I don't know much 'cause he died when I was a kid. Everyone I ask says he was the nicest person ever, says he was the kindest person ever, says he was a, a light when he walked through a room. And I often think of when I die, what is someone gonna say about me?

Jay Shetty 41:04 Mm.

Alex Warren 41:04 You know? And so for me, you know, I've always just strived and chased that ability to be like my dad.

Jay Shetty 41:11 Mm.

Alex Warren 41:12 And every day I'm constantly striving to be a better human, and the only way you do that is by growth, and the only way you grow is by learning from your mistakes.

Jay Shetty 41:20 Mm.

Alex Warren 41:21 Why focus on the things you can't change? Focus on the, the reaction of what has happened.

Jay Shetty 41:26 What do you hope people will say about you when you die?

Alex Warren 41:32 I feel like a lot of people have probably sat here and said something about their

Alex Warren 41:35 career, and I just wanna be-- I want someone to say that I was a great father.

Jay Shetty 41:39 Mm.

Alex Warren 41:39 I want people to be like that. Say what you want about me. Say what you want about my music, but I cared a lot, and I, I just wanna be a good father. That's what my entire life has set off to be, you know?

Jay Shetty 41:54 Yeah. I love, I love the videos you make-

Alex Warren 41:57 For my kids

Jay Shetty 41:57 ... with cover. Yeah, yeah, for your kids. [chuckles]

Alex Warren 41:59 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 41:59 That was inspiring me. I was like, "I need to start. I need to get on that train."

Alex Warren 42:02 My dad left us home videos.

Jay Shetty 42:04 No way.

Alex Warren 42:05 Yeah. So that was the coolest part about-

Jay Shetty 42:08 That he filmed for you?

Alex Warren 42:09 Everything. Everything. I have hours of footage of what my dad filmed. I get to hear his voice, and I think that's the other thing that no one teaches you about grief is you start to forget-The smell of someone. You start to forget what they sound like. You forget what it's like to hold someone after having a bad day or confiding to someone. You don't know how badly the one thing I wish is I could call my dad and just ask for advice about marriage, about fatherhood, about just things you go through. Like, that's, that's the thing I take for granted, just being able to call him. You know, I, I called every day to hear that voicemail, every day until one day someone picked up the phone. And 'cause my mom couldn't afford to keep paying the bill. And so that's the one thing is, like, it's been so nice to be able to see those videos and humanize someone who I didn't know. I often hear about my dad, and I've put him on this pedestal of just being this perfect guy, and I don't want him to be. I want him to have mistakes. I want him to have flaws because I have flaws. And I want to see that in my dad. And so my f- my dad's best friend, um, comes around all the time. He's in my life so much. He's like an uncle to me. And he brought these letters, 'cause back then they didn't have phones, and my dad used to-- they used to write each other letters, and it's his bestest friend, and he gets choked up talking about him all the time. And he showed me these letters, and I write just like my dad. I say psyched for no reason. I don't know why I say it.

Jay Shetty 43:48 [laughs]

Alex Warren 43:48 I'm like, "Oh, I'm psyched. That's sick." And everyone's like, "What are you talking about?"

Jay Shetty 43:51 [laughs]

Alex Warren 43:52 And he wrote it in every letter.

Jay Shetty 43:53 Wow.

Alex Warren 43:54 Someone I didn't know. Like, think about that. I did not know my dad. I was nine years old. I kn- I have memories of him the same way I have memories about my doctor, you know? And that's hard.

Jay Shetty 44:03 Mm.

Alex Warren 44:04 And there's so much of him in me, and that's the coolest part is being able to every day learn something new about him. And I, I say this, and I don't know where I heard it, and it's-- I never came up with this, but people die twice. They die when they die, and they die when you stop telling their story. And my whole goal with everything in my entire career, my entire life, is just to keep him alive-

Jay Shetty 44:24 Mm

Alex Warren 44:24 ... which has been really cool.

Jay Shetty 44:26 Yeah. I think you're doing a, a great job of that. I mean-

Alex Warren 44:28 Trying my damn best

Jay Shetty 44:29 ... you just-- even I feel, I feel so [laughs] you know, I feel like when you're talking about your dad, I feel so close to him even though I have no, you know, idea of who he was. And I, and I couldn't agree-

Alex Warren 44:37 Mm

Jay Shetty 44:37 ... with you more. I, I feel like you carry a part of the people that you lost, that you love.

Alex Warren 44:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:42 I had a, a spiritual mentor of mine, a father figure who passed away five years ago, who I loved deeply, and he had stage four brain cancer, and so-

Alex Warren 44:50 Geez

Jay Shetty 44:50 ... he started to lose his memory towards the last few years of his life. So he went from remembering my face and name to my name to, to towards the end not even noticing me.

Alex Warren 45:01 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:01 And he's-- I, I can relate to that point of just he's the person I wish I could call to share anything-

Alex Warren 45:07 Yeah

Jay Shetty 45:07 ... that happens in my life because that's what he was. And all of this took off after he passed away, really. And yeah, it's, it's one of those things. But I fully agree with that. I talk about him a lot on the podcast. I talk about him a lot with friends and family because y- there was no one like him.

Alex Warren 45:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:25 And I almost wish more people got to experience him to know what was possible-

Alex Warren 45:30 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 45:30 ... as a human and how someone could live with... So he had this-- because he had stage four brain cancer and his memory started to break, when he'd meet people, all he'd do was thank them for their service to God. And so his brain was stuck on gratitude.

Alex Warren 45:45 Wow.

Jay Shetty 45:45 So all he'd do is thank people. So he could forget their name, forget their face, but because he was a leader in our spiritual community, he would just, if he'd meet you, he'd just be like, "Thank you for your service to God," and he'd really mean it. Like, "Thank you for everything you've been doing."

Alex Warren 45:56 That's beautiful.

Jay Shetty 45:57 And it was just-- And I was like, "Wow," like, "God, if my brain ever broke, I hope it breaks like that."

Alex Warren 46:02 Right.

Jay Shetty 46:02 Because what-- that just shows what's really, you know, in there.

Alex Warren 46:05 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:06 But yeah, as I'm hearing you talk about this, it's almost like every phase of your life, I mean,

Jay Shetty 46:13 I-- when, when I was preparing for this, I was like, I-- and now I'm getting to meet you, obviously-

Alex Warren 46:17 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:17 ... so I have a completely different perspective-

Alex Warren 46:19 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:19 ... because I'm, I'm looking at how much resilience you have and strength you have and, and how much you're willing to open the wound as well and, and look at it from different angles, which is at 17, your mom kicks you out of the house.

Alex Warren 46:31 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:32 And then you end up, as you said a few moments ago, you end up being homeless and living in a car.

Alex Warren 46:36 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 46:37 Talk to me about the day-to-day of living as-- living in a car as a 17-year-old because-

Alex Warren 46:41 I mean, I had it, I had it pretty lucky. I'm not gonna lie. Like, I, I slept in cars. My friends would sneak me into their houses, and I would sleep, like, you know, on their floors with-- hiding, hoping no one walked in. Yeah, I'm not... I, I... There was only a few nights where I actually slept, like, on the road, like probably two. You know? And, like, I think that's the biggest thing for me is, you know, I-- my mom kicked me out because she wanted me to come back. She wanted me to... I think her whole thing and what m- I never realized was this insecurity of being a mother, you know? And for me, I would just-- I had a point where she-- That night, she had pinned me on the ground and just started wailing, punching as hard as she could. My brother, who's a Marine, ended up pulling her off, and I ran out of the house, and I never came back. Um, that was something where then the next day she called the cops, and the cops went looking for me, saying that I hit her. A whole thing. And so I just hid. I hid on the street. Uh, I hid in my friends' cars. My mom then called all of her, all of their friends' parents and said I'm bad news and all these things, and then they stopped letting me sleep in their house. And so I would sleep in a car, and then I ended up getting, um, [clears throat] shot by my friend's dad with a 177, which is like a BB. It's like a, it's like a, a, you know, you hunt deer or rabbits or something with it, and the m- it's, the way it's shaped is supposed to do as much damage in the animal. And it was an accident. He didn't mean to, or he didn't understand the scope of it. Um, and-

Jay Shetty 48:17 Well, as in why did he do it? Why, why did it even ha-

Alex Warren 48:20 I think a lot of the guys who, who grew up in the '70s and '80s would shoot each other with pellet guns. Like, that was the thing.Like, I guess. And I don't think they realized this wasn't a pellet gun, and it was like a hunting rifle. And, uh, he also-- I don't know if he knew it was loaded, but, uh, we were filming a video, and he said, "Run." I ran, and, uh, zigzagged 'cause I thought that would work. And damn, was he a good shot. He nailed me right in the liver, and it went up. It missed my heart by a few centimeters, and it's stuck in my lung today.

Jay Shetty 48:50 It's still there today?

Alex Warren 48:51 Yeah, yeah. It's so small that if you were to-- If you X-ray it, you can see it, but if you were to pull it out, you'd have to break my ribs, and it'd be a chance I would die, and it's just not worth it. It's capsulized in my lung right now, my right lung. And-

Jay Shetty 49:03 Talk to me about how it felt in the moment. I mean, that's excruciating.

Alex Warren 49:06 Have you ever seen those videos of paintballs hitting your body in slow motion?

Jay Shetty 49:08 Yeah, for sure.

Alex Warren 49:09 Felt like that. It hit a nerve. I jumped up, I broke my elbow. Or I s- I, I fractured it or whatever. And I just remember the worst pain you'll ever feel in your entire life. I don't know what it's like to get shot with a nine mil, but that was like-- It was burning in my body, and I was scratching my chest trying to just get the pain. I was like, "Make it stop, please." And I remember when I was shot, they didn't believe it was in me. They thought I was [censored] around, and so they were squeezing the wound, trying to get the pellet out, thinking it was at surface level, not realizing I was bleeding internally. And, um, yeah, I remember that was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life, is feeling the pellet burn, or bullet, technically it's a bullet, burning in my body. That was hard. That one sucked.

Jay Shetty 49:58 Did you go to the hospital immediately?

Alex Warren 49:59 Yes. Yeah, I went to the hospital. They admitted me for a gunshot wound. I had the cops come 'cause every time you admit anyone to the, to the hospital for a GSW, you-- the cops come. This guy, uh, he's-- Funny enough, he officiated my wedding. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 50:13 The guy who shot you?

Alex Warren 50:15 Yeah. [laughs] Huge part of my life, actually. He's a huge part of my life. He was a father figure to me when my dad passed away, and he made a mistake. Um, I'm also probably the most forgiving person you'll ever meet in your entire life.

Jay Shetty 50:25 You're literally- [laughs] Like, wow. Like, I think, Alex, we need to slow down here. Yeah.

Alex Warren 50:29 No, he's amazing.

Jay Shetty 50:30 Wow.

Alex Warren 50:30 He's truly-- Like, uh, his family has been such a crucial part of my life and in my recover-- like, not recovery, but in my life of becoming who I am today. He has been-- He's someone I still go back home and visit, and he officiated my wedding. His daughter is my best friend since I was 13. Um, and he was letting me sleep on the floor of his house and sleep, uh, sleep in his car, and when this happened, he obviously paid the hospital bills, and he, uh, bought me a... He, he owns a Volvo dealership, or he manages a Volvo dealership, and so I had a car, and, um, I slept in it, which was awesome. So I had-- The car that I had, it was a stick shift, 1994 wagon. It was great. Volvo wagon.

Jay Shetty 51:10 How long did that recovery take?

Alex Warren 51:12 Recovery, I was in the hospital for two months, maybe a month and a half.

Jay Shetty 51:16 And you said it just missed your heart.

Alex Warren 51:17 Yeah. Yeah. But nothing-

Jay Shetty 51:19 And it's still in your lung.

Alex Warren 51:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 51:21 But it can't do any damage in there.

Alex Warren 51:23 Uh, if I fall from a certain height is what they said. If I, like, fall to

Alex Warren 51:26 my body at 10 feet maybe.

Jay Shetty 51:29 So no flips.

Alex Warren 51:30 I still flip. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 51:32 Like, but it's not something you think about. Like, it's-

Alex Warren 51:34 Mm-mm.

Jay Shetty 51:35 It doesn't cause any pain. Like, you don't-

Alex Warren 51:36 Sometimes.

Jay Shetty 51:37 Oh.

Alex Warren 51:37 Sometimes I, I-

Jay Shetty 51:38 What about for singing and, like-

Alex Warren 51:40 No, I, I don't know. I, I need to get my lungs checked out, especially 'cause I just-- I quit smoking three years ago. When I was homeless, that was something I really got into, was smoking cigarettes.

Jay Shetty 51:48 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 51:49 And then I went to vaping, and so I really wanna get my lungs checked out, especially having cancer run in my family.

Jay Shetty 51:53 Yeah, yeah.

Alex Warren 51:54 But, um, yeah, I, I, I need to get that checked out [laughs] probably. I have no idea.

Jay Shetty 51:59 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alex Warren 51:59 All I know is, is I, I sing my little took a shot.

Jay Shetty 52:02 That's, that's crazy.

Alex Warren 52:04 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 52:04 I mean... I mean, like, it's just almost like... I mean, I'm in shock right now because it's just thing after thing after thing after thing. I mean, it's, you know-

Alex Warren 52:15 Sounds fake.

Jay Shetty 52:15 No, no, I, I, I didn't, I didn't feel that. I just feel like it's, it's, um, it's hard.

Alex Warren 52:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 52:20 That's it. And it's ju- it's just like it, it doesn't sound fake to me. It just sounds-

Alex Warren 52:25 Oh, I say it all the time.

Jay Shetty 52:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it, it-

Alex Warren 52:27 I'm like, "It, it doesn't sound real."

Jay Shetty 52:28 It doesn't sound real in the sense of just, like, you can't believe someone survived it all. That's, that's the hard part. It's like, how, how did someone survive it all and not end up... You know, h- it's almost like how did someone survive it all and h- have the approach you have to it?

Alex Warren 52:44 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 52:44 That's what-- Like, sitting with you here today-

Alex Warren 52:47 Yeah

Jay Shetty 52:48 ... knowing all of this and then hearing about it from you in detail, and st- And I'm like, h- how do you not, how do you not j- you know, that-

Alex Warren 52:54 Have a vice? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 52:55 Huh?

Alex Warren 52:55 How do I not have a vice of sorts? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 52:57 No, no, it's not even a vice.

Alex Warren 52:59 No, I get it.

Jay Shetty 52:59 It's just how you just-

Alex Warren 53:00 I could've gone in a fully different direction.

Jay Shetty 53:01 100%. Yeah.

Alex Warren 53:01 And I could also have a huge different outlook, you know?

Jay Shetty 53:03 That's what I mean. It's, it's the outlook that is the most, um, profound to me.

Alex Warren 53:08 I don't know.

Jay Shetty 53:08 And, and I'm really grateful for that. Like, it's, it's quite-- It's beautiful to sit with that because I'm always looking for... I was on tour this year, earlier this year, and I, uh, met this young girl who, her story's just stayed with me ever since, and it was like she, she was-- She's from here. She was a world champion cheerleader, um, winning all these competitions, traveling across the country, performing, et cetera. You know, everything that cheerleaders do. And then she had a freak accident, um, broke her, you know, broke her back spine. She's a quadriplegic now. She is paralyzed, um, from her hands down. Uh, I met her in her wheelchair that she'd come to my event. She's 19 years old. She was 16 when it happened.

Alex Warren 53:57 Wow.

Jay Shetty 53:57 And she was just bright and beaming, and, like, the light in the-- Like, she was just-- you know, brought so much light into the room.

Alex Warren 54:05 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 54:06 And I just couldn't believe, like, someone who'd been through that, she was telling me her story, could be that, like, you know, that powerful and vibrant and, and everything else. And it-- And I, I tell her story and, and I'm so grateful I get to share yours on the platform because these are the kind of stories that inspire me and-... make me look for the lesson, and make me look for the gift, and make me look, because it's stories like yours, and stories like hers, and stories like so many others that I've had the fortune of talking to, or people I look forward to meeting in the future that inspire me in my darkest moments, um, which are not as dark as that. Not to compare, but they're not. And so, or as yours, and yeah, it's, it's, it's beautiful to think that you can find beauty and create beauty through so much pain.

Alex Warren 54:54 Yeah. It's, as far... It's inspiration for me just to be able to... Dude, growing up, I, I wanted an outlet in music, and I didn't know it. I didn't find it. I didn't see it, you know, until heard Lewis Capaldi when I was, like, 18. I think I was 18 when I heard Lewis, and he started writing about loss, and that was something that was hugely inspiration for me. Like, I, I, I write about that now, and that was a lot of... That got me through a lot of stuff, you know? And so I think that was the biggest thing, was, like, I wanted to be that for someone else. I wanted to help other people whom... I think the one thing that I did that was super selfish was assume that this was all me. I assumed that this only happens to me, and I'm the only one who has lost his parents, and I'm the only one who goes through these feelings. And as I started playing these shows and as I started to write these songs, I've realized that it's, it's way more than you think. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter how much you make or what your skin color is, you, you go through loss. You understand that. You have, you have things that you lose every day, your family members, your friends, your loved ones, you- your dog. And that's the one thing that's universally I think can connect everyone, is understanding that piece of you is gone, and everyone tries not to talk about it. And so it's been a... The most beautiful thing about making music was, has been able to be a, uh... It's one thing you can't articulate. When you lose someone and going through grief, it's something you cannot articulate.

Jay Shetty 56:17 Mm.

Alex Warren 56:17 You don't know how to go through it, and everyone has a different advice on how to. And I think that's the biggest thing, is making music that sounds like it, making music that allows you to articulate that feeling, you know? And so I've just been really focusing on that.

Jay Shetty 56:29 Yeah. I think that's... I mean, especially for things that can't be put into words, it feels like that's exactly where music comes to heal.

Alex Warren 56:38 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 56:38 Because you feel seen, you feel heard, you feel understood without having to say anything.

Alex Warren 56:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 56:43 You can just put it on and, and it's,

Jay Shetty 56:45 it's amazing to hear that Lewis was doing that. Was there any other artist that you feel have opened that up and, and gone there to that extent that impacted you?

Alex Warren 56:55 Probably Shawn Mendes. I think, we were talking about Shawn earlier, too, and Shawn is, um... When I first wrote my first song, I fully... I'm so sorry, Shawn, if you're... I ripped off Stitches fully. I stole the four chords that he did, and I would just move the capo around, and that's obviously a, a, a version before, but that was a huge thing. I, songwriting, my first four years of my life, songwriting was just Shawn Mendes Stitches chords moving around a capo and because I didn't know how to play guitar. And it was a huge inspiration just listening to songwriting, too, and understanding, you know, his, his, you know, understanding different ways people grow up and different things they go through, and his songwriting was a huge inspiration for mine. So-

Jay Shetty 57:37 Wow

Alex Warren 57:38 ... yeah, probably him.

Jay Shetty 57:38 Yeah. We love Shawn. He's been a guest on the show, too, and he's, um, yeah, he's absolutely-

Alex Warren 57:42 Sweetheart

Jay Shetty 57:43 ... a special man. Yeah. So wait, all of your music knowledge is fully self-taught?

Alex Warren 57:47 Yeah. Yeah, not until I was about 20, 21, I really put out my first song.

Jay Shetty 57:54 Yes.

Alex Warren 57:54 And I was like, "I need to take this. I need to do this and throw my whole ev- my everything into it." I wanted to do it right. I wanted to, obviously, 'cause music, I had such a weird relationship with it my entire life that I, I, I definitely have really bad imposter syndrome. So I started taking music theory lessons. I started taking piano lessons. I take vocal lessons three times a week, if not more, still to this day for the last four years of my life. I started taking guitar lessons and, you know, asking how to produce and, like, you know, when I'm in the studio, how, what do you do to my voice? How do you do that? What do you do to this instrument? How do you compress that? How do you EQ that? And when I'm doing my in-ear monitors, how mu- what's the frequency you're taking out? What is Auto-Tune tu- tuned at? Is it 440 or 432? And, um, I think it's really interesting, um, just learning about it and kinda starting from scratch and reevaluating what you understand about music. So yeah, a long... I was self-taught for a very long time, and then I really wanted to understand it all.

Jay Shetty 58:50 Yeah. It's, uh... I, I love hearing the balance of both, of just this pure passion-

Alex Warren 58:55 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 58:55 ... and then mastery-

Alex Warren 58:57 Yeah

Jay Shetty 58:57 ... it sounds like, where you're actually trying to put in the hours and the work and the, you know, the reps in a more formal capacity at the same time as having this years of just singing on musically or posting a video when there wasn't any training or, or structure around it.

Alex Warren 59:12 Yeah. Yeah, I had to do it all myself, and I realized that I was fortunate enough to be able to, um, have an arsenal of, of help, and so I just took it.

Jay Shetty 59:22 Yeah. What did it, what did it feel like? You talked about, you mentioned it earlier, and I'm kinda looping back to it, but you talked about, like, how when you met your now wife, Kova-

Alex Warren 59:31 Yeah

Jay Shetty 59:31 ... like, that there was something special about that connection, and I believe you met on Snapchat.

Alex Warren 59:36 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 59:36 Yeah.

Alex Warren 59:36 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 59:37 Which is, which is amazing.

Alex Warren 59:39 Crazy.

Jay Shetty 59:39 Talk, talk to me about how that happened. Talk, talk to me.

Alex Warren 59:40 New age.

Alex Warren 59:41 It's, uh, the new age Romeo and Juliet.

Jay Shetty 59:42 Yeah. [laughs]

Alex Warren 59:43 Um, no. Um, she... My friend had moved to Hawaii. She's from Hawaii, and my friend had moved in with her, and they were friends, and so she would throw my wife, Kova, on her story a lot, and there was this photo, and it's so funny 'cause [laughs] I tell this story all the time, and she's like, "I hate that photo."

Jay Shetty 59:59 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:00:00 My wife can sleep anywhere, at any time, in any position, any time. Like, sh- I've sh- we, I... She comes surfing with me in the morning, and she'll s- fall asleep on the rock.

Jay Shetty 1:00:09 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:00:09 Like, I'm not kidding. There's photos of her sleeping on rocks. Um, there's a photo of her, the first photo I ever saw of her was her, um, sleeping in a weird position like this, and I texted my friend and I said, "That's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." And, um, we started talking on Snapchat, yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:00:26 We all want to feel better, to have more energy and more focus throughout the day.That's why I co-founded Juni, a sparkling adaptogenic drink made with powerful ingredients like ashwagandha and lion's mane. It's designed to boost your mood, support your focus, and give you natural energy, all without the crash. A new classic reimagined. We're so excited to officially launch our new lemonade iced tea flavor. When we created Juni, my goal was simple: I wanted to make drinks that help you feel balanced and energized without compromise. Our upgraded take on the classic Arnold Palmer is crisp, refreshing, and crafted with adaptogens to support energy, focus, and mood, all with zero sugar. Be among the first to try it, available exclusively at drinkjuni.com, where you can use the code ONPURPOSE20 for 20% off your first order. Cheers to your daily mood boost. What part of you did you share with Kova that you think was hidden until then? Like, was there something that Kova brought out of you that you didn't even know you had within yourself? Seems like you have such a special relationship.

Alex Warren 1:01:34 Yeah. I, I don't know a single girl-

Jay Shetty 1:01:37 Mm

Alex Warren 1:01:37 ... who would find out that I'm homeless and go, "Cool, let's do it." [laughs] She dropped out of college. She had 500 bucks saved up. That's it. She found out I was sleeping in a car, and immediately was like, "All right. Cool. Like, let's do it." And she-

Jay Shetty 1:01:51 That is the, that is the crazy- I am like, I, I, I cannot believe. She's amazing.

Alex Warren 1:01:56 I know. Yeah, she's, she's ... I- I'm-

Jay Shetty 1:01:59 Have you asked her, like, why she said yes to that? Like, why-

Alex Warren 1:02:02 No, actually. [laughs] I should.

Jay Shetty 1:02:03 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:02:04 I should, I should examine that. You're right. Uh-

Jay Shetty 1:02:06 Next time I want her on the podcast with you.

Alex Warren 1:02:08 I didn't ... I, I, I didn't expect when she said yes to go, "Mm, why?" [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:02:12 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:02:12 I was like, "Yeah, dude, I'm not gonna question this."

Jay Shetty 1:02:14 Did you, did you ask her? Like, you were, like, you were dating, things were going good. Did you ask her to move in with you? Like, was it that kind-

Alex Warren 1:02:19 No. She just, she did it. She ... It was, it was straight up, like, I was sleeping in my car.

Alex Warren 1:02:25 She was staying with a friend, 'cause she lived in Hawaii, but she came out to California just to visit. And then she was like, "Oh, cool. Yeah," and moved out of her friend's house and moved into my car. She had options. [laughs] She, she, she picked probably the one that no one would've picked, and I think that's the thing. It taught me, for me, like, that's something I probably would've done. You know, as I've said all these stories now, I feel like I'm one of those people who I trust my gut, and it seemed like her gut was that, and she didn't question it. And I, I feel like that was kind of the indication of, like, wow, this isn't a normal person. This is my person.

Jay Shetty 1:03:01 How were your relationship before that? Did you have time for relationships? What did they look like through your teens?

Alex Warren 1:03:05 I was notoriously cheated on. I was-

Jay Shetty 1:03:08 I see.

Alex Warren 1:03:08 Well, I think I, I think I looked for what I was missing in my home life in, in girls. I mean, I w- I met my wife when I was 18, so, like, you gotta think, uh, all, everything before that was probably not real. But ... Well, not real, but just not necessarily, I would say, mature. I, I was a clingy guy. Like, I was a super clingy guy who needed, you know, who didn't trust anyone. I got cheated on every relationship. I was not a catch by any means, you know? So I think relationships before were just me trying to figure out who I was, but also what I wanted in an, uh, a partner. Uh, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:03:46 Was it difficult accepting love from Kova because you'd-

Alex Warren 1:03:50 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:50 ... not had consistent love before?

Alex Warren 1:03:52 Yeah. It was definitely. I, I ... It took me a second to be secure with my relationship. Probably took me a year or two, to be frank with you, man. I, I, I don't think I was secure at all. I think I just had so much baggage. I had so much shit in my life. I ... My mom was alive at the time, and my mom made it a mission to make my life hell. So my mom said some pretty choice words to my girlfriend, or now wife, at the t- at the time.

Jay Shetty 1:04:15 What did she say?

Alex Warren 1:04:16 She sent her a whole message pretty much being like, you know, calling her a whore and saying all these things.

Jay Shetty 1:04:20 Wow.

Alex Warren 1:04:20 My mom was probably the most ... My mom was an amazing person, but when she was drunk, she was probably the most racist, homophobic, rude person I ever grew up with,

Alex Warren 1:04:31 which kind of showed me ... My mom, I will say this, and again, I love my mother, but she showed me exactly who I didn't wanna be, you know? And, um, hence why I go by Alex Warren. It's my mom ... I, I didn't want anything my mom did ever reflect on me, 'cause I am not that person. I never wanna be that person. And so I started going by my not-real name because I never wanted that part of that to be associated with me. But, um, my mom was not a kind person when she was drunk, and she made it a mission to attack anyone in her life.

Jay Shetty 1:05:03 Mm.

Alex Warren 1:05:03 Which is probably an insecurity thing in herself.

Jay Shetty 1:05:06 Was the name change and identity shift unsettling, or did it just feel-

Alex Warren 1:05:11 Just felt right. Felt normal. Felt, felt ... It gave me so much easement, you know? My mom was just very vocal about things that I didn't agree with, which I feel like everyone has that.

Jay Shetty 1:05:26 Yeah, yeah. [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:05:26 You know? I can't ... I, I don't think Thanksgivings are necessarily everyone's f-favorite thing, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:05:30 [laughs] Yeah, yeah.

Alex Warren 1:05:30 So.

Jay Shetty 1:05:30 Where, who did you celebrate Thanksgiving with? Just-

Alex Warren 1:05:32 Family. Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:05:33 Who?

Alex Warren 1:05:33 My older sister and my brother. Yeah. And-

Jay Shetty 1:05:35 That's-

Alex Warren 1:05:35 Yeah. So we went out and we went to their house for Thanksgiving, which was nice.

Jay Shetty 1:05:39 Yeah. How, how cathartic was it to have your music career take off in the same year as your mom passed away? Like, did that mean something to you? Did that have certain emotions attached to it for you?

Alex Warren 1:05:51 I have never thought of the correlation. Uh ... Wow. Yeah, I didn't even realize that was the same year. I never thought about it like that. Um ...

Jay Shetty 1:06:05 Yeah, I think I'm right.

Alex Warren 1:06:06 You are.

Jay Shetty 1:06:06 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:06:06 You are. I put my first song out in June of 2021, and she died in October of 2021. That's crazy. I don't know. I, I've never thought about that. I, I ... That's cool. [laughs] I, I don't know how to react to that.

Jay Shetty 1:06:23 Mm.

Alex Warren 1:06:26 I think it's something that I'd have to probably process

Jay Shetty 1:06:31 Yeah, of course. No, of course, please. Didn't mean to shock you, just-

Alex Warren 1:06:34 No, no, no

Jay Shetty 1:06:34 ... it was just, yeah, yeah

Alex Warren 1:06:34 ... I mean, it's not that-

Jay Shetty 1:06:36 Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. No, no, no. I, I appreciate-

Alex Warren 1:06:38 It's not this revolutionary thing. It's more of a, it's more of like it's, it's, uh, I, I definitely feel like my, what has now spewed of my music career is something that, you know, has been dealing with those things, and the fact that that happened the same year I pursued music, I feel like it's just another one of those things that have just happened that you kind of have to wonder, "What the hell is happening in my life?"

Jay Shetty 1:07:00 Yeah. Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, [sighs] yeah, life is just... There's so many moments like that that, uh, yeah, you, you can't explain them because you go, "How, how is it possible-

Alex Warren 1:07:12 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:07:13 ... that these two things

Jay Shetty 1:07:14 coincide in a matter of months?"

Alex Warren 1:07:15 So many.

Jay Shetty 1:07:16 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:07:16 So many things in my life.

Jay Shetty 1:07:17 So many things, yeah.

Alex Warren 1:07:17 You know? [clears throat]

Jay Shetty 1:07:18 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:07:18 To the point where it's like, you know, I, I'm baffled by it every time, so.

Jay Shetty 1:07:23 So many sliding doors moments in your life, too. I'm almost like, "Well, what if you and your mom didn't have that fight where you were pinned and you didn't run away?"

Alex Warren 1:07:30 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:07:31 And what would happen if you didn't get shot and become really close to, you know, your friend's dad who, b- you know, was the officiant of your we- Like, there's... And everyone has that. Everyone has those.

Alex Warren 1:07:44 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:07:44 Yours seem quite, um, there's just, there's just really high tension moments of just-

Alex Warren 1:07:48 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:07:49 ... figuring that out. Talk to me about the wedding with Kover.

Alex Warren 1:07:52 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:07:53 How long were you together before you got married?

Alex Warren 1:07:55 Five years.

Jay Shetty 1:07:56 Okay.

Alex Warren 1:07:56 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:07:57 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:07:57 Five years until I proposed, six years until we got married. And now-

Jay Shetty 1:08:01 Where did you get married?

Alex Warren 1:08:02 What?

Jay Shetty 1:08:03 Where did you get married?

Alex Warren 1:08:03 We got married in Temecula.

Jay Shetty 1:08:05 Okay.

Alex Warren 1:08:05 Yeah, so I, I'm from San Diego.

Jay Shetty 1:08:07 Yes.

Alex Warren 1:08:07 So it was something cool. We, we got married at a garden, um-

Jay Shetty 1:08:11 Temecula's beautiful.

Alex Warren 1:08:12 Yeah. I, I was terrified. The, the-

Jay Shetty 1:08:14 Of the wedding or Temecula?

Alex Warren 1:08:15 The, the wedding. Temacu- Temecula's a great place.

Jay Shetty 1:08:18 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:08:18 Um, no, the wedding, I, I was, I wanted it to be perfect, and it's so, [inhales] it's so crazy when you have family and every- and you invite a bunch of people, and I wanted this big wedding 'cause I think that there was so many people that were a huge part of my life, you know? Like, so many people are the byproducts of who I am today, and so I invited everyone in my life. I think there was 300 people at my wedding. Um, looking back at that, I probably would've shrunk it a little bit. [laughs] But yeah, I think everyone just w- wanted it to be a particular way because they wanted it to be like their wedding, and I think, you know, that rehearsal dinner was terrifying. It was, it, nothing went to plan. Nothing went to plan at the rehearsal dinner-

Jay Shetty 1:08:55 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:08:56 ... or the rehe- rehearsal in general. And the minute the wedding actually happened, it was perfect. It was perfection.

Jay Shetty 1:09:01 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 1:09:01 It wa- I c- I could not have dreamed of a, a better wedding. And-

Jay Shetty 1:09:04 Love that

Alex Warren 1:09:05 ... it was, it was amazing. It was so cool to be able to... I mean, even, like, my vows, I've, I don't think I'll ever write a piece of work better than those, and-

Jay Shetty 1:09:13 Do you sing? Or do you s-

Alex Warren 1:09:14 No.

Jay Shetty 1:09:14 Okay.

Alex Warren 1:09:15 I f- I, I didn't wanna work on my-

Jay Shetty 1:09:17 Yeah

Alex Warren 1:09:17 ... wedding. And I, with the vows, I also just wanted to make sure that I said everything I wanted to, you know? And I think that's the biggest regret in my life is I never got to say the things I wanted to in the time that I had, and the wedding was something for me where I thought that would be the perfect time to say everything I've ever wanted to to her. And so I spent, you know, the better half of that night prior just perfecting those vows, and I [laughs] remember before I even went out, I read it over again, and I was like, "Do I wanna do a grammar change?" What did, like... It was so funny, and I, it just, it came from the heart, and it was so special.

Jay Shetty 1:09:50 Yeah. That's, that's beautiful. Yeah, I, I'm a big, I'm a sucker for love, and I've officiated a few weddings, and, um, whenever I'm officiating a wedding, my, my voice in my head is, "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry,"

Jay Shetty 1:10:02 'cause I love love so much-

Alex Warren 1:10:03 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:10:03 ... that I can just, like, fully break down, and I'm, like, tearing over, like, you know, the bride walking down the aisle and then the look in the husband's, uh-

Alex Warren 1:10:10 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:10:10 ... husband-to-be's eyes and the groom's eyes, and it's just, yeah, it's, it's a magical moment, and vows are probably my favorite part.

Alex Warren 1:10:17 Oh my God.

Jay Shetty 1:10:17 That's the part where I really have to hold it together and, uh, it's, it's, um, yeah, wedding, weddings are a beautiful thing. I remember I broke down saying my own vows to my wife-

Alex Warren 1:10:26 Oh my God

Jay Shetty 1:10:26 ... when I gave my speech, and it was just like, God, just, you know. She, she was laughing. She was cracking up, which is so in-, uh-

Alex Warren 1:10:33 I love that

Jay Shetty 1:10:34 ... indicative of our relationship.

Alex Warren 1:10:35 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:10:36 Yeah. What are the parts of your, what are the parts of your... I, I find this, and I'm intrigued to hear what you say about this. You said that you learned from your mom who you didn't wanna be.

Alex Warren 1:10:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:47 What are the parts of your mom that you sometimes see in yourself when you're dealing with Kover or anyone?

Alex Warren 1:10:55 I'm stubborn. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:10:56 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:10:56 I'm really stubborn, man. I mean, ah, that's difficult. I think I spent so much time arguing with my mom that I, I just became so argumentative, you know? And I think that's, like, my biggest thing and my biggest struggle is I think I just want to win every argument now, you know? Growing up with my mom, my entire relationship with her was trying to prove that she had a problem and trying to spin my words a certain way to articulate to her that she had a problem. You know, if I said it one way, she would tell me that she didn't have a problem and shut it down, so every time I had that, I had to articulate it d- a different way, try to give her a percep- ba- perspective. Big metaphor guy, because I always tried to correlate to someone who's... I always wondered how someone's brain worked that they couldn't admit that they had a problem or couldn't understand that if you're getting drunk at 5:00 AM and driving your kids drunk to school, right? So I'd find different ways to try and communicate with that, with her, 'cause I always thought it was a communication error, and it was never that, and that was my problem is it was never a communication error. It was not wanting to admit you had a problem and, but you knowing it did.

Jay Shetty 1:11:57 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 1:11:57 So for me, you know, now that I'm, that was a better half of my entire life, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:12:03 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 1:12:03 I catch myself arguing with my wife, trying to win opposed to trying to understand where they're coming from, you know? It's like you hear something, and that's the biggest thing is the last two years of my life have been me just trying to put myself in other people's shoes because that's the one thing I carried away from it was whenever someone would argue with me, I didn't care about how they felt. I cared about winning the argument, and I had to take a step back. And I think once I started music especially and just really writing records, it really kind of changed who I am now.

Jay Shetty 1:12:36 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 1:12:36 And I've been able to reallyemotionally

Alex Warren 1:12:39 be present in a lot of things and understand that, you know, how someone feels is important, you know? And I, I know that. And after... I remember after every argument, I'd be like, "Wow, I'm a piece of shit." I didn't, like... I obviously care. I obviously care, but during that moment, it just, it was instinct of just to be combative. And so w- I remember it would be an hour-long conversation just for it to end with, "I'm sorry."

Jay Shetty 1:13:03 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:13:03 Like, that's not-

Jay Shetty 1:13:05 I can relate

Alex Warren 1:13:05 ... you know?

Jay Shetty 1:13:05 No, no, I'm with you. I can relate.

Alex Warren 1:13:06 You know? And so it's just, that's been definitely one of the things I've carried from my mom is just truly, like, you know, that relationship where there was just so that, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:13:13 Yeah. What are the cycles you and Coville want to break for your kids? I know you said the goal is to become a dad and...

Alex Warren 1:13:19 Um, the cycles, I think... Wow, I don't know. I think more about how I'm terrified to be a parent 'cause I don't wanna do it wrong, you know? Especially with the way I grew up. I grew up without a dad. How am I supposed to understand what that's like if I never had it, you know? And so what I've really thought about is just the fact that I'm... I wanna be a girl dad so bad. Like, I don't know what it is. I just think I would thrive with a, with a, a girl. And, um, I think the biggest thing is, you know, the only thing you can do, right, is love them unconditionally-

Jay Shetty 1:13:50 Mm

Alex Warren 1:13:51 ... and try your best to, to, to raise them. You know, there is no right way. There is no proper thing. It's just gonna be me trying to be the best father I can be. I think with things that we're trying to break, I'm not sure. I haven't given that much thought. I haven't-

Jay Shetty 1:14:07 Mm

Alex Warren 1:14:07 ... necessarily thought about what that might look like yet, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:14:12 Mm.

Alex Warren 1:14:12 Which is gonna be an interesting conversation or at least an interesting thought process when I go into it.

Jay Shetty 1:14:16 Yeah, definitely. I'm excited to see what you both come out with.

Alex Warren 1:14:18 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:14:18 'Cause I feel like there's... You have so many great reflections-

Alex Warren 1:14:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:14:22 ... and pinpoints and, like, almost, you know.

Alex Warren 1:14:24 I, I, I've really battled with not w- I, when she gets pregnant, I don't wanna tell anyone. I don't wanna post about it.

Jay Shetty 1:14:28 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:14:28 I don't wanna... That's been the one thing I really... Everything in my life is private, or is not private. I, granted, I tell you everything.

Jay Shetty 1:14:36 Yeah, yeah.

Alex Warren 1:14:37 You know? And I, I love that aspect of my life, and I think... I battle, the one thing I battle with is I'm so insecure now.

Jay Shetty 1:14:44 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 1:14:44 I'm so... I have the worst imposter syndrome. I care about what everyone thinks about me.

Jay Shetty 1:14:49 Really?

Alex Warren 1:14:50 I care so much. If I have 1,000 comments and 1 of them is someone saying I suck, I walk around all day asking people if I suck. "Wait, but this person said I suck. Like, do I actually suck?" Like, and, "Wait, was this fine?

Alex Warren 1:15:02 Was I off here?" And, like, I, I could never put my kid through that, unless they wanted to, but I, I wouldn't. I, I don't know if I could ever... Do you know how distraught I'd be if I decided to share a photo with my kid and someone's like, "That kid's ugly"? Are you kidding? I'm not gonna put them through that.

Jay Shetty 1:15:18 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:15:18 I'm gonna put myself through that. [laughs] Knowing my genes. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:15:22 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:15:23 No, but I don't know.

Jay Shetty 1:15:24 Oh, my God. You... Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:15:25 But my wife is like, she loves talking about the things.

Jay Shetty 1:15:27 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:15:27 She loves, like, she loves, like, posting about stuff.

Jay Shetty 1:15:29 Yeah, yeah.

Alex Warren 1:15:29 So it's definitely been a thing where, like, that's been a huge conversation-

Jay Shetty 1:15:33 Yeah

Alex Warren 1:15:33 ... is, is posting about that, and I don't think, I don't think I will.

Jay Shetty 1:15:36 Has that been the... Because, you know, when you look at your life and you think you've been through so much hardship-

Alex Warren 1:15:40 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:15:41 ... and it's fascinating that a comment saying you suck still hurts. It just shows us, as humans, we're all wired so similarly. It like, doesn't matter that you've dealt with way harder things in your life.

Alex Warren 1:15:51 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:15:52 Having a thou- having a thou- like, having you said it was a 1 out of 1,000 comment that says you suck, it still hurts because we all don't wanna be hated on. Like, has that been the hardest thing about this rise and the music getting so much love and affection of course across the world, comes with it naturally, proportionately, comes, you know, people who don't like it or whatever it may be?

Alex Warren 1:16:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:16:13 Has that been the hardest thing about it?

Alex Warren 1:16:15 Yeah, I think so. I think, again, like I said, like, the music I make is so real to me.

Jay Shetty 1:16:19 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:16:20 It's about my personal life. It's hard not to take it personal. So many people are like, "Oh, it's art. Don't take it personal. They're judging your art. They're not judging you." And it's, my art is me, you know? And that's-

Jay Shetty 1:16:27 When you're writing One More I Love You, it's like-

Alex Warren 1:16:29 Yeah, like, that was... You know, I'm not thinking about the song and how you don't like it. I'm thinking about the fact that there's a 15-year-old kid who wrote that in his bedroom, trying to get over loss, you know? And, and that's the hardest part for it. And I also think it's like, you know, I, I think it's probably my mom's voice. When I look for that comment, I'm looking for my mom in some random way. If I had a therapist, I bet she would say that.

Jay Shetty 1:16:48 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:16:48 But yeah, it's just been, like, one of those situations in my life especially I've just really kind of... It's the hardest thing, dude. I am the most insecure mother over me, which most of us are. Most-- What I've learned is most people in this industry are the most insecure people, where you think they have it all together, and everything's being held together by tape and nails.

Jay Shetty 1:17:09 What are you insecure about?

Alex Warren 1:17:11 Everything. I am everything. I think it's so easy for me to say all these different things because it's true and I believe it, but at the same time, I look in the mirror and I, I, you know... Not even the way I look. I just wish I... These songs are so true. These songs are so real, and I want them to be perfect every time, and that's not humanly possible. I want e- I want... I've worked so hard, and I just want people to think I'm good enough.

Jay Shetty 1:17:38 Mm-hmm.

Alex Warren 1:17:38 You know? Because, like, I, I think it, that'll convince me I'm good enough. And so when I see comments that, you know, are hateful, I think that's the truth, and I think everyone who's being nice is just gaslighting me.

Jay Shetty 1:17:50 Mm.

Alex Warren 1:17:51 Which is a perception thing that I need to work on.

Jay Shetty 1:17:53 Yeah. Do you feel enough today?

Alex Warren 1:17:56 Yeah. I had a really good show last night. And you know, I-- Like, it's funny, it fluctuates, but, like-

Jay Shetty 1:18:01 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:18:01 ... I don't know. I've been feeling the love recently. I think the hardest part about being nominated for the GRAMMYs and all these different things is-

Jay Shetty 1:18:06 Yeah

Alex Warren 1:18:06 ... it opens people up who do not like you to fully just shit on you.

Jay Shetty 1:18:09 Mm.

Alex Warren 1:18:10 And that's been the one thing I've really had to, like-

Jay Shetty 1:18:11 Critics or online?

Alex Warren 1:18:13 Everyone. I think, like, you know, more now than ever, i- i- it's percep- Like, I think because I'm a Christian who writes songs about my wife, people think they know who I am, or they assume I'm some thing, you know, whether it's political or what they think that I believe in this. And, like, I've seen the most outlandish things said about me on the internet, and it's, the biggest thing is, like, I just don't comment on it.

Jay Shetty 1:18:36 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:18:36 'Cause, like, those people, I'm not gonna change their mind, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:18:39 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:18:39 If you think I'm some... racist or whatever

Alex Warren 1:18:44 this thing because you think, because I'm a Christian. I think that's the craziest thing in the world, you know? And my faith is, is, has to do with, you know, with my parents passing away and, and who I am today, you know? And it's just been a, it's been such a struggle to kind of watch people say things about me that is not true.

Jay Shetty 1:19:00 Mm.

Alex Warren 1:19:01 You know? And all the sudden I just have to be okay with it and not say anything, 'cause that's the right play. You know, you, you, you fight for yourself. These p- these people aren't gonna believe you, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:19:11 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:19:11 They're just gonna be like, "Oh, you're just saying that because you sold your soul," and it's like, what?

Jay Shetty 1:19:14 [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:19:15 What?

Jay Shetty 1:19:16 [laughs] Yeah. I, I, I came up with a rule a few years ago that really helped me process stuff. I was like, the closer you get to the top 1% of whatever industry you're in-

Alex Warren 1:19:26 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:19:26 ... the more likely it is that 50% of people disagree with you.

Alex Warren 1:19:29 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:19:30 And, and that math helped it make sense, because I remember when my comment section was just, like, the nicest place on earth.

Alex Warren 1:19:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:19:37 Like, when it was cute and cozy and everything else. And then you just realize, you're like, okay, scale means disagreement, it means disconnection, it means debate, whatever it means. And, and you realize that it's not a reflection of you, me, or anyone else. It's, it's normally just a reflection of too many opinions.

Alex Warren 1:19:55 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:19:56 And, and just that... And one thing that's really helped me a lot is recognizing that hate is loud, and love is usually soft and quiet.

Alex Warren 1:20:03 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:20:04 And that hate is so aggressive and direct, but love is so indirect and subtle in how we share it.

Alex Warren 1:20:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:20:13 And I've tried really hard over the last couple of years to take... So before I used to be indifferent to both. And what's really helped me recently is to be as gracious in receiving love-

Alex Warren 1:20:28 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:20:29 ... as I was serious about reading hate.

Alex Warren 1:20:32 Ooh.

Jay Shetty 1:20:33 So when I used to read the hateful comments, you read them and you take them seriously. I get that feeling.

Alex Warren 1:20:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:20:37 Like, you read one bad comment and you're like, "I must suck," and you're checking with everyone. So you're taking it so seriously. So if I'm gonna take it that seriously, I need to take the love as graciously as I took that. And so now if someone says to me, "Jay, I listened to this episode with," which I'm sure people would, "with Alex, and, like, I couldn't believe Alex was," you know. It's like I would try and take that in far more graciously and presently than I ever would-

Alex Warren 1:20:59 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:21:00 ... because I recognize that I have to rewire my brain, not to only listen to the good stuff or only think positive. That's not the goal. But to truly let my heart and soul feel the impact, because I definitely let my heart and soul [laughs] feel the impact of someone, you know-

Alex Warren 1:21:14 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:21:14 ... trying to hurt me.

Alex Warren 1:21:15 110%.

Jay Shetty 1:21:16 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:21:16 It's, it's such a strange thing to, like... I think that was the one part that was really hard for me to turn off, was the fact that I wanna defend myself every second, you know?

Jay Shetty 1:21:24 Of course.

Alex Warren 1:21:24 I see so many things about me on the internet that are not true, and everyone just assumes these things because of who I am or how I'm perceived on the internet. And so it's just, like, a weird thing of just, like, you wanna ba- ba- so badly be like, "No, no, I'm not like that. Look, like, I, I'm this," and it's like, it doesn't matter. Like, people are gonna believe whatever the hell they wanna believe anyway. But that's the hardest thing, is shutting the [censored] up. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:21:43 Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, I remember once I said, "I wish I could sit down one on one with every single person-

Alex Warren 1:21:49 Yes. Oh my God

Jay Shetty 1:21:49 ... who doesn't understand me. If I could just hold their hands for a moment and look in their eyes and explain my intention-

Alex Warren 1:21:55 Dude

Jay Shetty 1:21:55 ... and what I was going through and what I was struggl- you know, whatever it may be. And I know I can't do that physically, so you know.

Alex Warren 1:22:02 It's crazy.

Jay Shetty 1:22:03 Yeah. But I get... Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:22:04 I, I hope one day. I hope one day that some people just realize my intentions. My intention is just to make music that can help people. Everything past that, it doesn't matter. Like, I think that's the problem, is, like, everyone looks at these things so much and they view it as arbitrary, and they just want to hate on things that they may not like. And I think if you give everything a chance, like, I... There's so much music that I may not, like, love, right? But I respect the fact that they're trying. I think that's the biggest thing in life right now, is, like, there are so many popular musicians right now where their fandoms are like, "Oh, [censored] Alex because this, this, this." And it's like, dude, do you not realize all of us are friends behind the scenes?

Jay Shetty 1:22:40 Yeah, yeah.

Alex Warren 1:22:40 All of us are rooting each other on.

Jay Shetty 1:22:42 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:22:43 You know? And, like, that's the one thing, is, like, I feel like you're... It's just such a strange... And obviously it's the job. It's so the job. But come, coming from being a fan to then doing it-

Jay Shetty 1:22:51 Yeah

Alex Warren 1:22:52 ... it's the craziest thing. It's the craziest thing being in it, and, like, understanding it, and, and, and being like, "Wow," like, "I understand why people don't say anything." It sucks that you can't.

Jay Shetty 1:23:03 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:23:03 You know?

Jay Shetty 1:23:03 Yeah. And it, and it's so hard, because we're also living in a time where I think everyone's like, "Let's be sensitive about each other's mental health, and let's really be thoughtful about how we make people feel." [laughs]

Alex Warren 1:23:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:23:13 And then over nothing, like, just over... Almost like a... It's almost like a treating music and art like a sports team.

Alex Warren 1:23:19 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:23:20 You know? But, um, Alex, it's been such a joy talking to you, and I've... Truly hope this is the beginning of, um, getting to know you better and getting to know you more. I've, I've loved every moment of-

Alex Warren 1:23:31 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:23:31 ... your openness, your vulnerability, and I, I really appreciate

Jay Shetty 1:23:36 just how truly transparent you're willing to be in order to help people and help people understand your music better, and I think that's why your music has resonated so strongly and deeply with me and, you know, billions of people around the world, because I believe that everything you shared today is exactly what we're hearing and feeling in your music, and I felt this as deeply as we do the chords and the, the singing and all the work that comes through with you. So thank you so much.

Alex Warren 1:24:03 Thank you. I don't feel like you realize how much I needed this, obviously. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:24:06 Well, I hope so.

Alex Warren 1:24:07 This was, this was really, really important for me.

Jay Shetty 1:24:09 Well, that means a lot to me. Uh, oh, we, we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five.

Alex Warren 1:24:13 Okay.

Jay Shetty 1:24:13 These questions have to be answered in one sentence each.

Alex Warren 1:24:16 Cool.

Jay Shetty 1:24:17 So Alex Warren, these are your final five.

Alex Warren 1:24:19 Okay. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:24:19 The first question is... And we ask these to every guest. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

Alex Warren 1:24:26 I've actually never received any advice I think I've, I've used. But I would say the best advice would be, um... Wait, I forgot this is one sentence.

Jay Shetty 1:24:34 No, no, that's fine. That's fine.

Alex Warren 1:24:35 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:24:35 You can do that. I'm gonna let you do that anyway, but yeah.

Alex Warren 1:24:37 Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. You, whatever happens in your life, run with it.

Jay Shetty 1:24:44 Mm-hmm. Okay. Uh, second question: what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Alex Warren 1:24:49 Give up.

Jay Shetty 1:24:51 Who said that to you?

Alex Warren 1:24:52 My mom.

Jay Shetty 1:24:53 How many times?

Alex Warren 1:24:54 Too many. To the point where I stopped believing it. So that was definitely the thing, and I think it fueled me to even keep going more.

Jay Shetty 1:25:01 So sometimes it's great when someone repeats bad advice because you get desensitized from it-

Alex Warren 1:25:05 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:25:05 ... is what I'm taking away from your-

Alex Warren 1:25:07 That's what I got

Jay Shetty 1:25:07 ... your brain and how it works. I wanna scan your brain one day.

Alex Warren 1:25:09 Me too.

Jay Shetty 1:25:10 Yeah, we should do that.

Alex Warren 1:25:11 I would be so interested.

Jay Shetty 1:25:11 Yeah, I would love to do that. We-

Alex Warren 1:25:13 All the colors.

Jay Shetty 1:25:13 Yeah, yeah. S- I have a lot of neuroscientists on the show, so we'll have to, we'll have to-

Alex Warren 1:25:16 I would love that

Jay Shetty 1:25:16 ... we'd have to figure that out.

Alex Warren 1:25:17 Oh.

Jay Shetty 1:25:17 That'd be really special to do. Let's... We'll, we'll arrange that. Uh, question number three, I'd love for you to leave a video for your kids here on the podcast so that-

Alex Warren 1:25:27 Really?

Jay Shetty 1:25:27 Yeah, that-

Alex Warren 1:25:28 Okay, cool

Jay Shetty 1:25:28 ... would make my day.

Alex Warren 1:25:29 All right, cool. Which camera do I look in?

Jay Shetty 1:25:30 Uh, that one. Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:25:30 All right. Hey, kids. It's your dad. Um, I'm sitting here right now with, uh, probably your uncle at this point, or I don't know. He's around a lot, and I don't know if he's eating out of our fridge or what he's doing, but I just want you to know that I love you so much, and I pretty much talked about you this entire podcast. And, um, if you wanna learn more about me and, uh, watch it. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:25:51 [laughs] I love that. That's beautiful. Thank you.

Alex Warren 1:25:54 Thank you for letting me do that.

Jay Shetty 1:25:55 Of course.

Alex Warren 1:25:55 That's cool.

Jay Shetty 1:25:56 It's so cool. I just love it. I love-

Alex Warren 1:25:58 I do that all the time

Jay Shetty 1:25:58 ... I love that you do it all the time. Like, you're inspiring me to wanna do it. Like, I'm gonna start-

Alex Warren 1:26:02 It's the best

Jay Shetty 1:26:02 ... doing it because of you.

Alex Warren 1:26:03 It's the best, and I got it from my dad, and I think it's the most special thing, especially when they're born, I'm gonna have a camera everywhere-

Jay Shetty 1:26:10 Yeah

Alex Warren 1:26:10 ... so they know that, like... So they just have that moments.

Jay Shetty 1:26:12 Yeah. You're so young, but did you watch that show How I Met Your Mother?

Alex Warren 1:26:15 Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:26:15 Yeah, it's like that to me is just... You know, I loved that show, and I never thought of it, so you-

Alex Warren 1:26:19 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:26:19 ... inspired it. I love it. Uh, question number four, uh, if you could talk to your father today, what would you say to him?

Alex Warren 1:26:31 Am I everything you wanted me to be? I care more about what my dad thinks than anything. So as I live life, and I think you asked me this so many times today, and I didn't have an answer, and as I'm saying this, I think I know it, is you ask why I have this outlook on life and how I do based on the things I've gone through, and I think it's really easy to when you have, um, a person or you believe someone's looking down at you. And I like to think that my dad's proud of me. And so that's the thing is, you know, everything I do, I try to be moral, and I try to do the right thing because I truly believe that my dad is, uh, watching.

Jay Shetty 1:27:13 I hope one day we get to see those videos in some capacity.

Alex Warren 1:27:18 I would show you anytime.

Jay Shetty 1:27:18 Yeah. That's, uh, I can't e- if he was able to infuse that much morality, love, kindness, and belief in you-

Alex Warren 1:27:25 You'd love them

Jay Shetty 1:27:26 ... like, that's-

Alex Warren 1:27:26 I know just after this conversation

Jay Shetty 1:27:27 ... it's just unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

Alex Warren 1:27:28 You would love those videos.

Jay Shetty 1:27:29 Really special. Yeah, genuinely so powerful. Uh, fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show, Alex, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

Alex Warren 1:27:40 Be nice to your neighbor.

Jay Shetty 1:27:42 Yeah.

Alex Warren 1:27:42 Treat your neighbor the way you wanna be treated. I think that's one we've lost so much is everyone now more than ever needs it. Where we are today, there's so much hate, and there's so much judgment, and that's... Now more than ever, I just think that everyone needs to be treated the way that they would like to be treated.

Jay Shetty 1:28:00 Alex Warren, I'm so excited to see you at the Grammys.

Alex Warren 1:28:02 I'm excited to see you.

Jay Shetty 1:28:03 Uh, I'm gonna be there. I'm, uh, really looking forward to seeing you, you know, hopefully win, putting it out there, manifesting right now. Uh, it would be wonderful to be there and see you get that award that you so deeply deserve and-

Alex Warren 1:28:16 I can't wait to watch Leon Thomas win it. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:28:19 [laughs] Uh-

Alex Warren 1:28:22 I appreciate you. Thank you so much.

Jay Shetty 1:28:23 I mean it. I mean it. Alex, such a pleasure, truly.

Alex Warren 1:28:25 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:28:26 Thank you. You're awesome, man.

Alex Warren 1:28:28 Dude.

Jay Shetty 1:28:28 Such a great guy.

Alex Warren 1:28:29 That was so needed.

Jay Shetty 1:28:30 If you loved this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

1:28:41 My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just wanna keep doing that